#i don't consider this canon for my interp bc new52 sucks ass but i was having feelings

[magicofrobin]

something that makes my fucking chest hurt every time i see it is that one page from an issue during damian's death arc, where bruce takes jason back to the place where he was brutally murdered, hoping that he'd find some answer for bringing damian back. & the two of them end up fighting and jason asks why bruce would ever bring him back there and bruce proceeds to tell him its bc he wants to watch damian grow up. that shit fucks me up for a couple reasons

first, of course because bruce brought jason back to the place where he died AND lied about why they were going to that area. he literally tricks jason into thinking they're just working a case (that's part revenge on bruce's part honestly) and after they deal with that he drives them out to where jason died.

second, because he can't respect why jason might not want to be there reliving what happened to him & he's so fucking selfish about it. when jason rightfully calls him out on it, he throws it back at jason, saying that if jason cared about him he WOULD relive what happened that day bc maybe it will help bring damian back.

third, bruce is doing whatever it takes – including retraumatizing jason – in order to find a way to bring damian back. something he didn't do for jason. it rlly does show like.. how little jason means compared to the others. (at least to me. i have more thoughts but i can't get em out rn)

and FINALLY, it's massively fucked up bc it comes right after bruce and jason have a rlly heartfelt and sweet moment after jason is almost killed by a trap the joker had set (following a whole mess of shit the joker did to try and fuck with batman that got like the rest of the batfam in the crossfire from what i read) bruce sits by his bedside! it's bruce jason sees (and hears? it seemed like it was implying that bruce was saying it all out loud and jason was hearing it in his sleep) that helps him wake up! it's bruce who holds him and comforts him! and he does all of that only to throw it all away? he shows how much he cares about jason only to force him to go back to where he died AND beat the shit out of him all because he seems to care about damian more. he wants to watch damian grow up but? where was that energy for jason? jason who died at fifteen and had hardly anyone at his funeral. jason who thought of him as a father and would've done anything for him. jason, the first robin to die, his first son to die, so where was that energy? why didn't he try to find some impossible way to bring jason back or turn back time or anything that might let him have his son again?

it fucks me up bc i know it would fuck jason up.

he already deals with the fact that bruce can't avenge him, that he replaced him, and now he has to figure out how to live with the fact that he wasn't worth the effort.