#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

“Oh, no, this is the revenge tour!” Lol, are these revenge tours going to be like her rebrands? We get one at least once a year but nothing really comes of it.

Ask from July 23rd

Well, judging by the pace of 2024, they're traveling on the same scale as the BRF pre-COVID: one "big" joint trip per quarter with a few solo trips sprinkled throughout the rest of the year.

Except the difference was that the BRF as a whole shared/rotated their travel so most people were only traveling long-haul once a year (excepting Charles, because, well, you know. He's Charles and lives to work). The Sussexes seem determined to do all of that themselves. And you know, maybe it'll work. Maybe they can do all that travel by themselves to compete with the BRF.

But I don't think it's sustainable. Here's their "official" travel so far for 2024:

January 2024: Jamaica for the Bob Marley biopic premiere (both)

February 2024: Canada for the 2025 Vancouver IG kickoff (both)

May 2024: England for the IG 10th anniversary service of thanksgiving (Harry)

May 2024: Nigeria fauxyal tour (both)

August 2024: Colombia fauxyal tour (both)

September 2024: New York City (Harry)

November 2024: ~rumored~ (to compete with Earthshot)

Not only are they not getting anything in return for these trips, but the attention and press coverage they get dwindles with each trip they take because there's less and less interest:

Only Sussex mouthpieces covered the January Jamaica trip.

If it weren't for Harry's last-minute flight to see Charles after his cancer diagnosis and the new Sussex website rollout, the February Canada trip wouldn't have gotten any attention (suggesting that the Sussexes are aware no one gives them any attention unless they make it worth their while, which they did by talking about the BRF again).

The May Nigeria trip got some coverage because it was their first "big" fauxyal tour, but if you notice, hardly no one covered the Colombia trip.

Now Harry's NYC trip will absolutely get coverage, but only because the press can sell a crapton of stories hyping up a potential brotherly reunion or a run-in in the next three weeks (even though I'm pretty sure William won't go).

But since the Sussexes do these trips for attention and to make money, and they're actually losing attention and losing money when they do these trips (because they have to invest more in PR and more in "pregame schemes"), this isn't a sustainable model for them.

But we'll see. Should be fun. Cringe, but fun.

[two-reflections]

Been ill for the past week. Still not doing great now. (More info below.) But whatever, I'm back, though I'd be surprised if anyone noticed I wasn't around thanks to my queue. 😅

Haven't written anything for MMM because I haven't been awake for long enough each day to do much writing aside from bits for the upcoming exchange. I suppose I'm awake enough now to do a quick story audit, though. Click the Read More to see what I'm working on, and how I'm doing.

Writing Audit:

Aside from the first, these are vaguely in order of completeness/when they're likely to be posted.

TOP PRIORITY - Fic for the summer exchange. I have been doing some reading, and have put together an outline. I'm excited about this one, I really hope my giftee will like it. The problem? If I stick to this outline, the story will be several chapters long, and I'm probably not well enough to write all of it before the deadline. I wonder if it's acceptable to only put up a chapter or two of a gift exchange fic and finish it over the next few months?

Of Steel and Flesh - The next chapter was largely written back in January after the game that inspired this story, but as a consequence, it feels a bit too much like a TTRPG summary... It needs to be fleshed out more. Also, should it be split into two chapters? Unfortunately, while I love this story, it probably takes me the most effort to write, so it has been hard to work on recently. (Update the next day - Put out a chapter of this! Took me weeks to get it together.)

Alpha Legion short - I have a Alpha Legion short I threw together for an MMM post a while ago but I didn't post it because it was more silly than hot. My concern with this one is that I could easily see it becoming something much longer, like Iron Will, Crimson Whispers did. I don't have the space for another long project now, so I've been ignoring this one for a while. But I like it, and it shouldn't take too long to edit it...

Even in Death - The final chapter is basically complete, I just need to decide if I'm moving one section earlier so all the flashbacks will be in chronological order or if I should leave it as it is so there is a happier flashback following a sadder one. Once that's done, I can edit and post it.

Vulkan x Roboute short - Started outlining something for a friend. The pairing is cute and I want to make her something nice involving her OTP. This one will take me some research, though, so it probably won't be ready until after July. (Update - I guess I have to put on my clown makeup now, because I was reading The Art of War for unrelated reasons and ended up YOLOing this one.)

July MMM - One of the discord servers I'm in has been very keen on MMM recently. We're choosing a couple of prompts each month. Problem is, I recently wrote two stories that were a bit similar to July's prompts ("It's raining outside" is a thing in Feel for It, "knives and blood" was a thing in Afterparty). I've got something ready for it, though. Just need to wait til next Monday to post it.

Techmarine Story - This one is still in EARLY days. It doesn't even have a complete outline, just like 7-8k words in disconnected sections. I think I may need to severely narrow the scope of this one and make it either a oneshot or 3-6 short chapters. But I can't think about it anytime soon now I've signed up to a fic exchange.

Salamander Slice-of-Life Romance - My comfort project. It's coming along bit by bit, I probably add about 1k words to it a month. Still, I'm not in any sort of hurry to finish it. This is the one I really don't think anyone but me will ever want, haha. It's literally just an Astartes' first year or two on the job in a reserve company. Lots of mundanity, city life, squad dynamics, smaller deployments, and a romance with his brander-priest. I love it. It'll be ready when it's ready.

How I Am:

Warning, this is kind of a rant.

I miss being well. I was SO prolific just a month ago, before I got Covid again and had to go off my narcolepsy meds for an unrelated reason.

Even mild Covid sucks, but untreated narcolepsy is fucking shite. I've been on meds since I was 19, so I forgot how disabling it is. It felt less crushing before I was diagnosed, but at that point, that was the only way I had ever lived. Now, I've spent eleven years without the constant sleep attacks, and I can't remember how I used to manage this. (Probably badly since I ended up doing a full sleep study, lol.) It feels like I'm out of practice, if that makes sense? This whole thing has really thrown me for a loop.

Aside from writing, I haven't been painting much because I fall asleep when I sit still for more than a few minutes. Coffee helps, but I can only have one a day, so I'll drink my one coffee and then get a decent hour or two of painting at most before I'm back to being a bit useless. That may sound like a lot, but I'm a very slow painter. So, that's no fun.

I really don't want to just complain. My life is great, I'm very lucky to have a lovely spouse and not to be in a position where my narcolepsy could endanger my job or leave me homeless. I'm also lucky to be in the UK, where my diagnosis was free and I could actually afford eleven years of treatment without difficulty. But, fuck me, I want to be able to do normal human things again without falling asleep. This isn't forever, I'm off them for a good reason, but it may be a long time before I can go back on.

Ending on a happy note:

Hopefully, two friends and I will get to play Blood Bowl soon. She has played the digital version, he used to play but hasn't played for decades, and I've never played at all, so it should be a lot of fun. Plus, if there's three of us, whoever isn't playing can sub in for me if I fall asleep, haha.

[thedreadvampy]

I had a nice relaxing week at my mum's and then as the week's gone on I've been repeatedly feeling really ill and really dizzy and really uhhhh snippy? like I will suddenly get to the place where I want everyone to shut the fuck up and stop talking to me even though the whole REASON I go to mum's is to have like 18 hours a day of deep chat.

and I got out of the car this afternoon to go to the train station and I felt SO sick and my chest hurt and I was dizzy to the point of lurching and I was like OH. RIGHT. OK. I'M SO FUCKING STRESSED AND OVERWHELMED BUT I DIDN'T NOTICE BECAUSE I DON'T ACTUALLY FEEL CONSCIOUSLY ANXIOUS.

