#i doesnt help my drepression

[ificanwriteiscannon]

Loki’s Sigyn 

Gif is not mine. I’m not enterily happy with this (the original thought was to turn into a multi chapter thing, but my drepression doesnt let me do much so...) but I need something to take me out of my hole so hope its decent Xx 

ps: english is not my first language so sorry if you find any mistake <3 

Warning: insecure reader yeah sorry about that ..

Summary: Reader is the reincarnation of Sigyn and an avenger, but her shyness  doesnt let her confess. Will she be able to with a little push of her friends? 

“You know, you should just talk to him” The Avenger said smirking from behind the girl

“Shit Sam, you scared the shit out of me” Y\N said with her hand over her heart while he just shrugged

“Don’t turn the point here” The man replied with a smirk and his arms crossed

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Samuel” Y\N responded with her mouth full of chocolate

“Oh so nothing to say about our dear god of mischief hun? Perhaps I should talk to him then, asks about this whole tension between you gu-” The Falcon pretended to walk away from behind the column in the gym where the other avenger hid

“Wait-” The girl whispered\yelled “I –I don’t talk to him” She said shyly

“What? Why?”

“Why? Oh let’s see maybe because in some twisted way I used to be his wife! And now, not only I discovered that I have Sigyn’s powers, that happen to be his powers mixed with hers, but I keep having – hum – these dreams or memories, or whatever about him. And not to mention that doesn’t help with the fact that I have a major crush on him but I’m not able to stay close to him without making a fool of myself.. That when I don’t turn into a tomato and run”

“Woah slow down to breath would ya?!” Sam chuckled “Loki changed a lot, not that I really met him before but.. You should talk to him”

“Says the guy who is still trying to ask the girl on the 5th floor out for almost 2 months” The girl turned with a smirk on her lips and the chocolate bar on her hand

“That’s complicated business” Sam defended himself turning to the training partners, Loki and Wanda

“More complicated than reincarnated-wife?”

“Ok, you win this one … But, you still should talk to him”

“And say what? Hi Loki, you know the fact that I look exactly like your dead wife and also have yours slash her powers? So, that’s not all! I also have a major crush on you, maybe that’s because we’re soulmates, according to what Thor said, or maybe the fact that I think about you so much my head hurts, or even because of this strange and really weird dreams I keep having about our other life, where I sometimes wish I could go back to” The girl tried to keep calm but even in her low voice she kept rambling and nervous.

“Well, that would be a start.. You should really start breathing between some words you know?” Y\N rolled her eyes and turned to the god again “I’m serious maybe one after three or four words..”

“I’m serious here” The newest avenger exhaled turning to her friend “ I can’t keep avoiding him forever”

“Well, you’ve proven to be really good at it” Y\N glared him with her eyes semi closed “Just saying… ” He said with his arms up in defense

“I have to do something about it..” The girl whispered more to herself, but Falcon got it

“Maybe the first step is not moving at all” Sam tapped her in the shoulder and moved towards the center of the gym

“What th- outch!” As she turned to her friend, Y\N bumped in something and fell..or o she thought. She closed her eyes for the fall but it never came. Instead she felt a pair of arms, one around her waist and other on her shoulder.

“You should take more care darling” Loki suggested suppressing a smile “but then again it isn’t in your nature, is it?!” He finally smiled weakly and Y\N couldn’t help but smile too. Quickly realizing that she was still in his arms in a rather poetic situation, she turned back on her feet feeling her cheeks burn.

“I-I.. I don’t have care at all. I mean, not that I don’t care, it’s just I’m not careful enough. Like you just said. And now I’m just being repetitive.. And  rambling.. I-I should go now- So bye”

The girl turned around face palming herself while whispering a “way to go Y\N” to herself, but listened by the god.

---------

Loki sat by the windows with one of his many books in hands, trying to look distant while secretly watching Y\N. She was playing with some flowers in the small garden she built, against Tony’s will.  

