#i don't do huge revising with requests but that's something i noticed when reading this over?

[codevassie]

CV: Heck yeah you can suggest shatt! This ask was so much fun to write for, though apparently I don’t know how to write pranking?? lol but it was a learning experience. Thank you for your awesome request and I hope you enjoy!!

“Takashi Shirogane?”

“Yes, Matthew Holt?”

“Would you do the honor of putting this pathetic student out of his miserable existence?”

“Hmm…” Shiro hummed, studying a paper with interest. “No, I'm afraid I'm all booked in terms of scheduling.”

Matt huffed. “Shiro, I know all you're doing for the rest of the day is grading.”

“Yep,” Shiro answered simply and Matt groaned, flopping across the table dramatically, spreading his arms over to ruffle Shiro's many papers. As a TA, he was always surrounded by them.

“So you would rather look over these little goblins’ papers then put your poor, poor friend out of his misery?”

“Mmmhmm,” Shiro confirmed. He was trying to play it cool, but Matt could see the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. It was time to lay it on extra thick.

“Shiiiiroooo,” he whined in the most pathetically annoying way possible. Shiro looked up from the paper, red pen still poised for critiquing. “Please, I'm dying over here.”

Shiro chuckled, putting down his pen. “If you're dying already, why have me do it?”

“It's called mercy,” Matt sat up. He started to collect his own textbook and papers, shoving them into his bag. “And it's time to go award some flight students theirs.”

“Matt, no. Leave the poor sufferers alone,” Shiro pleaded, but Matt was already standing and swinging his bag across his shoulders.

“No can do, Kashi,” Matt said, catching the flush across Shiro's face at the nickname. Matt loved that color on Shiro's face. Matt loved Shiro's face. “One sufferer to another, this is for the best. I'm dropping my stuff at my dorm. Meet me in hall F if you're joining.”

“I have too much work,” Shiro continued to plead, but Matt could already sense his defenses crumbling. “It's midterm season.”

Matt was already walking away. Over his shoulder he called, “F Hall!” before darting out of the study room and to the dormitories.

-/-

Matt took his time knowing that Shiro would at least finish with the paper he was on before following, so, by the time he got to F Hall, Shiro was already there, waiting.

When Shiro saw him coming down the hall, he immediately crossed his arms. “Are we meeting here because of the sound system, or is that just a coincidence?” he asked, looking amused. Matt walked up to him and shrugged his shoulders, smirking.

“Oh, that's weird. Must be coincidence.”

“What are you up to?” Shiro asked, squinting at him like he could uncover all his secrets as simply as reading them across his face.

“Follow me,” Matt suggested, and walked past. When they stopped in front of the locked door to the room where they kept the old sound system, Matt held out his hand to Shiro. “Key.”

“You think I have a key to this place?” Shiro asked. “I'm a TA.”

Matt didn't retract his hand. Shiro sighed.

When Matt had unlocked the door with Shiro's key, he handed it back and walked in, heading straight for the tall contraption. Shiro followed, taking in the room much more leisurely.

“Shiro, help me pick out a song,” Matt called, and Shiro walked over. Sitting next to the sound system on the floor, the scrolled through Matt's phone.

“No, not that one,” Matt rejected, then clicked on another song. Shiro wrinkled his nose.

“No,” he rejected this time. “What about-”

“Maybe. Or-”

“Hm, I guess. But what about-”

For a while, they sat there going through Matt's music library, the clock ticking away unawares. Maybe they would have been more worried about getting caught if not for the absolute chaos that was midterms. No one paid a lick of attention, even at a military type school like this, during times like this.

But they were running out of time to play for the flight students, who would be getting out of class in another ten minutes. Finally, Matt had to put his foot down.

“We've gotta pick something.”

Shiro just laughed. Matt loved Shiro's laugh. “You're the indecisive one here.”

“Then you pick something!” Matt whined and Shiro laughed again. He plucked the phone from Matt's grip and clicked a song.

“There,” he said, handing it back. Matt looked at it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Shiro said. Matt sighed, then stood up to plug it into the system. After that, it was simple enough to boot up and reroute to the flight simulation deck. He cranked the volume, then, before pressing play, opened up another app on his phone where he had hacked into the security feeds so they could watch the reception of their gift.

Once Matt punched the play button, the reaction was almost instantaneous.

You could see it had worked by the slight jolt that rippled throughout the class. Eyes widened, backs straightened, heads swiveled as if looking for the source of the noise. The instructor had a suspicious look in her eye, as if trying to suss out which of her students was messing with her.

They had turned it on just as a team left the simulation too, who immediately looked relieved to have the attention drawn away. Matt noticed Keith among them, looking less relieved like the students and more suspicious like the teacher. He stood awkwardly next to the two others, arms crossed and eyes narrowed at the ceiling where the speakers lay.

However, it seemed the rest of the class were slipping out of their surprise now, and coming to their senses. And that was when the dancing started.

“Whoo!” Matt cheered, bumping his shoulder with Shiro's and moving to the beat. Shiro chuckled and swatted at his arm, still looking at the screen. The instructor was wearing a severe frown. The group from the simulation had moved back to their peers, some dancing themselves. Keith was smirking now, looking on but not necessarily joining.

