#i don't really got family either.. i just have a couple online friends left and some alchoholic coworkers. that's it lol

[shinynx]

My cat is basically unable to walk and can't eat or drink or use the litterbox by herself. I will have to say goodbye to her very soon. I can not catch a break. Life loves to crush me over and over and over again. Once she is gone i will be completely alone. I can't think of a reason to keep going after this.

[one-night-story]

I Don't Know You, But I Would Love to Meet You (Jack Hughes)

a/n: I wanted to get this not under the wire, but I can't help but feel like it a little? Which, sorry about that. this is for @writingonleaves by way of @wyattjohnston 's annual winter fic exchange! I hope you enjoy it! this was as always a fun challenge to write. title is from "We Should Be Friends" by Josh Ramsay, which is v cute. (also it's so long oh jeez)

There’s probably a certain age when you’re fairly certain you’re “too old” to be waking up on strangers couches with little memory of A) who’s couch you ended up on and B) how exactly you got there.

I don’t think I’ve quite hit that age yet, so I think I’m in the clear for the understandable confusion I woke up with as the morning sun streamed in from the floor to ceiling windows. 

Shit, not only was I in an unfamiliar apartment, whoever was renting the place was clearly richer than my blood. 

Good news: my phone was on the coffee table and attached to a charger, so whoever I’d crashed with was a benevolent host, which boded well for my continued situation. I checked my texts and it seems last night me had been coherent and just exhausted, seeing as I remembered to text my roommate that I wasn’t coming home saying I was crashing “with friends” and that I’d text her when I got back on campus. 

Huh, promising.

It at least meant she wouldn’t send out a search party consisting of our friend group, their friends, and the National Guard. All incredibly good things for my continued health and existence. 

Now, to figure out who’s apartment I’d just woken up in. 

Carefully, I stretched out my legs and shifted the blankets onto my lap when I realized I at the very least had the sense to not try and sleep in jeans but had left my “nice enough to go out” t-shirt on, and scanned the area. A couple of photos on the wall of a relatively decent sized family, siblings at the bare minimum as they popped up in several photos. Rich, but a bachelor as no one with any interior design sense had popped by to huck a colored throw pillow into the mix, and that was assuming their lease didn’t allow for wall color changes. 

Honestly, I was coming up empty. 

None of my friends were this rich, hell if they were I feel like it would’ve come up way sooner, not to mention why the hell would they bother commuting to campus when they probably could leverage online classes and still come out with a degree. 

I was just about to fashion enough of a blanket skirt to at least try and find my pants so I could start rifling through a mail stack when there was creaking coming from down the hall. Well, maybe I’d have an answer soon enough. I readjusted the blanket a little so I could look over from where I thought the creaking was coming from and was greeted by… okay calling it a familiar face might’ve been a stretch, but so would the text to my roommate saying I was staying with a friend, so somehow that was two birds with one stone. 

I did recognize him, which was an improvement over my worst fear, he was a friend of a friend of a brother of a friend. Which put me at four degrees of separation, and raised my “why the fuck did I crash here” hackles, but the fact that I was on a couch and not in someone’s bed felt safe, even if it wasn’t all there yet. 

He didn’t seem to be fully coherent yet, as he rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his, admittedly very pretty, hair so I tried to hold back a large laugh when he startled at seeing me sitting on his couch.

“Hi,” I said with a sheepish wave. “Sorry, I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” I remarked. What I really needed to do was find out where the hell half-dead me had hucked my pants so I could tug them back on and then make a beeline to the nearest train station to get home.

“‘S fine, just… uh… shit, there’s no like… good way of asking this,” he mulled over.

“It’s okay, I don’t quite remember your name either,” I said, saving him the embarrassment. He laughed, and it was goofy and light, which was way too endearing for… shit did that microwave clock say 9:30 in the morning? I couldn’t help but join in with a chuckle of my own. 

“Oh thank god,” he said once he stopped most of the laughter, “I didn’t want to seem like a complete asshole, but also there was no way I was going to remember it after last night.” He added.

“Yeah, I don’t remember much either, and I don’t even think I drank that much?” I said with just a dash of question in my tone, he nodded once.

“You didn’t, but I think you mentioned that you didn’t want to risk taking the train back so late.” He said. “I offered to let you crash here when you refused to let someone pay for a hotel.”

Yeah, that sure did sound like me.

“Well, thank you, I’m Sadie,” I said, and as soon as I did, he brightened like he suddenly did remember and just needed the metaphorical kick in the brainstem. 

“Yes! Okay, see I thought it’d be in there,” he said with another chuckle. “I usually at least try to learn the names of the girls I bring home.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he chose to phrase it and even more when he very clearly winced realizing how it sounded.

“We’ll chop it up to “lack of coffee” and call no hard feelings, sound fair?” I proposed as an even solution to our silly little predicament. 

“Fair, I’m Jack by the way.” he said as he came over to the couch and offered up his hand. “Nice to actually meet you Sadie,” he said. 

“Nice to meet you too,” I said with a chuckle as I shook his hand with a bit of teasing vigor. 

“Can I at least offer you breakfast before you sneak out in the middle of the morning?” He asked while still holding onto my hand. I thought it over, and remembered the time, and figured that… yeah I could probably stand to be held up for coffee and a minimal breakfast before jumping on the train. 

“Yeah, if it’s not —“

“Don’t worry about it,” Jack was quick to cut me off. He let go of my hand and wandered back over to the kitchen and I was quick to try and figure out where the hell I’d put my pants so I wasn’t having to talk across the apartment and be perceived as rude on top of whatever else one could make assumptions about a girl who’d crashed on the couch of a guy she barely knew. After being assured that the blanket was carefully tucked around me I leaned down to check under the couch and was relieved when I found them sticking out. I carefully maneuvered my body so that I could reach under the couch, grab them and carefully bend back up onto the couch so I could put them on under the blanket. When I eventually sat back up and stood. Jack was looking at me with a look of bemusement. 

“Were you…”

“No, last night me wanted to not sleep in jeans. So I must’ve haphazardly hucked them off.”

“And you managed to get them on… without getting up from under the blanket?”

“Old trick from summer camp. Trust me, you haven’t even seen half of it.” I could get dressed pretty entirely without getting up from under the covers. When Jack still looked amused I chuckled and finished walking over to where he was in the kitchen. “What? Upstate New York gets cold in the morning in the summer.” I remarked. Jack fully laughed and again, I couldn’t help but join in.

“Oh I know, I guess I’m just used to living in houses with heating too.” He said. I simply shrugged, low tech summer camps, what could you do? I watched as Jack maneuvered around his kitchen to get the coffee going from the cautious spot of his breakfast bar, trying to not take up too much space or get in the way, no one likes multiple people in a kitchen at once, it was practically a fact. “I only have milk and sugar, I hope that’s okay?”

“It’ll be fine, I’m hardly in a position to be picky,” I said as I tried to focus on something that wasn’t the way Jack’s hair was falling that made him seem… softer? than just my brain’s logical, knee jerk reaction of him being “just some guy”. I mean, of all the people that my sleep addled brain could remember, I definitely remember that Jack was one of the better looking ones. I could feel my fingers wanting to pick at my nails and the social morays of it all was pretty much the only thing holding me back from doing so. I wanted to say something, anything, pretend for one morning that I was good at socializing. The fact that I’d managed to get through last night with enough grace and charm that I had managed to score a place to crash after the friend of a friend I came with ditched me to hook up with on of the myriad of white boys that were there that night meant this morning I was praying I had enough left to at least make it through coffee.

Jack set the Keurig off to do its thing and rifled through the cupboards to try and find… something. Honestly, while I was hoping for cereal, I would’ve settled for toast, when I heard him curse someone under his breath and went over to the fridge.

“Shit.” He muttered.

“Roommate eat you out of house and home?” I said taking a shot in the dark. Jack looked over, remembering he was making coffee for two and gave me a look that read as though I’d gotten it in one. He padded back over to the breakfast bar and leaned in conspiratorially, something I couldn’t help but meet him halfway about.

“So… I might’ve lied about breakfast. My brother was supposed to go grocery shopping yesterday after practice and it looks like he forgot.” I chuckled and opened my mouth to assure him that really, it was fine, thanks for even offering, I’ll just go; but he pressed on, “there’s a spot around the corner that does… probably better than I ever could and that includes the coffee. If you want, I could… take you there?” He proposed. 

On the one hand, that was incredibly sweet and his smile was very much continuing my brain’s belief of him being endearing. Not to mention I love a good brunch spot as much as the next girly and that included a good little diner.

On the other hand, I felt gross being in yesterday’s clothes and I didn’t want to impede Jack’s ability to get on with his day. That, and the somewhat social expectation to turn down anything offered with you without an obvious way to pay back. We weren’t really friends, and we weren’t dating, so what the hell could I even do? My obvious gut reaction was to reject it, to chop it up to the fact that really, he was just being polite and there was no real reason to go with him. But then I snuck another glance at him, a little open and earnest and maybe the offer was just a genuine “let me be a good host in spite of the fact that my roommate is making that a challenge.”

“One condition,” I said and Jack nodded, “you mind if I borrow your shower? I feel super gross,” I said and Jack immediately nodded.

“Yeah, course, I’ll get you a new shirt if ya need.” He was quick to add. I smiled and thanked him as he pointed me toward where the bathroom was. It was very clear a bachelor’s bathroom, but at least they had more than one bottle of soap. So… small victories.

I was quick to wash up and thankful for the t-shirt left precariously balancing on the bathroom island that fully suggested it’d been put there without someone looking. Changing was just as fast and I came back out feeling a little less like death. I grabbed my phone and my bag from the end of the couch (ungracefully shoving my t-shirt from last night in) and met Jack where he was by the door. 

The trip to ground level was mostly quiet, with both of us seemingly trying to pick and choose what to say about all of this. I didn’t want to put any sort of anything on it, hell, I was prepared to pay should need be and blow the rest of my fun money budget for the month. 

And Jack hadn’t been lying when he said the place had been around the corner as, sure enough, the glass faced front of a quaint brunch place, Edison light bulbs and all, was in front of us. For a late Saturday morning, it wasn’t horrendous by any means. I predicted a twenty minute wait without reservations, but I was willing to be surprised. Jack got the door for me and I muttered a quiet thank you as we walked in. The front area was small so I suspected that this was probably a strict “reservation or get lucky on a walk in” place. I snuck a glance at Jack, but he didn’t seem to be fazed by any of it as he made his way over to the hostess and they had a quick exchange before menus were being grabbed and we were being led to a quiet little back booth, out of sight of the main windows. The hostess gave her usual spiel about the menus and our waiter being over in a few and we both thanked her for her time. As she left I finally looked over at Jack.

“What?”

“Does the owner owe you money or something?”

“No, but he is a fan,” he said. That made me tilt my head slightly but I was quick to shake it off. “Relax, I made reservations while you were showering. Got lucky that they had a last minute cancellation.” He said. Yeah, that seemed reasonable all things considered, so I let the topic drop and gave the menu a scan. There wasn’t a lot that didn’t appeal to me, so that was a good sign. 

“Got any recommendations?” I asked as Jack fidgeted with his fork.

“Oh, uh… the pancakes are pretty killer. And my brother swears by their waffles. But pretty much everything’s good.” He said. I nodded and adjusted my own silverware as our waiter came over and poured water. While I was of the firm belief that brunch didn’t count as brunch without mimosas, I just ordered coffee with some of their fancier fixings. We asked for a bit more time with the menus and our waiter agreed to come back with the coffee. We fell into a silence, not quite awkward but nowhere near comfortable, and I settled on biting the bullet first.

“So why New Jersey?” I asked.

“Why New Jersey?”

“Yeah, you don’t seem like you’re from around here so why’d you move to New Jersey?”

“Work,” he answered simply. My memory of the previous night was still a swirling mess of exhaustion and bright lights and a smidge too much noise, but I think I remembered that those at the table who hadn’t been with my acquaintance group were coworkers. Must be a tight knit workplace. “You?”

“School, got a scholarship.”

“What for?”

“Creative writing, not the flashiest of degrees, but it’s what I’ve always wanted to do.” I replied. 

“Working on the next Great American Novel, then?” He asked and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ah, maybe. Right now I’m fighting to try and keep my voice while meeting every professors’ wildly different expectations. It’s a… hassle.” I said. The conversation spiraled from there, breaking to order brunch, but otherwise swapping stories about his family and my schooling. What could I say, I had an odd high school experience, even by American Public School standards, and eventful friends.

By the time food came out, we’d eased up the tension by a couple points, and I only felt sort of bad when my phone vibrated insistently in my pocket. I made a gesture asking if it was chill if I got it and he nodded. I fished it out of my pocket and scanned the notification. Multiple texts from Anna, the friend I was supposed to travel home with last night, as it seems she’d finally woken up from her adventures last night. Most of them were standard, if sweet, a “did you get home”, a “sorry for ditching you”, and then finally “oh holy shit this guy is rich rich”. It was funny, and I was just about to put my phone away when I saw the last text come in.

what kind of rich as hell guy has a two bedroom? Shit, did i sleep with a married guy?

