#i don't really write anything embarrassing either i'm just opinionated and expressive in a way that i am not at work

[milaza]

lately i've been wanting to change my art name but milaza is really too perfect... i don't draw anything embarrassing i think it's more my writing that pisses me off rn. tbh i wouldn't be so bothered if my irl coworker didn't have my website bookmarked like girl delete that shit $*(#&(@*$

[creepswrites]

Hi hi I love your writing so much, could we please have something for the leslie vernon fans 👀

yes omgomg i love leslie so much!! hiiii leslie vernon fans hiiii i hope you enjoy…… i rly see leslie in a VERY Particular way BUT i hope this is still satisfactory for everyone to read :)

LESLIE VERNON x GN!READER (they/them)

SUMMARY: People didn't really understand when you told them you weren't dating. Frankly, the only person who's opinion on your relationship mattered was Leslie's. Everyone else could go fuck themselves.

Leslie was a strange guy.

You’d met him at the nearby library one stormy afternoon when you'd retreated inside to get out of the storm. He'd been in the true crime section leafing through a book you had been meaning to read and the rest was history. The two of you had hit it off instantly, bonding over your shared love of true crime and horror. You became attached at the hip in a matter of weeks, the both of you gushing about the latest reported slasher villain rising or the psychology essays you both needed to write for class. He was your best friend.

Truthfully, neither of you had very many other friends but the sentiment still counted. 

One afternoon, someone had asked you how long you and Leslie had been dating for and the question startled you. You were sitting in class with Leslie and he'd been up late again so you let him copy off your notes. At one point, he'd dropped his head a little to rest on your shoulder and you let him. While you didn't consider yourself a very touchy-feely person, it was different with him.

"So," one of your more boisterous classmates said while everyone was clearing out for the day, "How long have you two been dating?"

You blinked. "What?"

"Y'know. It's kinda obvious, you don't have to play coy about it!" Another classmate chimed in with a less-than-kind smirk.

Leslie didn't say anything and you felt your stomach drop. Too often you'd make friends with guys who were only really interested in dating you and you felt sick with the idea Leslie was like that too.

You were about to make a run for it but Leslie just sighed. "It's not like that, c'mon guys." He lifted his head to give them one of his charismatic smiles. "You should know better than to go assuming that kinda stuff."

Thoroughly embarrassed, your classmates hurried off and you turned to look at him, smiling when he yawned and stretched. "Thanks."

"No need. 's weird people ask," he sighed. "My place or yours? I'm taking a nap either way, if that changes your mind." He said as he gathered his stuff to leave. The two of you packed your bags in a comfortable silence which gave you plenty of time to think.

You'd both just stepped out into the hallway when you grabbed his wrist. "Les..."

"Hm?" He gave you a tired smile.

"I don't have romantic feelings for you." You choked out, unable to meet his eyes. "I don't- I don't know if that changes anything but-"

He cut you off as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "I don't either, babe. Don't sweat about it. People just... enjoy making assumptions about things they don't understand." He tilted his head to watch you smile. "Now. My place or yours?"

"Yours," you sighed, "My roommates'll be home."

So yeah. Leslie was a strange guy. But you liked him that way.

"Do you ever wish we dated?" You'd asked him one afternoon at a mall. The two of you had gone shopping at one of the bookstores and decided to go to the food court for lunch.

Leslie looked up at you with a bewildered expression. "No? Is this a trick question?"

"Yes." You answered honestly, stealing a fry off his plate despite having plenty of your own. "We spend a lot of time together, we cuddle, we've kissed a few times. But you don't seem interested in dating me."

He gave you a curious look and chuckled, covering his mouth. "What, do you want to date?"

You let out a huff, rolling your eyes fondly when he nudged your foot under the table to tease you. "No, obviously not. I mean, you're a sweet guy and I love spending time with you. But it's just..."

"Not like that." He finished for you. You both locked eyes and he gave you a sweet, genuine smile. "I adore you. You're one of my favorite people I've ever known. But 'm not into you like that." Leslie said as he took a bite of his burger. He chewed thoughtfully before nudging you again. "Not opposed to some kinda relationship though. Like, just an us thing, y'know? Not partners or datin' but some third thing?"

It had honestly been a bit relieving for you to hear and you two spent a long time talking about it.

Things changed in the next few days. You held hands walking to class a few times, sometimes Leslie would kiss your forehead or you'd kiss his cheek, and you started staying at his house more often than not.

People didn't really understand when you told them you weren't dating. Frankly, the only person who's opinion on your relationship mattered was Leslie's. Everyone else could go fuck themselves.

Your relationship wasn't strictly labeled since neither of you really cared for it. Some google searches led to you writing it off as queerplatonic and calling it a day. It wasn't romantic but you were emotionally intimate. You cuddled, relied on each other, opened up in a way more typical for romantic partners, and the like.

But Leslie was a strange guy. So, of course, you were both strange together.

You'd never considered him to be the jealous type though.

One day you were sitting in the library taking notes with Leslie sat beside you, hard at work playing on his phone under the table - it was your turn to take class notes since he did it last week - when a girl came over and sat beside you.

"Hey," she said softly, scooting way too close for comfort.

You gave her a wide-eyed stare before going back to your writing. "Uh. Hi. Can I help you?"

She giggled and gave a brief glance to Leslie. "You busy this weekend?"

"Yep," you said in a clipped tone. "Cleaning the turtle tank this weekend. They're overdue."

"Oh, you like animals? That's so sweet." She cooed and it made your skin crawl when she held your arm.

You were going to give some snarky retort but Leslie suddenly draped his arm around your shoulders, accidentally smacking her in the face slightly. "They're mine, actually."

"The turtles or them?" She asked, gesturing to you with an exasperated look shot your way. As though Leslie's antics ought to annoy you too.

Leslie just gave her a tight-lipped smile.

She huffed but kept her sweet facade up. "Well, I heard through the grapevine you two aren't dating. Soooo I don't see what's so wrong about wanting to go on a date with your friend."

"Oh, lots wrong." Leslie said, pulling you closer and making your pencil scrape against the lined paper. If his protectiveness weren't so endearing, you would've been annoyed at him messing up your notes. "First off, I'd advise them not to go."

The girl scoffed, grabbing your arm again. "You're not their boyfriend, you can't decide what they can do."

You knew Leslie well enough that you could tell when he was mad. He wasn't the type of angry who got up in people's faces or screamed at them. No. He got very quiet instead. Quiet and forceful without even raising his voice. It unsettled you sometimes but now, seeing it focused on some annoying, entitled girl, you almost wanted to kiss him.

"I think you should leave." Leslie said, his smile never wavering but grew unsettlingly.

"Make me." The girl shot back, clearly possessing a death wish.

Before Leslie could make a scene, you cupped his face and leaned in to kiss him. Your eyes were closed so you couldn't see his reaction but you could hear the girl get up and leave. It didn't feel magical like how movies always made first kisses seem but it was sweet in a different way.

You pulled back when the realization hit you that you were kissing Leslie. You'd never talked about if that was okay or not and you were paralyzed at the idea you'd read everything wrong. You jerked back like you'd been burned and you stared at him

He was staring back with bright eyes and a soft flush to his cheeks that made you feel like puking. "Woah." He chuckled, running a hand through his hair nervously while unable to meet your eyes. "Um. Wow."

"I'msosorry!" You blurted out as you covered your face with your hands. "I didn't know how else to make her go away, I- I thought it was- I'm sorry, we never-!"

He cut you off by cupping your face and pulling you back in for another kiss. It was softer, sweeter this time, and your hands moved to hold his shoulders to keep yourself upright. His hands held your waist as you kissed and the whole thing felt a little magical. If you two were dating, you'd probably swoon under the attention.

If this were a normal coming-of-age film, maybe this would be the part where Leslie would confess to having always been in love with you and you'd burst into relieved tears and confess back. Or maybe this was more like a charming boy-next-door story where he tells you that he's only ever had eyes for you and you two would become the power couple of your psychology course.

But this wasn't either of those stories. You never liked those kinds of stories anyways.

So instead, you two pulled apart and, miraculously, laughed. It was a quiet giggle-fit, his lips pressed against your temple while you buried your face into his shoulder as you tried to keep your voices down.

"I didn't take you for the jealous type," you mumbled softly into his shoulder.

"Neither did I." He snorted before kissing your cheek. "That was nice though."

You nodded gently, nuzzling more into his neck. "We addin' that to the list of stuff we can do?"

"God yeah." Leslie said with a breathy chuckle. "Didn't think I'd like that as much as I did."

You snorted and kissed him chastely.

Leslie was a strange guy. But he was your strange guy.

[sunder-soul]

HII since we’ve decided your tom riddle IS canon tom riddle i have a question for u!! do you think if tom were to fall in love with a halfblood or pureblood reader he would still have to face his dumbass opinions on muggles or would that just allow him to keep existing in his own little world where every muggle is like his father??

I love pairing Tom with characters that aren't 'pureblood' because I see his progression away from facades as the same path he has to take to walk towards a genuine emotional connection with someone. Like, I do think Tom hates Muggles, but separate to that I DON'T think he's genuine about Muggle-born and half-blood prejudices, he's just using that language to manipulate his stupid friends and monopolise the waiting tool of bigotry in the world around him to meet his ends.

So, writing him getting close with someone who isn't pureblood is fun because it necessitates that he choose between his facade of elitism he uses for his followers and his own feelings. Moreover, writing him with a Muggle or someone who is vocal about wizarding world flaws/Muggle strengths is fun because it actively challenges his own prejudices and flaws, and forces him to start to think critically about his perception of the world.

Either of these dynamics, to me, is essential to Tom actually being genuine in learning to love someone. You have to be yourself, you have to be able to empathise, and you have to make hard choices about what sort of person you're going to be. I find that so much more interesting than pairing him with a pureblood character and allowing that potential character growth and conflict go untapped!

But I think you have to write it convincingly - I HATE the trope where someone magically loses all their bigotry just because they """fall""" for someone of the group they're bigoted against. It's a really shallow interpretation of what bigotry is and how people can pull some WILD tricks compartmentalising things in their own minds. The romance and the "challenging of beliefs" arcs are deeply intertwined, but they are not the same thing. That's why I like to write characters that call Tom out, or get hurt by his prejudices and express their hurt to him in a way that makes him lose something - by distancing themselves, losing trust in him, that sort of thing. He faces consequences by losing something he cares about if he decides to hold onto those beliefs and behaviours, and it makes it his choice to work ON HIMSELF in order to heal the relationship he cares about.

So I guess what I'm saying is, the act of growing to care about someone who isn't pureblood wouldn't make Tom reassess himself, but with the right pressure (from various sources) I think he would, and I think love could be the perfect inducement to make him do so. I doubt he'd subject himself to the scrutiny, discomfort, and embarrassment of admitting one's flaws and working on them for anything less than love (of any kind, not just romantic), I think it would feel good enough to him and he'd miss it enough once he'd lost it to go through that to get it back and keep it forever.

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime – Seven // Wanda Maximoff

chapter six | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter eight

author’s note: hope y’all like this one 👀

The Maximoffs were just as a good at throwing a party as my own parents were.

Celebrating a new book that was published at Pietro's business, they threw a party in their back garden big enough to host half the town if they wanted to. Actually, now that I thought about, half the town was probably there.

We were invited to celebrate along with them because we were 'family' now, as Oleg and Iryna pointed out, so I found myself standing in their garden getting a drink under the night sky and trying to blend in with the snacks table so I wouldn't have to mingle. Parties still weren't my thing, clearly.

People-watching was more my forte. It was amazing the things people did when they thought nobody was looking. One guy coughed into his hand and wiped it on his pants – I reminded myself not to shake his hand – whilst some woman checked if her teeth were clean on the back of a serving tray.

My gaze raked the garden, indifferent to the men who attempted to get women's attention with a boyish grin and terrible pick-up lines, or the women who lifted their dresses a little higher than necessary to steal a man's attention. I spotted my parents talking to some guests whom I'd never see before, then there was Wanda's parents laughing alongside Pietro as he told a joke to some important looking people.

Eventually, my eyes fell to the remaining Maximoff, who was looking especially beautiful tonight. A deep lilac gown adorned her figure and she wore it like it was uniquely made just for her. She probably didn't even realise, but all eyes were definitely on her; a simple stride around the garden had people turning heads to see who the lilac beauty was. Y/B/N was the most envied man of the evening, with every guy here wishing they could have Wanda on their arm.

I'd wanted to tell her just how truly stunning she looked tonight, but I hadn't been able to pull her away from my brother's side for even a second. Everywhere he went, she went, too. I'd caught her eyes maybe three times tonight since she was so involved with whatever she spoke about with the people who worked for Pietro. I didn't take it personally of course, but it didn't make me feel any better.

Y/B/N had his hands all over her, probably suspecting just how many people were checking her out tonight, and I hated the way it made me feel. Envy and jealousy came over me and it wasn't pleasant. His hand was permanently fixed on her waist, at times moving suspiciously lower and making me roll my eyes. Occasionally, he'd lean over and whisper something in her ear making her flush – involuntarily or not, I didn't know. Wanda was a good actress, appearing as the perfect fiancé to him and couple to everybody else. Or, at least, I hoped it was acting.

"Pretty ladies shouldn't be standing by their lonesome," said someone with a Sokovian accent, but sadly not the one I wanted to hear.

"Pietro," I said with an amused smile, turning to face the man of the evening. "Congratulations on the new published book!"

He smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, Y/N. How are you finding the party?"

I glanced around, disguising my discomfort with a nod. "It's great."

He chuckled, as if suspecting that was a lie, before changing the subject. "So, the book. Have you read it?"

Glad that this was something I could actually talk about, my shoulders relaxed and I nodded. "Yes! I bought it yesterday as soon as it was published. I've only read the first six chapters, but what I've read is beautifully written."

Pietro snickered, raising his brows. "Only? That's further than anyone here has read."

I smiled bashfully, eyes veering elsewhere with embarrassment. "I guess I just have a lot of free time."

He hummed with amusement. "And you must really like reading... Wanda mentioned you write, too. It's nice to know it runs in the family."

Certain my cheeks were flushed, I nodded. "Yeah, our dad, he taught Y/B/N and I how to write when we were kids. That's where my love of literature began."

"And what do you like to write?" he asked, intrigued.

I shrugged, the grip on my glass of champagne loosening as I grew comfortable. "I don't know... short stories, drabbles, novels. I mainly deal with themes of love and romanticism. We're so intent on leading our lives with what other people want that we rarely take time to think about we want... I write about that."

Swallowing, I looked to Pietro, hoping I wasn't boring him. He was a publisher after all, besides my soon-to-be brother-in-law. His opinion was important to me.