I am Very Good at subsuming these things.

so mum kind of nudged me towards thinking about how long it's been since I wasn't kind of in turmoil and I'm like ok so stuff's happened this past week and that was on the tail end of the buying a house thing. which overlapped with the moving jobs thing and was preceded by both the quitting the old job thing and the whole housemate moving out suddenly thing. which happened just as I was recovering from breaking up with Jay in August-October 2023. and both the relationship stuff and the house stuff were kind of precipitated at least in part by the fact that I had been in full burnout from work since November 2022 when my boss announced she was going on mat leave. but by then I was already burnt out from Big Project overwork Aug-Oct 22, and right before that there was a big campaign, so the last time I was actually not in rush mode was probably like July 2022? oh which is when I had COVID the first time. cool.

so like I haven't been in CRISIS crisis. like this is stable compared to the bulk of my life because I have had disposable income stable work decent housing and no new Trauma Times. so this has all registered as Still Pretty Ok. but also I have been running on empty for one reason or another for the better part of two years now which has played merry hell with my health and relationships and I think it's all come in to land very suddenly this week cause I have kind of put a lot of stuff down and closed a lot of open threads the last month or two.

and I think the closer I got to going home the more that anxiety was sneaking back in so by lunchtime I was so on edge and by 5pm I was about ready to vomit my pancreas through my nose. but it isn't really specific or even really ANXIETY it's kind of. aftershocks. so it hasn't been registering emotionally as stress, consciously I have been feeling...not like fine cause I've had a very emotionally difficult week last week. but Surprisingly Stable And Sensible. but I begin to suspect that this is not an entirely accurate accounting of my emotional state because I spent the whole ride home with my head down and my music up to full blast in my headphones because every noise made in a 100 mile radius made me want to tense up so hard my spine shatters. feels distinctly Unchill.

[romilly-jay]

Free Guy: If The Truman Show was a Game Featuring Ryan Reynolds

***spoilers***

I'd forgotten (of course) but Free Guy was one of those movies that got bumped multiple times because - COVID pandemic. Instead of opening in cinemas June/July 2020, it opened - after several reschedules - in August 2021.

This is one of the things mentioned in passing by RR as Deadpool in this spoofy Free Guy Trailer Watchalong also featuring Taika Waitiki as his Marvel character incarnation, Korg:

Also, oh my goodness it made RR the Man of Many Movies in 2021 - well, three movies, but that seems like... alot?

He also appeared in the sequel to 2017's The Hitman's Bodyguard (a big fave in this household despite or possibly because of it being crude and violent - the sequel is noticeably less fun, in my view). AND in Red Notice, with The Rock and Gal Gadot (also, IMO, Not As Fun).

So - good news for RR / SL was that Free Guy was a commercial success, earning $300m worldwide and ending the year just scraping into 10th place in the list of top ten box office earners. AND with the extra credit due for doing so whilst also being original IP. Screenrant has pointed out that ALL the other top 10 earners in both 2021 and 2022 were part of a pre-existing franchise (before going on to suggest that RR almost counts as a franchise in his own right...)

Did it work? Views in our household were a little mixed (I was more forgiving). Mark Kermode - quite liked it. For what it was. Clip below.

What did I think worked well / less well?

So, for me, the movie was a perfect blast whenever we were watching RR in his utopian/dystopian Free City world. A wonderful intro through the opening montage that shows Guy's chipper, happy, but slightly-empty-at-the-heart life, resolutely upbeat despite the mayhem being caused all the time all round them by sunglass-wearing players. (There's a bit later on that explains the players don't HAVE to wear sunglasses - if they're in a part of the game with no missions, for instance, there's no benefit to wearing them.) The levelling up montage - making the most of the idea that he's the Good Guy - is also super fun. The hero fight near the end against Dude, the buggy, under-coded alt-Guy commissioned by the baddie is also entertaining - and resolves in a very in-keeping manner.

Less successful? The segments in dirty, nasty Real World. Although full joy watching TW being a terrible, terrible Manchild Tech Bro <3

I think the tricky thing here is that RR is the big star - and is In Love with the Jodie Comer character - but can't logically "end up with her". So, they need an alternative resolution, one that gives her a happy ending in the Real World and leaves Guy happy in Free City. (Actually, that second part is easier - since he's coded as peppy and since the big, big win for his character is the journey to self-actualisation prompted by encountering his Dream Girl in the game. Which also has a logical grounding in the movie lore, because that's the result of deliberate coding experiments by JC's Real World design partner.)

It works but it's a switch and only one that we could see coming because there weren't other viable Real World candidates - not suggested in her behaviour. Even if the feelings have been clearly trailed from HIS side, they have been non-existent from her side.

Still, RR delivered a cracking performance and clearly enjoys working with Shawn Levy - they went on to make The Adam Project (time travel - YAY, Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo as young RR's parents - YAY) and the latest Deadpool movie (also starring Wolverine).

Something I thought worked really well was the design aesthetic - game world versus Real World - and *ofc* turns out that absolute LAYERS of nerdy detail went into this, mostly for details we never get to linger on, but anyone freeze-framing would get a kick out of...

Interview with the production designer in Variety gives more detail:

I also saw somewhere - somewhere not especially credible like Reddit but *shrug* maybe?? - that the opening map we see showing the layout of Free City is closely modelled on a map of Portland, OR?

[loverofpaperwork]

Elon Musk tries yet again to sue for Defamation and contract interference re:Media Matters

Repeating History

To refresh my memory if not others, In July 2023 Elon Musk's Twitter Corp sued the London, England based Inc or Ltd, The Center for Countering Digital Hate. It has the classic tropes of a lawsuit designed to waste courts time. A defendant the court shouldn't really have standing over, wild claims that cannot prove either defamation or any interference of contracts, and hurt pride. That complaint Attorney representing Twitter from White and Case, Johnathon Hawk, claimed that the CCDH Injured Twitter by "scraping" data, and intimidate clients. Well in all honesty John Hawk claimed that the CCDH targeted specific users to remove off of Twitter. The piece de resistance of this whole travesty of law was the part where Twitter pledged to enjoin 50 john doe defendants that were apart of a "Large Dark Money group" that subverts American politics and promotes Covid-19 Vaccines.

History at this point will note that this case can be entirely dismissed from court or continue shortly. Perhaps in light of this fact twitter didn't even try to bring in Media Matters into this whole dark money group thing that was undermining Twitters efforts to "promote free speech"

in fact apart of the CCDH's answer was:

“At its core, X Corp.’s grievance is not that the CCDH Defendants gathered public data in violation of obscure (and largely imagined) contract terms, but that they criticized X Corp. (forcefully) to the public,” -cnn (Online hate watchdog moves to dismiss lawsuit from Elon Musk’s X | CNN Business)

*it costs a decent chunk of money to get lawsuit forms, they don't have the pdf available yet, I ain't paying for it.)

While I hesitant to take anything at face value in a lawsuit, the core of the CCDH complaint and the Media Matters complaint is Elon Musk's injured Ego. One for suggesting his company promotes hate, and the other for straight up calling his company anti-semetic.