“I want to make something really clear..” Sam started calling the attention  of the Norse god “ I’m just doing this because she can even talk to you for god’s sake” The man furrowed his brows for a second, but turned his focus to the conversation again

“You should talk to Y\N” The avenger breathed out “ I know this situation of yours its really complicated but I swear if keep hearing about those erotic dreams of hers every time we train or go to a mission, I’m gonna have to switch my partner. Which is something that wouldn’t be really in my interest since I really think she’s a good one.”

“She has erotic dreams about me?” Loki asked fighting a smirk that insisted to be painted in his lips

“That’s not really the point here man” Wilson said annoyed to which Loki just muttered a small ‘sorry’

“I understand your concern, but I don’t intend to press her into doing something she is still not ready to-” Loki started, but Sam raised his palm

“Believe me man, you should talk to her. Not saying you should ask her in marriage, but put the cards on the table. She deserves that …Just- Just talk to her and try not to mess it up or hurt her. Because then you’ll have the whole tower to go against, not to count her.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.. not again” Loki whispered lowly the last part but it wasn’t unnoticed by Sam. Even though, he decided to ignore.

The god turned again to observe his long lost lover, and found her gathering her books and some small flowers while the rain started to slowly fall. A smile came to his lips while he planned to finally end the situation between them.

---------

Y\N watched Wanda, while the sokovian cooked and moved around in the kitchen with a confused Vision trying to help her. The couple laughed when Vision messed something again. Y\N couldn’t help but remember a similar scene between her past self and Loki. Was right to refer Sigyn herself? She did not know. What she did know was that the goddess was a part to her and the more she trained her powers, more the memories showed themselves in her dreams, like vivid scenes.

“You should talk to him about all that. Maybe, it can even improve your training” Wanda’s voice startled her

“And you should really stop stalking people’s minds.” Y\N collected her long forgotten book on the table

“You know, he asked for you when he came back today” Wanda said returning to her cooking “ He was really hurt.. Almost unconscious..” Y\N could almost see the smile on her friend’s lips while she was turned, but that seemed unimportant considering the news that came from her

“He- He was hurt?” Wanda just nodded, turning herself to Y\N “You know, he’s a god and Thor said he’ll be fine but- Y\N?  Y\N!”  The girl turned in direction to the nursery but they informed that he insisted to be in his room.

“Loki..” She whispered touching the door with the tips of her fingers, as if it could burn her. At the slightest touch the door opened, while the AI’s voice said something about ‘authorized entering’

“You came..”  His voice was weak and she located him in the dark sat at his window

“Were you expecting me? … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound rude. It’s just Wanda said you were hurt and I got worried. But then again Thor said you were already fine, and the mission was nothing but that it did surprised you guys and Nat said- And I’m rambling again, am I? Sorry.. ” The girl lowered her gaze to her nervous hands in her sweater

“The Birdman was right, you should really try to breath between words love” Loki chuckled while Y\N turned tons of red

“ You- You heard that?” He just nodded with one his eyebrows raised “I mean, but you just heard that right? I mean.. Not that was something import in that conversation .. It’s just cause.. You know that wasn’t. But just .. Uhm did you – did you hear something else?” Loki got up from the chair and moved towards her at the door.

“Why don’t you come in darling? I think its past time we talked about what is happening between us..”

“I-uhm I think I’m fine here” He chuckled and stopped closely to her “ Or maybe not.. I should get in.. Okay.. Thanks” He closed the door behind her, and she closed her eyes from the proximity.

”It was always so strange for me the effect I had over you. You, the one who always left me so powerless” His voice was low and Y\N found herself trapped between his body and the closed door.

“Loki..” Y\N let out a gasp when she felt his breath against her neck. “We – We should… talk..” The god hummed, but kept his body close to hers. One of his hands glued to the closed door behind her, while the other caressed her arm up and down.