"I must admit, Y/N, my interest is piqued," he admitted, watching me with an inquisitive gaze. "Do you have anything I could read?"

"It's probably better than it sounds," I said dismissively, knowing this was just small talk.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I doubt that. You shouldn't say such things. You never know, you could be my next signed author."

I tried not to laugh. "Nice try, Pietro."

He smiled widely. "What? I'm serious!"

Tilting my head towards him knowingly, I sighed. "We both know that can't happen."

He was grinning now, clearly entertained by my unamused expression. "Says who?"

I motioned around us with my drink. "Says everyone? The world we live in?"

He began to list authors on his fingers as he said, "Jane Austen. Emily Bronte. Mary Shelley. Louisa May Alcott. Dare I name more?"

"Okay, okay, I get it," I said, pushing his hand down and rolling my eyes at his smug expression. "But I can promise you that all of those women fought tooth and nail to get published. Their families probably weren't as accepting as they wanted them to be. There's still people now who talk about how unprofessional and lacklustre their works are. They didn't have it easy. Still don't. And don't even get me started on the reputation side of things for you... d'you know how much backlash you'd get for signing a woman?"

Pietro shrugged, sipping his drink, before saying casually, "I only care about talent, Y/N. And if you have even a quarter of the talent your brother does, then I'm happy to go from there."

I quirked a brow, trying to gauge if he was pulling my leg or not. But the kind eyes looking back at me suggested he may not have been. Either way, the idea of actually being published – something I'd been dreaming of since I was a kid – was enough to raise my suspicions and make me shake my head.

"Thanks for listening, Pietro," I said conclusively, hoping he got the hint.

He nodded, accepting my word, thankfully. "Anytime. Hopefully this isn't the end of this conversation, though."

I cracked a smile, knowing it was but giving him the benefit of the doubt. He pursed his lips, glancing around briefly before attempting to hide an amused smile.

"What are you smiling at?" I teased, nudging him in the arm slightly.

His eyes met mine, sparkling with mischief. "You've probably not noticed, but as we've been speaking, almost everyone in this garden has looked our way."

I cocked my head with confusion, smile still present. He nodded subtly, eyes flickering to the right, so I followed his gaze and inconspicuously looked around. He was right, as murmurs of gossip escaped people's lips, their eyes trying to get a good look at the two of us. Even our parents were looking our way, no doubt discussing our future wedding affair.

"Wow," I breathed out, trying not to laugh as I looked back to him. "You'd think they'd have something better to do."

He leaned in, muttering, "Wanna give them a show?"

My eyes flickered between his, seeing that roguish charm of his come to life. I couldn't resist his mischievous attempt to piss off our parents, so of course I nodded with a stifled laugh.

"Care to dance, Miss Y/L/N?" he asked, a little louder than he needed to, attracting more attention.

I grinned, grateful for the idiot that was Pietro. He was already making my evening ten times better than it was.

Resting my hand in his outstretched one, I nodded. "Thank you, Mr Maximoff."

I barely had chance to put my glass down before he led me to the area before the live band that was strumming a lovely upbeat ballad. We joined the other couples that were also having a dance, unbothered by their nosey stares.

Bowing dramatically, he smiled and I curtsied before resting a hand on his shoulder and the other in his. He rested a hand on my waist respectfully before a grin spread across his lips and he began to dance me around everybody else, way too fast for me to keep up.

"Pietro!" I exclaimed between fits of laughter, trying not to trip over my feet or his.

"You said we could dance," he answered simply, before spinning me around.

My eyes went dizzy as he dipped me, making me laugh joyfully. For the first time all night, I was having fun. When he pulled me up, his eyes motioned to the left of us.

"D'you think our parents have already picked the wedding venue?" he teased.

"Definitely," I said with a nod, before shoving him back slightly. "But you, mister, need to slow down. You're like a speedster with the dancing. We should call you Quicksilver."

He laughed, continued to dance me around but much more slower this time. "I like that. You're clever. I can see why Wanda has taken a liking to you."

I knew he didn't mean it like that, but my heart dropped to my stomach anyway. A hearty chuckle escaped his lips as he noticed my expression. Thankfully, he didn't question it and we continued to make a fool of ourselves for a few more songs before taking a break by the snacks table.

"You're an idiot," I told Pietro as we caught our breath, but a delighted smile was on my lips. "You know you've probably convinced our parents that we're a couple now, right?"

"Hey, you're the one who started to fluff my hair like you loved me!" he retorted with humoured eyes.

"Because you're just so darn cute!" I mocked him, before moving forward and going in to fluff his hair yet again.

He attempted to smack my hand away as he said, "Hands off the hair, Y/L/N! I styled it perfectly!"

Grabbing my wrists, he held me back and I tried not to cry with laughter at the expression on his face.

"Such a child," I decided, pulling my hands away. "Whatever happens from here on out is definitely your fault."

He scoffed, as if ready to refute that fact, but before he could say anything, my brother's voice was heard.

"It's nice to see you actually conversing with people for a change, but maybe not my publisher."

Pietro and I turned and saw Y/B/N and Wanda approaching us. My brother seemed entertained by Pietro and I, looking between us with pre-conceived ideas that we may have already fancied each other, just like everyone else had tonight. Wanda, meanwhile, was watching me with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"He's good company, what can I say?" I joked, returning my brother's smile.

"Oh?" He raised a brow, knowing look in his eyes.

I rolled my own, trying not to laugh at his insinuation. There was no point trying to convince him otherwise.

"I was just giving Y/N here the best evening ever since she was moping around in the corner," Pietro explained nonchalantly, making me smack his arm.

"I was not moping!" I defended myself.

He shrugged, ghost of a smile on his lips. "Whatever you say."

I gave him a playful glare before focusing my attention to the couple before us.

"As lovely as it is to see whatever this is," my brother continued to make things awkward as he motioned between us, "I came to get Pietro. Someone from the press is here and has questions about the book."

At the mention of this, Pietro straightened up and neatened his bow tie, flashing my brother his most confident smile. "Lead the way, Y/B/N."

After assuring Wanda he'd be back in a second, Y/B/N let go of her waist and guided Pietro to the members of the press. Glad that he'd finally left her side, I looked to Wanda with a soft smile.

"Hey," I said quietly, glancing around before saying what I'd wanted to say all night. "You look radiant tonight, Wanda." 

Unexpectedly, she crossed her arms and pressed her lips together firmly. "How was your dance with Pietro?"

Her green eyes, literally green with envy, watched me with distaste. It didn't take long for me to recognise that familiar jealousy entwined in her expression because it was probably the same way I looked when she was with my brother. For some reason, this made me smile with amusement.

"He's a very good dancer," I said, half truthful and half trying to poke fun.

She wasn't amused. "Yeah, everybody saw. You've been all over him."

I covered my mouth, trying very hard not to laugh. "I mean, he's pretty funny to be around. I can totally see why everybody wants us to get married."

Her jaw clenched as she narrowed her eyes at me.

"C'mon, it's a joke," I said lightheartedly, nudging her in the arm. "You know that."

After internally debating whether or not to believe me, she relaxed her shoulders and unclenched her jaw. "I know."

"So, what's the problem?" I asked, raising a brow and smiling playfully.

She rolled her eyes. "Nothing."

My smile faded as I searched her eyes. "C'mon. What is it? You know you can tell me."

"Forget it, Y/N," she muttered, avoiding my eyes.

Realising she was still clearly bothered, I sighed dramatically, hoping to lighten the mood. Making sure my voice was low enough for only her to hear, I said, "I only danced with him to annoy our parents. Same with him. He's clearly not interested in me and neither I with him. That's why we get along so well." Teasing her once more, I added, "If circumstances were different, I'd like to think we'd be good friends. He's quite handsome, though I think the good looks are a Maximoff twin thing. Maybe if–"

"I'm in love with you!"

I paused, blinking, unsure if I'd heard correctly. Her cheeks were flushed as she looked to me with exasperation.

Glancing around to make sure nobody was attracted by her outburst, I swallowed hard. My heart was pounding in my ears as she said what I'd been struggling to accept for the past two months.

"What?" I breathed out, raising my brows with surprise.

She licked her lips, realisation replacing her look of admission. Opening her mouth to say something, she stepped forward, but my brother returned with an oblivious smile on his face and interrupted the moment.

"Wanda, the journalists want a picture of us for their article," he said enthusiastically, returning his arm around her waist and tugging her close, making my skin crawl.

Her gaze lingered on me for as long as she could before looking up to my brother with a halfhearted smile.

"Sure," she agreed reluctantly.

My brother nodded at me before leading Wanda away. She gave me one last look, her eyes trapped with unsaid words, before leaving with him. My mouth went dry as Wanda's words echoed in my mind. She was in love with me. And I knew I was in love with her, too. I had been for a while.

But wouldn't admitting that make this whole thing a lot more complicated?

—

"Will you stop shaking your hand? It's very distracting."

I stopped shaking my hand and gave my mum an apologetic glance before facing the door again. I was extremely eager and nervous to see Wanda again, as I hadn't been able to see her for the rest of the party last night.

Her words were permanently resounding in my mind all night, making it difficult to fall asleep. The reality of our situation had dawned on me and I knew that even though everything would become more difficult between us, I had to tell her that I felt the same way. The last thing I wanted was her panicking that I didn't. Because these last two months loving her in secret were better than anything I'd experienced in my life.

Iryna and my mum had made plans to hang out today, including Wanda and I in the plans without actually telling me until this morning. I didn't mind though as I was hoping it could be an opportunity for us both to finally speak.

The front door opened to reveal Iryna with a bright, inviting smile. She exchanged greetings with us both and ushered us inside instantly. There, waiting, was Wanda, looking as gorgeous as ever. A calm suddenly enveloped me as I looked to her, my heart fluttering in my chest more so than usual. She loved me and that thought alone made me feel giddy inside.

"You must come upstairs to the closet with me," Iryna insisted before I could utter a word to the brunette. "I've been very silly and impulse-ordered a bunch of new dresses. Of course, the only way to fix that is to try them on."

My mother laughed alongside her and the two of them looked to Wanda and I questioningly. I smiled their way, glancing at Wanda, before following them upstairs. Maybe later.

I spent the next hour trying on clothes against my own will, modelling them for Wanda and our mothers awkwardly. Ecstatic, our mothers threw their opinions out at me, but I was barely listening because all I could seem to focus on was a quiet Wanda. I couldn't read her mind for the life of me – she was getting better at hiding how she truly felt.

Wanda also tried some dresses on, still not as enthused as she usually was, but neither of our mothers seemed to take notice. I sat on the lounge sofa alongside them, eyes unable to look away from Wanda as she modelled the dresses. I had no words, my mind hazy and tongue tied as she stole my breath away for the millionth time. She was ethereal.

"...what do you think, Y/N?" Iryna asked, forcing me to look away from Wanda and to her. "She should keep this one, shouldn't she?"

I hummed in agreement, looking back to Wanda, who was avoiding my eyes. "She should. I don't think I've ever seen a dress so perfect for someone before."

Our mothers didn't seem to think much of my comment, but Wanda finally looked up, not ignoring me for the first time since I got here. I offered her a small smile, hoping she could see what I'd been wanting to say to her since last night. But she looked away, chewing on her lip and looking down.

"I'm gonna change," she mumbled, before turning to go back behind the curtain.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back against the seat. I'd just have to find a spare moment.

Iryna and my mum proceeded to try on a bunch of dresses before we called it a day and were ready to eat lunch.

"I want you to have these, Y/N," Iryna told me as we all stood up, motioning to the pile of dresses on the arm of the sofa. "It's my gift to you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, Iryna, you don't need to give–"

"Don't be ridiculous," she cut me off with a wave of her hand. "You're family now. Anything for my daughter-in-law."

I smiled awkwardly, not missing the eye roll from Wanda, before nodding. "Thanks..."

She looked to her daughter. "Wanda, medovyy (honey), can you help her pack them away and meet Y/M/N and I outside on the patio for some lunch?"

Wanda, having no other choice but to say yes, nodded and forced a smile in her mum's direction. "Sure, mum."

Our mothers fell into conversation as they left the room, finally leaving Wanda and I alone. I released a breath, grateful for the privacy, and looked to the Sokovian in question.

"You okay?" I asked slowly, wanting to find a start before erupting straight into my feelings.

She nodded, nibbling on her lip. She looked like she wanted to say something more, so I watched her patiently.

After a pause, when I thought she may just stay quiet forever, she spoke. "If what I said last night was out of line, I'm sorry."

I shook my head, a smile curling on my lips. "It wasn't. I'm in love with you, too."

Surprised, she finally met my gaze, eyes swirling with confusion. "You are?"

"Of course I am," I said quietly, stepping forward and taking her hands in mine. "I didn't mean to make you jealous last night. Pietro and I were genuinely just hanging out as friends."

She shook her head, eyes flickering between mine. "It doesn't matter about that. Forget it."

I still felt guilty, adding, "I know, but it does matter. I don't want to–"

She pressed her lips to mine quickly, cutting me off. Her fingers tangled in my hair as she tugged me closer with her other hand, making me gasp when my body touched hers. I kissed back, closing my eyes and moving my lips against hers in perfect sync.

I probably could have kissed her all afternoon, but the sound of the door opening made us both jump apart, startled. It was just a servant who was coming in to clean up the room. When she saw us, she gave us a small smile before moving around the room carefully. My eyes fell to Wanda's excited ones, and I smiled at her before nodding to the dresses.

"We should sort this out before they wonder what's taking so long," I told her, moving to pack them.

She nodded, grabbing my hand and squeezing it gently before helping me. We packed the dresses in no time before joining our mums out on the patio where they were sat with our lunch. I tried to keep my eyes off Wanda as our mothers spoke to us about God knew what, but it was hard when all I wanted to do was kiss her over and over, telling her just how much I loved her.

"...nice to see you both getting along lately," Iryna was talking, and I only zoned back in when I realised she was looking at me.

I blinked. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Wanda stifled a smile as my mum gave me a disapproving look from across the table.

Iryna didn't seem to mind as she chuckled. "You and Pietro," she continued. "You both seemed very comfortable at the party last night."

I settled on a polite smile. "He's a gentleman. Very nice to be around, I guess."

Iryna smiled knowingly, exchanging glances with my mum before patting Wanda on the forearm, getting her attention. "How does that sound, dear? Your brother and Y/N together?"

I shook my head instantly, realising how she'd taken my words. "That's not what I meant."

Humming in response, Iryna continued to look to her daughter. "You may have to start sharing your new best friend with Pietro."