That finally got me to audibly laugh and Jack raised his eyebrow, “The friend I was supposed to get back to campus with, she just woke up and is questioning if she just became the other woman.”

“Nah, none of the guys out last night were married. What’d she look like?” He asked.

“Blonde, dark eyeliner, wearing the purple tank top,” I said. Jack then stifled a laugh.

“Ask her if the guy she went home with had poorly taken care of curls,” he said offhandedly. I did and set my phone on the table as I continued eating my brunch.

A couple minutes later my phone lit up with a notification.

yeah, that is *oddly* specific, how did you know?

“Yeah he is,”

“Oh my god,”

“What?”

“She’s at my place.”

“You’re kidding,”

“She went home with my brother, you’ve been in the same place all night,” he said and I couldn’t help but nearly double over as I started laughing. The entire reason I’d crashed was because she had ditched me and now it turns out we’d been in the same apartment the whole night.

“Oh that’s so fucking funny,” I said once I could breathe again. I shot off a text to Anna.

I’m still downtown, I’ll meet you at the train station in a half hour if you want?

deal.

I finally put my phone back in my pocket and we finished up brunch with a companionable edge. By the time the waiter came back to clear our dishes we were getting close to having to negotiate the bill.

“So…” I started to say.

“I’m paying,”

“You didn’t even—“

“I was never gonna let you pay, my mom raised me better than that.” He said. 

“At least let me cover for my coffee?”

“Sadie, don’t worry about it,” he said with a tone that got me to drop it. Like I wasn’t going to be able to win this no matter how I negotiated it. As the waiter came back with the bill and Jack handed over his card I said a quiet thanks which got a grin out of him. Brain, pick a struggle, we cannot be enamored by this boy after waking up on his couch in a first meeting we can barely remember. He finished paying and we got up to leave and I did my best to keep my internal argument off my face as we did.

I managed to make it to the street corner before I was willing to confront the fact that I had to actually leave and go back to campus, and Jack had to… wait. Hang on. 

The coffee had started to kick in and things were finally lining up. I knew I had to have gotten into school for some reason right?

“Oh shit,”

“What?” He asked with a tilt of his head and okay fine I’ll admit it brain he’s cute, but the realizations that my brain was finally having made it so that this was never going to happen again.

“You’re a Devils player,” I said as I smacked my own forehead and Jack started laughing. 

“You only just figured that out?”

“Leave me alone, I haven’t had a full night's sleep in like a week,” I joked, still covering my face a little. Jack carefully moved me out of foot traffic and gently pulled my hands away from my face.

“Is that a deal breaker?” He asked.

“What?”

“Me being a hockey player?”

“What, why?”

“Well, I thought that went well all things considered and I was gonna ask for your number to hopefully do dinner sometime.” He said with a soft smile, letting his hand fall into mine. I thought it over, between the fact that he was indeed cute, that he was nice, and funny, and asking with such an expression that seemed that, if he wasn’t trying to convince me he was cool and at least a little normal, he’d be rocking on his heels about; and the mere fact that he took me out to brunch after offering to let me crash on his couch. It was pretty much enough in the category of good signs that I was inclined to say:

“It’s not a deal breaker,” and he grinned a little wider, “besides I was going to ask for your number anyway. I have to get your shirt back somehow.” I chuckled.

“Ah, keep it, I can always buy a new one.” He joked. I passed over my phone and he put his contact in before quickly texting himself and passing it back. I chuckled at his contact photo, a terribly taken close up of him, and saw that I had a text from Anna that she was at the station already.

“I guess I’ll talk to you to figure out scheduling?” I proposed with just a hint of awkwardness. 

“Yeah, I gotta check with my brother about some things and what have you.” 

“Okay,” I said with a little chuckle of disbelief. “Thanks for brunch, by the way.” I said.

“Thank you for agreeing and not sneaking out in the middle of the morning,” he replied with a bit of a chuckle that lit up his face. There was no good way to leave this, with a promise of something stronger, but still uneasy about what one's dynamic is in the now, “can I give you a hug?” He asked.

Oh thank god.

“Yeah, yes,” I said with a stumbled out laugh as he matched it before giving me a friendly “see you around” style hug. We parted with a half wave and I started making my way back to the train station.

I made it with a bit of a light jog as Anna dragged me in the direction of the platform so we could catch the train just pulling into the station. We quickly collapsed into seats before she finally turned to me.

“So… who's this?” She asked tugging on the sleeve of the clearly borrowed t-shirt.

“The guy who’s couch I crashed on last night. I made a comment about feeling gross about being in last night's clothes that he lent me a t-shirt.” Lent, gave, I wasn’t certain I wanted to broach that topic with Anna yet. Roommate first, acquaintances second. “How ‘bout you? Did you at least get coffee?”

“Yeah, he made a comment about his roommate being out so we ordered breakfast at his place, he was so nice.” She gushed. I watched as the realization crossed her face, “wait you said you’d tell me how you knew what he looked like when we met up,” she lightly wacked my arm with the back of her hand, “spill.”

I laughed and rubbed the back of my neck, “I was at breakfast with his roommate. Also known as his brother.” I said.

“Shut up! No fucking way,” she said with a laugh. We were getting looks from a few commuters in our immediate area and I tried to quiet her down. “That’s too funny,” she said in a slightly quieter tone. “Are you seeing him again?”

“Are you?” I countered.

“Maybe, he gave me his number, but I’m not certain.” She said, “Now tell me you coward,”

“Maybe,” I countered and she groaned at my dramatics.

“Insufferable, you fink.” She joked. I grinned a little as we continued some small talk before I agreed to let her rest on my shoulder until we got to the campus’ stop. 

I fished my phone out and figured that I should probably try and organize a date huh?

[bts-hyperfixation]

Sensual Synthetics

Tired of your family getting on at you for not having a partner, you drunkenly lament to Taehyung. Your friend suggests you purchase an escort android through his favourite service.

Prologue

Chapter one

Your new toy arrives from the factory

2 weeks later your new friend arrives fully assembled in a pod charging station. 

You peer at him through the little glass window at the front. 

The online images didn't do him justice. The mere visage of this man left you a little breathless. He just looks like a regular guy sleeping, a regular guy but much much more attractive. You'd expected him to look a little bit mechanic, cold, maybe hard. But he looked remarkably soft and warm, and real. Like blood was actually pumping through his veins instead of coolant. It made you really question the last couple of dates that Taehyung had brought to various events and dinners. 

And you definitely didn’t think your family was going to believe you could pull a man like that out of nowhere.

Your fingers linger apprehensively over the latch that would release him, unsure you really want to go ahead with this. You itched to get a closer look, to inspect your perfect man, but if you opened the box you would never be able to return it… him…

As if on cue, your phone rings.

Your mother's image is plastered across your caller ID and you let out an exacerbated sigh before picking up. 

"Good morning mu..."

"Have you heard?! Your cousin is getting married! That's the last one. Now it's just you. Why do you hate me?" She shrieks.

She has always had a tendency to overreact in these situations. You're sure it came from a good place but it came across a lot like nagging. 

"I've had it with your career first nonsense, I don't want you to spend your whole life alone, and more importantly, I don't want to be the only one without grandchildren."

You take them phone away from your ear and sigh dramatically. That increasingly annoying reminder that your mum’s siblings all had brand new bouncing babies in their lives and your mum does not. Once you had suggested perhaps she could have another… it had not been a well-received quip…

"Mum, we've been over this. I'm not ready to settle down with a family."

"Don't give me that, you were two years old by the time I was your age."

"The world has changed Mum, plus lots of people are fine alone."

"Yeah well, you're not one of them. I've found you a man! Mrs Turner's boy is coming back to town and he always had a thing for you."

You can picture him now. Not ordinarily one to judge, it was difficult not to find Francis Turner to be the most repulsive guy on the planet. In high school he picked his nose and would wipe it on the backs of people's chairs, his scabs were always bleeding from where he picked them, and his hair was so long and unbrushed that the smell alone was enough to knock you out.

You glance back through the window at the sleeping visage of perfection. The plump lips and swooping fringe draw you in. Your fingers reach to play with the latch once more. You absently pick at the tape holding it shut.

"Mum if I get a date for the wedding will you drop this?"

"Absolutely, but where are you going to find a date, the wedding is in two weeks time. And he has to be a respectable man, Taehyung does not count! I don't trust that boy."

"I know Mum, you’ve made your feelings about Taehyung very clear. Besides he isn’t going to settle down either,” you point out “Why is she getting married so fast anyway?”

“Says it’s a whirlwind romance, can’t possibly wait another month your aunt says,”

“So we should expect a baby shower invite in seven months time,” you roll your eyes.

“Quite possibly, but that’s beside the point. The point is you are alone!”

“Yes mum, thank you for the reminder. Look I’ve got to go, I’ll see you at the wedding,”

“See you soon love, and remember, no Taehyung,”

“Yes mum, bye mum,”

You hang up the phone before she can get another word in, tossing the device onto the sofa behind you.

You rip off the parcel tape that's keeping the latch shut and pop open the pod. 

Immediately the android's eyes flip open, bright blue circles whirring as he loads. They settle and the blinding light fades to a duller pulsing blue that still looks unnatural.

"Good day, my name is Jimin, I am your personal fantasy assistant. Please, how can I serve you today?" 

His voice is so smooth, if it weren't for the introduction you would never suspect his origin. 

He is flawless.

Now you can see his entire body you are even more sure that no one is going to believe he is with you willingly, he better be programmed as a damn good actor.

"Uh.... hi." You wave awkwardly at the man as he steps forward out of the box.

You shuffle back as he moves toward you. He reaches out a hand for you to take and waits patiently for your brain to catch up with his gesture. You shake his hand as quickly as you can, gasping at how real he feels to touch.

"Would you like an explanation of my abilities?" He asks, tilting his head as if taking you in.

"Yes please." You answer, glad to have time to think. 

"Alright," he takes your arm and leads you to your sofa. 

He plumps the pillow behind you and then perches on the edge of your coffee table so he can look at you properly while he talks.

"I am a J-1-min model android, once again you may call me Jimin. I was created by Build-a-bot LLC for the purpose of giving you pleasure. Pleasure looks different for all users. I am programmed to clean, cook, and be a general caretaker as well as to look after all sexual gratification needs you may have. I have an AI system built in and will learn as we get to know one another in order to serve you better. Is there anything specific you would like to know, or anything about me you would like to modify? You can change my name if you like?"  

"Do you like your name?” You ask

“If you like my name, then I like my name,”

“Okay, I like your name��� Can you change your eyes? The blue is very... bright."

"If that would make you happy I can, what colour would you like?"

He cycles his eyes through a selection of different colours that span the entire rainbow. You consider for a moment what might look the best with the other features you had given him.

"Do you have a favourite?" He asks as they land back on the original blue.

"I think brown? Dark brown maybe? What do you think?" 

'I like whatever you like... Miss?"

"Sorry, Y/n, call me Y/N"

"Of course Y/N, my eyes will remain dark brown until you ask for me to change them. Now, what can I do for you today?"

You tasked him with cooking breakfast, there weren’t a lot of groceries in the house, but it gave you time to make a call to Taehyung, something you perhaps should’ve done before opening the box. You watch him long enough to make sure he won’t destroy your house and excuse yourself to the bedroom. 

Naturally, Taehyung doesn’t pick up, it’s far too early for him to be awake. It’s likely he only went to sleep as the sun was rising. So you send him a brief message hoping he will get back to you when he can. 

Jimin calls out from the kitchen to tell you that he has finished cooking and you trail back in to sit at the breakfast bar where a tall stack of pancakes waits for you. He watches you closely as you bring the fork to your lips.

"Is it satisfactory?" He asks as soon as you swallow. 

"It's delicious... Are you going to watch me the entire time?"

"Not if you don't want me to... what would you like me to do instead."

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” You shrug.

“Can I assume I am your first android?” He asks although it seems more like he is making an observation than actually asking.

“You are, yes. And honestly, I’m not sure I really meant to order you, I was drunk at the time,” You admit.

“Does my presence make you uncomfortable?”

He looks sad when he asks, disappointed. You find yourself with the urge to reach out and comfort him. Your hand goes up to his cheek of its own accord. You’re again shocked to find he is warm and soft, not sure what you had really been expecting, maybe something more metallic. He feels like any other person you have ever met. 

“You don’t make me uncomfortable, just… unsure,”

He nods curtly and turns to do the dishes he had left in the sink, gathering up your plate as soon as you are finished. He searches through your cupboards putting things away in their places and learning the layout. When he comes across your cleaning supplies, he gathers those on to the counter and takes stock of what you have. He then reaches into the far depths of the cupboard under your sink and produces a hot pink apron your mother had bought that you had long forgotten about.

He dons the garment, tying a pretty little bow in the back and pulls on some brand-new rubber gloves. You stifle a giggle as he turns back to address you, looking thoroughly ridiculous in his business casual outfit and frilly apron.

