#i don't often drink let alone by myself like i swear i don't have a problem i think the fact that i rarely drink is actually the source

[poetka]

Nooo I wanted to try soju so I bought some at the asian market today where I was buying oyster mushrooms and I got the apple flavoured lotte one and it's so nice and sweet I quickly drank the whole bottle and just now it hit me like a fucking truck bro I am buzzing

[benedictscanvas]

pretty boy, pretty girl - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k

a/n: okay yes. it has been six months. which is actually mad to me, but there we are - whoops! i've been off following my dream and wrote this while procrastinating an assignment, so this is by no means a return!! honestly i was just itching to write it, but i don't know how much time i have for more - enjoy nevertheless <3

warnings: just a little bit of suggestion towards the end, reader is referred to as 'pretty girl' as the title implies amongst other pet names, quite a lot of swearing (some things don't change)

---

“Hi love.”

Jamie barely murmurs it as he walks past you, can’t help himself but to drag a palm along your back, one shoulder blade to the other, as he goes. 

He knows he’s bold sometimes, but he swears it’s instinct. He glances back to see whether your expression holds any discomfort, but all he finds is your grin, a tiny wave. He continues on his path towards the canteen, knowing that your corridor conversation with Rebecca is probably important.

Somewhere between here and there, he decides to get your lunch, your usual, and sits alone on a table until you appear.

You do, three and a half minutes later. As soon as he sees you, the irrepressible urge to make you grin again is back with a vengeance. He waves you over to his table with a gesture to the food he’s got for you and- there it is again.

If he was a slightly smarter man, maybe he’d consider why all it took was the sight of him to draw your lips upwards, set your eyes alight.

“Thought I’d save y’ from the queue,” he speaks, still soft, in a tone he feels he only uses with you. You match his unnecessary low volume.

“Thanks, angel,” you say easily, and you must not see his stomach doing flips, “Too good to me, you are.”

“Shut up,” he deflects, wonders if you can see him fluster at your nickname for him, “Are you still coming tonight?”

You groan. He frowns, and you quickly correct.

“Sorry. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, you sound proper convinced, an’ all.”

You chuckle, taking a bite out of your sandwich and taking a pause to chew. Jamie eats too, content to let you think before you speak. It was slowly teaching him to do the same.

“I’m just boring, Jamie. My favourite people are all under this roof, but usually they’re sober, you know?”

He often forgets you don’t really drink. Your friendship (however sour that word feels in relation to you) usually confined to these halls, to the pitch, to various football stadiums up and down the country. When they all get a chance to let loose, you’re very quick with the excuses, but he’s believed them blindly until this moment.

“Shit, y’ don’t drink, right? I can’t imagine that’s much fun in a club. I won’t tell anyone if you happen to come down with an illness or somethin’ this afternoon.”

You’re grinning at him again, all bright and sunny. It’s downright infectious, so Jamie nudges your foot with his on purpose and then apologises like it’s an accident.

“You’re alright,” you reassure, “I will join tonight. Even if it just proves to myself I’m not missing out on anything. Maybe Colin’s not as bad a drunk as I’ve been led to believe.”

Jamie winces.

“No, he is pretty bad,” he admits and then finally comes up with something to make you more comfortable, “Hey, what about this? I won’t drink either and we can spend the evening laughin’ at everyone else.”

You poke his hand and he tries not to drop his crisp packet.

“It’s everyone’s ‘relax and recharge’ night, Ted said. We both know you relax much easier with a few drinks in you. And I’d never judge anyone for that, I really hope it doesn’t come across like I’m judging any-“

“It doesn’t, sweetness,” he cuts in, “But actually, I’ll relax better if I’m one hundred percent positive that you’re relaxing too. What better way than judgin’ everyone else, together like?”

You purse your lips thoughtfully, mid-chew. He feels like he’s holding his breath, like he’s underwater and you’re in charge of the oxygen tank.

“Well, see how you feel when we’re there. It sounds lovely but only if you’re still up for it when we’re right next to a bar,” you say, still unconvinced. He wants to convince you fully, but he can’t decide if he should argue with you or kiss you silly before you speak again, “Hey, if not, I’ll buy you a drink?”

“Pretty sure that’s my line, love.”

“I said it, I meant it. Girls can buy drinks for pretty boys, you know.”

He thinks you might have removed his oxygen tank now. There’s some cruelty in that sentence but you don’t know you’re wielding it. He wills himself to flirt back even though it’ll only make him feel sick.

“Okay, pretty girl. One passionfruit J2O, please.”

Another grin. He’s so fucking fucked.

---

He’s been waiting for you for around forty minutes. He doesn’t know if that’s the normal amount of time you take to get ready, even if he wishes he knew, so he just waits, leaning against his car.

After fifty, he decides there’s no harm in just checking you’re alright and haven’t slipped on a sparkly floor that an evening cleaner has done a number on.

You mentioned going to the kit room to get changed, and he meets Will on his way there.

“Hey mate, you seen Y/N?”

Will looks paler than he’s ever been. Guilty. Jamie narrows his eyes and waits.

“Kit room.”

It’s all that Will says. When Jamie doesn’t walk off immediately, still waiting for an explanation for Will’s strange demeanour, Will turns around and legs it all the way down the corridor, turns left at the end and never returns.

Jamie shakes his head and continues in the direction of the kit room. The closer he gets, the more he hears. Muffled banging, shouting. He picks up the pace.

“Y/N? Love?”

“Jamie! Jamie, in here!”

Your voice floats out from the kit room and he hurries over. Still very confused, Jamie turns the door handle and finds the door won’t budge, however hard he shoves his shoulder against it.

“It’s locked, babe. Did you lock it?”

He hears your exasperated sigh and feels a little embarrassed.

“No I didn’t bleeding lock it! Well, I did, when I was getting changed, but then when I unlocked it my side it had been locked from the outside.”

Jamie struggled to put the dots together. Had Will locked you in? Judging by the running, he had… and he’d done it on purpose. A spark of anger shot down Jamie’s spine but he tried to convince himself there must be a reason.

Before he could, there was a hand on his on the door, pulling him away. It was being unlocked by another hand and then he was being shoved inside, hard enough to stumble against one of the benches. A piece of paper was thrown at his face and Jamie groaned as he heard the lock click back in place.

“What the fuck?” he muttered as he stood up fully, more dazed than angry now as he stared at the locked door.

“Jesus, Jamie, are you alright? Who the fuck was that?”

“I dunno,” he says, staring at the door as if it might have answers. Your hand on his face wakes him up, his eyes shifting to yours where you look him over with concern.

“You’re alright, though?”

You ask it like you need the answer, and Jamie needs you to stop trailing a finger along his hairline either way.

“Fine, love,” he assures you, patting the juncture between your shoulder and neck gently until your hands drop to your sides. Then he raises his voice, and he’s not really talking to you anymore, “Whoever’s locked us in here as some kind of joke won’t be fuckin’ alright though!”

No answer. He picks up the small piece of paper from the floor and reads it in his head.

Tell her, you prick.

He’s actually going to hit Roy with his car. Lightly, definitely not enough to damage him, but enough to really, really piss him off.

This was all some ridiculous attempt to make him tell you how he felt about you? Absolutely not. Never. He wouldn’t be coerced into something so delicate, so important.

“What’s it say?”

You’re peering over the top of the paper, but he folds it in two before you can read anything. His chuckle comes out strained.

“It says: Get fucking pranked. Must be Roy, he’s probably scared Will into helpin’ him, the fucker. I’m afraid it’s payback for putting all his socks on the ceiling last week, babe, an’ you’ve been caught in the middle.”

You pause, staring at your shoes. For some reason, you look far more forlorn than the situation calls for, but it’s gone before he can think about it further.

“On the ceiling?”

He nods and you giggle. It’s only as you step away from him in your laughter that he realises how close you had been. He should’ve savoured it.

It’s also only as you step away that Jamie finally gets a glimpse of your outfit and nearly reaches out to the nearby bench for strength. He’s never seen you in a v-neck anything before, let alone a dress, and he thinks it might do him in.

“You look good,” he says lamely, then tries again, “Great. Fan-fuckin’-tastic, I mean.”

“I like that last one,” you smile, ducking your head. He thinks, or rather hopes, you’re a little flustered, “Fan-fuckin’-tastic happens to be what I was going for.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, words gone as soon as he’d found them. And now he was staring. Shit.

“I like your suit,” you say, maybe breathless yourself. It must be his ears. You reach up as if you might fiddle with his lapel but just point towards it before your hand drops again. You practically fall down onto the bench you’re both stood beside and he follows, ever obedient, “Shame no one else will ever see it. How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”

The suit isn’t for anyone except you. That’s what he’d say if he had any stupid bravery. He’s an awful coward, he thinks.

“Until Roy gets bored or Keeley finds out I reckon,” Jamie guesses, “Y’ wanna play I-spy?”

You sigh, but when he peeks at you out of the corner of his eye, you’re grinning your silly, lovely grin again.

“I spy with my little eye…”

---

It is around 11pm, when Jamie has not long fallen asleep against the jacket he had scrunched behind his head, that he feels your hand on his ankle. He can tell, as he wakes without opening his eyes, that you’re not trying to rouse him. The touch is light, feathery. Maybe an accident.

No, not an accident. It wouldn’t have lasted this long, and your thumb is drawing absentminded circles into his ankle bone. You think he’s asleep and you’ve reached out to hold him anyway.

He opens his eyes but doesn’t move. His legs are stretched out on the bench in front of him and you sit upright next his sock-clad feet, one hand on his bare ankle. You’re staring at a piece of paper so intently he wonders what could possibly be so interesting.

“This doesn’t say get fucking pranked, Jamie,” you murmur, and his hand flies to his jacket pocket. It must have fallen out when he slumped into a slumber. He’s sat up in a blink, watching the hand that had been so soothing, fall back at your side suddenly.

“I’m sorry. Shit. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“No, don’t,” you insist, still staring at the piece of paper. Instead of whirling on him for answers, you reach calmly into one of the boot cubbies beside your head and pull out a piece of paper from one of the boots. You chuck it at him without looking.

He unfolds it with careful, if shaky, hands.

Tell him, you silly shit.

It takes him an absurdly long time to understand what the hell this second piece of paper means. Later, when the two of you look back on this moment (and you do so often), you’ll wonder how he could have been so dense and he’ll spin you a line about how too good to be true it all felt. But in the moment, he has no lines and no words, until your hand lands heavy on his knee this time.

“Jamie,” you say softly, through a grin that is so different from your usual that he could pass out. It’s so beautiful and so strikingly lovesick that he thinks he might actually be sick, “What do you have to tell me?”

“What?”

He feels dumber than he’s ever felt. But your hand is still on his knee and now you’re shuffling closer to him on the bench.

“What do you have to tell me?” you repeat, then you poke his chest playfully as you add, “You prick.”

He still looks confused, so you clearly decide the best way to catch him up is to kiss him.

You pull away after a moment, a moment of pure heaven, because clearly you don't want to kiss him fully until he's all clued in.

"Come on, pretty boy," you say, teasing, "Figure it out. I was going to buy you a passionfruit J2O. It's the sign of all signs."

He should be laughing at your joke, but all he really wants to do is kiss you again. And again.

Maybe again.

"Oh pretty girl," he says, and he feels the rumble of his low tone in his chest. He places a hand on your face, fingers itching at your hairline, "I'll tell you anything ya wanna hear, I swear. Anythin'."

He hears your breath hitch, but he feels it too, where the meat of his palm is covering your neck.

"Anything?" you answer back, "I could have a lot of fun with this."

You scrunch up your brow like you're thinking and he's so stupidly in love with you that he just tells you. Too-soon be damned.

"Smooth talker," you laugh, giddy, and you kiss him again. And it's so good that he doesn't even remember you didn't say it back until hours later.

(at which point, you say it back so many times and in so many ways, Jamie is certain that he's the luckiest man in the world. he might not hit Roy with his car after all)

[libraryledge]

A Wild Ride (A Story Inspired by The Bikeriders)

Author's Note: Last week, I watched the film, "The Bikeriders" and highly recommend it. I was inspired to write a short story about Benny and Kathy, without major spoilers from the film. Enjoy!

It had been a long time since I'd had a night out. I was a busy gal, usually running errands or tending to matters at home. It wasn't like I was unhappy, it was more like I felt unfulfilled. I needed this night out, but my friend's decision to meet up at a sketchy bar was not my typical definition of fun. 

First of all, I wasn't a drinker. I didn't mind when others drank, but I could not stomach liquor. Secondly, this bar was filled to the brim with creeps. From the moment I set foot inside, I could feel the unavoidable male gaze on every inch of my body.

When I finally made my way to the table where my friend was sitting, I was overcome by a wave of relief.

“Geez! Could this place be any creepier?” I asked with exasperation. As soon as the words left my mouth, a guy at least 10 years older than me approached me and gave me a toothy grin.

“Hey pretty darlin’, mind if I take you out tonight?” he asked without shame of his putrid beer breath.

“Ugh! Yes, I do mind. Now let me be!” I said diverting my attention back to my friend. However, she was engrossed in a conversation with a man in the biker jacket. I assumed that he was part of the riding club, based on his attire. 

I sighed and allowed my eyes to wander around the room. Everywhere I looked men were either smoking, drinking, swearing, or doing all three simultaneously.

Eventually, my wandering eyes landed upon a young man who was playing at the pool table. He had a lean build, but his arm were very muscular. He seemed to be avoiding the hullabaloo of the crowd, and his sole intention appeared to be winning at the game in front of him.

Suddenly, he looked up from the table, and for a brief second, we made eye contact. I quickly looked away to avoid looking like a creep myself. 

I turned toward my friend who was still talking a mile a minute with the biker guy. I nudged her. 

“Who is that?” I asked, lowering my voice to avoid being overheard.

My friend looked up and gave me a quizzical look. “That's Benny. He visits here often and is a motorcycle enthusiast. You don't want to cross paths with him," she replied, giving me a side-eyed glance.

“Why not?” I asked, wondering what kind of history this mysterious man had.

“Don’t take it personally. It’s the advice I’d give to anyone. No gal wants to be caught dead with him. He's a reckless driver. One ride on his bike, and you can kiss your hopes and dreams goodbye,” she replied with a roll of her eyes, before diverting her attention back to the biker man.

With a twinge of annoyance, I turned my gaze back towards the pool table only to see that it was empty. Benny was gone.

The night droned on. My friend got drunker and drunker by the moment, and by her fourth drink, I’d had enough. I made up an excuse about needing to tend to some matters at home, and I made my quick escape.

The night air was chilly and unsettling. I knew that it was stupid to walk home alone in the middle of the night, but did I really have a choice? Just as I was about to begin my journey home, I heard the door to the bar open behind me. Benny walked outside and lit a cigarette. I knew that he saw me, but he didn't interact with me, which I assumed was because he wanted to give me space rather than because he wanted to be disrespectful. The scent of smoke lingered in the air, and normally it would have bothered me, but for some reason it didn't disturb me.

I continued walking, but didn't get very far because a large group of drunk and rowdy bikers came bounding out of the bar. I picked up the pace, but wasn't fast enough. 

They spotted me, and the smelly old beer guzzler, who attempted to flirt with me earlier, cornered me with an obnoxiously pleased look. 

“Hey little lady! Thought you could dash off without a good night kiss?” he said, with a nauseating sneer.

I swore at him and told him to get lost. I managed to escape from his path, only to come face to face with another equally as revolting biker.

“Ah! Can't you tell that she doesn't want to see your ugly face?” he snorted in amusement.

“Go screw yourself!” I yelled at him and began speed walking in the opposite direction, towards Benny, who was now sitting upon an older motorcycle.  I assumed it was his by the way he gently positioned his palms upon the handlebars.

Benny made eye contact with me as if to silently say, “Are you alright?” I watched as he steadied himself upon the front of the bike, leaving an open space behind him on the seat.

The men were approaching me, and I could hear them hooting and hollering. My eyes darted back towards Benny, and it was at that moment that I decided to push aside any hesitation and go for it. Despite not having any liquor in my system, I felt the electricity of a person, whose courage was being powered by one too many drinks.

I hopped onto the back of Benny's motorcycle and whispered in his ear, “I live at 44228 Russo Lane. Please, I need a ride home.”

A surprise look crossed Benny's tanned face, but it slowly morphed into one of amusement.

“Alright then. Hold on tight. I'm not known to take it easy,” he said with a chuckle.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms around his back and secured my grip around his torso. Benny revved up the engine, and I felt the motor rumble below me.

I had no idea what was driving the sudden rebellion inside of me, but it was certainly worth it to see the flabbergasted looks upon the faces of the other bikers as I rode away with my arms wrapped around Benny.

“So long boys. Hasta la vista!” I shouted over my shoulder, as we bolted out of the bar’s parking lot.

I felt the wind rushing through my hair as Benny  picked up speed and we went bounding down the street.

"Do I get to know your name?” Benny asked, over the thundering engine.

I let out a loud laugh. “Kathy,” I said, feeling the adrenaline build up in my chest.

“Kathy. That’s a beautiful name. Now hold on tight. I don't want to be the last person you introduce yourself to," he replied.

I chuckled. At least he was aware of the reputation he carried. Somehow, I wasn't afraid. Maybe it was the crisp scent of his cologne mixed with smoke that put me at ease.

I tightened my grip around him and replied, "I guess that's the risk I take for hitching a ride with a stranger.”

Benny let out a hearty laugh. “Darn right!” he exclaimed.

I had never ridden on a motorcycle, but I always admired those who made it seem so effortless. Bob Dylan, Marlon Brando, and even James Dean couldn't rival the charisma that Benny oozed as we rode into the night.

Eventually, we pulled up in front of my driveway, and as the motor slowed, my heartbeat quickened. I carefully made my way off of the bike and was now standing on the sidewalk in front of my house, positioned face to face with Benny.

“Well, I guess you made it home in one piece," he said with a teasing look in his eyes.

“Thank you. That wouldn’t have been the case if I lingered around that bar any longer,” I replied gratefully. “I swear I don't make a habit out of hitching rides with strangers.”

Benny grinned mischievously. “I hope after this I won't remain a stranger.”