Dark Money

at this juncture I wish to move into the subject of Dark Money. The Dark money trope, because it is a conspiracy theory, is that elections are controlled by large sums of invisible money. It can't be traced, reported, or even noticed; except by those who have the will to see. It is an easy way of calling out a political opponent or group that is more popular and has more resources.

It is also slightly based in fact, like all good conspiracies. People just don't realize how expensive it is to run an election. That increasing price is seen as corruptiong, and not the nearly constant electioneering parties do. They really do win a seat of office, and immediately start running their reelection campaign.

The fact that Twitter has of yet to name any groups must show that Hawk's theory of a large group of parties trying to undermine twitter is false. Or he got fired, lemme bing that real quick. No he still works for McDermott, White, and Case. I guess Elon isn't footing the bill, OR MAYBE THE DARK MONEY GROUPS GOT TO HIM.

Hate on Twitter

Twitter has been known for years to bring out the worst in people. They have a profile pic, random name, and something in them wants to Seig Heil. I can't explain it. Its like it is designed to remove your filter when you post, which is why I never did. I quit the site months ago. So I don't know how bad it is know, but right after Elon took over, the entire thing was crypto porn bots it felt like.

Hate has always been a problem online, so it shouldn't be embarrassing for Elong to have to deal with it. All he needs to do is actually make small changes and announce they are apart of a larger plan. and boom. No longer anti-semetic. at least in the public perception.

Elon's weirdness

Elon likes fringe United States Politics. Stuff that isn't popular, but garners a lot of internet traffic. Think Reddit and 4chan hate politics. Spend enough time with Nazi's and you start to sound like one. That happened to him. Unironically his tweets out of context sound really bad. Like on a scale of 1 to hitler, like a 6 or 7.

I think he doesn't understand how bad his statements come off. I am choosing not to repeat what he reposts, or amplifies, or the posts he makes for two reasons. One, it always sounds worse to leave it vague, and two, I don't want to share such vile things.

Media Matters lawsuit

well now to real reason I write this. Yet another group is under the crosshairs of the self-proclaimed free speech absolutist. I don't really like what they do. I find their pithy messages, pithy. Often without context and they draw wide conclusions.

On the other hand this lawsuit alleges a general tort, or civil injury, but is unable to list any damages in the complaint. And protip, all the pontification in the world is useless before a judge if the other party did in fact not be the proximal cause of your injury. Twitter, in its own argument, is the inflictor of its own grievous wound. They put ads next to bad tweets, not Media Matters. No user has that authority or contract with the advertiser.

Oh and for good measure Elon wants the article removed entitled Musk endorses antisemtic pro nazi conspiracy theory, X has been placing ads for apple, et al, next to pro nazi conent from its web. (link As Musk endorses antisemitic conspiracy theory, X has been placing ads for Apple, Bravo, IBM, Oracle, and Xfinity next to pro-Nazi content | Media Matters for America) and not the other 19 articles the lawsuit mentions that harm Twitter and are all lies... etc. Again they can't cite one instance of lies in the complaint, when no proof is necessary but recommended.

You see they claim that they caused a business relationship to fall apart, but can't prove that. Even if it was true, Media Matters has to cite any of the thousands if not billions of reasons that Musk is a bad social media brand manager. Poof, the central concept and damage of the lawsuit becomes null. The entire lawsuit hinges on Musk proving that business relationships were irreparably and unfairly damaged by Media Matters, and good luck, it ain't happening.

all of this being said Media Matters did not:

pervert the truth to say what they want (paraphasing)

Manufacture a fake user experience

Threaten Twitter in any way

Manipulate algorithms (they cant, twitter controls those

the clueless lawyers for X instead of giving Elon a Xanax and ketamine decided to file this suit. They claim that Media Matters manipulated the platform by creating a newish account and following some bad actors in the space. Bad actors amplified by musk, followed musk, and unbanned by musk btw. This is not manipulation; this is an authentic user experience. People post bad things and then you see them. These posts are promoted by the algorithm randomly anyway because they attract a lot of views and engagement. Twitter tries to claim it is fake, but Media Matters as a matter of fact cannot and couldnot invent a fake twitter enviroment. Media matters did not make Seig heil posts. they merely refreshed the Seig heil posts until advertisers appeared next to it, thereby honestly simulating the twitter experience for the average user. these nazi kind of accounts just appear in my experience, doesn't matter if you are looking at cats, or a Snoop Dog post.

Media Matters simply showed screenshots of these companies advertising next to salacious materials. What threat did they make. DId they call for people to "cancel" IBM because they advertised on Twitter. I cannot recall of any. And even if they did call for people to cancel a company, did anyone listen? was any damage done? well good luck proving it.

Perverting the truth and distorting it isn't a real cause of action or defamation. Media Matters may have helped things along, but they didn't knowingly make a material misrepensentation of the facts as they understood them. I find it difficult for Musk, his attorneys, or anyone to really prove they knowingly lied.

The fact is that Twitter, under Musk's leadership, has continued to advertise next to posts that praise Hitler, among all sorts of things. Trying to claim users can curate them away is a false answer to the claim that advertisers are advertising to things they would rather not be associated with. Imagine a Vacation Bible School being put up next to hardcore porn. I am sure it happened. If users can curate the experience to hide bad posts, then bad posts exist, and have ads next to them.

TURNS OUT THIS IS WHY TWITTER "SHADOWBANNED" PEOPLE. TO STOP ADVERTISERS FROM LEAVING BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS 420EPICYOLOHITLERDIDNOTHINGWRONG cat emoji, eggplant emoji picture of a horse pooping, picture of a lady getting beheaded in an anime. Troll face. advertisers for the most part don't want to be next to that.

Turns out Musk firing the people that handle this kind of thing really really bit him in the ass. Who Knew?

[eight-twenty]

Eight Things: July in the rain

It’s raining while I’m typing these thoughts down. It’s simply a song lyric. It’s not that deep. Pretty much like the rest of what I’ll be typing down.

In the grand scheme of things—by things, I mean social media—I realize I am never gonna be ‘cool’ in it (I may not even be cool irl). What I want to say is I can never really be cryptic, mysterious, and nonchalant (I get that some people just dgaf sincerely). I am a chalant girl in a nonchalant world (though it's giving not like other girls vibe). I’m a long paragraph caption person, an oversharer, I find delight in the exchange of raw ideas and emotions. I am other girls. In that sense, maybe I am just chronically online and hyperaware. I get that I may never leave social media because the career path I’m in demands I sell my soul to it. As if my crippling self-awareness isn’t enough to feed my demons.

Self-awareness being said, I've noticed I post things about the 'grind' too often���being very millennial of me. But introspection tells me it has been my way of coping with the sense of guilt, like a part of me knows happiness is only achieved when it comes from struggle. Life has given me so many reasons to be contented about, but my efforts don't seem to justify that. It's hard to teach this brain that the universe can just be nice to you for no reason at all. I hope it does not come out as glorification of the grind. And even if it did, why should I care. Why am I even explaining it now. I should be explaining how happiness, satisfaction, and contentment and three similar but also different words. And I don't know which of those I am. But I know I am one of those, if not all. Or none at all.