“It is suggested in my standard programming that I should clean when not given instruction, is that okay?” 

“Be my guest,” you gesture.

“Fantastic, I will clean out here and the bathroom first,”

He wastes no time dusting through your living room, you decide to leave him to it and hide in your bedroom. Your phone remains undisturbed on your bed, Taehyung still not having awoken.

You stand awkwardly in your room, unsure of what might be the best thing to do while you wait for him to finish. Ideally, you would’ve spent the entire morning lounging around telling yourself you really needed to get some work done, eventually pulling yourself to your desk by mid-afternoon. Now it felt like you should get some work done too, you didn’t want your android to think you were lazy after all. 

You slip your headphones on and open up your writing app and your emails. Dismayed, you find a new selection of rewrites from your editor awaiting you, it seems your latest article was far from satisfactory. 

It takes you an hour to get through each little red underline, changing words and rephrasing paragraphs. As soon as you’ve hit send on the email back to your employer, you dip your head down onto your desk shutting your eyes for a moment. Your headphones slide down and land on the table with a soft thump. You reach to put them back on but you can hear something melodic coming from the living room.

Pressing your ear to the door, you listen carefully. It’s Jimin, humming to himself. His voice is rather pretty and you find yourself leaning against the door trying to hear him better. Just as you become flush to the wood, the door swings open and you tumble to the floor.

“I’m sorry, i should’ve knocked,” Jimin says. 

The robot stoops down and gathers you in to his arms as if you weigh less than nothing. Instinctually you wrap your hands around his neck to keep yourself stable, although it doesn’t seem like you need to. He carries back into your room and deposits you gently onto the bed.

“Did you get hurt?” He asks, eyes scanning your body.

“No… just my pride,” You answer, sitting yourself up.

He looks confused by the statement but you just shake your head and smile lightly to reassure him. He nods and walks out of the room without another word.  You stay where he put you slightly bewildered by his abrupt exit, but he is back before you can think about it for too long.

“Here is some water, it should help,” he states.

Instead of passing you the glass, he holds it to your lips and supports your neck with his other hand encouraging you to let him help you drink. He doesn’t really give you the opportunity to refuse so you let him feed you half of the glass until he seems satisfied. 

Jimin finally places the glass on the bedside table and gently pushes you forward, slotting himself in behind you on the bed. He places his legs on either side of you and encourages you to lean back and use him as a pillow.

“Are you comfortable?” He asks.

“I was,” You gulp

You can feel every synthetic muscle in his torso pressed up against your back. With his height so similar to your own it feels like you slot in perfectly, you’d be lying if you told him you were uncomfortable physically, but emotionally? This brought up far more issues than it actually solved.

“I’m sorry, my programming suggested you might find this to be comforting. Would you prefer a pillow?”

“No, this is… this is okay,”

He hums as if he were pleased and his hands land on your shoulders, fingers pressing expertly into the soft tissue. A moan tumbles from your lips before you can catch it and he hums contentedly once more.

Next

Masterlist

[rotten-dog-teeth]

I need to say something, as an archivist.

Please look after your books. Please. Don't throw them in the bin, don't tear pages out, don't screw them up. If you don't want them anymore, either sell them, or donate them, whether it be to a charity shop, a library, or a school or university.

I rescue old books and look after them. I've just been sorting through the most recent lot that I've gotten, and there were books in there - that the original owners wanted to just throw away - that had survived over 100 years, and predated the first (1st) world war.

That in itself, is amazing. Because what most people don't know/realise, is that so many books did not survive the world wars, especially the second (2nd) one. Not only were countless libraries destroyed in bombings, but so many books were burned and eradicated under the Nazi regime.

This is still an issue today, with book burnings and bannings still taking place, such as in the USA; as well as countries being bombed and seiged, destroying so many books containing records of those people's history, culture and lives, such as in Palestine.

I've found books that were printed the year the second (2nd) world war ended, first (1st) editions filled with documents from the war, detailing everything that happened, every action that was taken, everywhere they went, every letter that was exchanged, every soldier that was felled. Documents that would have otherwise been destroyed, if not during the war by the opposition, then by the people who wrote it in the first place, to try to hide certain aspects of the war to paint themselves in a better light, or cover up certains tragedies or mistakes. These are pivotal resources for historians, especially books for time periods less written about/well-documented.

So often, I see books that are on their last legs, falling apart, and most people's reactions are to just throw them in the bin. This breaks my heart. Not only are you destroying a record of something so human - whether that be stories told to children to help them sleep at night, records of a huge historical event that meant the world to the people of that time, poems written by someone painfully in love so long ago - but snuffing out the life that book lived.

Every book I rescue, I check for two (2) things: print date, and notes.

The print date is simple - it tells me how old the book is. But the notes are what I mean by the life of the book. So many books I find have hand-written notes in them, and they give you little hints of the life they've lived. Here are some real notes I've found in books:

"Peter, Chemistry department of [X] university" in a german-english dictionary of chemistry terminology. This book was a gift to a university student, he was studying chemistry, and probably either working with a German team, or maybe leaving home after university to go to Germany, or some other german speaking country. These kinds of books are really specific, and at the time of print (roughly the 50s or 60s if I remember correctly), you couldn't just search for it online (something a good portion of us have never known) - you had to find a specialist book shop or find one that could track it down for you. Whoever got this book, cared about the person they gave it to, and went through the effort of finding this specific book for Peter before he left home. I would guess maybe a family member. Maybe they never saw him again.

"For our 50th anniversary - Annie & Frank" in a little homemade books of recipes. This book had been put together over several years, presumeably over the course of this couple's marriage - 50 years. This book was probably an anniversary gift from one of the two (2) partners to the other. So many recipes, lovingly collected and kept over decades. Probably having been cooked for eachother a hundred times over. These people probably had such fond memories of being sat at the dinner table - maybe just the two (2) of them, maybe with family, friends, and other company - eating the warm, homemade meals from these recipes. Making and sharing food with someone is often a very intimate and loving thing to do. I like to think they loved eachother so very much.

[A double-sided A4 love letter] found in a book of poetry. The letter was faded, and most of it was indistinguishable, but there were little bits that I could read, and they were lovely. This was written more recently (it contained more modern dialect), but was still so precious all the same. I wonder what that book lived through. A spark. An anxious confession. A romance. Perhaps a break-up too. Maybe that's why the book ended up in the donations. I imagine that the recipient of the love letter and poetry forgot the letter was even in there. The book was probably a gift from their partner - maybe specially picked, perhaps because the recipient liked poetry, or that specific poet at least - and that's probably why they used the letter as a bookmark in it. I still think about those people sometimes, where they ended up. Where are they now?

Those are just some of them, and I hope you understand why I care so much about these little bundles of paper and ink. They tell a story, not just in what's printed, but in their age, their condition, in the little notes people leave behind. Even simply the fact that some books' pages are so thin and smooth from being flicked through and read by an adoring reader so many times that the page corners have been worn thin by stroking fingers.

You may feel like nobody cares about that one book you have sitting in the corner of your room, and that "there are thousands of those books, this one doesn't matter", or that it's "ruined" because of that little message your mum wrote on the front page when she got it for you, but what you don't realise is that future historians and archivists are begging you to look after it, and make sure it's given to a good home. It may end up being the last surviving copy of that book. That little message could tell them so much that you don't even notice right now.

It breaks my heart finding old books with pages missing, which may never be recovered - the contents lost to time forever. Finding books whose spines are falling apart and pages are moulded from dampness - having been neglected for years. Finding books whose pages are worn and faded, yellowed and bent - just left to rot.

It fustrates me when I find books that have been poorly or just outright incorrectly handled. You can tell if a book's from a school library, because it has tape all over the cover, hiding the face of the book with a permanent dust jacket, because apparently they decided it ought to stay hidden; because it has check-out pages glued over the print date, because the day somebody borrowed it is more important than the book's birthday. I love libraries, and they're so important, but sometimes I wish some of them took better care of their books.

This is my plea to the people, and love letter to the books.

Please. I love you.

[poppylovestowrite]

Can I ask for gakushuu headcannons?

Gakushu Asano Headcanons

It's no secret to anyone that Gakushu is described as a perfectionist. 

He is skilled at everything because that's how his father raised him to be.

This sort of parenting left Gakushu to have quite an unpleasant childhood.

He never grew up watching any cartoons.

His father never has taken him to any amusement parks.

Not even a playground.

Whenever someone talks about something fun in their childhood, Gakushu has a hard time relating. 

The most childlike thing he has done was playing with a few board games or reading a couple of children's books. 

His father never once rewarded him for any of his accomplishments.

Because to his father, he is expected to win.

The first time he received a confession was when he was in first grade.

It was valentines day, and the girl admitted he was cool and really liked him.

Gakushu barely batted an eye and told her, "I don't like chocolate, and you spelled my name wrong. Why would anyone like you?"

Obviously, he has gotten better at rejecting people the older he got. 

When he wanted to become the student council president in middle school, Gakushu won by a landslide. 

The girls who worship him think it would be a dream to work with.

Except it really isn't. 

You have to put in just as much work as he does because he hates slackers.

At least they get the best grade in the end.

Gakushu has formed several study groups with anyone from the Kunugigaoka building. 

Just so long as they're willing to put the work in. 

When Gakushu wants a break from studying, he either goes outside for a stroll or reads a book he likes. 

Because of his dad, he has developed a fear of centipedes. 

Gakushu has never once touched a video game.

He restrains himself from cursing or just any vulgar language.

When he is extremely mad he might slip out an f-bomb or two.

Quite a few celebrities follow him online.

Both female and male models mostly. 

You won't catch him eating any type of cheap food or any convenience store food. 

That goes for clothing as well.

His whole wardrobe is all from famous and expensive brands. 

Despite the amount of popularity Gakushu has, there are only a couple of people he would even consider a close friend he could trust.

Ren would be his closes friend.

There are people who he respects, but not many he can actually feel vulnerable around.

Though he does form a friendship with Isogai during high school. 

If Gakushu ever wanted to date anyone, he wanted it to be someone who shares the same intelligence and comes from a family of wealth as well.  

Although, relationships are the last things on his mind.

In Gakushu's house, there is a whole room filled with trophies and medals for everything he has won. 

As skilled as he is in many fields, Gakushu wouldn't say enjoys those activities itself. 

He just likes the feeling of winning.

[dreamingdormouse]

Life could use a happy personal story today. Someone online had written a note about edible flowers and romantic fluff, and it made me think of this story from a while back.

First, a bit of background information - I am aware of edible flowers, have been for years, and as a teenager and college student, I liked in particular rose petals. Different breeds TASTE different, and my grandpa's garden (which was on my walking path to somewhere I went at least once a week) had my favorite, a rose that tasted like raspberries. I tried to only pick one petal a week at most, not wanting to spoil the appearance of his roses. (I dislike "rosewater" flavored desserts or pastries because they taste wrong to me, fresh petals taste different... or maybe they're just using the wrong breed of roses.)

Also, my now-husband and I got crushes on each other as very young teenagers who lived in different cities. We continued to live in different cities for the next eight years and kept in contact first by letter and then by phone - we had to buy long-distance calling cards once we started doing that, because this was before either of us had cell phones and we weren't allowed to rack up long-distance charges on the family landlines. We didn't even live in the same city until we got married, but we did take every opportunity to visit each other's cities. I got my cell phone at 17 and I was so happy that, although I had a limited amount of minutes, long distance and local were the same.

Anyway, one July day many years ago, the guy who would eventually become my husband planned to propose to me. We were both in the same city for a big thing, and he had a whole plan worked out - there was a special annual event that evening that was fairly formal-dress, and in our microculture, the event itself was a large-group or family thing, not a date thing. But it was pretty common to go on a date after that particular event if you were dating, or go out with a group of friends if you were single. So he was going to take me out to a restaurant, bring the jewelry box, and propose. I knew about the event, knew we were going out to dinner, didn't know he planned to propose then in particular, but suspected that he was thinking about proposing in general. (He's incredibly sweet and absolutely brilliant, but not actually very subtle.)

Meanwhile, we had the rest of the day off, and both of us could use a few more pieces for our dressier wardrobes, including for the event that evening. So we agreed to go to the mall together, and I packed a picnic lunch.

We had fun making each other laugh while we picked stuff out and hunted through the clearance racks, then we went outside and found a pocket park near the mall. We picked a bench with a wall of rose bushes behind it, kind of hidden from passage by, and had our picnic lunch. It was tasty and the scenery was gorgeous and we were very much in love and surrounded by roses. And my then-boyfriend was absolutely TORN. He had a plan, and this wasn't it, and the jewelry box had been left behind - but the setting was magical!

He was still internally debating when - I honestly don't remember if it was sparked by the conversation or if it was just spontaneous, but I think I was emphasizing something I'd just said - I pulled a petal off one of the roses behind us and ate it.

Apparently this was the last straw. Something along the lines of "Argh, I love you so much, you're ABSOLUTELY INSANE, why are you like this???" He kinda rolled his eyes up to the sky and gave up on his plans, got down on one knee right there and proposed (without the little metallic accessory) and of course I said yes.