Remembering Wanda's jealousy last night, I spared her a glance of concern, hoping she wouldn't let this get to her. She was smiling, but her eyes were dimmed with dismay.

"Uh-huh," she played along with her mother's words, before using her fork to pick at her food.

As our mums began to talk about it, I found Wanda's hand under the table and laced my fingers in hers, hoping she'd know I only cared about one person and it was her. Though she didn't look up, her hand tightened around mine and she didn't let go.

The rest of the lunch went by as expected, though the more Iryna and my mother mentioned the wedding, the more Wanda and I grew uncomfortable. It was so much harder to hear about it when I knew my feelings were growing stronger for the brunette every day. By the end of the meal, my mother was happy to go back home and said I could stay to hang out with Wanda, which of course I did.

After bidding her a goodbye, I let Wanda drag me upstairs and to her bedroom, though the door closed when she spun around and pushed me against it, immediately kissing me. Before I could even question what was happening, she pulled away and looked at me through a half-lidded gaze.

"I don't want to share you with my brother, ever," she rasped out lowly, before licking her lips. "I don't want to share you with anyone."

She breathed out, her breath mingling with mine. Her hands rested on my waist before she reattached our lips, moving hers slower and more thoughtfully against mine.

I closed my eyes, grabbing her face and holding her gently, letting her slip her tongue between my lips and play with mine. Then she sucked on my lower lip, teeth nibbling gently at the sensitive skin, and made my insides go warm and fuzzy.

When she let go, she trailed kisses down my jaw and to my neck, having me at her mercy.

"Wanda," I moaned, hand moving to the back of her neck as I tried to regain some control of the situation, but the longer she sucked at the exposed skin, the more my knees wanted to buckle.

Already lowering my dress to my shoulders, her hand untied the back of it and I flushed at the contact of her fingers against me, not used to the feeling but also not opposed.

"Wanda, are you sure?" I asked between bated breaths, attempting to get her attention by tugging at her dress.

She pulled back, hand rising to my jaw and caressing it with her thumb as she looked between my eyes. Hers were dark, clouded with an arousal I hadn't seen before.

"I am," she said with certainty, before asking, "Are you?"

I swallowed hard, the warmth in my core growing hotter as she stared at me with lustful eyes and swollen lips. "Yes."

She gave me a slight smile before pressing her lips to mine again, allowing me to wrap my arms around her neck. I heard her lock the door behind me as I undid the top of her dress, struggling to do so without breaking contact from her. We moved to the bed clumsily, trying not to stumble over our discarded dresses, before I laid her down and straddled her.

Leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down her neck, I felt her fingers grip my waist, keeping ahold of my body on hers. I shivered as her nails scratched gently against the skin and grew warm when she lifted herself up gently to get more comfortable, her clothed centre rubbing against mine.

Taking a breath, I pulled away and hovered over her, revelling in the beauty that was Wanda Maximoff. Her cheeks were dusted pink as she opened her eyes, green eyes sparkling desperately as they flickered between mine.

"I love you," I told her softly, leaning on my elbow and caressing her forehead.

She smiled, nails trailing up my back and sending shivers down my spine. "Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu."

I tried not to laugh as I tilted my head with confusion. She smiled a little wider, hand reaching for the back of my bra.

"I love you, too," she translated in English, hint of amusement in her eyes, before she managed to undo the bra strap.

I rolled my eyes at her attempt of mockery before chasing down her lips once more. Everything about the woman before me was absolute perfection and I was glad I could finally share how I felt about her without having to hide it anymore.

The potential consequences of our actions was not my concern right now... all I cared about was treating her with the respect and care she deserved.

[euphoriic-dysphoria]

Blue hair - Bucky Barnes

Firs time posting something like this on Tumblr, I welcome constructive criticism, anything to make my writing better and easier to read. As long as you're not an ass about it.

Summary: you've wanted to dye your hair for sometime now, but you're too scared to do it all by yourself and it seems like a whole big thing now that you keep kinda wanna do with a friend. Yes I'm projecting😅😅

THERE MIGHT BE A PART TWO, NOT REALLY SURE YET.

Warnings ⚠️ : none, just extreme flustered bucky, whipped bucky, fluff ig yeah. Without further ado,

Bucky was falling for you. Hard. He fell more each and everyday, but somehow, you were either not into him at all, or painfully oblivious.

He said painfully, because everytime you expressed even the slightest discomfort, even if on the Quinjet you just couldn't fall asleep, bucky just had this inexplicable urge to suddenly bring you all the pillows in the world to make you happy and laugh and smile your beautiful smile.

Bucky wasn't stupid. He'd seen how smart you were on missions, and how fast you'd solved riddles to annoy Tony. You would never be oblivious to things like this. He'd long ago accepted that he was just gonna be a friend to you, of course that didn't stop him from daydreaming about you, or freezing up everytime you brushed your arm with his.

After all, some might assume what with bucky falling head over heels for you (literally, but that's a story for another time, including Sam and being at the beach) that you guys were probably best friends or at least pretty close. Nope. Bucky was embarrassed to say that you stole away all his old fashioned Brooklyn charm the minute you were in a 2 meter radius. He was so nervous he stumbled over his words and opted to just stay quiet and enjoy your presence.

Of course, you thought that bucky was just naturally shy, and well- akward. It never occurred to you that you were the cause of that shyness, but you didn't mind. You found it endearing and utterly adorable the way a pale pink would wash over his features, and brush across his nose.

Today, he was utterly relaxed, pink free, in his room in the Avengers tower, reading and trying to get the thought of you out of his mind. That was hard when abruptly a hard knock sounded at his door, and he was just about to turn around and ignore it, when he heard you mumbling and thinking outside. Supersoldierhearing

Closing his book, he straightened up and furrowed his brow, thinking as to why you'd be outside his room. He hoped everything was alright.

"buckkyyyyyyyy! Woa-hiya, how are YOU on this verrrry fine morning?" You stumbled into his room, bucky was so deep into his thoughts he wasn't aware he opened the door so suddenly, you almost fell in.

A whirlwind of chaotic energy, you recovered quickly and jumped about, before turning back to where bucky was frozen at his door.

You were only wearing a T shirt.

Now, it was 7 in the morning, and most of the avengers were well aware that you walked around in a t-shirt in the mornings, well, only Steve and Nat cause they were the only ones that woke up then. Normally, bucky wakes up earlier to do his run, and so by the time you wake up, he's showered and reading in his room.

Shaking his head a bit to uh, clear up his thoughts, he quietly trudged back to his bed, where you were sitting and excitedly bouncing up and down on.

You gave him a good morning half hug, as you were practically buzzing with energy.

Oh. That alone was more that enough to make Bucky's cheeks start to glow a dusty pink.

However, you were already setting up the boxes of hair dye on his night stand.

"ok. Alright buck, are you ready for maybe the most important decision of your lifetime?? Ahem-" Buckys eyes widened as you did a little drumroll, jiggling your thighs and bringing up your shirt a bit, but you were too absorbed in the boxes you didn't even notice.

In your best announcer voice, you looked at him and grinned. "Blue, or red?" Holding up each colour respectively.

Huh? Bucky was so focused on your smile he practically missed what you said, which would've been hella embarrassing.

"uh- I'm not- where is this coming from?" Bucky almost winced at his voice, coming out hoarse and deep.

With an angelic smile on your face a devil would fall for, you patiently explained the hair dye situation. You wanted to dye your hair. Check. You already bought the hair dye. Check. And last but not least, now you were waiting on one of your friends to reply to you about dying their hair too. This wasn't a demanding act, for you only hit up the people you knew also had wanted to dye their hair too.

"i-i uh whyreyaaskingme?" Oh god. Before Bucky had anytime to mentally smAcK himself for mumbling like that, you were already replying.

With a soft smile you said, "well of course I'm asking you buck, I don't think it's very nice to knock on people's doors at 7 in the morning unless they're awake, and Nat and Steve left together to get coffee. Plus, I trust your opinion, I'm sure you have an excellent sense of style." You teased, reminding him of the time he refused to wear a ridiculous suit that Tony had jokingly, not really, designed.

Buck sighed quietly, as you made your way to the bathroom to compare the colours. Ouch. It was never a nice feeling to know you had come to him out of necessity. Little did he know, you had earlier rushed Nat and Steve straight outta here, in attempts to build a closer bond with bucky. Those two just shared a smug little knowing look, before hightailing it right out of the tower.

Lost in his thoughts, bucky didn't realize you had stopped muttering to yourself about the hair colours.

It was quiet. Too quiet. In the bathroom, there was absolutely no sound.

Bucky frowned, making his way over, and knocked on the door.

"can-uh do you mind if I come in?" Bucky knocked.

The door creaked open, and Bucky peeked inside to find your dejected expression and little pouty lips as you sat on the edge of the sink counter, scrolling through your phone.

"hey- wh-whats wrong doll?" Aw jeez. Cut it out, he said firmly in his head. Stop stuttering, just talk to her like a normal person.

"you- wanna tell me why you're looking like a sad puppy down over here?" Bucky's breath hitches as he's in the middle of berating himself for comparing you to a puppy, when you finally look up and meet his eyes, droplets threatening to leak and break past your waterline.

Bucky's heart just about cracks at the sadness radiating off of you. As far as he knows, you of all people should never have to feel this sad. All nervousness forgotten, he quickly bends down and tilts your chin up, tenderly wiping away the tears that have now started their journey down your cheeks.

It's been 5 minutes of you and him, leaning against each other as he wipes away the quiet tears that keep replacing each other.

Finally, in a quiet voice, you explain. At first it was just the dissapointment of no one wanting to really dye their hair with you. But you understood. Really, it was early in the morning, and it was easy to see why people didn't wanna dye their hair right away, or at all even. You completely and totally respected them and their choices. But then, you thought, maybe they're annoyed at me. Maybe, they don't like me anymore. Maybe they wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe they'd be better off without me.

You were well aware you were spiralling, but after the negative thoughts started, it was hard to stop. You had anxiety of these types of things.

Countless times, Nat and Wanda had had to reassure your wanted presence and that the team did love you.

While you were explaining, Buckys arms slowly snaked around to embrace you, and put his chin on top of you head. He was sad, simply because you were.

But listening to your thought process made him realize that you were human too, and it opened his eyes to listen to your anxiousness, no matter how much it still hurt.

Uh oh. The feeling was coming back, tugging at bucky, eating him away, making him want to do anything to make you happier.

Tightening his arms around you one last time before releasing you, he blurted, "uh- I'll dye m-my hair."

Your eyes widened. A small smile slowly creeped onto your tear streaked face. "Yo-you'd do that f-for me?" You hiccuped.

Holy shit. Oh man. Bucky would've tattooed his face if it gave you that little glowing smile and hopeful face you were giving to him now.

"Oh doll. You wouldn't believe what I'd do for you."

PART TWO IS NOW UP

[leviiattacks]

Two Faced | Chapter Ten

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it’s all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared, for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au ??? (at this point idek) angst, fluff, slice of life etc ?? word count :: 4k author note :: haha.... wowww it's been long since i last updated. honestly my physical and mental health have just been horrible... that's about it, i lost a lot of motivation but if you're still reading i am very thankful and i will try to deliver the story well. i tried my best but writing whilst sick is very tiresome :-) tags :: @patience-is-here​ , @chwlogy​ , @a--nonymousse​ , @imkumichan​ 

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Keeping yourself cooped up within Levi's estate and never daring to step a foot outside should have been what you had done. Blackmailing him to keep you confined within the walls of your bedroom would be much better compared to the problem you have to resolve now. Perhaps if you had done so you wouldn't have collided face first into this muddle.

Jean fiddles with the ends of his button up, he doesn't take the chance to glance up at any of his superiors. He's either much too embarrassed or has nothing noteworthy to start off with.

Erwin chooses to call the shots seeing as neither you or the Viscount by your side wish to begin.

"You both understand why we're here. Correct me if I'm wrong?" The Commander looks between you, Jean and your unfortunate excuse of a husband. Suddenly it looks as if the gears and cogs in Jean's brain move without warning.

Offering a demure nod you expect for him to follow in your footsteps and do the same only he stands there looking between you and Levi.

"Wait...The two of you are? A couple?" Stunned isn't the word, Jean's completely flabbergasted.

"If you figured that out this late, I do not understand why Erwin sees you remotely fit for my team." Levi's beyond insulted at the fact he's only just understood the situation.

Jean, now more intimidated than ever before straightens his back and coughs clumsily, "Sorry." He murmurs chestnut eyes making contact with the hardwood floors.

The Commander's laced hands sit atop his desk, elegant fingers moving similar to honey on a spoon. He sighs not out of fatigue but pride. Whatever plan he's come up with has to be decent at the very least, his body language is telling you that much.

"We have a number of possibilities we can choose from. We owe that pleasure to Mr Kirstein here." Erwin offers him an almost cynical smile, you can't help but gulp thinking about how this is essentially your fault. With all the constant training sessions and team building tasks it makes sense for Jean to have completely forgot about your unspoken rule. Solely blaming him is incorrect.

Raising your arm above your head to intervene you make it known that you're aware of Levi shooting you a look of warning by returning it. It's best he knows you don't care for anyone's opinion let alone his.

"Permission to speak Commander?"

Your request is agreed to immediately with the wave of  Erwin's hand.

"It's my fault for not reminding Jean. I'll take the blame, I hadn't even told him the full story concerning me and Levi."

Levi doesn't enjoy your defense in the slightest. "I don't expect my wife to fling herself at other men and allow for them to snoop around gathering the details of our personal lives."

Scoffing you shield yourself with your arms over your chest.

"Oh dear husband. If you want to get personal do tell me where my family is?" It's an inside joke only Levi will be able to understand.

"If you call those people family your standards are disgustingly low."

"Maybe that explains why I settled for you."

Again, other's opinions are not at the forefront of your priority list. Regardless it's quite enjoyable pushing Levi further into a corner with that sentence. You see the internal struggle play out within him. Jaw clenched, hands balled together. He doesn't have an appropriate response

Jean bursts out unable to hold it in any longer, chest trembling with every quake of laughter that ripples through him you have to shove him with your elbow. For a Viscount his etiquette sure is nonexistent.

"My word, the two of you sound like..."

Levi stares at him most probably expecting something along the lines of "An old married couple."

But, no. It's nothing anyone in the room expects. That includes you.

"It's as if you're unhappy with each other..."

Not a noise is made after that. Jean isn't mistaken, your heart is miserable. You've never had many relationships to begin with, whether it be familial, romantic or platonic and for someone such as your husband to treat you the way he does - it feels futile having to navigate around the complexities. Even if he isn't really your husband it's disappointing to reflect on your marriage so suddenly.