3. If my offline brain were a person, it would be Daniel Sloss. I’ve never realized the real meaning of sapiosexual ‘til words came out of this person’s mouth, as is with many other comedians in my opinion; but Daniel Sloss just took my brains out unfiltered and somehow made money from it. Maybe seeing a touring comedy show for the first time (and from my favorite one no less) has been one of life’s latest highlights, and perhaps a mark of age. I just know 27 year old me would never pay tickets to see a man just talk, that money is well-spent on concerts of artists I may only know the A-tracks of.

Howevers: ☝🏻. The collective ‘Hahas’ in a theatre room full of people meant there are people as unhinged as I am to be laughing at certain topics of the show

☝🏻. The collective ‘Hahas’ of people meant I’m inhaling exhaled laughters in the air. My post-covid era brain was on alert. Immediately the next day, my voice sounded hoarse. “This is COVID, I know it” to which my irl husband said “kinsa ma’y di ma pagaw nga sige man ka’g shagit gabii.” Suffice to say, I did enjoy every bit.

For the nth time, I feel so vulnerable saying this, but watch ‘Dark’ or ‘Jigsaw’ on Netflix and let me know what you think. If it’s simply not your cup of tea, go on with your life. I love you for trying. But, if you disliked it with so much passion in a ‘is it supposed to be funny’ kind of way, do email me. And if you do happen to like it but are too scared to admit it because it somehow exposes you—email me eitherway. Let’s start an email thread of unhinged thoughts.

4. When I say I don’t like asking for help, it’s not an ego thing. It means I do not want my problem to be other people’s burdens. I fear inconveniencing others, that’s it. It’s never about the ego. stop shoving that narrative. Stop fueling my anxiety and my people pleasing tendencies because I will then resort to accepting help inorder to not be perceived as arrogant; or I will ask for help if the idea of being able to help pleases you, and that my asking for help is actually more to your benefit than it is to mine. So, thank you. Let me help you help me. 5. Barbenheimer. Of course, as a functioning person of society—but also thanks to Scene+ points for the free moves—we get to participate in the Barbenheimer phenomenon and we watched it in the way god intended to — back to back with only 5 minutes to spare inbetween movies.  I feel like I'm Barbenheimer to the core, having been raised by barbie dolls and war genre novels. I'm fully aware I've had a privileged childhood based on the toys I grew up with--barbie dolls, doll houses, polly pockets, cabbage patch kids, robots, trains, playstation 1s and an access to the internet at 8 years old which mean access to MyScene dot com.

I was a Nolee & Chelsea bias

6. Unsurprisingly, I don't feel so heartbroken about not getting tickets to the Eras tour. Maybe because my Swiftie-ness is simply just rooted on her way with words (and her celebrity personality!). The rest I believe is just really really good PR & marketing. Don't cancel me. This is accurate though:

I still stand by the things that she does on the mattress version (ok, maybe cancel me) 7. I'm about to turn a year older! Specifically the final number on the calendar (31). Again, always excited about birthdays regardless of age. And again, it always paves way for deep dives into my eras. I'm thankful to have been so cringe, because I've led my self to believe that I've let all the cringe out of my system. I'm glad I did loud and proud young, I'm glad I was never not my self no matter how bad the choices I made were. Sure, she could have been better, and sure she did things even if she knew better. But hey, you can only be young and cringe once. I'm closer to 40 than I have been 20. Shit. I promised my self that when I'm still alive by 40, I'll make change happen. For now, I still have 9 more years of simply allowing change to just happen. Exciting. 8. I honestly think I will miss school, in the most type A kind of way. I will miss the routines, learning something new, relearning something I thought I knew, feeling young, making friends in a classroom setting, accomplishing research papers, and just the idea of academia. Something I never really respected during my university days back home, but maybe because it never really felt they respected us students as well (it was a catholic school). Anyway, here's to hoping I find writing here a way to create a continuity in the routine; and more to hoping I continue to find happiness, satisfaction, and contentment in converting my thoughts & experiences into words to share with you, internet person.

[unreliablesnake]

Unmute (Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader)

Summary: You're in the middle of a meeting while Simon's around.

Note: I have listened to soooo many people talking because they didn't know they unmuted themselves since covid began. And the office jargon... Don't get me started on that one.

Warnings: None. It's fluff.

With a groan you threw your phone on the desk then unmuted yourself. "Okay, why don't you take this offline?" you asked, not even trying to hide your annoyance anymore.

Your co-workers were hesitating, one even brought up that the presentation had to be submitted today by EOD. You were glad you didn't turn on your cameras today, and you were sure as hell happy you had muted yourself again when this colleague pressed on, telling you all that she needed the exact and up-to-date numbers to work with.

Your boss knew you better than anyone from the call, so you weren't surprised to hear her silence that woman by saying, "Dave, let's circle back with Julie once you get the correct numbers, please."

"Will do," Dave said with a sigh.

You began to type a message to your boss on your phone, thanking her for putting an end to this bullshit when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Leaning your head back, you looked up and saw Simon watch you with a smile.

"Is it that entertaining?"

"This is your what? Fifth call today?" he asked, his thumb drawing circles on your skin. You quickly did the math in your head then nodded, confirming his words. "I have no idea how you do this on a daily basis. I'd rather have people trying to actively kill me all day long."

With a laugh, you turned your head just enough to kiss his knuckles. "You can get used to it," you told him.

Simon leaned down to kiss the top of your head before moving his hands around your body to pull you back against him. "Can I bring you anything?" he asked.

You returned your attention to the meeting again, hoping you didn't miss anything interesting, then looked back at him. "I could kill for a coffee."

"I'll get you one."

After you flashed a thankful smile at him, Simon went to the kitchen and you paid full attention to the meeting. They were back at it again, talking about a presentation that had absolutely nothing to do with this particular meeting. You quickly checked the list of participants and noticed your boss had left the meeting while you were preoccupied with your boyfriend.

Well, fuck. You were on your own.

Angry at the woman who just couldn't shut up, you unmuted yourself and said, "Julie, please, take this offline. Let's just return to the agenda, okay? Dave, you're done, I guess. Steven, you promised to show us the Q2 financial report, so why don't you begin?"

"Thank God," you heard him whisper, but his words were followed by shocked silence. "Oh, sorry, I thought I was still muted," he quickly apologized. "Anyway, I'll share my screen in a second, tell me if you see it."

You confirmed his screen was shared and he began his presentation. Simon returned in a minute, putting the cup in front of you before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. His big palm was resting on your shoulder, the contact making you purr like a kitten.

"So what's this?" he asked, keeping his lips close to your ear.

"Our latest financial report. Boring stuff," you explained with a laugh. "Seriously, I'd rather drown myself in you than listen to this. But sadly, I have no choice."

"Honey," Simon said quietly, "I think you're not muted."

Your eyes opened wide as you checked the screen and noticed he was right. "Shit, sorry," you quickly said before muting yourself.

In a matter of hours everyone and their mother would know what you just said. Simon only laughed as he went back to reading his book, while you were paying close attention to the presentation you had just called boring in front of about eighty people.

[fluffybutt-7]

Hi! I'm so sorry to hear about the major health scare you're going through. I really hope you'll get better soon. That's... really fucking scary. Since I read your post at the end of a 4500+ calorie day, it made me feel shitty for taking this risk, rather than proud or accomplished. I mean, I guess all gainers know on some level that they're doing something risky, but it's super easy to get carried away anyway. Were there any warning signs that you didn't recognize, which looking back maybe could have sent an early signal? Or anything that, looking back, you would have avoided if you had known? I'm asking because I'm hoping some of your followers -- including myself -- could learn something from the situation you're going through. If it's too personal or sensitive, or something you don't want to answer while you focus on recovery, I totally understand. All the best and take good care of yourself!