We've been married for roughly a decade and a half, we have two kids, and have seen a lot of good things and bad things happen. And for whatever reason, the honeymoon phase never really ended. Our friends called us their "IRL fluff couple" before I knew what that meant, and he STILL thinks eating that petal was adorable, but rolls his eyes at the same time.

[mecchantheotaku]

I'm sick and overwhelmed with bad memories, so I wanted to get it all off my chest. You don't have to read it or believe me, and there's so many trigger warnings I don't even know where to begin with tagging, but I need to let it all out. Read at your own risk.

My bad past began when I was very young, about three or four. I never really knew my dad back then, so the closest thing I had to a father was my brother's dad (we're half siblings with the same mum), and I don't really remember what happened back then, but my mum suggests that my emotions do remember, and she didn't sugarcoat what happened: my brother's dad would hit her. That's part of the reason she left him after only a couple of years. She thinks the emotional memories of witnessing that are what caused my fear of hostility, even when it's not directed at me.

Then I was diagnosed with autism at a young age and there was a lot of hard work involving me. My primary school life was all over the place, and I felt like I didn't fit in with either the special needs classes or the "normal" classes. This feeling of not belonging in either group has been consistent and I still feel it even to this day.

When I entered secondary school I was excited. It was a new experience, and I got to stay overnight for four nights a week. And the first year turned out okay. But come the second year when i was about 12-13, I started learning more about social cues, and I began to realise that despite this being a specialist school for autistic kids, that many of the other kids found me weird and made fun of me.

I always had issues controlling my temper, and back then, it was at its worst. I would have violent outbursts, and my bullies used that to their advantage. They would deliberately wind me up to get me sent to isolation. It was painful. And it eventually got so bad I hurt a close friend. Since then, I have made an active effort to not get into any sort of conflict.

In addition, I never got to learn the life skills I needed to know. At first I thought it was because I was staying four nights a week, but after my post-school life I came to realise that even if I did go home every day, I wouldn't have learned those skills.

And that's not even the worst thing about my school life. Back then, I was easily taken advantage of. There were five separate people in my life back then who would use my naivete to their advantage and get me to do things no one my age should ever be doing. I didn't realise how bad it was then. But now I do, and I feel disgusted in myself for it.

In addition, I discovered I liked boys and girls, so I came out as bisexual (I didn't understand asexuality at the time, so really, I discovered I was biromantic but didn't know) and my mum made fun of me for it, so I pushed myself so far back into the closet I gaslit myself into thinking I was straight and just looking for attention. I didn't get out of that state until I was 18 years old.

When I graduated secondary school, my.bad school life didn't end for a good few years after. I went to three separate colleges, and all of them ended on bad notes. The first one I personally hated and wanted to leave. The second one couldn't handle me and expelled me. And the third one eventually kicked me out for taking too long to make any progress. After that, I just gave up.

I was also struggling with loneliness and despair until I met a few people online who I'm still friends with to this day. They saved me back then.

After I left my last college is when the most nightmarish thing of all happened. My mum got a new boyfriend.

And while he seemed fun at first, things gradually changed with my family to the point it felt like a shadow of its former self ever since he arrived. My mum became a complete wreck, my brother left the house, we would never talk to anyone outside the house anymore... it felt like I'd been transported to a different world.

In addition, my stepdad (I will call him that because I do not want to refer to him by name) was being extremely pushy, manipulative and jealous. It felt like he was taking over the house. I put up with him because he would do nice things for me all the time... but then I slowly began to notice something horrible. He wasn't being nice to me. He was grooming me.

He would make all sorts of inappropriate comments and even sometimes touch me inappropriately despite me telling him not to, and when he eventually gifted me lacy panties (which he admitted to having a fetish for) and a freaking vibrator (I had told him I was asexual which he would deny). I felt unsafe in my own safe space.

My long-distance boyfriend then told me to tell my brother about this. So I did. And he immediately took me out of that house, and now I'm at my grandma's house, trying to recover from everything I described above.

And it's so hard. I've wanted to escape this world several times throughout all of this, and I still want to now. But I can't. My body won't let me.

And that's everything. I'm sorry for this post being so long and so full of horrible stuff. You don't have to believe me. I just wanted to say it.

[thedoubleztv]

In 2017, I Lost Myself.

The last 7 years of my life haven't been easy because of one particular event on one specific day.

The closest person in my life was Deanna. She wasn't just my ex-girlfriend, she was my best friend in the world. We had known each other since the Spring of 2011 and were together for almost 2 years between 2012 and 2016. Unfortunately, my job schedule really tore things apart in the lead to the initial breakup in December 2013.

Despite that breakup and the final breakup that happened in February 2016, we never left each other's side. After we broke up for the final time, we continued to immediately talk as though nothing had happened. Not the most common thing to have happen when a couple breaks up, but it's a great thing to remember.

However, everything fell apart in September 2017.

On September 10, 2017, I talked to Deanna through the Kik Messenger app. She had adopted a black cat that she named Luna (most likely named after the black cat from Sailor Moon, which she was a fan of), was dating a guy named Brandon, and she was getting excited about becoming an aunt in November.

I didn't know at the time that it was the final conversation that I'd ever have with her.

Between the later part of September and mid-October, I tried to contact her a handful of times to talk to her, but never received a response on any messages that I had sent her way. The messages were delivered, but neither read nor replied to. That was completely baffling to me because she always read my messages the day that they were sent to her, at the very least.

Around mid-October of 2017, everything crumbled from within me. I was playing on my Xbox One prior to doing a live stream on YouTube and checked my friends list to see who was online at the time. When I checked Deanna's profile, it simply said that her status was "Offline" without an additional note of when she was last online or what she was doing the last time she logged into her account. This was the point where I knew something was off.

She wasn't getting on Xbox, wasn't replying to my Kik messages, and I hadn't heard a single peep from her for a little over a month by that point. So, I had to figure this out on my own.

I had remembered her mentioning that she had another Facebook account, exclusively for family and friends that she had known from high school/college. So, I used Facebook to search for that profile to see if there was any activity on there to hopefully figure out what the cause of the silence was. And when I did that search, I found 2 things:

Her other profile and her obituary.

It turns out, she had passed away on September 15, 2017, 5 days after I had last heard from her.

Upon pulling up her obituary, I fucking lost it. I almost fell over out of my chair, losing all control of my emotions with the realization that the closest person in my life was suddenly gone and so soon after our final conversation. The only piece of information that I've ever received about her passing was that she passed away in her sleep, which still eats at me to this day.

Why in the ever-loving hell is my best friend gone and how could she pass away in her sleep at the age of 27?! That has eaten at me constantly for the past 7 years and I don't think that I'll ever get an answer to that question, no matter how much time goes by.

One thing that I still vividly remember was our song, "Amazed" by Lonestar. That song was a song that chose to represent our relationship and I couldn't listen to it for 3 years after she passed. I tried listening to it one day on either her birthday or the anniversary of her passing and got so emotional, it lead to me getting out of my chair and punching my closet door in frustration.

My best friend in the world, the closest person in my life, and my biggest supporter was gone in the blink of an eye.

I truly believe that a huge part of my died when she passed because I haven't felt the same ever since. I'd honestly give anything to bring her back because I'm so tired of feeling hurt.

Deanna, I love you. Never forget that.

[survey--s]

634.

Name all the pets you’ve ever had. I never had any growing up, but as an adult I've had Gizmo and Athena who were sibling tabby cats. I had to leave them with my ex when we split up, though. Then when Mike and I got together, we got Layla (a little black kitten), Purrlock (a black rescue cat) and Toby (black kitten). We lost Layla in May and we now have Simba who is a ginger tabby kitten. We also have Archie the beagle who is five.

Are you on break, or do you still have a couple days of school left? I haven't been in any kind of education since 2011.

Do you like Stephen King novels? I've actually never read any of them, or seen any of his films.

Have you ever had a macaroon? Yes, and a macaron. Macaroons remind me of my childhood.

One of my friends dislikes animals in general. Are you like her? No. My dad is one of those people though, lol. He tolerates my love of animals but it's why I was never allowed a pet growing up.

Do you prefer being on time, or do you not mind being late? I HATE being late. I'm always early or on time unless I have absolutely no other choice.

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? (ex: skydive) Travel to outer space.

Have you ever made a bucket list? No.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Chemistry.

How many cell phones have you gone through up till now? I think seven or eight, maybe. Which is pretty good going considering I've owned some kind of phone for the last 20+ years.

Italian food or Chinese food? I love both. I think overall I prefer Italian though.

Do you have more than the standard earlobe piercings? Yes - three in each earlobe, one in my right cartilage, my nose and my belly button (though I don't wear jewellery in the latter anymore as it kept getting infected).

Ever studied a foreign language? I did a degree in French, and I also studied German for a while. My dad taught me a bit of Italian as a kid too.

Don’t you hate it when your family eats all the ice cream at home? My mum always used to do that and it drove me insane.

Ever been in a near death situation? If so, what happened? Hmm, no, I wouldn't say so.

Do you like to make flash cards when you study? No.

Favorite flavor of gum? Spearmint.

Do you tend to be frugal, or are you more comfortable spending money? I have no real need to be frugal as we don't struggle financially. But saying that, I'm not really that materialistic and only tend to spend money on stuff I need, or stuff that's practical/for the house.

Do you have a connection to any religion? No.

Ever played a team sport, or are you not sporty at all? I was on all the sports teams in school but I never really enjoyed it.

Do you put posters on your bedroom walls? No. I did as a teenager though.

Do you sleep with one leg sticking out of the covers? Sometimes, yeah.

I have extremely weird, frightening dreams. Do you? Not frightening, but my dreams are definitely on the weird side.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? No, because I am not. <--- haha yep, same.

Ever been to the Big Apple? If not, do you want to visit? No, but I'd love to visit one day.

Opinion on Gangnam Style? It's catchy and a pretty good song, really.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No.

Did you ever watch the Lizzie McGuire movie? Yep, multiple times ha.

If you did, do you know what the guy that played Gordo looks like now? (ew) Why ew?That's harsh, lol. Anyway, I've just googled him and he looks normal to me?

How many email accounts do you have? Two.

Ever shamelessly played Farmville on Facebook? No, I never really got into Farmville.

Are you a big fan of dessert? Not really. There are a few kinds I love but generally I'd rather have a starter.

Ever had a brush with the paranormal? If so, describe. No.

Were you one of the popular kids in high school? Nope, definitely not lol.

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. I don't really strongly dislike anyone. I either like you or I'm generally apathetic towards you lol.

Do you know the band Vampire Weekend? I've heard of them, yeah.

What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's a dodgy fucker. He's been accused of all sorts of shit.

In general, do you prefer going out or staying home? It really depends, there is no "in general" because there are so many different variables.

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? I honestly never got into trouble at school.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? No.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? Why would it bother me?

Favorite pair of shoes? Probably my black ballet shoes or my grey ankle boots.

Where were you on 9/11? In French class in year...8, it must have been. Any food in particular you just can’t get enough of? Pizza, bread, potatoes.

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? No, they weren't really a thing here.

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? I do. It sucks. Yeppp. I hate it.

Are you a fan of British Youtubers? (Marcus Butler, JacksGap, etc) I don't watch YouTubers of any nationality, lol.

Jalapeños: yay or nay? Nay. I can't stand spicy food.

Did you ever play Minecraft? I tried and it just gave me a headache lol.

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I played it a few times.

Favorite concerts you’ve been to? Did you scream until you were hoarse? Plain White T's or Lily Allen, and no.

So where were you when the Boston Marathon bombing happened? I don't remember. At home probably, or work?

Rainy days on the weekend: yay or nay? It depends whether I have plans or not.

Do you look down on girls that wear shorts with Uggs? No, but then again, nobody wears Uggs anymore.

Californian girls talk and dress a certain way, don’t they? I mean, sure, but that's true of people from any part of the country.

Ever crushed on a teacher? If so, what subject did he/she teach? No. I never understood that lol.

Ever take an art class? If so, what’d you think? I did art in school until GCSE's. I quite liked it.

[books-and-catears]

Hi darling, I'm not sure if your request are open at the moment bc your bio says no but your post says yes so if they're closed please ignore this.

But if they're open, can I request the brothers and side characters reaction to Solomon being MC's long lost grandpa??? who died on a war something idk

Like when they arrive to the devildom they take one look at Sol and are like 'I know u from somewhere, just don't remember from where...' and after a couple months or so they go to visit their family in the human realm and they send a message to everyone like 'I know where I've seen Solomon before 😐😐😐' along with an old photo of the wedding between their grandma and Solomon, turns out he is, indeed, their Grandfather who left one day and never came back

WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE HILARIOUS ASKS!!?? Oh my god 😂😂😂 Y'all are precious I love you so much!

Solomon about to be the dude who left to get milk and never returned AHAHHAHAA PLS

Everyone told you Solomon was shady in one way or another. But you sensed something different. The moment your eyes fell on his face - it was like it unlocked a childhood memory stowed away.

