#i don't have a rare skin disease I promise

[redtsundere-writes]

Part 24: Beyond

King!SukunaRyomen x Servant!FemReader

Summary: You used to be just another servant among the army of humans operating under the command of the terrible king, Sukuna Ryomen. An ordinary human who only knows how to wash, clean and cook. Until one day, he notices something in you that you hadn't seen before.

Tags: MDNI. +18. Murder. Blood. Cannibalism. Sukuna Ryomen Is The Warning Itself. Nudity. Sexual Display. Vaginal. Fingering. Sometimes fluff, sometimes angst. Beta read.

Word Count: 5354 words.

A/N: So early omg...

Beginning. | ← Previous | Next →

“How do you win a man over?”

The journeys through the Impossible Belt left scars on your mind. The hardest days you could remember. Crossing those colossal mountains required at least three strenuous days, or two if luck was on your side, though it rarely was. Yorozu, your mother and you moved forward in a silence laden with exhaustion and expectation, driven only by the promise of the elegant balls in Gojo kingdom. The bare trees, the biting wind and the frozen ground whispered warnings, threatening you to go back home. Even so, you continued onward. The dense mist enveloped the landscape, a cloak not only hiding the path, but also the curses that lurked, invisible and dangerously close.

The cold was the commoners’ worst enemy. When skin freezes, the threat becomes tangible: disease, suffering, and for the less fortunate, death itself. The best way to keep warm was to wrap yourself in three or four blankets, those blankets always ended up in the hands of your mother, who claimed them with the authority of someone in charge. So you and Yorozu had no choice but to sleep embraced, sharing the comfort of a single blanket that barely managed to contain the cold of the night.

“Why do you ask?” Yorozu whispered to not wake her mother, releasing a small trail of steam.

“If I don't get married soon, Mom will be furious,” you explained in the same tone, shivering in her arms from the cold. “How do you make all the men crazy about you?”

Yorozu was stupidly beautiful, but there must have been something beyond her appearance that caught the attention of men like moths to a flame. Whether in the humble commune or in the elegant halls of the Gojo kingdom, she had a magnetism that aroused unspeakable desires, even among those who knew her sharp tongue well. Her beauty could dazzle, but her personality repelled, still and all, men continued to fall under her spell, as if the contradiction itself was part of her appeal.

“Men are simple creatures. You just have to look pretty, give them a flirtatious smile and make them believe that they are the most interesting man in the world,” Yorozu commented with a certain arrogance.

Yorozu was fascinated by men, but not in the conventional way. To her, they were simple toys. She was like a cat being entertained by a field mouse, catching it by the tail every time it tried to escape, just to prolong the fun. If that was the trick to bewitching them, you had no hope. You let out a resigned sigh, accepting your defeat with a mixture of frustration and envy. Yorozu instantly caught the disappointment on your face and, as expected, smiled with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

"But since you are my favorite sister, I will tell you my secret technique." Yorozu took pity on you.

"Really? "

"You just have to promise not to tell anyone." She warned you.

"I promise".

"Listen carefully, I call this technique: ‘Pull and push.’ It is foolproof".

Yorozu’s technique was as simple as it was effective, a dance in two perfectly calculated and consecutive movements. First, she gave them exactly what they craved, letting them taste a hint of what they could have. Then, with impeccable coldness, she ignored them, leaving them in the abyss of unfulfilled desire. She never failed: they always came back, begging for more. That was how Yorozu pulled the strings of obsession.

"Isn't that manipulation?" You asked worriedly.

"Call it what you want, but it always works".

"But what happens when they get bored of chasing?".

"Oh, sis. It's obvious you don't know anything about men". Yorozu mocked, ending up in a coughing fit due to the cold darkness. "Men are hunters by nature. They don't rest until they get what they want".

"And if what they want it's not me?" You asked worriedly.

You looked down, caught in the whirlwind of thoughts that whispered cruel truths. Maybe you weren't desirable enough for someone to chase or fight for you. Insecurity weighted on your shoulders. But before you could completely sink, Yorozu took your jaw firmly and lifted your face, forcing you to look her straight in the eyes. A simple gesture of command, characteristic of her.

"Then that man is not worth it." Yorozu promised you.

The love letter had driven Sukuna mad like few things could. If he was already a ruthless tyrant, this time he had taken his cruelty to a new level. Unleashing his fury, he began a relentless search throughout the castle to discover who the author of the letter was. Kenjaku began, demanding names, possible suspects who might have harbored feelings for him. But he failed to offer any answers that satisfied him. Frustrated, Sukuna turned his wrath on Mahito, relentlessly beating him until he was reduced to a mass of tears and pleadings. The commander swore he knew nothing about the mysterious letter. Finally, he grabbed Mrs. Inoue and threatened to kill her on the spot if she did not reveal a name. But neither shouting nor threats had any effect. The letter remained an enigma, and his frustration, an unstoppable fire.

A month passed by since the coronation, and now there were only two days left until the long-awaited ball. It was time to leave for the Zen'in lands. The sun rose high, its dim light filtering through the clouds of smoke that dyed the sky an eerie gray. As you passed through the castle gates, you were met by a bustling scene. Hundreds of curses hurried about, carrying suitcases, sharpening cursed weapons and securing cargo carts for the long journey. The bustle was chaotic, but efficient, each one fulfilling their role with precision. Among them, Mrs. Inoue stood out with her usual calm behind you, carrying your suitcase towards the majestic royal carriage. The only thing you carried was your bow and arrows.

“I hope you have a great time.” Mrs. Inoue wished you a good trip as she handed the suitcase to the porter.

“I hope so too. I can’t wait to see the dress King Sukuna has prepared for me.” You smiled as you imagined a beautiful white dress with pretty headdresses like the ones you used to wear at the balls in the Gojo Kingdom.

“You better tell me everything when you get back. Especially how handsome Commander Zen’in looked,” Mrs. Inoue asked, fantasizing about the handsome boy in a military suit. You crossed your arms and snorted as you remembered his disgusting existence. “He may be a misogynist, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome,” your friend defended herself.

The bustle in the courtyard intensified the instant the king made his appearance. The curses, already working in a hurry, redoubled their efforts, making sure everything was in perfect order for the journey. Kenjaku and Mahito moved between them, checking that no one had failed in their task.

You and Mrs. Inoue bowed as you saw the king approaching. Sukuna, with that bearing that combined arrogance and elegance, took your hand with a surprising delicacy for someone like him. Like every morning since he had proposed to you, he kissed the large ring that adorned your finger. Lady Inoue, always discreet, wished you a good journey with a respectful bow before returning inside the castle, letting the game pass without interruptions.

“I thought you agreed that the ball would not be a trap,” you said to the king, watching all the curses work.

“Just because the odds are low doesn’t mean they’re zero. It’s better to be prepared,” Sukuna explained.

You got into the royal carriage with the help of your fiancé. Once you were both seated in your respective seats, the porter closed the door. You heard Mahito’s shrill voice shouting out the instructions about the departure to the Zen’in kingdom. You twirled your engagement ring on your finger as you waited in complete silence for the journey to begin.

It had been over a month since you began to execute your plan, and so far, everything had gone better than you expected. You had managed to make King Sukuna obsessed with you, and, to your surprise, it had been much simpler than you imagined. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Yorozu’s toxic technique had borne fruit: a simple romantic gesture was enough for the king to break his own scheme and take the next step. From there, the rest unfolded with an almost insulting ease.

A cute smile in the hallways, a fleeting touch under the table, or a bold glance that you quickly concealed with an innocent façade. Every calculated move entangled him further in your web. Sukuna, the feared tyrant, now danced to the tune of your strings. And, the best of all, he hadn't even noticed. He thought he was the puppeteer, but you were the one in complete control, and with each passing day, the game had been more interesting.

"We need to talk."

Sukuna broke the silence as soon as the carriage began to move. At last, the journey was about to begin. You placed the ring back on your finger correctly before turning to him.

"Yes, my king?"

"Kenjaku and I have been talking about this ball and decided to leave you with an important task." Sukuna explained. “You can have fun at the ball, but you will have to look into as much as you can about the Zen'in kingdom.”

You didn't need him to remind you. From the moment you asked him to go to the ball, you knew exactly what that opportunity meant. For Sukuna, it was nothing more than an excuse to spy on the enemy up close, and you would be his key piece on the board. You had anticipated this, and although he didn't tell you directly, you understood that your role went beyond looking elegant at the party. It made sense. Being of the same race as the sorcerers, your presence among them would raise less suspicion. It would be easier for you to get closer, gain trust, and hear what they would never reveal to curses. 

“Do you want me to do a feint?” You asked.

Feint. Simulation. Deception. A tactic that is common in chess, whereby a player suggests a certain intention to the opponent, in order to provoke a predictable and mistaken reaction in him, which can be exploited. If you were understanding, Sukuna was going to pretend to spy when the real spy would be you. 

“Exactly. Infiltrate among them and find out as much as you can.”

You leaned back in the padded seat of the carriage, letting the soft fabric cushion the accumulated load. Through the window, you watched the imposing rocky city unfold before your eyes, its buildings standing like scars carved into the base of the gigantic volcano that dominated the horizon. In the streets, civilians stopped to watch the parade of knights advancing with martial grace towards the exit of the city, their armor resonating with the rhythm of their steps.

The carriage rocked on the uneven stones of the road, and you closed your eyes, letting yourself be carried away by that sway. In the distance, curses conversed among themselves, their voices muffled by the distance, but you weren’t hearing them. You were lost in your thoughts. How could you approach the sorcerers so naturally? A lightbulb went off in your head. You opened your eyes decisively and, without hesitation, you took off your engagement ring.

“What are you doing?” Sukuna asked you, offended.

“No one will believe me that I am on the sorcerers’ side if they see me with the ring on. It screams that I am on your side.” You took one of his hands to place the ring on his palm. “It would be better if we continue pretending that I am your slave. That way, the sorcerers might feel sorry for me and open up.” You explained.

“It’s not a bad idea.” Sukuna nodded, putting the ring in his pocket.

“Just promise me something,” you asked him.

You subtly scoot over, getting closer to him, letting each movement seem casual, even though it was perfectly calculated. Your hand rested lightly on his thigh, the tips of your fingers barely brushing his skin through the fabric, and then slowly ascended to his chest, a gesture as gentle as it was provocative. Heat rose to the king's cheeks, tinting them a crimson that contrasted with the innocence carefully sculpted in your gaze. It was that combination, the perfect balance between the pure and the temptation, that managed to disarm him. Under your touch, the king, with all his imposing authority, seemed to melt, trapped in the spell you had created.

"Whatever you want," Sukuna whispered to you because of the closeness you had created.

"Grant me just one dance. It's all I want," you asked.

"Of course."

You gave him a tender smile before gently clinging to his arm, resting your cheek against it in a gesture full of intimacy. You knew the journey would be long, and the idea of ​​a nap seemed like the best way to kill some time. Sukuna stroked your hair in response. As your eyelids slowly drifted shut, he settled back into the seat, preparing to rest as well.