-N

Sooo honestly we don’t know what caused it. My family has a pretty heavy history of diabetes, and with me having COVID earlier this year we think that may have thrown me into it as well (we’ve seen that it’s happened to others as well, and we all know COVID does really fucking weird shit to your body). But, the doctors didn’t think it had to do with my weight. I didn’t even notice any changes until a few weeks before I went to the hospital- it came on very suddenly.

That being said, everyone’s body is different. I’ve seen gainers pack on weight faster than I did and be perfectly fine. I’ve seen some gain slowly and still have diabetes later. Yes there’s a risk to gaining- but it’s really kind of a gamble 🤷🏻‍♂️ I would say that if you are concerned about it, keep gaining but start having regular check ups with your doctor. That will help give you a good picture of how your body is responding to the weight. Most importantly, listen to your body! I probably stopped trying to gain around the beginning of July because I could feel something was off in my body, but I just didn’t know what. Maybe someday I’ll gain again, or maybe I’ll stay thin and find a cute boy to fatten up. Either way, the most important thing is to listen to your body, start seeing your doctor to monitor your body if it is something you’re concerned about, and do what makes you happy. ❤️

[destinyc1020]

I personally think that the reason behind the JE breakup was him switching up from saying/portraying to Z he wanted a committed relationship to wanting to "have fun" & mess around with other ppl. That's why imo he started hanging around the Tommy Dorfman/Kaia crowd a lot because he truly wants something casual and to be on that frankly *f-boy* mess rn in his life & while dating Z (since that crowd is known for lots of partying, dating in circles, wanting attention/calling paps, cheating, etc), but didn't really have the balls to say anything and admit he actually was experimenting/acting out of curiosity with being in a committed relationship with Z rather than that actually being his intention to commit.

I agree that something changed after Feb sometime after NYC and by June/July and Z realized what was happening and cut him off. I think it's possible he was cheating too (I think he was with all the rumors while he was dating Z and his history) but I don't think it was that obvious until after the fact of the breakup since Z didn't post her ("revenge/clapback" in a sense) braid selfies till the cheating stuff came out and nothing action wise from Z alluded to that during the summer if my memory serves right. It also makes sense bc if we look at JE's relationships prior to Z he has a history of getting girls, posting or showing them off giving them confidence he's really into them or serious, and then ghosts them like Cari or changes up to where he decides seemingly out of nowhere he wants someone else and cheats or is tired of the relationship like with Joey, and later Z.

I agree with you as well that Z was doing all those out of norm things to try to do things differently than w/Tom but also because I think Z had some level of reassurance or confidence initially to do so due to JE's persona and initial actions that led her to thinking JE was gonna be committed him w/him introducing her to his family so early on, the bond and "I know him" factor from the cast being close on Euphoria and all that. As a result, she thought doing those things meant she was maturing, growing, natural to do and felt this was the right relationship to actually start to change her previous behavior with, besides just the fact of wanting to change up bc of the breakup w/Tom imo.

JE (pretentious imo but nonetheless) also often speaks in interviews like he isn't like men his age and more emotionally intelligent, speaks constantly on how he wants to be a serious actor and taken seriously (though he don't act like it), put up the facade he hated the paps with him flipping off the paps w/Z, and constantly speaks on toxic masculinity through his fashion and in interviews as well. I bring this up to show and say, JE often portrays this more mature, "unique", shy, sensitive demeanor that Z probably identified with and thought she could trust hence the risks and out of norm behavior from Z taken.

Finally, imo this breakup made Z more angry than the Tom breakup, even before with Trevor because I think she felt deceived and led on intentionally to something that wasn't the reality and like she had been used emotionally/not respected while she was vunerable which is even worse than just blatant cheating. I think the comments he made about memes, LDR, and his weird, slight disses imo with the weird COVID-19 awareness rant he went on in response & to excuse himself from getting dragged that day on Twitter near/on Z's birthday or the Emmy "congrats", was from Z's perspective him trying to gaslight her for the relationship not working out and continuing on hence Claire and Darnell's subliminal toxic relationship posts and Z's not only anger, but I've noticed uptick in highlighting things in her life that remind her of her self-worth, support, and trusting her intuition/heart lately.

The Emmy win and boost in her career post JE, reassured that and I think Tom came in at the right time magically bc it reminded her of someone despite the issues in the relationship, who always respected her and was honest about where he wanted the relationship to go and they reconciled.

Sorry I wrote an essay, but yeah.

WOW!  You spoke a word here. 👏   First of all, how on earth were you able to post an anon so long without having to separate in parts lol? 😅  Were you using the app? Anyway... I won’t belabor some of your points and make this essay even LONGER, but I will just say that overall I agree w/your assessment.  And THIS paragraph right here:   

^^THIS!!!   DECEPTION is the perfect word.  That’s the word that comes to my mind too.  I really do think she feels/felt deceived/duped!  I honestly don’t think he was really who she thought he was.  Like you said, I think she thought she knew him because they worked on set for so long on Euphoria, but I don’t think she really knew him.  I can see too why (IF this is indeed what did happen in their relationship) Z could be a little hesitant about getting into another relationship rn. 😔   And like you said, just about every relationship (that I know of) in which JE has been in, it seems he’s either cheated on the girl, lost interest, or ghosted her until she “got the hint” (I suppose).  Something about him just gives me restless vibes.  Like, he can’t sit still for long...can’t be with someone for THAT long. Like, I really think he just gets BORED.  I think I would be SHOCKED if he had a relationship that lasted longer than 2 years lol.  I know he was with Joey for about a year, but he ended up cheating on her.... 😬   I know guys do dumb stuff when they’re young (I think he was like 20/21 back then?).... So... I get it.  Cheating on ONE gf is one thing.  But to have cheated on 3 or MORE girlfriends is just crazy to me!  🥴   And it wasn’t even like it was over a span of like 20 years or anything!  It was like back-to-back!   Ugh... Anyway....  Don’t even get me started on that sympathy IG story smh. 🤦‍♀️  And that Emmy IG story also sounded fake as idk what, and I think he only really posted something because he was getting hate from Z’s stans.  Cuz if he were genuine with his “congratulatory” message, then he would have liked her Emmy POST.  But he DIDN’T.  👀   I’ll NEVER forget that day.  Because people from all OVER were liking her post, commenting on her post, congratulating her, etc.  Even Diva Miss Mariah Carey herself took time out to make little comment hearts on her post!     But here he is actually her CO-STAR who works closely with her on the show that she won the Emmy for and likes NOTHING? Wow.... very telling.  Then, when he got dragged down the street by her fans lol, the next day, THEN he makes a “congrats” IG story for her. 🙄  Tbh I really don’t think he would have posted anything for her if he had not been dragged so hard. 

Anyway, I agree with you.  I think Z has realized that Tom is a genuine friend. 😊  I think she sees the stark contrast.  Idk what’s going on w/them atm (if anything), but at the very least I think they are in a much better place w/each other. 😊  

[daesungindistress]

AHOY This ask comes from a rp blog. But I've noticed in my years of kpopping and rping in the community people have shifted from love to dislike or hatred of BIGBANG. As someone who took a 6 year break from it all- I don't understand why people are shitting on them for? I read a old article about the burning sun scandal that involved 1 member. While i dont expect you to justify their dislike, do you know what's going on with bigbang lately? i know theyre coming out of military!

