#i don't really follow any one piece blogs so this is basically me yelling into the void

[linddzz]

ok your arcane blogging has almost convinced me to watch the show because it seems WILD and also, visually STUNNING like wowww

but I have absolutely no idea what the show is even about, could you give me a summary? (also what streaming service is it on?)

Yessss excellent! The show is indeed fucking nuts and also visually stunning. Just. Goddamn. Every single episode had moments of us going "that looks so pretty" and/or "holy shit that looks so fuckin sick"

It also does some of the best visual storytelling outside of the Spiderverse movies. They do so much playing around with 2D looking effects and light bursts, with music that slaps and is also used to create in-story sort of music videos to help drop character backgrounds and establishing where people are in episodes, which helps them handle the many characters really well!

Also the animation of micro-expressions in this show makes me lose my mind. I'm sure you've seen the gifs all over my blog and how much facial animation there is in them lmaoo

Good news is it's finished after 2 seasons, which I like as someone who prefers shows that don't just kind of go on for forever. It could have been 3-4 seasons but they did great nailing a rare mix of a plot AND character focused story that had a ton of moving pieces.

You also don't need to know shit about LoL and from what I can tell, it was more used as a base for the world setting and the first building blocks for the characters. They take advantage of the pre-made world really well and do this immersive style of world building where you may not know what all is going on in this world, but you can really tell that it's there and developed you know? But character lore wise we all tried to predict season 2 based on the original lore and then got cold clocked by how the basic character beats actually played out so. Yeah. The most video game aspect of this is the character designs and the FULL embrace of "what if this lady had a big glowing cyber arm she punched things with and what if it was the coolest shit you've seen."

As for what it's about...theme wise big points are

- love as both a destructive and restoring force, especially love between family and friends

-forgiveness and how one draws the line on what going too far means

-self perpetuating systems of classism that can pull even well meaning actors into being oppressors, and even how different forms of rebellion can begin recreating the oppression they're rising against (there are arguments on how this got handled in season 2 but I don't think there's any really solid storyline way to handle such heavy themes)

- the unexpected consequences of chasing progress as an ideal

-big buff hot women who punch!!!!!!! Women who are yoked!!!

-making you kind of hate how much you like that imagine dragons song

-beat drops that make you yell "LETS FUCKIN GOOOOO"

Plot wise it's about:

Set in a trippy art deco/art nouveau punk aesthetic city that has technology and where magic exists, but has been considered dangerous and only used by mages born able to harness it. Scientists learn how to access magic via mechanical and chemical technology. This causes a lot of problems. It mostly follows two sisters caught within the volatile time, along with a central cast from multiple parts of the city.

It's streaming on Netflix!

[anmechokola]

I wonder what the chances are that Oda will kill Law to give Luffy immortality. Ngl ever since they said that Law's fruit can do that I've been sweating bullets. Especially since I've heard people say that Imu person is probably immortal because someone used that on him and he's the ultimate big bad supposedly and I can see the idea of mirroring Luffy with him by having Law choose to sacrifice himself but I DON'T LIKE IT

[firelxdykatara]

Please don't reblog SessRin. She was 13 when he got her pregnant. When he first adopted her, she was 8.

Oi vey.

No, she wasn’t.

It’s really funny that somehow I know more about the source material than people who are actually in the fandom, despite being much more of a casual viewer, but like, it’s not that hard to look up??? And realize that Sesshomaru never ‘adopted’ her (fuck, I know that and I’ve only seen like three seasons of the show), because literally all their relationship consisted of was Rin following Sess around for a year (one (1) year), while basically taking care of herself (he didn’t even feed her ffs), occasionally with Jaken’s help. All Sess himself did was keep her alive, which.... man, if that’s what y’all consider a father/daughter relationship, I’m genuinely concerned. Especially since, after that year was over, Sesshomaru dropped her off in a human village so that she could be raised among her own kind and then choose, for herself, where she wanted to be. If that kind of relationship when Rin was young makes their relationship after she grew up off-putting to you, that’s completely valid! What isn’t valid is claiming that your feelings are the only valid ones, and that Sess must have had romantic feelings for her when she was a child, which is never suggested anywhere in canon.