"I know you from somewhere..." You blurted out when he introduced himself.

"Perhaps we've met in human realm? I do travel a lot." He had simply said.

You took a picture of him with you when you returned home. Maybe your family could help refresh your memory. And they sure did.

That night everyone you knew in Devildom received a picture along with your text : "I know where I've seen Solomon before. These are my grandparents when they were young."

And attached was an picture of Solomon and a graceful young lady smiling at the camera.

"This is my grandpa who supposedly died at war and never came back home. -_-".

Lucifer almost chokes on his coffee as he reads your message. He disguises his laugh into a cough and shakes his head. He doesn't laugh but cannot help the snide smile on his face when he sees Solomon next time.

Mammon falls off the couch laughing. He remembers when you jokingly called him 'gramps' one time. Who knew that would come true? Addresses Solomon as MC Senior from then onwards.

Levi lets out a wild laugh and keeps repeating this story to his online friends. He was with Mammon when they got the text. Rants about how this is the plot of "My Love Rival Turned Out to Be the Grandpa of my Crush!"

Satan lets out an audible "Pffft-" as he gets the text. He gets genuinely curious about Solomon and starts interrogating him about anything and everything he did in his life: Why did he leave? Where was he all that time? Is he proud that his grandchild got his powers too? What do you mean Satans's being invasive?

Asmo cackles in front of the mirror as he reads your text and stares at the picture you sent him. Oh my Diavolo, is that really Solomon?! What is he wearing?! He really never had any sense of fashion did he?! Just wearing suspicious wizardy robes?! He should learn from his grandchild!

Beel just stares suprised. Solomon and you don't look very alike from a distance, but then he and Belphie didn't either. Gets low-key upset at the wizard for abandoning family and making up a lie about it.

Belphie just snickers sleepily. Looks like there's one less person he has to fight against for your attention. Snickers some more when you call him 'old man'. Now he calls him the same thing, even though Belphie is several millenia older.

Diavolo was highly suprised and amused. How wonderful! Two humans from the same family! Humans like being close to family isn't it? That too when it's long lost family!?

Barbatos just wears an all knowing smile as he talks to Diavolo. Of course, he knew. He knew about Solomon's life more than anyone else. He cheekily smiles at Solomon and asks about his grandchild whenever he gets the chance.

Simeon and Luke have too much with this whenever you came over to visit the Purgatory Hall later. Simeon insists you invite Solomon over for Thanksgiving and Christmas, your family after all? Luke also accidentally calls Solomon Grampa once in a while.

[myshyyangel]

Do you still remember me, Diego?

You probably forgot about me, as I did until 2 years ago. I have a horrible memory and for some reason nobody mentioned you again, “why did he leave?” I asked my grandmother. The only thing she could say was “his parents were really strict, that’s all I remember… Oh! and his hair, just like yours so beautiful, and he was so well-mannered, nobody believed he was from the same place as us! I can’t remember more than that…” this is what my grandma said a couple of months ago after I asked about you.

I am surprised she remembers you, my memory started coming back again after she said that; I could only remember your name back then.... you used to play with my hair a lot and I used to play with yours, I hated it. I remember your laugh, it was funny and contagious, apparently people used to say we look alike, and I am sure your parents didn’t like it. I remember how you were at our house from early morning until 11am and then would come back at around 1pm.

I go online trying to find out more about you. Did not find anything, not one single thing. “Diego A…, Diego B…, Diego C…, etc.” no single one of them was you, or maybe it was, and I just couldn’t remember your face 10 or 13 years after I saw you the last time… Now I remember your smile of course, and your big forehead, your laughter after it was mentioned, it started to come back, but not one of those profile pictures looked like you. not a single one.

I asked my other friends, whom I haven’t talked to in years, “you had another friend?”, I deserve it, all those years full of sarcasm, but yes, I did, my family remembers. you went to the same school as me, as my cousins, right? “No, we don’t remember, why are you asking?” Why am I asking. At first, I thought it was because I wanted to debunk the idea that you were an imaginary friend. Then, after I did, I wanted to find out what happened to you, the big question, why? why did you leave? what happened with your parents? are you okay? do you remember me?

Maybe you don’t. and that’s okay. I didn’t either. You wouldn’t believe all of the things that have happened since you left.

Two months later. Today I asked Patricia if she remembers you. She was my best friend in middle school until she left (just like you), the difference is Patricia was still in my life somehow, until high school that is. She had a baby, and I never met them, she went to the USA before I did, and I never saw her again. Then, she added me on social media, and then, she removed me from her list of friends. But I went ahead. “Hey, it’s been a long time, how are you?” no reply.

Two days later. No reply. I texted again. “Hey, I am sorry to bother but, do you remember Diego? I think he used to play with us and your car. You remember that big truck your parents got you, it was pink and blue I think(?). I know we haven’t talked since idk 2013? [smiley emoji face]” Send.

Hours and Hours later. Nothing.

A week later and I saw she left me on read. Maybe you didn’t go to school with us. I went into her friend list, and you are not there. Then maybe, somebody else used to play with us and Patricia's car, maybe, I was not good at making friends so they must have been her friend. I am not worried about them, they are not as important as you.

Three months later. Nothing still. I don’t have any memory back, nothing else comes back.

Two days ago, I decided to start looking again. None of my other friends seem to remember you. And the ones that live closed to us, I do not talk to them after the bullying I suffered in high school from them. I am older, of course I can defend myself, but I don't want to.

I went on Instagram, got a hold on my cousin's account. [typing] "Diego..." 12 different accounts. I clicked on all of them. Even those with a flag that is not ours. Country, I mean. One of them kinda resembles of you. I don't send a friend request. I just stared. Blank. Nothing comes to mind. Do I do this?

Why am I worried about you? Why have I been thinking about you? Why am I struggling to find you?

Maybe it’s because I remember you were my first crush, I realized it the day I remembered playing with your hair. And then I can’t stop thinking about how maybe you left because your parents didn’t like “that”. They didn’t like us; they didn’t like my family? I can tell. Whenever my grandma talks shit about a neighbor is because they were nasty as hell. And that is exactly what she says about your parents, my aunt too says it.

My grandma has changed a lot. After some of us came out to her. Being gay, your parents didn't want you to be that. that’s all it is. but we are in a different society now, we are grown. You are a year older than me. I don’t remember any of your birthdays, I don’t remember you on my birthday, I just remember some of you…

and so, all I want to know is if you are okay, did you get to do whatever you said you wanted to do growing up? did you have a good experience in high school? where did you go? why? do you think of me? do you remember me?

[mmilkbreadd]

—oh my god, they were roommates—

Masterlist | Next

╰┈➤ looking for a roommate.

╰┈➤ any gender, any age.

╰┈➤ contact tsukishima kei for more info.

[part one]

pairing: tsukishima x roomate!reader

genre: fluff.

word count: 1k

Tsukishima Kei never imagined he would be bankrupt at such a young age. Working in the museum and being a professional player in Sengai Frogs should be enough —or that was what he thought. But now, he found himself posting an ad online looking for a roommate to help him pay his monstrous rent.

Though he first considered his friend Yamaguchi instead of a stranger, he already had a flat of his own. So searching online was the only option left.

Tsukishima had interviewed a couple of applicants before you. However, they were not “ideal enough” to share an apartment with him —he was a perfectionist regarding tidiness and order. Therefore, whoever didn't match those conditions was not considered a viable option.

Still, you were not the exception.

The appointment was in a cafe near Tsukishima's apartment. You arrived ten minutes late because you got lost on the way there. Your hair was a mess, your clothes were soaking wet, and your shoes dirty, all caused by the great storm outside. Kei looked at you from head to toe, wondering how the hell you forgot to bring an umbrella with the awful weather Japan had these last few weeks.

“You're late,” he said. “I don't like tardiness.”

You quickly sped to the table and sat across from him, offering a huge smile —despite his dry words and imposing demeanor, you still hoped he would choose you.

“I'm sorry,” you replied. “I got lost coming here. I'm new to town, and the heavy rain wasn't helping at all!”

Tsukishima sighed, wishing Yamaguchi's flat flooded, so he could just move with him and save him from this agony. That was a rather self-centered thought, to be honest, but he couldn't care less about it.

“You are (L/N), (Y/N), I assume,” he said while glimpsing at some papers. “Your resume seems just fine, but it's not enough. And, I have to say, my first impression of you is not the best.”

You frowned at his words. At first sight, you saw that he wasn't the kindest and gentle, but you thought it was just a facade to scare the creepy applicants. You were not like that, though, so you realized he was always acted like you suspected —or at least that was your initial guess about him.

You could say both first impressions of each other weren't the best.

Tsukishima started questioning you about your life and routines, each question getting sassier and dense. You expected inquiries like “how's your family like?”, “What are your habits? or even “What do you like doing for fun?”. But instead, he asked you if you used the bathroom as slow as you arrive at meetings, if you liked strawberry shortcakes, and if you enjoyed dinosaurs' documentaries... Tsukishima Kei was definitely unique. And your hope had entirely disappeared as well.

The tension between the two of you seemed to increase at every strange question. Tsukishima's serious demeanor never left his face. You thought he looked pretty handsome, considering he hadn't smiled during the entire time you were with him. Yet you still succeed in observing him, concluding that he was indeed beautiful.

Tsukishima pushed his glasses up from time to time, and you noticed his large fingers. Blonde, sarcastic, and a bit of a douche —just your type. His words sounded bold and very blunt. Something about his rude attitude made him appealing as well.

Only imagine how his house looked. You bet it was cleaner than anywhere you've ever been, and really empty too.

When the interview ended, he thanked you for coming and let you go without any word left. Before retiring, you tried analyzing his facial expressions again, yet nothing on his appearance told you what he was thinking at that moment.

“You could be nicer next time, you know,”you said after you put on your coat. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, looking up from his glasses. “Maybe it'll be easier for you to find a suitable roommate. As you won't scare most of them away.”

Before he could answer, you rushed to the door and left, smiling to yourself. His snarky nature wouldn't tear you down in any way possible. You were strong, confident, and independent. Finding an apartment was easy for you, so a rude guy like him wouldn't ruin your chances nor confidence —even if you were a broke college student on a budget.

Narrowing his eyes as he watched you leave while thinking of a comeback to your words. Although he couldn't find one good enough.

Tsukishima was a little dazzled. None of the other candidates had stood up for themselves before. Maybe, after all, you weren't a bad option to pick. However, he wasn't going to tell you how impressive your response was. He knew you knew what you did. And he hated that, but he still had a few people to interview, so there was a chance someone would be better than you —if that was in any way possible.

Did he find you attractive? Possibly. That was the first question that popped in Tsukishima's mind when you first ran into the place. Even if you were a disaster because of the rain, you looked stunning anyway. You had managed to charm him, though he would never admit it. Your smile confused him, as he wasn't used to people being nice to him —mostly because he wasn't nice to them either.

Tsukishima couldn't take you out of his mind for the entire evening.

As days passed, you still struggled to find a place to stay, and motels weren't the best spot to sleep once you were there for weeks. Your back hurt, your spirit was a bit crushed, and money was slightly running out.

Perhaps it was the Universe, maybe it was the gods above, but a text message changed everything.

Unknown: This is Tsukishima Kei. You can move in this week.

Even on message, he was brief. Though you didn't care, finally, things were coming together for you.

Tsukishima Kei was going to be your roommate.

Crazy, right?

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic). 

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them. 

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal. 

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops) 

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is  lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed  he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown. 

XXI - 7.  Illusion powers  (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites. 

[impalas-r-important]

Branch Out - Chapter 1

Summary: Y/N left everything she's ever known, and Dean just wants to be left alone. With both of them trying to heal from heartache, they might just end up finding what they need in the last place they'd ever look.

Word count: 6219

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventually, maybe?)

Warnings: I don't think there are any for this chapter, but if you think i should add one, feel free to let me know!

A/N: I started this series a long time ago and just barely had the motivation to start it up again. I really love this series, and have been enjoying writing it. Let me know if you want a tag!

My Masterlist

Branch Out Masterlist

Thank heavens for GPS, there’s no way you would have found this place without step-by-step directions. A narrow gravel driveway branched off from the worn mountain road and wound to a homely cabin. You stepped out of your old pickup truck and pulled out the key the realtor had given to you. Buying a house sight unseen wasn’t the smartest idea and you second guessed your impulse decision as you took in the dense woods that were so foreign to you. The seasoned wooden boards of the porch creaked under your feet while you made your way to the door and let yourself into your new home. Dust rested gently on every ledge and the frigid January air was lined with a twinge of must from sitting unoccupied for so long, but something felt so promising about the sturdy structure.

A modest kitchen and living room made up most of the house with a bedroom and bathroom on either side of a small hallway. A small, metal woodburning fireplace sat just next to the backdoor and you had a feeling you would end up putting that to good use if you ever figured out how to use it.