Something about the way he said that lit a fire in me. “No, you're right. I don't think that will do," I responded, matching his playful tone.

Benny grinned. “Tomorrow, I’m meeting a few guys over at the abandoned lot, behind the town center. I could pick you up if you don't mind your life flashing before your eyes again,” he joked.

“You really know how to treat a gal,” I replied with a smile.

“I try,” he responded with a grin, as he started the engine, gave me a small wave, and went rumbling down the street once more.

I watched as he disappeared into the darkness. My night started off with a horrible social outing, surrounded by idiots. Somehow, amidst the chaos, I found comfort in a lonely bike rider, and I decided to trust him. Maybe I had a desire for rebellion, or maybe I was yearning for romance, but all I knew was that if I followed Benny, I was in for a wild ride.

[amberdagger]

i'm low on gas and you need a jacket

steve-o x fem!reader, set in 2003 idk how to categorise or summarise this tbh lol. loosely inspired by the lyrics of i'm low on gas and you need a jacket by ptv warnings: drugs/alcohol mentioned, swearing, suggestive content, barely proofread (i'm lazy) notes: i wrote this in first person, present tense and i don't know if i like it. i also have zero confidence in my writing lol.

My apartment is dark, save for the light of the TV. I’ve flicked through every channel a few times tonight but haven’t found anything appealing. I turned the volume all the way down and let the images play out silently. It’s never really silent in this apartment, though. Living in LA means a constant symphony of sirens and shouts, often accompanied by partying neighbours. 

Sighing, I peel myself off the couch and wander over to the cabinet that houses my hi-fi system and CD collection. ‘Warning’ by Green Day catches my eye, so I pull it from its spot on the shelf, open the case and place the disc into the player. After pressing play and turning up the volume, I shuffle over to the tiny kitchen and wash one of the dirty glasses laying in the sink. I grab a can of Red Bull from the nearly empty refrigerator and the half-empty bottle of Jägermeister from on top of the fridge, setting them on the countertop next to the newly clean glass. I fish some ice cubes out of the tray in the freezer and they clink as I drop them into the glass. I crack open the can of Red Bull and empty most of its contents into the glass, leaving space for a shot (or two) of the Jäger. 

God, it would be nice to have a balcony to sit on while I drink. Too bad, I have to settle for the couch. The sweetness of the Red Bull masks the bitterness of the Jäger, making it far too easy to drink. Drinking alone on a Friday night. How depressing. I focus on the music, feeling the vibrations and mumbling along with the lyrics. The time passes quickly, slipping away. Before too long, the CD stops spinning and I’m left in relative silence with my empty glass. The one drink was enough to get me feeling buzzed from the mixture of caffeine and alcohol. With nothing to do, I figure I might as well get some sleep.

My pyjamas are in a pile at the edge of my bed. I slip out of my jeans and t-shirt and replace them with the tank top and boxer shorts that I always sleep in. Right as I’m about to turn off my bedroom light and hop into bed, I hear knocking on my front door. Who the hell is knocking at this time? The cops? Why would the cops be here? The knocking continues, getting louder and more obnoxious. Christ. I trudge back out to the living room and peer through the peephole to see who’s there.

Steve-O.

My heart leaps up into my throat and my stomach drops. I haven’t seen Steve in months. What is he doing here? I’m surprised he was even able to remember my address.  “Dude! I know you’re in there, let me in!” He shouts. I fumble to get the door unlocked and open it. He stands there in the dingy hallway with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face. Unsurprisingly, he reeks of beer and weed. 

“Steve, what the hell are you doing here?” “It’s a long story dude, can I come in?” I barely have a chance to nod before he stumbles across the threshold and throws his arms around my shoulders, nearly knocking me over. I drag him over to the couch and let him flop down onto it. 

“So, what are you doing here?” “Me and the guys were all staying in Palm Springs, partying, y’know. We kind of wrecked the hotel room I was staying in so they kicked us out. Palm Springs sucks anyway so I got someone to drive me to LA.” “You got someone to drive you two hours in the middle of the night?” “Yeah, dude. They were heading this way anyway.” I scoff in disbelief. “Okay so that’s why you’re in LA. But why did you decide to show up on my doorstep at 2am?” “Thought you’d be stoked to see me, babe.” Babe? My cheeks flush with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. I pray it’s too dark and he’s too wasted to notice. 

I sit on the couch next to him with a beleaguered sigh.  “What, so you just came to hang out?” I pressed. “Jesus, what’s with all the questions, lady?” I shoot him a glare, prompting him to answer, “yeah, sure, I came to hang out or whatever.” “Steve, I was about to go to bed before you showed up.” “Alright then, let’s go to bed,” he chuckled, practically jumping up off the couch. Before I can even say anything, he’s off down the narrow hall towards my bedroom. I get up and chase after him.

When I reach my room, he’s already laying on the bed doing a goofy “seductive” pose. “Seriously, Steve? You actually think I’m going to let you sleep in my bed?” “Sure, it’s not like we haven’t slept together before,” he said with a cheeky grin. “We did not sleep together. We hooked up. One time. Months ago.”  I stand in the doorway, practically glaring at him, waiting for a response. He was uncharacteristically quiet. After a moment, he speaks. “Come on babe, sit over here with me. Please?” He hauls himself up to a seated position, back resting against the headboard.  I roll my eyes and sigh in exasperation before dragging myself over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. We sit in uncomfortable silence. I’m exhausted, the buzz from the Jäger Bomb has worn off, and I have no clue what to say to him.

We had met for the first time at some spring break party. He was on the patio showing off some acrobatic tricks and I was sitting on the edge of the pool dangling my legs in the water, sipping my drink. I noticed him after he backflipped into the pool, splashing me as he hit the water.  “Sorry dude!” He laughed as I looked down at my soaked dress. He swam closer and introduced himself.  We got to chatting and after a couple of hours and several more drinks I took my chance. After all, he was pretty cute and happened to be famous. So, I’d leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “wanna go back to my place?” In response, he shouted to no one in particular, “I’m going to this chick’s house!” He put his arm around my shoulder and we left the party together. We stumbled to my apartment (it was only a couple of blocks from the party), giggling like idiots as I unlocked the front door. As soon as it was shut behind us, he pulled me to him, one hand on my waist and the other on the back of my neck. We kissed as I led us to the couch.  After hooking up, he fell asleep on the couch and I scribbled my phone number on a scrap of paper. I left it on the coffee table and slinked off to my bedroom.  When I woke up the next morning, groggy from the hangover, he was gone and so was the scrap of paper with my number on it. I had figured that was probably the end of my acquaintance with Steve-O. A drunken one-night-stand.

The next weekend I was stocking my fridge with Miller Lite in preparation for a little get-together I was hosting when my cellphone chimed. The text message read, “party 2nite?” From a number I didn’t recognise.  “Who’s asking?” I sent back. “steve-o” My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the screen in disbelief. I called the number and he picked up after a couple of rings. “Hey dude! What’s up?” I heard him through the speaker. “I’m having a little get-together with some friends at my place later, if you’re looking for a party.” “Yeah dude!” He cheered.

He brought a rabble of friends and acquaintances to my tiny apartment that night and they practically destroyed the place. The party died down after several hours and a lot of knocking from pissed off neighbours, and I watched him leave with one of my friends. Once again, I figured I would never see him again. However, the next morning I woke to the sound of my cellphone ringing. It was Steve-O. “Dude, sick party last night!” “Yeah,” I said coldly. “You and your buddies wrecked my house and I got my first noise complaint.” Anger burned my throat as I held myself back from screaming into the phone. “That’s how you know it was a-“ I heard him say before I hung up on him.

Months passed without a phone call or a text message. I had done my best to forget about Steve-O. 

I feel the bed move as he shifts around, hating the silence. He clears his throat and says, “so… uh…” I turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He looks down to avoid my gaze.  “I’m sorry.” I’m taken aback. I was hoping for an apology but I didn’t expect to receive one. “It was totally shitty of me to wreck your place, I should have come back to clean up. I should have apologised. I’ve been thinking about it ever since. I wanted to call you so many times but I couldn’t do it. I fucked up.” I’m completely stunned by his sincerity. I can’t comprehend the fact that he’s actually owning up to his shit. He looks sheepish, like he’s expecting me to rip into him.  “Oh. Yeah, well… um… thanks for apologising, Steve.” I reach over and place my hand on his knee reassuringly. He releases the breath he was holding, relieved. Gently, he places his hand over mine and squeezes it softly.  I move to sit closer to him, leaning back against the headboard. “If you need a place to sleep tonight, I won’t kick you out. As long as you promise not to break anything,” I say quietly, resting the side of my head on his shoulder. He chuckles lightly. “I promise. Thanks, dude.” He places a kiss on the top of my head. “Don’t push your luck, Steve.” I say, giving him a playful shove. 

We fall asleep in silence, save for our breathing and the consistent hum of city noise. 

[ppjeterka]

get to know me tag! i can’t remember the last time i did one of these, it was probably like 3 tumblr accounts and a decade ago lol. thank you @edwinamistressofthecart for the tag!!

do you make your bed? no but next question let’s not talk about it

what's your job? just finished undergrad and am on the full-time job hunt for the first time what if i died

if you could go back to school, would you? at this stage in my life the only way you are forcing me back into full-time studenthood is if you’re keeping me at gunpoint the whole time. But grad school is still definitely something i’m planning on doing in the future so eventually (or not so eventually) yes 😞

can you parallel park? yes!! but don’t ask me to do it on a one lane road with cars behind me i swear to god i’ll crash the car and kill us both

do you think aliens are real? very much so yes! something something fermi paradox something something it’s a special brand of human narcissism to believe we are alone in the universe

can you drive a manual car? nope

guilty pleasure? hrpf but I'm losing my shame about it LMAO (tennis rpf now too...)

tattoos? just the one for now! got it just before i turned 19 on a trip I took with my friend to san francisco. We both opted for ribcage tattoos because we had to hide them from our parents 😭

favorite color? evergreen green

favorite type of music? I'm so musically illiterate it pains me haha but I don't have loyalty to any particular genre/sound! While my knowledge is shallow I'd say my taste is wide. One thing I can say is that I was listening to chappell roan a couple of months before she really took off. So there. I'm also a huge rina sawayama fan!

(I am begging people to recommend me music)

do you like puzzles? only if i’m doing them with someone else who isn’t competitive about it

any phobias? nothing too crazy, not the best with heights, but only in situations where it's actually feasible I might fall

favorite childhood sport?

This genuinely feels like a lifetime ago but I was actually pretty good at horseback riding when I was younger (haven't been on a horse in a hot minute though). I also liked soccer but I was dogshit at it

do you talk to yourself? yeap

tea or coffee? Tea!! I also told myself in high school that I would save my coffee drinking for college so that any given cup would theoretically be more potent because I wouldn’t have had any caffeine immunity built up by then. then I went to college and promptly forgot to drink any coffee. So, tea. (I conveniently forgot that many types of tea also have caffeine, but alas)

first thing you wanted to be be when growing up? veterinarian

what movies do you adore? My mom and I have watched The Man From UNCLE maybe nine times? I also had a one month phase when I was ten where I was obsessed with Hairspray and watched it seven times, which is embarrassing but I feel some obligation to mention it here. Besides that, I adore Kung Fu Hustle, EEAAO, and I am on record saying that Challengers was my favorite movie going experience ever (admittedly, I don’t go to the cinema very often)

I don’t know people on hockey tumblr enough to be tagging them out of the blue 😭 but to anyone that wants to do this tag, take this as me tagging you!

[loverhymeswith]

(slips you a crumpled up dollar bill) you uhhh you got any more of those Takeshi detective AU fics? maybe a lil bit of patching him up turned sexual? or anything really, I’m just jonesing for another part of the AU because I love your work so much

People Get Hurt | Takeshi Kovacs x Reader

People Disappear Here

Word Count: 1,478 words

Warnings: Swearing, injuries

A/N: Thank you for the request, lovely. I hope you don't mind but I took this in a slightly different direction, inspired heavily by the gif above. Thank you to the wonderful @a-reader-and-a-writer for beta reading. Your feedback means the world to me <3

Kovacs, to both your relief and surprise, doesn’t drive you to your apartment. Lapsing into a familiar stony silence following his phone call with Poe, he takes you back to the office instead. Whatever moment passed between the two of you at the docks seems to be over, but by now you’re acquainted with his mood swings well enough not to let it bother you too much. At the end of the day, you went directly against his orders and quite frankly it’s a miracle that he hasn’t started yelling at you yet.

On returning to the office, you find yourself being led straight past a disgruntled looking Poe before you can even open your mouth. In fact, you barely manage to offer him an apologetic grimace before Kovacs ushers you up the stairs. Although you’ve worked at Raven Investigations for over a year now, you have never ventured further than the ground floor, preferring to leave him to the privacy of his quarters. On the increasingly frequent mornings where he needs to be woken from a drink-induced stupor, you send Poe instead.

“What are we doing?” you finally ask, dazed and more than a little confused as he opens the door to what you can only assume must be his bedroom. A quick glance around confirms your suspicions as your eyes land on a carton of cigarettes and a half-empty bottle of liquor on the small wooden table in the corner. The room is otherwise sparsely furnished and - if you’re being honest - it hardly looks lived in.

“Need to clean those cuts,” he grunts, gesturing for you to take a seat on the pristinely made bed.

It’s the first thing he’s said to you since you climbed into his car and you can’t help but feel a little stunned. Apart from the persistent headache, you’d mostly forgotten about your injuries. Peering down now, you inspect your bloody and bruised knuckles.They look much worse than they feel and you’re sure Kovacs has far more important business to be taking care of right now – like cleaning up the mess at the dock.

“I’m fine.”

“You want an infection?”

“No,” you mumble, mostly to yourself as he disappears into the en-suite bathroom. But you’re so not sure you want to be here either, alone with a brooding Kovacs and without Poe to play mediator.

While the investigator’s attitude to you has certainly thawed over the last few months, you’re conscious that you often walk a fine line between amusing and irritating him and despite what he said earlier – that he couldn’t bear if anything happened to you – you know better than to read too much into his words. You’ve been dancing around your feelings for him for a while now, but there’s never been any doubt in your mind that those feelings are and always will be unrequited.

When Kovacs returns from the bathroom, he’s carrying a small medical kit. At least now you know how he takes care of the frequent cuts and bruises you often see him sporting, evidence of yet another brawl marking his otherwise flawless skin.

Finding that you haven’t moved from the threshold, he raises his eyebrow. “Be a lot easier if you sat down.”

“Just give me the kit. I can do it myself.”

“Do you think that just this once you could do what I ask without a fight?”

There’s no venom behind his words, but it doesn’t make it any easier to gauge what he’s thinking. Still, if there’s one thing you’ve learnt from working with Kovacs for all this time it’s how to pick your battles. The only reason you’re here is because you made a mistake. It only seems fair that you face the consequences.

Resisting the burning temptation to respond, you approach the bed and cautiously perch on the edge, conscious of his gaze following you across the room. Seemingly satisfied by your lack of argument, Kovacs closes the distance until he’s looming over you. With surprisingly delicate hands he scoops your hair to the side, parting the strands carefully until he locates the source of the injury. When he presses something to your scalp you wince at the stinging sensation but otherwise remain frozen, staring down at a cigarette burn on the carpet.

You’ve never found it easy to hold your tongue around Kovacs and as he tends to your wound, now is no exception. “Is it bad?” you ask. The bleeding seemed to have stopped a while ago, but it still feels tender beneath his touch.

“Could have been a lot worse, but you don’t need stitches.”

Relieved to hear that he’s not going to force you into going to the hospital, your shoulders slump. You think you might have insisted on him stitching you up himself before you step foot in one of the city’s clinics.

“You should take some painkillers, though,” he tells you, moving away.

You mumble your agreement, feeling the mattress sink beneath his weight as he joins you on the bed. Wordlessly, he reaches for your wrist. Holding it gently in his much larger hand, he begins to dab your knuckles with a fresh antiseptic pad. You grit your teeth against the sting, but he’s too focused on the task at hand to notice your discomfort.

“So fucking stupid,” he grumbles under his breath, jaw clenching as he works.

Instantly, your cheeks heat with embarrassment and your stomach drops. He can’t even bring himself to look at you. It’s a startling change in tune from when he found you, but you don’t know why you’re surprised. It was only a matter of time.

“I never should have agreed to take you on.”

“Tak,” you plead suddenly, forgetting your silent agreement not to fight. It feels as if you’ve had the wind knocked out of you. “It was a mistake. I told you I was sorry, and it won’t happen again.” You hate the desperation coating your words, but you can’t let him do this. You can’t lose this job.

He pauses his ministrations and slowly looks up at you, thick fingers still wrapped around your wrist. When his hazel eyes finally meet yours, they’re limned with silver and there’s shame and guilt etched across his beautiful face. The sight of him causes your chest to constrict. He appears so broken, so wounded even though it’s you who’s bleeding.

“I wasn’t talking about you,” he grinds out. “All of this is on me. People…” he takes a deep breath. “People get hurt around me. You could have been killed and it’s all my fault.”

He’s so close, you can’t help but reach out to him with your free hand, brushing your fingers softly over the curve of his stubbled cheek. “It’s not your fault, Tak,” you murmur. “I was stupid – reckless. I didn’t listen to you…”

Unwilling or unable to believe you, he shakes his head, eyes shuttering as he drops your wrist. Panic starts to pool in your veins. You can’t let him pull away from you. Not now. Not like this. Not when everything is on the line.

Hands shaking, you cup his jaw, forcing him to look at you. “Please don’t fire me, Tak. This job is all I have. You are all I have.”

Silently, he tilts his head until your brows are almost touching, and you prepare yourself for the worst – prepare yourself for the world to come crashing down, because of course he’s going to let you go. How can he trust you? You’ve proven yourself to be a liability that he doesn’t need, and although it wasn’t his fault, people do tend to get hurt in his presence.

“I’m not going to fire you.”

A surge of relief cascades through your body, filling your lungs with much needed air, but he’s not finished yet.

“Don’t you realise, I can’t do this without you?” he murmurs without moving away. “I don’t want to do this without you. The thought that one day you might not be here… that one day I won’t catch you watching me from across the desk, drinking cup after cup of that terrible coffee… that one day, I’ll never get to see your beautiful smile again. It kills me.”

