#i don't know if i'll get something specifically odazai related in the future

[stuffgoeswrong]

Yes i 100% agree with you on what you said about soukoku but now i MUST ask you to talk about odazai as well if you're up for it because i love them too. They are so important to me

Yes, absolutely! Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, it was past midnight last night and I've had classes all day. Odazai has become my OTP to end all OTPs, like it is unfathomable how much I love them. I could literally talk about them all day, so I'm sorry this got so long. I'm so happy you're a chill member of the fandom and love them too! By the way, I wanted to say I totally agree with your opinions on Kousano and respect your Chuuaku ones too! Kousano very much feels like a "these two are cool, put them together" kind of ship without a lot of concern for their development and similarities. While I do love Kouyou as a character, I don't have fond feelings for her when she's presented just by herself (as opposed to her other canon relationships like with Kyouka), and liking both parties of a ship is pretty much a requirement for me. Luckily, this happened with Odazai!

In general I do view this ship through a Dazai heavy lens because I relate to him hardcore and it's hard for me to understand/get attached to stoic characters like Oda. This is weird because I'm probably more like him irl than Dazai lol. I always feel like I'm not looking as deeply into Oda's character as I could be, and I try to be conscious of not lessening his role in comparison to Dazai's, but keep that in mind and judge me if you want as you read this lol.

What made you ship it?

The fact that Dazai showed the most emotion I've ever seen on his face and in his voice (amazing job by Miyano Mamoru) around Oda and the later realization that Dazai was Oda's first and one of his only friends. Not to say other characters *coughcoughchuuyacough* haven't made a significant impact on Dazai. I try not to compare these two ships a lot cause they are both meaningful in their own ways to the story and the characters. But anyway, I cried like a little bitch before Oda's big fight/death scene even happened, when Dazai just is begging him not to go throw away his life and trying to relate to him on a deeply personal level to get him to stay. That really showed to me how much he cared for Oda and how different that relationship was to him whether he knew it or not. Someone also edited the Dead Apple scene beautifully to be more shippy and I can never forget it. Also, Scarlet Sky playing every time Oda is talked about or Dark Era is referenced in the main storyline got me sobbing. I guess what truly made me ship Odazai is just the abundance of a suggested romantic connection (very obvious on Dazai's part). Dark Era (confronting Mori about this massive betrayal and leaving the mafia feels like "you have destroyed everything that was ever important to me, bye"), how Oda thinks of Dazai, not Ango or the orphans, when he believes he's dying after getting poisoned, Dazai literally ruining peoples' lives that he holds dear in the present just so Oda can live and be happy even without him in Beast, Dear Prince (a love song) playing when Dazai recalls that moment in Dead Apple and in the flashback later on, "Was it someone you loved?" and dodging the question LIKE HOW OBVIOUS can you get!!

2. As I fell further into the rabbit hole. . .

So I joined an Odazai discord server around a year ago, love it there, everyone's so creative and lovely, here if interested: https://discord.gg/tnA3mzyB. There's also a lot of analyses on Odazai on Tumblr that make sense! This post about Oda and Dazai being each other's regrets (from Dark Era light novel, Oda says, "Ango and I could stay by Dazai's side because we can understand the loneliness that revolves around Dazai. Even though we are by his side, we would never step within. But now, I'm a little regretful that I never stepped into that loneliness impolitely." Oda just say you wanna hold his hand lol), this whole post about them filling each other's unmet childhood needs, this which basically puts all Odazai moments and mentions together, I absolutely love this theory that there's a physical change in Dazai's ability after he meets Oda, there's just so much to love about them.

3. What I don't like:

Putting this here cause I don't want to end on this note. This ain't even about Oda and Dazai, it's just about the fandom. I don't think any of us who like this ship like the people who complain about the 5 year age difference. It's not a lot at all, especially when you take literally everything else about their relationship into account and the fact that it's fictional and fun. But since side A and B have come out (which I haven't read) I've seen people kind of using it as further evidence that the age gap is a problem and let it cloud their judgement on Oda and Dazai's respective personalities and boundary abiding tendencies. In addition to that I always see the, "but Oda calls him a child and views him like that in the novel" argument, which I don't really get. I watched some YouTube video a while ago that was like, why do partners call each other baby or babe? It's because those words represent a yearning to take care of the other and foster a better, more committed relationship or something like that. Saying your friend has a hurt expression like a lost kid doesn't necessarily mean you think of them as significantly younger or immature compared to you. This especially applies in fictional writing where it can just be used as a helpful visual for something that will be adapted to a screen. I don't have a problem with fans who dislike Odazai romantically, but I do when they completely deny their equal footing. Come on, Oda mixes up his fairytales and Dazai is insanely smart, their relationship would never be abusive on an age basis. Anyway.

4.. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Well for one, I'm a sucker for angst and pain and two, I love childhood friends/best friends to lovers so so so much. Add in the possibility of enemies to lovers in Beast and they have it all. I guess I like the ambiguity and flow of how their relationship could go too. Like, they both would think moving in with each other is totally natural friend behavior, and then there'll be this phase of realization and it'll just pass by like yeah, we're married now. From Dark Era, we get that Oda, Dazai, and Ango can all be friends outside their different ranking mafia positions because they all feel that they think similarly and understand each other. They're all on equal ground, so Dazai and Oda having a profound connection built off that is something I think can be an accurate reflection of real life. At their cores, both want the best for each other. Oda wants Dazai to have a life meaningful to him and suggests that path through what he knows, Dazai wants Oda to live out his dream, helping him to do that in whatever way possible. They are separated by time and space, yet so closely linked by what they've found with each other it hurts. There's literally already a family there with the kiddos too! These two seem to get dumber in each other's presence like SSKK also does and I find that amusing lol. I appreciate that Oda is serious about the people he cares about and doesn't take Dazai's suicide obsession as lightly as a lot of other characters, as some shippers speculate because he has also had depression at one point or another. I love that in several peoples' minds, Odazai would only have conflict when they're upset the other isn't taking care of themself properly. I love that Oda is such an oblivious himbo. I love that people speculate Dazai's bolo tie reminds him of Oda's eyes and that he picked the spot for the grave that overlooks a beautiful view even if he didn't know Oda loved the ocean. I love that they both realize they care about each other when it's too late, that they will meet in the afterlife.

I have many feelings and thoughts. Thank you so much if you listened to me rant and read this whole thing!