Feeling your face droop a little you bite your bottom lip with your teeth. Hearing the truth from someone you barely expect to hear it from has an effect on you.

You're so caught up analyzing everything it takes you a minute to even register Levi grumbling and lunging forward pilfering the collar of Jean's shirt.

"Every day you prove to be more and more pathetic than I expect." Levi turns to look at you after that. His stare bores into you but he doesn't come off threatening, you assume his last remark is directed solely at Jean.

When he turns back only glaring at Jean now with even more tenacity than before. He's ready to snap but Erwin has clearly had enough of the unwanted altercation in his office.

"Enough. The both of you. This is most bothersome." At the Commander's orders Levi is silenced although it takes all of his resolve to do so.

Finally bothering you take a good look at Jean. He's calm in an incredibly out of character way.

Is this not the man who trembled in his boots the first time he and Levi came into contact? It's almost as if he seems pleased with himself for drawing out such a reaction from his Captain.

Erwin shuffles through stacks of paperwork on his desk. The man needs an assistant at this point. You doubt you could find anything in that haphazard pile. Edges of crumpled paper poke out uncomfortably and Erwin becomes increasingly annoyed when he can't locate what it is he's looking for.

Just as you're about to ask if he requires any assistance it seems he's found what he's been looking for, that's if his eyes are any indication of the relief he feels.

"This." He holds up the paper, all eyes in the room are trained on it. "Under normal circumstances would not have to become an option."

"But these aren't normal circumstances?" Jean's thoughtless question is irksome when the answer is so obviously staring him down in the face.

Nonetheless Erwin nods incapable of losing his cool over something so minor.

"Sign to confirm to my proposition."

The document he places onto the desk isn't what you imagine, you can practically feel the dread climb up your throat once you're done scanning it. Jean's full name placed right next to yours in bold lettering has your stomach lurching. You don't have to read the rest to understand the new circumstances you've landed into.

To make matters worse Erwin places two rings down right in front of the both of you.

A pot of boiling hot water is what you've been thrown in.

Are you supposed to be some sort of replacement for potatoes? What's Jean in this scenario? Carrots?

"It is troublesome to have the two of you put on an act to be involved with one another but I see it as our safest option." Erwin notices your parted lips and slacked jaw. "You need not worry this isn't a marriage contract, you're simply acting."

There's no path out of this pot, you and Jean will simply have to deal with the prospect of being boiled alive.

Ah, you forgot to mention who would act as the hot water but you're sure the suspect is obvious.

Even right now Levi's fury radiates off of him, it's unclear if he was given the details of the Commander's plan beforehand but if his furrowed brow and pursed lips are indicators of the truth he must have had no idea.

Your suspicions are confirmed to be correct once Levi reaches forward plucking the paper away, it just so happens he's snatched it away the very moment Jean leans in to get a closer look at it.

"I was never informed of this."

Erwin gives him a guarded smile. "Do you have any jurisdiction over what I think is best?" Is his freezing reply.

"Yes. When it concerns my wife and another man - Correction. I meant boy."

Jean's taken aback by the subtle jab and shamefacedly shoves his hands into his pockets.

You watch the scene go down with a perplexed look the entire time. Levi's frustration seems to be legitimate yet he has no logical reason for it to ever be present in the first place. Unless he has a plan which outperforms the one you've just been given he's doing this all for nothing.

"I assure you your wife is in safe hands so long as you stop interfering."

Levi's about to bark back until he catches your confusion. He's become aware of your tilted head and telling expression and only then does he silence himself permanently not before sighing deeply, muttering an expletive under his breath.

 "I’ll sign it.” That seems to be Jean’s indirect way of asking what your choice will be.

“I... will too.” Is your hesitant reply.

Levi only becomes avoidant after that. Half way through Erwin explaining how you and Jean have to look believable Levi just ups and leaves without a word. Perhaps you've hurt his pride but for what he's done to you it's a small price to pay and so you do nothing to make amends. He has no reason to feel uncomfortable, you aren't really his wife, you're essentially strangers. Does he even know your favourite colour? Your favourite food? Your favourite pastime?  

You doubt he does.

Jean and you are rather successful with your act. It feels pleasant having him brush your hair out of your face occasionally or lovingly place a hand on your forehead to check if you've come down with a fever. He laces his fingers with yours when others are around and when they aren't he lets the act go. It's satisfying having a cooperative partner.

Naturally Jean is still a tease, even now he makes the odd suggestive comment or two in passing but you can't say you hate it. In fact it excites you to think of a response that borders the edge of teasing and simple fun between friends.

The increasing openness between the two of you is enough for the cadets to deduce that he's most probably the noble man you wed in secrecy.

It's only been a few days since yours and Jean's newfound behaviour, thankfully you haven't been flooded with questions just yet. The higher ups sit nearby during breakfast, lunch and dinner keeping watch over the cadets. It leaves you able to eat and drink without having to handle the constant inquiring of your comrades.

However, you aren't as lucky today. A meeting's taking place and after yours and Jean's convincing act Erwin deems it safe enough to leave you unattended for a short while.

Of course it doesn't go according to plan because when you're involved when does anything ever go according to plan?

The cadets are flocked around your table at dinner as soon as they notice they've been left to their own devices. The opportunity to sit down without everyone invading your space is barely provided to you. Krista is sat to your right leaning into you rather animatedly, Annie has made herself at home sat across you which in itself is completely out of character and slightly unnerving, Annie never and you repeat never concerns herself with you.

"Why did you and Jean hide it?" Armin hovers over your shoulder as per usual. He can't be blamed for naturally being inquisitive and it does give you the opportunity to lay out the foundations of your plan. Now's your time to muster up one of your rehearsed responses.

"It would interfere with work." You respond immediately wanting to appear natural. Pondering on an answer for too long would raise suspicions.

Armin makes a sound of approval and shuffles into the seat next to Krista, that is until Ymir can be overheard telling him to move if he knows what's best for him.

"I have a question." Says a voice across the table, you don't have to look at the blonde parallel to you to know it's her.

For once Annie’s initiated a conversation with you, she’s not particularly great at keeping her intentions discreet. Maybe she doesn’t care if you can tell what she’s up to? But if that’s the case her plan isn’t all that foolproof, there's no way you're to let any details slip away.

Sharply inhaling waiting for what it is she has to say you find that her sentence never comes. Instead she shakes her head and murmurs a "Never mind.". You don't even have the time to ask her to stick around, she's already rose from her seat taking her unfinished plate of food with her, you let her go assuming she feels unwell.

"So how'd you two meet? Jean already told me earlier but I'd like to hear your side." Reiner's taken Annie's empty seat and his gaze is unwavering. The trap they've set up is a clever one. Surveying the hall for Bertholdt you know he has to be observing too. The two never operate alone.

You suddenly hate Reiner. For whatever reason he and his trio are endlessly obsessed with you, they've caught onto something that's for sure but you don't know what it is and now they've completely ensnared you with a backhanded trick. There's no way out of this, you have no idea what it is Jean said to Reiner, the chances of you providing the exact same answer are slim to none.

"My memory is really fuzzy, I don't think Jean gave off much of a first impression so I've forgot." Your horrible excuse doesn't fly by, everyone simultaneously narrows their eyes in disbelief. What you've said isn't convincing at all.

Husband and Wife yet you've forgot how the two of you met?

Fidgeting with the ring adorning your finger the cool metal isn't doing a great job at alleviating the pressure of the situation.

"Jean said the two of you hit it off almost instantly. Who's being dishonest?"

Reiner's either lying to catch you out or he's saying the God honest truth and right now all you can do is hope and pray for a miracle to sweep you off your feet. Mikasa and Jean still aren't within view. At this point you're hoping for Levi to save you, it doesn't matter how so long as you escape unscathed.

"Hey, I think we're just making her anxious with all the questions." Armin is quick to side with you, deep down you know he only does so due to the respect he holds for his Commander. You thank the Heaven's for Erwin's admirable smile and commendable leadership, it seems to be the only reason Armin believes you and Jean.

"Or she's lying." Reiner's resting his head in one of his palms, he's still boring holes right into your frame.

Your eye twitches, this is all unnecessary and uncalled for, whatever it is Reiner wants out of you it better be worthwhile.

He still eggs you on. "You walked out of the Captain's quarters. I saw you."

Standing up and leaning forward you plant your feet to the ground as firmly as you can you.

"And if she did what's it to you?"

Fighting the urge to sigh in relief you've never been happier to hear Jean's voice but something's off. His breathing sounds heavy - like he fought his way to get inside. Turning only then do you notice Mikasa standing by him. She looks equally as exhausted. There's been some sort of a struggle.

"You think it was funny getting Annie to guard the door?" He heaves and runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"And you think hiding secrets from the rest of us is any better?" Reiner's adamant there's information that the both of you are hiding, he's not wrong but that doesn't change that he's challenging you unprovoked without a reasonable motive.

"We're hiding nothing." Unlike you Jean is sure of his words, he's confident speaking up and he seems to be able to pull off the role of a protective husband perfectly.

“I came out of the Captain’s quarters because he had access to hot water. He said I could use his shower. That’s all it was.”

Reiner quirks an eyebrow upwards and is pleased with your answer. God you’ve said something incriminating haven’t you? It's not incriminating per se but it's without doubt malleable and easy to twist.

“Jean, you were okay with your wife doing that at the dead of night?” Reiner's still leading the interrogation.

“I was the one who suggested it.”

“I don’t believe you’re a couple." If it were Reiner who said that you wouldn't care much, after all it's pretty clear he never believed it but to your displeasure it isn't him who's spoken. Ymir's lopsided grin is all knowing and you're beginning to lose your footing in this argument any second now if any more people start to side against you.

If Ymir disagrees that almost certainly means Krista has her qualms about you too, you've observed beforehand that Ymir tends to speak for Krista on occasion. This happens to be one of those times.

Krista timidly raises her hand and Ymir gives her an approving nod encouraging her to speak.

"I don't like the conflict going on but it is suspicious..."

"Why have I only ever seen you two hold hands?" She asks.

Ymir slings her arm over Krista's shoulder affectionately. "Yeah, I tell Krista I'll marry her every day of the week."

Mikasa mumbles something unintelligible, Ymir gives her a look of warning but Mikasa doesn't seem to care. Instead she repeats what she has to say loud and clear.

"Stick to only speaking when Krista is involved."

Krista holds Ymir by her arm so she doesn't get up, she knows how she gets when she's been provoked. Even if Krista has her suspicions it isn't worth Ymir gaining a permanent penalty point on her record.

Thankfully Armin cuts in. "There's no solid evidence to show they're lying and even if they are the Commander's most probably told them to. Don't you think there's a reason? Leave it be if that's the case. I trust him with our lives."

"We have a right to know." Annie's returned and insists to keep this back and forth going.

Just as you're about to fire back Jean takes a hold of your waist, you look down and seeing his large hands planted securely around your frame has your stomach bubbling with anticipation.

"What are you— "

And then he kisses you, he doesn't ask and instinctively your arms move to whack his chest but you stop yourself in time. You realize it's for the sake of your plan not falling through and so you gently place your hands on his shoulders attempting to ground yourself. It becomes increasingly difficult when you sink deeper into the kiss than you'd like to admit. Blood rushes to the tips of your ears and the thumping of your heartbeat makes it difficult to articulate any thoughts, all you really know is that you like this, whatever this is.

Jean's hands don't feel like they were made to rest against your back, they feel slightly out of place as if he's a key and you're an unmatched lock. In spite of that the circles he comfortingly rubs into the sides of your waist are appreciated, you almost forget you're in a room full of people until you're flooded by cold air.

You've been dragged off of Jean and something in the pit of your stomach has you wishing Levi isn't responsible for the interruption.

To your relief it's just Hange, they're glowing in mischief, the grin on their face shows they aren't mad. They might even find this entertaining.

"Well I be damned... maybe they weren't bluffing?" Connie's been persuaded by the looks of it and Krista's busy whispering to Ymir, you hear the faint sound of the word "Romantic" escape her lips, she's equally as convinced as Connie.

Hange smacks your back light-heartedly and looks to the door for a second. "We leave ya' both for a while and you decide to give everyone a show?"

Erwin's stood by the doorway with a humorous smile playing at his lips, Levi however is anything but amused, he glares at you with murderous eyes, he looks like he's ready to end your life then and there but you know he won't dare do so and for a second you feel braver than you ever have before. Without much thought you grab onto Jean's forearm.

"Me and my husband will get going now!" You allow your gaze to loiter when you get to Reiner. He grunts an apology and you're oh so tempted to ask him to repeat himself but you'd rather not instigate anything.

With that said and done you and Jean leave after giving the performance of your lives.

Slowly but gradually the sky outside becomes dark.

The will to sleep left your body long ago. It's by pure luck that you even manage to catch three hours of rest. Training is the only available distraction and dying out in battle isn't favourable by any means, your boredom may as well be used resourcefully - Strapping yourself up in your ODM gear is the best option.

A quarter way through your warm up you can sense a presence behind you, the leaves rustle and the wind feels noticeably quieter. You'd bother to turn around to see who's intruded but Levi's snuck close enough for you to be able to smell his perfume from where you're stood.

"Feel disrespected? Embarrassed even?" You jab at him knowing it'll rile him up, you don't face him not wanting to give him the pleasure of seeing your face.

"Watch your mouth." he warns sharply.

Rolling your eyes you go about your business, it stays that way for a few minutes. All the while Levi stares at you darting from tree to tree, his scrutinizing gaze scalding you repeatedly.

"Y/N!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

For some unknown reason you automatically stop and lower yourself to the ground

"I have something to tell you." Comes his tense follow up. A finger of his latches onto one of the leather straps on your back.

You can't believe he's still denying the undeniable.

"You can wait till tomorrow. I'll be going to bed."

Levi doesn't seem to care for your cold response and proceeds with no warning.

"I'm jealous." His voice shakes. The grip he has on your harness doesn't let up. With your back turned to him you're still somehow able to detect the very obvious crack of pain.

Levi, jealous?

Gritting your teeth together you feel deceived.

How much longer will you have to tolerate Levi's push and pull?

“May I ask, what he is to you, my love?”

Your breathing grows heavy, tensing up you're completely shocked by the term of endearment that falls from his lips. You haven't heard it for so long, Levi sounds eerily different.

You hate to admit it but a flicker of foolish hope lights in your chest.

"Levi why would you ask— "

"Why don't you call me Lev anymore?" He whispers sounding strangled. You can't take it anymore and hesitantly look his way.

His eyes are filled with tears "I'm sorry my love, I don't know what went wrong." you falter for a second not knowing what to think.

