#i don't actually hate dazai btw

[astro-g0re]

dazai hate posting fits with my chuuya pfp....

[yayll]

heyyy! I just read ur rockstar!Dazai fic and it honestly reminded me of this idea I had!!! (loved the fic btw!) Are you able to write an actor!dazai x fem!actor reader and they r fake dating while secretly being rivals ?? (I’d like 2 be known as 🦎-anon!)

hiiii 🦎 anon hehe

i'm sorry this was quite the wait, i LOVED your idea and i wanted to write it properly and i kind of took some liberties so i hope you enjoy it regardless? thank you for trusting me w your fic idea actor!dazai now haunts me actually dazai in any like, imagine just fucks my shit up that man is a menace in any story i put him in and i'm so glad others agree. i love u baby mwah u get so many ivy kisses

~ a little something about you and actor!Dazai keeping up appearances ~

"You're choking meee!"

"I'm just fixing your tie, Osamu-"

"It's babe, actually."

"It's whatever I want if you want me to keep holding your hand in public, jerk."

He pouts at this. What a cute little meanie you were! Always scolding him and spewing empty threats as if you were hot shit. You were hot shit, and that was only the beginning of his problems... The biggest one right now being backstage with you while attending the hottest awards show of the year.

Just before he can respond, the curtains are drawn and it's a stagehand whisking you two away to present the next award infront of thousands of fans. You're walking side by side, your heels clicking with each step when Dazai leans in to whisper something.

"You should stand on my left, my right side is more attractive."

"We're both facing forward, does it matter?"

He raises a brow and huffs dramatically in typical Dazai fashion. You two had been 'dating' for a year now, everyone was invested in this blooming romance ever since you both started in that drama together, now it's nothing but red hearts for you two.

It wasn't planned, it just kind of happened... It also wasn't completely awful, but it was the goddamn ego on Dazai that really made you want to strangle him sometimes. He knew he was pretty and desired, and what a threat you were with such an iconic streak in all of your latest projects. No wonder you two had to be paired together, on your own you were both dynamite. An unstable formula that needed to be stabilized by combining it together. Thanks to Dazai, you learned very quickly it could always get worse.

You present the award holding hands the entire time, an act highly encouraged by the need to convince, and yet when it's you two doing it it never feels as forced as you'd like it to be. There is a comfortability in the role of this relationship, you've come to realize yet supress. You'll hold hands for so long you begin to get clammy, and it's certainly not because he dotes on you almost every time he speaks! Which he hates doing... It's just a script, after all. Duh.

You're both making your way out of the venue towards the car that awaits to drive you to the after party when you're ambushed by interviewers and hundreds of flashes that yell out speed questions.

"Does the beautiful couple have time to stop and answer a few things for us tonight!"

Dazai loves that shit. Of course he has the time, he doesn't care if you don't. He has to sell it, obviously, since you don't put in the effort according to him. He flashes the interviewer that sardonic little smirk you hate and speaks innocently.

"Why, us? Sure! Right, honey?"

He turns to you and the crowd loves it. You hold back how badly you want to roll your eyes and simply smile, holding yourself high with grace and a ton of media training.

"We'd love to."

The interviewer is overjoyed as she looks between you and Dazai, taking in that affection that radiates from your false words. She grins as she goes along to ask her question.

"So, I think a lot of the fans are wondering..."

You and Dazai perk up, not even realizing that you're clutching the bottom of your dress so tighty that your knuckles are white. The interviewer looks directly at you.

"The two of you have been the most stunning couple the industry has seen in a while. Any plans for the future?"

You freeze. Ugh, not this again. You shake your head, smirking to yourself at the absurdity of the concept alone.

"Thank you, but honestly we're just taking things day by day. There's no rush between us, we have all we need right here and now."

The journalist smiles again and nods, seemingly impressed by your laid back attitude. Dazai snorts and suddenly interjects, clearly having a cheeky response to give to the crowd of journalists.

"We'll have tons of kids in the future, actually~"

Your panic is so instant that you literally laugh out loud, yet recover quickly by turning your shock into a playful glance at your lover. You manage a more sweet giggle and smack him on the chest a little harder than people would guess.

"Ooh, he's joking, of course."

The journalist rejoices, finding your banter and your overall interaction as a couple cute. The ideal power couple! Dazai grins and turns to you again, leaning in to tease you, his narrowed Hazelnut eyes piercing into you like a promise.

"Not joking. One day we're going to have a massive pack of little kids running around. And it's going to be your fault for being sooo cute~"

And with that, he leans in all the way into a million dollar kiss on your confused and parted lips. You're taken so offguard you almost fall back and of course grab onto him a little tighter... and run your fingers through his disheveled hair you forgot to nag him to cut... As the cameras go off like crazy, you wonder if it's worth ruining your public image for a while just so you can slap him harder than you ever have before.

Everyone's cooing and you're fuming, so you settle for a quick thank you and goodbye as you drag Dazai off the red carpet and into the car. He's giggling the entire time, of course. As soon as the door shuts out the screaming fans watching you drive off, you turn to Dazai and whisper ardently.

"What was that all about?! We didn't discuss this prior to-"

"... You liked it."

"Huh?"

"You liked it when I kissed you."

You scoff, though it sounds like you're choking.

"I did not. I just did what I had-"

"... And you want to have my babies. That's adorable, how devoted of you!"

You smack him on the arm but he's smiling like a cat who's had too much catnip, too far gone into his delusions to care about the repercussions. Love is love, after all...

"I think we should break up, like officially. You're nuts. The press won't let that go, Osamu."

He perks up, snapping out of his stasis and crinkles his nose in disapproval. He shakes his head, his hand on his chin as if in deep thought. Dazai mutters, barely above a whisper.

"... We won't actually break up, though."

"And why not?"

"Because in about 60 seconds we're going to kiss again and you'll be clinging onto me the entire night."

You snort into a laugh, tilting your head in disbelief. The car slowly comes to a halt as you arrive at the after party where a familiar roar of the crowd awaits to greet you once more. You begin your futile argument yet again.

"I don't see why I would do that."

At such a silly reply, Dazai softens his voice, looking at you like he first did when you both met on set a year ago. A lifetime ago. You're so cute when you're playing dumb. He shrugs, carefree.

"Neither do I, which is why I want to know too. I want to know what you're thinking about, if it's me."

You hate the way he sounds so sincere, like a real boyfriend would if he were trying to convince you you're just as into him as he is into you. Mind games is what it is, or at least you hope so. You really hope so.

You sigh, suddenly over the conversation as you open the car door to begin climbing out. Dazai follows suit and the roar of the crowd makes your chest feel tight as overstimulation takes over. You want to be anywhere but here and you wonder if you're having some sort of panic attack, but it just doesn't feel describable.

You turn wildly, disoriented by the camera flashes and instant fuss of the press, only to be faced by your one and only savior: the omnipotent Osamu Dazai. You don't know what it is about him in that moment, you just glide into his arms and complete the prophecy as you hook your arm with his, taking deep breaths as you finally ground yourself. It feels like the right kind of wrong, and you don't care to question it.

You feel a squeeze and a soft velvety voice whisper to you once again, you don't even have to look at him to know he's as smug as ever. But amongst the teasing, there's affection there too...

"So, am I?"

"Are you what, Osamu?"

"On your mind."

"At this point you're practically a permanent resident."

You hear him hum, a smile still present on his lips, the world simply frozen for him to continue his private conversation with you in public.

"Hmm, remind me to have you repeat that to me later."

This causes you to squeeze his arm back and murmur in genuine curiosity, finally daring to face him. He's already looking right at you, so devilish and angelic at the same time that you can't even look away.

"Why?"

"Because your time's up. 60 seconds, remember? Now come and kiss me already, the camera's are waiting~"

The photos of you two that night were the envy of couples everywhere. If only they knew how the ride back to the hotel went, it would be a scandal! Or simply the next step in your future?