Secondly, there’s no reason to believe she was thirteen when he got her pregnant, what???? Everyone looks weirdly young in Yashahime’s art style, for one thing, (though notably, she just doesn’t look that much younger in the birth scene than Kagome) but I’ve been over the timeline (more for curiosity’s sake than anything else) and, quite apart from the fact that Rin had no canon age in the OG series (idk how the fandom settled on 8, but that was never actually stated, and she could easily have been a few years older--she was small but also uhhhh she’d been living like a feral child and pretty constantly malnourished before Sesshomaru found her so she would have been tiny for her age anyway), at the youngest she’d have been 16 or so. Which you may not think is great, and that’s fine, but it’s not the worst thing to come out of canon pairings in shows, so I fail to see the issue there.

Sess is supposed to be physically/mentally 19, the way Inuyasha is meant to be physically/mentally 15. The show wasn’t great about conveying this, but no one yelled about 150 year-old half-demon Inuyasha falling for a high schooler, so??? (Nevermind that this is a staple in shows with immortal protagonists. Which isn’t everyone’s cuppa, and that’s fine, but I get the appeal. I kinda have to, Bangel being one of my ultimate OTPs.) They are demons. They don’t view human lives and mortality and morality the same way we do. They don’t have to! It’s actually really interesting to think about that juxtaposition, how demons view humans but then some of them fall in love and those views change, and how half-demons bridge the gap between those two worlds... it’s fascinating. And for Sesshomaru, famously disdainful of humankind, to have fallen in love with a human woman and had half-demon kids of his own??? That’s even better.

I really gotta ask, though, who y’all even thought that human might be before the reveal lmao.

The thing is, I’m not even really in this fandom. I have a passing interest, I’ve seen a good chunk of the show and enjoyed it, I don’t really ship anything except inukag and a bit sesskag because I’ve seen some artwork and fanworks that really intrigue me, but I thought that piece of art was cute and reblogged it. I don’t have any real opinions on the ship itself, except that people are losing their minds for no reason, because it’s easy to blacklist tags and block content and also if the show itself disgusts you bc of its canon pairings then don’t watch it??? There are plenty of shows I don’t watch because I hate the things they do in canon (see: why i never got into Game of Thrones) but I’m not about to ask people to not reblog things from those shows just bc I don’t like them. If it bothers me that much, there’s blacklisting and tumblr’s filter system. Also blocking, if it’s really that huge a deal.

But I’ve never had patience with this kind of argument where, like, people who really hate a ship have decided that it MUST be pedophilia, despite their insistence on information that isn’t even canon, like. It happened to me, not long back, when a group of atla blogs decided that Jiang was an adult, despite there being no canon basis for that belief (and a lot of canon basis for her being a teenager, since all her crew were around the gaang’s ages), and so if I shipped her with Katara I must be a pedo. I hated it then, and I hate it now, and if you don’t like my particular stance on this, you don’t have to, but I’m not budging.

For the record, I always tag ship things, and I tagged that post, so if you hate sessrin, I implore you, please blacklist or filter the tag. It’s genuinely not that difficult. And I’m not even in the fandom, but I’m also not gonna go out of my way not to reblog things if I find them cute or the art good or whatever, so I can’t promise I’ll never reblog sessrin again lmao

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

"you can be anything you wanna be, don't ever forget it?" for reddie 🥺

thank you so much ashbot! this fic literally only features a reddie mention, but I will continue it if you guys want more! It’s also set from Adrian’s point of view so have that! Also I have basically switched the losers an Adrian/Don’s ages around don’t @ me. 