Your hands still haven’t moved, out of shock more than anything else, but as his words slowly start to sink in, your thumb strokes a shaking path along his sharp cheekbone and down to the swell of his lips. Your eyes are glued to his face, waiting for any sign that you should back off. But it doesn’t come, and as you trace the shape of his mouth, his lips part almost imperceptibly.

“Tak-” you start, but before you can finish your sentence, he’s cupping the back of your head and closing the remaining distance as your mouths come crashing together.

Joel Taglist: @weallhaveadestiny @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly@yespolkadotkitty @skvatnavle @christinasyellowflowers @heresathreebee @bewitchedignition @kirsteng42 @fairchildflag @11thstreetvigilante @lavenderluna10 @immyownlittlebitch @mayhem24-7forever

[tbhchoi]

lemon water with a side of air hockey

pairing: hongjoong x female reader

genre: college/university au, strangers to friends / potential lovers, fluff, slice of life

synopsis: you were never one for college parties until one night your best friend drags you out to one. who knew it would lead you to playing air hockey in a basement with strangers.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: alcohol mention (party setting, reader doesn't drink), swearing

"please please please," your roommate continued to beg while following you into your bedroom.

"you know how much i hate parties," you protest.

"it's just one," she tried persuading, "if you hate it after tonight, you'll never have to go to another again"

you ignore her, sitting at your desk, opening your textbook to try and get some extra studying in for exams. it was silent for a few seconds; you really did think your roommate was going to leave you alone and stop bothering you over some stupid college party.

but then your math textbook was slammed shut in front of your face.

"chae!" you shout.

"one party," she pleads, getting on her knees.

"why do you even care if i go? i've never gone before."

it's been almost a full semester of classes and never once has your roommate, and best friend, ever tried so hard to get you to go out with her. usually she'd take your first no and go about her night.

"it's supposed to be one of the best parties of the year, a super popular friend group is hosting it and their parties are always amazing," she says as if that changes anything, "and maybe you could even get laid."

you whip your ahead around, "excuse me??"

"cmon," she whines, "you always hang in our place studying or watching the latest episode of whatever show you're currently into. i just want you to go out for a night and have a good time and be relaxed, i want homework to be the last thing on your mind for once."

"exams are coming up, i need to study, i can't fail."

"and you won't, y/n, one night of freedom and then you can study as much as you want, i'll even study with you if you want," she says while getting up off her knees and making her way towards your bed.

"i think theres an even bigger chance of me failing if i let you help me," you say.

"hey," she says while tossing one of your throw pillows at you, missing you completely.

"but," you start and before you can even get your sentence out she's in front of your face looking at you with hopeful eyes, "i'll go this once, if i don't like it then never again, and please don't leave me alone."

she tugs you into a hug, bouncing in excitement, "thank you, thank you, thank you, i swear you won't regret it."

she runs out of your room shouting at you that you have an hour to get ready.

sighing, you got up from your desk and grudgingly made your way over to your closet. what do you even wear to a college party you thought.

after minutes of debating with yourself, you pull together what you thought was an okay outfit. that being a nude colored tight dress with a long knitted cardigan over it. cute but comfy you think.

you looked at yourself in the mirror. you didn't think you looked too bad for once. maybe i should put myself together more often was the last thought in your head before your best friend barged in again.

"damn you look good," she states, "why don't you ever wear dresses, they look great on you"

you ignore her, turning to look at what she has on, a sparkly short body con dress that's hugging all of her perfectly. you two really couldn't be more different.

"let's go!" she shouts tugging on your wrist.

—

"time to get shit faced," chae yells, walking into the party.

"yeah, time to definitely not do that," you reply, "i'll be drinking water tonight"

"suit yourself, i'm off to find the strongest thing here," she waves while walking away.

"what happened to not leaving me?" you sigh. you look around not knowing what to do or where to go, opting for an empty seat on one of the couches.

after a while of sitting around awkwardly, you make your way to the kitchen to try and find something to sip on that doesn’t involve alcohol. you figure chae’s long gone by now and you’ve accepted the fact that you’re going to be alone for the night. once in the kitchen, you find that the whole table is covered with an assortment of different alcohols and pre-poured cups filled with who knows what.

you look around, only spotting alcohol. you're about to give up on finding a drink, until you catch a drink pitcher in the corner of your eye. it's sitting on the counter, away from all the other beverages. walking towards it, you pray that it's water. you inspect it a little for safety measures, not being able to catch a heavy smell, you figure it’s plain water.

"it's just water," a voice cuts off your thoughts.

you turn around to face the mystery voice. you're faced with someone you’ve never seen, granted the only other person you really know is your best friend that’s ran off to who knows where. the next thought to occupy your mind is how incredibly handsome this man is. you stare at him at first, what he said not registering. however, as soon as it does, you’re broken out of your trance.

"oh," you say while grabbing a red cup, "thanks."

"no problem, not a big drinker?" he asks you as you pour the drink into your cup.

"not at all," you reply, setting the pitcher back down. you bring the cup up to take a sip, but stop as soon as you catch a whiff of it. being out of the pitcher, the drink now has a scent to it.

“it's lemon infusied or something,” he speaks almost as if hearing your thoughts, “my housemate makes it, something about being better for you i guess. it's what he drinks during the party too.”

accepting his explanation, you take a sip, “it’s really good, your friend makes some mean lemon water,” and wait? did he just say housemate?

“you live here?” you ask him.

"not to toot my own horn, but i’m surprised you didn’t know that,” he replies, “but yes, i do. i live with seven other guys.”

he lives here? that means he's part of the group of guys that threw this party? which means he's one of the ‘popular ones’? oh, oh.

now you don't know much about, well, really anyone at your university but you do know that your best friend has mentioned them on more than one occasion. so you'd assume they're kind of a big deal. as big of a deal as college students can be that is.

a lot of thoughts start to swirl around in your brain, you’ve always been an overthinker. thoughts such as, why was he talking to you? why would he? there are so many other people here that would gladly jump on him. which is something you wouldn’t do, yet. why was he mingling alone in here? isn't he the supposed 'life of the party'? and finally, why’s he still here, with you?

"if you don't want to answer, that's fine, i'll leave you alone. all you gotta do is tell me to fuck off," he says breaking you out of your thoughts.

being in your thoughts, you completely missed him talking to you, "i'm sorry, i didn't catch what you asked," you apologize.

"your name?"

"y/n."

“cute,” he says, "hongjoong," offering a welcoming smile, "consider me your partner in crime for the night."

—

before you know it, you’re checking your phone noticing two hours have already gone by. two hours of you talking to someone you’ve never met before in your life. this is completely out of your comfort zone and not something you’d ever do, or be able to do usually, but you’re loving every minute of it. and loving everything you’re learning about him.

after the introductions in the kitchen earlier, hongjoong and you decided to move out to the balcony where it's much less busy and hectic and best yet, you both have a place to sit. since you’ve been outside, you two really have talked about everything. you started off talking about majors, learning he’s in school for music composition. also learned that he actually isn’t a big fan of parties, despite what everyone thinks.

he truly was much different than you’d assume with his ‘talk of the campus’ title. you genuinely think he’s a good person and you know how much you’re wishing this to not be a one night thing. and that scares you for two reasons. one, you’re not good at this stuff and no matter how different he is from what you originally thought, you two are still complete opposites. he throws parties while you study. secondly, you’re not well versed with this atmosphere but you know, most things that happen at parties, end there as well. but still, a little sliver of hope thinks this could be the start to a new friendship. or more.

he’s talking to you about the latest song he’s writing when a head pops in. it’s another face you don't know, "hongjoong, i’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he says, “san's insisting he can beat you in air hockey again," he then looks over at you and offers you a friendly smile, "hey new face, any good at air hockey?"

is he talking to you? air hockey? this can’t end well.

"i've never played," you say looking at hongjoong. you notice a mischievous smile on his face and you definitely do not like where this is heading.

"well you're about to," hongjoong says while standing up and pulling your wrist towards the unknown guy.

"i'm wooyoung," he introduces himself, showing off an adorable smile, "the air hockey is downstairs, away from all of this," he says, motioning to the party.

all three of you head downstairs. you more or less being dragged by hongjoong, but for some reason you couldn’t find it in you to care. once you get down there, you’re greeted with six more faces you haven't met. with the realization that they’re all staring at you and hongjoong, or more specifically, his hand that’s still wrapped around your wrist.

"um," you speak lowly grabbing hongjoongs attention. you point to his hand on your wrist.

he chuckles out a quiet apology while rubbing the back of his neck. then, he goes to introduce you to the other guys, "this is san, the one who thinks he can beat me,” he jokingly scoffs, “then it’s mingi, jongho, seonghwa, yunho, and yeosang."

you hear a chorus of hi's and hello's from all around, offering a few back.

"alright alright, before i crush san's ego, i need a warmup game. yunho play me," hongjoong announces, starting an impromptu game of air hockey. he gives you a shy smile before heading over to the game.

cue the awkwardness you feel standing alone now since hongjoong left. you weren’t sure if it would be too weird for you to go sit over with all of the others or not. luckily, your thoughts didn't last long, as the person you remember to be san, comes up and stands next to you.

"y/n, right?" he asks.

"yes! san, right?" honestly only asking to double check with yourself.

he gives you a dimpled smile and nods, "what are you drinking?"

you look down at your cup, forgetting you even had your drink with you still, "oh, it's just that lemon water. one of you guys made it hongjoong said.”

"shit, no way?” then he shouts over to the group, “hey hwa, she’s drinking the water you made!”

you look over, noticing the guy he shouted at smiling, “it’s good right? i don’t drink and i think it’s a great alternative.” seonghwa says to you.

you smile, “it’s really good, if you ever try any other fruit infused water and need a taste tester, i’m your girl.”

he gives you a small chuckle letting out a quick 'i'll let you know' before going back to chatting with wooyoung.

the atmosphere with these guys is pretty shocking to you. you've always considered yourself a ‘rare breed’ being a college girl that doesn't drink, but finding a college guy and he’s in this group? it's weirdly comforting to you. and now you’re starting to admit that maybe you wrongly judged all college guys.

"now, the important question," san starts, "ever played air hockey?"

letting out a faint giggle, you answer, "actually, no i haven't, ever really."

"well,” he claps his hands together, “i'm more than happy to show you the ropes. i figure you're bound to get thrown into this little impromptu tournament at some point."

"i'd love that," you say. air hockey was never something you’ve found interest in, even when you went to arcades growing up. but for the first time in your life, the idea of playing air hockey with a bunch of strangers seems like the most exciting thing in the world right now.

before san has a chance to explain the rules, you cut him off with a question that’s been bothering you, "do you guys usually do this at parties? like you all threw a huge party and now you've just abandoned it for a few games of air hockey."

"i was waiting for this question," he replies, keeping his eye on the current game, "we all usually stay up there for a bit but if nothings really happening we do usually come down here to hang. believe me, it's much better than being sandwiched between sweaty bodies and having randoms bounce on you."

and wow, you really need to stop judging a book by its cover. or in this case, by their rumors.

“and you’re welcomed to join any time. bet joong would love it if you start coming more often,” he winks.

you can barely focus as he starts to explain the rules, because what does that mean. but no you tell yourself. you deny to think about it right now, just wanting to learn about the game.

it doesn’t take long for san to explain how it works, seeing as it’s probably one of the simplest games. still, you're unsure how well you’ll do but at least you know where to put the puck.

"i think next, joong and i will verse and it will go from there," he tells you, "will you be alright?"

you're grateful that he seems to care, "yes i will be, thank you."

a couple seconds of silence pass before he speaks up again, "you know," he starts off, giving him a look to let him know you're listening, "hongjoong doesn't ever really take interest in people he doesn't know, let alone a girl," he finishes.

and that was definitely not something you were expecting to hear. you feel your face start to turn red, causing you to resort back to being a ball of awkwardness, you stutter out an 'oh.'

"it's a good thing though, i think. something about you must have intrigued him," he tries to say, "but i'm all for it, you honestly seem like you'd be good for him."

this was now getting a little overwhelming for you. you’d be lying if you said you weren’t thinking about hongjoong since the second your eyes met. he's all you’ve been thinking of. you want to learn all about him, from the things that make him great to the things that make him break, that thought alone is crazy to you because you’ve known this man for maybe four hours.

"cheater!" yunho shouts, startling you.

"how do you even cheat in air hockey," hongjoong retorts.

"i'm not sure how, i just know you did."

you can’t help the smile that creeps up on your face while wooyoung is shouting at yunho that he's a loser.

"hongjoong, san, fight!" jongho shouts.

"this is not a duel, jongho," yeosang replies.

"y/n! come join us on the couch," wooyoung shouts.

—

“sucker!” hongjoong shouts at san.

“not fair,” san whines

“don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

“i hate both.”

you let out a chuckle listening to the two go back and forth due to hongjoong’s winning. you spent the last half hour talking to the rest of the guys. all as nice as the next. you learned about their studies while they also took in interest in yours. they all could probably tell that you’re a little out of your zone being here, but they made you feel as comfortable as possible. all of them told you you’re welcome any time you’d like. and of course the conversation couldn’t have gone on without a few sly comments about you and hongjoong.

“y/n?” san asks, getting your attention.

“yes?” you smile up at him.

“i lost, which means you’ll be versing joong, you okay with that?”

you look past san’s shoulder, over at hongjoong who’s already smiling at you. you send him a playful glare before looking back at san, “better than okay.”

both of you are at your respective ends of the hockey table and you swear in your 21 years of living, you have never felt this competitive. this was also apparently this biggest match of the night, as all of the guys were now surrounding you two.

“it’s first to ten, okay?” yeosang says.

you nod, giving your attention to hongjoong, “oh it’s on.”

he smiles, “like donkey king.”

—

“and that’s 10 for y/n!” yeosang shouts.

you look at the tiny score board that’s attached to the table, it reads 9-10, signaling that you did in fact win. in the blink of an eye, all the guys start jumping and celebrating and shouting phrases like ‘go y/n’ or saying they knew you’d win.

“total beginners luck,” hongjoong argues.

“look who finally beat you at your own game,” wooyoung teases.

“yeah yeah yeah,” he waves them off, looking at you, “good job, you did really good for never playing before, i was definitely expecting some flying pucks.”

you laugh giving him a short thank you. the other guys start challenging you to matches against them and who are you to say no.

"bring it on," you say to your next competitor.

before you know it, you’ve played against almost all of the guys, winning against all of them. you really did have a stroke of beginners luck. you look over to the couches to see a few of the guys asleep, the others chatting amongst themselves. you take a glance at your phone. seeing a notification from chae saying she won’t be home tonight but the main thing you take notice of is the time. it's already a quarter after four am.

“y/n,” hongjoong grabs your attention, “it’s getting really late and almost everyone has gone home, would you like me to take you home?”

“please, that’d be great.” you tell him because if you don’t hit your pillow within the next thirty minutes you might pass out.

“which dorms do you live in?” he asks you.

“i'm in the upper east halls.”

“oh that’s really close to here, we could walk it, is that okay?”

“perfect.”

as you and hongjoong are walking back to your place, you two make decent small talk about your favorite places on campus and food. there's never an awkward moment between you two, which youre very grateful for.

“i know the guys probably mentioned me around you a lot tonight, i’m sorry about that,” he apologizes.

how’d he know about that you think.

“they did mention you a bit, or one of them said how you don’t really take interest in other people.”

“it'ss true,” is all he says.

“then can i ask, why me?”

he lets out a sigh and for a moment you’re afraid you overstepped but in the next breath he starts explaining to you.

“i've noticed you before, awhile ago.” he says.

you're shocked to the point where you stop moving and look at him. because he noticed you? The girl who does nothing but stick by her best friends side and studies?

“you go to the library a lot, wherever you go you always have a book in your hand or the latest study material.” he continues, “you’ve just always intrigued me, and you’re really pretty too.”

a faint blush spreads across your cheeks, hoping he can’t notice it in the darkness.

“that’s really sweet hongjoong,” you tell him sincerely.

"i've just wanted to get to know you for awhile," he says, "i'm hoping you'd be willing to get to know me as well."

“well, i can’t say i’ve noticed you, i try to stay to myself, but i do know that after tonight, i’d really like to get to know you more and see you again,” you tell him.

he breaks out into the biggest smile, offering you his phone so you could put your number into it. you two exchange numbers and when you look up, you’re face to face with your dormitory.

“thank you for a great night, hongjoong,” you tell him.

“of course, get in safely and rest well,” he tells you before walking back the way he came.

once you make it in your room, you make sure the door is locked before going to your dresser and pulling out a set of comfy clothes. getting changed quickly, you hop into bed, thinking about everything that happened tonight. thinking of how you almost missed all of it because you were being too stubborn with your roommate. you can’t wait to see chae tomorrow, already knowing she's going to give you a big 'i told you so' speech.

as you were getting settled in bed, you heard your phone buzz. you leaned over to where it was plugged in at and checked to see who it was.

from: hongjoong 4:38am

you free next weekend? the guys are already telling me they need a rematch against you

before you had a chance to reply, another text came through

from: hongjoong

and i'd also like to see you

—

© tbhchoi. all rights reserved. all reposts, along with translations are prohibited.

[matchmakerecorner]

Hii can i request 🐇 twisted wonderland Matchup?

I'm female, she/her my horoscope is leo and my mbti is istp 5w4 548

I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else. I mostly spends my time as a stoic and a calm person and i might even come off as apathetic towards the world around me [even tho I’m not]. I’m usually perceived as being insensitive because i generally prefer to deal with emotions in my own head rather than openly [and somehow I'm still well liked?!] tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process. I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. I'm very playful and if I believe I'm right I'll passive agressivly fight you to prove my point [even if I'm wrong]. Like i said i have hard time committing to something i loose interest, motivation and get bored rather easily.

Likes: i like cats and snakes i would love to have one as a pet, horror genre, greek mythology, Japanese urban legends, analog horror, listening to true crime, listening to music, my favourite genre in music is indie and alternative rock, i love spicy food, i enjoy having deep conversations, philosophy, psychology, ancient Greek and roman history, i have love hate relationship with sea food especially cooked fish.