[fyodorsushankaaa]

bsd characters as the things i / my friends have said pt1

dazai (me): when life gives you a lemon, become a lemon and hook up with it.

kunikida (friend1): i hate you so fucking much.

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑

dazai (me): hey have you seen my notebook that i've been drawing boys kissing since i was 12?

atsushi (friend1): okay, why DID YOU BRING IT HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE-

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑

chuuya (friend2): why don't people understand my home address? im telling them to walk straight. but what they do? turn left or right. ARE YOU DEAF OR FUCKING STUPID?

chuuya: i have never seen anyone that stupid except my fish that died from overeating.

dazai (me): your home addres is the only thing you're straight btw.

chuuya: are you the one who speaks?

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑

atsushi (me): i'm really having hard time about choosing a career

dazai (friend3): why don't you translate yaois from english?

atsushi: huh

atsushi: okay

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑

kunikida (friend3): every single thing on earth is so tiring for you.

dazai (me): yes

dazai: i wish i didn't need to breathe

dazai: i wish i didn't need to shit

dazai: i wish i didn't need to eat

atsushi (friend2): then hold your breathe

dazai: tried that before. it's more tiring

kunikida: then die.

dazai: i wish

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑

chuuya (friend2): i think dazai should write letter that says he's not petitor about we beating the shit out of him so i can punch him till he goes into a coma and lives without needing to eat, shit or move

dazai (me): i would say okay but being beaten is too painful

chuuya: then what about i give you narcosis?

dazai:

dazai: when are you coming?

chuuya: so soon

chuuya: by the way, would you be offended if i unpluged your respirator and charged my phone instead?

dazai: nope but why are you asking?

chuuya: nothing.

(actually it was continue of the one before that btw)

[tsuunara]

   " lets crash course learn twice choreography ! "

SPECIAL GUESTS : chuuya nakahara , osamu dazai , atsushi nakajima !

 ABOUT ORDER : forcing teaching bsd men twice choreography! how into it are they? do they hate it or enjoy it ?

 CONTENTS :  might be ooc !! , profanity in chuuya's part , dazai shenanigans , kunikida appears in dazai's part !! , poor atsushi is struggling to keep up :( , kyouka appears in atsushi's part !! .

 SERVER'S NOTES : stan twice!!! this was a warm up to prepare for my soon chuuya angst fic... sorry for the wait :( btw here is the playlist of all the songs for each character! i'll make a pt 2 with nikolai and fyodor . :) this was super fun to write lol

   chuuya nakahara ! The Feels

chuuya has seen you practice the choreography a couple of times . he doesn't really mind when the music blasts and just lets it slide because he loves you so much ! chuuya doesn't know much about kpop but he's heard a couple in your playlists , and hears you play the same ones over and over again ... not like he doesn't mind though . despite it not being his actual music taste, he secretly enjoys listening to it sometimes and it's his guilty pleasure . when he sees you dancing all silly , he can't help but smile in awe . he thinks it's so funny and cute seeing you put your all into it !!

" YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART OH YEAHH NEVER GONNA LET IT GO OH OH NO NEVER IT LET IT GO OH OH OH- "

" well uh shit... am i interrupting something here ? "

" lightning straight to my heart oh yeaAAAH WHAT THE FUCK CHUUYA- "

oh, but when you encourage him to dance with you ? who is he to say no with that stupid smile of yours ? no matter how silly it is , he WILL do it .

" ...so uh- "

" ...crash course twice choreography . "

" ...what ? "

" you know what , chuu ? you're in perfect timing . you should really join me !! come on , i'll teach you twice choreography ! "

" huh ?? woah woAH WOAH- WAIT HOLD ON NOW- "

although he is a bit hesitant , he always gives in . and with no regrets after whatsoever !!! he's a very quick learner too with lots of flexibility !

" one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight ! one , two , three and four , five and six and seven , eight ! good ! just make sure to bend your knees a bit more... and then... stretch them ! "

" uhuh, okay... like this ? my god- this dance is kinda hard... how'd ya even manage this ? "

" not to worry , chuu ! just like that !! YOU DID IT !! "

"holy fucking shit . I DID IT . "

overall , 9/10 is super into it . always exaggerates his moves but at least it shows he's having fun !! bonus points for being a new little distraction he can do at work ! has definitely had a couple of his colleagues walk in on him . whoopsies !

" you have stolen my heart oh yeah... never let it go oh oh no , never gonna let it go , oh , oh , oh... "

" uh... sir ? the... documents... "

" lightning straight to my heart oh yeaa- GOD WHAT THE FUCK ?! oh . it's you . the documents ? yeah yeah , uh... go put them... over there . "

" ......sir- "

" no . if it's about that , then i don't want to hear it . "

   osamu dazai ! FANCY

dazai's favorite pastime ? learning twice choreography . and what better ? with you !! he's had his ass dragged into your little dance classes sooo many times... (not like he's complaining though !) he knows somewhat about kpop , he likes listening to it with you (and for shits and giggles . ) also loves to see you dance to the songs yourself !! always tries to copy you so much so he ends up distracting you because it's funny , causing you to mess up the entire choreography :( when he hears the music play , that's when he knows it's time to crash course learn twice choreography !

" ...'samu ! "

" yes lovely ? "

" do you know what time it is ? "

" hmm..... four-thirty . "

" stupid , not the actual time ! c'moooonnnn you knowww thissss... "

" well color me clueless . "

" 'samu.... "

" i'm kidding! hmm... oh , don't tell... it's that time , isn't it ?! "

" you're so right... IT'S TIME TO CRASH COURSE LEARN TWICE CHOREOGRAPHY ! "

a little slower learning the choreography (because mf can't take it seriously sometimes) , but once he gets the hang of it you bet fucker WILL be hitting those moves whenever has the chance .

" it seems another job well done to us for solving the mystery , bella ! oh , OH , OHH !! i feel a song coming ... LET'S HIT IT , [name] !!! ohhh yes GET IT !! "

of course being dazai, you can't have a dance lesson with a little chaos in between ! but that's what makes it even more fun !

" one, two, three and four... no 'samu, that's not how do it ! "

" hehehe. fancyyyy youuu ooh-ooh-ooh- "

" DAZAI THE TABLE-?! "

" ouchieeee.... !!! bellaaaa~ help me out hereeeee... my hips huuurrrrrt !!!! "

" oh my god... "

overrall , 9/10 very chaotic but totally fun experience ! he enjoys it far too much for his own liking . he does a few freestyle moves of his own to " jazz up " the dance takes your dance lessons to HEART . period . kunikida always scolds him at work :P

" OI DAZAI . this isn't some dance class . get back to work !! "

" whaaaat ? sorry kunikida~ i can't hear you right now over the music !! my dearest [name] just taught me how to dance ! and i feel so POWERFUL !! OHH , keep quiet now !! THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART !! "

" DAZAI- "

   atsushi nakajima ! TT

atsushi is a very interesting case when it comes to learning choreography... he tries his best though ! i feel like atsushi is very open to different kinds of music , so kpop is no different to him and enjoys listening to it ! super fascinated by how you managed to learn the dances . always slides in compliments after you finish with a little clap !! atsushi NEVER thinks about learning the choreography himself . he just likes listening to the music . but who is he to say no to you ?

" atsu !! "

" [name] !! what's the matter ? did something happen ? "

" atsushi . you know the one thing that you're missing right now ? it's that you NEED to crash course learn twice choreography with me . there's no backing out now !! "

" wha- ??? wait- HUH ???? "

poor boy is unfortunately a slow learner when it comes to dancing... but he's trying !!! his moves are a bit stiff , but just a little more practice and instructing will do !!!