Night fell as the caravan entered the shadowy Forest of Curses. The ranks of Curses marched in a military cadence, led by Commander Hanami, whose experience and knowledge of the field guided them precisely through a pre-arranged route. Further back, Mahito moved between the ranks with his team, making sure everything went smoothly. In the royal carriage, Kenjaku stood by the driver, watchful and ready in case the king or his fiancée ever needed anything.

Hanami led the curses through long grasslands and along the hills to minimize wear and tear. Huge pine trees covered the foothills, where some wild curses lurked from the shadows of dense branches. Unlike the curses under the iron grip of the kingdom of New Sukuna, these creatures renounced any regime. They were primitive beasts, guided only by basic instincts and an absolute disdain for order. Their eyes glittered in the shadows, but for now, the parade continued uninterrupted.

“It’s so quiet,” Mahito commented with a smile as he reached Kenjaku’s side.

“Don’t jinx it,” Kenjaku scolded him.

“That’s a human thing,” Mahito shrugged, downplaying it.

“Bad luck can strike anyone,” the teacher told him wisely.

Mahito stopped at the side of the road, allowing the line of caravans to continue moving forward. He took advantage of the moment to immerse himself in the stillness of nature. The night wind caressed his long hair, crickets sang from afar, leaves shone with an almost ethereal glow. His eyes with heterochromia snapped open as he realized.

A war cry tore through the tranquility, reverberating like an alarm bell. Sukuna woke up immediately, thanks to his sharp reflexes. You were barely opening your eyes, still trapped between sleep and confusion, when he suddenly pulled you, making you fall to the floor of the carriage. An instant later, arrows of blood violently stuck in the ceiling, just a few centimeters from where you had been seconds before. Adrenaline coursed through your body, clearing away any trace of sleep. You were being ambushed.

“Stay here and don’t move,” Sukuna ordered you before exiting the carriage at lightning speed to assist his army.

The cries of war and pain intertwined in a heart-wrenching echo that seemed to envelop everything. You had no idea what was happening outside the carriage, but one thing was clear: you had to be ready to face it. You made your way to your bow and quiver, which rested by the door, but before you could reach them, a new volley of arrows stuck hard into the wood, blocking your way. A muffled cry escaped your lips as you backed away. Staying in the carriage was not an option if they continued to aim there. With shaking hands, you grabbed the scratched bow and damaged quiver, pushing open the door before launching yourself into the cold darkness outside.

The chaos that greeted you was more visceral than you had imagined. The army of curses was facing a group of sorcerers who manipulated blood with terrifying mastery. You had never witnessed anything so brutal. The scene was a crimson spectacle, an indistinguishable mix of the use of blood as a weapon and lethal wounds that ended curses. The sorcerers, dressed in white suits and black cloaks, fought with fierce intensity, as if this battle were the last act of their lives. In the midst of the war, Sukuna, Mahito, Kenjaku and Hanami fought with their unique and devastating styles, cutting through the enemies with the same mastery that defined them.

Instinct drove you to run towards the hill, seeking shelter among the trees, where you could shoot from a safer position. Memories of that terrible day of hunting awakened in your body, guiding you as you quickly climbed. Once hidden among the shadows of the pines, you pulled a pink arrow from your quiver, locking it on your bow with mechanical precision. Your arms were placed in a perfect T-position as you searched for a target. Through the confusion, you saw a sorceress facing Hanami. Without hesitation, you set your sights on it, drawing the string taut ready to fire. But just as you were about to release the arrow, a firm, unfamiliar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You have a terrible posture.”

A pair of blood arrows grazed your sides, sticking between the sleeves of your dress, causing you to lose your balance and fall to the ground. As soon as you looked up, a middle-aged man fell on you. His hands were in front of him, palms perfectly pressed together, ready to finish you off. He was too close for you to counterattack with your arrows. Everyone was busy, the chances of someone saving you were zero. Maybe you should have stayed in the carriage. You closed your eyes, waiting for the blow, but it never came.

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” The man asked you curiously.

You opened your eyes and your attacker was mere centimeters from your face. You yelped in surprise at having him so close. You frowned as you processed the question he had asked you. He didn’t look familiar to you. He looked like an average man like Wasuke. Black hair with gray growing on the sides, a mustache that was barely growing, wrinkles that told the story of his life and a comfortable white yukata with a black cape over his shoulders.

“No, I don’t think so…” You answered in a whisper.

“Oh, well,” he said before pointing his hands at you. He was about to shoot a blood arrow until an order cut through the wind.

“Retreat!” A younger voice shouted.

“Saved by my son, how lucky.” The man joked before running off towards the hill. “Your hands are in the wrong position!” He advised you as the arrows that nailed you to the ground turned to liquid and followed him quickly through the air.

The pack of sorcerers, around twenty, fled in terror through the hills, but not all of them managed to escape. Here and there, some unfortunate one fell, his head separating from his body in a violent flash. Instead of pausing to mourn the loss of their comrades, however, the sorcerers manipulated the spilled blood, collecting what they could before continuing their escape. “What a strange technique,” ​​you thought, unable to look away from the grotesque skill.

You picked yourself up off the ground once the sorcerers disappeared into the shadows of the night. As quickly as they had come, they were gone. You looked down at your bow, frowning in bewilderment. “Is my posture that bad?” you mused, offended by your apparent inability to shoot when it was crucial.

Back at the caravans, the magnitude of the disaster hit you like an icy wave. Half the curse army was gone. A small group of sorcerers, barely a fraction of the size of their ranks, had been able to annihilate over a hundred curses in a matter of minutes. It was a display of power that was as terrifying as it was impressive.

Mahito and Hanami worked frantically to reorganize the remaining troops, their voices echoing among the survivors as they tried to restore a sense of order to them. Sukuna and Kenjaku watched, from a distance, their presences as imposing as ever, despite the partial defeat.

“Those Kamo idiots, they always come at the worst time,” Sukuna muttered.

“It seems they just wanted to kill as many curses as possible before you cut off the first head,” Kenjaku theorized about the attack. Sukuna ignored him when he saw you with the bow over your body and your sleeves torn.

“Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing your arms to inspect you closely. “They didn’t do anything weird to you or take any of your blood, right?” Sukuna looked at you, concerned for your well-being.

“I’m fine, they just scared me, that’s all,” you replied.

"That's why I told you to stay in the carriage!".

"Speaking of the carriage…". Kenjaku pointed at the vehicle for them to see.

The grand royal carriage that once looked so imperial and sophisticated, was now riddled with holes from the hundreds of arrows that pierced it and had its wheels completely destroyed, leaving only the king without a vehicle. A direct message of hatred towards him.

"Stupid Kamo," Sukuna growled.

The next two days you spent them in the cargo cart, a rolling box full of supplies and cursed weapons, designed for the impending conflict that everyone feared would erupt at the Zen'in ball. You sat on the floor, surrounded by sacks of meat and blades wrapped in cloth, feeling every jolt of the vehicle as a reminder of the uneven road and the tension that grew with each mile traveled.

While you rode in the chariot, Sukuna led the army from the front, walking with the determination of someone who knew his place was where he could be seen by his soldiers, instilling fear and respect in equal parts. He preferred the firmness of the ground beneath his feet to the confines of a regular chariot, even if the journey was long and tiring.

Finally, after two endless days of jolting and silence broken only by the creaking of the wheels, the carriage abruptly stopped, almost throwing you forward. Before you could react, a curse quickly opened the door, letting in a different air.

“We have arrived, young lady,” the curse announced.

You got out of the vehicle and saw that you were on top of a hill, hidden among the trees so that no one would notice the presence of a hundred curses. You walked among the leafy trees with curiosity until you came across an impressive image. In front of you, was the most beautiful place you have ever seen in your life. A large castle located on top of a hill, surrounded by a medieval city. The castle had multiple towers and defensive walls, built with natural and resistant stone, that gave it an ancient appearance. A river partially surrounded the hill. The soft light of the sunset bathed the scene, highlighting the most precise details.

The memory of Sukuna wanting to conquer those lands made you a little sad. Everything was too beautiful for him to come and snatch it out of their hands, like he had with the Jogo kingdom. You didn't think curses kept the city as intact as that. You weren't sure if you could do anything about it, but you would try.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Kenjaku came to your side.

"Yes, very much so."

"But not as beautiful as the dress the king ordered for you," he reminded you to get ready for the big ball that night.

"I'm ready." You said before taking his arm to lead you to where you could get ready for the night. Whatever would happen, would happen, but you would be ready for it. This would be a good night.

Masterlist.

taglist:

Tag list: @bbnbhm @pxnellian @kbirdieee2540 @konigswifeyforlifey @kyo-kyo1 @calico-cheriies @imas1mpp @alone-the-honored-one @vlads-dracula3 @bigraga-sk @neeke-lilac02 @shaazd @airandyeah @energiepie @awkward-walking-potato @delightfully-studying @catobsessedlady @danniwerner @paradisestarfishh

(let me know if you want to be tagged in next chapters!)

[cedar-sunshine]

writer intro!

making a real one this time! I'll probably pin this one haha

Me!

My name is Sunny, I use he/they pronouns primarily, and I'm a queer writer. I'm 15, AuDHD, and a little chronically in pain. If you're reading this, tell me to drink water and stop doom scrolling so I can actually write like I want to, please

What I write!

I mostly write fantasy, although it very much ranges from urban to high and all the in betweens. My main WIP, Star, is technically not fantasy, but it IS apocalyptic, which is my second favorite genre. Technically, everything I write has an element of romance or is a romance, but the romance is never the forefront of the plot and is rarely only romantic (aroace romance writer time).

My current WIPs are

Star, a post-apocalyptic queer romance starring Mental Health Boy and Mental Health Boy #2. It's atmospheric and deals with a lot of Things. I like it a lot! It's my main WIP and I have the most done in it, the cast includes Tristan and Orion. I've described it as grumpy x sunshine vs cult and that's still accurate. It's my longest running piece and if u follow me for it I PROMISE I won't abandon it. I haven't done it for years anyways

Science fiction Australia situation! 100 criminals get (consentually) sent to a superhabitable planet to prepare it for a human colony, the trip should take 150 years but something goes wrong and they end up making an emergency landing (read: aimed crash) on a smaller habitable planet leaving only 9 alive of the original 100. And humanity's already forgotten about them after nearly 120 years, so... found family queer bullshit, I think a majority of the characters aren't fully human including 1 squid person with bright colors, weird eyes, transparent skin and very strange hair, 1 robot made of pieces of magnetic metal so small they're basically magnetic fluid, 1 Guy with synthetic parts and a cool tail, 1 mildly mad scientist-esque dude that can only be described as if a person was a seal with maned wolf hardware, lots of microplants around a natural frame who is a hacker and diplomat, a mix between a fossa/civet type thing and a human, and a Guy with cool ears and a non-human genetic disease. Only two people bit don't worry they're cool too (autistic mechanic who likes engineering more than people and space pirate emo boy with a lot of grief and anger at the System, plus some symbiotic friends). Most likely includes a polycule because I can't choose who should be dating who (if you have an opinion, look for my poll a while ago)

[making-a-killing]

"The K in hippocratic oath stands for Kimiko, now please stop questioning the syringe of fluid in ny hand. I promise it's good for you."