At that moment the flicker becomes a flame.

The man who stands right before you is meant to be dead, never to be seen again. By all accounts this should be impossible, but Lev has always been a fighter.

Bitterness stings your heart, the wounds you've collected are still fresh but despite your body's protests you don't flinch when he gently takes a hold of your wrist, bringing it closer to his mouth.

"Lev...? Is that really you...?" You ask desperately.

The warm kiss he presses against your pulse point provides you with the answer you've been longing for.

[btsarmyline]

Hi! I am new here on the fandom, and Jungkook is my bias, I really love him hehe. I just want to say that I am glad that someone who is Jungkook-biased openly shows their support, thoughts and opinions about Jungkook because the usual post I see here on Tumblr about Jungkook is just pictures or gifs of him which is I'm so grateful for but at the same time, I felt sad because I want to know the opinion of the fans on BTS, especially when it's about Jungkook because even on Twitter/YouTube comments it's rare for me to see fans who give their opinions about Jungkook or just talks and appreciate how good, talented, professional he is, how strong his mentality is, how aware he is of what's going on around him and himself, above all how independent and selfless he is. And even if I want to post all of it by myself, I can't, because I'm not that articulate, courageous, and confident enough to express my feelings or thoughts thus I really feel sorry and bad for Jungkook when everytime I see a post that talks so little of him, I can't defend him🥺 So, I am happy and thankful to find your blog, but please don't be pressured to post your thoughts, I mean take your time hehe .. I've only read a little of your opinions on him but please know that I already love and appreciate it all so much, fr.

P.S. I am introvert and shy so I just send this to you anonymously hehe. Also, please understand if I will not interact that much or say and share comments whether I agree or not into it on your upcoming posts but please remember that I will always take time to read it, so don't feel bad and thinks no one is listening to your thoughts hehe. Just post and share your thought whenever you want to, fighting!!! 😚🤟

P.P.S. Sorry, English is not my native language😅

Hiii! Aaaw thank you so much for the sweet message, it made me so happy 🥺🥺! Really, it means a lot, knowing that someone actually reads my weird stuff and care about it.. It's so kind of you! I can't believe you would take your time and write something so sweet to me... Jungkook means a lot to be, so getting messages like this just warms my heart so much.

You are a baby ARMY? Welcome to the family 🥺💜💜!!! Feel free to ask anything! And of course it's okay to be anonymous!!

Btw, English isn't my native language either, and you write WAY better than me, so no worries 😅! And I'm an introvert too ^^!!

If you are interested I have a tag where I put all those thoughts about Jungkook. Well... a lot of it is just me being very whipped for him 😅😅😅 It's kinda embarrassing sometimes. But some of it is analysis and thoughts about him, like what I think you might be looking for.

Twitter is surely the main place to be as an ARMY if you want to know what is going on. You can find me on Twitter here (my old profile got suspended so this is a new one 😭), and maybe see who I follow and get inspired? I follow OT7 news and translators, and then a lot of Jungkook focused profiles! They share their opinions and thoughts on Jungkook, and surely appreciates his many talents and his amazing personality 🥰!

Again thank you for writing and thank you for reading 💜

[virgojeons]

true love (jjk)

summary: you and jungkook spend your first christmas together. 

alternatively, a merry love story based on the lyrics of true love by ariana grande.

genre: fluff, humor, college au, established relationship, holiday series, jeon jungkook x reader

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing, implied sexual content, excessive use of pet names

wattpad version here, ao3 version here

a/n: well, here i am!! pls be gentle with me, this is the first time ive ever posted my writing on here and ive been debating it for months lmao. i truly truly hope u enjoy!!

on the first day of christmas when you gave me all them kisses, boy you showed me things, come hold me please and never let me go.

"Five days until Christmas and you're still decorating the tree?"

You yelped at the sudden sound of your boyfriend's voice, dropping your over-accessorized ornament and watching helplessly as it shattered against the floor.

Immediately, you whined. "Jungkook!"

Jungkook suppressed a grin at the furrow of your eyebrows and the pout of your lips, kicking his shoes off and tossing his coat onto the couch. He didn't mean to scare you, really. You even knew he was coming over. It's just that you left the front door unlocked (as you always did when he was on his way, despite him constantly scolding you for it) and there was no way you would've heard him come in over the sound of Jingle Bell Rock blaring through the house.

"Sorry, baby," He chuckled, bending down beside you to help pick up the remnants of your best ornament. "I didn't mean to scare you."

You glared at him in between collecting the shards of glass in your hand. "I spent hours making that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Hot glue gun burns, sparkles stuck on my face and everything."

Jungkook took the pieces of glass from you with an amused look on his face, standing from his kneeling position to toss them in the trash can you had earlier moved to the living room for easy access. "I'm sorry. I'll make you another one."

"It's not the same." You sulked, finding fun in being stubborn and giving him a hard time. It was getting increasingly difficult though, with his rosy nose and ears and that little gleam in his eyes.

It was then that he made his first move of the night, tugging you by your oversized Rudolph sweater so quickly that you had to latch onto his shoulders for leverage with a squeal. His grin only seemed to grow once you were officially in his space, taking notice of your lack of pants and the snowflake stockings that appeared to be in their place instead.

"You don't look too sorry," You chuckled, heart stuttering at the way he was gazing down at you in such close proximity.

Jungkook shrugged, nudging his nose with yours. "I'm just happy."

They were such simple words, but it was the way he said them, the way he looked at you when he said them. You couldn’t lie, the excitement of spending your first Christmas together, completely alone, was incredibly infectious. It was gross and it was corny and everything else you swore you would never be, but you were in love with Jungkook. Devastatingly so. You from nine months ago probably wouldn’t even recognize the present you; a fact that friends, family, and even Jungkook alike loved to tease you about. Cracking the so-called ice queen was a feat to be celebrated, apparently. Whatever. He was yours and you were his so you didn’t quite care about the technicalities of it. Even if the story went a bit differently, in your opinion. 

The brutal snow and temperatures of February were beginning to fade into spring when you met Jungkook. 

You and Jimin had been attempting to finish your economics homework together in your favorite coffee shop; a hidden treasure that was a ten minute walk from campus and ticked all your aesthetic boxes. You two were sipping from your respective hot drinks, neglecting your heaps of bookwork in favor of discussing the new season of Stranger Things. Jimin was deep into his theory of Hopper still being alive when his eyes flickered to the door at the sound of the bell, widening slightly in recognition before a bright smile took over his face.

"Jungkook!" Jimin called, waving whoever it was over.

You followed his gaze and turned your head in the direction of the entrance, growing curious when the boy walking towards your table wasn't familiar to you. It took you less than five seconds to realize that the boy in question was attractive. 

Like, extremely attractive. The kind of attractive that should not be subjected to the way you look right now. 

It took you even less time to whip your head back around, glaring at Jimin with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

He met your glare with a confused scrunch of his eyebrows before it slowly transformed into a smirk, quickly catching on to what your pointed look was for. The night before had been a late one. You, like any other normal millennial, had impulse bought a pretty yellow Nintendo Switch solely for the new Animal Crossing game. As soon as it arrived on your doorstep you were retreating into your room, tearing the package open with squeals of excitement.

Maybe you completely lost track of time and played until your eyes were bloodshot and you heard birds chirping outside. Maybe you got an astounding two hours of sleep. And maybe you had fallen asleep without setting an alarm and woke up thirty minutes later than usual. 

The details were insignificant though, because you were throwing on a pair of leggings and the first sweatshirt you saw, brushing your hair and your teeth, and hastily sprinting to your car all in record time.

No sleep. No makeup. No breakfast. And worst of all, no coffee.

And so, it was blatantly clear you had no desire to let a boy that beautiful even glance at you in that state, let alone introduce himself. But it didn't look like you had a choice in the matter, because moments later he was towering over your table with a stupidly handsome smile.

Jungkook grinned, reaching out to do that Weird Bro Handshake with Jimin. "Hey, Chim."

You were already plotting various methods of painful revenge in your head.

"Hey, Kook. What are you doing here?"

"I kind of work here," He chuckled. "Well, as of like, yesterday. Today's my first day."

"Oh, so this is the new job you were telling me about," Jimin nodded in realization, then his eyes flickered mischievously to yours. You’re rapidly shaking your head. "You know, this is my friend ___'s favorite coffee spot."

A scowl immediately takes over your face, only to be wiped off and replaced by a sickeningly sweet smile when Jungkook turns his head to look your way. The instant your eyes meet his you quite literally want to melt into the floor. 

Jungkook smiles at you. Like, really smiles. "Hey, that's cool. We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other then, right?"

Across the table, Jimin snorts, which only adds to the way your cheeks are absolutely flaming. You send a harsh kick to Jimin's leg as inconspicuously as you can, all while batting your eyelashes at Jungkook.

"Uh, yeah! We probably... will."

Jungkook looks positively amused, but if he notices Jimin rushing to clutch his leg, he doesn't say anything.

"Sweet," He grins again. There's a brief few seconds where you two are just gazing at each other, stupid and shy, until Jimin loudly clears his throat. "Right, well, I should probably go clock in. Let's chill sometime this week, Chim."

"Sure thing." Jimin sings, smugness plastered all over his face.

Jungkook waves, already backing away from the table with his eyes on you. "Nice meeting you."

You feel yourself flush again and you absolutely hate it. "Nice meeting you too."

With a final smile, Jungkook disappears behind the employee doors. The moment he leaves your eyes are screwed shut and you're slamming your head against the table. The silence speaks for itself. You don't even need to see Jimin's face to know that he's either smirking or stifling his laughter.

"Don't." You warn.

"You just blushed," He says anyway. "Like, four times."

"I most definitely did not blush."

"You did. You still are."

"I'm embarrassed!" You wail. "That's literally the only reason why. I look like I got ran over and dragged for three blocks."

"Jungkook sure doesn't seem to think so," Jimin hums, snickering as he sips his coffee.

"Stop."

"He likes you." He insists.

"He was just being polite." You defend.

"That is literally my childhood best friend. I think I would know."

This makes you pause. Then you sigh. "He doesn't even know me."

He doesn’t disagree. But then again, "Not yet."

"Stop trying to play matchmaker, Jimin. He said five words to me," You spoke firmly, exasperated as you downed the final sip of your latte. "Plus, I'm just focusing on me and my degree right now. No distractions."

Jimin knew that you were already worn out, and even though he was mostly joking around, he wouldn’t want to push you any further. He’d drop it.

"Fine. We'll see who's right in the end, though."

For now.

"I will dump that hot coffee over your head."

As it turns out, Jimin was kind of right.

It takes a grand total of four visits to your favorite coffee shop before Jungkook asks you out. The first time you were by yourself, nose buried in a book as Jungkook was clocking in. He wasn't able to speak to you until about an hour later, when the morning rush had passed and you had finally lifted your head from whatever was in that book. 

You were honestly dreading facing him again, but you were prepared and actually presentable this time. Also you were kind of starving. And so, you hesitantly approached the counter. Jungkook took your order, both of you all fidgeting hands and sheepish smiles. You mentally patted yourself on the back when you spoke without any real mess-ups, and prayed that the cool girl aura you always tried so desperately to maintain was being transmitted. 

Not like you were trying to leave a lasting impression, or anything.

He hand delivered you your coffee and muffin with a beaming grin, all while his new boss glared at him from behind the counter. He didn't have to know that you knew cashiers weren't supposed to serve the food.

The second visit was a few days after. You were with Jimin again, shooting down every jab he made about you only wearing a pretty dress because you knew you would be coming here. Jungkook joined you both during his break. As soon as he untied his apron and sat himself directly across from you, it struck. You knew you were screwed. You just couldn't stop staring at him. The chin in the palm of your hands and sparkles in your eyes type of staring. You would be much more ashamed if you couldn’t see the way he was staring right back. Jimin found this hilarious, of course, and would subtly find ways to connect you two in conversation. You weren't sure if you loved or hated him for it.

It was that visit that Jungkook insisted on sharing his slice of strawberry cake with you, claiming he wasn't that hungry. The both of you were embarrassed, whacking his arm and dismissing him as Jimin complained about being the third wheel. By the end of his break, Jungkook was positively smitten, you were begrudgingly infatuated, and Jimin was awfully smug. He reluctantly said bye to you both, and you were slouching forward with your head in your hands the moment he disappeared from visibility.

Jimin looked extremely pleased. "Believe me now?"

"Focusing on school," You protested. It was a weak one, but. Well.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" He mused.

And suddenly, you were frantic. Panicking. This was definitely not a part of the plan.

Quickly packing up your things, you groaned loudly. "You. Maybe me. Or both. I can't think in this place anymore."

"You'll be all over each other by next week."

"Shh!" You were childishly covering your ears and speed-walking out of the café.

Try as you might, you couldn't help yourself and returned the very next day after all your classes had finished. Jungkook was already there when you walked in, taking a customer's order but doing a double take and flashing you a smile when you appeared in his line of sight. This visit consisted of nothing but pretending.

Pretending to be studying. Pretending you weren't listening to him take orders just to hear his voice. Pretending you weren't sneaking glances at him. Pretending that the way your eyes kept meeting wasn't making your skin prickle. And you were just fine pretending, until suddenly he was in the seat across from with you his apron off and a steaming hot chocolate in hand. You tried your hardest to remain indifferent, you really did. But then he was pushing the beverage towards you with gentle eyes and his smile hopeful, telling you it was his treat because he noticed how hard you were studying. And then you were melting right along with the marshmallows in that mug.

The two of you talked about your majors, your families, your favorite shows, even Jimin. You asked about his tattoos and he explained them with ease. You also may have pulled out one of the oldest tricks in the book at the sight of his knuckle tattoos, gasping in feigned wonder when you pulled his hand against yours to measure the size difference. 

His hand could swallow yours whole and still have some leftover, you discovered. It was a very rewarding experiment.

You made each other laugh and blush down to the very last second of his break. Scarily enough, being in each other's presence was so annoyingly addictive that you found yourself hesitant to watch him leave. You could tell Jungkook felt the same by the way he dragged out his goodbyes. I work again on Thursday, maybe I'll see you then? Your fingers brushed as he softly took the mug from you. It was really fun talking to you. You were biting your lip to keep from smiling embarrassingly big. You look really pretty today, by the way. And then he was off.

You made a strangled noise the second you were outside with your fingers frantically beginning to type a message to Jimin.

promise not to say i told you so :///

Jungkook asked you out on your fourth visit. As soon as you approached the counter, he just blurted it out. As if it was something he couldn't hold on his tongue any longer. You couldn't hear yourself say yes over your brain malfunctioning and the powerful thumping of your heart, but you knew you did. His heartbreakingly gorgeous grin told you so.