Hello! Thanks for the insight from the outside! (lol)

First: I don’t get Korea’s beef with BIGBANG. Or anyone’s for that matter. Yes, BIGBANG are no stranger to scandals, but you have to keep in mind that while some of their scandals have stemmed from legitimate issues, quite a few others have not – such as GD, while serving in the army, being accused of receiving “preferential treatment” while he was in the hospital recovering from surgery. Apparently it wasn't enough that the military spoke up twice in his defense, denying all such claims.

And let’s not forget last year when reporters went to the museum where TOP was fulfilling his military service as a public service worker, confronted him, and accused him of taking too many “sick leave” days, asking him about his reasons. They even reported that he’d taken a day off to see a dentist but found that the dentist was open one day a week after normal work hours and criticized him for not taking advantage of that (wtf!). The museum responded by firmly denying the accusation, explaining the situation, and condemning the reporters for “raising questions and reporting without fully comprehending the regulations.”

I could go on. Most only read the initial headlines and don’t follow up, so in a way it remains on the guys’ records forever. Stuff like this is why we VIPs were overall pretty slow to accept the situation with Burning Sun. Some still haven’t accepted it. BIGBANG collectively seem to find themselves at the center of a great deal of manufactured controversy and you could say we’re used to it. But Burning Sun… Burning Sun was immense, and was unlike anything BIGBANG had ever faced before. Because even though only one member was involved, for many people the nature of the controversy effectively broke trust in all the members – or at least planted a seed of doubt and distrust and fast-tracked its growth. It was severely disillusioning re: the image and ideals we hold these artists to. Also, you know: basic human decency. The problem here is guilt by association, which everyone has a different threshold for. This is something the remaining members are going to have to fight their way back from.

Which, I’m very happy to tell you, they are poised to do soon. Due to his involvement in the Burning Sun scandal, that one member left the group and retired from the music industry. So, what’s going on with BIGBANG lately? Well, they now have four members, all of whom have completed their military service (TOP was discharged last July, G-Dragon in October, Taeyang and Daesung in November) and have renewed their contracts with their agency, and they are reportedly working on new music with the goal of making a comeback this year!

Coachella was meant to be their comeback stage. They were supposed to perform as a group for the first time since enlistment tomorrow. Friday, April 10th. Sadly, the situation with COVID-19 has delayed the festival until October, and I think it’s for this reason that aside from Coachella, no official dates for their comeback have been announced yet… but speaking for myself, after all they’ve been through recently, knowing that they’re making preparations is enough for now. This time last year we were afraid they might disband. Yet here they are, persisting. Carrying on in this new form. They’re gonna make big waves when they jump back into the music scene. They always do.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

I got a few anons asking about my response to this anon (particularly to elaborate on this matter) but because I wanted to use quite a few pictures on this post, they're not gonna fit here. So if you sent me an anon about this just know that I saw it and here is a summary I wrote for you.

Even though Bolsonaro, the president of Brazil, could've purchased COVID vaccines from Pfizer as early as December 2020, he REJECTED these offers and joked the Pfizer vaccine could TURN PEOPLE INTO CROCODILES.

I am not joking.

No, in Portuguese this isn't an expression that means anything else. The president said exactly what he meant.

Since the publishing of this article, Brazil has surpassed the 300k death mark.

Speaking of deaths in Brazil, on March 23rd, over 3.2 thousand Brazilian people lost their lives to COVID. Compared to 892 Americans who died in the US on the same day.

Notice how deaths in the US (left) are DECREASING while in Brazil they are only INCREASING.... A LOT.

Notice too how the 7 day average of deaths in the US is just over 1k while in Brazil it's well over 2k, even though Brazil is less populated by ~100 million people.

Why is this happening when vaccination is supposed to be decreasing the number of cases and subsequently, deaths?

Because we DON'T HAVE VACCINES.

While the president delayed the purchase of COVID vaccines, other countries, particularly first world countries, managed to get their deals. Some first world countries, like Canada, are hoarding vaccine doses and have way more vaccines than they have people.

This means that now, even though the Brazilian government FINALLY struck a deal to buy 138 million vaccine doses from Pfizer and Janssen, these doses are only set to arrive around JULY-SEPTEMBER 2021. I'm 18 and my age group is only set to get vaccinated in August/September. A LOT of Brazilian people are going to die until then.

You might be thinking- just go into lockdown then.

The problem is that now, Brazilian people simply cannot AFFORD to go on lockdown.

The government has recently announced a new relief package. However, this package is of 250 reais per FAMILY.

250 Brazilian reais is not a lot of money. Especially not for a FAMILY to survive on during a lockdown. 250 Brazilian reais is not even 50 USD.

And this is only the SECOND relief package of the whole pandemic. The first of which was all the way back in the start of the pandemic, valued at 600 reais (just over 100 USD).

Brazilian people will starve if they go into lockdown.

Although Brazil has vaccinated around 12 million people, which for most countries, would be impressive, there are over 200 MILLION Brazilian people. Our population is roughly 2/3 of the US. But we have not vaccinated nearly 2/3 as many people and we will not for a very long time. And in that meantime, we will have more than our fair share of deaths.

Hospitals in many Brazilian cities are running out/already have run out of medication to intubate patients, meaning that Brazilian people will start dying simply because THEY CANNOT BE TREATED.

We have supplies to intubate patients for maybe another 2 weeks.

Not to mention that we are RUNNING OUT OF OXYGEN.

In all honesty, I have no idea what other countries could do to help. Although Venezuela has already written the UN a letter to investigate the Brazilian government's mismanagement of the pandemic, Latin American countries have little impact in organisations like this. I wish a larger, more influential country would do the same, but I doubt that any will.

I hope this has perhaps helped foreigners gain a better understanding of why Brazilian people are so PISSED OFF.

My best friend and I got our first vaccine shots for COVID today! :D

How it feels to watch gringos get vaccinated when you live in Brazil and the president literally rejected a bunch of vaccine purchase offers and we've only vaccinated 12 million out of 200+ million people

[veterveter]

Hey hey, it's gay bike anon again! I'm more than honoured to get my own tag!!! I definitely would like to keep talking to you <3 And only love for you too <3

I'll gladly wait for your response to my ask (or asks??? we'll see one day ehehehe)! I feel you, when people cite some of my text messages from a few months (or more) ago I'm often like "nope, nah-ah, that's not me, you're wrong". Same for older essays, I often can't believe I wrote those. And even with things I wrote late at night a few weeks ago, sometimes I'm like "I wrote that? That monstrosity??? Okay, I need more sleep before writing". (My capacity of writing in correct English grammar usually goes to sleep before I do, same goes for varied word choice). But sometimes I'll see this project I've worked on YEARS ago and exactly recognize the pieces I wrote? Since the ask would be fairly recent, I suppose I would recognise my writing style and word choice and since I didn't wrote it whilst sleep deprived (I hope??) I'm setting my chances of recognising it pretty high. But we'll see one day, the mystery will marinate for a while... [I am rereading this in the daytime, and this is EXACTLY what I meant, at night I make the weirdest word choices?? I’m definitely not changing it though because I might find it kinda funny]

I snorted so hard about the way you talked about your almost-name, I'm giggling here like crazy. Apparently my name means something alike 'dedicated to God', but my parents aren't really believers, so gotta love that. The meaning of my sibling's name is 'summer', but I'm the one born in the summer, whilst my sibling is born in autumn, oops. Guess my parents never checked one of those sites/ books where you can find the meaning of a name hahaha.

