#i don't read isobe

[regarding-stories]

Raw and merciless: A Girl on the Shore

(Normally I would accompany a post by adding GIFs to break up text, but for media not that popular or that haven't been made into anime, that's hard to do.)

Trigger warning: Not so much for my post, but for the book itself. It contains very explicit (yet censored) allusions to sex acts, but beyond that it also features a lot of emotional cruelty, suffering, loss, and depression, and, to top it off, violence. This is not an easy book.

(Also, I'll completely spoil the story.)

"A Girl on the Shore" is a manga story contained in two volumes describing an unfolding "relationship" between Isobe and Koume, two students in the last year of middle school/junior high in a rural community. It's neither romantic nor wholesome in any way, it's probably best described as an unflattering portrayal of human nature, sexuality, emotionally damaged people, and relationships built between such people.

The art style itself is amazing in its detail. It has a very unfiltered view of people, portraying a wide range of body shapes and looks. People are not manga-cute or manga-attractive, they look like actual people. Koume is pretty in her own way but her freckles and face make her look, well, like a girl in middle school, still like a child in some ways. But she's just a stand-out character among many - you see weak jawlines and all the other features so rarely featured on average, doughy faces, different body shapes, and many adults look especially unflattering. But seldom does manga look this real.

In many manga, they have to tell you who is who by hairstyles and accessories, and tell you who is attractive and who is not because of the lack of visual detail. This manga may not be photo-realistic but it captures something about the faces and bodies of people that makes it easy to distinguish them and memorable and enables us to form our own impressions of them. Visually, it already is a work of art because of this, even if it decides to play the unflattering camera, hard.

But given the subject matter, this is not surprising. This is a story that looks at people when they don't want to be looked at, refusing to look away. We are basically uncensored observers to what goes down, directly to the actions, and indirectly pointed at the emotions behind them. There's a certain complicity in this closeness, and I was frankly surprised how immediate and unflinchingly the manga itself portrayed intercourse. Even though I had read a synopsis, I didn't expect this at all.

The basic plot is that Koume rejected Isobe's confession that happened after he moved to town and they were in the same class. Koume chased after older Misaki lately who has the reputation of a "player." Which is fully justified as we are told (but thankfully not shown) that Koume gave Misaki a blowjob only to be rejected by him a day after (which we are shown) in a way that was very humiliating and emotionally jarring, displaying the full extent to which he abused her feelings and hopes.

Koume then encounters Isobe again and decides to simply have sex with him at his home. (His parents are practically never home.) This develops into a "relationship" where both will have lots of intercourse with each other but she forbids him to kiss him, keeping that particular distance. Reading their post- or pre-coitus dialogues can be jarring, because they say such hurtful things to each other, often very casually, as if they meant nothing.

There is this odd emotional interplay between them that betrays that some love is still arising between them. While they often talk facing away from each other, you will find scenes where they obviously exchange a cuddle or sleep facing each other, portraying the gradual change between them. A relationship "designed" by Koume to be emotionless is anything but.

The cruel thing is how this plays out, though. Koume starts to look for ways for expressing her growing feelings to Isobe and trying to help him heal in her own, helpless, unexperienced ways. At the same time, Isobe deals with his feelings by starting to push Koume away, intensifying the sexual experience through crossing more and more boundaries, and ultimately pushing her out of his life.

We learn why Isobe is so broken. His brother committed suicide but it looked like an accident, and his family pretends that was the case, especially since Isobe deleted the suicide note he left. But this also means he carries this burden alone, increasingly isolated from and abandoned by his parents who brought him to this community, only to be shunned by not being part of it, his brother becoming a shut-in and committing suicide, and finally spiraling more and more himself without anybody intervening.

The violence of conformity turns into physical violence several times. "Baseball guy" (I forgot his name) basically wants to bully him away from Koume, which he has a longstanding crush on, but he also beats him up after Isobe provokes him. This all culminates in an escalation in front of the teachers as Isobe tries to pretend nothing happened where both fall down the central staircase of the school. But this is also an image for the violence inherent in the community itself, with its local bullies of all kinds who harass the outsiders.

Isobe in turn blames the bullies, and we never know if rightfully so, to have basically caused the death of his brother. (I question his ability to actually identify the actual bullies at that point of his mental unraveling.) His ultimate fate seems to be determined by his obsession with his brother. He concocts and carries out a plan where he traps two of the local bullies and beats the shit out of them after having used a taser on them, also leaving them to be found by the local police with the weed they had on them. The last thing we see of Isobe is that the police catches up with him, just as he seemingly seems to have found something to look forward to. He looks like he awaited them with some feeling of elation. It's a really odd scene which, I think, really calls Isobe's mental state into complete question.

There's also an odd love triangle in the mix, because Isobe found a memory card on the shoreline containng photos of an attractive girl taking pictures of herself. As Koume's feelings develop she tries to delete these pictures from his computer, only to lead to a threatening outburst from him to her. This unreal girl in turn becomes a thing of obsession, in spite of how unreal she is to them. He directs feelings to her, and Koume feels threatened by her, and yet we never meet her. She's an unreal ghost. Until the end.