" it's easy ! one , two , three , four , five , six , seven, eight ! can you try that for me ? "

" umm... one... two... three... four and five and six and seven eight... ?! did i do it ? "

" close !! there's room for improvement , though ! you're doing great though ! for your first time and the easiest twice choreography to learn ! "

" EASIEST ?!? aaahhhh... this is so hard , [name] ..... can we take a break ? "

practices whenever he can . you've seen and walked in on him practicing in front of the mirror and he's always gets soo embarrassed , but slowly he's starting to get the hang of it and you're so proud of him !!!

" one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight... "

" well , someone's been doing their homework ! "

" [name] ?! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM- "

overrall , 7/10 . he's proud to know he's finally learned how to perform twice choreography ! (even if the process was literal hell) obviously still struggles sometimes , but very silly and cute when he does it ! kyouka has walked in on him a few times... but she doesn't seem to mind !

" one , two , three , four...- "

" ...why are you dancing ? "

" YEAOW- oh... it's just you , kyouka... practicing this dance [name] taught me ! ah , where was i again...? one , two , three , four , five , six , seven , eight... "

" i didn't know they could dance . maybe i'll ask them about it later... "

   reblogs appreciated ! ♡

[dazai-anon-archive-taketwo]

Your answer is complete bullshit. What the dazai anon did is nowhere as serious as what you are doing. You want her personal life basically sabotaged, and all she did was send you a couple of cruel messages that made you have a bad day, guess what? That’s everyday for the dazai anon. She’s just fucking tired of the treatment her favorite character faces form this shitty fandom, even his own “stans” join in the hate against him but there seems to be some hypocrisy against chuuya or even the fucking pedophile mori.

All she did was send mean things out of frustration and anger, she deserves to feel that way. I don’t agree with death threats, but nothing about her behavior is “harassment” or “grooming minors” you’re all dumb fucking idiotic children and it shows seeing how you label petty internet fights as “crimes”, at the end of the day, did you lose your degree? did you lose your job? are you in constant fear and suicidal ideations because you’re scared you’re going to jail over THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHUUYA NAKAHARA of all things???? No! You are completely fine and living your life with no fears or anxieties as she is. Your blog is also completely useless btw! No one is gonna make a case on this, your parents didn’t which is why they asked u to delete the previous blog. Follow their advice again and leave the Dazai anon the FUCK alone and have the balls to actually face her without holding legal threats over her head. You pieces of shits.

What she does is tell people to kill themselves and say that she hopes they die, that their pets die, that they fail their finals, that their mental health/life gets worse. All over fictional characters, and we are just documenting it. At most she might get a fine, or have her Tumblr/Twitter privileges removed. I'm not sure how that second one would play out but I know people have been banned from sites.

As for the. having a bad day bit. I've mentioned this to her before but I have several disorders that make everyday hard for me too, most notably that I've been either passively or actively suicidal for the last 6 years. How do you think her damn near constant hate and harassment of me and my friends affects my mental state? I say it doesn't get to me because it doesn't incapacitate me and I don't want my friends to worry. The shit builds up. I have blocked her, I have reported her, I have ignored her, I have asked her to leave me alone. None of that has worked.

I understand the frustration she goes through, that's the whole reason I don't interact with the pjo fandom anymore. I was taking everything personally, I couldn't play nice with others and I realized that I was problem so I stopped interacting with it. That is my oldest special interest that has kept me alive multiple times. I do not post about it. Because it is unreasonable for me to ask everyone else in the fandom to only see it my way.

She has become the problem here and needs to deal with that. It is not fair to everyone else here for her to decide that her way is the only right way and everyone who disagrees is against her specifically. She absolutely has every right to feel angry or frustrated but she does not have the right to take that out on everyone else, if she doesn't want to block people and respect people blocking her she needs to leave until she can play nice.

As for the legal action, she can stop harassing people right now and case will likely go nowhere. And I have tried to talk to her about the things she does without "threatening legal action" and she called me a cunt and stupid and jobless and a dickrider and a doormat. She isn't willing to talk things out and treat others with respect, so we have this blog. And we have gotten a few asks regarding legal action, we haven't answered them publicly because Kavya tends to harass anyone mentioned here.

-2

[miceonvenny]

I CANT I CANT THE LAST CHAPTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Spoilers below!!

Stop cause their friendship(debateable) is so cute man. i love their stupid banter, their bickeringggg for two people that hate eachother they sure get on well i wanna see them happyyyy

THE GUILTTTTTTT IM SOBBINGGGGG

UGHHHHHHH I CANT EVEN PUT WHAT IM THINKING INTO WORDSSSS BUT THE CONSTANT RELATION TO DOGS IN THIS FIC REALLY MAKES THIS LINE HIT HARDER THAN IT ALREADY DOES

GOOD GOD. THIS ENTIRE SEGMENT OF SNAPE IN THE INFIRMARY????? THERE WAS NO NEEEEDDDDDDDDDD HIS GRIEF. HIS MOURING. HIS ANGER. IT WAS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL. IT FEELS SO REAL

SHUT UPPP IM LITERALLY ALREADY IN TEARSSSS YOU'RE MAKING IT SO MUCH WORSEEEEEE

AND THESE TWO??????????????????? OH MY GOD. YOU MUST BE TRYING TO END ME??? THEYRE SO.. ARRGGSHSHGSGHSG I LOVE THEMM. HONESTLY, I JUST WANNA SEE BLAISE AND DAZAI HAPPY😭😭😭 I WANNA SEE ALL OF THEM HAPPYYY GET THEM A GROUP CHAT VIA OWLS RN.

Honestly, only one thing to say to this one, and it's damn.

THE COIN FLIPPINHGGGG. AGAIN MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO CRAZY TO TYPE ANY OF MY THOUGHTS BUT I LOVE THAT IT'S HERE

When I tell you, I almost crieeeddd😭😭😭

But in all honesty, I knew this was coming, and I don't mind. I'm satisfied - more than satisfied, actually. These two books have actually... wow, I've genuinely never felt this way towards any fic before. I actually sat staring at my notification bar, waiting for gmail to pop up(only to be disappointed because it's just something irrelevant, like my accounts being compromised or smth😒), and when it did today, I actually squeaked. Not kidding, btw, I squeaked and physically reacted. Lock me away. But enough about my obviously worrying mental health!

This fic. This series, M&M. I'm so happy I found this when I did.

Allegory, if you (somehow) see this post, I just wanna say: Thanks for the ride, and I wish you well!

[s3raphimssins]

Dazai x reader coworker besties

After completing a mission in France. Dazai and the reader they still have one day remaining before leaving for yokohama. Dazai suggests they should tour around Paris. But the reader is low in energy and gets tired easily and dislikes rollar coasters. she finally agrees to dazai. Basically, take pics, visit the eiffel Tower, go to amusement parks,gets ice creams.

(Also if it'd be nice dazai having a lil crush on her uwu)

YOU WRITE SO GOOD BTW

➼Authors note: THANK YOU SO MUCH AAHH! I love your reqs so much their so unique I enjoy writing them, you ask and I shall deliver!

➼Pairings: dazai x fem!reader

➼Summary: a trip to France, an unexpected confession

JE T'AIME

"no"

"Pleaseee Donna!"

"no" you had been saying this for 2 days ever since you both completed the mission in France, today is your last day, it's 9 am the day hadn't even started Dazai started begging to go tour Paris.

"We have only a day left here and I'd say it would be a waste of time to just stay in a hotel room" dazai reasoned.

"We can just relax here I'm already drained after the mission and my legs cannot take another long day out" you told him, it was true you got tired easily and your legs already hurt alot. Though you think he was right about it being a waste to sit around in Paris. You sighed and said eventually giving up. "Fine we can go, but you will leave me alone in Yokohama."

"DEAL" it didn't take long for dazai to accept that offer.