Dislikes: i dislike dogs [I don't hate them i just can't bring myself to love them], sweets, those soap operas my grandmother watches everyday, when people make chewing or drinking sounds, when people baby talk or when grown adults are acting like a literal child, those "protection squad" things, when people [besides my parents] tell me what i should and shouldn't do, "you should smile more :-D" ;-; no, quiet places [i can't sleep in quiet room], heat I'm naturally very warm and i swear easily so I can't stand heat, unnecessary physical contact especially during summer, i dislike winter and snow.

Hobbies: there really isn't anything I'm passionate about but i enjoy reading, listening to music, watching horror movies, watching analog horror videos, listening to true crime.

🐇 | I've decided to match you with...

☆ Jamil really appreciates your calm personality. It's such a breath of fresh air from when he has to deal with Kalim.

☆ He's also not too much of a physically affectionate person. The most he'll do is hold your hand in really large crowds so you don't accidentally get split up. And if you aren't comfortable with that, he doesn't mind just having your pinkies intertwined. Sometimes he'll give you a kiss here and there, but won't do it unless you're okay with it.

☆ His form of affection lies in acts of service. He'll make you your favorite meals, take care of you when you're sick/hurt, etc.

☆ He's not afraid to call you out if you say/do something wrong. Although he does love you, he's not going to baby you. He'll do nice things for you, give you encouragement, and hear you out if you ever need to rant/vent. He hopes that you'll call him out and encourage him as well.

☆ Jamil enjoys learning about different histories with you. He actually finds them very interesting. Sometimes he'll even get different books to binge. And then when you're done, you both can talk about what you read, kind of like a mini book club that doesn't happen regularly.

☆ He understands that you can't stand the heat, so whenever you both go on dates, he always goes to you. He won't make you walk around in the desert outside the Scarabia dorm. If you ever do end up going somewhere hot, he brings lots of water and/or your favorite drinks. He'll even bring you something to block the sun from your eyes, it doesn't matter what you need. He will prioritize your needs.

☆ He also enjoys reading. There are definitely times where the two of you will be sitting next to/across from each other in the library, just listening to music while you're doing your own things. With the occasional conversation here and there. Jamil really cherishes the time you both have together, whether you're talking or not. Just your company alone is enough for him.

The Other Choice(s):

Malleus: He won't give you any physical affection without your permission. But he also enjoys chatting with you about philosophy! Maybe if you allow him to/take an interest, he'll tell you all about the valley of thorns and the history behind it. He can talk about the different stories Lilia used to tell him as well. Anything that interests you, he will try his best to try it as well!

Jade: He would enjoy watching/reading about different crimes with you. Jade is also the type of person to do things for you, and he's a (semi) gentleman, so he won't go past your boundaries!

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

A/n: Hello! I really hope this was to your liking! If you there's something you don't like/don't like the matchups, please send me another ask and I'll try again. Thank you for requesting. Have a nice day! ^^

.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜

| Teleportation: The Map Room | Matchmaking |

[animeyanderelover]

Hello! I really like writing about Tobirama x uchiha!Reader. it could be possible with a request with them with promts 53. "It's funny that you think you can actually leave me."With the situation that he, before being Hokage, tried to confess his love but failed, he only insulted her for being a uchiha. Maybe she loved him.With sadness, she leaves Konoha and started to feel better.But tobirama became a Hokage, he finally found her ... If possible? I don't know if I explain it well 😅 Thank you!

Uchiha and Tobirama is indeed a funny thing to write about.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, manipulation, mentions of violence, degradation, mocking

Prompt 53: “It is funny that you think you can actually leave me.”

Flashback

“So you’re giving my clan the fault for what happened with Madara?! Our clan had nothing to do with that! We didn’t know that he would go to such great lengths!” You yelled angrily at the silver haired man sitting in front of him. You couldn’t believe him! What had gotten into him. Just a few moments ago the both of you had just taken a peaceful walking through the village with him bringing you to a more isolated area where he wanted to tell you something. And you had hoped that this something would be a confession. But the moment he had opened his mouth he had started wrong, telling you that your clan truly meant trouble for the village, especially with Madara betraying them. “But you could have stopped him, couldn’t you? But you did nothing! Do you even know that my brother could have died risking his life for all of you?!” “If you came here to just insult me you could have done it anywhere else! By the way, it isn’t like you did much to help him either! You just sat here and did nothing! When you were so suspicious of us, why did you let us join this village in the first place?! What would you have done if your brother would have died there all alone with you not doing anything?! Would you have executed us?!” The moment you said that you knew that you had hit a nerve. You knew that Tobirama, even though he often had told you that his brother was an idiot, deeply cared for him. For a moment he looked shocked before his expression hardened. “You Uchiha are all the same. You are damn traitors. I bet you planned this with him, didn’t you? You wanted to take revenge on us because we forced you into submission. Your pride must have been crushed when we stopped fighting and made this contract to finally bring peace between us. But I should have known that all of you are just thirsty for fighting. You are all the same. This village will go under because of your cursed clan! I should have killed more of you when I had the chance too!”

That hurt. He might as well just have kicked you in your stomach. He himself seemed a bit surprised about what he had just said. “Apologize. Now.” Your voice sounded firm and harsh, but under it’s surface you could feel how it threatened to crack at any moment. Both of you just glared at each other and the longer you stared at him, the more you felt the tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. But Tobirama didn’t say anything. He just watched you and for a short moment you imagined that you saw a flash of guilt and pain coloring his eyes. But it was quickly replaced by a coldness that shattered any hope in you. He just sneered and turned away from you, not looking like he gave a shit. “If you leave now I swear, I’ll never want to see you anywhere near me again!” This caused him to froze temporarily. You glared angrily at his back. You didn’t want him to go. To some degree you could understand him. He was angry because Madara Uchiha, the previous head of your clan, had nearly killed his brother in a fight. Your clan had been just as shocked as him. But that was no reason to let his anger and frustration out on you and your clan. You really hadn’t known about anything. “(y/n)...” You perked up when you heard his restrained voice, trying to not insult you even more than he already did. “Just leave me alone.” This was the last time you saw him for a long time. And to be honest, you wished your last memory with him would have been a more pretty one. Instead it consisted of him turning his back on you and leaving with you just staring behind him before deciding to turn around as well and not wasting a glance back.

Flashback End

“Seriously Tobirama? How pathetic are you? You come now to apologize to me after all this time? What did you expect to happen? That I would just forgive you and we could start acting like nothing has ever happened? Grow up and come back when you have learned how to make up for your mistakes.” You took uninterested a sip from your drink and threw a quick glance at the man who was sitting on the opposite from you. He didn’t say anything, it took him already enough power to try to apologize to you. But he really had nerves to suddenly show up at your front door. But who were you to deny the second Hokage the entry in your small and humble home? “How did you even find me? Did my family tell you? You know, I wanted to make sure to never see your face again. Brings back nasty memories.” His eyebrow twitched when hearing you talking so disrespectful to him. “(y/n), please be a bit more respectful. Just because you aren’t a citizen anymore and are close to me doesn’t mean you can just speak so disrespectful to me.”, he explained, trying to sound calm. “Oh! I’m sorry! I forgot that you are now the Hokage. My whole clan must have thrown a party when hearing this.” Your voice was basically dripping with sarcasm. “By the way, please don’t speak in the present tense. We were close. Now we aren’t. Shouldn’t the fact that I moved away signal you that I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore? The only reason I let you in is because I wanted to show you that I hold, different from you, no terribly huge grudges like you.”

You knew how to pull his strings to tick him off. And by now he was damn close to letting his temper getting the better of him. “What do you want? Did you only came here to apologize? If yes then please leave. You should work on your apology a bit more. Why don’t you try it in one week again? Maybe then I can find it in my heart to-“ You didn’t get to finish your sentence because suddenly Tobirama stood swiftly up, the sudden impact causing the chair to bang on the ground and slammed his hands on the table, spilling all the tea in your cup over the table top. You should have expected that to happen, but his small outburst still caused you to flinch surprised. But that only lasted for a few seconds before you sighed annoyed. “Look at the mess you made. Now I have to clean that up. Your temper is still like it used to be. You should try to relax for once. You take things too serious. Try yoga or pilates. Maybe that helps your hothead cooling down a bit.” You were playing a dangerous game now. You knew that. But you still had after all those years the bruises from the hurtful he had said about you and your clan. And you could see that he was collecting his last bit of self-control now. He was clenching his fists tightly and took deep breaths to calm down. You didn’t interrupt or say anything to him. You knew that one more word would lead him to another outburst. Worse than the last one. In your opinion you had shot enough venomous arrows at him.

After a few moments Tobirama seemed to calm down. “I’m here because I want you to come back to the Leaf Village.” You blinked surprised. Did you just hear that right? “Excuse me?” “I want you to come back to the village.” Was here serious? For a few moments you just gave him a stunned look before you started to laugh out loudly as if you just had heard the most ridiculous thing in your life. It was probably even one of the most ridiculous things you had heard. “You can’t be serious. You do know that I left Konohagakure because I wanted too. And I like it here. It’s tranquil and peaceful. I know that my family isn’t the happiest with my decision, but they accepted it. And now that you’re officially the Hokage you think you can just drag me back. Hell no.” “But I already apologized. Look, I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have been so cruel to you back then. But now I want you to come back. I don’t ask this as the Hokage, but as your old friend.” You observed him closer. He seemed sincere about it. A heavy sigh escaped your lips. “I appreciate it that you try so hard to gain my forgiveness. I might consider forgiving you. But Tobirama, I’m happy here. At the beginning I only came here to calm down a bit. But this place has become my home. It isn’t like I abandon my old village. But I just like it here. And if you’re really my old friend you should accept that.”

That definitely wasn’t what he wanted to hear. You could see that he was about to protest, but you just silenced him by saying something before he could. “Nothing what you could say will change my mind. If you would be so polite and leave my home now. I can’t really say that it was nice having you here, but at least I got a long overdue apology.” You gestured told the door. “Please go. I wish you a save journey back. Greet my family for me and tell them I’m doing fine if you can.” But Tobirama didn’t move. He just stood there and gave you an intense look. “I think I didn’t make myself clear enough. I. Want. You. To. Come. With. Me.” You narrowed your eyes. His voice was strict and commanding. This wasn’t a friendly request anymore where you could just reject it you felt like it. This was a command where you had no other choice, but to obey. “Didn’t you just tell me a few minutes ago that you asked me as a good friend? Why do I have the feeling then that I don’t get to choose in here? Are you such a sore loser? Leave my house. Instantly.” “Or what?” He was challenging you, you saw that on his small smirk. “If you don’t want to leave my house, then I’ll do it. When I come back and you’re still in here I won’t care if you’re the Hokage or not. I’ll kick your ass out of here and will send you flying.”

“What if I would say that the house is surrounded from Anbu who will prevent you from running away?” Your hand froze on the doorknob. What? Was he joking? No. You knew him too well. The tone in his voice told you that he had meant every single word. You slowly turned around, activating your Sharingan. “What did you do?” Tobirama had by now sat down on the chair, watching you with an entertained look on his face. “Only making sure that you can’t escape me again?” Again? You didn’t have to ask for an explanation. He did it by himself. “You know what was the reason why I wanted to talk to you in the first a few years ago? Because I loved you. And I still do.” For the shortest of moments you felt your serious face dropping, being replaced by a confused and shocked expression. He was what?! “I thought you thought of me and my clan as traitors.”, you sneered at him. “I did. That was probably why I had such a hard time accepting it and why I insulted you so much.” You scoffed. “You are an idiot when it comes to expressing your feelings. Making someone believe that you hate them isn’t the best way to court someone. And you still don’t do it right. Don’t tell me that you’re here because you want me back. I admit that I might have loved you back then, but not anymore. You become from second to second more unbearable for me. Accept my rejection like a man instead of being a sore loser.” You angrily turned around and slammed the door open. “I don’t care that there are Anbu out there. I’ll finish them off. Just because I don’t work as a shinobi anymore doesn’t mean that I also can’t fight anymore.”

Just as you were about to step out you were suddenly yanked back by the asshole itself. “It is funny that you think you can actually leave me.” Right now he was just mocking you. “Bastard!” With one swift movement you grabbed his arm, turned around that you were suddenly standing behind him and slammed him in the ground, twisting his arm painfully around. “Out. Of. My. House. And. Life.” You spit each word slowly out so that the message would get through his thick skull. “You didn’t get rusty during your time here, did you?” His confident tone pissed you off. “However,” You noticed suddenly something glimmering in the last rays of sunlight. Something that came flying straight through your opened door. A kunai! Damn these Anbu guy. You hadn’t anything to dodge so the only option you had left was jumping away to not get stabbed by it. And this split second where you moved away from him was all Tobirama needed. If it wouldn’t have been for your Sharingan you wouldn’t have been able to process his movements. It wasn’t like you could react in time. In the next moment you were the one being pressed into the wooden floor, your back facing him.

“That wasn’t fair play!”, you yelled angrily, trying to free yourself from his tight grip. “Stop whining like this. You know that most fights are never fair.” You couldn’t shake him off. He had decreased your abilities to move highly so that you couldn’t do much and unless you could turn your head around like an owl did your Sharingan wouldn’t be from much use here either. “So what now? Are you going to drag me back to your village so I can become your little housewife? Sorry, not gonna happen. You should know that I don’t give up that easily. And if I have to claw my way through the whole Anbu, I promise I will escape again. If I’m at it I might also use the chance to ruin that handsome face of yours because your grin makes my guts churn.” Tobirama chuckled a bit. “You still have such a naughty little tongue. But I guess that’s normal in such a situation. But I know you won’t run away. Wanna know why?” You felt his weight shifting on top of you a bit and in the next moment you felt his warm breath tickling your earlobe. “Because you care for your family and don’t want anything to happen to them.” Your heart stopped beating for a short moment. Was he threatening your family now?

“You wouldn’t.” Your voice was slightly shaking. “As the Hokage it’s your job to make sure that the villagers are safe. By doing this you could risk losing your position as the Hokage as well as the trust and respect from pretty much everyone. Not to forget the fact that I would make you pay dearly if you should ever think of harming my family.” You couldn’t twist your head enough to see him, but you could almost picture the grin he had now on his face. “Who said that I’m gonna get caught? I can and I will and attacking me wouldn’t be very smart. You’re strong, but not even you can do much when you’re outnumbered. Not like I’m an easy opponent either. So let’s make a deal.” You were seething by now, wanting to scratch him, bite him, do something to him! “You come back to the village with me and will move into my house. You won’t tell anybody about what happened in here and if everything goes well we will announce our engagement very soon to the village.” He felt horrible all of your muscles tensed extremely up, signing him that you were about to start fighting him again. “Or you decide to be selfish and fight me. Then I think I might have to set the one or another rumor up and sign a few documents. And just like that your family could lose their jobs and houses. But you aren’t going to be that egotistic, are you? Plus all the troubles I would have to drag you back.”

You were shaking by now, you didn’t know if it was due to the storm of anger inside of you or due to the terror which caused you to break out in cold sweat. “So you basically give me the choice of coming willingly and giving up my life or deciding to fight where you’ll use my family against me and still drag me back? So it doesn’t even matter what I choose since the result will remain the same!” “But how much trouble you’ll give others and yourself can be avoided if you make the right choice.” It was so unfair. He had really calculated everything in, hadn’t he? You relaxed your body, a sign that you were giving up. “Fine. I’ll go with you. Asshole.” “I knew you would be smart enough to choose wisely. But I would appreciate it if you would stop calling your future fiancé such names. After all we’re going to spend the rest of our lifes together.” He traced your shoulders in an almost lovingly manner. Tobirama obviously enjoyed the thought of you and him together. You on the other hand could have thrown up.

[terrm9]

Father’s Day

Ethan makes sure to celebrate the Father’s Day with his daughter. (Ethan X Chiara X Matilda)

Words count: 4 000

Warnings: two swear words, fluff

Author’s note: I don’t know what happened here guys. I am so sorry, this fic lacks plot and point, depth, quality, this truly is one fluffy piece of shit. I had a good feeling about it when the idea appeared in my brain and then I started to write and nothing seemed right. And I just kept telling myself ‘just keep writing and it will start making sense. It will get better’... and suddenly the fic is finished and it still doesn’t make sense. I was so close to not posting it, but then I thought that sometimes mindless fluff can make my mood better and so maybe it can do some good to you too. Love you all and I promise I won’t be angry or hurt if you hate this:D

Also Ethan is ~47 in this fic, if you thought I wouldn't mention his graying hair, I am sorry but I did

Also also, I didn't find the strength needed for a proof reading this and so I didn't proof read it. If you see a mistake, please pretend you don't see it

The sun was long set at the time Ethan stepped into the apartment and even though he rationally knew that it was late, he couldn’t quite give up on his hope that maybe Matilda was still up. On the days like this, when more patients came in than out of the hospital and there was so much of a paperwork that he has to bring it home with him, there is nothing Ethan loved more than to put his daughter to sleep and then spend a nice quiet evening with Chiara.

But of course, Matilda was fast asleep – judging by the silence filling the whole apartment – and so Ethan was looking forward to skipping to the part of sharing an evening with his wife.

Chiara didn’t notice him as he stepped into the living room, her nose slightly crinkled as she was filling some papers spread on the dining table, white earpods in her ears.

Looks like I am not the only one to bring work home with me today.

Ethan stopped in his tracks for a moment, just inhaling the familiar scent of Chiara and home and absorbing the picture in front of him. Even after alsmot ten years since he met her for the first time, even though she was his wife now, someone he woke up next to every morning, Chiara still – always – managed to knock the air out of his lungs. How her smile only gained more brightness through the years and how she looked almost like a girl with her hair braided on one side.

Had he been an artist, he would call her his muse.

But he was just a man, a doctor with any artistic words stuck in his throat and so he just kept staring at Chiara and thought, inspiration, that’s what she was, because even the most rational of men could get inspired.

„I can feel you standing there,“ Chiara exclaimed suddenly, putting the earpods off and turning to him with that bright smile.

„My apologies,“ he smiled faintly and crossed the distance between them to give her, what Chiara called ‚a proper greeting‘. He kissed her softly and it only took the feeling of Chiara’s warm body under his hands to ease the tension in him almost completely.

