#i don't know what this is pls don't ask SKHFKSHFKSHD

[layzeal]

picturing poor teenji in modern era growing up in the 2000s. he's in computer class. the lesson already ended but there's still time until the bell rings, so the kids are allowed to play flash games or visit any allowed website. wei ying slides his chair next to him and tries to annoy him into playing a flash version of smash bros (they'd share the same keyboard to play?? 😳😳) but he ignores him and brushes him off until he eventually gives up and goes bother jiang cheng instead. then, lan zhan overhears a group of girls giggling as they click on a Love Calculator at girlsgogames and then typing out different names and combinations, then loudly yelling and laughing at the results until the teacher tells them to tone it down

at home, he finishes his homework early and all his lessons, but neither brother nor uncle are home yet, so he decides to go use his uncle's computer to find and print some more music sheets. as he's browsing, his mind takes him back to class, and to the girls giggling. he brushes it off, focusing on seeing which music sheets he can practice, but his mind keeps wandering. after a long time, his cursor finally hovers to open a new tab. he types G, stops, then IRLSGO, stops again, sighing in frustration. why is he even doing this?

but the search function suggests the website a few rows down. somehow, he convinces himself that it's fine if he's just clicking a link, rather than typing it. the website opens, bright and colorful, and on the lower left in a small square, he sees that Love Calculator is already recommended as one of the most popular games, behind some doll dressing up, barbie games, and one with a girl with lasers in her eyes followed by a line of floating men. strange games that his female peers seem to play, he thinks

anxiously, his cursors hovers again, the arrow turning into a hand, pointing to the very middle of the heart, enticing him to click. he doesn't. he shakes his head and returns to the music sheet website, scrolls a bit, finds a few sheets, and finally sets it to print, but not without his eyes repeatedly glancing to the girlsgogames tab, still open next to it.

unfortunately, his uncle printer has always been a bit fickle, and it takes a while for it to understand the command. he sighs again, leaning his back on the chair to wait, and while he does, that cursed tab catches his eye again.

teenji purses his lips, biting the inside of his cheek. his hand moves, the tab reopens, and the colorful pink heart stares at him, daring. the printer is still making noises, but hasn't begun to print, and in his impatience, accidentally or not, he clicks on the game.

now this is the worst part

"your name" and "his or her name" sit blank on the screen as the heart in the center sparkles. lan zhan is thankful, at least, that it doesn't spell something ridiculous such as "your crush's name" or "your soulmate's name". this is distant, and doesn't necessarily signify romantic love (despite the sparkling hearts dancing on his monitor). it might just be a silly compatibility test, regarding two person's personalities and their affinity. lan zhan was young, but he knew there were many types of love. one could type the name of a friend, a family member, or an annoying classmate, and it wouldn't mean anything at all. it's just a ridiculous computer game, after all.

with this in mind, his chest feels lighter, and his hands don't tremble as he types "lan zhan" and "wei ying" respectively. the printer makes another sound, and the paper slides into it as the music sheet slowly takes form. finally, with just a bit of hesitation, he clicks on the bright pink button written in cursive font, "calculate".

the love meter fills as the hearts and names bubble and dance flamboyantly, and his printer sucks up another page. he doesn't stare at the screen, because as established, he does not care much for it, but the colors jitter on the corner of his eye, and he pretends not to pay attention to it, watching as the black notes and line come alive on the previously blank pages.

then, the screen changes, and something like confetti and sparkles move as the animation switches, signifying the result of the calculation was complete, and lan zhan does not move to look, the peripheral colors taunting him as he continues to watch the printer do its magical work.

but every respite has its end, and as he collects the papers and gathers them nicely on a thin pile, he realizes he must now turn around to close the tabs and shut off the computer. a voice in his mind reminds him of the big, bright button on the CPU — one click and he won't even need to look at the screen, and simply turn the computer off and leave the room, but he painfully turns the idea away. the teacher has said that this was not a good way to shut off a computer, and besides, what if the tabs stay open? what if next time his uncle turns on the monitor, he finds a bright heart flashing with his and wei ying's name, and the extremely high results of their relationship compatibility? no, the mere thought of it was nightmarish. he must face the girlsgogames tab alone if he wishes for his crimes to go unnoticed by any other soul.

so, slowly, with eyes slightly unfocused, he turns on the chair, and reaches for the mouse again, and a fleeting thought wishes he'd had removed his glasses before doing so. thus, impassive, lan zhan looks back at the screen, eyes focused on the red X at the top right corner, but for as much as he'd tried, the bright and colorful animations caught his attention, listless to his efforts, and right before the window closed and the vast green field and blue sky of his uncle's wallpaper welcomed him with open arms, a large, pink number had burned into his retina, and his cursor sat motionless over the "shut down" button for longer than he'd ever admit.

after that day, for reasons which lan huan is still not certain of, his didi became quite enthralled with the percentage of 33, even asking if it really was a low number or if there were any significances to it that they were not familiar with. lan qiren, however, could only wonder why the ads on the corner of some websites had begun to flash in pink, purple and white, suggesting girly games website which he'd never even heard of.