You both got dressed and left to tour Paris and Dazai said they had seen an amusement park, you could go to. You weren't sure about that since you HATED rollercoasters but it would be fun to sit on the teacups or carousel.

Dazai was mostly dragging you across the whole thing, you sat on carousels, teacups, the Faris wheel and more rides that you actually enjoyed as you only had to sit on them. But Dazai begged you to come to atleast one rollercoaster. To that he got a strong no. there's NO WAY you're sitting on a rollercoaster no matter what he says-

"AAAAHHHH WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS" that was you screaming even before the rollercoaster dropped. You don't know how this sly man even convinced you but it happened. Meanwhile Dazai was over excited squirming in his seat and teasing you relentlessly "ride hasn't even started yet [name]~" and like the after a few minutes the rollercoaster started. You were screaming like 95% of the time and the minute it stopped your head bumped on the back, you were tired after just screaming your lungs out. Dazai laughed so hard at that and pat your back once you made it out, he also teased you on how your legs were still shaking after the ride but you smacked him on the head.

To make up for it you both left the park and Dazai took you to an ice cream vendor and you both got a huge ice cream glass with scoops of ice-cream and shared it. You both went on a bridge area nearby and sat down on the bench with the river view. Dazai let you eat the toppings as he felt bad for you. You both rested Abit there and took pictures of the view and of yourselves to show your colleagues. Dazai also took a photo of you after the rollercoaster but you don't need to know about that.

After you relaxed Abit and finished your ice cream you both took a cab and with a terrible attempt at french you both ended up at a museum. This was more your type you really enjoyed this and we're excited. You took alot of pictures of the relics and Dazai posing next to them. Dazai gladly took some photos of you next to the art their too and he thought you looked mesmerizing in them. Though he would never tell you that seriously.

After a quick snack break you resumed your journey to a long awaited spot of Dazai, the Eiffel Tower. You both could see it from a distance and took another cab there. The sun slowly began to fade as you both approached your final destination. You were captivated by the view of the pink/orange sky and the Eiffel Tower standing Infront of it. The sounds of people chattering away and taking pictures. You and dazai went to a waffle cart that was there and took two delicious waffles and stood on the bridge leaning on it where you had a perfect view of the sky and the Tower.

"this was definitely worth it" you smiled "thank you for bringing me here"

Dazai looked at you with a calm expression, he looked relaxed and said "thank you for accompanying me here".

You both stared off into the distance as the sun slowly faded into the horizon and he spoke up. " I bought you something" you looked at him in surprise. He reached into his trench coat and pulled out a hair pin which was full of tiny gems. It was in shape of a butterfly and it was champagne colored.

"Thank you! This is so...Pretty" you looked at it observing it's details and how good it looks. Dazai slowly raised it and pinned it on your hair at he side pulling them back out of your face.

"I thought you didn't want to come here donna~" he broke out of his serious expression and his playful demeanor was back. "Well I didn't want to, and I still think I would be much well rested at home, but this was a new experience thanks to you and I actually enjoyed". He laughed at that and you both ate your waffles staring into the distance.

Dazai excused himself for some time while you clicked a few pictures. He returned back after some time with 2 champagne glasses in his hands. "I saw this bar at the corner there so I thought I might get them!" He said cheerfully. You gladly accepted the glass and he had the other in his hand. "This is the perfect place for a suicide.." he with sparkles in his eyes. "And I thought I'll have a day without hearing you talk about suicide" you sighed. "There's no stopping you I guess" you chuckled.

"Je t'aime"

"what??" You looked at him curiously. He looked ethereal looking into the distance like that before he turned to you and spoke

"nothing you'll learn"

He toasted your champagne and took a sip out of his glass as you did the same.

What did he say? You'll find out eventually if you remember.

A.n: I THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A FRENCH WORD IDK, but I got this off Google so I don't know if it's right or wrong but je t'aime means I love you! I don't know I apologize if it's short! I had fun writing this!

[strawberry-skies-xx]

13, 20, & 22 for the fic asks! fic i choose for 22, of course, that fucked up girl <3 and the mori dazai fic w the matcha tea....both fics have me by. CHOKEHOLD

*walks in 2 days late w iced coffee* that reblog spree on your blog is bc i couldn't find the og post btw and i had the (naive) hope you didn't reblog shit at the speed i did

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

i prefer reading AND writing multi-chapter fics, bc its so much fun to explore stuff. however. The Horrors. i can dream about writing a multi-chapter fic all i want but it doesnt mean ill ever finish it (rest in piece my fleabag fyozai fic that's infamous on my bsd server bc i never shut up about it. also the fyozai betrayal AU fic. pensive emoji.)

20. Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

you make miette search through 84 published works for this...

the fic i'd say i've done the most research on is this one (mafia Dazai training Akutagawa) but the fic i've put the most work into being really good and me liking it has to be this one. its not BSD, but its a character study of a guy from another fandom and his interest in death and passive suicidality. i spent 3 days postponing every single other obligation other than food and just sat in bed writing this. 4th day i did nothing but chores and then i didnt write anything else for a week lol

least work is hard bc i have a philosophy that i can do whatever i want forever so i Will just write something in an hour and post it with no research, all pure self-indulgence. but i'll use a fic i should have done research on: this one. i really should've planned that out better. idk if anyone still follows me for httyd or has read that fic of mine but i do plan on rewriting it someday

22. Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

OH boy.

so. fucked-up girl fic actually doesn't Have much real symbolism, only a couple remarks on my headcanons for various things.

today he had to eat an apple whole because he could not pick up a knife-

this one is easy, referencing dazai's suicidality and the fact he is trying. just a slight reference to him actively changing/being unable to do something, and also his issues with food.

He starts targeting.

Dazai is very, very still.

Atsushi backtracks so fast that he stumbles over his words, forgetting entirely Dazai’s contradictory explanations,

little things about dazai's manipulation in everything. boy can't admit shit. he's very roundabout with admitting anything close to himself (why i hc fyodor is so good for him, because they can trade those vague references back and forth and understand each other) and a trait i assign to him is saying vulnerable things in as few words as possible. he doesn't explain stuff.

Dazai’s body aches, and he turns, walks over to his desk, sits down. His clothes constrict.

gender issues but also, as mentioned in my comment on your fic, i hc dazai just hates his body. he has to shower with the lights off sometimes, can get dressed without looking at himself once. he very much dislikes perceiving the fact he has a body.

The ADA thinks that they’re dating. Him and Yosano. 

not symbolism or a hc but this was the premise of the entire fic. the agency thinking dazai and yosano were dating when really dazai just had severe gender envy

“Zai.”

little hc! yosano specifically uses this nickname for dazai when affectionate. atsushi and kunikida don't use any actual nicknames derived from his name; chuuya uses this nickname sometimes; ranpo uses this nickname somewhere between chuuya and yosano bc ranpo is putting in the least effort to get his attention lol

The conclusion is obvious. Dazai should explain that’s not what he means, but he can’t get his mouth to work to speak honestly. 

this whole conversation was the biggest indicator of dazai being unable to elaborate/saying things in as few words as possible. he's not a pathological liar, i just think sometimes it is physically painful to have to elaborate vulnerable things verbally for him. e.g. "it's because you're a woman" and yosano having to debate the fact dazai could be going after her, dazai Knowing what kind of conclusion she'd jump to immediately As a woman, and yet he just cannot explain it further because it is vulnerability. HENCE why i like him and fyodor, because fyodor can make those kinds of connections as quick as dazai can.

"Women are really pretty~”

not a hc or symbolism but. Boy why do you talk about women so much and yet date none of them. almost actively make yourself undesirable to them. Sir. My guy. i know what you are

“There’s a word for it?”

special lil hc i have. the mafia is very open and accepting because they simply have bigger priorities than who's kissing who. mori simply does not give a shit if his agents are consorting or if his lead agent goes from a girl to a guy. he won't provide monetary support and unless it's physically disabling he won't make exceptions to rules, but if he's told that someone's pronouns have changed or whatever he'll go "cool" and change the name/pronouns in all of the system, start using them, and be done with it. his only concern is performance and as far as he cares, sex and gender are irrelevant. (on that note, harrassment isn't tolerated because why are you harrassing them for being gay when you can harrass them for the multiple enemies they didn't kill last mission. cmon now.)

this also comes with the caveat that the kids raised in the mafia aren't really educated on it. they're taught normal class subjects, e.g. math, english, etc. and they're taught mafia protocol, and they're allowed to get their own reading material, but the mafia puts in as much effort to teach them about queer people as they do to teach them about heterosexual people. (they do get sex ed tho, which is basic as ever, and which dazai is a whole menace during)

and dazai, obviously, would not really be that interested in either to read about. being brought in so young, i think he was never really taught bias against queer people, so when he had the revelation that he liked chuuya he was just kinda. oh ok. and when he has the feelings about his body that he doesn't like it, he has much bigger priorities (namely the quickest way to die) than figuring out whatever the hell that is.

so it ends up that dazai just kinda is queer and has no idea what it is. he knows he hates his body and he knows he likes chuuya, probably has some surface level knowledge of gay/bi/lesbian/etc. but otherwise no, he's never sought out specifically to figure out the terms for what he's feeling. he actually really hates perceiving himself in any way lol

He still looks like himself,

this little bit: he hates perceiving himself in any way, but he still wants to be him. he doesn't want to change his name or his reputation or whatever else, he doesn't want to be a different person. he just wants to be a dazai that he likes.

It would look wrong be inconvenient for him, and take so much effort. Just… so much. So much that he can’t handle. Managing himself is hard regularly - adding on this, whatever it is, would be biting off more than he could chew. 

there's a river called de nile-

dazai is denying the fact he thinks being a woman would look wrong because of his years of being in a masculine body like he is, hence the calluses mention. but he also is right, that he wouldn't be able to upkeep it. he has to be in a better spot/it has to be something very slow and gradual for him to be able to keep it up long enough to maintain a desirable appearance. he's sorta using it as an excuse to not do it but also he just doesn't want to put in that much effort into it.

now for the matcha fic!

Very big hc and symbolism for this fic: Dazai's ability.

it is an ability nullifier, and i stand by the idea that abilities have some kind of effect on their user and are somewhat sentient. Atsushi's tiger, for one, is not only a transformation but the shape of the ability inside him, and Kyouka's Demon Snow is a whole being as the ability itself.

so for Dazai, he described it once as an "anti-ability." which. what the hell. whump beams him.

i have the hc that Dazai's ability makes him cold because most ability users can feel their ability hummign beneath their skin. most abilities are warm, alive, and it's like a constant low electric current or adrenaline rushing through them, as omnipresent as a heartbeat or breath. just a fact of being alive is that feeling. so then: when Dazai nullifies other people's ability, they can Feel the absence of it, they can feel very empty and very cold. when Dazai is the host of that nullification ability, it's just that electric warmth reversed. an icy cold, all the time, because NLH is a black hole as opposed to a sun. (all my metaphors relate NLH more to an icy lake, but that's the dichotomy)

i don't ascribe Dazai's emptiness entirely to NLH, but i do think it contributes and that he has a complex about the relationship between his own issues with emotion, empathy, and the fact NLH lives inside him.

and that cold gets much worse whenever Dazai actually does nullify an ability depending on how strong it is/how much is being used at the time, therefore the remark about him making a science on how bad it'll affect him, and that scene about him being overwhelmed by nullifying Chuuya's ability; he miscalculated, and was caught off guard by NLH activating so strongly, esp given his injuries and physical weakness already in that moment

and another little HC: Dazai's hinted to have been in an even worse place before Mori and abilities are said to be activated from trauma. so i like to hc Dazai's ability as activating from the result of being tortured with abilities, from a deep desire to stop the torture, also in some kind of lab setting. and from there, Dazai escaped, and Mori got this very damaged child.

so then, through the matcha fic, Dazai latches onto it because the warmth of the tea chases away the cold of NLH.

another thread through this fic: Mori and Dazai's relationship. i think Mori was trying to keep Dazai alive as an asset to the mafia, and that he never... regretted? bringing him in as much as wished Dazai had never shown up at his doorstep in the first place, because Mori sees the value of his skills way too much to regret using them. but Mori also knows kids aren't supposed to do what Dazai is doing. and he also sees the emptiness in Dazai and all his general issues. so it's this very messy tangle of like. Mori can't care for him like a father because, yknow, mafia boss and Mori himself also has manipulation and control issues, but also he's much fonder of him than most others, even Chuuya. no one else would have been able to get away with all the shenanigans Dazai inflicts on him (that kid bullies mori so hard. it's very comical). Mori is simultaneously training him and raising him in a life-or-death environment for them both and it's so messy.

“I’ll make us all some hot tea!” Atsushi raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you sure you won’t… burn the Agency down, Dazai?”

little note here: i think dazai curates an image of incompetency specifically because of his competency in the mafia. obviously everyone there knows he's actually competent, but he hides just how competent he is. partially to get up to his own shenanigans hiding his mafia connections and whatever else, but also partially because he doesn't want to be known as something like the demon prodigy again.

when it's serious, they know he can hold his own (prison arc) but otherwise. he is faking so much incompetency.

“I’ll make a deal - if you manage to make matcha tea as well as I do, I can get you your own expensive set for the holidays~”

ok listen. listen. the slap that dazai gave atsushi lives rent free in my mind because of the moment of hesitation just before it. everyone villainizes dazai for slapping atsushi while entirely ignoring the brief hesitation just before it.

dazai was both trained (as an agent) and raised (as a teenager) by mori. and oda was not a very good dad either. he doesn't have the best role model, for one. but he's also very self-aware when he's older and i think he can separate "father" mori and "mafia boss" mori in his actions. he knows when mori was trying to raise him and he knows when mori was trying to train him.

now. now guess what dazai is to atsushi. a trainer. and dazai is still taking the place of someone older and more experienced teaching atsushi not only combat skills but also life skills/growing-up skills. and we all saw how dazai got with akutagawa; that was an environment conducive to that kind of treatment, where that was being encouraged.

now the agency doesn't condone physical violence and dazai knows that. and he is very clearly trying to be a good person like oda asked him to. so, with that moment of hesitation, he clearly did not want to slap atsushi. but someone else's post words this better: he got complacent at the agency, forgot mori's ruthlessness, and with the threat against atsushi and release of Q he remembered he couldn't be so complacent and began to slip back into the old mafia thinking as a way to survive.

and with atsushi breaking down and not listening to him, the agency threatened by mori and Q, a threat that made even dazai flinch, i hc he got overwhelmed, knew there was one method that got guaranteed results, knew the agency didn't condone it, but was overwhelmed enough that he just. lashed out in a way he knew guaranteed would work, and would get atsushi to listen to him.

so . very long rant just to say that i think dazai is fighting, a bit, to balance his experience of being trained-and-raised, with him training-and-raising atsushi, but he knows the difference clearly between the two and so he'll cherrypick actions like the deal mori made with the matcha tea.

deep breath. it's been like an hour and a half. jfc. anyway there's your answers hsfdbhsdf i have many many thoughts on dazai

ty for asking!

[6-atlas-6]

This is THE worst manga/ anime week for the girls and gays I've ever seen in my life.

Jujutsu Kaisen and Bungou Stray Dogs spoilers under the cut

IT'S GOJOVER? GOJOS FUCKING DEAD? HIM MEETING GETO IN THE AFTERLIFE I'M SO SICK.

FUCK FRAUDKUNA. MEGUMI'S SOUL IS DESTROYED BECAUSE OF HIM AND NOW THIS?

When we said we wanted to see Gojo topless THIS IS NOT WHAT WE MEANT.

GEGE IS HOMOPHOBIC FOR THIS.

GOJO DYING IN THE MANGA AND GOJO GETTING SEALED IN THE ANIME IN THE SAME WEEK???

"My six eyes tells me you're suguru geto but my soul knows otherwise" IS COMING TOMORROW.

SATORU AND SUGURU DIED ON THE SAME FUCKING DAYYY I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY

FYODOR IS NOT FUCKING DEAD. WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HIS ABILITY WAS. HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES HE WAS SO INTERESTING HE CANNOT BE DEAD PLEASE.

DAZAI ISN'T DEAD? GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. I might get cancelled for this but I FUCKING HATE Dazai. Akutagawa is my 3rd fav character so I'm a proud Dazai hater.

The title of the episode is Twilight Goodbye. DAZAI SHOULD HAVE DIED BASED ON THAT TITLE ALONE UGHHH

The only good part is Bram is alive my #1 ‼️‼️

FUKUCHI AND FUKUZAWA I'M DEAD. DYING. DECEASED. THE OLD MAN YAOI ISN'T A JOKE ANYMORE.

FUKUZAWA REGRETTING SLITTING HIS THROAT AS SOON AS HE DID IT OH MY GODDD I'M FUCKING DEAD.

FUKUFUKU WATCHING THEMSELVES IM SOBBING AT WORK I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW

Sigma isn't dead. I refuse. I just don't believe it actually it didn't happen guys.

No. No. Nope. Not at all. Kys. I can't do this.

FYOLAI MY LOVES I'M SO SORRY YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT

(they were both terrorists and definitely deserved it.)

HE STAYED CROUCHING NEXT TO THE PLANE OH MY GODDD I'M GONNA THROW UPPP

FUKUZAWA HOLDING FUKUCHI? OH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF SCREENSHOTS? THAT WAS THE GAYEST FUCKING SADDEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE THE AMOUNT OF TEARS THAT JUST FELL OUT OF MY EYES OH MY GODDD I'M GOING TO DIE.

What was that ending btw like what the fuck what the fuck Asagiri release the manga chapter right NEOW

[literatureloverx]

WAIT OMG i was the anon who sent in the dazai chuuya request thing (dw i'm not one of those shippers, or really a shipper them that much except thinking their official art is pretty fruity lmao) i was just curious about what you thought about their dynamic. But if it makes you nervous you don't need to answer it at all, sorry 🥹. Love your work btw

Nooooo love, I wasn’t worried about you in the slightest! ❤️

I was more worried about the people who might find out about my blog and hate on me for not shipping them, because your request was worded absolutely neutrally. 😭❤️ (It’s actually funny how you immediately understood that I’d be stressing over the shippers, lmao.)

I will, of course, write an answer to your request, and I’ve almost finished it, but I will thoroughly explain my concerns and why that is the way it is. So please don’t feel targeted by that and just enjoy the analysis. ❤️

(Btw, would you like to claim an emoji too?)

[osarina]

hi carina !! havent been in ur inbox for a while, hru :)) i hope ur well >^< !!

i'm mainly here to ask if u have any writing tips/advice bc ur lit one of my fave bsd writers ever i adore all ur works sm and recently i've hated everything im writing ajkrnjekncvej SO IM WONDERING IF U HAVE ANY ADVICE CEJFCNJ (hopefully this isnt strange eabfihri)

you dont hafta answer this is u dont wanna btw !!! have a great day mwah <333

REDDDDDD MY SWEET LOVE BUG i've been doing okay!! work hasn't been as awful as i expected it to be, i rlly got lucky with my boss HAHAH - how are you doing?? you had exams right?? i hope they all went well!! sorry it took me so long to answer this one, but i wanted to actually be able to give u a good response so it had to wait until i had time i fear

IT'S NOT STRANGE, ur so sweet im giving u the softest forehead smooch. i'm sorry to hear you've been feeling that way about your writing though - i get it, trust me i do LOL, i go through days and weeks where i literally am revulsed by every word i put down in a doc. actually, i just went thru it like 2 days ago while writing the first chapter of civilian dazai so it's all fresh in the head LOL

honestly, i think the most important tip i have is really basic but u should never force yourself to write just for the sake of getting something out. like, i've done it before and whenever i do, i'm soooo unhappy with the results that it usually makes me go through a huge writing slump -> this happened with uu6 actually, i was so busy but i was trying to force the chapter out on time that i ended up rewriting it like 3 times because i hated it so much. finally i decided to move on to write some pmzai drabbles to clear my head & then came back to uu6 when i started feeling it again and behold, it came with ease. sometimes when i want to write but none of my wips are doing it for me, i'll literally conjure up a huge list of tropes and just read through it until one pops out to me LOL and then ill work on that

another i think basic piece of advice is reading. whether its fanfics, or novels, or whatever. whenever i have trouble liking what i write, i find something to read. reading is actually how i taught myself to write HAHAH my go tos are fantasy/scifi- tolkein, martin, herbert, rf kuang, i've been meaning to read sanderson but haven't had the time yet. honestly, in general, if i have free time and i'm not writing something, 9/10 i'm reading something.

i think plotting is also really important!! even for like one-shots, sometimes i get so lost in the writing that i lose focus of what the fic was originally supposed to be about and that frustrates me into deleting everything i've written. so something i do is i list out all of the scenes i want to see in a chapter or a one-shot before i start writing it so that i don't lose focus.

dialogue is a huge hurdle for me - sometimes i struggle to figure out whether or not my dialogue is realistic, so LOL sometimes i just sit there and speak it out loud, acting out a conversation with myself to see if it flows properly and then adjust accordingly. sometimes i do it for like descriptions/narration too if i think the narration isn't flowing or is too clunky. reading things out loud is a go-to way for me to figure out what's wrong with my writing.

and then lastly, this is more of a mental thing than anything else, but i've just slowly had to teach myself not to be too hard on myself. like i'll get so mad if something doesn't come out exactly how i envisioned it, and it used to genuinely make me so disappointed that i couldn't bring myself to write for days. so i've just slowly been working myself into a mentality telling myself that it doesn't have to be perfect to be great, yknow. and ten times out ten, you're seeing faults in your writing that no one else will take notice of.

so the whole tldr:

only write what you WANT to write, dont force urself to finish/write something

read when you can, whether its fanfic or novels or whatever u can get ur hands on

plot things out so you don't get lost

read things out loud that aren't making sense

work on not being so hard on yourself

[almond-t0fu]

Ok ok imagine-

Dazai, his fiance, you and Chuuya.....

Hmmm 🤔

Continuation

Soo, 1- you were saved by the mafia at a young age and by the mafia i mean Dazai specifically.

2- it was like an instant love at first sight for you.

3- a small introduction convo happened between you two and he asked you to join the mafia and become his assistant.

(you don't have an ability btw)

4- for the first few days you did what he asked you to do, met some people (Chuuya)

5- so like after month(your workspace is in Dazai's office) a girl comes inside the office and just screams "OSAMU I MISSED YOU" and you're just there, sitting on your chair, hella confused 👁️👄👁️

6- That girl turned out to be his Fiance. They were engaged due to mafia buisness.

7- she was a sweet person to everyone including you (kind of loud but still a sweet person) tho you couldn't help but stay away from her because you're literally in love with something who's supposed to be marrying her.

8- *timeskip* y'all are 17 now, you have noticed how close Dazai, his fiance and Chuuya were. Like you will be working on you desk and those three would just be having their own little picnic (yep they forgot about you)

9- Dazai still talks with you, a lot actually, whenever you two are alone (or Chuuya is there) he would tell you about his days, his failed suicide attempts, how much he hates Chuuya etc.

10- you also noticed one more thing, Chuuya was fond of Dazai's Fiance (let's name her Yumi). Whenever they all are together, you could see how his eyes lit up when she laughs at his remarks or jokes.

11- you did feel lonely but looking at them laughing together also made you happy since you considered them as someone special in your life.

(i feel like I'm making the situation really sad for the reader)

Now-

It was a normal day, you were filling up some documents that Dazai told you about. The Soukoku duo were on a mission and Miss Yumi was at her home. Quite peaceful for you. You actually liked your job (unlike Ada Dazai) so once the documents were over you started to do the things that Dazai would've assigned you to the next day. You also knew if Dazai finds out about this, he would be upset since he didn't like it when you overwork but you didn't care since you wanted the next day to be free (also you knew if you apologised Dazai would forgive you)

The office doors opened and you almost fell from you chair. The person that just came in was Yumi and she looked pissed. She looked around and her eyes feel on you.

"where is he?"

"p-pardon?"

She inhaled and asked again, "where is Osamu?"

"uhm he's on a mission right now, it would probably take an hour for him to come back..." You replied in a soft tone. This was the first time you had seen her like this and that scared you a little bit.

"1 hour huh? Ok then miss assistant, l have something to talk about."

(I'll write the rest later. Hope y'all can understand what i wrote hehe

Here Yumi, is the same "similar to you" girl from the breakup idea, so yeah she's not a sweet person. Also she's my fic ideas punching bag. She's inspired by all of those manhwa white lotuses that i hate. But she's slightly smarter and better than them.

Y'all would kinda hate Chuuya here but what can we do? He's in love with the wrong person

Also if you're a writer and find this interesting, please make a fic like this. I'm not a writer so i can't really write any of the ideas that i have posted so far but if y'all have the time please write it

Thank you for reading this and byee hope you have nice a day/night~)

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY MICKEY IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY??? HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY AMAZING DAY!!!!

i havent been following you for long but you’re such an amazing person - always so sweet n happy 🥹and its so nice and so so fun to see you on dash <333 whenever you’re not on, it always feels a little more empty and this turned into a love letter bUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!!

in light of this, i want to ask,, how do your favs spend your bday with you? who’s interested in a homely celebration? who wants to dress you up and take you out? and the million dollar question; is satoru eating the cake before you even blow out the candles? Its free reign for you to choose which selfships.. although i would love to hear about all of them.

ILY MICKEYYYY!!!!!!! <333333333

SCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SQUEEZING YOU SO FUCKING HARD RN FEEL MY LOVE FEEL MY LOVE FEEL MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING SO HORRIBLY LATE I PROMISE YOU THAT I DID SEE THIS MESSAGE ON THE RIGHT DAY TOO AND IT MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPY. IT'S STILL MAKING ME VERY HAPPY I'M GENUINELY JUST SOO SO FUCKING GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU HERE I'M SO HAPPY THAT WE'VE MET<333333333333 THANK YOU SOOO SO SO MUCH FOR ALWAYS BEING SO KIND TO ME AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME:(((((((((((((( I ADORE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH ILYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK SO SINCE ARI ALSO ASKED ABT SELFSHIPS I'M GONNA DIVIDE THEM A LITTLE HEHEHHE WAHHH I LOVE YOU DARLINGS SO MUCH. SOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO . i was thinking abt me and dazai and chuuya.... ohh they'd be so fucking adorable scar i love them sm:((((((((((((( dazai would wake me up by just peppering my face and just the whole body with kisses and then chuuya would try to fend him off a little, telling him to leave me alone . all for him to just take his place on top of me instead😭😭😭 they really are just two little cats omfgg... anyway they just shower me with hugs and kisses (they're both ridiculously clingy) and while dazai did want to cook breakfast we actually end up going to my favourite little cafe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! btw i need to mention that i think he'd a very good cook and i hate that. i wish he was worse . we only go there just bc they know that i love the pancakes there and that i love going on morning walks with them<333333333333 i'm always in the middle and we always have to hold each other in some way or another . sometimes i rest my head on dazai's shoulder and sometimes i just glue myself to chuuya's side fuck off i really do love them so fucking much i feel so soft:((((((((((((((( anyway overall we have a quiet bday i'm not one for big bday parties although i do like the idea of kunikida dropping by at one point to wish me a happy bday and give me a little gift but it's so funny bc he doesn't want to overstay his welcome but then dazai's already dragging him in and then we just have a nice little dinner at our place hehehehehhe

i think oikawa would be the one that would plan just a cute little bday party and by that i mean just the seijoh4 boys yk? and it's just another small get together at one of their places,, they decorate it with litle balloons and shit it's very cute😭😭😭😭we just order some good pizza and then play boardgames all night and it's more than enough for me:((((((((((( i get to sit on oikawa's lap, laughing into the crook of his neck while mattsun and makki play wii just dance lmao

OKAY AND SATORU MY BABYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! definitely does order a big fancy cake but the most he'll do is to swipe his finger through the icing and then boop my nose aaand then kiss it off he's so sickeningly sweet i'm gonna explode . oh and the get together he plans is similar to oikawa's little party aka we just go to shoko's place!!!!!!!!!! but the little thing he adds to make it all even more fun is that he asks everybody to dress up really really nicely. like proper fucking suits and fancy dresses bc he knows i like to dress up sometimes but i don't.. actually feel that comfortable going outside like that lmao so we just end up sitting there in her living room, me and satoru and shoko and suguru, all in our fanciest outfits while laughing our asses off it's literally so fucking lovely and fun and i am so grateful for all of them:((((((((((((((((((((( satoru keeps staring at me btw . i think he might be a bit lovesick. (i am not any better he's so good to me:((((((()

[about-the-onigiri]

FINALLY FINISHED STORMBRINGER! HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS (spoilers below obvi)

Okay, there's a lot to go over and I will probably make separate analyses, but for now I'm just going to go over any surface thoughts.

Chuuya

I will make a full separate character analysis for him, but my god did I thoroughly enjoy the theme of his questioned humanity and all the examples that proved his humanity before the end reveal (which btw I feel so stupid for not reading this novel sooner because I dead ass thought this was still an ongoing debate/question 🥴). Reassuring Albatross, mourning the detective, trying to save his clone, throwing away his memory sequence for the sake of Yokohama/the world, empathizing with Verlaine, doing the Sheep hand shake with Shirase, and making sure the Flags graves never go without flowers (kill me); all these things emphasize Chuuya's humanity. These actions answer the daunting question "is Chuuya human?", they precede the reveal. Humanity is such a huge theme in this series, along with one's reason/right for living, and it is always so well done to each individual character; but Chuuya's especially. (I must stop before this becomes a whole character analysis...but soon!)

Speaking of humanity, let's talk about Verlaine.

Now, while he was a strong contender in the beginning (I still don't, and never will, forgive him for the Flags deaths), he is no longer No. 1 on my shit list. Verlaine's existential crisis about his existence and "hate" driven plan to get Chuuya by his side is, arguably, very human! Verlaine was quite the interesting character to see unraveled, because his is one that drives home this major theme of one's reason for existence. It was so easy to sympathize with him because his angers, fears and desperate wants are applicable to not only the human characters in the story, but also any potential reader. They're the furthest thing from "non human", and in the way that Chuuya's humanity is recognized before the reveal, Verlaine's humanity must also be recognized, despite him not being human. Which is one of the things I love most that reoccurs through this novel. Despite the fact that it could all be a product of the lines of code, it begs the question: What makes someone human?

No Longer Human: Dazai

I'm kidding, we know Dazai is human (regardless of his detached sense of self). This novel actually did a fantastic job of painting Dazai as human and not an omnipotent master mind. His intellectual superiority is actually well countered in this novel. Yes, he bought time by giving Verlaine info on N and planned out the steps used in the final battle. But there were actually multiple times throughout this novel that we see Dazai caught off guard by things he couldn't predict, whether he admitted ignorance or not. His astonishment at Verlaine blasting straight through the lab after he had just mentioned he knew mostly what he was and wasn't capable of, his uncertainty for Chuuya's safety and success in the final battle as he watched everything play out. Dazai's humanity though is heavily highlighted when he gives Chuuya the choice of going into the final battle at the cost of losing his (seemingly) only way of verifying whether he's a human or not. This was actually very refreshing to see, but I'll cover this and a lot more on Dazai as I do want to make an in depth character analysis for him too. It was a nice break away and look into his character, as he could have easily withheld that choice and information from Chuuya.

Random Outlying Thoughts

A couple things that further emphasize the theme of humanity throughout this novel:

- Adam and his sacrifice for Chuuya. Especially after it was revealed that he was programmed to make his own decisions.

- Verlaine showing Chuuya the memories with Rimbaud

-Rimbaud's choice to, not only wait for, but save Verlaine, all while apologizing

I also thought it was interesting that Mori gave Chuuya his parent's location and the chance to meet them. I think it was genuinely both a gift and a test. We know Mori is cunning but not the incarnation of evil, as he's supposed to be an inspired character of Black Jack (though the translation errors ruined that). So I do think he would have genuinely given Chuuya that chance, while also using it to gauge where Chuuya stands. (Which we know is with the mafia; his family.)

Speaking of family, I cannot finish this post without mentioning the Flags again. I cried only twice while reading this novel. The first time being the Flags deaths, and the second when their resting place with an abundance of flowers was mentioned. They will forever hold a place in my heart, I'm still not over it tbh.

ALSO, I know in my last SB post I mentioned in the tags about Chuuya having nice things, but the fucking afterward in this novel from Asagiri!? Saying Chuuya's path is one that will not be easy or peaceful!! Asagiri please, I beg, let HIM HAVE NICE THINGS 🥲

Okay, that is all. Thank you for reading my rambles. I will post character analyses in the future!

[gildeddlily]

finally reading Fifteen and not only analysis ab it on tumblr

alr, I watched those episodes a million time but a lot of things weren't clear and I don't trust bones with their light novel's adaptations. it was... the fight against Rimbaud was like longest than everything, and they cut off a lot of parts of it, but also of the interactions between skk. I understand it but it's a pity alr?

i love him. no fr dark era dazai pisses me off (try to ask me why idk, I just do), agency dazai is alright, but fifteen Dazai is my heart and soul and I love him with all my heart. stormbringer Dazai too, I just love so much how he is...

...alr I already knew like everything that was ab to happen in this, cause I watched the anime and read analysis ab the light novel on tumblr and other social, but to see it written down like this hurts. I just love the way Asagiri writes, it's so forward and simple but so enjoyable and sad I'm gonna spend all my money on his light novels

CHUUYA IS HERE CHUUYA IS HERE MY DARLING IS HERE btw Chuuya is perfect in every single era. In every panel he's in, in every light novel he's even slightly nominated, in everything. even when he has his little twenty seconds appearance, I just can't help myself. "-a person that had personality"... good luck bby

are they flirting? Yes? No? yes they are shut up (I can hear chuuya's voice actor saying that, and that intonation is like the "aww poor baby want me to pick up where he left" IT IS DON'T LIE TO YOURSELF) and reading fifteen was so beautiful cause it clashes so much with innocent/sweet potato!chuuya that a lot of people seems to love. he's just menacing and hurting and killing people every two sentences

the anime really isn't enough (here he's talking about Mori after he admits he has killed the former boss: Mori's always referred as a demon, shinigami, the evil itself- and a non-human who act as such and knows it, and the connection to what Dazai thinks about himself is making me cry)

HE JUST DIDN'T yeah he thinks shit like "he's the most vicious thing on heart" and then calls him a timid street doctor

...he didn't just him a fairy did he?

yeah bud he kinda is a child. like, you're one too, so admit it and go on with your life. I just have to hug that chaotic energy chuuya has.

it's a pity it was cut, cause it would have been hilarious. and scary but still hilarious (chuuya's so dramatic and for good reasons) (dazai wants to go home) (no alr he wants to die but wait a little cm)

...what is this kafka love

It's so sad, and kinda beautiful too, the way he acts so freely when he's fighting anyone, and when he's with dazai. He's known him for like a day and already is more honest with him than his so called family. (chuuya beliefs about what his role is are heart shattering, and I'm gonna found another shirase hate club. he pissed me off a lot when I read stormbringer but now he really is making me rip off my hair)

dazai was manipulating all of them from the beginning, and in this scene he's also doing everything only to make the Sheeps betray Chuuya, but I don't think this was necessary (the "is that not enough/he's your friend"). he definitely knew that they wouldn't have understood and ignore that and straight up leave Chuuya behind, but he said that for a reason, like he was testing them- and chuuya. he said it was fun to mess up with him- and chuuya sees his family refusing to trust him and a guy he hates understanding him better than them, and I guess it doesn't feel good

he's actually being genuine!? he already is a bastard manipulator, but I like to think that 15!dazai was more honest and childish. not really was, more act, tried to impersonate that part of him.

this is Dazai, at the idea of pranking Chuuya by making him fall in a pool of mud and pour flour over him

that's dazai right after he killed the GSS man from the oh so famous clip where he shoot him like five times. and this is dazai around chuuya, in the like two days the got to know each other. is the opposite thing. he laughs, he smiles, he fucking flushes at the idea of making fun of him.

this is hilarious. asagiri actually is a comedy master. I laughed. and I'm not ashamed.

gay behaviour. homosexual tendencies. romantic tension. he had to fight himself not to blush (not really but inwardly awkward 15!dazai is my life)

"do you trust me?" it's their line, and theirs only. like even if you don't want to see them as a romantic couple, the trust they have in each other is so beautiful. everybody always talks about chuuya trusting dazai with corruption, but dazai's survival in dead apple was assured by chuuya himself, so our guy just put (another time, remember the hostage situations) his life in chuuya's hands trusting him? trust is their thing, and you people saying that it wasnt the same after dazai's deflection, fuck no. they were the same, with the rich-girl-act that really was the "are we alright?" silent question, and the we-are-partners-even-tho-i-said-ex

CHUUYA'S LAUGHING AT DAZAI'S DOG JOKE CAUSE HE ALSO ADMITS THAT HE WANTS TO LIVE he's so precious and even tho I'm the number one fan of dazai-fell-first-and-harder I love Chuuya starting to care, starting to get used to dazai.

and more of this. asagiri is screaming at us that chuuya basically saved dazai. or at least, he made the life mori constricted him to carry on more enjoyable (in the anime they switched the sentences, chuuya saying "don't tell me what to do" but this is actually better)

I love rimbaud, my bby is doing all of this to know what happened to verlaine and it's so cute (the fact that they completely cut off verlain's name and just left the "I killed him with my own hands" says a lot ab bones future plans ab stormbringer and asagiri introducing him in the central plot. it's not gonna happen guys or the anime only are gonna get their brains blown up)

chuuya struggling with his humanity since he was able to understand the concept itself is canon, and I wanna die

"if they were with eachother they didn't have anything to fear" and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. verlaine and rimbaud were the original soukoku. fuck zskk, we hate mori and we love the cold man and his made-in-a-laboratory boyfriend (they had a (fr terrible) relationship in real life, so asagiri is telling us something. that they're just canon)

now, to end this, just more screens of chuuya surprising dazai (with official illustration too), the most canon and pretty thing of this light novel after the love confession ab rimbaud and verlaine

im done

[bunglegaydogs]

Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3