Your hand was subconsciously touching the bruise that was prominent on your forearm and when you realized, you pulled your sleeve down to cover it. The decision to leave your family and friends behind was a heart-wrenching one, but you knew you had to make a change if you wanted to heal completely. You needed to do something for yourself, and you wanted a fresh start. A small cabin in the freezing cold woods of Idaho was about as far from what you knew to be normal as you could have gotten, but a seed of hope was planted firmly in your chest.

When a job posting for the assistant city accountant had fallen in your lap a few weeks back, you applied without thinking twice. A few online interviews later, you had secured the job and things fell into place effortlessly, as if some external force was paving your path to this small town. You bought this quaint home with the help of a local realtor, packed your things, and left the only home you had ever known in Arizona, despite the protests of your family. Not knowing what your future held was scary, but something about this place felt right from the moment you pulled in.

You had brought only what you needed to in hopes of making a quick escape, meaning you had only a mattress, some clothes and a few personal belongings. After working for a few years, you had a built up a good savings account and figured it would be easier to buy furniture once you got here instead of trying to move big pieces by yourself. It didn’t take long to move your things inside, and you felt grateful that you called ahead to have the power and water turned on so you could shower once you had unpacked what you needed for your first day on the job tomorrow. Anxiety sat like a rock in your stomach, so you skipped dinner and went straight to bed, burying yourself under a mountain of blankets to shield you from the winter chill that had settled in your bones.

Your nerves woke you up well before your alarm went off, so you dragged your feet across the frozen floor and pulled your clothes on quickly before digging through your boxes for some granola bars for breakfast. You leaned against the kitchen counter and began to make a list of things you would need to buy since you were essentially starting from scratch. Double checking the email that you had received with instructions for your first day, you took a deep breath and headed out.

City hall was a historic, two-story red brick building that was shared with the fire department. It looked like something out of a storybook, but then again, this whole town did. You pushed the door open and looked around at the empty lobby, checking your watch to make sure you weren’t crazy early. Rustic chairs lined the walls by the door, and a few empty desks were placed behind the tall front counter.

“Hello?” You asked, turning your head left and right to look for any signs of life.

“Oh!” A muffled voice responded, and distant footsteps quickly scuttled your way from the back room. “You’re here!” A pretty, dark haired girl gave a few excited claps as she made her way to you. “You must be Y/N. I’m Sarah. Sarah Blake.” She eagerly pulled you into a hug which caught you by surprise and she chuckled a bit to herself before taking a step back. “Sorry, my boyfriend says that my enthusiasm scares new people away. I’ve just been so excited since I heard they hired you. I’ve been praying for someone my age to come work around here for a long time.”

“Don’t apologize, you’re the first person I’ve met in town so it’s nice to see a friendly face.” Her warm welcome calmed some of your nerves.

“That’s right, you just moved in yesterday, huh?” You tiled your head in question, wondering how she knew that. “It’s a really small town, everyone knows everything, especially when it comes to new people. You’ve been the talk of the town the past little bit.” She shrugged. “Well, I’m the marketing/PR girl here, and we all just kind of pitch in with working the front desk. Come on back, let me give you the grand tour.”

Sarah led you around the corner and stopped at the first office on your left. “This is Ellen Singer’s office. You’ll be working under her, she’s the lead accountant.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “Hmm, she should be here by now. I bet her car is giving her trouble.”

A friendly voice called out to Sarah from down the hall and she motioned for you to follow her as she stepped just inside the end office which was significantly bigger than the rest.

“Y/N, this is Garth Fitzgerald, he’s the mayor. Garth, this is Y/N.” Sarah introduced you and he stood to shake your hand.

“It’s great to meet you, Mayor Fitzgerald.”

“Please, call me Garth.” You smiled and nodded. “We’ve been excited about you around here. I think you’ll make a great addition to our community.” His phone ringing broke the conversation. “Excuse me, ladies. Oh, and welcome to Wallace, Y/N!”

“Next up is Arthur Ketch, he’s the city planner. Sometimes he can be a little abrupt, but deep down he’s a big softie. Don’t let him scare you.”

He was on the phone, so he simply waved to you two as you passed. Sarah’s attention was drawn back down the hall when two police officers walked in. “Jody, Donna!” She hollered to them.

“Heya, kiddo! Who you got with you?” The blonde officer sent a warm smile your way.

“You must be Y/N!” The other responded.

“Oh, that’s right! I heard you were coming to town. I’m Donna and this is Sheriff Jody Mills. It’s so great to meet you.” She pulled you in for your second hug of the day.

“Everyone here is seriously so nice. I don’t know why I didn’t move here years ago!” You joked.

“Well listen, if you need anything, you can always come to me, okay?” Jody put her hand on your shoulder. “We’re all so excited to have a new face around.”

“Thank you. You’re all making this transition so much easier than I thought it would be.”

Sarah waved to the officers as they left and pulled gently on your arm. “Come on, let’s chat while we wait for Ellen.” She took a seat at one of the desks in the front and you sat across from her.

“Thanks for showing me around, it’s nice to know that I have a friend at work already.” Sarah’s eyes lit up when you called her your friend.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been dying for you to get here. I knew we’d get along.” She folded her arms and sat back in her chair proudly. “So, where did you move from?”

“Phoenix, Arizona.”

“And you moved to Idaho in the middle of January? Are you crazy? I would give anything to go lay out in the sun for an afternoon.”

“Yeah, I might be!” You laughed. “I guess I just needed a change, you know? It was just time to move onto the next chapter of my life.”

“I get that. I grew up here and couldn’t wait to leave for college, but as soon as I was gone, I missed this place.”

“I can see what you’re talking about. It has a good feeling to it here.”

“So, now to the juicy stuff.” Sarah leaned forward. “Are you dating anyone? Because there’s a whole pool of eligible bachelors I could set you up with here.”

“No, actually I just got out of something kind of messy, so I don’t think I’m really looking for anything at the moment.”

A sympathetic look was sent you way. “I’m sorry to hear that. But if you ever feel ready, you let me know, okay?”

“You will be the first. What about you? I heard you mention you have a boyfriend. Tell me all about him.”

A smile spread across Sarah’s face and she pulled out her phone to show you a picture. “This is Sam, we’ve been together since high school.”

She handed you her phone and you looked at the tall, handsome guy whose arms were wrapped around her. “He’s cute, nice work!” She beamed as you handed her phone back. The expression on her face was clearly one of adoration as she looked at the picture.

“We actually broke up before we went to college. He went to Stanford and I went to the University of Oregon and we figured it would be easier to break it off on good terms rather than fade away in a long-distance relationship. That lasted about two weeks and we’ve been together ever since.”

“Do you think you’ll marry him? You guys are so stinking cute together.” You weren’t sure if you had ever seen a better fitting couple.

“I overheard Sam talking to his older brother about buying a ring. I don’t think he knew that I was just in the other room, but I’ll let him try to surprise me.” Sarah giggled. Your conversation was interrupted by someone walking in the back door.

“Hey, Ellen.” Sarah greeted. “Your reinforcement has arrived.”

Ellen looked at you with relief in her eyes. “Oh, honey, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. Come on back here and we’ll get started.”

“Have fun!” Sarah left you to meet your new boss as she went up to help someone at the front desk.

“Y/N, you’ll have to forgive me for being so late. My stupid car has been giving me hell the past few weeks. You’d think with my husband owning the only mechanic’s shop in town, I’d have a reliable vehicle, but here we are.”

“No worries. It gave me a chance to meet some people around the building. I’m excited to get started though.” You sat in the chair across from her desk and she plopped down with a sigh as well.

“I’ve been begging Garth for two years for some help, so you are a light at the end of my tunnel. I’m hoping to retire in a few years and hand you the reigns, so let’s get to it, shall we?”

The next few hours were spent introducing you to all of the systems and procedures. After receiving a call from her daughter, Ellen decided to call it a day just after three in the afternoon and the two of you agreed to hit it hard tomorrow. You gathered your things and returned to the front area where Sarah was scrolling through her phone. She looked up when you entered the room.

“Hey! How are things going?”

“Ellen has to take off, so we’re going to call it a day and just work a little longer tomorrow.” You sat at the desk adjoining Sarah’s and set your things down.

“Take any desk. It’s just you and me out here. Charlie is the county IT girl and works out here sometimes, but she hops from building to building.”

“Well, I suppose this one is as good as any.” You unpacked a picture frame and a few supplies at the desk across from Sarah’s. “Hey, are there any places to buy furniture around here? I only moved with the bare essentials so I’m in desperate need of a few things.”

“So, what you’re saying is you need to go on a shopping spree? I’m in! I’ll drive.” Sarah grabbed her purse and coat and led you out the door.

She took you on a short tour of the staples around town before arriving at the only big box store nearby. You browsed up and down the aisles, pulling all the necessities off the shelf and tossing them in the cart. You’d have to order some of the bigger furniture pieces online since it was a small place, and they didn’t have anything like here.

Sarah had a basket and was creating a good-sized stockpile of her own. “Sam has been trying to put me on a budget for a while now, so I’ll have to hide this stuff before he sees.” A guilty smile pulled on the corners of her mouth.

“Just tell him you were shopping with an accountant and I approved all your purchases.”

“Hah! We’re going to be good friends.” She picked up a candle, smelled it, and placed it in her basket.

“Where does Sam work?” You asked as you looked through the bathroom towels.

“He’s the lawyer for Winchester Lumber, the sawmill in town. A lot of people work there actually, it’s kind of the main business that brings people in. Sam’s great grandpa started it and it’s stayed in the family. Sam’s older brother, Dean, runs the place right now, but I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to hand the throne over to their Dad when he gets back. He got cancer a few years ago and they moved to Kansas to be closer to medical treatment.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. How is he doing?”

“He’s doing really well, actually. He’s in remission and they’re hoping to move back soon.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent checking things off of your to-do list and grabbing dinner with Sarah. She dropped you off back at your truck and you thanked her for showing you around before you went your separate ways.

Back at home, it took you a few trips to unload your haul, but you were just happy to have a few more things to fill your empty home. Your first day had gone better than you could have imagined, and you were filled with confidence in your decision to uproot your life.

Sarah opened her front door and did her best to sneak her shopping bags past Sam and Dean who were sitting in the living room, sharing a pizza and some beers. She successfully stowed her treasures away in the hall closet and joined the boys.

“Hey hon!” She placed a kiss on Sam’s forehead before grabbing a slice of pizza and plopping down on the couch next to him.

“You’re in a good mood.” Sam noticed his girlfriend’s chipper energy.

“I made a new friend today.” She took a big bite and gave a smile.

“Don’t you already know everyone in town?” Dean’s voice sounded as pessimistic as usual.

“No, actually. There’s a new accountant at city hall, Y/N. She just moved in yesterday.”

“That’s great! You’ll have to invite her over sometime.” Sam placed his hand lovingly on Sarah’s knee. “Where’s she living?”

“She bought a cabin up in the mountains sight unseen, so we went shopping for some essentials. I think she might be kind of close to you, Dean.”

Dean frowned, trying to think of which cabin the new girl would have bought. He moved up there to be alone, so the thought of a neighbor was disheartening. “You mean that old shack just off of Placer Creek Road?”

“Yeah, I think that’s the one.”

“She’s got a lot of repair work to do on that place.” Dean shook his head, glad that it wasn’t him that put any kind of investment into what he was sure was a money pit.

You awoke early the next morning to find that it had snowed overnight. Growing up in Arizona, you had never really experienced snow like this before. Every breath you took felt like your lungs were filling with ice and you couldn’t help but cough, willing the warm weather to find you soon. Winter was one thing you didn’t think about when moving to a mountain town, so you wanted to give yourself plenty of time for the commute. After packing a few things for lunch, you stepped outside to find your truck buried in a mountain of frozen powder.

“Ugh!” You groaned and threw your head back, looking around for a stick to help you dig out your vehicle. You made a mental note to buy a scraper after work. Ten minutes and one soaked pair of shoes later, you had finally freed your car. You twisted the key, forcing the engine to sluggishly turned over, then blasted the heat on high while you ran inside to change into dry shoes and socks before taking off down the road.

The feeling of your back wheels slipping around on the frozen dirt road was so foreign to you, and you weren’t a fan. About two miles away from the main road, your engine began to sputter as it struggled to trudge ahead through the wet snow.

“Please don’t do this to me…” You steered towards the side of the road as much as you could while the truck wound down to a full stop. An annoyed sigh escaped from your lips. “Great.” You turned the car off and then back on, willing it to start up again, but the clicks of defeat that sounded from under the hood dashed your hopes.

You hadn’t had the time to buy a heavy winter coat yet, so you zipped up the light jacket that you had on and began walking. You didn’t want to make a bad impression on your second day of work by calling in sick, so you picked up your head and kept going. One of the points of starting your new journey was to be more self-reliant, and this definitely fell under that category. Ten minutes had passed, and your toes were so cold that you were sure they would snap off and rattle around in your shoes at any point now. The sound of an engine coming down the hill made you look over your shoulder to see a snowmobile barreling around the corner and straight towards you. You quickly side-stepped out of the way, but not enough to avoid the kickback of snow that was thrown into your face as the machine drove past.

