#i don't even care if that means I have to deal with an insane horde of angry drunk stupid customers all night tonight

[veshialles]

how to get clockier

how to be more visible as a tranny dyke

how to stop passing

how to strike terror into the hearts of cishet men who think they can share their bigoted thoughts to me without consequences, but also inspire unbridled affection and lust into the hearts of trans people everywhere

[antispopausandstuff]

i debated just not replying to this at all, but why not?

everyone else, don't harass this person, please. should go without saying, but just making sure.

to start off, i didn't say it had to be exactly like the movie. i was simply comparing the differences and why Catra doesn't have sympathy or a desire to see her redeem herself from me. you came to that conclusion on your own.

second, where is your evidence that Catra committed war crimes, abused multiple people, killed Angella, and was at least partially responsible for Horde Prime finding Etheria in the first place was from a source of her supposed self-loathing? or are you saying that her lack of proper accountability in s5 is from that self-loathing? either way, that doesn't make sense.

if you mean the former, from the very first episode, Catra's goals aligned with the Horde's, taking over Etheria and destroying the Rebellion, and the moment Adora stepped out of the circle, Catra retaliated by hurting her and threatening to do it again for the sake of bringing everything back to the status quo and eventually taking over the Horde themselves, which Adora never wanted.

she always wanted power to look down on the ones who looked down at her first ( mainly Shadow Weaver ), and used Adora to get it rather than actually putting in any work herself.

just because she supposedly deals with self-loathing in s4, after she killed Angella, nearly destroyed the entire universe, tried to commit a murder-suicide, sent Entrapta to Beast Island, essentially a death sentence, and threatened to do the exact same thing to Scorpia, who had been nothing but supportive and trying her best to understand Catra, if she didn't stay quiet, lied to Hordak about Entrapta's loyalty, and was overall the worst fucking person because of one moment she doesn't even think about anymore, doesn't mean that it was because she hated who she became. and even if she did, what exactly does that take away? nothing.

her spiraling in s4 ( after repeatedly spiraling already in previous seasons, mind you ) wasn't anything but self-pity, self-justification, and being an abusive authority figure, just like Shadow Weaver and Hordak, to the point not even Scorpia wanted her. she spirals because no one wanted to be around an abusive, violent, lying piece of garbage and she ends up alone. the only even somewhat stable relationship she had, with DT, was entirely because she had nothing on them to use against them.

DT was untouchable, so they were the only one Catra couldn't have abused or take advantage of.

if you mean the latter, this isn't nuance. it's called character assassination. Catra didn't care about approval before, didn't care about being seen as a monster before, she didn't care about any of that, especially after s3.

her supposed self-loathing results in her putting Adora in more danger, making Glimmer panic without care, and making everything even worse for Etheria. so, again, what does that change? nothing.

her apology is empty, meaningless, and far too late.

it's the same with her sacrifice, honestly.

throughout the entire time Adora tries to save her, it's a mix of victim-blaming, self-pitying, and when it seems like she finally turned around, accepting Adora's help, she turns right back and becomes insanely hostile for no good reason other than just because.

after Taking Control, she doesn't actually change, either. she just gives even more empty apologies, is hostile with Glimmer and Bow, constantly insults everyone, her 'anger issues' aren't ever being worked on again, implied Scorpia is a coward, continued to blame Adora for her 'abandonment', when it was entirely Catra's fault that she was still in the Horde, did nothing to help the Rebellion or Adora, complained when Frosta, rightfully, attacked her ( where did that guilt go, huh? ), did absolutely fuck all to help Adora with the Failsafe, then shoved and yelled at her for 'choosing' Shadow Weaver over her, all before finally gaslighting her for the millionth time by claiming she's always loved her, and STILL believing she was the one left behind by saying "so, please, just this once, stay!".

i won't deny Catra is self-destructive. that's obvious. but hating herself? that is a stretch. and, even if she did, people are still dead, people are still abused, Entrapta still almost died, Horde Prime still found Etheria, and all they got in return is "i'm sorry".

and what the fuck is that last sentence?