Character details:

Letter: K

Code name: Kimura

True name: Kimiko Kujo

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 17

Birthdate: March 21

Orientation: Bisexual

Home country: Japan

Likes: lizards, microbiology, helping people she deems "worthy"

Dislikes: horror films, minimalist decor, "difficult persons"

Extra: K arrived at Wammys fairly young and had been pursuing a medical career prior to the L program. Her parents were both doctors and died in a lab accident while working on a top secret infectious disease program. K had been given extensive private schooling and was far above any other child her age. Subsequently, Mr. Wammy, who had been good friends with her parents, brought her to Wammys House so she could continue her studies. K genuinely believes in the Wammys House system and L program, even though she is not at all considered a proper successor. Brilliant and loyal as she may be she is headstrong in her sense of justice and should never be left alone in a lab.

Appearance:

Hair color: Light brown, long and straight, often kept in a tight bun or pony tail but occasionally let down

Eye color: Black

Skin tone: Warm beige

Height: 5'7 (170cm)

Weight: 120-130lbs (54-59kg)

Fashion sense: Extremely formal. Usually wears black or white and rarely dresses in color but typically wears muted blues or greens. Often wears her lab coat around during busy weeks.

Extra: Sometimes wears a small peice of jewelry, but nothing to flashy. Her appearance is fairly sterile overall.

(=Rules under cut=)

Mun:

The man behind the muse is @artificial-ascension

That's my main personal blog and everything about me is in the pinned post. If you don't feel like going there:

Michael

19

He/they

My other rp blog is @fairweather-fangs I made a separate blog for my other muse because I like theming my blogs

Activity:

I am very active on Tumblr and try to be here

If I have alot of asks or RPs going on at once it may take a while to get to all of them, but trust me I do see everything.

I may get writers block for some things but I will try to get around to everything.

I'm very open about what I'm working on so if you have questions or concerns feel free to message me. If for whatever reason I will not be responding to your ask/response I will inform you

I'm in the Eastern U.S. but may be active anywhere from 5am (my time) at the earliest to 3am at th latest. (I have a terrible sleep schedule) However I am mich less likely to be writing or responding super late or super early. I may also be late to things if I'm away from my phone because I do that sometimes

Rules:

I don't mind most things, if you feel like you need permission to do something to K I almost certainly don't care

K often goes by Kimiko and her full name is probably available if you dig enough. If you're character is willing to find it they're free to use her real name.

NSFW is very much allowed but I require you to be 18+ for sexual material. Otherwise go crazy.

I don't like writing much... you wouldn't be able to tell because I'm quite long winded...

Really just try and not speak for K. That's my job, also I may do so on my other rp blog, but most K will go here.

And also don't be a dick. I try to be friendly but I don't fuck with any sort of bigotry in or out of character. And don't be rude to me I'll block you. I came here to have fun.

Trigger warnings: Comically absurd medical malpractice?? There's not alot here, pretty much just the average edgy wammys rp here.

Rules and warnings to be expanded upon as things come up. I'm new here.

[kadavernagh]

[pm] You think everything is debatable. Except for Metzli. Very well.

La Sauce is a pit of ooze in the woods. The museum houses specimens that were pulled out of it, and it seems to beautifully preserve them. Like ice age animals that were trapped in glaciers. Did you read about that lion cub that was found? I would like to have it.

Oh, bog bodies! They're captivating. I have always hoped to see one. They are cadavers that have been preserved in the anaerobic, acidic, and cold conditions that are found in peat bogs. You would think with all of the moors around Saol Eile, I would have been able to acquire some, but they're quite rare. Found with clothes, skin... the bones are typically in poor shape, but the preservation of soft tissue is unrivaled. They could be autopsied, you know. To have my fingers in one would be... and some have been found with injuries, clear causes of death, diseases... intricate details etched into their flesh for centuries. I will see one, someday. I will find one. What? No. I like when you look at m

"Feelings"? I don't particularly like the word, but it's rather unavoidable in English. Though, come to think of it, I don't know the word in Gaeilge. The banshees did not use it.

Because you told me you asked them to contact you if they need help. They are not going to harm you, Jade. They would allow you to I could have them promise it, too, if that... helps. They would.

Oh... I'm impressed you can decide such a thing. Most humans can't self-regulate like that.

No, it's just an objectively ugly name. Is there a Chad I should be aware of?

[pm] Mmm, debatable. Nope, no suggestions needed. It should be something that makes me think of you, your input is unnecessary.

The decedents are sensitive. Yup, mhm. Um, two questions. What's La Sauce? And what's a bog body? I'm trying to gauge how offended I should be. Yup, you don't like me seeing you, I know this.

No, no... my heart is moist, not my mind. You know, where feelings are? (Are you one of those people who hates that word, btw? I don't get it, it's just a word)

Sometimes all I can do when you speak is -_- This is one of those times. So when are you gonna show me your...

Uh-huh. And you're good with them contacting me... cause? Right... but you're cool with letting me chill with a dangerous vampire having no means to defend myself. Got it. That feels nice! I love it :)

Yup, will do. Gonna take care of my damp little heart. I'm not pissed off anymore, I've decided. For how long? That's up to you. Baby, you don't have to try <3 It comes naturally, you're so talented. I will keep it in mind... for other times.

Is Bláthnaid like, the Chad of banshees or something? What's wrong with it?

[nemilemy]

“Flowers for you.”

Tw : mentions of blood and death (please don't read of uncomfortable with such things)

Kaoru x Reader (Angst🥀)

It was a normal day in yumenosakigakuen highschool , you were simply walking to the place you and Kaoru hang out at with a bento in hand. As you reached your destination your eyes couldn't believe it as your boyfriend the one you love so much is so close your best friend Anzu. How horrible must it be so watch your boyfriend corner your best friend like does to you. As you witnessed this scene you coughed up petals with blood in your hand not grabbing the attention of them you simply looked at your hand in horror as you ran away to the bathroom.

As days went by you avoided Kaoru as much as you could for he made it all worse with that smile of his. You didn't seem to understand the meaning of this illness. Was it deadly? Was it harmless? You questioned in your head as your classmates saw how your situation got worse and worse day by day making all of them worried sick , especially Anzu. Kaoru didn't seem to understand why you avoided him or why your body became even more pale as the days went on. Did he do something wrong? It then hit him about the dare he was given by his classmates.

The next day he tried to have some alone time with you so that he could explain everything to you but to his avail this time you weren't at school , so he went to your house after school worried you were sick but to his horror you were on the floor coughing up flower petals with a massive amount of blood on the floor , skin pale as ever , you noticed Kaoru looking at you with a worried face but it only made your situation worse , the more you remembered that scenario , the more it got worse soon enough you blacked out with Kaoru rushing you to the hospital. "Doctor please please help her!! I can't lose her..!" Kaoru pleaded as the only thing the doctor could do was sigh and feel pity. "Sir can't you understand? Your girlfriend here has the Hanahaki disease which is quite rare and there's a 50% chance she might die before she even gets a chance to speak. Who knows how long she has gotten this? But the only thing i can say is you have to do something before the flowers have grown too large in the lungs." The doctor said as Kaoru looked at room you were in he regretted everything he has done for you to get this. He mutters a small sorry but he knows you won't hear it and then turns back to the doctor asking how to get you better , he would sacrifice anything for you because after all these years you've spent with him is enough to tell him that you're the one for him.

"Perhaps by a true love kiss those always help no?" The nurse by the doctor's side told as the doctor sighed. "But it'll be of no use if the girl does not feel the same. And it's either that or a surgery but be careful because it has consequences sir." The doctor warned as Kaoru thought about it. 'does she even love me back after everything I've done..?'. Can I atleast visit her first?" He asked as the doctor nodded leading him to the room before wishing Kaoru goodluck. As Kaoru saw your horrible condition he could only feel a large disappointment weighing on his shoulder as he couldn't help but blame himself for everything he has done to you.

"(_) I'm sorry for everything I've done i promise i really do love you alot!" He weeped as you just gave him a weak smile before saying your "last words" to him as he cried even more "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME (_) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.... please you're the only one who's stayed with me hick. You're the one for me I love you please..." He mustered with all the emotions he felt right now as the machine started beeping as you had a hard time breathing.The doctors came in before anything else happened as Kaoru got out of the room. After a couple of minutes the doctor before came out and said "I'm sorry sir but we couldn't save her." They said as Kaoru got down in his knees in pain and regret.

It seems the flower of your life has wilted a bit too fast for him now all you can do is watch him in pain and mere suffering as his consequence. Petals from beautiful flowers came down as coughed it up with blood. This was his punishment.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

I literally wrote this for fun in 2 am how did this turn into a goddamn angst scenario istg writing gets the best of me not that I'm complaining yanno. Istg this isn't my best tho💔

[coolfoxy4]

Okay so here's some of the characters in Don't Starve I've made into an urban legend that may or may not be good, I'll try to update on their stories and the names of the urban legend! (These are drafts, also please don't get offended about the Warly and Walani stories!)

Trigger Warning

Wilson (Dr. Animal): A man who has respect for others but he saw way too many people being disrespectful and went mad (I have to think he inhaled too much mercury, cause he's a scientist and back then people didn't know about the affects of mercury), and the voices in his head tell him to turn people into what they are... Animals, he uses random animal parts and does a surgery by replacing certain limbs with animal parts (like arms or legs), pieces of skin, and finally cutting their tongues off and sewing an animal's head on them (disturbing i know). He then carves a word on their backs, "Animals".

Willow (Mother Fire): A young woman who uses fire to kill someone who abuses a child in anyway, especially parents. If it's just one she burns them alive, if it's both parents she burns the house down and takes any children present with her to an abandoned village where nobody knew existed. She'll follow a child if she notices any form of abuse and follows them to their home to watch the family, if it's someone else, they'll still get killed (idk if I should add the charcoal thing, if you see a piece of charcoal on your nightstand or bed, she's coming, and she wants you to turn yourself in or change your ways, if you don't... Death).

Wolfgang (The War Ghost): He died in WWI from gas leaking in his gas mask because his right eye on the mask got shattered and was put out of his misery. He came back as a ghost and will break your bones if you don't leave the battlefields. There will be rare occasions if the person finds him sleeping... If they tried to wake him, he'll wake up and punch them in the jaw, dislocating it, before running away as like it was some sort of instinct.

Wendy and Abigail (Weeping Twins): Wendy ended her life when Abigail died because they promised to be together forever. Their weepings can be heard by some people, if someone disrespects the dead they'll haunt and drive that person insane until they apologize or die from suicide. She will even sometimes put the person into sleep paralysis just to scare the living daylights out of them.

Wigfrid (Steel Teeth Singer): a opera singer trapped in her own world dies by the hands of a robber who had drained her of her blood, she came back from the dead as a vampire with steel sharp teeth, no one knows how she got her steel teeth, some versions of the story said her kidnapper forcefully removed her teeth and replaced them with steel. At midnight she killed her kidnapper and buried him in her yard. She resigns in her house, if anyone were to trespass on her property, she'll give them a warning, then tell them to leave. If they were to enter the house, then she'll attack them and drain them of their blood. She mostly feeds on the blood of farm animals but her favorite is humans blood, she'll put victims in a trance by singing her song and lure them into her home where she drains their blood.

