#i don't know why but sometimes i feel a bit silly posting these online bc they're always so personal

[bataranqs]

10 Happy Things

May 11, 2024

Slept most of the day let's gooo

My bed and clothes are so warm and cozy

Called my mom and apparently she was out with people but she stepped outside to talk to me for a bit before going back to them and just feeling very very loved

My mom called me back and I talked to my sisters for nearly two hours hwjoiegdjkl we're just absolute nerds the lot of us

The Bible Plan I've been doing these past few days is just re-looking at everything from the basis of just get right with God, are you following Jesus and it's been very comforting to have that reminder like it is relational, it is supposed to be a delightful life we're living, there's no stress at all about doing x or y and if you're supposed to, it will not be anything but good

I can't really move my toes individually (except the ones at the ends) and I think it's kinda cute. They're a pack. They're friends. Do Not Separate.

The Tim Horton's White Hot Chocolate is so insanely good

Dungeon Meshi is such a good manga broooo

There are so many joys that I don't think I'll run out of them, and isn't that just the most delightful thing ever?

When I started this list I was feeling a little tired but now I'm quite happy and excited!! I'm so grateful to Katie for getting me into this, and my friends who also do stuff like this

[castlebyersafterdark]

No real name, no real face. I'm enjoying the ability to be really open about my life and this fandom hobby without having it link back to my real life or people in it.

Isn’t that part of the joy in all this? At least for me it is, I hardly post anything on my main accounts with my face bc of family following me and some weird pressure associated with it. and of course sometimes people use that anonymity for bad but having been following your blog for awhile I know your not like that (that’s partially why I had hc you to be Canadian lol), your personality and kindness shines through and makes it so fun to be here. not that my opinion matters but I personally don’t like the idea of a face reveal and I feel like you’ve somewhat described yourself enough for my imagination to fill in the blanks without needing to know what you actually look like

It really is part of the joy, the freedom. Even though YES I can be truthful and admit that while on occasion I'm confused why there's further interest in my life and stuff, it's also really touching and fun that it worked out that way? I appreciate when people are honest so I try to be. I really think it was the sensitive overreaction on my part to the idea that some hated the idea of fans mixing real life and fandom content on a blog and it irked me, it upset me (we know I got over it and understood the issues were something very different) and I did decide I wasn't going to retreat. Been really cool to allow my personality to be a part of what I do on this blog. It sounds silly and I'm maybe a bit too vulnerable sometimes, but hey - that's also my choice. I think this space has helped me be kinder and more creative and feel really secure in certain things. That's cool.

It's escapism while grounded in reality. It's a journal I'm penning but you're all helping contribute to and read. I don't think putting pictures up of my life adds to anything. One, no one else is doing that. I barely know what anyone on tumblr looks like. Only a handful and those are people I've known online over a decade haha and some - still don't. That's ok.

I like that tumblr has become the last of its kind really, where anonymity is there if needed. Everything else is face forward. Anyway, thank you for the kind words 🫶

[hollow-prey]

thinking about that post making the rounds talking about the interaction dilemma in the self ship community, and I have some Thoughts but didn't want to lump it onto the main post bc some of them are a bit petty and, well, this turned into a lengthy train of thought.

I do agree that there is definitely some uneven distribution of interaction around the self ship community. Bigger/more popular blogs tend to get more attention, asks, validation, and yes, sometimes even uncommissioned fanart and small fics of their self ships. I won't lie, I do get jealous sometimes seeing popular blogs getting heaps of attention. And it can feel frustrating (and sometimes a bit condescending) when bigger blogs make posts saying "the popularity of your self ships shouldn't matter! You should be doing this for yourself! You don't need any outside validation for your self ships to be important :)", yet most of them don't have to worry about that since they're the ones frequently getting outside validation and asks and whatnot.

That sounds petty as hell, I know. And yeah, it is petty and silly to feel that way about something like this. But it's so easy to feel jealous and bitter and even discouraged when posting one's self ship content and getting little to no response, while the same handful of popular blogs in your orbit seem to be raking in the notes and interaction all the time.

To be fair, it is true that self shipping should primarily be about and for your own enjoyment. Each self ship is something created and maintained solely for yourself, you make the rules, you can tweak and rewrite and eliminate canon as you please, you can do whatever makes your heart happy. But also, as the original post said, we are social creatures and we like sharing stuff we make with others. We like knowing that other people see and enjoy our work. We like the interaction and the validation. And it can start to sting when we constantly put ourselves and our self ship stuff out there in the hopes of someone noticing and saying something, yet getting nothing at all.

I know no one owes me anything. I'm very shy and I keep to myself and I rarely post in the main tags. People are busy, myself included, and when it comes to supporting self ships, most people are going to prioritize their friends and mutuals over some rando small account they have no connection to. I get that, and I'm not faulting anyone for it.

The easiest and most obvious solution to this dilemma is, naturally, for blogs (regardless of size) to interact with people more (also regardless of blog size), especially if they're not a mutual or a friend or even a familiar account that you follow. Find other small blogs! Reach out! Send a message! Find self shippers who enjoy the same content as you!

Easy enough in practice, but I can also understand why some people are hesitant to reach out to strangers. Speaking for myself, I'm very shy. I have anxiety. Talking to new people, both online and in real life, often makes me nervous. I'm afraid people will hate me immediately for something I like. I'm afraid people are going to judge me for my taste in f/os. Some people might seem intimidating to talk to, even though they're just another regular person! So I realize it would be bold of me to request interaction from others when I'm so shy and barely interact with strangers as it is.

I want to try and be better at reaching out to different self ship blogs and sending messages or prompts. Mostly because it's just a nice thing to do, and in theory, it should set the wheel of "interaction karma" in motion, where (in theory) something you do (like sending an ask) comes back to you in a similar way (receiving an ask), repeat the cycle and keep the interaction flowing across the community. You know, "you must give if you want to receive" and all. It keeps things from being one-sided, where a chain of people keep taking prompts and posts from the last person who reblogged it but never giving anything back. Like when people post those ask games and say to practice "reblog karma" i.e. send a message from the prompt list to whoever you reblogged it from, or whoever reblogs it from you, so they get something in return. This is, of course, a wonderful idea when it works. But that can still feel one-sided at times when people (especially small blogs) follow the "reblog karma" rules and send asks/prompts/messages upon reblogging an ask game or prompt post, only to still get nothing in return.

And again, I know, people are busy and they have lives outside of tumblr, ultimately no one owes anyone anything, and most blogs are going to prioritize friends and mutuals when it comes to interaction and ask games and the like. Interaction is important, and I think increased activity from all corners of the self ship community would be awesome. But it's also important that we don't burn ourselves out or spread ourselves too thin trying to interact and send stuff to every self ship blog we come across. Sending asks and the like to other blogs shouldn't feel like a chore or some endless daunting task.

TL;DR though I'm a very small blog and often keep to myself because I'm very shy, I want to try and be better about interacting with other self ship blogs, especially ones I'm not already familiar with. Hopefully others will do the same (without burning themselves out). And hopefully this post made some sense despite being all over the place.