I love how my ask was so weird and chaotic that you sent a screenshot to a friend. I LOVE that she had no idea what was going on. Then again, I watched the semis (obviously hahaha) but I had no idea what was going on either... But honestly it was peak Dutch culture, water and bicycles, I would just add an ode to 'hagelslag' and voila, the entirety of Dutch culture summed up... [Also: if you don't know: 'hagelslag' is just sprinkles which we eat on bread, yes, on bread, we do not not only eat sprinkles as on cake or on donuts, like in any other country, no, we put it on bread. It's actually a really popular sandwich topping here. My ultimate favourites are the chocolate ones, but you also have them in several fruity flavours (like forest fruit) and anise flavour.] Thank you, perfect chaotic energy is an ultimate goal I strive towards *bows like I'm Victorian royalty or something*

You're absolutely right, it went EXACTLY like that. Specifically, I would be studying for my exams, explaining topics to myself like I always do, so I'd tell myself "The six possible origins of economies of scope are indivisibility, specialisation, marketing, research and development, GUESS WHAT.. SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA... ehhh... what was I doing again??" OR: "one of the most detailed and most used models of responsive regulation is Brathwaite's piramid. His enforcement piramid visually shows, nope not important, SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍAAAAAA" And I'd laugh, continue explaining theories and calculations to myself until my focus started lessening again and my thoughts would wander off again. I am VERY glad I'm not the only one who thinks about it from time to time, and I'm glad you're not suing me for any mental harm yet.

Yess, those pictures I saw from Promising Young Woman look so beautiful and aesthetic!! I'll probably watch it somewhere after the 16th, because I'll most likely have finished my last exams by then. I'll tell you what I thought about it! Thank you SO SO SO much for all the luck wishes!!!! I had an exam last Friday and I absolutely rewarded myself, because it went better than I expected and I passed an earlier exam and a paper too! I didn't buy myself a tricorne (yet), but I did buy funko pops (my inner economist said it was 100% rational because it was a really good deal hahaha). I still have two exams to go, so I could always buy a tricorne for finishing either of those, OR. EVEN BETTER. I'll ask my parents (or my grandparents) for one for my birthday. I mean, that would be hilarious. They'd be so confused. They've never seen S3 and S4 of LCDP so they'll have no idea, even if I tried to explain it. It would be so incredibly funny (and really really weird for them), I am laughing like crazy just at the thought of it.

I've never been in Finland before, but those temperatures do not sound legal indeed. I have no knowledge of Finnish law, but maybe article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, the prohibition of torture, would work? If I was the judge I’d 100% agree, so we should all sue the weather sksksks. I'm glad to have brought you rain though (and that I apparently possess the power to do so - magic weather controlling pirate seems like a nice enough job to me)!!! I hope the temperature has become at least somewhat lower. You're right, climate change should just... stop... right away. The weather is pretty weird here, right now: one day it will be super sunny and (at least) around 27 degrees and almost melting away, and the other day it will be raining and I'll be wearing my warmest sweater. Like, why the extremes??

I love that I am able to make you lose your coherent thoughts (that's probably why we have one brain energy about Underwater, because I, too, have the ability to make myself lose my coherent thoughts). I'm glad for your faith in my impersonation of Martín. I even started Duolingo Spanish again, and now know the phrase, "Yo bebo leche" (I drink milk) which obviously would be very important to him. Now I'll just need an Argentinian accent to go with it. Leaning menacingly on a cane would be GREAT, I love the idea. I'll open job applications for a Denver. Maybe my cat could help me, she, much like Denver, is super loud and she is super aggressive towards other cats, so there is potential there. And guiding dogs and even tiny guiding horses exist, why not a guiding cat?

I always assumed I would follow a more... you know… legal... career path, maybe even literally a career in law. But, my accounting professor also showed us how to manipulate financial statements ("so you can notice when people are doing this", uh-huh sure, sure that’s why) and another professor of mine also said that a criminal career sometimes could be the more rational, rewarding choice over a legally acceptable career. So, I suppose I should not be surprised by this sudden change of career plans. I should have seen this coming. And what better way to be able to avoid the laws than by knowing exactly what they are and how far you can go. And if that plan doesn’t work out, the books of law I have (they’re combined in two huge hardcover bundles) are really heavy and you could probably harm someone with them if you hit hard enough… Well, I suppose you can even leave “hard” away, just by hitting someone softly with those books you can bring serious harm to them… Ah, and like that one professor would say: in this scenario it would be a rational choice to become a pirate instead of a privateer. Oh dear, not Arturito :/ Mutiny would seem like a good option, I’ll take over the ship and become Palermo the Pirate. Sounds much and much better than “Arturo the Pirate”, since that isn’t an alliteration, sooo mutiny is reasonable even for that reason. And then there’s the fact that it’s Arturo, I mean, that says enough.

YOU LOVE UNDERWATER TOO????!!!! I completely forgot that you posted that! It seems we do indeed already have one shared braincell energy my friend <3

Last week has been pretty good (except for having to make a test at 9:30, what a godless time, I’m usually barely awake by then ehehehe), I think I aced the test I had, got back some good grades and finally got my first Covid vaccination (and only shortly slight dizziness as a side effect, so that's pretty great). And thanks so much!!! For now I’m safe from Gandía, but somewhere in mid-July I’ll have to take an exam on campus, so I’ll might be able to bring out my inner Palermo then.

How was your week? If the weather is still unkind to you (well, also if the weather *is* kind to you), treat yourself to your favourite ice cream and a break every now and then <3 Do you already have holidays or hasn’t your academical year ended yet?

You’re also right - this is conversation and we’re friends now <3 And I absolutely do like cookies! I would say my favourites are american cookies (though stroopwafels are reaally good as well) but honestly there are only a few kinds of cookies that I don’t love that much. And anything with chocolate in it is GREAT. I do also love apples and bananas, though grapes (which I just had) are even better! What’s your favourite kind of cookie?

Also, I know I have been giving you so many prompts already, but I saw this one in that list you reblogged and it gave me so much Berlermo energy: you live in an apartment with your best friend. the two of you always fall asleep in each other's arms, but one day, your friend isn't there. they've fallen in love with someone else. it's your other best friend, who recently moved in with you. and that's when you realize, that those nights you spent together, weren't so platonic after all. I would love it if you’d write it, but if you decide not to that’s absolutely fine too, no worries <3

By the way, I was going to post this quite a bit earlier, but my laptop (unlike me) decided yesterday night, when I was finishing writing this, that it was time to sleep, so I had to quickly dump this whole rant in Google Docs (it’s almost two and a half pages what the heck) and I was busy all day so I only was able to upload it just now. I swear I can ractually espond faster than after a week :) Have a lovely evening, much love from the gay bike country <3

Heeeeeeey you are back!!! How happy am I to see my favouritest gay bike anon return to my inbox!!! 💕 [Author's note: You can tell I started this reply right away because you've sent me three or four asks since this one and one can tell you are indeed back hahaha]

Yeeeeeees this is how one makes friends!! You know, I was just thinking the other night of how "gay bike anon" shortens to GBA, like the Game Boy Advance, you know. Make of that what you will, but it pleases me to know that you can also have a cute nickname for your cute nickname. Nicknameception.

Yes, exactly that, "I did not write that, and if I did in fact write that.. No I did not." Also, "the mystery will marinate"??? That's an amazing word choice and some day I will absolutely use it for something, just you wait. I think it just goes to show that you should write everything while tired, haha.

Haha I love that naming convention for you. It may make very little sense, but....... but. Also, happy birthday for whenever it is, presumably in the nearby past or future!! Lots of love!! You're the summer child while your sibling is... a summer child, but like, different.

Since you appreciated my almost-name story, I'll reward you with the rest of it: so my name is Tuuli, which is Finnish for "wind". My mum originally wanted to name me Pilvi, which means "cloud". And then she was like oh no this child is not at all serene and cloud-like??? and thus, a new me. I'm glad she had second thoughts, although I wonder if having such an ill-fittingly chill name would've done anything to alter my personality? Nomen est omen and all. There's some kind of an alternate universe where all of that played out, but I'm glad it's not this one.

Yeah either you watched the semis and have no idea, or you didn't watch them and have no idea. There is no way to get what was going on there, I'm certain they themselves also didn't get it. I had no idea about hagelslag but thjipgnhefjpihjo that's amazing, I love that for you!!!! There was absolutely no reason to go there but you as a country just... did that. Amazing. Please have some and report to me so I can live through you. And also, you are absolutely legit Victorian royalty [or something] *bows in return*. Also, I do love how you say "I watched the semis (obviously)." Imagine if you didn't and this entire time I was tragically misinterpreting the nature and intentions of your ask and you were just rolling with it because you've no idea what I'm on about but are also too polite to tell me that. Khhhhhhh

Your brain has priorities!!!! And they're honestly beautiful. Well done, brain. Subway driver Gandíaaaaaaaaaa~~~ My brain is filled with Berlermo quotes that come @ me at random times during the day and leave me just a tad shell-shocked, remembering how it all went down. I'm eating my morning yoghurt and my brain goes yo te propuse fundir oro juntos, and I'm just there like :)))))) Real nice, brain.

Have you had the opportunity to see Promising Young Woman yet? Hhhhh it's so pretty, every time I work on this reply [it's a lot of times, okay, I'm very diligent about this, I stare at this ask and craft snazzy replies in my head all the time, that's why I'm so slow in... actually replying] I'm reminded of that. I'm not a very visual person but the colours and the framing... that was really nice.

I am somewhat glad you've not been to Finland yet, you must hit me up when you come visit, I'll take you for coffee!!! It's actually cooler now (bless!!!!!!!!!!!), the last... four days have been reasonable 14-20 degrees, after four consequtive weeks of 25+. Kkhhhh thinking back to it makes me feel a little ill, but now beret weather is back. I own a lot of berets, dear gay bike anon. I'm going to my university city for the weekend and I'm already wondering which beret(s) I should bring with me. This is an important decision with potential long-lasting consequences. I don't know if you've played any of Telltale's games (The Wolf Among Us and the first two seasons of The Walking Dead are the best ones, fight me), but when you make a decision and the game goes "This character will remember that." and you instantly go oh no what have I done??? That's how I feel about choosing the perfect beret for my city outing. But yes, weather extremes are just the worst. We've been having the longest drought I've ever seen here (it's still not properly rained, for the record, on Tuesday it rained for an hour or so) while in other places there's awful flooding. That's awful.

Ahhh I'm so happy you're continuing your Spanish-learning!! I took a beginner's course at uni in the spring semester, I'm going to take the next one when uni resumes in September. And yes, I'm studying it for LCDP. I mean I love languages in general, but I never had a particular need to study Spanish, until this year I suddenly did. I'm also Duolingo-ing it! Very slowly and steadily. Also, I adore the idea of your cat being your Denver. What's your cat's name??? What do they look like?? Tell me everything, you can't just leave it at my cat, you simply must allow me to meet them. Also, you know why guide cats aren't a thing? Because cats are the worst. I love cats, but you can't just teach them to do useful things. They'll do them if they want to. As I type this, my cat is trying to catch flies at my feet. Her name is Muusa.

I studied accounting for my undergrad!! So I can join you in [[[preventing]]] tax fraud and [[[recognising]]] tampering with financial statements. We can make a totally legitimate business out of it. No but truly, I'm certain we were taught some of those things with the expectation that our future employers would expect it of us. Capitalism is so fun :)))))) And you shouldn't be surprised, academia is but a stepping stone to crime, honestly. Any dark academia book will tell you this. You start out learning Latin and wearing turtlenecks, you end up with murder. That's just how academia works. And you seem to have already chosen your weapon... you're well on your way. :) Palermo the Pirate sounds great!!! I support your mutiny. I don't think I said, but this is my favourite word of the English language. Mutiny. Mutiny????? It doesn't sound very serious. It sounds cute, actually. I love it.

I'm so happy to hear you got your covid vaccine!!!! I had mine a month ago or so - I typed you a reply to the subway Gandía thing on the train ride back, actually. I was really stressed about getting it on my right arm, because I'm left-handed, and last time I got a vaccination (like a decade ago) they insisted on giving it on my left arm and I was sad :( But this time!! I got it on my chosen arm and was very pleased. So anyway, that was a segue. I'm glad you got your covid shot and were side effect -free!!!

My week has been good, thank you!! I went to my uni city for my niece's birthday on Monday, and as said I'm going back on Friday (tomorrow). So this time in between has felt like exactly that, time in between. I started reading Call Me By Your Name. I had my Korean class last night. Now I'm hanging out with my cat (she has stopped chasing flies and climbed to my lap) and talking to you. My holidays started already in May! And uni resumes in the beginning of September, but I'm a tutor for new students so I need to show up three weeks earlier for the orientation weeks. Yes, we do three weeks of orientation (read: three weeks of drinking). It's a bit insane.

Now I need to ask you again how your week has been, since I'm so slow. How has your week been?? Are you free from your exams?? When does your uni resume?

Stroopwafels are so good ahhh I'll have to buy them when and or if I see them. Possibly when I'm in central Europe but haha I can hope to be lucky and see them at a store with imported stuff, you know. My favourite cookies??? Omg maybe these ones - they have this truffle filling, and they're fun to eat (this is important in cookies, you see):

And of course they're Fazer. Because Finnish people have only one setting, apparently. Or maybe that's just me. But all cookies are great, honestly. I like making American cookies, that's always a fun pastime (and you get to have cookie dough, that's like half the fun). I've actually not made them for a lifetime??? Maybe I should, soon. I'll keep you updated. Also, brookies. I love making brookies, they're great.

I really really appreciate being given prompts, I hope you know that!! Thank you!! Consider me pocketing this prompt and maybe eventually some day theoretically getting back to you about it!! You're right - it has Berlermo energy. Insofar as either of them actually have other friends. :)

Thank you for this kind message, dear gay bike anon <3 I'd apologise for my slowness in replying but I think I'd rather you just assume that I'll get back to you, and thank you for your patience <3 Your kind and funny and chaotic asks always brighten my day. I hope you'll have a great rest of the week and just... all the nice and fun and good things and great vibes in life. All the best, dear gay bike anon <3 Take care!! And greetings from Muusa as well - she just yawned and I presume that means "greetings".