On his break, Jungkook brought you a latte with a heart carved in the cream. You just couldn't conceal the coo that escaped you, which quickly resulted in his cheeks reddening. 

Cute, you thought. 

He quizzed you on your personality and the type of activities you liked to do, admitting that he would use the information to conjure up the best date you would ever go on. Six days later, Jungkook stayed true to his word. Not only was it the best date you had ever been on, but you were completely certain it would ruin any other dates for you moving forward, unless they were with him. Much to your annoyance and also utter delight, you were so sure of Jeon Jungkook and your brief but striking time together that you kissed him. Right on the swings of your favorite childhood playground, first date rules tossed aside.

He was so caught off guard that his eyes expanded to twice their normal size and your teeth banged together. You drew back, slightly mortified and ready to jump to your death from the tallest slide on the playground, but Jungkook was huffing a laugh onto your lips and grabbing your face like it was nothing. Then you two got it just right, and something clicked. The earth fell off its axis and you were rendered breathless and all that nauseating cliché shit you chastised as a myth. And from that day forward, you two were completely, tooth-rottingly, inseparable.

"Easy," Jungkook proclaimed, pecking your lips. "We finished the tree."

He set you back on the floor gently, releasing a dramatic breath of air as if lifting you to place the star on top of the tree had actually winded him. As if he wasn't a muscle pig. You rolled your eyes and told him as much.

"Don't be a baby, muscle pig," You shoved at his bicep, only proving your point further when he didn't move an inch. ‘And I finished the tree.”

Instead, he caught the hand that you nudged him with and pulled your back to his chest, caging you between his arms. "Muscle pig, huh? That's what you think of me, baby?"

You flushed at the teasing lilt in his voice, suddenly very eager to escape his hold. But try as you might, he just wouldn't budge. A loud laugh left your throat as you flailed in his grasp, his muscled arms bulging in the turtleneck you bought him for his birthday a few months ago. Suddenly, you decided that you would be returning it for your own personal peace.

A high pitched whine left your mouth, one that lost all its seriousness once it was drowned out by your giggles. "Jungkook, let go of me!"

You would just not stop wiggling, and Jungkook could not stop laughing. He could live the rest of his life like this, his brain pauses to think. He's so happy.

And when you're thrashing so violently that your heel kicks his pocket with a force that has an object clattering onto the floor, Jungkook has never reacted faster in his life. Instantly your imprisonment is gone, and Jungkook is on your floor in a flash. Your eyebrows draw together at the sight of him scrambling for whatever it is, and all you're able to see is a sleek black case before he's quickly stuffing it back in his pocket.

You're eyeing him when he rises back on his feet. "Feel like sharing?"

Jungkook whistles noncommittally. "Not particularly, no."

There's a drawn-out beat of silence where you're just gazing at each other, neither one of you backing down. And then you're crossing your arms, and he's looking at your nose and your forehead and anywhere but your eyes, and then you're arching an eyebrow. He looks at you and breaks. Defeat.

"It's your present," He lets out a heavy sigh. "Well, the main one anyway."

You positively squeal. "Ooh! Can I see? Please?"

"Baby, it's the 20th."

"Can I have a hint?"

Jungkook blinks. "No, you cannot have a hint."

You're instantly pouting, but Jungkook expects that, because he knows you better than anyone else. Which is why he knows that you're a little spoiled, with a bit of a bratty streak, with just a dash of calculated charm that you use to your advantage to get just about anything you want. He's never seen it as a bad thing. In fact, he finds it cute. A little hot, too, if he's being truthful.

Anyway, he came prepared. Just as you're opening your mouth to no doubt make him spill the surprise, he's hushing you with a bruising kiss to your lips. The kind of kiss that makes you go pliant against him, the kind that makes you make a little noise in the back of your throat. The kind you've been waiting for all night. 

It’s the trick that never truly runs its course. 

And Jungkook is melting, too. Melting, turning to mush at your very feet, until you're moving backwards and clutching at his shoulders, ready to push him onto the couch.

"Mmm," He's humming against you, before he reluctantly draws back. He lets you chase his lips once, twice, before he chuckles lowly. "Hold on, angel."

You're suddenly feeling warm all over after his kisses, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into him into the couch and feel him next to you. Or maybe above you. With that chain you always tugged on dangling in your face. You really weren't picky.

You watched Jungkook break away from you and rummage through his bag with a frown and a newfound heat at the pit of your belly. "It can't wait?"

Like he said, he knows you, which means he knew kisses alone wouldn’t be able to satiate you nor get you to stop asking questions for the entire week. No matter how mind-numbing they may be.

"One second," He promised, and you definitely counted at least five, but he quickly found what he was looking for all the same. "I brought a surprise. Well, two surprises."

He was holding both of his hands behind his back with this stupid grin on his face. You squinted for a few seconds, suspicious, before breathing out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna show me?"

Jungkook looked way too happy with himself.

"The most important surprise is mistletoe, obviously. Gonna have to find a way to glue it on to the ceiling above your bed." And there was that mischievous little smile that told you he had every intention of carrying that out.

You folded your arms over your body and scoffed. Even if you were trying and failing to keep your lips from quirking up and possibly, maybe finding it a little harder to breathe all of a sudden. "You're unbelievable, Jeon."

He just winked and held up his other hand, pulling a gasp from your lips the second you realized what it was.

"The Polar Express!"

"I had to check like, four different stores in the mall to find it. That's why I got here a little late, by the way. But I thought we could make some hot chocolate like in the movie and watch it together and," Jungkook pauses to think, licking his lips. "There's a 'ride my train' joke in here somewhere but I don't know how to say it."

He's snorting at his own delivery before you are, and once your giggles permeate the air he's invading your space again with a lovesick smile.

"You are the sweetest boy," You praise, holding his pretty face with both hands and peppering small kisses all over it the way he secretly likes. "But you make me sick to my stomach sometimes."

If anything, this makes him smile even wider. "I love you too, baby."

You and Jungkook are in complete darkness besides the light coming from the TV in your room playing Polar Express. His head is on your shoulder with his arm strewn across your waist, and his entire leg slotted between yours. He's soft. He smells like the lavender body soap you keep in your shower. His gentle breaths hit your neck every time he exhales and you're now cliché enough to believe that the heart underneath you beats in tandem with yours. 

Both of your stomachs are filled from the takeout he ordered for dinner and the peppermint hot chocolate you made while he was in the shower. You're still mentally replaying the moment he stepped back in your room, towel wrapped around his waist with droplets of water cascading down his body. His prominent abs and tattoos and wet hair had you scrambling to sit up, clearing your throat as you tasked yourself with handing him his mug. If he noticed you ogling him, he surely didn’t react to it.

Made us some cocoa, you said.

He brought the beverage to his nose and sniffed once, twice, before his entire face bunched up. Peppermint is nasty. Then he was gulping it down.

I thought it was nasty, you laughed in disbelief.

Nothing you make me can be nasty. Thank you, baby.

And now you’re thoroughly warm from the tips of your fingertips down to your toes, and you figure it has less to do with the cocoa and more with the way Jungkook so obviously loves you. The way you love him.

Feeling a tugging at your shirt, you look down to see him peering up at you with a dazed twinkle in his eye. "You're not hot in this?"

You purse your lips and pause, knowing what was coming. "No. Are you?"

He has the decency to look a little clueless. He was always doing that, in a playfully childish way you grew to love.

"Actually, yeah I am," Jungkook furrows his brows, like it was something he was just now realizing. And then he's sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head, and you're instantly staring at his back and remembering the way it feels to rake your fingers up and down it, and he's turning back to you with a lazy smirk. "You don't wanna take yours off, angel?"

You swallow. "I'm okay."

Jungkook starts to laugh, that cocky laugh that is equal parts douchebag-ish and sexy. He's most definitely turning you on and he most definitely knows this, which is why you're glaring at him until he reaches over you and picks up the mistletoe from your bedside desk. He dangles it over your heads, makes sure to wriggle his eyebrows suggestively when he does it, and you want to laugh, you really do. You would probably roll your eyes and call him a nerd too while you were at it, if it weren't for the way he was changing his position and starting to lean over you. Crowding your space in your favorite way. 

Jungkook hears your breathing pick up once you're directly under him, watches the way your lips part and your eyes change for him, and decides to go for the kill.

Nothing about the kiss was soft or gentle. Jungkook clearly had a point to prove and knew how he wanted to do it. The dangling mistletoe was soon forgotten in favor of holding your face by your chin, landing with a chime on your wooden floors. He worked your mouth open in that sloppy, messy, dirty way he only exhibited when he was feeling particularly desperate. Saliva pooled at the corners of your mouth and you were trembling underneath him, clutching at the warm skin of his back. It was nasty, absolutely obscene the way his tongue was in your mouth like his life depended on it. And you loved it. You couldn't stop making these little sounds, and Jungkook was groaning into your mouth right along with you. You were seconds away from pleading for him to do anything he wanted, to make you his, when he's abruptly pulling from you with a wet pop and a string of saliva between you.

Your ragged breaths fill the air, both of your chests heaving as you take a second to attempt to drag yourself out of the haze he's built around you two.

The asshole has the audacity to laugh. "Hot yet?"

"You don't have to bring out the mistletoe to kiss me, you know." You eventually say instead.

"I know," He pants, still smiling like the all-consuming beauty he is. "But you love Christmas. And it's our first. Wanna do it right."

You feel the need to close your eyes, let his words sink in, and so you do. You let the statement blanket over you until you're positively beaming, and when you open your eyes, he is the same. You are so irreversibly in love and you think he might be perfect. You tell him as much.

"You're perfect," You say, all soft and starry eyed. You're nodding when he starts shaking his head, and when the tips of his ears begin to turn red and he's putting his head down, you're giggling and putting both hands on either side of his head to get his eyes back on yours. "I love you a lot."

Jungkook is so happy. "Love you most."

And then he's leaning down again. This kiss is much less frantic, more steady, but still passionate and still with Jungkook, which means it fills your body with heat all the same. Your head is floating and you're squirming under his hold again when you break apart for air.

There's no point in trying to resist him anymore. You never can.

"I'm gonna take my sweater off now."

Jungkook scrunches his nose, and grins. "Okay."

read part two here!

[sapphic-writing]

Alright back on posting stuff I write and I've caught up on mha lately. While I'm not that much into it, there is one more character that grabbed my attention and became my new comfort character. So enjoy a One Shot about Hawks.

A small funeral was organized for Toya Todoroki. His villain companions had all been arrested and nobody else but his family cared about him. A few of the adversaries he has had showed up. Midoriya, All Might, Aizawa and Hawks. None of the people present felt at their place here, but they had still decided to come. Mostly as a simple question of respect, either for their old enemy or for the mourning family.

But we are not here to talk about the tragedy of the eldest Todoroki son, who died like he lived. Consumed by his obsession. No, actually, we are here because of one of the guests who hoped to have a word with the youngest Todoroki.

While the body was burning in the crematorium, people who weren't family got on their way to their cars. All Might the Izuku passed in front of the family, presenting their condolences. The younger one asked his friend how he was feeling.

"I feel like I failed them." Shoto said, glancing at his family. "I promised I would try to help fix this family. But I failed.  I don't know how I will forgive myself."

Now embarrassed, Izuku wished he had just made his way to the car with All Might and waited another time to talk with him. The Todorokis were silent and Midoriya was thinking of the best way to tell his friend he wasn't responsible for Toya's fate. That is when Hawks invited himself into the conversation.

"Hello, Shoto. I hope you don't mind but I just heard your confession." It was one of the few times the hero was pulling a solemn face on. It was unsettling but fitting for the event. The boy shook his head as a sign he didn't mind but the other was already talking again.

"I'm very admirative of how much you brought to your family. I'm not trying to make it about me, but I know what a broken family is. I failed at maintaining it together from the start and could never fix anything. What you brought and how much forgiveness you gave is simply admirable. I don't think there was anything to do for your brother. You already keep this family together with admirable strength." Shoto was looking at him with surprised eyes. Before he could answer, yet another voice came from behind them.

"Don't make the kid feel like he is the one who has to take care of the family." Aizawa had walked up to them too. "Holding a family together is never a kid's job." He got closer to Shoto, then the rest of the family to present his condolences. They thanked him and as the four guests were finally walking away, you could hear the conversation heating up in the family.

Unsatisfied with the way things went, Hawks followed Aizawa who was about to join his husband in their car.

"How do you know what you said applies to this kid's case?" He said, walking up to the two men in the most casual way he could pull off. "A family is always a group work. And the kid really was the only reason this family didn't split up, so-"

"If not everyone is willing to give their best at a group project, then it's going to fail. You can't put it all on one person."

"But a team needs a leader."

Aizawa stopped half way through hoping in the car to look at Takami. "Not a kid. Adults need to be adults and take responsibilities. A reasonable person won't expect a child to fulfil this role."

Somehow, Takami could tell the hero knew he wasn't trying to challenge his view, but rather looking for answers.

"And what if the kid is the only one who wants to do anything about what's happening?"

"Then it will fail. You can't force people to care. Sometimes, a family is ruined and it is better to accept it." He paused for a second, considered the blond man in front of him, and got his left leg out of the car to fully face him. "Why are you so interested in my opinion on this?"

Altho Takami could hide it, emotions were strangling his throat and it took some effort for him to talk.

"I just started projecting. I guess I took this a little too personally." And he was about to drop it here, but Aizawa took a step in his direction and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know your mother was the one who leaked your personal information and I know you're an adult. But I'm sorry for the kid who never got to be one. You shouldn't blame yourself for those in charge who neglected you and your relationships." There was something about the recent war, Aizawa's comforting touch and Hizashi's soft look from the car that led Keigo to let down his walls for a moment, and his shoulders started shaking under Aizawa's hand.

It pulled the teacher's heart strings. Nothing made him angrier than adults leaving abusive traces onto their children. And if in his eyes, once adult, they had to take responsibility and learn to deal with these things without someone to babysit them, he just had to remember being 23 to know the hero was barely starting to be a man.

For a second, relief and old scars showed on Keigo's expression, and Aizawa decided that the best thing to do was to wrap his arms around the boy and pull him in an awkward hug.

"You were very strong. Sometimes if a family doesn't want to stick together, there is nothing you can do. No matter how hard you try."

The hero had been waiting for a long time to tell Shoto how admirative he was. Maybe as a way to put himself down for failing at what he thought was his responsibility. He had always pushed away the angry part of his mind, blaming his parents. He told himself that if he could bring his mother all the comfort she was asking for, somehow, she would finally want him as a son, seeing how much of a good one he was.