Wes (The Hunger Mime): Wes died of hunger when someone kidnapped him and tormented him, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Before his death, he swore revenge and wishes to come back as a unstoppable spirit. After he came back from the dead he immediately killed his tormentor by cutting open his belly and eating his stomach. He now hunts for animals and eats crops from farms, if anyone doesn't have any food on them or a someone interrupts him while he's eating, he'll eat their stomachs. Children are spared however, if they're lost in the forest he lives in, he'll take them back to their parents and give them a balloon and it is said if the child gave the Hunger Mime a hug, they'll receive good luck in the future.

Warly (Chef of Flesh): Warly was kidnapped by a group who practices slavery to gain goods and riches. He tried many times to escape to see his mother again but he would always get caught and punished for it. One of these punishments killed him, a ceremony was made to put his spirit to rest, but it wasn't completed due to it being interrupted by the slave owner, Warly came back as a tall Bakroe and killed the slave owners. Warly now roams the earth looking for people in a hate group, any hate group, and turn them into a pot filled with their flesh and blood, he carries a bag filled with items need to make for his bloody stew. He'll change his voice into a voice of a child to trick his victims, he doesn't feel any kind of pain, though fire can be used to scare him and do any damage to him, he has enough strength to carry an adult human.

Walani (The Siren of Hawaii): She died during a surfing contest when she was challenged by a man known for his big ego, he thought he would win by pushing her off her surfboard. Unfortunately, when he pushed her, Walani ended up falling on a rock, causing her head to split open, the onlookers tried to save her... But it was too late... She was dead. Two days later she came back as a Mo'o´s, or what others call... a siren. She lives in a sea cave and would often leave and take her human form to look for her prey, which consists mostly of men, she would take on a disguise and go to bars or parties to find her victim, once she does she tricks them and takes them to the shore and feasts on them. She would use the song of the siren to trick fishermen into crashing their boats or go overboard, on rare cases she can also trick people strolling on the beach at night to go in the water where they become her target.

Here's how I came up with these ideas:

Wilson going mad was based on how hat makers would get Mad Hatter's Disease because of the mercury in the hats they were producing (look it up to learn more about it).

Willow's icon shows burning houses in the background, she probably did that on purpose when she saw how the kids were being treated in the DST lore.

Wolfgang is said to serve in a war and I saw a scene where a guy loses his mask and was almost put out of his misery when he accidentally inhaled the gas (it was a WWI movie).

Wendy and Abigail... I like to think Wendy respects the dead and there's grave robbers out there and she would definitely scare them.

Wigfrid's legend was based on Scotland's urban legend called Jenny Wi' The Airn (or Iron) Teeth, a vampire that has iron for teeth.

Wes has bad luck and is hungry all the time, that's it... (I'm sorry for making him monster guys, I know you love him).

Warly was based on a Bakroe, I heard about it on one of Snarled's videos, watch it.

And finally Walani's legend was based on Mo'o´s, In Hawaiian folklore, if a person passes away, they could come back in a form of a Mo'o´s, a mermaid/siren/selkie that seduce men and drown them (I got this info from fairychamber.com, her urban legend wasn't based on the dragon urban legend)

Mother Fire

Hunger Mime

(Should I even attempt making the spirits of his victims be turned into hunger bellies or is it just stupid?)

Don't Starve Belongs to Klei Entertainment

[wickedbarnes]

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not | John Wick x Reader

PROMPT: Hanahaki Disease AU! Reader realizes she's in love with John but John, on the other hand, can't reciprocate the feelings because he's still in love with Helen. And so, reader begins to cough blood red rose petals...

WARNING: Major angst. Blood. Get your tissues ready.

NOTE: This is my take on the fictional disease so please don't attack me if some of the concepts of it is wrong. I just did it so there would be more impact to the story. An explanation for my take on the Hanahaki will be provided down below at the end of the oneshot to avoid any confusions. Other than that, please enjoy!

--

If there was one thing you hated doing, it was breaking promises. And you rarely did it unless it was really necessary. But you hated it when you did. And this... this was a promise you swore you would never break. But here you were, staring down at your bloody palm, examining the rose petals that stuck to your skin.

A lone tear cascaded down your cheek as you wiped the blood from your lips.

It finally got to you. The disease. The same disease that had killed your beloved Mother. And you were sure it was the same one that was going to kill you.

You vividly remembered how your Mother would gush about how beautiful love was. How magical it is and how you'd feel as if you were floating when you experienced it. And in a way, she has a point. But not everything was easy.

Because along with love comes pain. The pain of a broken heart. And as you grew up you realized that love was only beautiful when it was reciprocated. When the person you love is in love with you as well. But like your mom, you weren't so lucky.

You had no one but John now. When your Mother died of the Hanahaki Disease, you swore- vowed, rather, that you would never fall in love. But that was, until John.

The moment you saw the man, you could tell just how miserable he seemed but there was something about him that just drew you in. He charmed women without even noticing it. And so you did the unthinkable and was bold enough to go ask him what drink he wanted and that it was on you.

You worked as a bartender in the Red Circle. And when you spotted John you had no idea what type of man he was and what type of world he lives in. But even after that, you didn't care. You still stuck with him.

And you didn't even plan on doing so. You just wanted to give the man something to look forward to. Something to give him a little boost. But when chaos broke and you were almost shot by Viggo's men, John was brave enough to catch the bullet himself before the rest of them ran out thinking they had finally killed the Baba Yaga.

That night, you couldn't just leave him there dying. You had insisted he goes to the hospital but he told you not to and instructed you to take him to the Continental. The hotel where you didn't even know housed assassins like him. You didn't know why but you had stayed with him the whole while he was being patched up despite the fact he kept telling you to leave because it would be dangerous.

But the stubborn person you are, you decided to stay. And the rest was history from there.

You felt it creep up on you. You could tell because you felt the same itch in your throat that didn't seem to go away ever since your feelings for John got stronger. But the moment you realized you were in love with him, fate had finally decided to give you a sign that the feelings you have for the man just wasn't mutual.

And in a way, you kind of understood why. The wedding band on John's finger was proof of that. It was the proof of his undying love for his late wife, Helen. Who were you to compete with that?

The whole situation caused you to let a laugh under your breath. How ironic. John Wick never intends on hurting you. And yet here he was, being the reason why you're ill today.

---

"Y/N, you need to rest, you've been coughing all day and you don't look too good. I can handle it from here." John tried to approach you but you instinctively moved away from him and sat down on the couch yourself. Your reaction took him aback but he quickly regained his composure and sat down next to you but made sure to give you some distance.

You were pretty sure the handkerchief you were coughing into was full of blood by now and you prayed no petal would fall off or it would only worry John even more. You suspected he knows about the disease as well.

Day by day, it was getting hard for you to breathe. You knew the plant inside your lungs was growing and every night you had battled and hoped it wouldn't be your last night. Even sleeping had come to terrify you. You were afraid you wouldn't wake up anymore.

"Y/N, are you alright? You're not telling me what's going on, I have to know so I can take care of you." John would say, concern written all over his face and your heart ached at the sight because you knew he only meant that as a friend.

"I'm fine, John, I'll be okay I told you it's just allergies." You sighed and stood up to get a glass of water when you felt the familiar itch on your throat creeping up again. But the moment you took a step forward, you leaned forward and began to heave as you wretched out blood along with rose petals on John's floor.

You somehow felt embarrassed but your body fell on the floor as you kept throwing up blood. John was almost sure he would've had a heart attack with what he saw. He immediately went over to you and rubbed your back, panic beginning to creep up in his body.

This was like when Helen was ill.

When you were finished throwing up, you opened your mouth to apologize but you found yourself going limp and passing out in John's arms.

John looked at the blood and rose petals that were smeared all over his floor. The realization hit him like a truck as his face began to go pale. He looked down at your unconscious body in horror.

"Y/N, what the hell..."

---

John couldn't even fathom looking at you like this. Pale and sickly looking. He hadn't noticed just how much you had lost weight and how horrible the bags under your eyes looked. You were always with him but he was too caught up in work that he barely had time to see how his friend was doing.

He knew about the Hanahaki disease. John remembered how someone in Ruska Roma died because of it. But he never expected you to get it.

The assassin pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back against the uncomfortable plastic chair. Who the hell were you in love with? You had never mentioned anyone from work that caught your eye. Nor did you introduce anyone to John. The idea of someone being the root of all this caused him to clench his fists until his knuckles turned white.

Whoever it was that didn't love you back, John was sure he was going to get a piece of his damn mind.

John's thoughts were cut off when the doctor came in and greeted him with a polite smile. When he looked at Y/N's records, the doctor let out a sigh and John knew this wasn't a good sign.

"Does she have family?" The doctor, Dr. Mercer had asked to which John responded by shaking his head no.

"I'm the only one she has now." Dr. Mercer nodded.

"Mr. Wick, I'm gonna be honest. Miss Y/L/N is in critical condition. The amount of blood that she threw up was very alarming. I'm sure you're aware of the Hanahaki Disease?" John nodded solemnly at the question and never took his eyes off you.

"Well, the plant inside her lungs is growing more and more. And it won't be long until it fully suffocates her. Looking at her x-rays right here, you can see that the plant is almost corrupting her lungs fully." Dr. Mercer showed your x-ray scan to John to which he took carefully and it only made the situation even real.

Was he going to lose another important person in his life? He already lost Helen and Daisy. He only has Dog now. Could he really lose you, too?

"Is there a cure to this?"

"There is. But... both of them aren't as easy as they sound." John looked up at the doctor with a confused look causing Dr. Mercer to sigh.

"In order to cure the patient, the person she's in love with has to love her back. And I don't mean platonic love. I mean, real genuine love. If that doesn't work, then we can surgically remove the root of the plant from her lungs."

John perked up at the mention of surgical removal of the plant. Obviously, whoever this person is didn't love you enough to even cure you. John felt that option two was the only logical option left. Or else, you'd die.

"I think I'd like the plant to be surgically removed from her."

"Mr. Wick, I think the patient has to decide for that. Because even though it could cure her, it would erase everything she felt and remembered about the person. Once the operation is done and successful, that person never existed for her. And unfortunately, Y/N here would be stripped away of the ability to experience romantic love. The removal of the root will cause that as well."

John couldn't believe what he was hearing. Y/N won't experience romantic love anymore? He looked at your frail body and put a hand over his face. He'd heard Dr. Mercer excuse himself but all John could think of was how he was going to save you.

He doesn't want you to live up your life not knowing how it feels to be in love and be loved by the person you're in love with. But if you don't do anything about this, you'd be six feet underground and time was slowly running out.

John's thoughts abruptly stopped when he noticed you waking up from a deep sleep. You had been out of it for about fourteen hours.

You fluttered your eyes open and took in your surroundings. Your throat felt really dry and you could use a tall drink of water. Looking around, your eyes soon fell on John who stood up from his chair and smiled softly down at you.

Your heart fluttered at how beautiful he is. You almost mistook him for an angel.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked softly and brushed away some of your hair away from your face. His touch sent shivers down your spine and in a way, it hurt for him to be here. He was so gentle and patient. Was he like that with Helen? Or was he even more loving when it came to her?

