#i don't care about terfs or transphobes opinions but if I pass to a random child as I pass by then I'm succeeding

[redditreceipts]

Completely random ask, I just want to share my opinion with someone because it's too, "inappropriate", for the groups I'm currently in.

I fully believe gender dysphoria is a thing, and generally I don't really care about what makes someone trans because I consider it none of my business. I will call people by the pronouns they want to be called, live and let live right and I have no interest in disrespecting them.

But. Trans women pretending to never have lived as a man pisses me off. I have to deal with their awful opinions every feminism conversation because they think calling themselves women gives them full insight on what it's like to be seen as one from birth. I really think they deal with a different kind of misogyny or oppression from cis women, and trying to make feminism all about them is wrong. I can't talk about how they've obviously not lived as a woman during their teenage years because otherwise I'm a TERF but god does it show. (I also hate how all the transphobia discourse is focused on women btw, men are the ones killing trans women the most, and being least likely to accept them)

Honestly, my experience varies a lot (like when trans people pass I feel like they tend to lose this mindset) but they're entitled like men. They act like men. They benefit from being seen as men in their daily lives if they don't transition. I don't think they should be talking about what it's like to be a woman. Even cis women who are misogynistic are bigoted in ways that feel different and more directed towards themselves.

Binary and non binary amab trans people both have told me "notallmen" rhetoric to me complaining about men sexualizing me for just existing. Like sure, have chasers, stuff akin to all that. But I don't think they'll get what it's like to be degraded that way on a societal level. Like I really don't think transphobia permeates every aspect of society as much as misogyny does. Transphobia is a violent form of oppression but it's just not the same and they're not "more oppressed than me", honestly. Trans women who do experience misogyny, like for real not in the "being seen as a gnc man" way, and who talk justly about it have my respect tho.

I don't know. I'm exhausted because I have to pretend I'm privileged compared to people who have never been treated as women outside of online groups. Because misogyny is disregarded as an axis of oppression so they treat me just like I'm a white cishet guy even if I'm a queer women, but without agreeing with me as default. I'm treated like a dirty misandrist and a dirty transphobe in those groups. I'm friends with and I have dated a lot of trans people, and I've never had any issues with them, but online acknowledging there is a fundamental difference between a trans and cis woman is the worst thing I could do apparently.

Yeah, I actually wanted to add something to you ask, but I kinda can't because you already said it all in such a well-articulated manner so I the only thing I can say is that I couldn't agree more. I'm sorry that those people are around you and I hope it gets better but even if it doesn't, you know that you can just DM me (as sending asks will result in me taking a long ass time to respond lmao)

So yeah, I hope that you don't have to spend too much time around these people

[butchviking]

the problem with your chess argument is saying "women should be allowed to create a space just for themselves" and NOT thinking that's transphobic. literally in saying that you are implying that trans women aren't women, or aren't "woman enough" to be in the women's league. the "sex-based and not identity-based" part of your argument also feels bad faith to me.

off topic but also you saying that "this is the reblogging website who cares who i reblog from!" is INCREDIBLY irresponsible and shows that you do not actually care about whatever rhetoric you are spreading, you just do le funny reblogs!!! which i'm not saying you have to check the info of every single op you reblog the posts of, i know i certainly don't, but when you reblog an outwardly transphobic post and just say in the tags "i dont agree but funny we have almost the same url!!" it makes me feel like you are treating transphobia as a joke. which it is most certainly not. get a grip please.

you think it's transphobic for women to have spaces for themselves? that is so completely a you problem.

ok. let me say this outright so you can stop guessing. transwomen are not women. and everyone who makes a distinction between so-called 'cis women' and 'trans women' knows it. a transwoman is a person of the male sex who chooses to live in the female gender role, often also transitoning to appear and pass as female. there is nothing wrong with that and there is nothing wrong with admitting it. i've never understood why it's seen as somehow transphobic to acknowledge that transwomen are transwomen. literally why is that offensive to you. what is wrong with being a transwoman.

and uh? sorry for expecting people to think for themselves lol. it's not like i'm out here all day every day reblogging shit i wildly disagree with but yeah, now n then i will rb something i wildly disagree with if i think it's funny - usually clarifying in tags that i dont agree w it. or i'll rb something i mildly disagree with or im not sure about if it makes me think. or i'll rb from someone i completely disgree with bc it's some apolitical picture of a blorbo or smthn. sorry but im literally not responsible for other peoples opinions. i talk abt my own beliefs loudly and repeatedly on this blog and i expect other ppl to do their own critical thinking instead of just taking any random post they see at face value.

anyway, if you want me to rb from fewer terfs, tell everyone who isn't a terf to unblock me so i can rb from them instead. you wouldn't believe how many trans-supportive posts i've tried to rb but not been able to lmao. if people don't want me spreading trans-positive politics then i guess i got nothing left to spead but terfery ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[talisidekick]

I walk to work, rain or shine, in 34°C or (as of recently) -15°C (the -35°C below temps haven't hit yet). I'm very paranoid about getting grabbed or assaulted as I walk through rural streets, so I often don't listen to music on these stretches before I hit the busier 4 lane streets just to keep my ears open, and if I DO listen to music it's one tick up from mute and only in one ear. In the summer it's like out of a horror novel with bugs and spiders hanging from the trees that line the road and a canopy so thick it only casts sparse columns of sunlight that act as tiny glimmers of hope and salvation, in fall it's gorgeously orange and yellow hallway that as leaves fall from those tree's it casts a magic from a different time. But in winter ... it's a wind funnel, a hollow breath of ice and death that the only reprieve from is a dead haunting silence.

So I'm walking down this road, feeling like the very crunch of the snow under my boots is a glaring and hated mark of trespass in the dead silence, when for the first time in well over a thousand journeys of this route I hear a childs voice joyously shout "Hello!". So I look around and there's no one on the street, not two streets in either direction. It's a ghost town. Did I hallucinate? Was that my brain playing tricks on me? But I hear giggling, so I know my confusion is clearly enjoyable to some rather crafty kid who's decided I'm prey to their little game of hide-and-seek. But the giggle is a give-away, a house I had yet to pass, second story window, a tiny face smiling and poorly containing laughter. Something about how the snow reflects sound and the baren trees made the voice sound like it was right behind me. So I wave.

And then I hear a womans voice go "what are you doing?". The child goes "Saying 'Hi' to the kitty lady!". I wear cat-ears from halloween all the time. You only live once, might as well do SOMETHING fun, and so far everyone has enjoyed the ears. I get complimented constantly. But not from this woman, no. She comes to the window as I'm walking past and she looks like she's never had a day of fun in her life. That face reminds me of my mothers, the kind of person that's sole joy is sucking the happiness from a childs life. That scowl, all too damn familiar. She says nothing to me. Just tells her daughter she shouldn't talk to me specifically and leaves. So I turn around one last time, and that kid is again at the window looking at me. So I wave, turn on my heel and just keep heading to work. A little giggle at my back.

All of this was only a few seconds, but fuck yes kid, don't let that woman suck the joy out of your life. Hope you have something cool to tell your friends at school. And also, if tumblr's still around when you grow old enough to maybe see this post: thank you for the gender affirmation. My face was masked up behind a mask of stars and an 11ft. scarf from the 4th Doctor, but you had this trans woman smiling. I'm the "Kitty Lady".