( warning - vent // trauma dumping. sorry. )

"if you withhold sympathy for someone because they don't immediately understand what they did wrong and how to do better, you never actually cared about helping that person in the first place."

okay.

first off, you don't know shit.

i've given sympathy to people who didn't deserve it, and guess what? now i'm a victim of abuse and have my family being stalked, yippee. and guess how many apologies i've gotten that resulted in the person actually working on changing? one. who was the person? my own fucking mom, because she's the only one i could depend on out of everyone else in my life and she knew that. she knew she had to be better for my siblings and for me.

but i'm still a victim. that's not changing. the only person that changed for me was because they knew that, if they didn't, i'd be entirely alone, because no one else wanted me. she wanted me. so, don't you dare fucking say that i never cared about helping the people that ended up taking advantage of me and abusing me even more, because i fucking did.

in terms of the people who didn't abuse me and simply just fucked up, i've forgiven those people, because i knew they just messed up and we could talk it out.

and you act like having sympathy for someone means that you have to forgive them and accept what they throw at you in order to help them heal. you don't.

i have someone in my life who is actively making their life worse, again, and i have sympathy for them. i understand that they're a victim of severe abuse, likely have C-PTSD, amongst several other mental issues, but i am only one person and i can't help someone who won't help themselves, especially when that person has a tendency to be violent or aggressive.

same thing for most of my extended family, to be honest. i understand generational trauma, but i will not help people who won't help themselves and don't even see themselves as being the problem, no matter how many conversations have been had over at least two decades.

second off, i never said that Catra had to immediately try to be better. i said that Catra should've had remorse for hurting Adora if she genuinely cared about her. but she continued to scar her, physically, emotionally, mentally, and there is nothing in the world, in the universe, in anything, that could excuse or reason that.

i don't care if Catra was supposedly hating herself or believing she was undeserving of love. i don't care if she felt so guilty that she ended up expressing it in the most roundabout ways. i don't care if she became someone she never wanted to be.

because that's not what the show said until the final season. after she terrorized, killed, abused, lied, manipulated, threatened, all of this shit, because Adora dared to walk away from the Horde, even after offering her a safe space.

sympathy can only go so far, and the message you're sending could, and has, put people in danger.

if Catra really thought she was a monster this whole time, then she never would've hated Adora for leaving in the first place. but she did. and she wanted to make her suffer, make Etheria suffer, make the universe suffer, because of it.

i don't care.

here's the thing:

if the show really wanted Catra to hurt Adora, then fine.

but the problem is that there is no remorse.

bear with me, but let's look at the 2007 TMNT movie for comparison.

Raph and Leo were at odds, because Raph was hurt that Leo left and then came back expecting everything to be more or less the same, while Leo was hurt that Raph seemed to hate him for trying to be a better leader for him and the others.

in Leo's time away, Raph became a vigilante, which could've ended badly for their family ( they were in hiding ), and Leo had a justifiable reason to be angry about it, but Raph had a justifiable reason to be angry at Leo, too.

they were both in the wrong and in the right, in a sense.

however, after their verbal and physical fight, Raph's senses began to click in and he realized that he had just hurt Leo. while he wanted to show that he was better off without him, Raph never wanted to hurt his brother to prove that. at the same time, Leo realized just how strong his little brother had gotten in his time away, so, maybe he didn't need actually him anymore.

Raph runs away, because he realized he messed up. we see it in his face, the realization, processing what he just did, and how he's essentially afraid of that.

we don't see this with Catra. if Catra had a moment of anger, where she hurt Adora really badly, but came with this realization of what exactly she's doing, then sympathy and growth would have more room for her. but the problem is that none of this exists.

even when they're young, Catra never apologizes to Adora for hurting her in any way. it's always Adora apologizing for making Catra upset about this or that, even when, most of the time, didn't actually do anything to Catra herself.

and, when they're older, Catra still doesn't actually hold herself accountable for anything, while Raph is wracked with guilt over Leo and him being kidnapped, not being able to save him. it's to the point where Raph is completely self-deprecating, saying he understands why Splinter chose Leo as the better son, when that isn't the case.

if you want a hotheaded character to hurt someone and be redeemed, then you have to show them having remorse for the actions they took. unless it was justified, obviously.

honestly, if c//a's dynamic was inspired by Leo and Raph's in the movie, then Catra would've garnered a lot of empathy from me, too. but it's more of a bastardization, if anything.

[lemondelightful]

Together Again

Dsmp Fanfic. Niki Nihachu x Reader

===================================

You ran as fast as you could you were on half a heart and you sure as hell not losing 105 levels of XP to a zombie horde. As you started to regenerate, the sounds of the undead groans grew closer. You took a breath before going in for round two. All you were trying to do was get back to the Syndicate room because Technoblade wanted to meet with you but no, you were dealing with this. God, Technoblade is going to give you a scolding when you tell him about this.

=============

You finally made it to the Syndicate room where Phil and Techno were discussing something. It was really none of your business to know what they were talking about, most likely it wasn't anything that concerns you.

"Woden, your finally here." Techno joked, using your code name as well was just an insult.

"Okay, I get the code names but seriously couldn't I have gotten a better one?" You asked, slouching your shoulders forward.

"Well Y/N we had a limited options for you." Techno said, making Phil snicker. You gave him a look, Techno nodded knowingly. "Anyways, Y/N, we you to gather intel on Niki."

"Nemesis, why would you need Intel on her?" You asked, usually you wouldn't ask this question, but Niki is apart of the Syndicate and is one of the most trustworthy person on the server. Just like Phil was reading your mind, he interjected.

"She might be trustworthy but she's also gullible. I mean you saw what happened." Phil said shrugging his shoulders.

"Wow, Phil, way to put salt in the wound." You said, crossing your arms, silently judging him. Phil pressed his lips together, nodded and looked away.

"Rember Woden, Niki doesn't know that you're apart of the Syndicate. So she might not suspect anything."

"And if she does?" You asked, he smirked, looking at Phil.

"We make her gather Intel, on you."

=============================

You were off to find Niki, you didn't know where she could be, you knew she had an underground city but you had no idea where it was located.

So you went to Niki's old bake place. It was more even more destroyed than last time you'd seen it, you weren't there but from what you heard, she went insane when L'manburg blew up a second time. It's not like you don't feel bad, it just sounds like a sob story you'd tell to win a talent show.

Sighing, you went on again to find Niki, ending up in Las Nevadas for a few days, you knew the chanes of Niki being here was low but that's why you came and checked.

Turns out, Quakity had a side slime who is really bad at trying to convince people that they're human. Did it shock you to think that Quakity wouldn't stoop to this low of a level as to manipulate such a pure young man, no, of course not. It was fun hanging out Foolish though, it's always a pleasure with him.

But not long after Las Nevadas, Snowchester was your next stop, knowing Niki, Snowchester isn't a bad place to be, it's safe and calm until something happens to Tommy or Micheal. It was good catching up with them, although you completely forgot about the whole mission you were on.

Your next stop was Kinoko kingdom, that's where Ranboo told you she had been staying near, or at least around the area. Thank God Ranboo has a memory book or else you would have no fuckin lead.

Of course, when you got there you were bombarded with questions from Karl, he hadn't seen you since the whole eggpire thing. Sapnap was way to quiet for you, it seemed like something was wrong but it didn't want to question him, and George, well, he's just George.

Sapnap, after a few hours for your stay, confronted you about what has been happening with Karl, about how hes been forgetting things and people around him and how he's stressed out about Karl forgetting him too. You weren't the best at comforting people but you did your best trying to sooth him and his worries, you didn't know if they worked but, hey you tried and that's all that matters because now he knows you care.

You, obviously not seeing any signs of Niki being there, you left and started to walk back to the Syndicate room. It was a waste of time, you found nothing about Niki and have no idea where she has been hiding out.

===============

You sat in the Syndicate room, waiting for Technoblade to come and see you. Of course whose voice you didn't except to hear was Niki's, followed by Techno's. You didn't know he bringing guests over. You waited a little longer until they were both staring at you, sitting in Niki's seat.

"Hey guys. Missed me much." You said smiling. Niki looked at Techno panicked, picking up her bow. "Wow, Niki, it's just me your old friend."

"You're not my friend, I don't even know you anymore." She said, pulling back her bow, ready to fire. Techno walked over to his seat and broke the news to Niki.

"Niki, Woden is the newest member of the Syndicate." Techo said, holing his hands in front of him. "You can't get rid of them forever, it was only time."

"Yeah, babe, didn't you miss me." Niki gritted her teeth, holding back what she wanted to say as you smiled with passion. "Now, come give me a hug, I know you missed me." You held out your arms excepting for Niki to run into them, and you were right.

She was holding you tightly, sobbing into your arms, she really did miss you, I mean, you knew that, she was to predicable, it was fun running around the sever though, even if it was a waste of time that you could've been using taking care of other more important things, but this makes up for it.