Their mutual story ends with Koume encountering a seemingly happy Isobe, a quite shocking sight for the reader as well. He found the girl and asked her for her LINE, and is quite convinced she will go out with him. He's happily crushing on her, and he rejects Koume's confession as "too late." As Isobe is arrested shortly after we never learn his ultimate fate. We find however a two year older Koume who maybe manages to let down some of her emotional distance at the insistent probing of her boyfriend.

It all adds up to a story about broken people. There's ba"se"ball guy" and Koume's best friend, Keiko, IIRC. Keiko is naturally tall, with an elongated upper body, but in spite of standing out, she has heart set on "baseball guy" who is the shorty of the class, and he's suffering for it. Keiko knows he's in love with Koume but still forces a relationship on him, but in the final scene we learn he would basically still leave her at the drop of a hat if Koume said the word. This is the mildest kind of relationship we see.

We also see a lot of use and abuse. Koume uses Isobe, Isobe uses Koume. Misaki and his friends abuse young girls that they lure in, plying them with weed and alcohol and manipulating their desire to be cool and grownup. "Baseball" guy is friends with them, but they still tease him, putting in question what kind of relationship actually exists. He also uses them to threaten Isobe, maybe partially setting off his hatred for them. Koume in turn narrowly escapes date rape after feeling sick from alcohol, showing just how predatory Misaki is. A Misaki she only turned back to after not knowing how to deal with all the rejection from Isobe.

If you start to wish anything might work out for these people, you will suffer. But our protagonists are existing on a mental health spectrum, and they will act accordingly. In a sense their actions are predetermined by their traumas, not by themselves. And while Misaki and his gang set themselves up for being hated, there's really no elation at seeing them beat up - all it left me with was seeing how deeply Isobe by then had fucked up his own life for no gain at all. The violence he returns will not rectify anything, it's not some form of righteous punishment, as much triggered by trauma as it is, it's just more abuse.

The author's depiction of how trauma acts on us is, in my opinion, accurate. It falls in line with an increasing number of works of art that seem to express how people struggle with mental health issues in a culture (depicted as, how can I know?) unprepared to deal with it. I have said this many times when facing with the actions of some characters in Japanese manga and anime - these people belong in therapy (like here and here, for example). They just keep repeating futile defense mechanisms and perpetuate trauma.

In the end, do we really get an end to this story? Isobe goes from being used to running away from any kind of love to violence to living in full blown delusion. There could not have been a happy end in store for him. After all, how on Earth could the unnamed "girl on the shore" have dealt with his massive trauma should a relationship ensue? It's a moment of basking in momentary acceptance. But this won't cure long-standing mental illness. One thing going right will not cure depression. Isobe's trajectory is probably unchanged, and having a criminal record won't improve it. His rejection of Koume seems cruel, though some may feel it's justified by her actions. I think how you see this part is heavily dependent on which of the hurts on display relates most to your own experience. In this sense there's no right or wrong to the scene, it's just how it unfolds - and something rather logical for how Isobe seems to be put together.

The mystery unsolved in the series is Koume. Having your heart broken by somebody you have a crush on is hurtful. Having it done like Misaki does is a world of hurt. But Koume's actions betray deeper problems with life than we know reasons for. Isobe's story is played out for us, put in front of us. It's unclear why Koume has issues with distance and boundaries, why she is suddenly willing to drop all pretenses at dignity. Over the course of the story Koume changes, is changed by her feelings - she is trying to find ways to alleviate Isobe's problems but she can't get access to him. She's also a coward at times, writing letters and planning actions but not following through.

But I'm not sure it matters if she's a coward. Isobe started rejecting her before she could even act on her feelings. She's facing an increasing uphill struggle to express them when she has no experience expressing them. Maybe the kiss with her boyfriend is also a sign of normalization, a sign she can overcome a trauma. She tells him she likes, loves him. We have no way of telling how honest or close to her feelings that is. It's really hard to tell. But if she feels it and does it, she worked through something to get there, especially considering how things are left with Isobe at the end.

In a sense this is her story and yet we know so little about her inner world in comparison, she always seems to seek something from others. Isobe is put on a psychological display rack, yet when the story features Koume alone it's a bog-standard life, and people call her shallow all the time. But I think she's anything but.

Also, her willingness to show up with love for someone acting toward her like Isobe betrays her strange acceptance of suffering abuse for love. She's of course no innocent, she also enacts abuse on others. But there is something there. An attempt at a horse trade - "I let you and you love me. I give you and you love me." Maybe that's why Isobe calls her manipulative, but it points to a deep lack.

One of Koume's most revealing admissions is that she is willing "to become someone kind" for Isobe. She doesn't see herself as kind, her view of herself seems stark and a cynical kind of honest. In fact, there are strong implications that self worth is a massive problem to her, and hence how willing she is to cross boundaries - whether it's orally pleasing Misaki or when it comes to letting Isobe have his way with her in the later stages of their relationship.