“Are you sure you can do that love?” The god mocked her, holding back a smile

“Not really,..” She half moaned when his hand moved to her hips pulling her closer “ But we should ..” For a brief moment, her eyes focused on his, and he backed down

“You’re right hum.. I am so sorry” Loki had his face frowned and looked away. She felt the urge to end the distance he established between them, but stopping mid step.

“Don’t be.. It felt like.. home.” The avenger smiled at her words and Loki turned his gaze to her, smiling too. “Sorry.., that’s weird.. I’m weird” Y\N shook her head moving her hands in her messed up sweater

“You are perfect, my love” Loki whispered lowly but still her head turned to him with a smile on her lips

“Did you love me- I mean her. Did you really love- Sigyn?”

“You are her, my darling. There is no you or her to be honest. You see, our bond was so strong that not even the gods or death itself could break. You found your way back to me... And I don’t intend to lose you again”

Slowly he closed the distance between them and held a piece of her hair, placing it behind her ear.

“I can’t promise you a life you deserve.. Gods, I don’t even know if you want me to promise you that, but I can promise you my entire devotion and eternal love, my darling.” Her eyes kept close as he caressed her face slowly, as she was to break.

“In my dreams.. Or memories, I don’t know. I just know that she loved you. Very much.” Loki smiled weakly, holding her chin and focusing her eyes on his.“ I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I’m also sorry you lost the woman you loved, and got me..” Y\N carried sadness in her voice and Loki frowned

“But my-“

“I’m not her Loki. I saw her… She looked perfect. She was perfect. And I’m.. Well, I’m not. I’m just part of her, and even though, I’m just learning.” Y\N exhaled letting a tear roll by her face.

“You think I loved you for the exterior beauty?” The god let out a small humorless laugh “ I love your soul and the way you make me feel alive. I love your energy and the way you care about others. And especially, I love the way you loved me”

“I love you” Y\N whispered lowly, fixating her eyes on his, while a smile broke in his lips

“I will always love you, my darling,” His hands held her face and she closed her eyes “my queen, my soul”

“Let’s make no promises this time, okay? Just.. Just try not let me go”

“I could never, love”

In that Y\N closed the small distance between them and kissed her lover. The kiss was the sweetest and her hands played with his hair, while his soft lips deepened the kiss by pulling her impossibly closer. When she shyly bit his lip, the god groaned, and his grip on her tightened. He inserted his tong in her mouth, dominating the kiss and making her moan.

---------

When the girl woke up she felt sore. All her muscles hurt, even though she felt at peace. It was as her whole body whispered that no harm could come even if hurt to move. And before she could move or open her eyes, his voice filled her ears.

“.. And here I am, scared to blink and wake from the dream that I live since you came back to me”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily Mr..” Y\N responded with her eyes still closed. She could hear his chuckle and feel the way his chest vibrated through her back.

“I do hope so my darling. I cannot live without you..”

“I love you Loki” She turned burying her face in his chest while hugging his sides. The god smiled at the sweet affection and held her close.

“BROTHER IS EVERYTHING OK WITH YOU? YOU DID NOT COME TO THE TRAINING AND –“ Thor’s voice came loud from the door and before the god of mischief could reply his lover did

“THOR, YOUR BROTHER WILL NOT BE AVALIBALE TODAY”

“Lady Y\N?” The god of thunder lowered his voice but the shock in his tone made Loki smile. He dropped his gaze only to find his Y\N with her eyes closed.

“Yep, and now you better let us go back to sleep, believe me you don’t want to mess with a sleep deprived me Thor.”

“Well, in that case I’m sorry to bother Lady Y\N ,but dare I say, I am really happy for you both”

“Yeah, yeah, bye Thor” His brother’s goodbye was long forgotten when Loki felt his beloved snuggle herself closer to him

“Training.. Pft.. Like I’d let you get away from here..”  Loki bit his laugh and only chuckled kissing the top of her head. Feeling Y\N drift off into sleep he left himself fall in the deep, peaceful sensation knowing that now everything was complete again..