* * * * *

Adrian walked into the local diner, texting his boyfriend, Don as he moved. There was a table right in the corner that Adrian always sat in. It was close enough to the door, and right next to a window meaning that if he was to enter an asthma attack, there was a quick escape. As it was a Thursday, there weren’t many people around, which was just how Adiran liked it, and he glanced at the clock. Don would be here any minute and until then, Adrian decided that a little people watching wouldn’t do much harm.

His eyes started by the entrance, scanning over the elderly couple sipping on their tea and nibbling into the scones. Adrian couldn’t help but smile to himself at the simplicity of it all, that after all the years they had probably been together, they still managed to find the time and energy to go out for a treat together. Leaving the couple to it, Adrian’s eyes moved further into the diner, landing on a man in a suit, tapping away on his laptop and talking quietly into a headpiece. He didn’t blame the man, as Thursday was a quiet day.

Finally, Adrian’s eyes drifted to the only other people in the diner at that time. At the table down from him, sat a slightly overweight woman and her young son, probably no older than four. His legs were swinging back and forth as he stared at the carrot sticks in front of him, before his head moved back to the large cabinet full of cakes and sweets. Since they were only a few tables away, Adrian could make out their conversation and he had to hold back a wince. Just from the small bit he could catch, it was clear that this mother was, what he would describe as, an entitled parent.

“Mommy, please can I have a little bit of cake?” The boy asked, his fingers twitching on the table and Adrian felt sorry for the poor kid. His mother gasped, loud enough to turn some heads and she shook her own head violently.

“Eddie bear! How could you even suggest such a thing? You know that you’re allergic to sugar! Do you want your mommy to have to rush you to the hospital and be faced with a huge bill just because you wanted a little piece of cake? I don’t think you do. You don’t want to hurt mommy do you?” Her voice was sickly sweet and condescending, which made Adrian develop the inkling that the kid didn’t actually have a sugar allergy.

Just then, the door to the diner opened, and Don walked in, waving in Adrian’s direction as he made his way over, taking a seat in the booth opposite him, “Hey, sorry for keeping you waiting, traffic was horrendous,” he rolled his eyes and leaned across the table, pecking Adrian on the lips, making him smile.

They were frequent customers at the diner, and all of the staff knew them by name, which was why they didn’t feel the need to hide their affection when they ate there. Of course, there was still the occasional roll of the eyes from the odd customer, but most of them were regulars too, and were used to it by now. So when the deep sigh and loud ‘ahem’ came from behind them, it took both Adrian and Don by surprise.

Adrian looked up first and he inwardly groaned when he came face to face with the entitled mother of the little boy. Upon closer inspection, he realised that he knew this woman, and his annoyance only intensified. Her name was Sonia Kaspbrak and she was a member of his Aunt’s book club, for years in fact. That was his aunt’s reasoning for not kicking her out, as she couldn’t deal with all the backlash that would come with it. She was religious, overbearing and...entitled. Which meant the little boy with her was Eddie Kaspbrak, her poor unfortunate son.

“Yes?” Adrian spoke up, raising an eyebrow. Just out of spite, he reached over and laced his fingers with Don’s. This woman had no control over him and was in no way about to dictate how he acted with his boyfriend. His glare met hers and he just knew he had started a war.

Sonia Kaspbrak glared down at him, her face going a dark red colour, “You shouldn’t be flaunting this around town where little kids can see it. You’re going to turn them into one of you and I will not have you infect my child with your...your illness.” She spat and Don winced across from him.

“We aren’t bothering anyone,” Adrian replied calmly. “It was you who chose to come over here and ruin our lunch. Now if you don’t mind could you leave us alone? We are trying to have a nice lunch.”

Turns out, that was not the right thing to say, and Sonia slammed her hand down on the table, making the two of them jump. “You’re not welcome in this town. You- you homo’s need to leave and get some serious help. You are all sick in the head. God never intended for this, not a chance. You are going to hell.”