Shiro looked up and Matt put the phone down. He spun on the heel of his foot and hollered again. “Let's dance!”

And they danced together, bopping to the beat and laughing when they tried out ridiculous moves. Shiro did a weird roll with his body, then pointed at Matt. Matt did the sprinkler, then grabbed Shiro's hand so they could do a really small, really lame wave.

Matt loved Shiro's lame dancing.

As the song came to an end, Matt looked back at the screen and noticed the simulation deck had all but been evacuated. His stomach dropped.

“Shit, we've got to get out of here!”

Shiro's eyeballs nearly popped out of his head as the realization came to him too, and, while Matt quickly grabbed his phone, Shiro whipped out his key. When they darted into the hall Matt yelled to just leave it when Shiro tried to lock back up the door and they scrambled down the hall.

“I hear footsteps,” Shiro hissed, grabbing Matt's hand and stopping them abruptly. Sure enough, the sound was rapidly increasing up the hall where they were heading. “In here!” Shiro exclaimed and, before Matt could tell where they were going, he was yanked into a dark, tight space.

“Is this-” Matt asked, trying to catch his breath from running. “Is this a storage closet?”

“Did you have a better idea?”

Matt wasn't sure what to say back to that, because, no, he hadn't had a better idea, but he was going to say something until he heard footsteps running past the door. He stiffened, the tension rippling through the air as they waited for them to pass.

Then, they broke out laughing, bending over and clutching at each other's shoulders, breathing fast and hard from the running and, now, laughing. Matt could only see a vague outline of Shiro, illuminated by only the fullest light from the bottom crack of the door. He was looking at him, strangely calm and serene.

“What?” he asked. Shiro quickly looked away.

“Nothing.”

“Shirooo,” Matt whined, as was customary for him. He poked his friend in the side. “Tell meee.”

But, when Shiro looked back, Matt could tell something was different. Something had shifted - between them, between the mood. There was enough light for Matt to notice a fine red painting Shiro's cheekbones, and a look in his eye.

They were silent then, both afraid to break whatever tension laid between them. Matt remembered, with horrible attention, how close they were, and felt his own cheeks redden. His breaths came out uneven.

“Can I-” Shiro said, finally breaking the silence. “Can I kiss you?”

Matt sucked in a breath. It was as if the world stood still.

Then-

“Yes,” Matt said, voice wobbly, but never more certain of anything in his life.

It was perhaps the slowest, most intense experience of Matt's life, waiting for that kiss. But, if it had taken years, Matt would have waited a thousand more. When they kissed, it lasted a lifetime and an eternity. Shiro cupped his cheek. Matt put his hands on Shiro's shoulder, traveling to hold him closer by the neck. Matt loved Shiro's lips.

When they broke away, Matt felt more disoriented than when he'd originally been tugged into that dark closet. He still stood close, not yet releasing Shiro from his hold or himself from that gaze. He loved that gaze.

Then, he pulled himself down from his tiptoes.  He smiled, a devilish sort.

“Wow, you're not half bad there,” he said, sort of out of breath. He cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed.

“You were great,” Shiro admitted, much more truthfully, but just as out of breath. Matt felt his whole body warm; he felt as if he was glowing from the inside out. He smacked Shiro playfully.

“Alright, Kashi,” he said, but drew closer again, standing on his toes.

When they kissed again, Matt knew one thing.

He loved Shiro.

[literaticat]

I had an r snd r and they told me specifically what they wanted changed. I made those changes snd when I got rejected they gave me feedback with five other issues that needed changed but then they didn’t want a follow up. why give me the feedback if it my manuscript wasn’t of interest to them anymore? It sort of annoyed me. If they wanted those things changed why not tell me to start with!

Lots of people complain because they don't get ANY feedback, you I guess feel like you got... *checks notes* ... too much feedback? I dunno, man. It feels kinda like you would have been annoyed regardless of how the agent responded unless they responded with an offer, and they didn't. I'm sorry about that.

As to why they didn't point out the second problems in the first place -- well, maybe they thought the things that they pointed out at first were the problem, but when you changed those things, you uncovered or highlighted new problems they didn't notice the first time. Maybe they didn't think you dug deep enough on the revision. Maybe you DID everything exactly right, but when they re-read it, they realized that actually this isn't really for them despite that, and if they asked you to do MORE work on spec with no guarantee, it would be getting you further from YOUR vision, which is not really fair to ask.

I understand that it stings to get declines -- but maybe it will help to think about it this way: If you are getting full requests, R&Rs, personalized declines with feedback, etc -- it's a sign that you really are *SOCLOSE*. You have something here that they were responding to enough to want to dig into it and even read it a couple times etc -- that's huge! So keep going!*

*****

*ETA, later: I don't want to make it seem like "ok you are sOcLoSe with this ms, you HAVE TO keep going with it, it will SURELY get an agent" -- nothing is guaranteed in this world after all -- I just mean, this ms CLEARLY has *something* -- and if, at a certain point, you think "well, actually, this ms might have something but also it has issues" -- that's OK too. It's part of learning and growing as a writer, and perhaps it's your NEXT ms that will be The One. Lots of times the first book doesn't get an agent, or gets an agent but doesn't sell, and that's OK too. I meant "keep going" in the GENERAL sense, not "cling to this particular ms even if it isn't working for some reason."