Koume seems willing to relinquish all boundaries for love, revealing a desperate hunger and willingness to trade for what she wants deep down. It's never revealed why. It seems that by the end of the story she reestablished those boundaries to be taken down in a more healthy way. Through intimacy instead of thrilling boundary-crossing. But before she gets there we see her return to her abuser, and I think Isobe can be classified to some extent as such as well - not only due to his threatening her, but also due to his willingness to disrespect her boundaries. He's abusing her feelings to get a thrill, refusing to let them grow when he encounters his own.

There's almost nothing she would in turn not do if push comes to shove, at least for a chance of love. This is also why she doesn't give in to Misaki in the end. There's simply nothing there and she (probably) recognizes that it's delusional to think otherwise, she just didn't know what to do in general - with her feelings. She fell back into a pattern but she also breaks the pattern in time before greater harm ensues.

Maybe that's why she can smile in the end. It's hard to believe, and frankly the ending is rushed. When the story moved ahead two years and left Isobe behind, I was completely lost. The story speeds towards a conclusion in one chapter, and frankly, I'm left skeptical to believe what unfolds. Is Koume giving in to her boyfriend or is she overcoming a trauma? Is she telling him she loves him because she can now express her feelings in a more timely manner? Or is she again resorting to some lighter form of the same?

Of course she's also an abuser in the story. She refuses to kiss Isobe or express positive feelings towards him, and this in turn is part of what leads to all the boundary-crossing. There's no way for the affection part to grow because for a good while Koume tramples around on it. And then Isobe resorts to all kinds of fetishes, leading to a use/abuse relationship.

I came into this manga with a description that seriously included a description saying "friends with benefits." But this would be probably one of the most depressing friendships ever. When Koume actually wants to act like a friend towards Isobe, he pushes her out for good. When she starts to care about the burden he carries, he moves farther and farther away from her. When she says she's actually willing to listen, he begins to seriously withdraw. Yes, Koume has caught Isobe hurt. But it's Isobe who's unwilling to do get closer to anybody. What did he expect the kiss to do he was always begging for?

Isobe's rejection of Koume almost seems tit-for-tat, and her tears are genuine. It's odd that she says she wants the unhappy Isobe back, and in sense he was convenient to her. When Isobe calls her a manipulator, he's right. But that only describes the beginning of their relationship. When Koume started to attempt to bridge the gap, Isobe erected all the walls he could. If he accuses her of being too late... He gave her no chance to be in time. I think it's clear that she sees through part of his delusion, and rightfully so. But I also think that just loving Isobe probably wouldn't have healed him. The minute Isobe "smelled" love he was already withdrawing. Trying to reach someone is not manipulation, and the manipulation she might be guilty of is probably outweighed by her willingness to reconsider how she feels. But dropping her defenses just triggered his.

Of course I could be wrong and the way Koume treated Isobe initially was so emotionally jarring, it just kicked him down the stairs further. It's hard to say. I still think the way they react to love is the telling part. She's willing to change, he doubles down on his path into the abyss. The fact that she's imperfect, sometimes a coward, selfish... makes her human. She's not meant to be a perfect vessel of unconditional love. She's a person with lots of issues, and for that, she's probably doing fine - or rather, eventually, the best she can.

"A Girl on the Shore" is pretty raw, emotionally. It's cruel. Characters are mean to each other in pretty shocking ways, and the situation they find themselves in is also cruel. It's also, in my book, an unfinished story. It seems more interested in driving the train against the wall in the last few chapters than in giving us well-paced resolution. Then takes one on.

The reason I feel so ambiguous about the ending is not that I feel it doesn't fit. It just presents too few data points to tell what is what. If Koume really loves her boyfriend, we don't know. Should we just take it at face value? We missed two years, dropped one protagonist. We're reeling. And before you stop reeling, the story ends. In this sense, this is a problem of pace. And maybe the author simply sucks at writing "the happy part."

I'm not sure what the final chapter was meant to do or who it is for. It's like another story cut short, or a development rushed to present it, but it itself is packed in its own awkwardness it's unwilling to unpack properly, and to top it off, combined with "baseball guy's" ... "confession." It calls into question the ability to grow when it simultaneously reveals that after two years of being a couple nothing has grown between those two other characters deemed good enough to not throw it away on a whim. This weird juxtaposition increases the ambiguity I feel towards the end.

The ending feels so unfinished I looked for clues of Isobe in it. I even projected him into the kissing couple in the background, even though I know it's unlikely to have taken this turn. That's how much I felt the lack of resolution.

Where does that leave us? For its own imperfections, this manga is a work of art. It may not be a positive one, and where it is positive, it may unconvincing, but it is transmitting quite a bit of emotion, and creates quite a cast of realistic characters, even if they go through stereotypical actions and archetypical roles at times. It's an emotional drama and a psychological study, and I guess it doesn't really present us with a moral, more with an observation with very few filters in place. The reader is sometimes observer, sometimes voyeur, sometimes hoping for the characters. But in the end, you have to let it go. You can't solve it. Is that a message? It's at least... art.

[c-jay321]

he hit All Might’s head!!!!!  >:(

i’m so confused.... but i enjoyed reading this