#i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

[a-leg-without-fear]

I'm Not Good Enough🌧️

this movie was fucking ADORABLE i love it so much

Ship: Charlie Denton x gn!Reader

Rating: 13+

Wordcount: 994

Warnings: angst, alcohol, self-doubt, anxiety

Series: Leg's Tuna Tober

Chilled beer flowed past your lips as you drank from the green bottle. The fizz tickled at the back of your nose, bitter and biting, before gliding down your throat. Condensation clung to the glass and wetted your palms.

The digital clock on the end table to your left read "10:23pm," almost half an hour since Max had gone to bed. He would undoubtedly still be awake. That little trouble maker was always working on Atom, reading a booklet on robot boxing, or sketching away at his next big project. His mind never seemed to stop swirling inside his 10-year-old head.

You supposed he got that whirlwind of a brain from his father. Charlie was always two steps away from a nervous breakdown. Anxiety riddled his tired mind on an hourly basis. He'd constantly look to you for reassurance, whether it was about his parenting, his career, or simply how he treated you as a partner.

He sat to your right on the brown leather couch. Twin bottle of beer to your own clutched in his hand, body practically melted into the sofa, head resting back on the cushions with his eyes firmly shut. Wrinkles cracked his tanned skin in the corners of his eyes and the space between his furrowed brows.

"Doing okay?" you asked as quietly as you could, scared to break the uneasy silence that had settled ever since Max was sent to bed. The air in the cluttered living room was heavy with an unidentifiable unease.

Charlie shrugged as his hazel eyes fell open, "Usual bullshit. Don't worry 'bout me."

You sighed as you set your beer on the end table. An array of rings were stained into the light wood from countless nights spent drinking on the couch. Leather creaked under the weight of you shifting to face Charlie.

"I'm always worried about you, hon. What's going on?" you insisted with a gentle prod against his shoulder. He grunted at the poke, lazily swatting your hand away.

"Don't wanna bother you. Forget it," he muttered. Further worry lines creased along his face as he took a long drag from his beer bottle. His Adam's apple bobbed with each thick swallow.

A sigh blew from your pursed lips in a thin stream. Dating someone as anxiety-ridden as Charlie had its challenges. You tried your best to navigate through the raging tempest inside his mind, course-correcting his lost ship along the choppy waves, keeping him from sinking to the ocean floor.

Some days were easier than others. That metric ton of stress that weighed on his mind seemed to lighten, his smile wider, more energy spilling from his bright, hazel eyes. He'd be more willing to practice with Atom on the robot's boxing combinations or to guide Max through verbal commands.

Today was not one of those days.

"How about you tell me the first thought that pops in your head and we leave it at that?" you offered with a kind smile. Seeing your partner like this drove a grief-lined spear through your heart every time. Forced to watch as this extraordinary man folded in on himself, reduced to barely half of his size, as he wallowed in his racing heart and clouded brain.

Charlie considered your proposition for a few moments. He tilted his head back and forth, stretching the tense muscles lining his broad neck.

"Alright," he finally said. You sat up straighter amongst the couch cushions. Focus fully fixed on the man beside you, chin resting in your palm and eyes passing between each of his. He sighed, clearly uncomfortable with your undivided attention, then mumbled, "I feel like I'm not good enough. For Max... And for you."

You kept your expression neutral as his words slammed into your stomach like a sack of bricks. Swallowing the lump that'd gathered in your throat, you said, "What makes you think that?"

"I'm always like this. Always caught up in my own head, not giving both of you the attention that you need. That you deserve," Charlie nearly rambled, voice barely above a whisper. The words tumbled from him like stones dipped in sorrow.

"Both Max and I know that you have your quirks," you began in a joking manner, attempting to lighten the dreary mood, "No one's perfect, Charlie. No one expects you to be at 110% every single day. You're not one of our robots, you're a human. And a great father, at that. I see the way Max looks at you. That kid loves you so damn much. He's a smart kid, he understands what you're going through. Guess what? Doesn't make him love you any less."

The brief speech seemed to settle on Charlie's shoulders like thick snow. His breath shuddered, lower lip quivering, as he screwed his eyes shut, "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do, hon. We both love you," you said softly while running a hand through his buzzed hair. The short strands tickled at the skin between your fingers.

He threw you off kilter as large arms enveloped you in a tight embrace. His pointed nose buried in your hair, beer long forgotten on the floor, arms squeezing you so tight you couldn't even dream of escaping. Not that you wanted to.

You were quick to return the hug, hands locking behind Charlie's back. Gentle hums leaked from your closed lips as you rested your chin on his shoulder. A little off-key, not quite matching the song you and Charlie had claimed as your own, but it comforted him nonetheless. He settled in your arms like a deflated balloon.

Anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with. It wracks one's mind with endless worry and near-paranoia at times. Makes one's heart race, their skin itching like it's on fire, stomach tying itself in knots. One day you'd get Charlie to see a therapist. Until then, you'd continue plotting his course through the hurricane and into your open arms.

screaming crying throwing up etc.

taglist: @just-a-nightdreamer @www-interludeshadow-com @venomqueen2002 @c1eepypas1a @amphitrite-5 @yarrystyleeza @lemurianstarship @theestorm

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[jumpinjackdragoon]

So some time ago I was on @valiisthea's blog and saw some Bingo cards and I was like... Hey, those look like fun to fill out as the Viera Dragoon herself! Plus they appear to need a pick-me-up and that I can do!

(Let's just pretend that nobody in the FF16-verse is confused by what appears to be someone with bunny ears)

If there's not a star but a confused-Jack-head, that's a "it depends" and I'm not counting it as a mark. Some things I'll go into depth more since... I like talking about my character.

"Ummm, Jack? You know you have an incompatible orientation with Dion and Terence so why did you fill these out?"

"Seemed like fun."

Yes, I'm aware of the irony that there's so many lines with someone that wouldn't work out. Though between the masculine name, flat chest, and deeper voice, it would be easy to mistake Jack for a prettyboy at first.

Can cook: While Jack may not have levelled cooking very high so don't expect anything fancy, her angling and gathering skills combined with the constant travel means she excels at grilling fish and veggies over an open flame.

Can backflip: She's a Dragoon! Of course!

Adrenaline Junkie: Her drive to be a powerful and brave knight means she's constantly willing to throw herself into danger no matter what it is. While most Dragoons jump into battle, she likes making a grand entrance by scattering foes atop her Behemoth mount.

Likes flying/dragons: Her wish as a child was to be able to jump high enough to touch the stars, so any time she's able to fly is when she's happy. The old fairy-tales made her wary of dragons at first, but she eventually started to come around to them.

Sexually dominant: Marked as "It depends" because Jack is very much someone who can go either way, be it dominance or gender (or desserts. Was once given a round of booing by her Free Company for declaring herself "bisnackxual" when asked if she preferred cakes or pies)

Not squeamish: She's a master of skinning, butchery, and preparing fish, so blood and guts don't phase her... though getting attacked by seagulls while gutting fish will!

Will spar with him: Yaaaaas! It's one of Jack's favourite things, once again inspired by tales of swordfights and jousting knights. While she's usually pretty gentle and easy-going, she's almost a beast once blades begin crossing. (Usually followed by apologies if she went a bit too rough)

Hair pets/physical touch/etc.: Jack can be incredibly touchy-feely with everyone, whether it's resting her arm on their shoulder or giving them a playful few mock-jabs. If she's the little spoon, she likes draping her ears back over the big spoon's shoulders.

Will read to him: And HOW! This Don Quixiote in a bunny's body loves to read stories about heroes, so you know she'll love sharing with others.

Elegance/grace (it depends): On one hand, she's a Dragoon. On the other hand, she has ridden her Behemoth off a cliff on more occasions to count.

Murder :3: Biiiiiig no. While Jack accepts that sometimes taking lives is par for the course, she does so for food, or culling wild creatures, or taking down people known for doing bad things. Even then, she still doesn't like taking lives.

Biting/Scratching: Generally, bunnies may bite gently at people as a form of bonding, like they're trying to help their owners groom. This carries over to Viera instincts as well.

Smoke breaks/strong (physically): Since Jack makes it a habit to stay in peak physical condition, smoking is a BIG no for her. Expect her to immediately be a few hundred paces away between the moment the spark lights up and the moment the smoke starts.

Rough in bed (it depends): While Jack is more willing to be dominant at times (and the whole biting thing) she doesn't like going too hard. Don't suggest breathplay, for example, because she's gonna be the one hyperventilating because she panicked over the worry of accidentally going to far.

Stargazing: Big yes! Jack's love of the night sky is a big motivator for her being a Dragoon.

Best him in sword practice (It depends): Jack's much better with a lance than a sword, so while she does her best, being able to best him might not always come easy.

Let him hear your hearbeat: Absolutely willing, though she does worry that he'd worry she's unwell because Viera hearts are naturally much faster (believe me, it took her some time to learn that Hyur/human heart-rates being much slower is normal. Poor bun keeps getting panicked when a party member goes down and she checks for signs of life because she thinks their pulse is dangerously slow. Let us be thankful she's a Dragoon and not someone with access to Thundaga)

Likes semi-grumpy dudes: Oh, she has plenty of practice hanging out with Estinien.

Loves Chocobos: While Behemoth is her preferred ride of choice, she still has a stable full of Chocobos. Her first one, Nugget, still is at her side.

Well whaddaya know, Barny. You were able to get a Bingo because Jack is... not dead. Despite how many times she ends up riding Behemoth off a cliff.

Genuinely care for him/can tolerate trauma: Ever since the Seventh Umbral Calamity, Jack can empathize with trauma. She's also an incredible listener - those big ears aren't for show!

Must be into old men (it depends): Much like how Jack might get confused with the difference between Viera and Hyur/human biology, she will especially get confused with the difference between their aging. If one race lives much longer than the other, what is the threshold for "old"? (Cue Jack counting on her fingers and mumbling)

A loyal horse (it depends): *Patrick Star voice* Is Behemoth a horse?

Must not be deceitful: Jack might be completely incapable of lying. Maybe that's why she's bad at poker games, she can't bluff even when she can tell others might be bluffing.

Well, this might be the most bingos. I think we can all agree that Clive is just rolling 20s in Charisma.

Social drinking: Not just social drinking, but if a bar fight breaks out you can guarantee that Jack will have Clive's back.

Dog person: Her beloved Bullpup, Cerberpup, and Corgi can attest to that!

Equality/Do the right thing: Jack sees or hears bigotry? Out comes the lance. And since I found it refreshing that Clive wasn't doing the tired "Nooooo, revenge is bad!" cliche with Jill, I'm sure that he'd have Invictus out just as fast.

Well, that was fun to explore my character a bit more!

[allthingskakashi]

•| Right Now Is All We Have|•

[ Kakashi x Reader]

You're awakened by the feeling of something plopping down on the mattress, filling up the empty space beside you.

You open your eyes and squint in the dark, as an arm drapes over your stomach.

"Kakashi..." you groan.. "Sorry i fell asleep waiting"

Kakashi lays silent and motionless beside you, face buried down into the bed. The weight of his arm on your stomach makes you unable to move. You plop yourself up against the pillow and his arm falls to your thighs. You check the time on clock on the bedstand, it reads 2:06 a.m.

You look at the man beside you, looking so weary as if he's resting his body after ages, which he probably is. The black vest he's wearing reveals the many wounds and bruises on his arms.

It pained you to see Kakashi like this, but it was something you had to get used to.

You place one hand on his head and start softly stroking his silvery hair, rubbing his back gently with your other hand.

"Tough mission?" you ask, your voice tender.

Kakashi stays quiet, putting his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. You know it means yes.

He was gone for one whole week, sent to pursue an enemy. The mission was supposed to be over in three days but it stretched on. You were worried sick but the Hokage had assured you that everything was fine. But it still hadn't pacified the restlessness in you. Who knows what they had to do? Maybe Kakashi had to kill someone, maybe his team lost a member... You didn't wanna ask yet.

You continue rubbing his back, trying to soothe him as much as you can. His muscles seem to relax under your touch.

"Did you eat yet? I put your food in the oven so it stays warm, I wasn't sure when you'd be back"

Kakashi still doesn't say anything. By the looks of it, he hasn't showered yet so he probably hasn't eaten. This is starting to worry you now. This wasn't the first time Kakashi returned from a mission so... drained. Not just physically but emotionally as well. You hated what these missions did to him. But there was nothing you could do. All the horrible possibilities about what may have happened swarms inside your head, making you nauseous.

"Kakashi... You're worrying me. Let me fix up your wounds at least" you say, basically to the dark now, your voice pleading.

Kakashi stirs, taking his time lifting up his head to look at you. You gaze at what you can make of his face in the light coming from the streets through the window.

His otherwise beautiful face looks sunken, eyes marked with dark circles under them. Dirt and sweat are smeared across the visible areas of his face, streaks of dried blood on his forehead.

Your heart sinks, making your eyes well up.

"Kakashi..."

You slide down on the bed and pull Kakashi's face to your chest, holding him tight. You plant a few kisses on the top of his head. He puts his other arm around you, gripping you with both arms.

You stay that way for a long time, in complete silence. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking away.

"Y/n.."

Kakashi says after a while, against your chest. The tone of his voice makes you anxious.

"Why do you care so much about me? I am not worthy of it."

The sudden statement takes you by surprise. But this wasn't the first time Kakashi said something like this either. You try to suppress the quiver in your voice and speak, keeping your tone firm.

" I care about you because i love you. And i love you because you deserve every ounce of love in the world."

He's silent but you know he's listening, so you go on.

"I know you don't like to think so, but i do. You can try pushing me away as much as you want, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and hold you and keep holding you until you realise that you ARE worthy. Of happiness, of love and of everything you think you aren't worthy of."

Kakashi's head sinks further into your body.

"I don't know what happened in your mission Kakashi..", you continue "but you aren't responsible for it. Okay? You're an excellent shinobi and an even better person and i know you care deeply about your comrades and would give your life for them. So no matter what happened... It's not your fault." you speak into his ear, holding him close the whole time.

You feel worn out from trying to sound strong and not allowing yourself to simply break down. But you know you need to be strong right now, for Kakashi. You need to be his shoulder to lean on.

Kakashi is quiet again, half of his body wrapped around you. His grip is so firm, like you're made of dust and you'd slip through if he didn't hold you tight. He doesn't say anything for so long you think he's fallen asleep. You rest your chin on his head, every cell in your body overflowing with love for him. My baby, my beautiful, beautiful baby.

You're about to doze off too, the familiar feel of Kakashi beside you after so long gives you the comfort that was missing all these days and you feel at peace inside, like you can actually sleep again.

"Y/n.." Kakashi's soft voice permeates through the foggy thoughts of your drowse. You open your eyes.

" Marry me."

You're fully awake now, all your senses heightened. Did you hear that right? Or are you still in a trance? You lift your chin away from over his head and try to look at his face, wondering if he's murmuring in his sleep.

"W-What?" you ask, feeling stunned.

Kakashi looks up at you and speaks in a soft, clear tone. " Marry me, Y/n."

You are dumbstruck. No word or sound escapes your mouth. You look at him, stupefied.

Kakashi unwraps himself away from you and quickly gets up with a jump in a hurry, turning the bedside lamp on and hastily disappearing from the room.

You sit upright on the bed now, neither your body nor your mind functioning. You wait, unsure of what's happening.

Kakashi scurries back into the room in a few seconds. You notice him holding a tiny blue velvety box in hand. He hurries on to the bed, and sits facing you, one leg folded and the other hanging by the side of the bed. He takes your hands in his, his tone is urgent, nervous. He speaks so fast you're having trouble keeping up.

"Y/n, i was going to wait for later to do this, think of something special to do for you, maybe buy you some flowers, I don't know, I'm not good at this and I don't know how someone like you ever fell for someone like me but you're the biggest blessing in my life, you're all i have and I don't want to lose you. You're the only thing standing between me and the insanity that would've consumed me if it weren't for you. I was going to wait but--

Kakashi lets out a heave, out of breath from speaking so much so fast. He pulls down his mask, unveiling his face which is ridden with so many emotions. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out, recomposing himself, and squeezes your hands.

Your heart is so full, you wait for him to finish just so you can kiss him. You realise your cheeks are damp with a steadily flowing stream of tears.

Kakashi continues, speaking slowly in a clear voice now.

"I was going to wait but I don't want to wait any longer. There's no knowing whether I'll live tomorrow, all i have is now and right now, i am lucky enough to be here with you, to be loved by you.. and I want to let you know how much you mean to me, right now. I..I love you Y/n. I don't want to lose you.. I don't know how many years of life fate has in store for me, i always thought I'd die young but i made it till here and I'm glad i did because i found you, and i want to spend whatever days i have remaining, with you. Loving you, and allowing myself to be loved by you."

Kakashi takes a ring out of the box with slightly trembling hands and clasps both your hands in both of his, looking into your eyes with a piercingly earnest gaze.

"So will you ma-- Oh wait, I'm sorry" ,he shakes his head, fumbling nervously. He hurriedly gets down to the floor to kneel on one knee, making sure he's doing this right.

You chuckle at this, your vision blurry through your tears. He's smiling too, eyes shining bright. There's hope in them now and not just sorrow. He kneels on the floor, holding your hand in one hand, and the ring in the other. You're both grinning at each other like idiots now.

" So will you marry me, Y/n?"

[cyberv0rtex]

Really thinking heavily about a Nausicaa / HLVRAI AU. Slightly differing from the original movie, definitely. I'd like to think that Gordon would take the place of Nausicaa. Prince of the valley of the wind, with a strange connection to nature. A strange connection to the wild, creatures, bugs, fascinated with them. He respects them, he respects the Earth. Benrey would be some sort of humanoid bug creature festering within the Toxic Jungle, who Gordon would meet at some point to truly challenge him. Challenging Gordon on whether or not he is going to be the link that connects humans and mother nature once again. I'd like to think Bubby would take the role of Lord Yupa, and Coomer possibly being the role of Gordon's father. I'm not sure who Tommy would be, but if anything he'd be a fitting Asbel.

I'm rewatching the movie because I can't sleep. thinking of some of these scenes as Gordon. Gordon guiding Bubby and taming the giant ohmu, encouraging it to go back to the jungle. back home. Bubby startling when he realizes it's Gordon, shouting,

"You tamed it with nothing but a damn flash grenade and insect charm? Where the hell did you learn that!",

As the Tulmekian air ship glides over the valley, searching for a place to land, I can really. really imagine gordon on that glider. Gliding by, realizing in horror that the ship is covered in bugs and they can't see. they don't know where to land. Frantically shouting, "Turn the ship! you're going to crash! turn the ship!" Only for his efforts to fail, and the side of the cliffs engulfed in flames. That moment of horror when gordon sees the princess through the window before it all explodes. Letting the princess have a brief moment of peace before her passing, promising her that the cargo is burning. "Yes Estel, I understand. Everything is burning, don't you worry." Gordon's head filling with dread as she mutters out a final, "thank god." before passout. Breaking her hand cuffs, because he refuses to let her die a prisoner.

The giant insect creeping out of the fire, everyone freaking out. Gordon uses the insect charm to bait the insect away, hopping on his glider and guiding it back to the jungle. It's not the insect's home, and he wants to bring it home and away from their valley. And as he spends all night flying the insect home, he's met with another ohmu.

Instead of just the ohmu waiting, there's an insect boy standing on top of it. Benrey. Benrey is guarding his jungle, he wants his insect family to return home safely. And as soon as he sees that gordon has brought the insect home safely, he just stares. before turning around and going home himself.

Gordon feels content. And heads home himself, despite tired. exhausted from being out all night, probably flying for a good hour or two to guide this bug back home. His job isn't done yet, though. He needs to go home and assess the damages the crash caused. That is his job, as prince with his father, the king, bed ridden.

Bubby discovering the heart. the beating red heart of the giant warrior, terror knowing its in their valley. From the 7 days of fire, 1,000 years ago.

Gordon recognizing the same sick sound of airships approaching from outside the valley. And then they invade.

They invade his home, his valley, that he's trying to protect and they crash and soldiers March out. People are screaming, Gordon trying to coral everyone. Shouting, "Get out of the way!" before another heavy layer of dread sets in.

they're going to the castle. they're after his father. they're going to kill him.

and then they do, and he feels this SICKLY rage and violence overcome him, and he starts attacking the soldiers. Before bubby steps in and gets in the way of his sword, and gets stabbed in the hand by Gordon. and it sinks in that, despite the fact they're invading his kingdom, his home, killing civilians,

his anger caused him to kill.

and it hits as bubby says, calmly, affirming what's happened, "Gordon. Be calm." Gman would make a good representation of the queen kushana. and forzen could do good as her "weasel" of a commander.

they all want to burn the jungle, but gordon knows there's more to the jungle. Gordon has seen it, Gordon practically runs around in the jungle every other day. there's no particular reason to fear them, the insects, as long as you respect the land. if you try to burn it, it will burn you.

Maybe I will post later sorry for rambling besties