„Matilda missed you tonight,“ Chiara murmured into his chest, not willing to break their embrance.

„As I missed her,“ Ethan sighed. „Did you have an eventful afternoon?“

Chiara chuckled at that, parting from him at last to switch her phone off and leave the work on the dining table.

„Just the usual. The teacher asked them to draw themselves in the future and she couldn’t decide which version of that future she should draw because she wants to be everything.“

Ethan could imagine the conversation very well. Matilda, at the age of five, knew exactly what she didn't want to become when she grows up - a doctor. She kept shifting between wishing to be a travel blogger like her aunt Kyra or a photographer like aunt Alicia. After a weekend spent in Providence, she proclaimed that she could also imagine being a cable repairwoman like grandpa, because grandpa has the coolest coworkers that came over and let her eat chocolate cookies and watch football with them. And if by any unfortunate coincidence she should become a doctor after all, she would definitely be a surgeon like uncle Bryce, because he actually cuts people and that's much more interesting than her parents' job. All they do is talk about the patients.

„I promised her you would take her to school tomorrow. You have rounds in the morning but I can taker over,“ which would only be a service for you, she thought to herself. „That would certainly make her feel better.“

„Was she that sad that I didn’t come home earlier?“

"Oh, she was more sad about the Father's Day program at her school – you know, the one where kids and their dads go together - but I explained her why you had to miss it."

Ethan furrowed his brows, confused for a while.

"Why do I have to miss it?" he asked as he picked Matilda's stuffed llama from the floor.

"It's the Wednesday when you are at the conference in Seattle."

Ethan put the toy on the couch next to Til's favourite blanket and sat down before responding, his voice carrying no sign of hesitation.

"If there's a Father's Day program at her school and she wants me to be there, I'll be there."

Ethan knew all too well why he was so persistent on being there.

He wished he didn’t know, but he did.

Because he knew what it felt like to spend so many of his Mother’s Days programms with his teeth gritted, wishing it could all just end.

He could still remember the first Mother’s Day without Luise, how his teacher walked into the class and told them that they would create nice postcards for their moms and how Ethan’s classmate pointed his finger at him and said: „And what is Ramsey going to do? It’s not fair that he doesn’t need to do anything for the whole hour.“

It was the first time Ethan punched someone.

There was no way, no way, that he would allow his daughter to feel any of those feelings.

His thoughts were interrupted by Chiara, now sitting right next to him, a soft concern visible on her features.

„Alan and Naveen would go with her, you know. She wouldn’t be alone.“

„I am her father.“

„And you are also an author of the study this whole conference is going to be about.“

Ethan knew Chiara was right, just as he knew that she was doing this not because she didn’t want him to attend the programm, rather because she respected and supported his career.

But her arguments were of no use. Ethan’s mind was made up and he only wondered if this is what it felt like, all those years ago, when he pushed Chiara away in order to support her career. The idea of putting career first was making him uncomfortable and all he could do was to think, how did Chiara see it all those years ago?

Or rather, how did he not see it back then?

He had no answers, only his gratitude that she stayed and showed him the world through her eyes.

„Aurora is just as much of an author as me. She can handle the conference without me just fine. You can go with her.“

„Me?“ Chiara asked incredulously.

„Sure. They don’t really care which Dr. Ramsey will come.“

Ethan aged well. More wrinkles circled the corners of his eyes and the grey hair on his temples were not an optical illusion anymore (and Chiara has never found him more handsome than now) and his gaze changed too, the cold blue of his eyes almost forgotten, as his eyes were warm and soft almost all the time he was with his family.

Ethan aged and changed and yet there was a thing that didn’t change in the slightest in these last years. His insufferable stubborness.

And so Chiara knew that he won’t change his mind and that there was no point in trying to and while it warmed her heart to see how in love with Matilda Ethan was, the study was important to him.

Obviously not important enough, however, and Chiara decided not to push him any further. Instead, she asked curiously.

„And what are you going to perform? What if Matilda wants to do something crazy?" Chiara raised an eyebrow.

"Of course she won't want anything crazy. What if it were my father and Naveen taking her?"

Chiara laughed wholeheartedly at his question, because for someone so brilliant, sometimes Ethan was desperately clueless when it came to people around him - and what they were willing to do for their daughter.

"Please, this is Naveen and Alan you are talking about. Matilda could say she wants to sing Hakuna Matata and they would come dressed as Timon and Pumba."

"Ah," Ethan exhaled, obviously only now realizing that Chiara was, indeed, right. And singing - or dancing, for God's sake - was not part of his plan. "Well, she can play some basic compound on the piano, she has learned some already. And I could accompany her on the cello."

Chiara choked on the water she was just drinking, turning to look at Ethan so swiftly, his brows furrowed in a concern for her neck.

"On a what now?"

“A cello. I thought you knew that I used to play the cello as a kid.”

“Of course, but the as a kid part is important. I mean, I played a piano as a kid and now I couldn’t play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star if my life depended on it.”

Ethan laughed, wrapping his arm around Chiara in a half-hug and had to bite his tongue not to tell her that maybe Matilda could teach her, as she already could play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star exceptionally well.

“I might have stopped playing actively when I was ten, but I found a certain sense of serenity in music – and playing – for a long time after that. I-,” Ethan stopped himself, mulling over his next words. It was not like he didn’t want to tell Chiara anything, but talking about his years at med school was not something he did often. “I befriended a music shop’s owner back in Baltimore. He was a nice guy, barely older than me and so very different. He had musical instruments for sale there and as we became closer, he let me borrow the cello and play a little in the back of the shop. It became a thing that helped me clear my head when school became too stressful and it also helped me not to forget how to play. I think Matilda’s level on the piano is very close to what I can remember with the cello.”

Now all he had to do was to find someone who would borrow him the cello.

*** *** ***

Ethan always found it amusing, how his mornings with Matilda differed compared to Matilda’s mornings with Chiara.

He made sure to wake her up earlier than usual, so that they could cook breakfast together and have some time to spare.

Chiara – the person that hated mornings more than eggplants – did all she could to stay in bed for as long as possible. She would rather prepare Matilda’s breakfast in the evening and run to the school than wake up before 6 AM.

And it seemed like Matilda realized this difference quite soon, for all the times Ethan came to wake her up, she knew she could ask him to join her in bed for a few minutes.

"Hey, little Rookie," Ethan whispered, softly stroking Matilda's curls out of her forehead so that he could press a gentle kiss on it. "Time to wake up. We don't want to be late for school."

The little Rookie nickname was first used when Til was perhaps one year old and it made her giggle so hard Ethan kept using it. Chiara found it extremely funny, always pointing out that Matilda was nothing if not Ethan’s exact copy – and she was right. With her big blue eyes and long curly dark hair, there was no doubt that she was Ethan’s daughter. Not that the similarities ended in her physical appearence – she was phenomenally subborn for a five year old (to which Ethan always argued that she could as well inherit that from Chiara) and sarcasm was her second language. She also might have used ‚fuck‘ once or twice and Ethan knew it’s not Chiara she heard that from.

You should call her little Terminator, Chiara always teased and partly, she was right.

But there were many traits and marks of Chiara in their daughter, marks not so visible but unmistakely hers. How Matilda’s smile was always bright and warm and sincere, something only Chiara could pass on. How she came home one day from school and asked Ethan if he could make cupcakes with her, because her classmate loves cupcakes but his parents are too busy to make them for him and so she would love to bring him some to school. How she appreciated the most common of things, like sun shining because it makes her skin warm and also rain falling because she can jump in the puddles. Her genuine curiosity and open heart and just her general need to make people around her feel good.

That was all Chiara’s mark and Ethan loved his two girls so much it sometimes still surprised him. That he was capable of such love.

It also made him want more sometimes. More people to love that much.

„Snuggle time, please?“ Matilda smiled, her eyes still closed and Ethan was prepared, he knew this request would come and so he didn’t even need to check the watch to know that he could lay down next to her, the tiny bed making his position rather awkward.

He snuggled Matilda from behind and between her slow stirs as she began to wake up and his soft kisses put on the back of her head, he whispered how excited he was to attend the Father’s Day program with her.

*** *** ***

Ethan didn’t even need to try hard to persuade Matilda that a piano-cello duet would be better to perform than a dance. She liked the idea from the beginning and after going through her music sheets with Chiara, she happily exclaimed that they could try to learn Hedwig’s Theme together. Her eyes were bright and full of excitement and Ethan knew the decision was already made, because he couldn’t resist that face.

And so they performed and for a girl who was five and her father, who was almost fifty, they did a great job. Seeing Matilda’s pure, unadultered joy and excitement and so much gratitude that her dad could be there with here, was something Ethan would consider one of the best moments of his life forever.

Tillie was almost jumping up and down with the happiness as they watched her classmates and their fathers or grandfathers or mothers in some cases or maybe even uncles perform their numbers. She was clapping hard after every single one and she kept waving at everyone, her smile so wide Ethan thought for a while that she resembled Bryce more than anyone. The thought made him chuckle, because Matilda would love to hear that, as Bryce was her hero and possibly the best person she could spend her sleepovers at.

Ethan could hardly say that he enjoyed being surrounded by so many people, but he sincerely did enjoy spending the day with his kid. He didn’t regret choosing making a fool out of himself in front of bunch of kids instead of the conference. He almost forgot about the conference altogether until Aurora’s call interrupted the bustle full of laughter around them.

She only called him to let him know that all went well and she was off to have a lunch with other diagnosticians that helped with the study.

"Yes, alright. I'll see you on Monday. Good job, Aurora," Ethan put the phone back into his pocket and turned to Matilda.

"I am sorry you missed the conference because of me, dad."

Ethan knelt down so that he could face his daughter, the very same blue eyes he knew from mirrors, looking back at him, wide and curious.

He smiled softly, kissing Matilda's forehead before responding.

"I am not. No conference is that important, and just between the two of us," Ethan lowered his voice and put his best serious face on, causing the mischievous sparks ignite in Tillie's eyes "Conferences are so boring. You saved me from a torture."

She giggled and threw her arms around Ethan's neck, squeezing him as hard as a five years old could.

"Now let's go, I think there's an ice cream that needs to be eaten."

"But daddy you said ice creams are sugar bomb!"

Ethan chuckled at her shocked expression - not sure is it was a genuine one or an act - and took her little hand into his.

"I'll pretend I don't see you eating it."

Matilda squealed and before her ‚no sugar in this house‘ dad could change his mind, she stormed off in the direction of the ice cream truck.

Before she could reach her destination, however, she stopped in her tracks and tugged on Ethan’s sleeve, pointing at the little girl sitting under one of the trees – alone.

„That’s Dorothy! She is my best friend.“

Yes, Ethan remembered Matilda mentioning Dorsey, her best friend, quite often, but he never got a chance to meet her before. The girl was tiny, much smaller than Matilda – which inherited Ethan’s significant height, too – her hair almost white and her eyes similar to Matilda’s, big and blue but not even close to being as bright.

„She doesn’t have a dad,“ Matilda added, her voice much less excited now. „She didn’t want to come here but her mom has to be at work.“

Ethan’s heart tightened at her words, the description of Dorothy’s situation reminding him of his own when he was a kid way too much.

„Why don’t you go and ask her to join us for an ice cream?“ Ethan smiled at Matilda faintly.

Before he could as much as blink, Matilda was gone and in the very next moment, both girls were back, smiling up at him, his own kid widely and Dorothy very shyly.

„Hello, Dorothy,“ Ethan knelt down and smiled at her encouragingly. „I am Ethan. It is my pleasure to meet you, Matilda talks about you a lot.“

„Hello,“ Dorothy muttered, not meeting his eyes and Ethan noticed she was holding Matilda’s hand.

Without any other word, he stood up and led both girls to find an ice cream truck, only half-listening to what they were talking about – enough to recognize that Dorothy was much more open when talking to Matilda, but not enough to register particular words.

Maybe that’s why Matilda’s next question took him off the guard.

„Right, daddy? I was just telling Dorsey that you could be her dad, right? And I would be her sister!“

Ethan’s eyes widened and before he could find the right words – gentle but also firm enough to explain that that’s not exactly how these things work, Matilda spoke again.

„She could come over anytime and we could have sleepovers like the ones I have with uncle Bryce or grandpa and we would play together and I could borrow her my toys, right?“

Ethan nodded and smiled, of course Dorothy is always welcome to stay at our place, and let the topic go, because there was nothing wrong about his daughter having best friend that would come over.

Thirty minutes later, all three of them sat at the grass and ate their ice creams and it was easy to forget the previous converstaions.

*** *** ***

Until he came into his office, a week after the Father’s Day and found Chiara waiting for him, her arms crossed at her chest and her expression unusually stoic.

Before he could ask what was wrong, Chiara spoke.

„Matilda’s teacher just called.“

„What?“ Ethan stepped closer, automatically reaching into his pocket to make sure his phone, wallet and car keys are there and he is ready to leave and pick up Matilda at any moment. „Is something wrong? Is she in trouble? Sick?“

„She is absolutely alright,“ Chiara shook her head sligthly, her face unreadable – something that scared Ethan more than her visible anger. „She just called me to let me know about the rumors going around Matilda’s class these past few days. She thought it would be better if I found out from her rather than from other parents.“

„Rumors?“ Ethan asked, utterly lost and confused.

It took all the willpower Chiara had not to let her facade slip and keep her expression neutral. But teasing Ethan was one of her main hobbies, even after ten years, and so she tried her best.

„Apparently, Matilda and Dorothy Wilkins told everyone that they are in fact sisters. They have different mommies but the same dad – no other than the famous Dr. Ramsey,“ now, it was really hard not to laugh. Ethan’s whole face paled and the confusion was quickly replaced by recognition. „The other kids shared the news with their parents and now those parents talk.“

Ethan didn’t know that Matilda told Chiara about her idea of Ethan becoming Dorothy’s dad the very same evening she shared it with Ethan himself and even though Chiara tried to explain why that idea is not going to work the way the wished it would, Matilda was stubborn. Meaning, Matilda adopted Dorothy as her sister anyway and didn’t mind sharing her dad with her.

„Fuck,“ Ethan whispered, pacing around the office, not really looking up at Chiara.

If he did, he would catch her grinning.

She cleared her throat quickly and added: „Some of the parents came to tell the poor teacher that they appreciate how civil the mothers of Matilda and Dorothy are about the whole thing and that it must’ve taken much strength of our spirits to put out kids into same school.“

She couldn’t anymore. The first chuckle escaped her and when Ethan’s eyes met hers, the mischievous sparks were dancing on full display in her irises, her smile wide and so amused.

Ethan exhaled a sigh full of relief and rolled his eyes and when he looked at Chiara again, she was laughing softly, badly trying to cover her laugh with the hand over her mouth.

The bizarreness of the whole situation and his wife’s reaction made Ethan laugh too and he slumped down on the couch, pulling Chiara with him.

„We should give some kind of explanation, right?“ he whispered when they both calmed down.

„Oh, I don’t know. I am the civil one,“ Chiara smirked smugly. „And with a strong spirit!“

Ethan laughed again at that, thinking about how any kind of rumors about him and Chiara startled him in the beginning of their relationship and how over the years, Chiara managed to teach him to just let people talk.

„She really wants that sibling, huh?“ Chiara broke the silence, poking his side softly.

„Yes, she does,“ Ethan nodded.

„And you would...want that too, right?“ Chiara asked again, this time much more seriousness in her voice.

Both Chiara and Ethan were decided to adopt a child back in the days they believed they would never have their own. After Matilda was born, they didn’t really talk about it anymore – they felt too blessed, too lucky that they’ve gotten her and they were happy.

But the thoughts of adoption never truly left their heads and Chiara knew that especially Ethan considered the option often. She could see him talking to Matilda when she asked for a sister or a brother for her birthday, she saw the dreamy smile as they spoke about little kids.

And it was not like she was against the idea of adopting a child – quite the opposite. She grew up with two siblings and her brother and sister were one of the best parts of her childhood. She wished she could give Matilda the same feeling, the same love she recieved at her age. She just felt like she would be asking for too much, like it would be selfish to want another little human that would make them happy, when they already had one.

Those thoughts were not rational, but they were there and they slowed her decisions down.

„Yes, I would,“ Ethan nodded after a long while, looking straight into Chiara’s eyes.

He would never push her. But he wouldn’t lie either.

Chiara nodded and leaned in to press a soft kiss on Ethan’s mouth, pouring her emotions into it, her excitement with the idea just as strong as her anxiety.

Deep down, she knew that the decision has just been made. That no matter how openly they talked about it or expressed themselves, all three Ramseys wished to share their love and happiness with another soul.

[lia-bones]

A thousand splinters of glass (Part 2)

Broken hearts.

Sirius Balck x Reader

Summary: After the argument, they are both in their room and are comforted by their friends. There comes a question. Can everything be alright again or is it all over and broken?

Warnings: angst, arguments, swear words, insults, broken heart, hint of alcohol consumption, tears.

(As always, misspellings, grammatical errors, translation errors.)

Words: 2743

Author's note: I'm sorry that the second part is so late. I wanted to have it written and uploaded earlier, but I broke part of my right hand at work, which made writing very difficult for me. But I did my best. Next week comes part three, which will probably be the last part.

I hope you enjoy reading 🌻

I made the GIF myself

* * *

After an hour (Y/N) noticed someone trying to open the door. She pressed her back tighter against the door, to prevent the person from entering. "Go the fuck away!" she shouted in a broken voice.

The push on the door stopped and something was moving behind it. "(Y/N)? What happened? Please let me in. Let me help you." she heard Lily's soft voice through the wood of. She didn't really want to see anyone at the moment. But Lily's presence and reassuring words had often helped her before. So she moved forward and whispered just loud enough "Lily. I need a big hug and some tea."

Lily slowly pushed open the door from the outside and stuck her head through the crack. She immediately saw (Y/N), still crouching on the floor, with bloodshot eyes, tear marks on her cheeks and red spots on her face. With quick steps she was with her friend and pulled her tightly into her arms.

(Y/N) buried her face in the crook of Lily's neck and sighed. Her friends stroked her hair and whispered soothing words as she hugged her tighter.