“Seriously?!” You yelled as you shook the snow from your clothes. The snowmobile stopped and slowly backed up to meet you.

“What are you doing up here?” The man abruptly asked as he pulled off his helmet. If you weren’t so annoyed and cold, you might have thought he was attractive.

“Being buried alive by some maniac speeding down the mountain.” You retorted and brushed the snow from your hair with your fingers.

“I’m going to assume that’s your truck back there?”

“Lucky guess.” The wind-chill blew through your jacket and you crossed your arms. “I don’t think it likes the cold, and I don’t exactly blame it.”

His eyes assessed you. “Crappy shoes, thin jacket, and no gloves. I’m going to assume that makes you the clueless new girl.”

“What an ass...” You thought to yourself.

“I guess it does, Kowalski.”

“Kowalski? Really?”

You were surprised he got your reference to Clint Eastwood’s infamously crotchety main character.

“If you’ll excuse me, I gotta get to work.” You didn’t find much point in continuing on this conversation with such a smug jerk, so you continued on your path down the road and heard the snowmobile make a sharp u turn to climb back up the trail.

Ten more minutes later, you could see the main road just ahead of you had been plowed, and you were thankful that you wouldn’t have to be hiking through any more ankle-deep build-up. You could hear a vehicle slowly coming up behind you and you made sure to move as far over as you could to avoid being blasted with snow again. The truck slowed to a stop next to you and you looked over to see the same man from earlier rolling the passenger side window down.

“Get in, I’ll give you a ride.” His voice still sported an undertone of condescension and he rolled his eyes when a doubtful frown from you was sent towards him. “Just get in.”

Hundreds of episodes of Dateline should have taught you to not get in a car with some stranger, but you figured that even if he didn’t murder you, you’d end up dying of frostbite and decided to you’d rather die inside a warm truck. You opened the door and took off your damp jacket before getting inside.

The man’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel tight. You placed your hand by the heater on the dashboard in hopes of defrosting your fingers enough to feel them again.

“You shouldn’t drive a pickup in the winter.” His gaze stayed firmly glued on the road ahead.

“Uhm…” You dramatically looked around, “aren’t we in a pickup right now?”

“Yeah, a pickup with chains on the tires and a weighed down bed.”

“Well, I’m still pretty new at this whole snow thing…”

The man glanced at you from the corner of his eyes. “I couldn’t tell. You’re Y/N, aren’t you?”

“Should I be concerned that you know my name?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, no,” he must have realized how creepy that came off, “I know Sarah. She’s dating my younger brother and she was telling us about you last night.”

“Oh, it all makes sense now. You’re the grumpy older brother. Dean, right?”

Another eyeroll made an appearance, but you could tell he wasn’t going to make any further comments.

“Well, I appreciate the ride. I’m sorry if I screwed up your morning routine.”

“It’s no big deal.”

It wasn’t hard to tell that Dean wasn’t a man of many words, and you were okay with that. You weren’t really one for small talk either. Dean’s eyes moved to your arm that was extended towards the vent blowing heat.

“That’s a gnarly bruise. How’d you manage that?”

You pulled your arm back quickly, hoping that your sudden move didn’t come across as suspicious. “Oh, you know, just being a clutz. They never tell you that moving by yourself is a dangerous game.” You chuckled casually while watching his eyebrows knit together ever so slightly as he glanced at the bruise one more time. No further remarks were made so you assumed he bought your story.

Dean pulled up in front of City Hall and stopped as close to the door as he could get. Before you could reach for the door handle, Dean instructed, “give me your keys.”

“What?” Your face twisted in confusion.

Yet another fed-up sigh escaped from his chest. “Bobby Singer down at the auto shop owes me a favor. I’ll get him to tow your truck down and take a look at it.”

“Oh.” you weren’t expecting such a generous gesture from such a grumpy guy. “I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have.”

“Hand it over.” The tone in his voice remained gruff, but the bluntness was slightly faded at this point. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your key ring, sliding the truck key off and placing it into Dean’s outstretched hand.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Dean’s eyes avoided yours and you took the hint that it was time to leave.

The wind blew flurries in the air, forcing you to quickly sprint to the door, meaning that you missed Dean watching you with curiosity. Sarah, who was observing from the front desk, didn’t miss his wondering stare. He quickly averted his eyes when he saw her spying and peeled away.

“Kowalski.” He muttered to himself with a half-entertained chuckle once he was a few blocks away. Dean would have never admitted it, but he quite enjoyed the witty nickname.

Sarah couldn’t stop the mischievous smirk that crept up on her face and leaned on the counter to greet you the second you stepped through the door.

“You look like you’ve had quite the morning.” She greeted.

“Yeah, something like that.” You hung your jacket up on the coat rack in the corner to dry and stomped the packed snow from the tread of your shoes.

“Am I going blind or did Dean Winchester give you a ride to work?” She quickly cornered you.

“Yeah. My truck broke down and then he tried to bury me in snow, so he gave me a ride.” Goosebumps covered your arms as you made your way to your desk. You had never been more grateful for heat.

Sarah crossed her arms and sat on your desk as you took your seat. “You know, people call him the Grinch because he moved way up the mountain to be all broody and alone.”

“I can’t say I don’t understand it. It’s kinda fitting.” You logged into your computer, but Sarah continued to press for details.

“Well did he say anything on the ride over or did he just glare at the road?”

“A little bit of both I guess. He told me I shouldn’t be driving a truck in the winter, but that’s about it.”

Ellen arrived and cut the chatter short. “Hey girls. You ready to get started, Y/N?”

“You bet.” You stood from your desk, but not before Sarah pointed an accusing finger at you.

“This conversation is not over!” She warned.

After lunch, Ellen had given you some expense reports to review and organize. It was tedious, but you didn’t mind the slow afternoon after a crazy morning. Sarah was helping you to punch holes in the stacks of papers and organize them into departments while the two of you chatted away. The snow had kept most people inside, so it was a slow day at the front desk. Just before it was time to call it a day, the bell of the front door dinged, and Sarah walked over to see who it was.

“Hey, Dean. You going over to Benny’s tonight?” She greeted.

“Not sure yet.”

Dean’s hands were shoved into his front pockets as he stared Sarah down, not wanting to give her any more room to speculate as to why he was here.

“Hi.” You smiled softly, trying your hardest ignore Sarah’s curious stare as you joined in the conversation.

He pulled a key from his pocket and set it down on the counter. “She’s all fixed up. Battery terminals were corroded so I cleaned them up a bit, but you’re going to need a new battery soon. That one doesn’t have much juice left in it.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize that you worked at the auto shop.” You remembered Sarah saying something about Dean working at the sawmill.

“No, I used to. But I figured it would be an easy fix, so I took a look myself. I stuck some old grates in the bed for some weight. Take it into Bobby’s tomorrow after work and he’ll take care of the rest. He knows you’re coming.”

“Wow, I really owe you one. Thank you.” You slid the key from off the counter and fiddled with the metal ring.

“Don’t read into it.” Dean tapped his fist on the counter twice before swiftly leaving.

Sarah was biting her lip, and you slowly turned your head towards her. “Spit it out.” You gave permission for her onslaught of questions.

“You didn’t tell me he was going to fix your car for you!”

“He said he would have Bobby tow it back to the shop and take a look at it. I didn’t know he was going to fix it himself.”

“I’ve known Dean for a long time, he’s pretty much my older brother at this point, so I can see past all the grumpiness. He’s a really good guy, he’s just been dealt a hard hand the past few years that made him swear off people.”

That was a feeling you could easily relate to. “He really went out of his way to bail me out today, so he can’t be all that bad.”

“He’s all bark and no bite. Granted, it’s a big bark.” Sarah checked her watch. “Closing time! Hey, would you want to come back to my place after we clock out? Sam’s playing poker at a buddy’s house tonight so I figured maybe we could grab some take out and find some furniture for you online?”

“Yeah, that’d be great actually! It definitely beats the PB and J I would be making otherwise.”

After work, you ran home to change and Sarah stopped for some Chinese food, then the two of you met at her apartment.

Some crappy TV movie played in the background while mostly empty take-out containers littered the kitchen counter. You were sitting on the floor with your laptop on the coffee table, browsing through loveseats while Sarah lay on the couch behind you giving her input.

The door gently swung open and the man you assumed to be Sam walked through. Sarah stood up and stretched before giving her boyfriend a hug.

“How was the poker game?”

Sam tossed his keys on the counter and pulled off his jacket. “About the same as always. Benny won most of the games, Cas still has no clue what he’s doing, and I lost a little too much pride.”

“You’ll get them one of these days. Come on,” she tugged on his shirt sleeve, “I want you to meet Y/N.”

You stood when Sam and Sarah walked into the room. “Y/N, this is Sam.”

“Ah, the infamous Y/N, I’ve heard lots about you the past day or so. It’s nice to put a face with the name.” He shook your hand. “How are you settling in?”

“Honestly, the move has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. Everyone here has been super welcoming and helpful.”

“Including Dean.” Sarah gave a knowing look to her boyfriend, who was clearly confused.

“My brother, Dean?”

“The one and only. He gave Y/N a ride to work and fixed her truck up for her.”

Sam’s face read skeptical. “My brother, Dean?” He repeated.

“I found myself knee deep in snow and car problems this morning. I’m sure he helped me out of pity more than anything.” You tried to explain, not wanting to make a big deal of the situation.

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “Wow. I guess that’s why he was late to work today. Well, I hope he didn’t scare you off too much.”

You shook your head with a smile. “Not at all, he really helped me out. But I have to admit, I feel bad. He would barely acknowledge my thank yous. I don’t want to come across as ungrateful.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he heard you loud and clear, he’s just hasn’t been properly socialized yet.”

Sam finished off the rest of the Chinese and got to know you a little better while Sarah sat next to you on the floor, scrolling through furniture.

“Where’d you go to school, Y/N?” Sam stacked the empty red food containers together and set them aside as he pulled his feet up on the couch.

“University of Arizona. I didn’t originally plan on staying so close to home, but a full ride soccer scholarship is hard to turn down.”

“No way! That’s awesome.” Sam’s face lit up with an idea. “Oh! Every summer we do this obstacle course race thing here in town as part of the summer festival. Maybe you can be on our team this year?”

“That sounds super fun! Count me in.”

“Yes!”’ Sam made a fist in the air. “We’ve used to win every year, but we’ve come in second the past three times, so maybe you’ll be our secret weapon.”

Sarah joined the conversation once she’d had her fill of online shopping. “I was thinking, Y/N, I don’t know if you’re much of a baker, but if you wanted to say thank you to Dean, he’s a sucker for a good pie. I know he wouldn’t just brush that off.”

“It’s true. He’s a pie whore.” Sam nodded.

“Sam!” Sarah scolded.

“Noted,” you said through your laughs.

The clock in the corner of your laptop screen caught your eye and you realized how late it was getting. “I should probably start heading home before I hate myself tomorrow at work.”

“At least it’s not supposed to snow tonight.” Sarah teased.

“Wow, it’s going to be like that, huh?! It’s a learning curve, okay?” You stuck your tongue out as you gathered your things.

Sam stopped you after Sarah had said goodbye. “Hey, Y/N, I know Dean doesn’t make the greatest first impression, but do me a favor and don’t write him off just yet. He’s had a rough go the past little while and could always use another friend in his corner.”

“I won’t. I’m sure there’s a great guy buried under all that angst.” You gave a reassuring smile and Sam gave you a hug before you left.

The next day was Friday and between training and helping out with the front desk, the workday flew by. You needed to take your truck in to get the battery switched and Sarah had agreed to give you rides while you were without transportation. After work, you dropped off your truck at Bobby’s, and Sarah took you home. You were glad for a little time to yourself so you could clean up the house before the first delivery of furniture tomorrow morning.

On your lunch break earlier that day, you had gotten all the ingredients to make blueberry pie bars as a thank you for Dean. Time was in short supply, so you hoped these would be a suitable place holder in lieu of a regular pie. You quickly threw them together and loaded up a plate once they were cool enough. Baking had always been a stress reliever for you, and the way it filled your small cabin with warmth and sweet smells felt so cozy and charming.

Dean’s place was only a ten-minute walk from yours, so you bundled up and began your hike. You had finally gotten yourself a suitable coat and boots and couldn’t believe the difference they made as you crunched through the snow that was matted on the gravel road. His cabin was much newer than yours, and considerably nicer. A long staircase on the right side of the house led up to a wide porch. Smoke spilling from the chimney and lights beaming through the windows told you he was probably home, so you knocked on the door.

Clattering of locks being undone broke through the silence a few moments later and an expressionless Dean opened the door.

“Hi,” you began, “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me out so much the other day.” Dean stood silent and stone-faced, so you awkwardly continued. “I, uh, heard you were a big fan of pie, but I didn’t have enough time to make one from scratch, so I hope these will do.” You extended the plate of goodies and he looked at them doubtfully.

“Look,” a gravelly voice ended his vow of silence, “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I’m not looking for any new friends or whatever this is.” He began to shut his door when you interjected.

