#i do like the consistency of care bear in marissa's room's....

[loneliestpeopleinnewport]

wip for the marissa return to newport to help with the sethmer wedding and reconnect with ryan untitled fic...

[antmfunny]

4. My Dinner With Ashley

The models really need to learn to lock the door, because Ashley Graham is able to walk into the model house unannounced. Fortunately, she’s bearing groceries. She’s here to teach the models about healthy eating (or as she calls it “not not eating”) by making kale pesto pasta for supper.

While dinner is being prepped, Krislian seeks some advice from Ashley, who she believes has previously been in her shoes. Sexy, sexy shoes. Ashley is careful to distinguish a difference between her and Krislian, explaining that she takes sexy pictures in order to show women of a certain size that they can be sexy too. Maybe if Krislian can think of a charity she’s supporting, her inherit sexiness will seem more noble.

We see a brief snippet of Krislian and Ashley discussing the fact that they were both sexually harassed in their youths, but before I can even congratulate the show on addressing a weighty subject, the edit shifts focus. Soon after, the editors do find time to include a clip of Ashley spanking Marissa’s ass, so yes, I think it’s safe to say that the audience missed out on a valuable opportunity to learn more about sexual harassment.

During Krislian and Ashley’s heart-to-heart, Courtney interrupts by entering the room looking for more wine while wearing a unicorn onesie BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WOULD. At least Ashley has the decency to put Courtney on blast:

Yeah, I mean why the fuck IS Courtney wearing a unicorn onesie to a dinner party? First of all, Cherish is the show’s one true unicorn! Second, that isn’t the outfit she’s wearing when Ashley first arrives, which means that at some point, Courtney thinks, “I better change into this for that meal I’m having with someone I’m trying to impress.”

Actually a lot of the girls seem woefully underdressed for having a guest/mentor over to dinner. Krislian and Cody are in sports bras, which somehow seems downright modest compared to Tatiana’s skimpy bikini top.

Here’s a hint: anytime they’ve got to blur your nipple in the middle of dinner, it’s time to put a shirt on.

The fashion choices are so bad, that I almost feel like I should give CoryAnne a pass for her moth-eaten top.

I know what you’re thinking: how modelesque and eclectic!

Before the women get to eating, Marissa requests that someone say grace. Paige eagerly volunteers for the task because reciting a prayer is basically like cheerleading for God. She takes a non-denominational approach: “Dear Lord, or the universe, or whatever you believe in…” which especially excites India. Looks like we have a little pagan on our hands, as if I didn’t love India enough already.

Then the editors have fun cutting to various girls during the prayer:

like Cody and Courtney, who are nothing if not wholly supportive of one another

and Binta, who we all regard as the most friendly, sisterly model in the house

and Tatiana who will be the winner of the show. Or NOT the winner of the show, since it seems to be opposite day.  

Paige ends the prayer with the word “fierceness,” which you just know is a shoutout to God herself, Tyra Banks. At the very least, it’s clear that a higher power is looking out for Paige, because once again she made a face like this and she still wasn’t sent home:

Finally, the girls can eat.

It’s not clear whether CoryAnne doesn’t like kale pesto pasta in particular, or if she’s not a fan of “not not eating” in general.  

Dinner conversation consists of Binta asking what she can do to show the judges her personality. Yikes, Binta, the less the judges know about your real personality, the better your chances of staying will be.

As Ashley starts to say her goodbyes, Tatiana hilariously offers her one of the spare beds. I mean, there was a lot of wine consumed!

Ashley, we all know you kept that man waiting until marriage (because you told us even though we didn’t ask) so don’t act like he couldn’t manage for a single night. More likely, she knows all about how kale makes you gassy, and she wants to clear out before dinner is digested. Can’t say I blame her!  

5 Funniest Moments of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 23 Ep. 6