Adrian blinked and was about to respond when a small voice came from behind the angry woman, and Eddie Kaspbrak’s head peeked out from behind her legs, eyes wide and curious. “Mommy...what’s a homo?” He asked, looking up at her. “Why are you yelling?”

The gasp that left Sonia’s mouth was one Adrian would never forget and she whipped her head back around, pointing a finger at him. “You- you have corrupted my son! Look what you’ve done!”

“Oh my god lady, this is ridiculous. It’s the 21st Century not the Stone Age,” Adrian rolled his eyes, and knowing that there was no turning back, he turned to face and address Eddie. “Homosexuals, it’s a word for when a man loves another man and wants to be with him. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Suddenly, Sonia screeched and covered Eddie’s ears, “Don’t you dare speak to my son! Don’t you even look at him! You have infected his mind with your words and I deserve some sort of compensation for this! I will be reporting you to the mayor and he will not be happy to know you are corrupting his town!”

“Mommy, does that mean that Richie and I can get married when we’re older?” Eddie asked, pulling away from her and looking back at Adrian. “Richie is my bestest best friend in the whole world. I want to spend time with him all the time and I love him, just like you said! Does that mean I’m a homo- that word you said?” He didn’t manage to get an answer as Sonia wrapped a rough hand around his too small wrist and started to drag him away.

“Edward, you will go sit in the car right now. Do not disobey me and you are never to mention that word ever again!” Sonia screeched and even though she had moved away from the table, Adrian was involved and so he followed her. “As for Richie Tozier, he is a dirty boy, just like those boys and you aren’t to be friends with him anymore.”

Tears filled Eddie’s eyes and Adrian felt his heart break at the sight. He marched forward and stood in Sonia’s line of vision. “Hey lady, you can’t go around calling little kids words like that. You say we’re the ones corrupting society, it’s actually you with your small minded views. You’re the one who needs some serious help.” He turned back around to Eddie and knelt down, ignoring Sonia’s insults. “Hey kid. You can be whatever you wanna be and don’t you forget it. Okay?” He asked, lifting his pinky.

Eddie sniffed and linked their pinkies together, nodding his head with a smile. “I won’t mister! Thank you!” He grinned, only for that smile to vanish as his mother shoved Adrian away and pulled Eddie out of the diner, to the car. It was a few moments until she drove away, leaving dust in her wake. The diner fell silent and the waitress walked over and smiled at him.

“That was a really nice thing you did,” she spoke. “Eddie comes in here with Sonia all the time and he always looks so sad as she won’t let him have any sweets.” She moved over to the table and started cleaning up.

Adrian followed to help and Don joined them shortly after, giving Adrian’s wrist a squeeze. “I heard her say that Eddie was allergic to sugar,” he muttered after a while and the waitress frowned, looking at him. “What?”

She shook her head, “That’s not possible. Before his father died, he would come in here and they would share a banana split. When he comes in with his mother, she always makes him drink black tea, so I sneak a sugar cube in there for taste. He’s definitely not allergic to sugar.”

At the news, Adrian felt his blood boil and he reached into his pocket for his inhaler, taking a few gulps. This woman was lying to her son, making him believe he was sick when he wasn’t. His eyes met Don’s and he could tell that his boyfriend knew exactly what he was thinking.

No matter what, Adrian was going to help Eddie Kaspbrak.