She let (Y/N) cry a little more before she took her by the shoulders to push her away from her a little and look into her face.

"Remus said they heard you yelling at each other, but they couldn't understand what it was about. What happened between you and Sirius?" Lily asked softly and gave her the Handkerchief from her pocket.

(Y/N) wiped it over her cheeks and eyes and smiled weakly at her friend.

"He accused me of cheating on him. With Remus. He yelled at me and called me slut."

she told what had happened, briefly closed her eyes and added ,"He threw a glass at me."

Lily's eyes widened in shock and she put a hand over her mouth.

(Y/N) bit her lip and turned her head to the side as tears came to her eyes again.

"But ... how does he come up with it. What does he think of throwing a glass at you? Did he even let you explain? That stupid ass." Lily asked angrily, shaking her head in disbelief.

(Y/N) shrugged and sniffed up.

"I don't know, I wanted to explain to him. Remus and I are just friends. But he continued to insult me ​​and then the glass flew." she explained to her friend and lay down on the floor to look at the ceiling.

Lily stretched out next to her but turned her head to her friend and said :" The boy is so stubborn and stuck in his mind. I know you and Remus are just friends, we all know that. Sirius must have forgotten that. Which doesn't give him the right to insult you and judge you with a glass. Did it hit you? Are you hurt?"

(Y/N) took a deep breath and turned her head to her friend as well. "No it doesn't. Physical, no. Emotionally, totally."

Lily nodded in relief.

The room fell silent while the two girls stared at the ceiling. Both followed their own thoughts. How could everything have changed so quickly for (Y/N). Everything had been fine until two hours ago. Or at least that's what she thought. It doesn't seem like that for Sirius. She thought the two could trust each other enough to talk to each other. Without yelling. She had tried very hard to remain calm. But how should that work when you are yelled at and insulted. Sirius was never known to stay calm and think before speaking. She knew that. Yes, she knew that before she got together with him. It was also a reason why she liked him so much. He just said what he thought and didn't hold back.

But today. That was too much.

She was aware that it was difficult to gain his trust due to his difficult family situation. But she thought he would trust her. They had known each other for more than six years, one of which they were together. Of course, they would have argued a few times before. But never like that, they yelled at each other over trivialities until both of them had vented all their anger and after that they had made up and everything was fine again.

Not this time. For (Y/N) it feels like it will never be fine again.

He had overreacted, yelled at her, insulted and thrown off. It's never been this extreme.

He had no reason. She acted with Remus as she did with Lily, because they were both her best friends. He did the same with his friends. And he flirted with other girls. But she was never really jealous. Maybe now and then, but only when the flirting got too much, but then he always told her that they mean nothing to him, that everything was just fun and that she was the only one for him. (Y/N) believed him, he had never given her a reason not to.

Just like she never gave him a reason not to believe her. But apparently he doesn't.

After a while, Lily broke the silence again. She looked at her friend again and asked carefully: "Are you tow still together?"

(Y/N) didn't answer right away. She wasn't exactly sure herself.

Nobody had said a word about it. But for

her, was the glass, hit next to her head like a picture-perfect backup.

"I do not know exactly. It feels like the end to me." she whispered into the darkness.

* * *

Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed. The elbows on the legs and the head buried in the hands. Frustrated, he pulled his hair and shuffled in denial.

The remnants of the argument still in the room. The broken glass, the sticky stain on the floor and the bad feeling that was eating into his bones.

He didn't want that to happen. He didn't want to yell at her, he didn't want to offend her and of course he didn't want to throw the glass at her either. Had he not been drinking he would have hit her right in the face.

He wanted to talk to her normally, calmly tell her what he was worried about. The way she did when something about his behavior worried her. But he hadn't made it. Something had blown inside him and he had started yelling at her. He was such a fool.

Sirius wiped his wet eyes as the door opened and his three friends walked in. They looked at him and immediately noticed that something was wrong with their friend.

He looked broken and totally desperate.

"Hey pets, what happened Is everything okay?" James asked and sat down on the bed next to his friends. Remus leaned against the bedpost across from Sirius bed and Peter sat on the floor between the two beds. Waiting, they looked at Sirius who shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably and grimaced.

"The two argued. "That wasn't a question but a statement from Remus.

Sirius nodded and looked at his friends for the first time. His hair stood out and his face was pale and red at the same time.

He snuggled before he explained in a hoarse voice: "I screamed at her and insulted her. I didn't listen to her or let her finish."

James beside him raised a raised eyebrow and looked questioningly at his best friend. But when he didn't tell any more he asked: "And? You've yelled at each other before. This is nothing new. Before that, everything always turned out fine. Give her a little time that will subside."

Sirius just shook his head.

"No. Nothing's going to be fine. I screwed up. She'll never forgive me for that." he tried to swallow the lump in his throat and blink away the tears that came up again. In vain.

"Why did you fight? " asked Peter, scratching his neck, slightly overwhelmed. He had never seen Sirius like that before and didn't know what to do. Otherwise Sirius was always cool and relaxed and hid his negative feelings as best he could.

"I accused her of cheating on me." Sirius admitted stupidly and did not dare to look his friends in the face.

"Bullshit. She would never ..." Remus started but was stopped by him again.

"With Remus."

The room fell silent again. The boys exchanged incredulous looks and hoped they had just heard wrong.

He couldn't really mean that.

"You bloody Idiot. How did you get the fucking idea your girlfriend was cheating on you. With one of your best friends. She never gave you a fucking reason not to trust her. " Remus explained and looked at his friends in disappointment. The young werewolf just couldn't believe that Sirius really believed

(Y/N) was cheating on him with one of his best friends. He and her would never do that. And Sirius should know that too.

"How did you come up with such a stupid idea?"

Sirius got up from the bed vigorously and stood in front of his taller friend.

He huffed and at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"I see how you treat each other. Giggling together, touching each other, the insider jokes, whispering, meet alone. It is obviously coming." he grumbled, looking like a kicked puppy. Remus took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face. So that was the reason he thought that.

"Look Sirius. You're exaggerating a bit. (Y/N) and I are just friends. Good friends. Friends laugh together. She and I have the same subjects so we study togethern. You and James touch each other more often than she and I and still she doesn't think you're cheating on her with him. And we don't have any inside jokes either. Anyone who read the book would have understood that. It's all just in your head. She is her own person. You can't think she's cheating on you just because she gets on well with someone."

Sirius looks at him with wide eyes and open mouth, startled. Remus was right. As so often. (Y/N) would never cheat on him and Remus would never do anything with a friend's girlfriend. Him and her were just friends. In fact, it was a good thing that his girlfriend got on well with his best friends.

She has always been open and close with her friends. He just saw things that weren't there. He was afraid of losing her. That she would reject him and despise him just like his blood relativ family. He was afraid of losing people from his chosen family.

Well, that was exactly what he had now taken care of himself. He hadn't trusted his own girlfriend and had beaten her down. His Girlfriend. He didn't even know if she was still his girlfriend at all. She hadn't said anything but he could well imagine that he had ruined everything with his action.

But he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't lose a member of his family. He had to talk to her, explain everything and at least try to prevent her from leaving him by all means.

Above all, he had to apologize deeply.

"I fuck up. I really fuck up. I ... I really screwed up. I threw a fucking gals at her." he stammered, buried his hands in his hair and fell back on the bed.

His three friends looked at him in shock.

"You did what?" James asked incredulous and discovered the broken glass and the stain next to the door.

Sirius had buried his head in his hands again and mumbled muffled: "You already understand me."

Nobody really knew what to say now.

Nobody expected that. Sirius wasn't aggressive. He would never hurt an innocent one. So it was really breathtaking for everyone.

"Fuck. Did you ... did you ... hit her?" asked Peter, chewing the inside of his cheek. The other two were also eager to hear Sirius' answer to this question.

"NO! NO! No no no. I haven't. Fortunately not. It's smashed against the wall next to her head." Sirius shuffled and continued to slump. For him it was as if more and more weights were being put on him. As if he was only now that he was really realizing what had happened.

"You have to help me. Please. Please help me. You have to help me so that she will forgive me. I can't lose her. I just can't. I love her." Sirius begged and looked pleadingly at his friends one by one. With a look that could break hearts, a little like he's going mad.

Both of them never really said that they loved each other. Everyone knew it somehow without anyone ever saying it. But now that he had said the three words they meant even more.

"That could be difficult." Peter muttered and turned his head away to stop seeing his friends broken like this.

Sirius' response to that was a desperate deep shuffle.

"Yeh. Peter is right. That could be difficult. Not only could it be, it will be difficult. But we will help you. You two belong together." James agreed and put a hand on his desperate friend's shoulder.

"Or? We'll help him?" the boy with glasses asked his other friends and looked at them promptly.

Peter shifted back and forth a little before he nodded and said: " Yes, yes naturally"

Now all eyes turned to Remus. He covered his face with both hands and let out a deep breath. He was friends with both of them. He didn't want to stand between the two fronts and have to choose one side. He remembered the conversation he had with (Y/N) earlier while studying. She had said Sirius would be good for her. And she was definitely good for Sirius. Since the two were together, both were happier, more exuberant. He just wanted his friends to be happie. And if that required him to stand on one side, then he would.

So he dropped his arms in resignation and nodded. "We'll help you. But you have to work really hard. And you have to improve yourself, trust her more, stop flirting with others. She would never tell you but it bothers her more than she admits. If something like this happens again, I'll just let you drown in your grief."

Sirius gave his friends a pained, weak smile, wiped his eyes with a sleeve and uttered a harsh, "thx."

The boys planned until late at night what they would do so that (Y/N) would forgive Sirius or at least talk to him. It was early in the morning before the four of them went to bed.

Silence enveloped the room. Three of the residents were asleep, only Sirius was still awake. With the silence his thoughts came back that (Y/N) would never forgive him and would leave him. And with the thoughts, the tears and the shuffling, came back as well. He closed the curtains and put a silence spell over his bed, as not to disturb his friends and buried his face in his pillow. Sleep was out of the question for him.

* * *

The girls' dormitory had already returned quietly. (Y/N) had cried herself to sleep hours ago after a few cups of tea and supportive words from her best friend.

She was lying next to Lily in her bed, wrapped in her blanket. Lily had refused to leave her alone, she just lay down in bed with her and stroked her arm until they both fell asleep. (Y/N) was grateful for that. She could be happy to have friends like that.

Tonight she had allowed herself to show weakness. Allowed to show how Sirius' behavior had hurt her. But tomorrow, she swore to herself, she would build the walls around herself as high as never before and not let it penetrate how sad and injured she actually was. She would play the strong one. Even if she actually felt infinitely weak. She wouldn't let him see how his behavior affected her.

[jjmaybankstorys]

NO PLAYER PT3- JJ MAYBANK

Here you can find PART1 and PART2 

Summary: at a party, Kie blurts out that you start liking Jj. After Jj and you ignoring e/o, the Pogues decide to leave you alone on the boat to sort things out....

Also guys requests are always open, so just comment them HERE or text me xx

Today is a party at Sarah's. Well, what does party mean. Her parents are at the Bahamas and the six of you want to hang out. 

When you arrive, you sit outside on the veranda. Jj gets you a couple of beers and you have fun.

"I think we need to toughen up a bit" Sarah says as she stands up and grabs some tequila from the shelf. All you can hear is cheering. Tequila is your weakness. You love it but you shouldn't drink too much of it.

"I'm so in today," says Ki and drinks from the bottle.

"Woah easy Ki" says Pobe and takes the bottle from her hand. 

After a few shots and a lot of beer you are all pretty drunk. But not as drunk as Ki. You could say she really got into it.

Kiara stands in front of you all the time and dances wildly. It's funny. And sometimes you join in. 

"Hey you guys... you're... cute" she says dancing and looking at you and Jj. You just sit next to each other. Nothing special.

"Thank you" says Jj and looks at you.

"Guys guys I've never seen her SO drunk." Says JohnB and laughs

"You know what's funny. No.... not funny but I think it's so cute because Y/N is soooo into JJ." Says Ki still dancing

"Ou..." you hear Pobe and JB say from the side. 

You can't believe what she just said. Everyone is quiet. Your heart beats faster and you blush. You see JJ's shocked face from the side. 

"No... what? That... is not true" you say.

"Yes it is... you just don't want to admit it... but you always come up to me and you're like "omg Ki Jj looks so hot" or "I miss Jj". I swear she would want to have sex with you" Ki says drunkenly as she realises that was too much.

"Oh really?... man I didn't know that..." says jj laughing and looking at you.

"Ugh fuck that" you say, getting up and walking away. 

Jj follows you.

"Wait wait wait... where are you going Y/N?" asks Jj and you stop.

"Home." You reply. 

"So..." says Jj but you interrupt him.

"This is not something I want to talk about right now, I'm pissed as hell at Kiara and I want to go home Jj!" You say annoyed and keep walking 

"Okay. Good. But I'm definitely not letting you go alone. I'll go with you" says Jj and takes you home.

————-

Today is a party on the beach. 

Ki apologized multiple times now but you didn't answer.

You have not continued to talk to Jj about what Ki said. 

You just got into a conversation with a boy. 

"Hey, can I get you anything?" says a boy, daniel, with whom you have often talked, leaning against a tree. 

"No, but thanks" you say 

"So why is a pretty girl like you here all alone?" he asks and smiles 

"Oh, I was just gonna get a drink"

"I'll fix you something" he says and winks at you 

"Oh thank you" you answer smiling  

Jj looks at you. You see how jealousy goes up in him when he sees you with the guy. 

"Jj are you okay?" says JohnB

"I'm fine" Jj says without taking his eyes off you. 

"What are you looking at? Did something happen between you two?" asks Pope 

"no, why should it" says Jj and looks over to the others 

"you've been staring at them all evening" says Ki

"It just makes me sick," says Jj 

"I can't understand why she even talks to him," he explains. 

"I mean, nobody can. She hated him back then" admits JohnB. 

"She still does," says Jj angrily 

"Doesn't look like it," Pope notes 

Jj looks over to you. You hug the guy and you laugh together. 

"Hey guys" you say smiling 

"So you and that guy there," Jj says without even looking at you. 

"He has a name Jj. It's daniel" you say annoyed 

"Oh sorry miss. So you two? You and DANIEL?" Jj replies

"Yeah, we like to hang out together. We're not together or anything," you say 

"fucking bullshit" says Jj and looks at you

"What do you have now. That's none of your business"

"You obviously like him." Jj says angrily 

"It's so wrong" says Jj and kicks his foot in the sand

"why wrong?" you say 

"Oh my God, we're certainly not going to talk about that now" says Jj annoyed 

"what the hell is wrong with you" you say out loud

"Nothing.. just maybe I thought that I'd mean something to you. But turns out, I don't" says Jj 

"I'm gonna go guys, I'll see you later but I really don't need to do that to myself" you say and go back to the guy who was obviously waiting for you

——-

So the others notice that you both like each other. But neither of you has managed to start a conversation. No one wants to make the first move. Even though Jj wanted to fight for you, and did, he doesn't see the point of chasing after you after all this. And you don't know what to do. You don't know how to explain to him that you kind of like him too. 

"Guys, we have to do something," Johnb says to Pobe, Sarah and Ki.

"What are you talking about, you idiot?" asks Sarah with a laugh.

"I mean about Jj and Y/N.... it's so obvious that they like each other and we know that. But they both don't have the balls to do anything," JohnB says.

"Yeah right... what do you have in mind?" asks Pobe curiously.

"Maybe we go for a ride on HMS Pogue and say we have a problem on the boat. Jj's dad's boat. It's still in the water here at the chateau" says Ki

"Yeah... yeah and then have them help us and then we jump off the boat and drive away. We'll leave them there to talk," says Sarah.

"You girls are really great at making plans" says JohnB laughing.

"Good idea though," adds Pobe.

And so they did. They planned everything and told you they needed help. They pick you up and drive you to the boat.

You get on it.

"What's the problem?" says Jj

"Well, somehow the Phantom won't start" says Sarah.

„The Phantom? Nah this baby works all the time. It's like this girl is brand new guys" says Jj as he starts looking at the engine. You join in. Meanwhile Sarah and Johnb jump off the boat and drive away with the others on the HMS pogue.

"Guys she works. Everything normal here" says Jj as you two notice them driving away 

"HEY WHAT THE HELL" you scream and run forward.

"YOU NEED TO TALK. AND NOW YOU HAVE TIME TO" JohnB shouts back.

You want to jump into the water but Jj stops you.

"Y/N it's no use... they're already gone" he says.

"ugh" you say and sit down. You sit there with just your bikini top and shorts. And Jj sits a little further away, topless and in his shorts.

At first you don't talk. Jj is kind of pissed and you are pissed because he is pissed. 

After a while it gets dark and you get some lights from the boat and put them on the deck. 

Jj rolls a joint and smokes it.

"Ugh Jj, you can go away with that. I don't want the smell" you say annoyed.

"Sorry... I'll put it away" he says and throws the joint into the water.

"You don't have to throw it away" you reply.

"Yes... it bothered you" he says.

Kind of sweet. Jj always cared about how you were and made sure you were okay. Even now.

By now it's dark and you're laying on cover under the open sky on the boat. You look at the stars.

"Hey Y/N" says Jj

"Yes" you say

"What was that yesterday?" he says as he turns to face you. 

"You mean you got mad at me for talking to a kook?" you reply, still not looking at him.

"yes Y/N I am or was pissed as shit. Kooks are all the same. And fuck he just wants to fuck you. That's just how they are" he says

"Oh wow Y/N don't be prejudiced. Why are you reacting like this?" you ask and turn to face Jj.

"What the fuck Y/N? I thought you liked me? I thought it was worth fighting for you and that I had managed to get you when Ki blurted out the stuff," Jj says, slightly angry.

"I... I know."

"I'm sorry but I just wanted to distract myself a bit after that" you say.

"Distract? From what, me?" asks Jj slightly hurt.

"Yeah... yeah, kinda" you say.

"What was that Ki said yesterday? Do you really like me? Or do you still think I'm a player?" asks Jj.

"no... I mean yeah... so Ki was right Jay. I do like you. You fought so hard for me and you took it all so seriously I never expected that. You made me change my mind. I believe you. And I like you. I believe you Jj" you say 

You see the relief in Jj's eyes. He looks so happy.

"So you want to go through this with me? Do we want to get serious?" asks Jj

"Yes... yes I will go through with it with you" you say smiling.

"That is... no wait" says Jj and stands up. He kneels down in front of you.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asks with a smile.

"Of course Jj. Yes" you say laughing and he hugs you.

“I wanted to ask you that for so long” he smiles

"Y/N I promise to always be by your side" says Jj.

"Thank you Jay" you say

He comes closer and gives you a loving kiss

"It feels so good to know that you are mine now" Jj says with a smile and looks you in the eyes.

————————————————

I really hope you liked it. Feel free to leave any comments or REQUESTS HERE if you have any.

You can find my MASTERLIST HERE.

[atiny-exol]

Vampire Ateez a Skz member is forcefully drinking from you

Warning: drug abuse, swearing, fighting, blood, drinking without your consent, nearly rape, kidnapping

A/N- Soooo I hope you enjoy it!!!

Requested: Yes

_________________________________________

Hongjoong

Hongjoong tried to get a long with the fact that skz is getting bigger and bigger

That they are getting more and more powerful

That he maybe has to make allies with them

But all his calmness is gone as soon as he sees the leader of skz all over you

His eyes shining in a dark red color and his fangs slightly digging on your skin

He is mad, no even more than that

Doesn't hold back anymore till the other leader finally learns his place

His place under him

After that he takes you home and tries to calm you down

Whispers in your ear

Pets your head

Makes you tea

All of that

A lot of snuggling

Will never ever let something like that happen again

,,And if you do this again." His look is cold, colder than ice and sharper than a knive as he looked at the skz leader with so much hatred. ,,I will not hesitate to kill you little boy. Never dare to lay a finger on something that stands under my protection."

Seonghwa

He doesn't even know how this happened

He went to a party with you

Lost you for 5 seconds

And the next time he finds you, you are laying unconscious under Minho

Skz often goes along very well, Seonghwa doesn't mind them but as soon as he sees the member of the rivals hovering over your body. Ready to suck your blood

He sees red

If Minho is alive after that a wonder happened

Because he should not be

Someone touch something that is very special to him

In fact the most special thing

And no one is going to hurt it

He leaves Minho laying on the floor and then places his jacket over you

Picking you up and carrying you home were he can nurse you back to a good state

Apologies a lot of times because he couldn't protect you

A single tear ran down his cheek and right after that a shaky sob was heard from your mate. It breaks your heart to see him like that, but there is nothing you could do to make him feel better. It doesn't matter what you are saying, he feels shitty for not protecting you like he promised you. His mate got bitten by someone else and it hurts him just as much as it hurts you.

Yunho

He is the softest person and trusts his family with his whole heart.

But one new member was very suspicious to him the whole time

Not that he would go against Hongjoong orders no

But the guy always was a little shitty in his eyes

He had the feeling to know him and to know that he has ill intentions

And he was right

One day you visited him and he had to do some things before you could leave

The guy, Hyunjin, started to flirt with you, telling you that he is the only chance for you to get out of this situation alive because skz is going to take ateez down

Of course Yunho heard that

He is angry. So is the rest of Ateez because they saw how Hyunjin tried to convince you to go with him

And after you said no he tried to drink from you even if you yelled at him to stop

No one of the holds back, but Yunho doesn't care about him

He just cares about you

Tries to calm you down

Draws small circles on your lower back while whispering calming words in your ear

,,Psssht princess/prince don't cry don't cry." his voice was barely a whisper. It hurts him to hear your heartbreaking sobs and the words you say. You are blaming yourself for that and it breaks him. Nothinh is your fault. None of this is your fault. He has to make you see that.

San

Leaves you alone for 5 minutes and guys are already flirting with you

But then he sees how you are rejecting the jerk

Beforw the guy leaves he tells you that you will regret that

And he was right

Just in this night some rivals attacked you both surprisingly

San saw how the jerk feed from you and the smudge smirk on his face as he let your body fall down on the floor

He tried his best to protect you, his mate, he was so angry that he thought he can do it, but there were to much

The next time he wakes up you are gone

And he is laying in a dark basement

Before he realizes who his enemies are

He saw them before.

And now where he know that it is skz

He even more concerned about you

,,Fuck give me my mate back you bastard!" San was filled with rage as the rival stepped in the room. His brown hair hanging in his face and a big smirk shooting at him. ,,Aww you want your sweet little mate back? To bad this is not going to happen. We will use you to get the others to and then your territory is ours."

Mingi

He doesn't hate skz, he never thought they are nice or something like that but he never hated them

What mingi doesn't know is that Jeongin the youngest of straykids would cause a lot of trouble

Jeongin is sweet, kind, charming and he knows it

What he also knows is that he wants you

And he usually gets what he wants

That's why it confuses him if you say no to him

But he couldn't bother less

He wants your blood

That's why he spikes your drink and get you out of the overfilled room

Even in your drugged state you tried to fight against him but he was way to strong for you

His sucks your blood and you feel damaged

Only Mingi is allowed to do that

And the taller one never drink so much that you get unconscious

If it want for mingi Jeongin drank too much and would have ended dead

But mingi isn't satisfied with on punch

No he is going to beat the small vampire

He will never come near you again

,,M.. Mingi.. N.. No" your weak voice suddenly gets the attention of the angry vampire. His head turned to your weak body and he immediately backed off, picking you up and checking if you are okay. ,,I.. If you kill him t.. That might end in a war between ateez and skz.." You said weakly and your boyfriend nods in understanding. ,,You are probably right baby. Come on let's go home."

Yeosang

He is not known for mercy

Neither is Felix

Felix saw you, he smelled your blood and he wants you

He wants to see you cry under him while he rips you away from your mate

He usually isn't that cruel but for you he has a special addiction

Yeosang knows that

Thats why he is always very careful around him

But you know that it would have happen sooner or later

Yeosang didn't watch for a few seconds and Felix already got you

It was horrible for you, it wasn't just the drinking no

He was touching you too without any consent

You cried out for help and just in the moment you thought that no one would help you

Yeosang appeared to save you

Felix immediately disappeared

But yeosang couldn't care less

He checks on you and brings you back home

He is apologizing and he feels horrible for not being able to protect you

Even if you say it's fine he knows that it isn't

But he can't turn back time

,,N.. No y/n h.. He He.. " Yeosang mumbled out and looked on the ground, his eyes fixed on one spot. His hand balled into a fist. ,,I will never forgive myself for not being able to stop him sooner." Yeosang wasn't the person who cried easily, so his tears staining his cheek breaks your heart.

Wooyoung

He trusted Changbin

He was friends with him and they liked eachother

So he trusted him to take care of you while he is gone for a while

But this was a mistake

Once he came home

He saw that the other vampires drinks from you while he muffled your screaming

His hands are all over your body

And Wooyoung sees red

He feels betrayed, hurt and most of all angry

Changbin doesn't get out of this alive

And you are shaking and crying in his arms

He will never forgive himself something like that

He will never trust anyone like this again

Doesn't want to face you

He distances himself from you

This one accident changed your relationship

,,N.. No leave me alone Y/N! " his heart ached just like yours. He doesn't mean it. You both know that, but the words still hurt. He is your mate, your boyfriend and the love of your life and now he is pushing you away. It hurts. It hurts so much

Jongho

Seungmin is small next to him

Physically he doesn't have a chance against Jongho

But he is smart, very smart

It wasn't easy but Seungmin got you

He wanted you, from the first time he saw you he wanted you and your blood

It was an obsession

A cruel obsession

He knows that jongho and you are mates

That you will never feel the same for him like you feel for Jongho

But if he can't have you, no body can

He drinks without your consent, against your will and tried to do everything to make you forget your stupid ,, mate"

Just in the time jongho gets you back

Seungmin is gone

And as you opened your eyes again, you didn't know where the person on front of you were

To say that jongho was shocked is an understatement

He was more than that

So much more than that

,,Y.. You.. You don't know who I am? Sweetheart don't play with me like that. It.. It isn't funny" His voice breaks a few times and he desperately hoped that this is just a sick joke of yours, but his hope got crashed down as you shook your head. ,,I.. I don't know who you are.. I-please leave me alone.."

[itsmypeach13]

[Please welcome my first ever fanfic series chapter 1🤭The story contains of f/f relationships, centres around Asassins Creed Valhalla women female Eivor, Soma Jarlskona(the Bear Heart is my own nickname I gave her will be often used 😁), Randvi, Valka and other fictional characters. It is for +18 readership as it may contain explicit language, drinking, sexual intercourses, fighting in battles. Please bare these in mind before reading.]

TALES OF THE BEAR-HEART:SOMA

CHAPTER I.

A Letter from the Wolf-Kissed

Soma's POV:

I opened my eyes swiftly , my head was heavy with the thoughts swirling inside after a sleepless night. A warming beam of light brightened my room as the sun was rising slowly outside. I turned to my side and looked at the empty side of the bed. I ran my fingers slowly on the cold pillow and let out a sigh. It doesn't matter how many girls of Gratenbridgeshire offered themselves to me , this place belongs to Eivor. Well, only in my dreams..she haunts me like a she-wolf hunrgry to taste meat and blood. And I would always face this wolf, giving in and letting my walls down for her, but this world was apart from reality.

I had a jarldom to rule and protect my people, today was no different either. Just when I finished dressing up I heard knocking on the door like a bear would rant at me from outside.

'Splendid morning Soma, I know you had fun with that blonde amazon last night, I came to make sure we arrive on time , so get your ass out here.'- Revna greeted me with her raspy voice. She was my right hand in ruling the town , my finest warrior and my best friend in one tall, brunette woman. She was even taller then Eivor and always carried two hammers on her sides. Her weapons put many fine men in the grave , Revna was a beast on the battlefield, but a big hearted puppy to her loved ones. She and I grew closer after Birna left us, I needed somebody to trust.

'You think yourself a seeress of all.I haven't slept a bit, even without any ladies invited in my bed-I stepped out of the door grinning, and placed my hand on her shoulder.' Don't worry my friend, Cheolbert must be still sleeping like a baby.

We both headed to the longhouse as Cheolbert arrived late at night and asked an assemby in the morning. I didn't know what was it about, so I felt curious to know. I peaked towards the main entrance seeing jarls arriving on horseback from the neighbouring jarldoms. It must be either a wedding or war ahead of us, I thought to myself.

'What is on your mind Soma? You seem a bit worn-out this morning.-Revna questioned me by gently pushing my right arm. I didn't want to tell her the truth , that Eivor was the cause of my insomnia.

'Everything is fine Revna , it was full moon yesterday and you know well I can't sleep when it comes'-I assured my shield maiden. 'We have a long day ahead of us, I count on you if we have to fight side by side again.'

Revna silently nodded and hurried to the front of the assembly. The longhouse was filled with people, curious eyes were glued to Cheolbert who stepped in , wearing a glorious red and white cloak and black learher tunic. Our eyes met and he signalled me he wanted to speak in private at the side first.

We both went to the map room, his blue eyes were narrow and mysterious. I gave him a welcoming hug.

'Cheolbert my dear friend, I swear you've grown a feet since we last met.'-I teased.

' Soma, good to meet again, I wish the circumstances were different.'

'What happened? '-I grew impatient and started walking up and down.

'Eivor told me to hand over this letter to you first'.-he held out a letter with a raven seal. I turned my back so that he can't see my face, and I felt the world around me spin. Is she in trouble? Is she alright?

Dear Soma,

I write you in haste now, as your rotten friend Brina , whom you kept so close to your heart as a pet has betrayed all of us. She is a serpent who slyly earned your trust. She got married to Ivarr the Boneless and they sworn revenge on both Ravensthorpe and Gratenbridgeshire. Ivarr wants to be king of this continent...son is like farher. Their fleet is now close to us, we must unite our men and act swiftly. Please come as fast as you can to Ravensthorpe. I already informed your neighbours, I sent Cheolbert to gather all the men at Gratenbridgeshire.

When we win there will be a cause of celebration I sware to you dear. With all my thanks.

Eivor the Wolf-Kissed

My heart grew heavy with disappointment and sadness over hearing what Birna brought for our people. After all I had two friends betray me, I will cut the throat of this traitor too I swore to myself.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks as the word 'dear' was ringing like a bell in my head. The wolf could play mind games with me even if she wasn't here.

The assemby was quick, I told my people to gather every man to fight for the woman who made this place a safe home for us. I climbed up to my black mare after putting on my silver and blue gear and dictated a rushed tempo for our horses on the way to Ravensthorpe, so our army arrived the same afternoon. I held my back tightly and confident in my straddle to show people a firm leader. As we rode closer to the gates a flood of excitement gripped my stomach. It was funny because I feared not the bloodshed of war or heavy strikes of axes, but seeing the deep blue eyes of Eivor again. Too afraid what I would see in the reflection of her endless iris. Just when I was confident enough to let the idea of the two of us together go , I knew it well the depth of her eyes will eat me alive again. Somehow Freya threads our paths in the same direction? Why does she condemned me to suffering?

***

As I got off my mare at the entrance of the longhouse Valka humbly walked up to me and greeted with a tusk of her best mead. It was a secret recipe I was obsessed with so Eivor sometimes sent a few barrells to me. Valka made the sweet liquid with a hint of star anise and petals of orange jasmine.

'Now that you are finally here the universe is balanced'- she winked handing over the mead. I had no idea what she mean by that, but I gratefully accepted and took a long shot.

'Thanks Valka, I am happy to see my favourite seeress. -I winked at her and slightly raised my tusk.' May this give me strength and fortune on the battlefield.

'Freya will have her hand on your shoulder , she has plans with you.'

This conversation made me suspicious Valka had a vision of the future and it seems I am the part of it. Anyhow, I was sure of one thing, my duty is to be here and help.

'I can't wait to fulfill my destiny, my friend. Whatever the future holds I am ready to take it in.'

In that moment Eivor rushed out of the longhouse seeming quite annoyed with something her rough hands forming into fists. She looked astonishing, deadly in her black and gold armor, the axe of her father as a token swagged on her side. Even if it was a brief moment, I saw her eyes widened at the sight of me, her look pierced into my soul when she smirked at me. She was saying without words that she was grateful that I came and trusted me, this filled my heart with warmth and my chest swelled.

'Dear Soma' -she spoke with her deep, raspy voice that was stealing my sanity every time I heard her close.'I knew you would come and aid us in the moment of need.'-she took my right hand for a moment then let it fall back.

'You know I'll always be there like a true friend. It's my pleasure.-Eivor's smile ended at the word friend, but people around us were staring and we weren't more than that behind their backs either.

To cut off our slightly awkward meeting, Randvi stormed out of the wooden bulding her cheeks burning, and arms folded. She looked like a child who didn't get the piece of cake. I wondered what happened between those two in there. In the second she caught a glipse of me and Eivor standing quite close , Randvi joined between us and politely thanked me to bring a huge force here. She was a perfect diplomat and an impeccable service around me after that.She arranged a dinner for only the leaders and jarls to lay out the plan for tomorrow's battle. We decided to surprise Birna and Ivarr and hide our best archers in the woods until they ride towards the gates. I must admit I can see now why Eivor loves Randvi. The copper-haired woman was not only beautiful with soft features, but intelligent in a way that humiliated the man leaders here.

It felt extremely hard to look at Randvi and listen to the details as I felt my helpless jealousy hit me like a wave. It angered me how Eivor drunk every word she uttered her eyes sometimes wandered lover than Randvi's lips.

After dinner I wanted to retreat to my tent as soon as possible , the sight of Eivor and Randvi in the same room sickened me. Before I could do that Randvi came to me with a letter.

'Soma, wait. Let me give this letter to you.' she instructed quickly.

'Who is it from?'-I enquired furrowing my brows with second guessing.

'It's uh..from me actually...-she hesitated then blurted out' there are certain things you better read than hear me say it out loud.'

This fucking woman had guts to speak to me like that..I knew it was intently personal. She must have heard rumors of Eivor's visits to me sometimes, but hardly knew the wolf was only hers not mine for a single bit.

'How thoughtful of you. The rumors are true , you really have balls in spite of being a shieldmaid. I will read your bedtime story later, now if you excuse me.' Randvi 0-Soma 1. Every inch of me wanted to tear off she seal and read it right away but I waited until I was left alone in the provacy of my tent.

Jarl Soma,

Please let me be honest and plain with you. Eivor's invite here was merely political. I know more than anyone how she behaves around women to get what she wants. I have firsthand experience in that. But you have to know Eivor doesn't look at you like a woman, she told me she sees a long lost older sister in you. If I were you, I would think twice what I let people gossip about and make a fool of myself.

Randvi

In the second I finished reading I crumpled the piece of paper and thowed behind my back. Her words were agressive and protective just like a female wolf and I could feel Randvi's bite marks on my neck.

I decided not to believe anything until I asked Eivor.. oh but how could I do that? The wolf would realise I cared about her in a different way, and I couldn't let that happen until she gives me something. A flickering sign in the hollowing darkness I am living in.

I decided to visit Valka and have drinks together, I desperately needed somebody to keep my mind of this mess I became part of.

***

The little hut stood with watchful eyes on the slight hill close to the village. There were died flowers hanged outside and a sweet smoky and flowery scent filled my nostrils. As I get close I recognized Valka now wearing a red gown with hood on her head. She looked like Freya preparing a love potion as she was pouring something in a tusk and put some petals on the top.

'Good Evening Valka.. I hope you don't mind my late night visit. I just needed some of your special mead I guess and my feet brought me here' I stared to her fiery reddish brow eyes. She had neat tattos on her face forming dots and gentle marks on her smooth skin.

'I knew you would come tonight, so I prepared this mead with some herbs that will rock you in a pleasant slumber.'she handed over the tusk , the liquid looked like shiny rubies.

'How is that you always know better what I need than myself?-I smirked at her and found comforting in her eyes.

'A gift from the gods my lady-her eyes had a mysterious spark in them, a little dimple formed on her face from smiling.

'Come sit with me inside, it is getting cold out here.'

I nodded and followed the seeress into the firm hut, theought the entrance ornamented with animal bones and more dried flowers.

There was a freshly lit fire inside warming up my limbs and cheeks. It also colored the space with wrath orange that played on our faces like the sunset.

'Now tell me, what makes your heart heavy?'-she asked with care.

'I think I feel a bond to Eivor that is irrational and grows between us every time we meet. It is like an invisible string pulls me towards her maybe it's the wish of the Gods.-I sipped bitterly in the mead , a slight soothing feeling ran through my body.

'We both know our fate is inevitable, so you have to show what's inside your heart first.' -Valka looked deeply in my eyes. -You are Soma, our fearless Bear warrior sent by Freya to our aid and to fight on Eivor's side.

'Randvi told me Eivor loves me with a sisterly care.. I image she is right., look at her, she could have anybody.

'Don't listen to Randvi , she is hurt and trapped in her own feeling of helplessness. If she can't have Eivor accepted by the public, then nobody can'-Valka nodded and squuezed my hand.

'I just can't trust people anymore Valka. My love towards people turned into a bitter storm inside me.-Except for Revna, I couldn't trust a soul, not even Eivor. She didn't reveal her hidden side to me.

'Just talk to her in the morning, it will ease your turmoil Soma.-she winked and headed to bed. To my utter surprise she started to undress in front of my sleepy eyes, they popped in surprise no matter the mead.

Valka's toned back was shining under the wrath orange fireligt, she revealed her impeccably and naked body.

'Good night Valka, I have to get some sleep now. Thank...you...for uh.. everything!' I mumbled to her and hurried to my hut until I was able to stand still. Before sleep my head was filled with Eivor's piercing eyes and... I was a bit surprised but Valka's slender back flashed through as well. Damn, this woman was also fine. Like all women!

My eyelids felt to heavy , soon enough I was fast asleep like a newborn baby.

[past-present-future-collective]

INTROS!

Alright, so we're just gonna do this in alphabetical order because thats how our pluralkit list is set up and we don't want to forget any of our less verbal headmates. Will RB with new intros when we get new headmates!

Aimsey: Hey! I'm a factive, not super connected to source but I'm really cool I swear! I'm the only one who misses having long hair after Toby and Chorus cut it 😨

Billzo: Waddup I'm also a factive, and Aimsey is my bestie,,! I aim to piss off the most amount of people and be as inclusionist as possible because acceptance is swag and based, so yeah. PEOPLE ARE SWAG!! Also Ranboo is swag??? Bro literally I'm the only one who remembers he's here because he's barely verbal and never fronts.

Chorus: Hello, I'm a host and caretaker here! I actually created this blog so we could all share our experiences and find community. I'm in the process of working with Toby through his trauma and I take care of our syskid, Michael.

Gene: hey, im gene. im a fictive whos like half-connected to source, same with sasha and zenix. theyre who im closest to tbh. were all from the same source so it makes sense ig. sorry for lack of punctuation i really dont gaf.

Lucis: I'm like that one tiktok sound "I have absolutely no fucking clue what's going on in my life, I'm just in charge of the outfits." I also have a very cool accent sometimes. Love <3

Michael, supervised by Chorus: Hi 👈👈 I'm Michael,,, I'm a syskid ageslider, usually between 6-13. Um. I'm not very verbal so Chorus talks or types for me a lot. or helps me. Ily!

Mick: We listened to the Creeper Rap by Dan Bull too many times and I manifested. I respond to music, and tend to front if certain types of songs are playing. I'm fairly chill, probably the most likely to start doing drugs or committing crimes if the hosts would let me.

Nick: I'm a protector, former host, and current co-host alongside the hosts Toby and Chorus. I think I'm chill. Probably a bit rash sometimes and deffo judgemental but working on it. Have a hate/hate relationship with our algebra teacher because he is a dick and seems intent on having the most sensory issues unfriendly classroom and demeanor as possible. But whatever. Fuck him. Im not an introject, clarifying because my name is the same as like 12 fictional characters and people.

Omni: Omni is nonverbal except occasionally in headspace, so I (Chorus) will tell a bit about them. Omni is our creative person, basically. They write and draw and get lost in maladaptive daydreams that can impact our day to day, but they also dont front alone very often so that helps.

Paint: Full disclosure; I exist solely because theres a system here called the paint water system and I formed as a personified factive of that despite knowing hardly shit about them. I'm just here to vibe, have no filter, and fuck shit up wherever I can.

Pie: Pie is nonverbal so I'll do the same thing I did for Omni; Pie is a very touchy time bomb, essentially. Pie is the reason we experience tics and they worsen the closer pie is to the front. Pie's been quiet lately so we haven't had as bas or as often tics.

Ranboo: Hey. I don't do a whole lot. occasionally I'll observe when Bill is fronting but generally I stay deep in headspace. Not much sure what this is all for but was told to introduce myself so I read up a bit. Gonna go back in headspace now, I hate fronting.

Sam: Ello, obligitory not and introject. Just your average obligitory british alter who really wants to drink tea for the aesthetic but hates the taste. Which reminds me- Mick is the reason we got addicted to Monster, little twat. Anyway, hello, I am utter chaos.

SamPonk: OHMYGOD I GET TO FRONT- Fuck okay shit sorry I'm usually not allowed to because I'm embarassing but- aaaa! I'm a fusion fictive/fucktive of Awesamdude and Ponk, but not at all connected to source. I'm like????? AaaAaaaAAAA- Sorry I'm so excited to be allowed to SPEAAAK for once!!!!!!!

Sasha: heyyyy. im a fictive, same source as gene and zenix. i also miss the long hair, so i feel aimsey on that one. lowley highkey just want my source hair but the majority of us are male or ftm (unfortunately for us femmes) so i was greatly outvoted.

Toby: I'm the host with Chorus. I'm struggling to do a lot of mental rewiring and healing from my OSDD-2 and childhood trauma in general. Lots of relearning ahead of me, but Chorus has got my back the whole way and I love her for it. I'm not an introject of Tubbo, I get asked a lot so I feel the need to state that. My name is just Toby by coincidence.

Tommy: Factive of Tommyinnit, not at all connected to my source. Hes really annoying tbh. Dont know why Toby likes him, although I guess thats good(?) for me since we're together. I dont talk about it much because me and Toby get really worried about cancelling and backlash and crap because my source is an MCYTer and MCYT "ships" are a hot topic. Again, I'm nothing like source. So I hope it doesnt fucking matter. Love you Toby ♡♡

Zenix: yada yada sasha and gene. bye.

Zxandre: I'm fairly new, not quite sure what I'm supposed to be doing in this place(headspace) but it looks cool. The hosts seem to have their own drama and everyone has, like, a group I guess. Hope I find where I fit in!

[sparklingchan]

Stray Kids AU

Stray Kids soulmate AU

Prompt : The name of your soulmate appears on your body only after that person falls in love with you.

A/N: this was sooooo fun to write but it turned out rather long but please the whole thing,I swear it'll be worth every minute🥺

Warnings : None.

1. Bang Chan

You met him for the first time when you went to the movies one evening,alone ,trying to take your mind off the upcoming exams.

He was seated to your left,his mind completely focused on the movie . He wore a black tshirt with a black jacket and a pair of baggy pants but you couldn't help but notice how attractive he looked even in the dark.

You also subtly noticed the bandaids around his fingers and the reddened knuckles and the tired and exhausted look on his face ,which you were very familiar with because it is the same expression you see when you look into the mirror.

"Are you like a boxer or something?" You weren't the kind to go around talking to random strangers at movies but this time your curiosity got the better of you.

He looked at you ,confused ,but answered anyway. "No. I'm a musician "

"Then what's with the bruised hands?"

He looks down at his hands and laughs,shaking his head. "Let's just say I overwork myself a little too much sometimes". Fair enough.

"I'm y/n by the way " you offer your hand and he takes it,smiling from ear to ear. "I'm Chan"

You notice his lack of snacks and a cold drink and you couldn't help but offer your extra large bucket of popcorn ,which previously you were sure you could finish on your own but now, not so anymore.

He thanks you,dipping his hands in and grabbing a fistful of popcorn,a small but very noticeable blush tinting his cheeks.

That night,he offers to walk you home and you couldn't say no. You stood at your doorstep,smiling to yourself as he turns around and walks back home.

The moment he is out of your sight,you feel a sudden pain in your left forearm.

Rolling your sleeves up till your elbow,you are stunned to see "Bang Chan" cleanly written there.

2. Lee Minho

You hated Lee Minho from the bottom of your heart. He went to the same dance studio as you and ever since you guys had a minor argument about something regarding a particular step,he's felt like nothing but a nuisance.

He knew that you disliked him so he made sure to bother you even more. Sometimes he'd make fun of your frizzy hair and sometimes he'd simply grab your phone out of nowhere and run. He even ate your food without any permission.

But one day ,your dance teacher paired you two up together for a couple contemporary dance competition.

You were so close to strangling Minho everytime he looked at you with that smirk on his face as you guys practiced day and night. But you also couldn't help but acknowledge how perfect his every movement was.

It was the day before your competition when Minho fell in the bathroom and fractured his leg,forcing your duo to back out from the competition.

You honestly weren't a bit angry or sad about it since it was a small internal competition but you knew he was upset with himself so you went to visit him at his dorm.

"I'm sorry, y/n " he had said. That's the saddest you've ever seen him look and to be very honest, you hated it.

"Shut up ,idiot. It's not a big deal " you gave him the donuts you bought earlier as he looks up at you ,smiling brightly.

When you were about to leave, he asked you if you could drop by often. His eyes looked at everywhere but you.

"Why?" You giggled. He looked down shyly. "I realized you're not that bad to hang out with "

You laughed, pressing a small kiss on his cheek. "I'll come by often"

When you reached home,you felt a strong sting at your forearm.

And on observing closely at the burning area,you see "Lee Minho" written in big,bold letters.

3. Seo Changbin

You hated your job ,you really did but everything changed when your new colleague, Changbin, arrived. He was the funniest,nicest and most talented mam you'd ever met.

A few weeks into the friendship,he had already made you listen to the songs he composed. His smile when you complimented him was something to die for.

And Whenever you felt down ,he would make some silly jokes and he'd instantly brighten up your mood.

And you didn't want to deny it,you had developed a crush on him.

It was a rainy afternoon in your office when you saw Changbin walk inside your executive director's cabin. You knew that it could never mean something good.

When he came out of the office,almost half an hour later,his eyes looking down at the floor and his ears red ,you knew he had gotten a nice scolding from your shitty boss.

You knew because a few months ago you'd been in the the same position too.

But instead of coming back to his seat,you saw him walk out of the office. Mindlessly,you followed him into the terrace .

"He's a stupid asshole,don't fret yourself about it" you wrapped your arm around his. He sighed, ruffling his hair with the other hand.

"I'm going to punch that man one day " he gritted his teeth. You were so used to him being a smily ,funny man ,you were scared when you saw him this angry.

"He's not worth your attention,I'm telling you " . He only replied by shrugging.

You two decided to have dinner together that night.

"I hope there's a next time to this" he had said,shyly, His smile doing wonders to your heart. As his car disappeared around the corner,you felt your heart swell with a warm feeling.

The next morning,you woke up with a stinging pain in your forearm and when you checked it out,your heart skipped a beat on seeing 'Seo Changbin ' written there.

4. Hwang Hyunjin

You'd never seen a man as beautiful and amazing as Hyunjin. Although he probably never noticed you,you noticed him. All the girls in your college did and you were no exception to that.

You were more than excited when your teacher told you that you two were supposed to do a project together.

Initially, you were expecting him to be a brat ,given his popularity among women ( and men OFC) but he turned out to be a warm person,making you feel guilty for thinking that way about him in the first place.

He helped you all he could ,and you also realised at that time that he was not just a handsome face ,he was pretty smart too.

After working hours on the project at your house,you two would sometimes just spend time talking to each other. It wasn't even forced; you guys just clicked naturally.

On the day the project finished, you decided to bake cookies for him and even packed some for him to take home. "This is a thank you gift"

His whole face lit up as he took the jar of cookies from you. "I should be the one thanking you "

Before he left,he gives you tight hug and then a kiss on your forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow "

While you prepared dinner that evening,you felt a weird sting on your forearm,as if a bug bit you. Putting down the spoon,you checked out your forearm for any signs of a bug bite.

Your cheeks turned red when you saw that it wasn't a bug bite. "Hwang Hyunjin " was printed onto your skin in a clean and neat handwriting.

5. Han Jisung

You were the new producer intern at JYP entertainment and although unfamiliar to most people,you felt quite comfortable at home. You first met Han Jisung when he popped his head through your studio door,mistaking your studio for some else's.

His cheeks turned red with embarrassment, as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I thought this room was Mike's."

You smiled shyly. "Its alright. Don't apologize please." He then slowly stepped into the studio,his hands behind his back.

"Are you new here ? Haven't seen you before " You nodded in response . He thrusted his hand towards you,his lips curving up into a smile.

"I'm Jisung. I am a trainee here" he said. "Nice to meet you ,Jisung. I'm y/n,a new intern producer"

You then proceeded to tell him that you have in fact heard about him and his team ,3racha,from other producers. He giggled,clearly embarrassed. "Yeah. I do compose a little, here and there "

Needless to say,over time you guys had developed an unbreakable bond not only through music but also the similar way that you two click with each other. It's as if you both had found a safe haven in each other.

A few months later,he told you that he wanted to show you a song he was working on. And excited, you quickly agreed to it.

For someone who was only a few months older than you,his music style was way more mature than yours. The way every beat,every chord ,every lyric sticks out beautifully, you couldn't help but clap as the song ended.

"That was amazing,Jisung. You're gonna put all us producers out of work!" You had teased.

He gave you his signature smile and shook his head . "You guys are going to be big one day, I can feel it " you told him.

He stopped for a second and stared at you ,his fingers fumbling with his laptop. "But you'll still be here right? Even if we do get big one day,you'll still be there with me right?"

You smiled ,as he took your hand in his. "Yes. I'll be there "

As soon as Jisung left the studio after a few minutes,you suddenly felt as if your arm was on fire. Alarmed ,you decided to check the area .

"Han Jisung" was written on your forearm.

6. Felix Lee

You loved swimming more than anything in the world and you were so good at it,people at your school saw you as their swimming champion.

But it all changed when Lee Felix joined your school. He was an amazing swimmer and as much as it hurt your ego to admit it,Felix was better than you .

You couldn't help but feel jealous and even though he was in the same swimming team as you ,you never bothered to acknowledge him. He did try to befriend you but your ego was too big to pay heed to him.

On his birthday, when he invited you to his house for a party,you couldn't say no to those pleading eyes. You told yourself you went out of pity but that's not entirely true.

The party wasn't half as bad as you had thought and by the time the party died down,you also realized you were being too harsh on Felix. His sunshine like smile and cheerful personality worked magic on you.

He offered to walk you home since you insisted on walking back home alone . You agreed because your houses weren't very far apart.

"Do you hate me or something?" He caught you off guard as you find the right words to answer him.

You shook your head ." I don't hate you,Felix. I guess...I was just envious"

He chuckled. " you shouldn't be" and you nodded. He was right, you shouldn't be jealous and right now,in this moment you realise how ridiculous those feelings were.

You stopped at your gate and looked up at him,smiling ,and then gave him a quick hug

But before he could say anything you ran into your house.

The moment you close the door behind you,your forearm starts hurting really bad. And when you check it out to see what's causing it ,you see the name 'Lee Felix ' written on your skin.

7. Kim Seungmin

Kim Seungmin was that one cute boy from your school who dropped by at the library you work at every day.

He always greeted you with the brightest smile on earth and often chatted with you before he left the library. You had gotten used to his positive energy.

But one evening he came in,his eyes tired and mouth pressed in a small smile. He didn't even greet you ,which broke your heart a little.

He sat on the farthest corner of the library, a book open in front of him but his eyes and mind were elsewhere . You approached him.

"What's wrong?" He looked at you with tear filled eyes. "I didn't do well in my maths paper "

You softly patted his back. " hey,it's okay . Everyone knows you're good at maths and plus it was just an internal assessment. It won't hamper your finals "

"But that's the thing,y/n. I'm not good at maths. I am fairly good at the other subjects but I suck at maths,big time "

You looked at his sorry face and realised how much his grades mattered to him unlike you who didn't give too much thought to it . "I'm good at maths. If you want ,I could tutor you "

His face broke into a smile as he placed his hand on yours.

"You would?" You nodded as his smile turned even bigger.

You walked back to the reception after Seungmin calmed down,having discussed the timings for his math tutions and making him promise you free ice cream for the rest of your life in return for your favour.

You suddenly felt a sting on your forearm and on inspecting your forearm ,you saw the name 'Kim Seungmin' written in big letters as your stomach did a backflip in anticipation of what is to come.

8. Yang Jeongin

Jeongin and you had been best friends since childhood. Your parents were friends too so naturally you grew up to be closer than anyone.

But as you both entered teenage, you started seeing him as more than just a friend . So you distanced yourself from him. Over time ,he stopped trying to earn you back and you two grew apart.

It was the last year of high school and everyone was busy preparing for the Winter Ball. You weren't going(obviously),not just because you had no date but also because you didn't want to see Jeongin with someone else.

The morning of the ball arrived and your friends had given up on trying to convince you to go with them.

You were sitting on your sofa while eating breakfast when the doorbell rang.

"I heard that you weren't coming to the ball,y/n " Jeongin looked at you with sad eyes.

You looked at your feet,embarrassed . "Yes."

He sighed,walking into your house. "Why, y/n?"

You told him that you didn't have a date but he refused to believe that to be the only reason. He grabbed your shoulders,looking into your eyes. You heart was beating so fast you were sure you might pass out any minute.

"You like me,don't you? Isn't that the reason why you stopped hanging out with me? Please tell me its true" Your forearm started hurting badly at that moment but you ignored it,there were more important things to do than worry about a sore arm .

"Yes " you didn't want to lie to him anymore . You were tired of being afraid and playing safe all the time . For once,maybe bravery might be a better option.

He smiled from ear to ear ,wrapping you in his arms and snuggling his face in the crook of your neck. "I do too ,you dumbo. "

While your heart leaped with happiness ,the pain in your arm increased so you quickly checked the area whilst still in his embrace.

'Yang Jeongin ' was written on your skin and you knew what it meant. You knew that he was the one for you.