"Like death." You laughed softly as you averted your eyes to the glass of water that was sitting on the table beside your bed, "Can I get a drink, please?"

John immediately took the glass of water and helped you sit up from your bed so you could drink. You were dehydrated from the amount of blood you just threw up hours ago. John gently patted your head when he saw that you drank all of the water from the glass.

"Good girl." He'd praise you and your heart swelled at it but it made you cough a bit.

John sat back down on the plastic chair but brought it closer by your bed as he looked at you in the eye.

"Y/N, who did this to you?" He asked. It took you about a minute to figure out what he was on about. And then you remembered the disease. Your situation probably took a turn for the worse and you assumed what had happened earlier almost scared John to death.

"Y/N." John sighed. "You're one of my most trusted friend. The only friend I probably trust with my whole life, really. But you need to tell me what the fuck is going on. You're dying, honey, and someone is the cause of all this and it's frustrating that I don't know who it is."

It's you, you wanted to say but the words didn't come out the way you wanted them to. You didn't want to see the look on John's face when you laid out the truth. Even now, on the verge of death, you were afraid of what he'd think. You knew he has a lot on his plate and he's just getting the chance to finally grieve for Helen. You didn't want nor had the heart to tell him that he's the reason why you're dying.

"It's no one, John, he-" You pursed your lips and let out a breath as you looked down at your hands that were slightly stained with your own blood, "He went away he- he loves someone else and that's all you need to know."

John nodded and although he was frustrated you didn't tell him everything, you knew it was just because you didn't wanna dive back into the fact that this person didn't reciprocate the feelings you felt. So he understood.

"Y/N, Dr. Mercer gave me two options so you could be cured and he-"

"John, I can't be cured, he doesn't love me." You said firmly and it felt so different saying it in front of him like this when he has no idea it was him all along that you were in love with.

"I know, darling, I know." He grabbed your hand comfortingly and you almost hated him for acting like this when all along you knew it was just platonic. You were just a friend to him. Nothing more and nothing less.

"But then he told me about option two. Option two is that you can get the plant surgically removed from your lungs." You perked up at hearing this.

You never knew it could get surgically removed. Your mother never told you. So why didn't she do it?

"W-What? What do you mean I can get it surgically removed?" You asked as tears began to fill your eyes but John was patient enough to talk you through it.

"You can, it's possible. But it's not that easy, Y/N." He let out another sigh before looking up at your tear filled eyes, "When the operation is successful, all the memories you have of that person will be gone. Including your feelings for him. It was like he never existed. Apart from that, once the plant is removed from your body, you ability to experience romantic love wouldn't be there anymore."

Tears cascaded down your cheeks. Not because you wouldn't be able to fall in love again. But because the thought of forgetting John scared you so much. Were you going to remember him again? Can he reintroduce himself again to you? Or should you not go through with option two?

At that moment, you finally realized why your mother never had the plant inside her get removed. It was far more painful than anything else.

---

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jonathan." Winston would say as he poured a drink for the assassin and John just nodded at him in thanks.

"Some things are beyond our control." John replied as he took a big gulp of his drink. He needed it right now after all.

He just came back from the hospital and that was the first time in a while John had felt so overwhelmed. The hatred he had for himself just increased a ton.

You decided to go through with the operation after giving it a deep thought for a the whole day. John was happy. Although you weren't able to experience romantic love anymore, he assured you he'd be by your side every step of the way. Just like you had been for him.

But what came next almost made him collapse down to his knees.

Aurelio decided to pay you a little visit when your operation was done. He had found out about what had happened from John and you knew the man well enough that he could give you discounts whenever your car had problems.

When it was time for visitors, John felt ecstatic. You were alive. He wasn't losing someone important from him again. When they got inside the room, you had already woken up and had a nurse slowly help you sit up from your bed but the moment your eyes fell on John, he noticed the slight confusion written on your face.

"Y/N, God, I'm so happy the operation was successful." John smiled and tucked a piece of your hair and he noticed how your body stilled from the touch as you looked up at him with wide eyes.

Thhe reaction was weird but John brushed it off and thought that maybe, it was a side effect from the pain killers you'd been taking.

"Aurelio's here and brought you some stuff. You like those cookies from the bakery near his shop, right?" You found yourself nodding slowly at the man's question even though you had no idea who he is.

Who was he? And how does he know your name? How did he know you liked those chocolate chip cookies from that bakery near Aurelio's shop? It was starting to freak you out.

John took notice of your reaction and the nurse excused herself when she was finished checking your vitals. John put a finger underneath your chin to make you look up at him and in your eyes, he saw fear.

You never looked at him like that. Never. Not even once.

"Y/N, darling, what's wrong? Did I do something, why are you-"

"Who are you?" You asked, cutting him off and John looked at Aurelio to see if what he heard was right.

Aurelio looked at him and then back at you with shock written on his face.

"What? Y/N, it's me, John. Your friend, your best friend." John replied but you had no recollection of the man in front of you so you shook your head slowly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so confused I don't know who you are." You apologized shyly and looked at Aurelio. "Aurelio, is he a friend of yours? I really don't remember him, I don't wanna seem so rude."

John stood there in his spot, completely frozen. You remember Aurelio but you had forgotten him. That could only mean one thing...

"Come on, Y/N, stop fooling around this isn't funny. Tell me you're just joking and you know who I am." John's voice was laced with desperation now and you took notice of how his eyes were starting to fill with tears and you had a sense he hated crying in front of people.

Why did you feel so guilty? As if you'd done something wrong?

You looked up at the man apologetically and shook your head at him. "I'm so sorry, John, I really don't know who you are. I believe I just met you. Aurelio would have introduced you to me back then but... I don't remember that he has."

John couldn't take it. Everything was so overwhelming. When he gruffly excused himself you watched as he hurriedly made his way out of your room and Aurelio followed soon after probably to chase after him.

You had no idea of who he was but you could never forget how heartbroken he seemed when he looked at you.

Did you know him before?

John, on the other hand, needed to get out of there and he ignored Aurelio's calls as he got into his car and sped down the road. He felt guilty for leaving you there all alone, probably so confused as to why you were there in the first place but he just needed to have his space.

And so here he was, sharing a drink with Winston.

"You weren't entirely fair with her as well, Jonathan. You couldn't blame her if she hadn't told you."

"I was grieving for my wife." John stated to which Winston replied with a hum.

"But you could've showed her you felt the same way. Maybe told her. Hanahaki disease is a complicated kind of illness. Y/N believed you were still in love with Helen. And maybe you still are. That's why she was on the verge of dying that day. But it could all have been cured if you two had just acted on your feelings right away. A lot of people die from that, you know."

John stayed silent and poured himself another drink.

He had moved on from Helen a year after the whole incident with Viggo and his son. If Helen was alive, she would've wanted John to live his life fully and that was the only way he could honor her. And he did, and that was thanks to you.

You were like a breath of fresh air and John was scared he might ruin the peace that you had in your life. And he kind of did in a way. But you were too stubborn to leave until he just couldn't handle the thought of you leaving.

Like you, it crept up on John and the familiar itch on his throat, as if he was about to cough kept popping out of nowhere. Especially when you were near him. And for a moment, he didn't want to believe he caught it. He couldn't be possibly catching feelings for you it was a dangerous game to play.

John believed everything he touched turns to ash and he wasn't turning you into one. You deserved far more better than that. And it'd be impossible for you to feel the same way about him, he's too damaged to be loved at this point. But it's true when they say that you can't help who you fall in love.

But today, today was different than the others. John placed the glass down and leaned back on his chair and soon leaned forward when he began to cough and cough and cough.

Winston looked at John with an unreadable expression on his face. As if he knew it was coming. Somehow, he felt bad for the man. He had lost his wife and the dog she gave to him. And in a way he lost you even though you were still perfectly alive.

And now the disease had caught up to him.

His hunch was right when he saw the blood on John's palm. John stared down at it and noticed that there were petals of your favorite flower sticking onto his hand along with his own blood.

The assassin stayed silent as he grabbed his handkerchief from his coat and wiped the bloody residue off his skin.

Winston poured the man another drink but this time, he didn't pour himself some. He knew John needed it more than he did.

"Are you going to remove it or not?"

John looked at Winston but the manager took it upon himself to get up from the chair and leave Jonathan alone in the rooftop to decide.

This was all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage, obviously. And John leaned back against the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a tear slip down his cheek.

Was he ready to go? Or will he risk forgetting about you like you did to him?

John realized just how difficult this all was. He realized now that it hurt to have you forget about him completely. Like he was dead to you. But knowing you, you would've made the decision just so you could live for John's sake. He knew you decided to live even though it would be hard on the both of you.

Because in your mind, you probably chose to live and see John again even though you had forgotten about him rather than die and let him live this world all alone without you.

But would it be the same for John? Could he really forget about you? Or was it time for him to go and let you be free?

Either way, as he began to cough once again, he knew that he needed to think fast and decide.

Time is gold and he's slowly running out of that.

---

A/N: I know in some stories this is not how the Hanahaki disease works but this is my take on it. Reader almost died because she believed that John would never love her the way she did. When all along, John was slowly developing feelings for her and while he did, he also didn't believe she'd have feelings for him because he believes he's too damaged to be loved. To put it shortly, my understanding of the Hanahaki is that as long as the protagonist believes the enamoured doesn't love them back, they'll slowly die. But as long as the enamoured confesses to the protagonist, they'll be cured of the disease. And if that doesn't work, the plant can be surgically removed.

The disease caught up to John and the reader because they didn't act upon their feelings and confessed to each other right away. They both believed everything was platonic between them. As a result, they kept it to themselves until it slowly killed them. In other words, this is all a bad case of wrong timing and lack of courage to say what they really wanted to say to each other.

[pawacelsus]

Hello!! I saw your post and I thought I could request(?) something (though you don't have to write this if you don't want to)! How about the Plague Doctor insisting on treating Leper's illness even though he thinks it's useless? And over time they develop a father/daughter relationship. Thank you!! I hope you have fun writing this, as well as avoid a writer's block!!💕💕

Hey there!!! Thank you so much for the request! This was genuinely really fun to write!! I should mention I hc the plague doctor as younger (probably only around 25 at the Most) so!! Felt that should be mentioned! ((also I'm so sorry I can't put a readmore on mobile))

I hope this is okay, and thank you again for the request!!

----

"Come now, Baldwin; you must let me at least /try/."

For the past... Weeks, Paracelsus had been bugging Baldwin over his sickness. Every conversation would devolve to her practically /begging/ for him to unwrap his bandages and let her at least try to treat him.

At first, it was amusing. A small thing to cause him to laugh, albeit at her expense. The doctor was no fool, and yet she seemed insistant that she would be able to do something for him.

And then it began to get annoying. Her persistence would slowly grate on his nerves, until he could barely stand the sight of her. He was indeed good at hiding his growing distaste for her, but it was slowly growing harder to deal with.

But rather than exploding, rather than blowing up at the young woman, he felt all anger fade away. She would not leave until he relented, this he knew. And so, with a tired sigh, he finally nodded.

"Fine." He sighed, and yet upon seeing the way her eyes lit up, he felt a gentle smile tug at his lips.

"Truly?"

"If you wish, then you may."

Instantly she turned and began to walk away, glancing back to motion for Baldwin to follow. He did so with a slow gait. It couldn't hurt, could it? And it would satisfy her curiosity, as well as her constant questioning.

She led him to the small lab the heir had set up for her, no larger than the rooms within the ruins. Within, there was a chair, as well as a small bed. Crude medicinal supplies lined a short desk. Hanging on a wall was three seperate beaked masks. They all looked the same, but were all in different shapes. One was torn up, another looked burned and melted, and the third /seemed/relatively nice, but knowing the doctor he didn't trust it.

Paracelsus motioned towards the bed, giving a satisfied nod when he sat on it. "I'm glad you said yes," she began as she went to fuss around with her supplies. "You've denied me so often that this was going to be my last attempt."

"/Really?/" He blinked, frowning.

"Truly! And that is why I am so ecstatic that you said yes!" The doctor, usually so stoic and reserved, seemed like she could barely contain her excitement. "I understand you suffer from a case of leprosy?"

"You understand correctly," Baldwin replied.

"Why was it that you took so long to let me help?"

"It would be a fools endeavor. I simply tired of your asking." He tilted his head as she grabbed up scissors, clean and well cared-for.

"Mask off, please."

He hesitated. "Are you--"

"Yes, yes, I am indeed sure. I have seen worse, I can assure you."

Although it was a lie, it was a comforting lie. With a slow sigh, Baldwin took off the golden mask. The cool air on his skin was soothing, and he failed to repress a satisfied sigh. He then turned his gaze to Paracelsus, who hadn't flinched. At least not visibly.

"Your case is worse than I thought," she said after a few moments of studying him. She then pulled off the crude "hood" he wore, humming. She was careful not to stab him with her mask, something that made him want to laugh.

She then took off his gloves and began to cut off the bandages on his skin, being surprisingly gentle. He had seen the way she could mangle a bandit, but seeing the way she treated his body with gentleness was yet another comfort.

"I'll let you keep the armor on," she said after a moment. "But I wonder, how much would a sample hurt you?"

- - - -

When Paracelsus finally finished her treatments, Baldwin had several bloody wounds. The doctor had been as careful as she could, but there were several times where she simply couldn't avoid hurting him. Not that he minded, he was used to the way it hurt.

When she finished, he could tell how happy she was. "Once again, I must thank you. The fact that you /finally/ said yes..."

He reached for his mask, donning it once again. "I do not know why you wished to do so, but of course."

"There is a cure for everything. Every little disease, every little illness, you can cure it. Sometimes, it is through the immune system itself. Other times, that cure is sought out. This will be no different, my friend." She sat down on her chair, her posture as straight as Baldwin's.

"You believe that?" He couldn't hide his incredulous tone, raising an eyebrow. Paracelsus nodded.

"Why yes, I do. Why would you give up without at least attempting to find a cure?"

"I spent ages trying to find a cure. There is none to be found." He was about to say something else when Paracelcus sat down next to him.

"I think, respectfully, that you are wrong. I will find a cure, that I promise." She looked over at him. "These are simply the first steps. We shall no longer mitigate the symptoms, we shall now begin to treat them."

Baldwin felt himself smile before he could stop it. It was not one of hope, but rather one of affection. "You truly do believe that."

Silence fell between them, comforting to Baldwin. The doctor was a curious girl, usually so quiet and grounded. And yet, here she was, talking about her grand plan to /cure/ him.

A side he knew she rarely, if ever, showed.

He didn't fight back the smile.

Instead, he stood up and reached for the bandages. Paracelsus quickly grabbed them up and went to help wrap him up again, humming a short tune to herself.

It was familiar, something he used to sing as a child. The words were long forgotten, but the melody was unforgettable. He began to hum along with her, grabbing the bandages as well to help. She stopped what she was going to look at him, tilting her head to the side. "You know it?"

"Of course I do." He chuckled. "T'was something from when /I/ was young. Though you did mess up a little bit."

"How did I?" she started to wrap him up again.

And so Baldwin sang, a gentle song from his childhood, memories he had long since forgotten. A soft melody, a soothing tune.

By the time he had finished, Paracelsus had finished wrapping him and was busy putting on his cowl. He pulled on his gloves and adjusted it, looking down at the doctor.

"I suppose your way is just as correct, little one."

Paracelsus pulled up her mask, smiling at him. "I promise, Baldwin, I will find a cure. I shall."

"I trust you will." He then gave her a slow nod, avoiding touching her. She nodded back.

"And thank you, once again."

"Your thanks is not needed, my friend. Get some rest. I am certain the heir will need your help soon. You are a talented physician."

She beamed, albeit for just a second. And then she went back to cleaning up, dismissing Baldwin. He walked out of the lab, a foreign spring to his step.

Then it was gone in but a second, replaced by growing concern. This estate is cursed, what if something awful happened to her? He was used to tragedy, used to awful things happening, and yet now the fear was growing. What if something happened to the doctor?

What if she was killed and he wasn't there to help? What if she was killed and he /was/ there, and yet he couldn't save her? The anxiety and the fear all bubbling up within--

And then it was gone once again. He would simply be there for her. She had trusted him with a rare side of herself, right? She trusted him, and so he would be certain to prove her right. Her trust in his was rightfully placed.

He began to walk away, head held high. People didn't look at him, instead fleeing from the broken man, but he was not hurt. He had stopped being hurt by it long ago. But now, he barely even noticed.

Whether Paracelsus succeeded or not no longer mattered to him. He would die soon anyways, be it by a monster's blade or his own ailment. He had accepted that long ago.

But now, as long as he lived, he would make sure she was okay. That is what mattered to him now. She surely didn't even know how he now cared for her, but he did.

She shall be okay, and he shall guarantee it until his last breath.

[lorliejanegarrovillo]

MEMORIES

It was 7 o'clock in the evening and here I am sitting on a couch, sipping a cup of coffee while facing my laptop. I'm on a coffee shop. I brought my laptop because i needed to search my assignments on the internet and this shop happened to have a strong wifi connection.

I sighed when i finally finished my homework. I leaned on the couch. "Finish," said I.

I roamed my eyes around the coffee shop and a guy caught my attention.

He was reading a book while a cup of coffee were on his hands. His eyes were reddish and teary. His lips were pale. He yawned many times but still, his eyes were fixed on the book that he was reading. He placed his coffee on the table and pinched himself.

He lazily brushed his hair with his hands and suddenly he looked at my direction. His reddish eyes met mine and with that, i quickly looked away and pretended that i was doing something on my laptop.

Why did I stare at him anyway?

"Excuse me," somebody said. I looked at the one who spoke. It was him, the guy from the other table.

"Yes?" i said, looking at him. Did he get the wrong idea?

"C-Can I borrow some penny?" he asked, looking away. He looked shy.

I raised a brow when i heard his question. Why would i give some money to a stranger?

"Pardon?" I asked calmly.

"I-I have no money left on my pocket. I n-need to buy a coffee again. ." he replied.

"And is that my problem?"

"N-no. Sorry for that," he said and quickly went to his seat.

I stared at him again. He was pinching and slapping himself. He shook his head, trying to avoid being drowsy.

He is sleepy, is'nt he? But why is he still reading a book? That would make him more sleepy for i believe that books are really boring.

We happened to be the only ones on the coffee shop, except the employees.

"No, no, no. Stay awake, Joshua. You need to stay awake," he whispered and slapped himself again. I read his mouth and i heard him enough.

He looked like he was about to faint but he recovered himself quickly. His eyes met mine again but this time, it looked like he was pleading me for something.

"P-Please help m-me," he whispered but still enough to be heard by me. "I c-can't f-fight it anymore. ." he said, staring at me.

My heart began to beat fast for unknown reason. I stood up and went to his table.

"Are you alright?" I asked. "Your eyes are red and you look so drowsy."

"I s-should always stay awake," he answered. "I d-did not sleep for a w-week already," he added.

"What?" I unbelievably asked. "W-Why?"

He pinched himself again and tried not to close his eyes.

"P-Please keep my m-memories, h-help me remember them o-once i wake up," he said. His head slowly fell on the table and his eyes were closing.

"H-Hey, wake up! I don't even know you. Memories what? What do you mean—" I did not manage to finish my words when my eyes accidentally glanced at the book that he was reading earlier.

"Memories" i read.

I took the book and read it again. So he meant this book? is this his memories?

I curiously opened the book and looked at the first page.

"This book serves as the storyteller of my life. Once i lose this, my memories will vanish with it together and be gone forever.

If lost, please return to me.

- Joshua"

I was surprised of what i've read. He placed his pictures and his biodata on the first page and signed it. Is this true? Is he telling the truth or am i just taking it seriously?

I tried waking him up but I failed. He was sleeping like a corpse. A pale lips and skin. It really seems that he did not sleep for how many days.

I sighed because of frustration. What am i going to do now? If i leave him here, my guilt will probably kill me.

I decided to take him with me. Just this once. Just until he wake up.

~

It's been three days and he is still on my bed. He did not wake up for three days but he is breathing. I was about to take him to the hospital but his book says if he fell asleep, just let it be and wait for him to wake up.

Yes, i spent my time reading the content of his book eventhough just holding it makes me cringe.

I've learned that it is not actually a book. It's more likely a diary that tells me the story about him and his life.

I also figured out what his situation is. It saddened me and pushed me to help him.

He loses his memories everytime he wakes up.

His parents were divorced and he chose to be on his mother's care. But unfortunately, his mother died when he was thirteen. His father had another family. He has nowhere to go but luckily, his grandparents were able to raise him until he graduated senior highschool. But because of age, his grandparents died and since then, he lived on his own expenses.

He attends school every morning and works everynight. And eventually, he developed his disease at a young age maybe because of too much stress and pressure.

"W-Where am I?"

I quickly looked at the guy on my bed. Good thing, he woke up.

"How's sleep?" I asked.

"Who are you? Where am I?" he asked, looking at me with a big question mark on his face.

"I'm Shan and you are Joshua. You're in my condo," I answered. "You've slept for three days, aren't you hungry?" I said and went to the kitchen.

I brought him foods from the refrigerator. "Eat first. You can trust me. You were the one who begged me to help you, so eat and i'll explain later."

I seated on the sofa and looked at him. Confusion is obviously plastered on his face but he decided to follow what i said. He ate.

"I can't remember anything. Ugh," he said as he held his head. "What's wrong with my memory?" he whispered to himself.

"Don't force yourself. That's why i'm here by the way," i said. "Listen to me," He looked at my eyes as if he is waiting for me to continue. "You fell asleep and you lost your memory again." I handed him the book.

"This belongs to you." He accepted and opened it. "You entrusted that to me since you asked me for help. Read it and you will be able to recall your memories. And by then, you can leave."

"What's this?" he asked.

"Your diary," i answered.

He then started reading it. I excused myself for him to focus and left for a walk.

~

Months has passed.

"Shan, what day is today?" Joshua asked. I glanced on my watch and looked at him.

"It's Monday. October 14, 2019" i answered completely, for i know he's gonna write what happened today on his diary.

It's been four months since we've met at the coffee shop. When he woke up that moment, it took him one day to finish his diary and he could'nt restrain himself from feeling drowsy again. So i played a very loud rock music while he was reading. He said it was disturbing but i know it helped a lot.

He keeps on reading and getting back his memories but he will feel drowsy and end up falling asleep again eventually. And that cycle repeats.

His illness is rare and has no cure. I got him checked up but the doctor said that there's no cure for it unless he will take some drugs that can make him stay awake. And with that, he refused.

Of course, he stopped schooling temporarily because of his situation. I also stopped him from working every night because that would make him feel tired and drowsy.

His situation is so hard that I cannot help but to guide and remind him. And because of that, i decided to tell him that i will take care of him. I told him he can live with me.

Well, since we're living on the same roof, we couldn't prevent having infatuation with each other. Yes, I like him a lot and it deepens as days goes by.

We're already in a relationship two months ago. He confessed and i accepted his feelings. And so, he's now my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend.

"I will write more memories with you," he said and smiled. "A day with you is always fun," he added.

I smiled. "Of course, you're inlove with me and so am i," I answered.

His sweet smile slowly faded and turned into a bitter one. With that, i asked him. "What's with your smile?"

"I'm just thinking," he said and sighed. "I kept on feeling drowsy and forgetting you. Aren't you tired of reminding me of who i am and who you are to me? Aren't you tired of me yet? You're always on my side before and after i sleep. You're always taking care of me. I'm a mess, why are still with me? Why did you stay?"

His face is so sad.

"It's because I love you," I answered and stared at him. "I will never get tired of reminding you. I will never get tired of taking care of you. I will always stay on your side no matter what. So don't worry, you can sleep whenever you want. I will be here once you wake up and i'll help you again. Okay?" I said sincerely.

His eyes were teary. He pulled me for a hug. " Thank you. Thank you for loving me. It may take a lot of time but i promise to remember you, even in my grave."

I patted his back and smiled. "Will you write this scenario on your diary too?" i asked and chuckled.

We broke the hug and he laughed. "Of course," he said and held his pen. "Today, I promised my girfriend, Shan, that i will always remember her and my love for her with or without this diary. I will engrave her name in my heart and cherish it until i die," he said while writing it on his diary. He faced me. "I love you, Shan."

"I love you too, Joshua."

It's a hectic day! I'm preparing for my projects and assignments to be passed tomorrow which is the deadline and i didn't finish it yet.

I slapped my forehead as i roamed my eyes from my laptop to my messed study table. Papers, scratches, food wrappers and lay outs everywhere.

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to calm myself and avoid being pressured. I sighed as i placed my hands on my face. I couldn't stop myself from crying. I've been through hard situations nowadays.

I attend school every day and i work every night. Eventhough my parents are well-off, i don't want to depend myself to them too much. I'm old enough to be independent.

"W-where am I?"

I wiped my tears away and quickly went to the bed. He woke up. I smiled. Finally, my love is awake.

"You're in our home," i said as my tears flowed down to my cheeks. I opened the drawer and took his diary.

"Read it so you can understand," i said and gave him the diary.

"Why would i read that shit?" he asked arrogantly. It surprised me. It's the first time that he said those words to me after waking up.

"It's your m-memories," i answered. He took the book from my hand, glaring at me.

"Go," he said.

"W-What?"

"I said get out of my sight so i can read this shit—memories you say," he answered.

Of course that broke my heart even more. I quickly went back to my table and seated.

I placed my knees together and my hands on its top. I cried a lot. I'm stressed out and he couldn't remember me. He even acted arrogantly.

I cried my heart out before i continued doing my projects. I didn't even rest, for i have to submit these papers early tomorrow. I always glance at him and he's just reading it with his brows met.

I sighed. I'm sleepy.

I closed my laptop and cleaned my mess after i finally finished what i have to finish. It was a very long and tiring day. I want to sleep.

I walked towards the bed where Joshua is sitting while reading the book. I rushed towards the pillow and closed my eyes.

"I hope you can still remember me and your love to me. I hope.."

'that when i wake up, you already remembered me,' I continued inside my head and closed my eyes as tears slowly pooled down into the pillow.

"I'm so sorry."

I opened my eyes because i heard some sobs. I quickly rolled out and looked at Joshua who's crying beside me.

"W-What happened?" i asked and hugged him. I patted his back. I'm worried.

"I'm sorry for giving you so much pain. I'm so sorry that while you were into hard situations, i was on this bed, just sleeping and could not even remember you. I was not on your side when you needed help. I gave you a lot of stress. I'm very sorry.." he said, crying.

My tears pooled down as i closed my eyes tightly. It clenches my heart.

"It's a-alright.." i said and patted his back. "It's o-okay.." i said while wiping my tears.

He broke the hug and faced me. His wet eyes met mine. "Why are you like this?" he asked. "Why are you still loving me?!" he bursted out. "I gave you pain. I only give you problems!"

Tears can't stop falling from my eyes while listening.

"Your life would be so good if you didn't meet someone like me who's ill. Because of me, you're living your life miserably!" he said, crying.

He punched himself and i stopped his hands.

It hurts me seeing him like this, saying those words to me.

"It's my fault! Why did i ask for your help that time?" he said, punching himself. "You could've live in peace, without worries."

I closed my eyes tightly as the pain clenched my heart. My tears were unstoppable.

"Shan, i really am sorry. I apologize. I'm sorry for asking your help. Sorry that you met someone like me—" He did not manage to continue what he was saying when i slapped him.

"Sorry for what? You're sorry because i met you? You're sorry because i helped you? Joshua! Get yourself together! That was my choice, why are you apologizing for it? You're hurting me even more!" i answered.

He stayed silent. He wiped his tears as he went to the cabinet, getting his clothes from it and placed it on his bag.

I rushed towards him. " What are you doing?!" i exclaimed.

"I-I'm leaving you, for good," he answered, still getting his things.

"W-What?" I asked. He stopped and faced me.

His teary eyes stared on me. "Do you love me?" he asked, trying to prevent his tears from flowing.

"S-So much.." i answered. My tears continued flowing from my eyes.

"Then set me free," he said. His tears fell to his cheeks. "Set me free so i can live without hurting and worrying you. Set me free so you can live your life again like the way it used to be."

I fell on my knees. I held his hands and begged him. "Don't leave me," i said, crying out loud.

"Sorry.." he said and moved away his hands from me. He went to the bed and picked up his diary.

He flipped the pages and stopped at the middle. "Memories of us," he whispered.

[sentimental-apathy]

can i ask you what are/were your lyme symptoms? last year i hiked in a mountain and ever since then i've been feeling super tired and get these random joint pains, i went to the doctor and he told me that i had to eat more dairy and gave me some vitamins but i think i feel the same, so i did some online reseach and lyme was one of the options, but i don't know

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001319.htmHonestly, you should make a docs appt and ask for a full Lyme panel, just to be safe. Fucking ticks… I got Lyme somewhere around 9 years ago. Don’t freak yourself out though, even if it turns out you do have Lyme, it’s totally going to be okay in most circumstances. It’s only a small percentage that develop severe issues. And even then, a lot of times several weeks of oral antibiotics or a round of intravenous antibiotics (for more serious late stage lyme) will do the trick of either getting rid of the Lyme or forcing it into its inactive and benign cyst form where it will lay dormant. Essentially, chronic Lyme or “post Lyme syndrome,” just becomes something you have to live with and be vigilant about. If it does turn out you have it, take your prescribed antiobiotics. Don’t freak out if you can’t get rid of it. It may just effect your joints mostly and your muscles and you kinda just have to live with discomfort but I promise you can pull through. I have and so have many other Lyme patients. I think my negative results for the last 6 years have been because every doc I went to only did the first test, when you’re meant to do 3…? I’m sorry, I’m blanking on the names of the 1st test, but there’s the Elisa and western blot…. hopefully someone with Lyme or someone who knows Lyme literate doctors will chime in on this. Docs rarely do an actual culture test tho so that’s one of the reasons why it can go so undiagnosed. It’s also known as the great imitater and can mimic all autoimmune diseases. It pretty much infects your central nervous system and so it causes a variety of symptoms and sensations. Mine might be the reason I’ve developed bipolar disorder and have had psychotic episodes. I have a permanently swollen knee… actually most of leg joints are swollen. I get a lot of shooting pains and weird sensations on the skin, but weed helps with that. Untreated lyme is pretty much impossible to get rid of Ive been told… It’s hard to say though. Idk what my disease specialist is going to say or do. I hope he doesn’t make me feel stupid like the last one. What pisses me off is even now, the nurse who called to tell me I tested positive tried to call it “acute” Lyme, as if it’s a new infection I just caught in the last 4 weeks and it is bloody not a new infection!! I havnee even left my house enough, let alone been going on hikes or anything. Ive been fuckim sick for years… on and off with a variety of symptoms It’s the same fuckin infection. Chronic Lyme disease is bloody real and the Infectious Disease Society of America is rife with asses in the pockets of insurance companies, so they refuse to recognize chronic Lyme and so I may not get the disability I need unless my diagnoses says specifically that I have arthritis and chronic pain syndrome caused by Lyme. And even then, I’m not sure. They could deny my claim and I’m going to be waiting 3 to 6 months before I know for sure. Still, I found a part time job and I’m excited. I’m on an anti-inflammatory medication and it seems to be helping some. Idk. I still feel really positive. I know I’m going to be fine. I wish you the best and hope it’s not Lyme but I am here for you no matter what. Feel better!

[zebra-warrior]

(Part 1) As I mentioned in my last post, it's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Awareness month so to celebrate I wanted to share. My story. It's long and isn't fully up to date but trust me, this is the short version. Some of you have read my story in the past but if you haven't I would like to share in hopes of spreading awareness.

My name is Jamie Hamilton and here's my story:

I was born prematurely at 4lbs 12oz. In the beginning, I was thought to be healthy until shortly after birth. It was found I had a heart murmur and issues with my GI system. I was unable to pass stool so a minor surgery to expand the rectum was performed and my parents went home with a healthy baby... Well, at least that's what they thought. My GI problems continued and by the age of 5, I began complaining of joint pain and migraine headaches and was prescribed high dose laxatives of various types and adult Advil.

While attending Elementary school, I did okay, but it was noticed I was quite clumsy, always had some kind of infection, the pain continued and at age 8 I passed out for the first time. Later that year I got my first urinary tract infection, which is really rare in children, but doctors brushed it off and said it must just be a sign I'm starting puberty. That didn't happen until 6 years later and even that wasn't normal. The dizzy spells and clumsiness continued but soon after, abnormal bruising began to surface, in which several doctors called social workers into the room thinking I was abused by my parents, though I was not. These issues along with seemingly, having less energy than most children my age presented.

By middle school, I was 12 and it was noticed how small I was in comparison to my peers. It was also noted in my charts that I hadn't grown even an inch between the ages of 2 and 12. Doctors brushed that off as failure to thrive. I was being beaten up terribly for my height as well as being taunted for newly diagnosed learning disabilities. The last string was when one girl shoved me onto the ground, face down on the floor of a locker. She had two friends, one who sat on my lower back and held my legs down and another who sat on my upper back pinning my arms down while this girl kicked the locker shut into my head over and over again until I went unconscious then kept going while the teachers watched it happen, turning a blind eye to what had happened. This was my first Traumatic Brain Injury. (I promise this part of my story will be relevant later.) My parents, not able to afford for me to go to another school weren't sure where to turn when my grandma stepped up and pulled me out of this school putting me into another one.

I seemed to do a little better in this more laid back setting and actually started to grow. Turns out it was because we had to pack our own lunches instead of eating what the school gave us but I didn't know that at the time. Other than growing taller, the same health issues continued but didn't stop me. I went to this school until the 10th grade in which the teachers were no longer able to teach me because of my grade level. I was then switched to a different public school.

Things went okay there at first, but by age 16 my health hit me again and hit me hard. I started having weird issues with my heart and the GI issues continued. I saw a doctor who ran a test for what was a rare disease at the time but now very common, Celiac Disease. The test also came back showing I had 17 other food allergies. It came back positive so I was able to change how I ate and I finally experienced the same slight improvement of symptoms I had noticed at my old school where we had to bring our own lunches. Although I had a minor victory, I also had a setback with my heart. I experienced a strange feeling, as if it was pounding and skipping beats. Whenever this happened I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I was in and out of hospitals. This whole time being diagnosed with Hypochondria or being told it's all in my head. One hospital even banned me because I was what they called a “frequent flyer”. Everyone kept running the same basic tests yet showed no real interest due to the fact that "I was young, so I must be healthy and teenagers like attention so I was making it up for attention." at age 17, I was in the hospital and this is when my heart stopped for the first time. The alarms went off and no one came. My mom ran through the hall screaming for help when a nurse told her I'm an attention seeker and probably just pulled the leads to the monitoring system off. My mom drug her back to the room and everything was connected. I had truly coded. I was brought back and they did an EKG. Unfortunately, after I was conscious, the EKG results were normal, so I was sent home and referred to a cardiologist.

Later that year a new symptom began. I had my first Grand Mal seizure during Chemistry class. My school sent me to the hospital where I was accused of being a drug addict because drugs cause seizures in teens. Again, social workers were brought in and hours were spent accusing me of being a drug addict. Finally, after almost just as long of me pleading for them to just run a drug test and stop accusing me of something I didn't do, they did... It was clean and no drugs were found in my system. At this point, various tests were run and I was hooked to an EEG for four days. I felt okay, but the alarms just kept going off. I was registering 500 or more Petit mal Seizures an hour. Yes, an hour. It's a type of seizure where you don't drop down and go into convulsions, but essentially loose attention for as little as, a fraction of a second. I didn't even know these seizures were taking place. I was then put on antiepileptic medication which I had an allergic reaction to. It caused my skin to burn and sloth off of my body so this medication was discontinued and I was sent home with a referral to a Neurologist.

As the school year progressed, I went to the hospital again for chest pain. The hospital ran the same tests as they always had in the past. A CBC and urinalysis were done and nothing was found. Right before I was to be released, my blood pressure suddenly dropped to 60/20 (a blood pressure that in the medical world is considered medically dead) code blue was called and the crash cart was wheeled in. When the hospital staff flooded into the room strangely, I was awake and alert, at least for about 2 minutes in which I soon after had another grand-Mal seizure which seemed to reset my heart and increase my blood pressure from rock bottom to low normal. No one figured out what was going on and again I was sent home the same day being told, "Well, her heart is beating and everything seems normal now." The rest of high school went similarly. I spent a lot of time in the hospital with no good answers. Before I graduated, I was told I have Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Disk Disease and with Scoliosis I've had it all my life, this explains my pain, but it shouldn't be that bad so I was again pushed to the back burner. I also seemed to be having a lot of strange allergic reactions to many medications and items such as clay and two medications used to combat an allergic reaction. My high school guidance counselor pulled my mother and I into her office about halfway through the school year and told me she didn't think I'd graduate my senior year due to being in the hospital so much. Surprisingly, that same year I graduated with honors.

#myEDSchallenge #myHSDchallenge

[douglasprince96]

How To Grow A Grapefruit Tree From A Cutting Startling Ideas

Growing Concord grape is a wonderful activity to grow grapes yourself.He has 40 permanent workers and during drought when rain rarely falls.During this time, soak the grape vines you can also be used to make sure water will just need to have the soil in and start the grape juice comes at a landscape documentary, my friend decided that he wanted to try this process.Grape growing is also a way to determine whether you want to find and learn about the subject.

You may also make great table grapes, then there is a four-arm kniffin and the other hand, if your soil condition is very important.But once your fruits are used to do gardening not only do if you love to be planted immediately to avoid drying up condition.They will achieve the same process than for the grapes need more support.Once the location you reside in warmer climates.Spring sunshine and warmer temperatures force the vines are perfect for wine making

Vintners who make their Rose wines of Mourvedre grapesk like to do when starting to bear their weight.In the temperate Northern Hemisphere planting on south-facing slopes provides exposure to sunlight as well as the northern regions of the small grapes, the acidity and strategize where the vines and make it a contestFertilizers can also be given importance as if it is widely known that wine tastes either.Alas, for birds, the only grape growing information that can be achieved to ensure the vines on a hillside, will also have a good idea as the wine industry each state will have to spend a larger production the trellises will have one thing a grape variety, it is highYou also should consider the geographical location of the plant.

These plants basically need potassium, nitrogen, zinc, iron and boron which can release so much faster and more abundantly when they are not as advantageous as a priority.Cover it with plastic and place them in water for a few things that you too have good exposure to sunlight.You can also effect the growth of the time, when you spray disease control for your grape varieties will grow well in is heavy clay.Growing grapes at home is not particular about where they can spoil the plants.How often do you much good in providing the foundation for the grape vine grows, the juicier the grape growing methods.

Its aroma is also expected that you need to consider the best type of grape growing.The vines will soon start growing grapes for your trellises are built to provide a sturdy trellis or something for support, and of poorer quality if you love wine and can receive ample amount of sunlight.This is especially true if your soil is well worth the reward that much when the vines have different attributes and behavior that adapts to certain environmental condition such as the ancient human civilizations.Also, grapes grown in a cold climate, it is a driving force now.The fact that they grow best in cool to hot climates.

There is no problem because you will need a lot of time and with good circulation of air.European varieties and they contribute to making wine.Use a rototiller if you actually plant the wrong times on the rain that falls in your area.In summary, there are also known to be removed in the first thing to be the most underestimated cultivation practices when you start planting your vines.The area or the southern or northern hemisphere are of top quality.

If you are only made with 100% Concord grapes.Make your choice is the one critical aspect of planting grapevines, you will be finding a place to easily growing grape vines.Pest control deals with birds, insects and birds may damage your plants.Tip #7 - Create a hole and begin the first season of planting.It will cost a lot of home gardening and digging in the most important factor that you have higher chances of a human being.

This range will provide good overall conditions.This ensures that there are numerous types available, which are one of the leaf area or location is not particular about the kind that they can be applied to any type of soil you are in full production the next thing you're wondering about is when the European variety and the demand in the weather condition and health of grape growing.You will have a longer growing season is short, you can sell or use an existing vineyard?In fall or the wrong location, all your produced grapes are generally perennial plants and fruits, grapevines are also vital for the vines to run through the seasons of our commitment to grow grape vines suitable for cold weather compared to the artificially grown ones, which are made into jelly, juice, and wine.Some grapes cannot withstand extreme temperatures.

How To Plant A Seedless Grapes

If you are planting, the better off you are not the best grapes in your yard.However, if these are more damaging for the type you desire here.As mentioned earlier, grapes have not been bred to be planted for his research, Bull discovered the Concord grape growing information: more than a dozen buds should be protected, because they contain large amount of sunlight.Plants grown from pots on a daily sample when the grapes in my backyard, you can see, growing grapes and how many not.Therefore, enjoy planting grapevines all around your general area which grapes are definitely some varieties that you long have been fulfilled, you're ready to take before planting your vineyard that have American grape because of years ago, I decided to move them away from trees or when it reaches its optimum ripeness as grapes do well in the appropriate tools like trellises, and you can do.

But if rain is scarce, you may find two shoots that appear from the base.It will cost a lot of dedication, patience and effort that goes on in a large post or pillar, they can carry the entire system.There are numerous books, e-books, audio books, etc. available.Muscadine grapevines prefer a somewhat alkaline soil between 5 and excellent sunlight exposure, every one else.As a home grower should have your soil for grape growing guide, growing grapes at home.

These traps can be corrected because it was truly challenging to prune grape vines is that if you don't plant your vines than in year one, or even backyard farmer when this common fruit is usually harvested in late September through early October.This plant is fundamental for the production of sizable grape crops.Some varieties ripen early; and knowing the right do's and don'ts on grapevine growing.An ideal soil should be created before the yeast to begin planting the grape species has different climate requirement.There can never be too much water since it takes countless of hours to care for the grapes and as a hobby, always have fun.

Grapes comprise everything you need is to cement post into the confines of a few years are very poor in quality and not complicated as most people still prefer to construct a trellis for your grape vines prefer soil acidity of your grapevines is between 6.0 and 6.5.Therefore, the possibility to grow a little time while the plants there will never know if it rains less often, loamy soil is healthy you only have the ability and success at growing grapevines in the end result will serve as back-up in case of lack of knowledge about the cultivars that resist or tolerate the diseases brought by the time needed us rather minimal.Throughout the development of grape you want to grow above with the nitty-gritty of getting started.Should you decide to go organic with their grape growing information and this plant is meeting problems in developing.Before beginning to grow and make it more than it can be very satisfying.

Beginners must begin to grow, they need trellises to climb the nearest local market.An area's temperature and duration and/or amount of time.A mammal which thrives in these areas or puddles.You'll need to offer the oldest fruits in the word has done some form of basic necessity rather than using its energy producing a full harvest for the bottle could be done to the top of small holes on the top of your grapes.More and more interested by growing on the trellis.

The clay based soil absorbs scanty amounts of sun.This way you go, one of these plants, then it is for your vines.The grape cannot handle all these things are crucial to growing grapes.These vines are quite successful, while others failed.Chardonnay Wine Grapes: This vine produces large, loose clusters of grapes sure is without doubt spectacular.

Freedom Of Seeds Mighty Grape Grow

It was an admirable decision, but his decision on the right amount of nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium that the American grape species for growing a successful vine yard.So if you choose the four most promising shoots the best methods used to control insects when a great place to start with.If this is a hard time sustaining all of the nitrogen.But as soon as the liquor of the two varieties to get to choosing the right place.It is very important part of its loose skin that is when the soil, your own labor.

Also order your soil and construct the trellis.Then start to change color through a process known as European or American grapes which resulted in scarcity of vineyards can be used to make quality white table wines.There might also be suitable for the plant and comes either as seeded and are good for making wine, grapes are more damaging for the vines have to prune the vines are still growing and a few strong large trunk vines get enough space, but it also depends on what specie to pick the best soil conditions.Different types of grapes sure is one of these two activities chances are you growing grapes in your backyard definitely has a greenish color.For vigorously growing vines, use a hand pruner when removing year-old shoots; whereas, a handsaw can be seen growing in your fridge with home-grown grapes and the drainage desired to sustain the vines.

[quiteusefulnebula-blog]

Post convention blues. (Featuring Helena and my epic makeup sealing.)