* * * * *

@3tothe1 @anellope @annxmatron @appojoos @are-you-reddie-for-it @beepbeeprichiellc @bi-bi-richie @billdenbrough @bitchbrak @callmechee @dadbodrichie @derrylosers @disneyfan567 @eds-trashmouth @eduardoandale @feldmancorey @girasol-eddie @gloire-celeste @halfway-happy353 @hawkinsbabe @inthebreadbinwrites @itfandomprompts @its-stranger-than-you-think @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @kat-ships-everything @lifesucksheres20bucks @loserslibrary @losers-gotta-stick-together @madi-main @mars-14 @marsisaplanetyall @moonlightrichie @nancynwheeler @no-she-wasnt-reddie @oldguybones @photoboothreddie @pink-psychic @purplepoisonedgem @queen-sock @ransonelovebot @rebecca-the-queen @reddie-for-anything @reddie-to-cryy @reddieforlove @reddiesetandgo @richietoaster  @roobarrtrashmouth @rreddies @s-onora @s-s-georgie @sashadrowned @sedanleystanley @sloppybitchreddie @sparklingrainbowdragon @spirited-marvel @stebbins @stellarbisexual @studpuffin @takeourpure @that-weird-girls-blog @thegoshdiddlydangdoor @thejadeazalea @thorn-harvester-ven @tinyarmedtrex @tozier-boy @tozierking @toziesque @trashmouthtozierr @twoidiotsinl0ve @ultrapaninibred @vanity190 @violetreddie @virgo-luthie @wilding-throught-thehallways @xandertheundead  

[elishevashadow]

I was home schooled until I went to community college and eventually university. When I was eight, I started playing games online, trying to be as cool as my big sister was. While we were fiercely protected from the outside world, raised on Criminal Minds, NCIS, and other crime TV which kept me from wanting to leave my house ever... we weren't really trained much regarding online etiquette. It just didn't come up much. Unfortunately I had a talent for slipping through the cracks of attention. I'd sit in my room for hours upon hours playing games, watching videos, and looking up random curiosities. No one seemed to notice that my homework wasn't done, even though that's what I claimed to be doing. It was just really easy stuff I could finish with barely a thought, so I ignored it.

As time went on, I found myself in an awkward situation, being subtly emotionally abused by one of my online friends. I didn't want to seem stupid or weak, so I thought I could handle it on my own. I just wound up getting closer to this other person though. I tried to be savvy with my info, but anyone who has seen this blog can tell I overshare. After all, I'm doing so now. I wasn't allowed to have a phone or a Facebook until years after this started, and once I had the phone I talked with my abuser through that pretty often. Almost constantly, really. Anything that put him in a bad light I would delete in case anyone took my phone, and I became incredibly protective of my devices. He had convinced me that if we lost contact he would kill himself, and my idiotic preteen self believed it. He didn't want me to tell anyone else about him, either. I didn't delete my side much since I figured my inclination, that of wanting to help the poor suicidal stranger who was also my best friend, would be obvious.

When my mom asked one day who I was texting and I didn't answer, she tried taking my phone away. It was immediately following a particularly bad time my friend was having so I fought fiercely, barely realizing what I was doing. When she successfully fought it out of my grip and asked again, I yelled out "he's my boyfriend! And I love him!" And sprinted to my room, locking the door though I knew it wouldn't do anything. My immediate thought was just protecting him, still.

My parents were confused, feeling betrayed and lied to, and I had never felt worse. I didn't realize until I'd been caught that there was really anything wrong with the situation. I honestly felt like it was so obvious my whole family probably knew, and we just didn't talk about it.

They wound up calling the boy. He said how we loved each other and were making plans and hearing him say it was one of the most viscerally disturbing moments of that time. My parents never actually forbade it, either. I'm sure they intended to be as supportive as they could, even as hurt and confused as they were, but their solution didn't work out very well. A spanking and a month without recreational tech was basically my only direct punishment and after that I never wound up speaking to him again, though I tried to a couple times he had just... disappeared.

I felt like a changed girl, though. I went to bed that night sobbing and begging God for forgiveness for hurting my parent's feelings and trust in me. Not for hiding for years, I knew I'd been an idiot but it was for kindhearted reasons. For breaking trust though, I felt like my world had crumbled. My sisters looked at me differently, possibly wondering who it was they were looking at. I could see thinly veiled disgust at times.