“Listen, this is nothing more than a simple thank you for bailing me out when I really needed it. I’m not going to force you to eat them, but I’m also not going to take them home with me. Maybe just wait until I’m gone before you throw them away though.” You set the plate on a neatly stacked pile of firewood off to the side of the door. “Don’t read into it.” You echoed his parting words from yesterday and took your leave. A sneaky glance over your shoulder as you walked away revealed that Dean had picked up the plate and was looking at it with a half-impressed nod. You assumed that was as much of a reaction as you’d get from him and marked the trip to be successful.

Chapter 2

[spooky-somewhere]

women posting their w's

click for better quality, note under the cut

every day i get a little more gay and i think it's thanks to these two.

kate's a little short and sam is drawn to look older so i do want to specify, kate is 24, sam is 28, kate is just a) an alien that lives longer and thus might look more 20 than 24, and b) short for her species which is actually a lot of complicated lore that i am going to ramble about because THIS IS MY BLOG GODDAMNIT

big tw, discussion of themes of eugenics, death, abuse, and murder.

so kate is like, an alien, right. and she comes from this planet where you're ranked from birth. when you're around, like, three, you get put into a category, and kate, being a scrawny child with a lot of health issues and a couple defects, was essentially cast as the lowest class of person. she'd be used for whatever was needed of her until she died, or, in other words, she was considered human livestock. until a woman with a lot of power looked at her and was like "yeah i can work with that".

she turned kate into a scout, which was only really a step above human livestock but hey it's better than being completely disposable and an embarrassment to her family. scouts are meant to go to planets (advanced alien civilization dontcha know) to scout (roll credits) out planets that could be colonized.

she got put on a ship with an ai named Thea and essentially her only contact with her family was a shitty communications device. Thea was pretty much her only friend throughout that entire time, acting as a rational source of information to contrast herself, who happened to be highly emotional, anxious, and impulsive. as is cliche with stories like this, the planet she was going to was earth. problem, Thea didn't know how to land, as she wasn't actually meant to land planes, only fly them, which meant the ship had to crash into a forest.

the ship was damaged almost beyond repair. kate did what she was told to do in her handbook and sought out shelter or any lifeform, carrying a few rations. she'd never really seen rain before, so the rainpour that night was something she remembered for the rest of her time on earth. kate found an abandoned warehouse, and obviously, being impulsive, she opened the door.

what she didn't expect was to find someone living there, an engineer and mechanic that said her name was sam. she noticed kate was shivering, and brought her inside. she didn't have much for other people, but she did have a couple throw blankets and an extra order of fries from her dinner, and kate was more than comfortable sleeping in a chair that night, because she hadn't been around other people for a very long time, much longer for people who cared about her well being. sure, she had thea, but thea couldn't wrap her in a blanket and give her fries.

the two of them spent a lot of time together after that. they discussed marriage a lot, but kate was the one to ask the question. she couldn't afford a ring, but she could afford dinner at a restaurant by a river, by candlelight. sam still remembered what she said - "we don't have a lot, but i just want to be with you, i want to stay here forever, i never want to leave you, i couldn't get a ring and im sorry but if i work really hard i promise i'll get you the biggest wedding ring i can get and we'll live a good life". many tears were shed that night.

kate managed to get a job at the local bar, getting paid under the table. (the only issue with that is that the bartender happens to be sam's college ex and they both hate each other.) she took up a baking hobby, started selling baked goods online, while sam worked extra hours at her mechanic job, even taking up jobs outside of work hours for things the company she worked for couldn't do, wouldn't do, or would charge too much for. they'd been engaged for a year when they finally had the money to get a house and have a wedding.

before they had the chance to move out, thea had warned kate of what would happen. by then, thea had been given a body by sam, and kate's commander, her boss, knew something had to be wrong. she was planning on going herself, to check on kate. after all, kate was more of a... pet project to her instead of a genuine endeavor.

kate doesn't remember what happened that day. she doesn't like talking about it. she doesn't really like visiting her ship anymore, either.

the following months were spent looking for houses, until they found a two bed, two bath in the kind of neighborhood where there are enough trees to where you can hear birds in the morning. kate decorated pretty much everything, sam just did all the heavy lifting (and painting, and plumbing). kate helped as much as she could, but watching her wife carry heavy boxes was, like, probably more important.

kate eventually left the job at the bar, but she stayed friends with the bartender. (she might be into thea, but she won't tell kate.) she catered events, mostly weddings, with the things she baked, and when she had the time, she'd drop something off at the bar for the bartender to sell.

sam kept working as a mechanic, mostly working on cars but sometimes helping with other things if someone emailed her asking for help. she left her job at the first auto body shop, and found another one closer to their house. sometimes, she gets dragged along to kate's events, and has to wear something fancy, but if it means she gets free food she'll take it.

GOD i rambled on for entirely too long okay im going to BED goodNIGHT this is entirely too long, im so glad i figured out how to do the read more thing SAUKGHDSK

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5 The Older Woman

Chapter 5

The rest of 2018 and 2019 passed in fairly unremarkable fashion. The kids kept seeing the counselor, Jerry's behavior and grades improved until he was one of his grades top students. Tabatha, likewise, did extremely well academically. Jerry joined the school soccer team and took up violin, and Tabatha took up piano, guitar, and drums. While life continued with its normal ups and downs, it really did seem like the worst was behind them.

Even when 2020 hit like a meteor, it still didn't affect Shannon and her family that much. Both Sam and Shannon were deemed essential workers, and therefore kept their jobs. The schools shut down, but Shannon did home lessons over the summer and the kids did remote learning in the fall. Jerry struggled, having a hard time staying focused, but Tabatha did exceptionally well.

It was November when things started to go to Hell for them personally. Shannon started noticing a pain in her right chest and shoulder. It would constantly ache, and if she moved too fast, bolts of sharp, white hot pain would shoot through her body. At first she thought it was just muscle strain from lifting too much (she had gotten back into weight training to lose weight), but when she had taken a week off and there was no improvement, she knew she had to see a doctor.

Here appointment was in December, the week after Christmas. The doctor checked her out and then chewed her out. She was 47 years old and had never had a mammogram. Shannon reluctantly agreed to have one and her doctor made the appointment.

Shannon got her mammogram the second week of January at 8:50 AM. By 3:30 PM, she had three messages saying she should contact them immediately. Shannon had breast cancer. More than that, it had already spread to other parts of her body. After a consultation with the entire family, they decided on an aggressive treatment plan. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Shannon's health declined rapidly. Most of her hair fell out and she shrank from 252 pounds to 110. She was week and tired all the time. She mostly laid in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom; usually to vomit. It was decided that she would enter the hospital for her final days.

Sam would visit everyday. At first he brought the kids with him every time, then every other day, and then they would only come once a week on Sundays. By the end of April, it was clear it was only a matter of days.

Sam's last visit was on a Sunday. It was a perfect spring day. It was so warm and sunny that it made Sam angry. It seemed like a cosmic insult to everything he and Shannon were going through. However, he had managed to purge himself of his bitterness by the time he had gotten to Shannon's room.

She was staring out the window, a contemplative smile gracing her gaunt face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she looked almost transcendent.

"How's the most beautiful woman in the world doing today?" he asked with forced happiness as he entered her room.

Shannon turned to him and smiled as happy a smile as she could. "I don't know. I haven't seen her today," she joked back in her weak, hoarse voice.

Sam grabbed a chair and sat beside her. "How're you sweetie?" he asked with a hushed sadness.

"I'm ok. Best as possible I suppose. I was just thinking I beat mom by a month. She passed in April, I made it all the way to May. Of course she beats me on years though." Shannon's sense of gallows humor was not only still there, but had become stronger than ever.

"I tried to get the kids to come out, but they just couldn't," Sam said apologetically.

Shannon just waved her hand. "It's ok, my family never did do death well."

She turned back to the window and started talking as much to herself as to Sam. "I was going to ask you to make a recording of me saying my farewells to the kids, but then I thought if I really wanted this to be the last and forever image of me; a sad, shriveled up husk of a human being - an image of sadness and loss? That just seems too cruel. I'd rather be forgotten if that is the case."

"You'll never be forgotten," Sam tried to reassure her.

She turned back to him, smiling even more. "We're all forgotten eventually darling." She then reached out and took his hand. "It's been a life, hasn't it?"

"It sure has," he said, trying to smile, but tears were already starting to run down his cheek. "And I thank you for being the love of mine."

"As you are with mine," she said in a peaceful voice.

"No, you don't have to say that. You don't have to pretend." He shook his head as he spoke. He didn't want their potentially last moments to be filled with lies.

"Who's pretending?" Shannon said, sounding almost happy, like he had just told her a joke. "What? You think because I'm not romantically or sexualy attracted to you, that means you're not the love of my life? People put so much emphasis on romantic love. Darling, you were far more than a lover. Being a lover is easy. You were a friend." She then brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it.

Sam was now weeping heavily. "The first time I met you in the library, I knew I loved you," he choked out.

"When I was a little girl, I asked my grandfather why he kept the dogs outside. He said because animals don't belong in the house. That night, my biological mother, left me in her car while she went into the bar. I was alone, freezing. I wondered if maybe I was an animal and that's why I was being left alone.

"My entire life I felt alone, unloved, unlovable. I was angry and bitter and I hurt anyone or thing I could so they would feel what I felt. I caused so much pain.

"Then I met Jen and I thought I found love. I loved her and I thought she loved me, but she only loved what she thought I was. When I turned out not to be that, she turned her back on me and I went off the deep end.

"And then there was you. You made me laugh. I could talk to you about anything. I felt safe around you; not physically, but emotionally. I became a better person because of you.

"Even when I came out to you, you didn't turn me away, throw me out, which I would have understood if you did. You never stopped being my rock, my shoulder to cry on, the clown to make me laugh when I was crying. You never stopped being my friend."

"And I never will," Sam barely choked out.

"And that is why you're the love of my life."

Sam got up and they embraced. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and she gave him one the cheek. They spent the next five hours just reminiscening and joking.

"I better get going, I suppose," Sam said reluctantly. "I can't leave the kids alone all day, but I don't want to leave you alone either. Not to die at least."

"We all die alone honey, even if we're surrounded by people," she said with a smile. "Go. You're a father and your kids need you. I'm already dead. The only thing the dead need is rest. Just, just tell the kids I love them."

"Always," he said tearfully.

A couple hours after he left, she began to feel really tired, her fingers and toes started going numb. She knew the time had come.

She started thinking about tombstones. A name, a dash, and another date. Everything she was, everything she had been, reduced to a small line, carved in a stone that would survive long after she had been forgotten. It seemed unfair, cruel even.

She then thought about something else, something she had learned back in college. She thought about quantum entanglement, how two atoms can become entangled, linked forever across time and space, eternal mirrors to each other.

Her mind then darted to the concept of the multiverse. How there might be infinite universes out, each with their own version of her. What if two versions could be linked somehow? Entangled? What if her mirror was out there? Could she reach her? Could her mind link across dimensions to one of her other selves to share her story?

*Please, please, if can hear me, please tell my story. Please don't let me be forgotten!*, she thought over and over to herself, trying to reach out to anyone who might hear until her brain ceased to function and she passed away.

**************************************

Shannon Brown was born on November 22, 1975 to a single, alcoholic mother. He was taken in by his grandparents and his aunt Mary who raised him as her own. It is Mary who he considers to be his real mother. His biological mother, Kathy, would have two other children, a girl named Tracy (1977) and Paul Jr. (1979).

By about 4 or 5, Shannon knew that he wasn't a he, but a she, but having no language to express this, she kept this to herself. Shannon grew up alone, morbidly obese for most of her life, she never really had any friends and was constantly bullied and picked on. This made her angry and she would often act out in horrible and usually, self destructive ways.

She did manage to lose weight and was thin from 19 to 24. It was at this time she met her future wife, Samantha Hopwood online. Samantha, an Australian citizen, eventually moved to the United States and they got married in 2001. In 2009, their first child, Joshua was born.

It was after that, Shannon came out to Samantha as transgender. It caused a lot of pain and anger in their marriage, but they were able to work through some of it so that they had their second child, Tara, in 2011. In 2020, after years of being partially closeted, Shannon came out to everyone on Facebook (much to the horror of her wife).

It was about this time that Shannon discovered an app called FaceApp. It could change your photo to look like a child, old person, even the opposite physical gender. Shannon took a picture of herself, femininized it, and then took that new picture and reaged it from a little girl to an old woman. As Shannon stared at the pictures, she couldn't help but marvel over how real they looked! These looked like real pictures of an actual person.

"Who are you?" she said to herself. "Who are you, what is your story?" The more she stared at the pictures, the more she could almost hear this stranger call out, "Please, please, tell my story." It was then Shannon knew what she had to do. She opened her Tumblr app, hit the write symbol, and began-

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 1: The Girl

Chapter 1

*This story is dedicated to the memory of H.P. Lovecraft; a horrible man, but great world builder. This wouldn't exist without him.*