"Is it bad to feel she was a weight that I got off my shoulders?" Saying it out loud made the thought worse than he ever imagined.

"No, it's not."

Keigo took deep breaths against Aizawa's shoulder. Relaxing and letting out a tension he barely realised he had in him. Tears warmed up his eyes and he failed to fight it before wrapping his arm around the hero. Letting the kid inside him weep in the arms of a comforting adult for the first time.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[myinnersoul1412]

Hatori Novel Smexy scene 1

I'm not good at drawing, and I'm good at writing either so I hope this could somewhat serve at a present for fellow Domestica fans on Hatori’s birthday

Please note that it's translated by Google translate + a few more translator+ some common sense or interpretation so please take it with a grain of salt. I don't know Japanese beyond the basic characters but I'm just doing it because I love them so much

Even though the translation probably sucks, please don’t bring it anywhere since I spent a ton of time on it and just want to share.

Prior to this scene, Hatori and Yoshino were on a date at to collect materials for the manuscript. The setting is on Christmas’eve. They went to a Chinese restaurant to eat together, and while the food was good, Yoshino commented that Tori’s food was still better. During the meal, Hatori had to step outside for a work phone call because a newbie author (female, 2nd year college) wanted to ask his opinion on her storyboard.

Funny note: Hatori hated taking pictures but still posed as models for Yoshino to take pics anyway. 

Some touching lines:

Speaking of the real intention, it is not without thinking that this convenient dream will be awakened by the sudden impetus. The end may come someday, but I'm still going to enjoy this happiness. Even if this comes to an end some day, now that you have enjoyed all this happiness, even if you wake up from a dream, you will never forget it.

(If I say this to Yoshino, the him from way before would have been stunned **)

He secretly smiles at his self-ridicule. Of course, he wants to be with Yoshino his whole life.

As long as he’s allowed to be by his side, he’s not going to leave.It's just that that feeling and his wish for Yoshino's happiness are a little different. In the unlikely event that Hatori’s presence could be a burden or have a negative effect, he intends to behave accordingly. It is a commandment to himself.

This smexy scenes comes after their date. Enjoy!

Because this year progress is not desperate, there are no assistants coming in and out, and Yanase should be stuck at the seinenshi’s sensei place.(T/N: magazine for young men)

 “Well then. Don't stay up late today and go to bed early. Good luck with the manuscript tomorrow”  

“…………”

For some reason, Yoshino didn't try to step out, even though Hatori tried to see him off at the branch road to his home. On the contrary, he was pinching Hatori’s coat and holding it down.

“Yoshino?”

Yoshino’s cheeks that were looking down were slightly red. It didn't look like he was drunk, but could it be the afterglow of alcohol? 

“------You know. Normally, you wouldn’t go home on a day like this?”

“?”

 He didn't understand what Yoshino was saying, and the former had a perplexed face. In response to such a dull reaction from Hatori, Yoshino stamped his feet on the ground.

 “So! You're back from a date!”

 I looked(T/N: look, but with eyes wide open) at Yoshino who raised his voice frustratingly. I couldn’t hide the surprise that Yoshino also perceived today as a date.  

 “What’s with that face! Even though you can add embarrassing scenes to a plot, what do you mean you can't do it in real life……”

 Yoshino murmured the dissatisfying words. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was having a convenient dream, but it seemed to be reality.

 “I want to confirm, that is to say ---”

 “Read the mood in times like this!”

 He held his breath against Yoshino who glared at him with a red face.  

 (This is……is it okay to accept the invitation……?)

 In retrospect, today's Yoshino was somewhat strange from the beginning. I wondered if it might even snow, but I would be troubled if he got angry.  

 “Can I stay the night?”

 “………”

 When asked straight, Yoshino dyed red to his neck and nodded a little.  

Both of them were silent on their way to Yoshino’s room. Every step I took made me feel more nervous. My body temperature gradually rose, even though the cold night breeze was brushing my cheeks.

“Ah? Where did I put the key?”

 Yoshino panicked in front of the room. He was just looking at the pockets in his coat and trousers, and he seemed to be forgetting the bag on his shoulder.  

 “Is it there in your bag pocket?”

 “R-right”

 The fingers that opened the zipper were trembling. Yoshino, who had no sense of control, dropped the key. The sound of bumpy metal crashed into the hallway.

 “I'll open it”

 Hatori picked up the key and opened the front door. At that moment, Yoshino felt small and seemed to be holding his breath.  

 “Thank- thank you”

 Open the door and encourage Yoshino to enter first. Yoshino’s movement walking in front of me started to feel more jerky.  

 “Um, do you want something to drink?”

 The voice which asked the question was trembling too. Even though I was just nervous, it seemed like Yoshino's tension was infectious.  

 I guessed I should have gotten used to it, since we had already done it so many times, but I didn’t want to look so dismayed in front of the person I liked.

 “No”

 “Ah, then how about a shower?

 “……Ah”

 His pink nape caused the little amount of reason remaining in me to give away. I held Yoshino’s shoulders, turned him around, and strongly kissed him.

 “Nnn……?”

 Perhaps surprised by Hatori's brute force, Yoshino’s eyes were wide open. However, immediately, the body’s tension was released and his eyelids lowered.  Eating his lips and twisting his tongue, Yoshino put his hands on Hatori's back. As the kiss deepened, the more they clung into each other.(T/N: literal translation is “the stronger the clinging force became”)

 “Nnn,n,nn……”

Embracing Yoshino's body, which was gradually melting, I became absorbed and devoured his lips. Every time I entangled my tongue, I heard a wet sound. I teased his tongue which was trying to entangle awkwardly, and enjoyed the mouth that was hotter than usual. I wanted to continue more, but when I noticed Yoshino who seemed to be suffocating, I broke the kiss with the feeling that my back hair was getting pulled.  

“……Stupid, we're still in the hallway”

Yoshino complained while being out of breath. Hatori strongly pulled Yoshino’s waist, who was glaring up at him with flushed cheeks, and whispered into his ear.  

 “It’s your fault for stirring me up(t/n: to stir up, to incite, to agitate). And you were responding, too”

 “That, that was just conditioned reflex……”

 “Is that so?”

 “What do you want to say!”

 “I didn’t say anything”

 “There's something written all over your face”  

 It was a sulking look, but there was sweetness in the gaze (T/N: not very sure about this part). Towards Yoshino who showed a sullen face due to the embarrassment, sadistic desires were aroused.

 “What is written, can you tell me carefully?”

 “Eh?-----Uwa”

 Heading to the bedroom while holding the waist, they fell into the bed entangled together.

 “Oi Tori----------”

 Fueled by Yoshino's moist eyes, he kissed him again as if he was being sucked in. He repeated the devouring kisses and ran his hands over Yoshino's clothes. While sighing and moaning into the sealed kiss, I pinned down and felt around/groped the thin body. Rolling up the inner knitwear, I touched his bare skin.

 I managed to get rid of the coat, and I was frustrated by the difficulty of movement while loosening the belt, and realized that I had not even taken off my jacket yet.

 (I really can't afford it)

 Internally, Hatori laughed bitterly at his impatience. He roughly stripped off his coat and jacket, which normally would have been dutifully hung, and pulled out his tie.  

 “Hey, slow down a bit………”

 “I can't”

 “Then try harder!”

If you answered immediately, you would get a retort from Yoshino. When I stroked around the area where Yoshino’s ribs had previously floated, Yoshino stirred under Hatori. It was still a bit thin, but it had gained a lot of flesh after all my daily efforts.

 “I'm deeply moved/very emotional that I've come to be able to grab it”

 “Oi, hey, don’t rub it……!”

 When Hatori grabbed his side, Yoshino wriggled ticklishly.  

“Then, how about here?”  

“Hya—”

He moved his hand further up, gently stroked the tip of his chest with the pad of his thumb, and then crushed it, a shrill voice escaped Yoshino's lips.The ticklish Yoshino was sensitive here too. When stimulated, it easily hardened. 

“Ah, mmm, ouch, stupid, not so hard”

 “You like it when it hurts, don't you?”  

 When you pinched it, the body jumped.

 “Ahh, n,nnn……!”

 When I knead it with some strength, it reddened like a fruit, and Yoshino rubbed his knees together as if frustrated. It looked like his nipples weren’t the only things getting hard.  

 When I forcibly split his knees and pressed my leg against his groins, I felt a hard tantalizing touch.

 “Ugh.... ah, wait, ah, ah”

 Rubbing it with your thigh made it even more tense. Hatori pushed down Yoshino's pants, which had been loosened at the waist. His underwear had changed color at some parts.

 “You're already wet”

 When I told him the fact, Yoshino turned red to his ears.  

 “W-Well, I'm not the only one... ah”

 “Maybe so”  

 “Ah……!?”

 He ran his index finger over the elastic of Yoshino’s underwear and lightly pulled it down, revealing a taut member. Hatori traced up the warped underside and scooped the moistened tip with his fingertips.

 “Ahh, ah………”

 When I wrapped my fingers around the whole cock and rubbed it gently, Yoshino let out a sweet and seductive/mellow voice. His appearance when clutching the bedsheet and enduring the pleasure was lovely.

 (How cute/How lovely)  

 He was usually sloppy, and he was quick to whine, but at the root of Yoshino's character is a stubbornness that hated to lose. Once he had made a decision, no matter what, he was not going to change it.

 “Yoshino, take that off”

 “Get ready first, you idiot...”

 While rebuking Hatori, Yoshino reached into a drawer on the sideboard. He found what he was looking for, and embarrassed to present something that could be used on him, he carelessly pressed it against my chest.  

 “Thank you”

 The bottle of lotion and the box of contraceptives that he had ready were new. I wondered what kind of expression did Yoshino buy these things with.

Resisting the urge to pursue the answer, I took the content in the palm of my hand. Making sure to squeeze it and spread it all over my fingers, I wrapped around his excitement again.  

 “Hya……ah,ah……!”

 When I made it slimy up and down, Yoshino's moan became even sweeter. After making it feel as tight as it could be, I probed behind with my wet fingers.  

 “Mmm,mm”

Yoshino sighed when I forcibly pushed my fingertips into the tightly closed place. He didn’t realize that he was tightening his limbs, but I pushed my fingers deeper and deeper.

 “Ngh,nghh……”

 Yoshino clenched his teeth as he endured the sensation of being probed inside his body.  It was not originally designed to accept foreign substances, but he slowly got used to it as lotion was added several times along the way.  Every time I pulled my finger in and out, a lewd squelching sound was heard.  

 “Ah…ah,ah……mm”

Yoshino's hands wandered around on the bed looking for something to cling to. Eventually, he grabbed a pillow and pulled it over to bury his face in it. Realizing that he didn’t want to let out his voice, I moved my fingers even more.  

 “Ah, ah, ah……!”  

 With increased fingers, I pushed hard against the inner wall and Yoshino's body jumped like a fish on land. I could tell that he was getting pleasure from the melting moans/charming moans.  

 I already knew all of Yoshino’s sensitive spots. I couldn’t afford to tease him today. Just tortured severely the spots where he would surely react.  

 “No, not only there, ahhh, ah!”  

 Yoshino wasn’t negative/contradictory about getting pleasure, but when he felt too good, he suddenly got scared.  I could understand the uneasiness of feeling like I was no longer myself. But I had no intention of toning it down.(T/N: other possible meanings: keeping it moderate/mild)

 “Aahh, no, ah, ah----!?”  

 The root of the arousal that was about to burst was tightened and the i that would have been risen was suppressed. Yoshino, who was going to be released, stared at Hatori with an agitated expression/ in turmoil.  

 “W-why……”  

 “You can hold it a bit more right?”  

 If I made him come first on a tiring day, he often fell asleep immediately after that. As expected, it would be a problem if that were to happen today.  I was already painfully tense. It wouldn’t be easy to take care of it alone.  

 “You have to take responsibility for the invitation”

 “Ahh……”  

 As I pulled out the fingers that were probing inside, a sweet, trembling voice escaped. I had feared it might still be a little tight, but my patience had already reached the limit.  

 “Are you ready?”(T/N: “Is it okay?”)

 “……Do whatever you want”(T/N: ……Suit yourself”)  

 With Yoshino's permission, I pushed open his knees. I restlessly loosened my waist and pulled my excited self out from the underwear.  I quickly put on the condom and when I fit into the prepared spot, the body temperature and pulsation were transmitted vividly.

 “Ah------”  

 I pushed the tip in with a huff. Running out of patience, I shoved in mercilessly.  Although it was still narrow/tight as he thought, but it had already learned Hatori’s shape and accepted him without refusal.  

 I secretly let out a sigh from the pleasure of being wrapped in the soft mucous membrane.

 “Nghh……why……why is it so big……ngh”  

 Yoshino glared at me resentfully with teary eyes. This might be more of a whining rather than a complaint. I was embarrassed to be complained about the body’s physiological reaction. It wasn’t something that could be controlled by reason.  

 “Of course it's because I want you. There isn’t any guy who’s not excited about holding someone he loves”  

“Idiot ......ngh”

 It was unreasonable to be spit a verbal abuse at like that even though I answered his question. In a fit of anger, I forcefully pushed it to the root, and cloudy whiteness was scattered by the momentum/impetus/force.

 “Ahh……ngh”

 He seemed to have come just by stimulation at the back because he was made to endure it earlier. The bodily fluid overflowing from the explosion was scattered across the thin abdomen.

 “I didn't say that you could come first right?”

 “B-but……”

 I wiped the overflowing bodily fluids with my fingers and treat Yoshino's arousal as if to smear it. I rubbed it hard, and it got tighter there with Hatori inside.

 “Ahh, ah, no, I’m going to come again……”

 “That won’t do. It's better if we come together right?”

 “Yeah ... but ...ngh”

 “You can't hold it for me?”

 “Meany Tori……Uh, ah, ah, nghh, ngh!”  

 What Yoshino said not to do was the same as what he said he wanted you to do. The reaction inside changed depending on the intensity of the stimulus. As I was enjoying the change, I was complained to by Yoshino, who was on the verge of tears.

“No, idiot, don't play anymore……ngh”  

 “You want me to focus more here?”

 “Ahngh!?”  

 I gave a hard shove at the place where our bodies connected.  

 “No, ahhh, ah, ah……ngh”

 I put myself into the root and shook up our connected bodies. Every time I sent my hips in, Yoshino's body jolted and trembled. I grabbed Yoshino's waist and held him up, bending his back heavily, and stirred his lotion-soaked wet insides mercilessly.

 “Ahhngh, ahh, no……ngh”  

While greedily gouging out the tangled mucous membranes, I drilled into the back again and again. When I sent my hip into the right place, Yoshino gasped as if to cry. That voice and expression further fueled Hatori. Hatori threw off his self-control and thrust up Yoshino in his lust.

 “Agh,ahh,ahhng,aah!”  

 At first, Yoshino was at my mercy, but gradually he started to move. It was unintentional, and probably unconscious. It was a pleasure that flew off all reasons, and he was trying to get more of it. Even if it was an act of instinct, it didn’t change what the expectation was.

 What Yoshino wanted, I just gave him exactly that

 (--------I’m really sly/cunning)  

 Every time I hold Yoshino like this, I felt indescribable elation and guilt.

All Yoshino must have had for Hatori, until the later revealed his hidden lust, were the feelings of comfort, friendship, and trust of a childhood friend. There might have been some sort of monopoly, but it probably wasn't that of love. I dragged Yoshino to this side, imposed my not-so-pretty desires on him, and instilled lust.

Even if Yoshino had had such experience, it was with the opposite sex and he was not in the receiving position. As a man, there must have been some confusion for him. Nevertheless, it was thanks to his generosity that he had accepted the position of being embraced on the receiving end.

He might not be aware of it himself, but Yoshino was the one who had the gut when the time came. Hatori's prudence was a mask to hide his mean, negative and cowardly self.

 “Ah! Not there, no, aghn, ah, aghn!”

 "Can't you say anything other than denial once in a while?"

 “Sh-shut up…..nghh”

 When I pointed out his lack of vocabulary, he glared at me with moist eyes. He usually had a face that didn’t seem to have anything to do with sexual things. But when he was embraced, he had such a face, so I couldn’t stand it. As I repeatedly thrust into the back, the connected part became loose. At that moment, I pulled myself out as much as I could and pushed it in.

 “Aaahhh……ngh”

With each extraction, the voice that spilled out became sweeter and sweeter. As I continued to gouge out the tightly-clung inner walls, Yoshino's face became distorted with pleasure.

 “You like it here right?”

“Yes, it feels good……nghh”  (T/N: Alternative: I like it. It feels good)

The reason why I deliberately asked the question when reason had failed was because I could hear an honest answer now.

 “Here?”  

 “Ughahh, ah,ah, ah….ngh”

 Yoshino, who was writhing and gasping, was driven even harder. When he squirmed and swayed, the thin body slid up on the bed.  

 “No, nghh, agnh, ah, ah……!”

Vigorously pulling his hips closer and thrusting even deeper. Yoshino also tangled his legs around Hatori's waist and clung to his back.  His lips came close to mine as if a pleading from Yoshino. Biting and kissing, I devoured on the impulse/urge.

 “Nn,n,n,nn……ngh”

 As I rocked my hips with our bodies close together, Yoshino's erection, which was overflowing with semen, rubbed against my abdomen. It seemed that the limit was already in sight.

When I parted my lips, there was a face right there that looked like it was about to burst into tears.

 “Tori……ngh, already, I’m coming, please……nghh”

In the blink of an eye, a single tear fell from Yoshino's eyes. I thought I'd tease him more, but I changed my mind on that expression.

“I know”

 Immediately, I increased the pace and caught up with Yoshino.  

 “Ahh, ahh, ah……ngh”  

 “-------Chiaki”

 “AH-----!?”

After an intense urging, they came almost simultaneously. Yoshino's lower abdomen quivered intermittently, overflowing with white turbidity.

 “Ah, nn……ngh”

 Then, after Hatori poured all the proof of his desire into Yoshino, he also pulled himself out. We remained silent, waiting for the heat to recede from our bodies. As I closed my eyes and surrendered to the pleasant exhaustion, Yoshino opened his mouth with rough breathing.

“……I've been meaning to tell you this for a while”

“Hm?”

“It’s foul play to call my name like that!”

Yoshino caught his breath, then paused, and grudgingly complained in Hatori's ear.

Personal notes: Hatori’s monologue is so sad omgg...the scene is like both sexy and hurt at the same time...what a writer

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations. 

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”. 

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL. 

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And –  this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future. 

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about. 

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

[ceies]

Oh don't get me wrong. I wouldn't be rude on critizism and for the most part I hold back on it too, unless I'm specifically asked to. Even in fics where they tag Concrit Welcome (or any variation for it) I would still be careful in what I say and how I choose my words in a way that takes into consieration that I don't know the author and don't know how willing to accept criticism they end up being.

My comment was not just meant in regards to 'if you allow people to comment you should expect/accept harsh criticism'. I simply don't agree that it is 'unsolicited'. ESPECIALLY if a story ends with a 'What did you think?' 'Please Review!' 'How do you like it?' sort of question, which especially on AO3 is part of a lot of author's notes. Still, I think polite etiquette would be to either familiarize yourself with the author's writing first and maybe look how they react to other comments, or ask if they are willing to take advice, before jumping in full throttle. BUT I think to act as if it is unsolicited if somebody takes the question "Tell me what you think about it?" seriously, is not fair to the commenter either.

I might have expressed myself without adding a lot of nuance - in part because I tend to be curt when I type on my phone. I think every writer knows how it is to get hurtful comments by a person who doesn't even bother to find anything positive abut the fic. THAT IS NOT CONRIT! If a comment hurts a writer so hard they want to stop writing after it, it's not constructive criticism but destructive. So, in this I am mostly talking about Concrit. I'm talking about comments that try to be polite (and in many cases trying to be polite would include asking about it before jumping straight in or starting with something small and looking how the author reacts to it), that will point out the positive with the negative and don't just crush an author with criticism about any minor thing they might have done in a way the reader didn't like and then leave the writer to pick up the pieces. I guess as writers we all get a few of those and it's not really encouraging.

So, the reason, why I generally do not see such concrit as unsolicited, even if I think readers should be careful with it is because in my eyes it polices commenting culture too much. Whether the thing is called is review- or comment-button, we are ASKING PEOPLE to say something about our fic.

Most of us writers want comments. We strive on that, we want to know that people read our fic, that they like it, what they like about it - and sometimes that includes also learning what they don't like about it as much. We want to know what parts excited them and what parts did maybe less so. Sometimes we worry about certain parts of the story, how they will be received and are then glad if somebody gives us their honest opinion. Sometimes we mess up and forget a litle plot hole or make a really embarrassing typo or forget to upload a chapter in between and then we appreciate a heads up by the reader... (One time I forgot to upload a chapter, and when I figured that out a month later, and nobody pointed it out to me, I was really disappointed. I thought nobody read it, or nobody cared enough - or else why wouldn't they have said something?)

Or sometimes WE DON'T. Sometimes, we just don't care what the reader thinks, cause it's a self-indulgent story. Sometimes we only want praise, because we're down and can't deal wth the criticism right now (even if at other times it might be fine).

The thing is for the reader unless we say what exactly we want, this is impossible to guess. Not everybody who wants concrit also writes "concrit welcome" into their author's notes or tags. Not everybody who asks for your opinion actually wants to hear your opinion. A lot of author's, although their author's notes are empty and void and although they might not even answer to comments, still welcome them and are genuinely open for criticism, even think those are the best comments they ever got. For the reader that's IMPOSSIBLE to deduce, unless the author writes it down, which often they don't - and even then what they write is sometimes untrue. Some will write, that they like concrit, but then complain about the first critical comment they get, other's will give you pretty much a DNI-message in the author's note, and then complain about not getting any comments at all. Some want only praise, but then if you only send a heart emoji or a one-word-commet they are disappointed and if you send a 'can't wait for the next chapter'-type comment you're suddenly rude and demanding, pressuring the author to write faster.

At the end of the day, there's a whole bunch of stuff that a reader now can't write into the comment section without somebody thinking it's rude. If they leave unsolicited critique they are assuming a position of trust they don't have. If they ask for a new chapter they are demandig and rude. If they leave just one word they are cheap and if that's the only type of comment an author gets a lot of them will be unsatisfied. If they use the comment section to talk about their interpretation about a canon character they might come across as rude and confrontational 'fighting you on your interpretation of canon'. If their english is bad, or cultural conventions are different, or their wordchoice unfortunate, even that might make them sound rude to others. If they don't comment at all they are cheap ghostreaders who can't be bothered to leave a comment even if they enjoy the fic. Some don't like comments that quote passages in the fic back to them. Some don't like comments that are always the same three words thanking the author for their chapter, cause they think they are without substance...

Add to that, that a lot of readers feel hella self conscious about what they should write. Becaue most readers don't want to be rude, most want to encourage the author (even those who leave critique, mostly do this believing it is something the author will appreciate later down the line). There are readers who think, if they have only a sentence or two to say, they don't need to bother at all, cause they wouldn't really say much. There are readers who - quite the opposite - feel if they ramble too long in the comment section, the author will be annoyed. Then there are those who don't speak english and have to google translate their comment or try in rudimentary english that they are very self-conscious about. (Or write a comment in a different language altogether, fearing that the author might not like that). A lot of that is often irrational but it still means that only a fraction of readers is willing to commet at all. And of those again only a fraction feels like they have anything to say.

And then we come back to the simple fact: Most authors want comments. Many authors if they don't get comments will be far more discouraged than if they get one POLITE and CONSTRUCTIVE critical comment (that mentions both the positive and negative, and tips to improve), even if they might not have specifically asked for it. Some authors, if they don't get comments, tend to question their writing or stop writing entirely.

On the other hand, only a fractrion of readers are willing to comment AT ALL. Of those a few will be rude trolls trying to make everybody's life a little worse, but the vast majority want to be helpful and encouraging. And then there are a bunch of rules that they have to oblige, that many of them probably don't really know about, because there's no handbook about 'How to comment?' when opening a fanfic-site. Never mind that over the last ten or so years those rules changed dramatically. If you read a weekly uploading story being excited and looking forward to the next chapter, is a natural thing, yet when you write that, you're rude. If you're a fellow artist seeing a piece of art by maybe a less experienced artist, thinking that maybe you could give them a pointer, might seem natural, but again if you do that, you're rude. If you read an ongoing story, and suddenly there are no further updates for months without a comment by the author, sometimes as a reader you might want to ask if the fic is discontinued or if and when the new chapter is coming out, and again this is seen as rude - or maybe not? Sometims the author discontinued a fic thinking nobody was reading so such a comment might get them a boost of confidence and motivate them to continue the fic after all.

I think to just say that the reader has to assume that 'unless the author says something else if they ask what you thought about their story, they really only want you to praise it' is putting too much pressure on the reader. Especially if you WANT THEM to comment. It's also WRONG, because a lot of author's never bother to ask for concrit, and still think those are the best comments they ever got.

For a reader seeing and empty author's note, it's mostly impossible to deduce if the author is welcoming of concrit or not. (Sure you might ask if the author want's concrit, but by the time the author responds, you probably forgot about the fic already. Never mind that even if the author says 'yeah sure' they don't always mean that.) So the question that remains is "Should we interpret an empty author's note with no other indicators what the author might like as an 'everything goes' or as a 'nothing goes'?"

And I think, how you answer that question is probably down to personal opinion. I myself would in general interpret it as 'everything goes' because I want to encourage people to comment, and the bitter truth is, if you have a long list of things you don't want to read in your comments, you will get less comments. Even less so if you don't have a list, so people don't know what you want, but it's ettiquette to not send something that you're not 100% certain the author will appreaciate. It just creates uncertainty.

I generally think that if an author is sensitive to a certain type of comment, it's not that much work to add a little author's note about that. (I also think, on that note, it's probably sensible to protect obviously young authors specifically.) But I do acknowledge that if you want to protect the author's feelings first and foremost that is probably not the way to go. My reason why i handle it that way, is because I see a lot more people complaining about and being discouraged by not getting any or barely any comments, or even by the commets they get being all in all insubstantial, than I see people complaining about concrit.

I'm a writer who is fine with receiving critical comments even when I didn't remember specifically say so. Some other writers don't want to receive critical comments. That's fine. No unsolicited crit is not a universal norm, so any writer who cares a lot about whether they get critical comments should say so, whether that's saying please do or please don't.

You know, I’ve got a fourteen-year-old nephew who plays the violin.

He’s been playing it since fifth grade, and he’s going to be a freshman in high school next year. He’s at that age where boys are usually fucking assholes. Worse than that, he’s a nerdy boy, who’s into a whole slew of geeky things, which means he could so very easily fall prey to the Nice Guy attitude, but he doesn’t.

He’s a good kid. But because he’s so much like me, and has been influenced heavily by me his entire life, he’s a bit of a perfectionist.

On Monday, we went to an open house for parents for the high school he’s hoping to get into this coming year, and they had their orchestra playing. After their performance, as we were walking to the next section of the tour, he reiterated a point that I’ve heard him voice a few times before.

It’s hard for him to just sit there and listen to other people play the violin now. When he’s listening to the performance, all he can hear are the missed notes or if someone is scratchy or off-key or if they’re a beat ahead or a beat behind, etc. 

He isn’t some virtuoso by any means, he’s just a fourteen-year-old that plays the violin, yet because he studies it, he automatically mentally critiques the performance.

I think we, as writers, can all relate to that. No matter how well we write ourselves, by being in this arena, we are automatically more sensitive to the mistakes others make. In fact, you don’t even have to be a writer; those who read regularly are prone to the same thing.

The thing is, though, I didn’t have to tell my nephew not to mock the students who were performing at the open house. I didn’t have to tell him not to criticize them or make fun of them, I didn’t have to tell him to lower his voice so they wouldn’t hear, and I definitely didn’t have to stop him from going up to them to criticize their performances to their face. It was something that was automatically understood; those things are impolite, and should he engage in any of those behaviors, he’d get in trouble for them.

And here’s the really important bit. Are you ready? 

Not a single one of those amateur performers had to preface that performance by saying, “Please don’t.” 

It was just automatically understood that their audience wouldn’t, because it’s not a thing you do in polite society when you are given something for free by people who are not professionals. Especially when–and this is also an important bit–you are also not a professional critic in any shape, form, or fashion.

My nephew waited until we’d walked away from the orchestra, where they weren’t in danger of hearing before he even began to discuss the very broad concept of how he critiques performances now because he’s in orchestra.

Somehow, without me having to drill it into his head countless times, this fourteen-year-old boy grasps the concept that you should not go up to someone, out of the blue, and criticize their performance just because you heard (or in the case of a writer: saw) their mistakes. He isn’t a professional, nor is he a teacher. He hasn’t been asked, he’s still learning himself, and they don’t know him from Adam. 

On a fundamental level, he seems to get how entirely unhelpful his critique would be, and how the only thing he’s succeeding in doing is hurting someone’s feelings for no good reason.

I just think it’s funny how a fourteen-year-old understands that, but somehow, you don’t.