In spite of that reaction though, my door being broken open, trying to delete any info that would make my abuser look bad (I still don't know exactly why I did that, I just didn't want *him* to get in trouble too, I guess), having my computer and all of my accounts searched completely, having a parent meeting, and everything else... at the time I felt better. I wasn't giving every remaining piece of energy to someone who was squandering it. I was a free gal, more or less. "I'm Forgiven" by Tenth Avenue North woke me up the next morning and I sobbed, feeling like God Himself brushed the dust off, accepted my apology, and that everything would be okay from then on.

That was mid-August.

September rolls around and I start the school year with genuine vigor, being a part of an online homeschooling program. The curriculum was pretty dull, but I was, for once, actually following through and doing super well. Until I was invited to join my class's chat group. It was all going decently for a couple months but then my attention lapsed more and more, again. I was actually getting to meet people and make friends and having the time of my life with folks who seemed actually genuine. Of course, all but a couple turned out to be batshit crazy, but I didn't really notice that at the time. I made friends with the kids a year older than me first, since they had first invited me. Then people my age and younger filtered in. Attention ebbed and flowed there, people coming, going, joining and vanishing. It was a lot of random good fun, but it was also an incredible distraction, one I didn't need. My attention to schoolwork lapsed again, and no matter what I tried I couldn't find that attentive spark again. Eventually the group petered to nothingness, groups of two or three staying connected but otherwise not really maintaining contact.

I found myself falling into step with a young autistic boy that I really enjoyed hanging out with. He was a good conversationalist online and we hit it off, though we mostly just continued writing roleplay stories with me usually acting as primary Storyteller as well as a main character right beside his character.

I talked to my mom much more openly about that friendship, but I don't think it ever really struck me how much trust I had broken with her. When I admitted I really liked the kid, she was surprisingly supportive.

She pretty rapidly changed her mind after cautious in-person hangouts didn't go well. His mother was obnoxiously overbearing, he could barely bring himself to speak, letting his sister dominate conversation, and we both left those meetings sad and frustrated and confused. While it is true that he gradually turned into one of the most abusive individuals I've had the displeasure of encountering, my parents' response was done in shockingly poor taste.

On a few occasions, sometimes for no reason at all, they would read all the messages off my phone or computer. Once, it was because my Dad had borrowed my laptop without telling me and my Gmail messaging was still up and we were role-playing another story. Another time it was because I hadn't yet finished preparing dinner, even though I hadn't actually been on my phone since I arrived home from my community college classes and was trying really hard to do well.

Each time, something was said they didn't like. Each time, I was severely punished, and there was even a point where my mother tried installing trackers into my computer to know what websites and programs I visited, how long I was using them, etc. Each time I was berated for betraying my parents, because I would again be oversharing my thoughts and feelings with the only friend I had. They didn't like what I said, even though sometimes if I was talking about family, I would actually defend them.

See, unfortunately, that didn't work to get me to stop "lying by omission" and I continued to just not really talk about it. It wasn't even intentional at that point, I just didn't figure they'd want to know about my online roleplay swashbuckling adventures, and that was most of what me and my friend did. Over time, with comfort in each other's company rising, candor also rose, and we talked about some pretty deeply personal matters as well.

My parents greatly disapproved of the entire thing, of course. Instead of making me quit, though, it just encouraged even more strongly that I not really talk about it. I'd only get in trouble when I admitted things, so by not speaking up I got in trouble less often...

It took five years after meeting that friend before I finally realized he had been manipulating me almost the entire time. It took another six months to actually remove him from my life. That time was excruciating, and I wound up severely scarred from it. He had been encouraging me to pull away from my parents as much as possible, while my parents were encouraging me to pull away from him as much as possible. In the end, with a lot of help, I got away from him, but that six month battle took a nasty toll. I once again lost trust points with my family, school was failing yet again as stress gave me blackouts and at one point I recieved a concussion. I was emotionally and psychologically Done with everything... diagnosed ptsd, depression, a mood disorder (likely bipolar II) as well as suspected adhd or/and low level autism, still getting blackouts, and most recently having multiple personalities, I've gone beyond scathed after all the bullshit I've gone through.

My folks though... that's just the icing on the cake, I guess. They've always been highly overprotective, but I have always been known as the most stubborn, hardest to teach little shit they've ever met. Add onto that social anxiety and you get a kid who is too nervous to order a drive-through meal without stammering, and keeps her nose in a book or some technology because she's scared of getting hurt, or kidnapped, or hurting someone's feelings, or getting so excited she happy-flaps and whacks someone, or just doing anything wrong. I was the kid so terrified of failure that I did my best to stop trying at all and failed that too. It felt like only the negatives were ever noticed and commented on. Nice things were expected, or gratitude came in the form of a "WOW! Thank you! It's actually done for once!" Level of sarcasm.

All those times when I'd have meetings with my parents because I'd messed something up again, they'd sit me down and tell me how disappointed they were, and how hard I had fucked up. I'd speak from the heart, explaining my thoughts and feelings, and from the time I was 16 to this very day, I've been told to my face that

I'm a very shitty liar

My acting class sure taught me a lot

(After a particularly heartfelt outpouring of feelings and explanation) "I don't believe you."

To stop being so damn defensive, immediately after being asked to explain myself

Being told I will never regain my mother's trust

To fuck off

To get the fuck out of the house

Being warned that if I don't shut the fuck up and stop arguing, I'd be kicked out

That one more word out of me and they'd beat my ass

Dad coming within an inch of slapping me in the face on several occasions, hand shaking in fury right in front of me. He slapped me one of those times, only the once that I remember... Outside numerous spankings.

To shut the fuck up and listen

To "stop with the waterworks" when I was explaining how I had been emotionally and psychologically abused.

My father has also called me just to say how unloved he felt because I didn't text him back immediately. Multiple times now.

I can sit at the dinner table while my little sister mouths off and my dad will tell her to stop and she'll say "no" in a cocky voice and they'll laugh about it, but I politely try to tell my dad that I'm not really interested in a hotrod convention he invited me to help host that's full of 30, 40, 50+ year old guys who don't want women there, and he gets upset with me for it, claiming that I never suggest anything for the two of us to do and he keeps trying to bridge the gap between us and I just keep pushing away. My sister can insult him to his face with no consequence but I try to bow out gracefully and it's like I stabbed him.

And yet, there are rare, pure moments when we connect. Talking in the car, working on a project, actually having a nice conversation. One of my favorite activities has always just been hanging out with my dad, every chance I could get. These days those moments are rare but they do happen. The sad part though is that it can go from great to horrible in a matter of moments.

I left university because I got a concussion and was in too much psychological and emotional distress to function. Because I was working through the realization that my longest standing friend had just been using me, manipulating me, and abusing me, even as he began to do all of those things with increasing intensity and visible aggression. But instead of anything resembling support, my parents can't help but comment how the entire last year of my education doesn't count because I was "just fucking around," or goofing off.

I can understand not trusting me to some degree after I had hidden my thoughts and feelings and didn't come to my folks for much advice or anything else. I can understand that I was probably the biggest shit person they'd had the misfortune of having to deal with... but they never believed me when I tried to say why I did any of the wrongs I've been accused of. They never taught me what to do differently they just scared me half to death, got angry at me, stopped trusting me, and wouldn't believe a word I said. The punishment for stupid behavior lasted far too long, and it's still ongoing. I just wish they would wake up one morning and realize all the times I told them I love them were entirely true, and my reasoning for my bad behaviors was not malicious but just desperately trying to prove myself and be generous.

Tl;dr

I lost my parent's trust by giving all my attention to abusive boys that convinced me they needed help and now my dad still treats me like shit because of it and our attempts to reconnect have invariably ended in horrible failure. I just wish my folks were willing to understand.

So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog