#i do like my little guy though. he's giving 'that classmate who's clearly queer in some way but-

[lynnsenpai]

Regarding the last question you answered.

I actually had a theory that Randy always knew rain was trans or atleast figured it out and decided to not out her

OK so it starts like this.

Randy early in the year finds out he's bisexual and manages to confess it to his friend holly.

But then having and Maria outright say they're nit interested in knowing about him they wanna know about rain.

( as seen I'm the coming out day comic)

As he's often overlooked he luckilly doesn't get any negative attention for his queerness though.

He then gets a job at gamesnop and around Christmas he has a customer who makes him feel.. Weird.. A guy that looks somewhat similar too rain from his class. Said guy initially seemed normal just wanting to get a gift for his "little brother". That made Randy think "oh he's probably not related then) and went on to recommend a console for the man.

What seemed like just 10 minutes later tho

The guy came back ranting to Randy that he wanted to return the console.

When Randy asked why the guy ranted about his little brother being a "insert words that would make a sailor blush here"

Randy being startled and a bit annoyed tried to calm the man down and said something along the lines of " OK look Sir, I get that you are angry but that is it you are angry and not thinking rationally right now. You might regret returning it later especially if you want to salvage the relationship with your family you clearly cared enough about them to buy this in the first place"

The guy responded with that being a good point and left.

Having hopefully saved a familial relationship and having defiently saved himself the trouble of explaining the return to his bisa randy got thinking.

He connected the dots and got the conclusion that rain is trans.

(As seen in chaoter 12 drab. And the rain delay returns)

He thought about talking to her for a second but then remembered that this could put her in alot of troubke. Being satisfied with atleast having answers he went in his merry way and minded his own buisness.

And then years later when his old classmate announces she IS trans he gives a silent thumbs up

So yea that's my version of Randy's story what do you think?

Impromptu fanfic! :D Sure. Why not? I can't see any reason to say no to this. ^_^

[moe-broey]

Extremely messy doodle pile to honor an equally messy game LMFAO

(I'm not very far yet! Keep getting distracted and provoking level 50+ Pokemon in the mountains. For reference my team are in their low to mid 20s.)

[forestlingincorporated]

Bernard Dowd

DC made me do it. Fandom made me do it. So here it is, the character retrospective I never thought I’d ever write. 

Bernard Dowd was introduced on December 17th, 2003, in Robin #121. Tim has recently transferred to Louis E. Grieve Memorial High School, his fourth school since his introduction when he was 13; Tim is 16 now, and was recently forced to drop out of Brentwood due to his father’s bad investments loosing them their upper class status. Jack and Dana Drake are still alive. 

Bernard Dowd is the first person Tim meets when transferring to this new school. Bernard picks him out of the crowd as new, and immediate tries to determine what Tim’s clique is, only to determine, as we all know, Tim is pretty much impossible to cleanly box. 

Bernard thinks very highly of himself. He views himself as also being above cliques, and wants to give Tim the impression that he’s “runs the school.” He thinks of himself as a cool guy, and he doesn’t like to be called “Bernie.” 

His attempts to befriend Tim are rather presumptive in a way that comes off as rude. He treats Tim like a lost little lamb in need of guidance. 

So, Tim ends up casual friends with Bernard. In fact, at this point in time, Tim says he’s his only friend at school. 

Bernard has a crush on fellow classmate and lowkey daughter of a crime boss, Darla Aquista. (Yes, that Darla Aquista, of TimSteph relationship drama fame.) He is the one to introduce Tim to Darla, and Tim embarrasses him by calling his bluff over whether or not he’d actually ask her out if her jock friends were removed from the picture. This is when you start to get the feeling Bernard might be all talk and bravado. He’s not the cool, confident, popular guy he makes himself out to be. 

After Tim looses Robin, he invites Bernard over for dinner with his family. His and Tim’s relationship seems... complicated. On the one hand, Tim likes him enough to invite him over to his house, and he’s probably Tim’s closest friend during a period of time when his other relationships are distant (friends at other schools) or cut entirely (the hero community). That said, Bernard is CLEARLY depicted as... skeezy, and skeezy about people in Tim’s life, in a way Tim doesn’t appreciate. 

Months later, if the passing of seasons is to be believed, Bernard is the person to inform Tim that there’s a new Robin. Tim seems to have a larger friend group at Louis E. Grieve, he’s worked out a friendship with Darla even though she still seems to have a slight crush on him, and seems to be friends with several of the footballers, but he still has time for Bernard. 

Bernard believes wild conspiracies that Batman works for a shadow government and owns secret orphanages full of Robins that only last for about three days before they die and get buried in secret government graveyards. 

We don’t see Bernard for a while after this. Darla Aquista is shot at school, dying in Tim’s arms. Stephanie Brown’s death is faked. Tim’s father dies, and his stepmother is in such mentally bad shape she has to be checked into a special clinic in Bludhaven, so Tim transfers to John Wayne High School, his fifth school since he was 13. 

A lot of shit goes down between the school shooting and the next (and last) time we see Bernard in Robin #140. He’s meeting up with a girl named Linda, when his vehicle is destroyed by none other than Darla Aquista, back from the dead as Warlock’s Daughter, who is looking for Tim. 

After she scares the shit out of him, they go to Gotham Grille for age-appropriate drinks, and Bernard tells her that the high school closed down after the shooting and all the students’ families received settlement money. With that money, Bernard attended an unnamed private school. 

He offers to help her become a superhero, which she turns down. While he’s pretty rude to Linda over the phone, he’s depicted softer here, He seems earnest in his desire to help Darla, even if he still has an underlying bit a selfishness. I personally feel like he comes off a little less like the Annoying Try Hard he started out as, and has a bit more Booster Gold-esque charm to him. 

But, we never see him again, after he helps her track down Tim’s new address with his Fake Uncle, so he was lost to the pile of Tim’s former normal boy friends to be forgotten. 

UNTIL BATMAN: URBAN LEGENDS! 

Right now, everyone is excited because Batman: Urban Legends #4′s been released and Tim Drake has some strong Might End Up Coming Out As MLM Soon? vibes. He’s got this Discovering New Things About Himself arc in this comic that’s framed in a very Gay Coded way. Focusing on a gay male couple with the dialog box “like me” over it, Barbara talking about how he’s afraid looking too deeply at himself might “change” him, stuttering over how his old friend “looks,” and of course this pseudo date he’s goes on with Bernard. 

I cannot actually analyze the whole comic in depth, because I don’t own it; I ordered the trade, so I won’t be receiving it until December. This is what I’ve gathered from screen shots of this comic alone. I don’t think Urban Legends is technically in the main canon, but I would not be surprised if this was a test to see how audiences respond - like Joker shooting Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke (which isn’t canon) resulting in Barbara Gordon’s very canon paralysis. 

There’s some speculation at the moment that Bernard himself might actually be evil, or working for the bad guys. I think it’s equally possible he might be targeted by the bad guys, and not necessarily evil himself. But neither scenario would particularly surprise me, it seems unlikely he would be reintroduced as solely a potential love interest for Tim, if that is indeed the route they’re going down. Consider old flames of Bruce’s that get reintroduced, they’re often connected to the plot in some way. 

I... have not exactly sugar coated that I don’t like Bernard. Honestly, I AM trying to be fair. THIS Bernard seems lovely, from the screen caps, but my most recent experience with Bernard was a recent reread of the Robin series, and I just don’t find him historically likable. Some people may disagree, but I personally think some of those some people are maybe going back after reading THIS comic and rereading him with rose-tinted glasses he hasn’t quite earned. 

So, I personally am not going to start shipping this, at least not right now, though I am putting on my clown make up getting my hopes up that Tim might come out as gay or bi. I’m personally hoping he’s gay, but that’s just me seeing a lot of myself in Tim, and projecting my own experience with compulsory heterosexuality onto him, and I think it would be interesting to explore that with an established character. I would still be happy with bi/pan Tim Drake, and I think that would probably make the most people happy - fans of Tim’s opposite-sex ships get to win, and fans of Tim’s queer ships get to win, and bi/pan people would get a big name character as representation. What would make the most people angry, is if this ends up as a queerbait during Pride Month of all things. 

I... have no hope they might make him demisexual, I don’t know if DC even knows what that word means. 

[phantomphangphucker]

Phango - Not So Strangers In The Night

(Swagger Bishie + Identity Reveal + Ghost King)

Dash wants many things but there’s two he’s sure he just can’t have, Danny meanwhile, doesn’t think ‘can’t’ is an actual word.

Dash sighs mentally, eyeballing Danny out of the corner of his eye. There had always just been something about how lithe the guy’s body was, the way his clothing would occasionally cling or hang off him giving away the skinnier body underneath. Personally, he would never wear oversized clothing himself, but it was more than a little attractive on people with petite frames.

Watching Danny stretch his arms over his head and yawn in a way that was almost cat-like. He doesn’t know when Danny’d gotten his teeth done like that, the fangs, but they added an even more slender and sharp edge to his face. Moving his gaze up the other teens' jawline to mentally trace out a sharp line all the way past the tapered ears. Everything about Danny’s face was sharp, defined...and incredibly attractive.

Glancing back to Danny’s arms just before he lowers them, the oversized sweater just thin enough and just heavy enough to give away the ever so slight hint of defined muscles underneath. Dash has no clue how that happened and he was honestly a bit hurt and dismayed when he noticed Danny bulking up. How could he not notice? It was so very obvious every time he grabbed around the now practically rock hard biceps to drag the kid off for his daily beating. Or when he snuck a peek down Danny’s shirt, as he always did, when pinning him up against some locker. He knows attacking Danny is pretty stupid, but Dash knows he’s not a smart guy. And really? A jock with a loser? A freak? Never. He’d be a social pariah. So he gets his hands on his secret little crush the only way he knows how. With rough hands and a strong dose of aggression. He does relish the closeness too though with that strange muscle Danny’s built, he does wonder why Danny never truly fights back. He honestly wouldn’t mind getting rough up by the lithe teen. That was half the reason he loved football after all, and working out. The bruises, the cuts, the sore muscles. Pain was a pleasure and carried a feeling of power. Knowing just what your body could do and take. And he’ll admit to testing Danny’s limits sometimes. Seeing just how much pain he could take, which honestly just left him feeling very impressed...and attracted.

But back to why Danny’s muscle growth had bugged him. In the beginning, it did anyway. See Danny had always been skinny, there was a daintiness to him, yet lithe. It’s not like Danny never had muscle, no, it had just been muscle potential hidden away. And wondering just what he could do if that potential developed was a bit exhilarating. Just like getting a new teammate on the field. But his fellow jocks were all rather brutish in their muscle and psyche, which Dash firmly did not have an interest in. And sure, maybe he had gone a little blind, thinking that the only real options were skinny, beefy, or fat.

So imagine his hidden horror with that mindset, when Danny -with the perfect femboy bod, with all the sharpness needed to have a somewhat pixie look- seemed to be transitioning into the beefy category? Over time that worry was quelled, Danny’s muscle was so different. He never seen such a lean tight kind of musculature, Danny even seemed to become more sharp; sharper jaw, the ears, even his eyes had a sharpness. It was, dare he say, exotic. Which if anything, only added to the femboy pixie look. Which okay, sue him, he liked cutesy shit; definitely explained his taste in men. Not that anyone actually knew that. Dash Baxter, number one football star and the example of masculinity, being interested in anything ‘cute’? Never. He had an image he had to keep.

That was one thing he was insanely jealous of Danny over. Danny’s freaky family made it so that it didn’t damn matter what he did or how he acted. Nothing was unexpected behaviour from a Fenton. And he was already a social pariah. Danny could literally transform into a dog or some shit and no one would really be all that surprised. He might get a few new insults hurled at him but that’s it. But Dash? The slight wrong move and goodbye scholarships or dealing with a furious father. ‘Cause don’t let it fool you, regardless of what the colleague heads said publicly, they absolutely did discriminate. Especially in sports. And bi in football? Bi and hocked up with a cute little thing who was a social outcast of the lowest most mocked kind? Surely his life and future would explode right in front of his face.

And of course there was the issue of if Danny would even be interested. Because finally owning up only to get rejected? By said lowest of the low twink? That would beyond worse. So yeah, the risk wasn’t worth it. And he wasn’t quite dull enough to not realise that Danny probably did not like him, the ‘bullying’ and all that. So even if Danny did swing that way, well, Dash’s chances were pretty well nothing.

Making a damn point to jeer mockingly and with a level of intimidation at the weirdo trio as he passes them on his way to class, firmly making a point to not react to picking up on Danny clearly not being fearful and even smirking slightly. It honestly pleased him immensely that Danny didn’t seem to actually fear him. Again, it was something like hidden strength. That was one thing that had always separated Danny from the other skinny kids, he wasn’t fearful. He was bold and loud. Even if that only really showed if you looked for it or caught him on more of his more mirth filled days. Simply put, Danny had never been pathetic. Never been weak. Even back when he was physically very much weak -Dash had to give him fitness training for peats sake- he had never been mentally weak.

Sitting at the back of the class next to Kwan, sneaking glances at Danny here and there. This was something he liked to do in the less important and boring classes, recently anyway. Sure he had always admired Danny with glances here and there but another one of Danny’s changes was just too intriguing not to watch.

Danny often slept in classes, that was boring and honestly made him worry some which is why he went easier on the guy on the days he seemed to be napping more often than not, but when he didn’t and it was one of these more useless classes? He’d go between looked over the other students and scanning the town through the window next to him. The sharpness to his eyes was most noticeable then and there was something about the way he looked over the rest of their classmates. It reminded Dash of how people talked about how gods and angels would gaze upon humans. Like they were impossibly and unimaginably above them yet fond and even protective. It really added to that pixie aesthetic Danny had, made him seem just that more ethereal. ‘Ethereal’ that’s a new one, maybe he got more out of Lancer’s crappy poetry babble than he thought. That thought makes him wonder if Danny would like fancy words and that poetry stuff. All the fae in his moms' romance novels -which yes he did secretly read- seemed to love that kind of stuff.  And sure, he’s pretty sure Danny’s human, ethereal aspects aside, but a guy can imagine can’t he? Dash quickly brings his attention back to the teacher as Danny’s watchful yet distant gaze travels to him. At least he isn’t a blusher, Dash is more than a little thankful for that.

Dash is laying on his bed, quickly turning his head to the side as an explosion sounds. Promptly springing up and sticking his head out the window at spotting Phantom zip by, “WOOOO! Go get him Phantom!”, he can’t help but beam as Phantom glances back and sends him a little wave with a cocky smile.

Dash sighs and flops back against his bed, his crush on Phantom was another dirty little secret. Sure he may pass himself off as ‘his biggest fan’ and he certainly wasn’t nearly as bad -or delusional if he’s blunt- as Paulina, but he definitely was a part of the Phantom Crush Club in spirit. Since of course no one knew about this crush either. Queer thing aside, Phantom was a ghost. Which yes, was part of the attraction so sue him, again the whole ethereal thing. Man that word’s becoming a personal favourite.

Phantom’s glow combined with the white of his hair and skin, that definitely qualified as ethereal. The powers were whatever really, cool and probably really fun but not where Dash’s attraction is based. And really, if anything made Dash’s type clear it was his two crushes. Both of them had the lithe pixie feel to them. Sharp in all the right places and brimming with hidden strength. Though Phantom’s might be much more literal. But honestly, Dash preferred Danny’s less showy nature. Phantom demanded attention, the skin-tight jumpsuit definitely did not help reduce that, and he was loud in a way that could border on obnoxious. Danny was a sleek black cat with piercing knowing eyes, Phantom was a mighty dragon always coiled for a fight.

Blinking at the ceiling, “I’m getting all fancy, man I really need to sleep”. Turning over in his bed only for his hand to brush against the corner of a book, “hurgh?”, pulling it out towards his face and squinting. Staring at the little scrap paper used as a bookmark, “probably a bad idea”, but flicking the book open anyway; a bit curious where he left off.

“I wondered if my head and heart would ever reconcile, or whether I'd just cursed myself to relive this moment for the rest of my years, half assured I'd made the only choice available to me, half always whispering if only, the whole of me filled with bitter regret“ ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash blinks and grumbles, “you didn’t have to call me out like that”. Deciding to flip around to a random page.

“Are you in love with me?" I blurted out.

A terrible silence followed. Rook didn't turn around.

"Please say something."

He rounded on me. "Is that so terrible? You say it as though it's the most awful thing you can imagine. It isn't as though I've done it on purpose. Somehow I've even grown fond of your - your irritating questions, and your short legs, and your accidental attempts to kill me."

I recoiled. "That's the worst declaration of love I've ever heard!” ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash chuckles but sighs, “fate hates me”. Deciding to try once more, flipping closer to the beginning.

“My cheeks warmed, and a wistful pang plucked a sweet, sad chord in my stomach. It was simple, really. He didn’t want me to forget him once he’d gone” ~ An Enchantment Of Ravens

Dash blinks, he did always rather like seeing the slight busies he left on Danny. Which now that he thinks about it, they didn’t seem to form anymore or stay for long. Which, okay yes, bugged him, not like he knew why really. Guess it was kind of obvious now. Maybe Danny would See those bruises and remember him. Was that stupid? Likely. Snapping the book shut and sticking it more securely under the mattress, before making a point to force himself to settle down to sleep.

He finds himself waking up way too early for a school day, turning his head to look at the little football-shaped clock, it’s red light glare at him reading ‘3:42’. If non-ghostly objects could be malicious, he’s sure every alarm clock would be. The early morning leading to him thinking back on his current book, the story of a fae royal and human falling in love. Forbidden love that would cost the fae his reputation. Sounded a little familiar huh?

Twenty minutes later and his mind’s still on that damn book, so he throws the blankets off and decides to get dressed. Thankfully sneaking out was relatively easy in his house, normally everyone was so loud that quiet noises went completely unnoticed. So just walking out the front door was a perfectly fine thing to do.

Five minutes later finds him wandering the sidewalks of Amity. If he’s being totally honest, even if Danny wasn’t some social peasant or whatever, he still wouldn’t go for it; even if he was a girl. Why? Hitting on girls like Paulina was easy, expected even. There was no risk. Even if girls like we rejected him, that’s what they were expected to do most of the time. But someone he was actually interested in? That was risky. The thought of trying to take it was thrilling, attractive, fun. Actually trying? Nope.

Kicking a rock down the gravel as he enters the park, eventually bumping into to something or someone. Snapping his head up and cursing his luck -or maybe he should be thanking it?- at seeing it was Danny he ran into...literally. Watching as Danny steadies himself quickly, his hood fällig down in the process. Dash has to make a damn point to not stare and change his face to a scowl when the moonlight practically glows of Danny’s pale skin. Why did he have to be so, um, right, ethereal? “Watch it loser”.

Danny squints at him, then throws Dash through a loop by responding with, “no one wanders around at four am for good reasons”.

Dash blinks a bit at those watchful blue-eyes, losing a bit of the fake bite that Danny hopefully passes off as tiredness, “then why are you here?”.

“Why would I tell you why?”, with that Danny turns back to look over the rest of the park from the little bridge thingy they’re on.

Dash scoffs, “whatever Fentwerp”, joining in looking over the park. The two settle into silence, though it doesn’t take long for Dash to glance at Danny’s back; the dark grey hoodie was arguably in horrible condition but it just looked like a style choice on Danny. Everything probably looked good on him. Flicking his eyes away to avoid Danny possibly noticing, because really, there was no one else here so any staring from him would be rather obvious. That gets him thinking though, when had he ever been just one on one with Danny? With neither of their friends around or teachers? Never. It had never happened. Dash didn’t do lonely, he also didn’t do silence for that matter, and Danny’s friends were practically attached to him. Honestly, he’s pretty sure both of them are crushing on Danny; Valerie definitely still had a thing for him, everyone knew the goth did and the techno-geek had a thing for everyone. And yet none of them were going for him...why? They didn’t really have anything to lose and Valerie already had once. Right, even Paulina had dated him; even if she claimed it was to piss off the goth. Maybe there was just something about Danny that made him easy to crush on but impossible to love? Maybe it had something to do with how he was, what was that word? How could he have forgotten it already?....oh right, ethereal. Or maybe it was because he was ethereal. It was pretty obvious people are, um, put-off? -That sounds right- by things that seem inhuman. What with all the horror movies about such people, and that was a pretty common theme with human/non-human romances. Personally, he didn’t get it. Sharp, predatory, the thrum of potential power or danger, the otherworldliness -he’s pretty sure he’s read it described with that word once- he liked that.

Flicking his eyes back to Danny watching as he opens his mouth to sigh almost soundlessly, fangs dragging across his lips. Yeah, shit like that is going to be the death of Dash. With the silence officially be too much for the jock, Dash mutters, “four am is a stupid time”.

Danny snorts, “perfect for you then”, before pushing off the railing and eyeballing Dash. Smirking slightly, “you still keep a collection of teddy bears?”.

“Oh screw y-”, Dash cuts himself off, there’s not really anyone here to play pretend for. “Yeah, so what I like cute shit, what’s it to ya Fenton”. Including cute shit like you, being left unsaid.

Dash doesn’t miss how Danny’s eyes seem to glint while Danny tilts his head at him before those eyes glance around a little. Dash isn’t sure what he sees or is looking for, while Danny hums before speaking, “so often you aren’t quite what you seem, huh Dash?”. Then walking a bit to stand side to side with Dash, hands in his pockets, “you allow those around you to dictate who you are. Stop that, it’s stupid. You’ll never find what you want or who you fit with that way”.

Dash turns and watches Danny walk off. In some way it almost feels like Danny was never actually here.  Looking back tot the bridge and touch where Danny’s hand had been to find it cold. Was he tired enough to actually be imagining Danny being, well, Danny? He’s not sure he’d even be able to imagine the sharpness of Danny’s eyes. Sighing a bit and not sure if he wished the maybe Danny had stuck around or not. Before deciding to walk some more, the air smelled nice at least and no one was around to give a damn how he acted.

Turning and walking off the bridge only to nearly shriek from some blonde-haired guy just suddenly being there. He doesn’t look friendly and the scar over his face doesn’t help that, yet Dash finds himself frozen in spot. He knew he could move, kinda wants to, but something just feels like he shouldn’t. Maybe it was the piercing blue eyes, how even with the strong moonlight he had no shadow, or the cruel-looking smile that somehow felt kind.

Swallowing a bit thickly as the man approaches, the clicking of his purple walking stick being the only sound. The stranger looks up at him slightly, “restless soul, looking for something in another land. The kind heroes and villains dance upon. You think you know your path best, and yet, are just a vagabond too fearful of quicksand to walk from the desert dunes to find an oasis of blues and greens. You are parched dry from your ways, yet refuse to chase waters deeper than you know”.

Dash blinks, catching the moonlight glint off the strange gear cog collar pins, “what?”.

The man chuckles, “you hold tears of the potential of judgment. A soul of man, whose fading light will one day be at its end. Seeking to paint your existences canvas with the lord of graves. One who you’ll grant find in time, one way or another. Painted soot or painted snow. Regardless. Would you not rather run your hands through the textures while you can enjoy it and endeavour it while having a pulse to half match under your skin?”.

Dash’s brain is pretty well mud right now, “who are you?”.

He shrugs, “I’m a tale of time, that history has lost. I see, I guide, I exist. And you, you are a bird that thinks it’s a boar”.

One thing Dash can always do is pick up on insults, and that was an insult, even if he has no clue what that was supposed to mean, “I’m not a meathead”.

The stranger holds up a finger and smiles, his eyes have an oldness to them that is honestly unpleasant, “precisely. You fear not the dark nor the monster with in, you fear the light and things far weaker than you. The boar charges and fights the bull, the bird lives alongside it. You feign your charges, act the boar, even as your flyer eyes see that the target is something to walk with, not against. You do this so others think you are a boar, why would you want to? boars die foolish. Be glad your bull is more of a lording cat, one that won’t strike you down”.

Dash blinks and steps back a little bit, “er, whatever you weird old man”. To make a point, Dash walls forward and around the stranger, but not too close because seriously, what the fuck?

The stranger doesn’t move but follows Dash with his eyes, speaking again just as Dash walks past, “you may find your lithe cat will enjoy your feathers quite fine. And one more thing”, Dash glances back and the stranger winks with a grin, “it’s not time that’s stupid, it’s what you do with that time”.

To say Dash is confused, as he walks the gravel path feeling slightly paranoid, would be an understatement. Lancer’s weird poetry crap made more sense than that. But the weirdos' last words sounding so much like Danny’s is giving him a weird gut feeling that the guy was somehow talking about Danny. Officially deciding he needs to back to sleep, he must be having awake fever dreams or something.

Dash walks through the school doors, firmly glad he got more sleep. Part of him wants to confirm seeing Danny wasn’t some weird fever dream, the other part is a bit distracted when, in his taking in of Danny’s lithe form, he notices the small gear cog charm hanging off his chain belt. It looked exactly the same as the weird guys' pins, has Dash just walked into some strange fantasy story or something?

Looking away and storming through the halls like he owns them, which he does, when Danny looks to him. Catching Danny’s eyes seemingly becoming sharper for a second and his hand brushing the charm on his belt. Why did he feel like Danny noticing where he was staring was somehow...what was that word? Some that started with a ‘c’?whatever, it was somehow a strong play.

Danny just suddenly appearing and stepping out of a bathroom stall, that Dash is sure was empty, during lunch rather confirms his thoughts. Looking Danny over through the mirror, his head was titled and he quickly locks gazed with Dash through the mirror. This was that sharp edge really showing through, and god damn if that wasn’t stupidly attractive. Snapping at him, “what you being creepy for, you freaky weirdo”.

Danny scoffs and rolls his eyes, “it seemed rather timely”.

Dash blinks a bit at Danny almost jarringly quickly snapping his gaze back to Dash’s face in the mirror. The first thought to worm into his head is that this seemed like a cat stalking after a bird. Then basically getting dropped kicked in the brain by Deja Vu. Muttering at the mirror, “what is it with that bird shit”.

“What, someone give you a weird birds and the bees talk?”, Danny snickers, “thought you were too old for that”.

Dash squints at the mirror, was that what that guy was going off about? Honestly anything seems possible. Looking Danny over, if there was one thing everyone knew it was how used to strange he was. How part of it he was, because of his family. But Dash knows there’s more to it than that, that he was something different and strange all on his own. He’s also sure that’s not just his interest in the ethereal boy talking. Deciding to go out on a limb, not like anyone would judge him for using a Fenton to figure out some weird shit, “maybe? Who knows what’s up with weirdos”, turning around and looking more directly at Danny, who’s looking at him with critical sharp eyes, “some guy going off about drinking ‘oasis’ of blue and green. That my cat will like my feathers”.

Danny smirks knowingly and moves to wash his hands in the sink, “sounds like a riddle if I’ve ever heard one. Maybe think of who you associate with blue and who with green”, chuckling and shaking his head a little, locking eyes with Dash in the mirror again, “and who you think of as a ‘cat’. Otherwise, sounds like someone’s telling you to stop holding yourself back and chase after what you want”. Danny walks out leaving Dash just kind of staring at the sink.

Dash spends the rest of the day casting glances at Danny a fair bit more often than he usually does. Pretty well sure the boy knew what the strange guy meant but was just letting Dash figure it out himself. He finds he can respect that a bit, even if he’s definitely annoyed. The fact that Danny is seemingly brushing up against him in the hallways doesn’t help, or maybe it does. Because fine, yes he likes it. The fantasy of Danny being forward towards him in an attracted way won’t stop circling in his head. But it isn’t until the second to last class that something clicks. Watching Danny suddenly stiffening, like he often did before running off to the bathroom mysteriously, Dash could have sworn Danny’s face twisted in anger and eyes flashed green for a second as he stands and speed walks out of the classroom. Leaving Dash blinking and getting slapped by Deja Vu again. ‘Blue and green’, blinking more at that making other things click in place. Everything about Danny was lithe, he’d even described him as cat-like. Was weird dude telling him to get with Danny? The hell? How did weird guy even know that?

He guesses that’s one way for the universe or whatever to say something’s fate or some bullshit. But real life doesn’t work like that...right? Well okay, ghosts are real so there is some make-believe that’s real. But then Dash, Hell no one, would ever describe Danny as a bull. A bull that’s a cat, that doesn’t even make sense. Shaking his head as class ends.

Walking out thinking of soot and snow, and didn’t that guy also say something about heroes? Soot was black right? Googling away to find that yes it was, as he makes it to his next class. Of course snow was white. So black and white. Well shit, that was Danny and Phantom’s hair colours; and Phantom was a hero. Danny had organised that rescue mission, so could he be labelled ‘hero’ too. Not really, it was a one-time thing after all.

Groaning and hitting his head into the desk only for the teacher to snap at him about paying attention. Mentally shoving all this crap away, basically mentally screaming at it to sort itself out.

Seeing Danny after last class across the hall and walking towards Danny with a glare, because he absolutely needs to take out his romantically frustrated aggression and, if he’s honest, mentally frustrated aggression -because thoughts of that weirdo just will not leave him alone- on someone.

Dash grabs him and slams him into the lockers, speaking without a whole lot of power behind his worlds, because he’s more than a little preoccupied and Danny’s eyes glittering with mirth and knowing does not help, “you know, I kinda feel like making you eat locker, weirdo”.  

Danny speaks with a smirk, “weirdly cute you mean”. Dash sputters and promptly drops Danny, turning on his heel and speed walking off. Though he does throw a glance over his shoulder back at Danny, who looks more smug than anything he’s ever seen before; making Dash blush furiously and then feeling annoyed at blushing.

Dash decides that night that if his head’s just gonna be stuck in a pit of ‘just ask him, you know you want to’ and weird mutterings about painting with the lord of graves -whatever the heck that means- then he might as well finish his book. Well, his mom’s book but still. It seems suiting enough.

He flat-out drops the book when he gets to the point where Gadfly -an ageless fae who can see the future and all the twists and turns it might or might not take- functionally admits to setting up Isobel with Rook. The mortal with the inhuman prince, who -as Dash finishes the book with a fair amount of shock- comes to stand as the King of all fae. The lord of fae. The lord of graves? Was Danny some kind of ethereal prince? King? Or something? And heck! Gadfly was even blonde too! The Hell? And didn’t weird guy go off about Dash painting or something? Isobel’s a painter. Officially finding this a little too weird, Dash closes the book and tucks it away. Looking out the window and deciding that another -not really early enough to be morning but too early to be night- walk might get him more answers.

Somehow, Dash thinks as he watches Danny fiddling with a dandelion puff from afar on the same bridge as before, this isn’t surprising. Shaking himself off and making a point to shove down all the weird stupid feelings, before walking over with his hands in his pockets. “So you’re out here again”

Danny speaks without looking to him, “so are you”.

Dash scoffs and looks at his shoes a little, something tells him Danny wouldn’t be out wandering the night because of a book and some weird guy. The boy would probably handle it without being fazed much at all, “what? do you just wander around in the dead of night for fun?”.

Danny chuckles and side-eyes him, “maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Under the moonlight seems like a great place to be, don’t it?”.

Dash leans against the bridge railing, “it is ethereal I guess”.

Danny laughs and it’s a bit loud, “ethereal, that’s a big word for you. Now I wonder what could make you learn a word like that. Something so applicable to the strange and otherworldly”.

Dash bites his lip slightly at that, feeling incredibly called out, though ha! ‘Otherworldly’ was a word used for it. For people like Danny. Dash scoffs, “whatever, it’s got it’s uses”.

They stand in silence, both looking in opposite directions for a while. Until Dash blushes slightly at Danny humming, recognising the tune as Strangers In The Night.

Now Dash isn’t that much of an idiot, he’s not smart but he’s not dumb. He can recognise a blatant call out when he sees one. Danny knew. And...wasn’t being a dick about it, much. Wasn’t brushing him off. Dash isn’t sure if he’s confused by that or not.

Turning his head slightly to look at where the strange man had been last night before blurting out, “you’re mean”.

Danny laughs loudly at that and looks at Dash, who firmly avoids turning his head further to meet the gaze, “oh yes, says the bully. But you know what they say, ‘he only hits you ‘cause he likes you’”.

Dash jerks a bit and gapes, maybe he underestimated the boldness of Danny. While Danny sighs after a while of furthered silence, “it’s a darker night out hmmm? The darkness always holds something, a secretiveness to it. Where you can watch without being seen or act without being watched. In every story it crawls with monsters, things of depravity. Things people think are wrong, shouldn’t see the light of day. But those things are free in a sense that those who secluded themselves to daylight can never be. Monsters and those who hide, yet even they need to be brought into the sun sometimes. Wouldn’t you say?”.

Dash’s brain had stalled on the monster comment. That weird guy had gone off about monsters too. The whole him not fearing monsters or something? Danny was clearly weird, different. Didn’t people get called monsters in all those mutant movies over being different? And Phantom, well, the Fenton’s literally shouted that he was a monster. This was turning into some beauty and the beast shit. That makes him practically pitch forwards and face-plant into the ground.

Danny catches him and mutters, “geez, are you so repressed that the idea of not being so makes you want to eat the ground you walk upon?”.

Dash just blinks at him as he stands in front of him, because the whole thing with beauty and the beast was the beast transformed. Could look two different ways. And Danny’s eyes were green. Phantoms eyes were green. Danny raises his eyebrows at Dash sputtering at him, “that’s, it’s not, that ain’t”, Dash blinks, this explained a lot and Phantom was so bold, he took what he wanted, yet here he? -They? However it works- was seemingly waiting for Dash to make some kind of decisions thingy. Muttering, “have my cake and eat it too”.

Danny scrunches his face up and laughs, “I never imagined Dash would genuinely confuse me-”, getting cut off by Dash just saying screw it and kissing him, hard.

Dash pulling back but promptly hugging the weird ethereal creature, “I am so many levels of confused”. Danny just chuckles and pats his back, “yet maybe less in some way. Though you know, you really should ask first”.

Dash jerks and basically holds Danny by the shoulders away from him, Dash wasn’t that dumb of a guy but he was definitely a little stupid.

Danny rolls his eyes but smirks, batting off Dash hands before grabbing his shirt collar and kissing back, “you’re an idiot”.

Dash mutters, “you’re a weirdo”, as Danny backs off. After a bit of silence Dash looks at his feet and sticks his hands in his pockets, “so, uh, now what?”.

Danny shrugs and goes back to leaning on the railing, “I dunno, you work through your confusion I guess”, glancing at Dash, “just know that I am never a confused person anymore”.

Dash looks out across the park, well that was as blunt as anything. Why though? “I’ve literally beat the crap out of you for years. And,”, Dash worries his lip a little, blushing slightly from the unusual coldness on them, a coldness from Danny, “and you could have fought back anytime”.

Danny gives him a knowing look before smirking a little, “so you figured that out too huh?”.

Dash doesn’t give him a chance to say anything more, “as of two seconds or whatever ago. My head is mud”, Dash barely cuts himself off from saying ‘congrats’ or ‘thanks’. Who the Hell says that to some who just kissed them?

Danny screws up his face and it honestly looks like something out of a bad movie where the characters make some great discovery. When he chuckles and shakes his head, “so that’s what you meant by the cake thing”, squinting at Dash a little, “now you know I have to ask this, but knowing isn’t why you did that, is it?”.

Dash doesn’t know whether to nod or shake his head because both would be a lie, “I just figured out my two, um, interests, were smashed into one. Excuse me for not being myself, or whatever, enough and pleased, to have some self-control”.

Danny smiles at that, shoving Dash’s shoulder lightly, “lucky you I guess. Who’d you like more?”.

Dash sputters, Danny was a little much, always was, but that’s part of what he liked about him. The fearlessness, the hard sharpness, and he was cutting Dash the Hell up, “you”, Dash keeps talking as Danny raises his eyebrows, “Danny”, continuing when Danny raises his brows further, “Fenton. The weird lithe kid with sharp edges and the whole pixie thing going on”. Dash looks around some, ignoring the slight smirk on Danny’s face.  

Danny bumping shoulders with him, “oh fancy words Dash. You know I love words with meanings, that I love to give out nicknames. Maybe you should be Teddy Bear”. Dash blushes more than a bit furiously at that which just makes Danny laugh, “oh yes, that will do wonderfully”. Danny sighing after a while of Dash blushing and staring defiantly into the distance, “not that we have to be public about... whatever this is”.

Dash looks back to him at that, nodding slightly, “that is...why I never would have tried normally. Weird dude threw me through a loop”, smiling a little and shoving Danny lightly, “I think I’m glad he did though”.

Danny nods, “if there’s anyone who can understand secrets Dash, especially for safety’s sake, it’s me”, gesturing around, “night seems to suit us. It’s always been something of mine. There’s not really anything wrong with hiding in the night, if you care to join me in that anyway”.

Dash gapes a little, that felt like a stupid question. Why would he question if Dash wanted this to be a ‘thing’. Dash should be the one worried about that, “yes. That is- why would you even ask that?”.

Danny chuckles and gives him a smile that’s got a sadness to it, which Dash is officially having none of and feeling more like his rather brazen self, just kisses him again before he can respond. Dash then saying, “it doesn’t matter”.

Danny chuckles and shakes his head a little, “you sure watch me a lot huh. Like what you see?”, Dash forced down his blush this time while Danny smirks and glances around with that searching look before looking back to him, “care to see how I own my night?”.

Dash just nods a little before going slightly slack-jawed at the near blinding ring of light and Danny suddenly being Phantom and just floating around to be away from the bridge slightly, holding a hand out to Dash, “well? I could rip off superman and say I promise not to drop you or you can stop holding yourself back”.

Dash barely wastes a second before grabbing Danny’s hand and letting him pull him up off the ground. Dash asking the only other question he really has or that’s still bugging him as Danny wraps his arms around him and just...goes up, “so weird guy also said something about king of graves?”.

Danny laughs and shakes his head a little, “that cheeky bastard”, before looking down at Dash’s face, “Ghost King, Dash. Something beyond what any ghost or mortal could be”.

Dash again feels slapped by Deja Vu, he’s never going to be able to look at that damn book the same again, “you know, I was reading a book where...”.

Dash winds up explaining his ‘girly’ book interests as they fly around, oddly unfazed and comfortable with the whole fly thing. While Danny simply exists as the strange ethereal being he is, face glowing brightly against the night sky; leaving Dash feeling like he just caught a star in a wishing bottle and think that maybe poetry might be a good idea.

End.

[nikokova]

Changes: Chapter 3

Hi guys, it’s me. The anxious writer. So, as this security guard at my school keeps yelling, I’ve only got 15 days left before finals. So I might not update on the schedule that I want, though I will try!

Feel free to send me an ask about the story. I'll try to answer as long as it doesnt give away any spoilers!

Prologue Previous

Summary: Logan Summers: One friend, a 4.0, and a huge secret. He wouldn’t have it any other way. Virgil Mathews: barely surviving high school, let alone possibly being moved away from his one and only friend just so he gets to experience what its like to “Have a family”. Patton Pennington: can’t remember having a friend in real life, hopes that his parents taking in a foster kid can change things for him. Roman Royal: Arguably the most popular boy in school, but when he hears that the high schools are merging next year, will he be able to mend his checkered past?

Pairings: Slow-burn Analogical and Royality

Warnings: Foster system, food/drink, anxiety/nervousness, some self-deprecation, puns, injury, mentions of getting beat up, bad writing skills. Let me know if I missed any!

Word count: 2087

Tag list: @zaisling @heir-of-the-founders @rainbow-sides @3-14l59265358979323846 @spazzz32 @sanderstalker @confinesofpersonalknowledge @black-out-wonder @phlying-squirrel @scorching-scotch @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @theotherella @toujours-fidele @hamster-corn @misslilidelaney @alkimara @ccecode @nienna14 @sylveon-lover-crazyfangirl1415 @smileydog101 @am-i-heaven-or-am-i-hell @an-anxious-acquaintance Just ask if you want to be added!

***

To say that Patton felt excited was probably an understatement. He didn’t know a word for how he was feeling. Some sort of mix of happiness and nervousness that bubbled in his stomach making him simultaneously thrilled and nauseous. It was only a week since school had ended, but he had felt really lonely. At least at school, he was surrounded by other people, even if they didn’t care to notice he existed. At home, it was just him and his online friends. Who each had a life and their own in real life friends. He craved friends more than he would even admit to himself. When he imagined going out for ice cream, movies, staying up late at sleepovers. He felt selfish. It wasn't other people's fault that he felt the way he did, or their job to make him feel better.

He sat up and looked around in an attempt to change the subject of his own conversation. His eyes scanned the walls that had been yellow since he was a baby, some spots still had crayon and finger paint that his mom refused to wash off because of “memories”. He had never really thought of wiping them off the wall, especially because it made his mom happy when he asked if she knew the story behind a certain scribble. Usually, she did, sometimes she would make something up to make him laugh.

The other things he had on his walls since childhood was a collection of pun posters. The biggest was taped above his dresser, it had two bananas drawn on it with the quote, “Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.” Seeing the posters always made him laugh, or at least smile on a rough day. His personal favorite was the rainbow deer, bubble letters spelling out “Oh deer! I’m queer!”

His room was one of the only to not be completely reorganized in the past week. HIs parents had wanted the house to be presentable when the boy arrived. Not that it wasn’t already pretty clean, but his parents worried. Part of Patton was glad that his room had been left untouched, another part wondered if a change of scenery would improve his state of mind. He had read somewhere that being exposed to yellow for a long time made people depressed. Or was it blue? Either way, maybe a different color would make him happy? No, that was silly.

His eyes moved to the corner where a mirror stood out like a prep in Hot Topic, being one of the only things not covered in childhood stickers. In it, he could see his brown eyes contrasting with the bright white of his skin. He had tried to tan before, it resulted in a painful sunburn that returned to its natural color in two weeks. What bothered him though, was that he had no freckles. Almost every redhead he knew had freckled, but him. Patton loved adored freckles. He developed a crush on almost all of his male classmates who had them at one point or another.

“Patton!” His mom's voice snapped him from his thoughts,

“Yeah?” He hopped off of his bed and took a deep breath, plastering a smile on his face.

“Can you do me a favor?” She asked, her voice seeming louder as Patton opened his door.

“What do you want me to do?” He questioned, walking down the hall and looking through all of the open doors. He stopped in the guest, well his new brother's room, where his mom was wrapping the vacuum cord. She looked up at him and smiled,

“Do you think you can wipe down the window for me?” The window looked spotless. “I need to vacuum the living room.” for the fourth time this week. But Patton could see the stress and worry behind her smile. He widened his own smile and slowly took the vacuum from his mom.

“Why don’t you go grab some lemonade from the fridge? He might be thirsty when he gets here, and the living room is squeaky clean.” He reassured, her brown eyes softened and she gave him a small smile.

“Alright, I’m overworking myself, I get it.” She giggled and headed to the door, “You want any lemonade?”

“No thanks, I’m good.” Once his mom was gone he deposited the vacuum into the halls closet. He walked back into the room to look for the window cleaner, only to see a car parked in front of the house. He ran up to the window, placing his hands on the glass, before taking them off and scolding himself on the imprint it left. The driver's door opened and a tall woman climbed out. Her grey hair tied in a bun that matched her suit. Heart pounding, Patton raced out of the room and down the stairs. He could see the lady and his parents on the porch as he crossed the dining room.

“Virgil really doesn’t like being touched, especially right now. He got a little beat up this morning, he’s not violent of course. Just other kids usually get jealous when another gets adopted or moved to a home.” The voice seemed extremely cold for someone who works with kids. Patton chose to stand next to Ryan as they all listened to her.

“Is there anything we should do about it?” Ryan asked, running a hand over his black hair.

“Honestly, the best thing is to ignore it. He probably feels self-conscious about it.” The lady shifted, clearly uncomfortable with standing in the heels she had on.

“Where is he?” Patton looked around curiously.

“Oh, he’s in the car. Maybe you can show him around while I talk with your parents.” The lady suggested,

“Only if you’d be ok with that kiddo.” His dad added,

“Yeah, I’m ok with doing that!” Patton smiled,

“Great.” The lady responded monotone before turning on her heels and walking over to the car. She opened the back door, and it seemed like a couple words were exchanged before a tall boy dressed in all black stepped out of the car. He was quite a few inches taller than the lady, and it became obvious he was only a little taller than Patton, who was only around 5’8. He stayed on the stairs even as the lady came up to them on the porch. His hood was pulled over his head, hiding most of his face.

“Alright Virgil, this is Ryan,” Pa waved a hand, “Cathy, and Tom.” His mom and dad waved respectively.

“And I’m Patton!” The boys blue eyes looked him over in a way that made him nervous. He had blown it already, hadn't he? He moved to the door and held it open, “I’m gonna show you around while they talk.”

“O-oh, okay..” The deep voice stuttered, maybe Virgil was just as nervous as he was. The taller one walked around the group of adults before ducking through the door. Patton closed the door behind himself and noticed that Virgil only had one bag hanging off his shoulder.

“Is your other stuff in the car?” He asked, the taller one's eyes widened a little.

“No, this is all I’ve got,” Virgil muttered, almost too quiet for Patton to hear. It didn’t help that he had his hand in front of his mouth as he bit his thumb.

“Oh, well… This is the dining room. If you couldn't tell.” Patton attempted to lighten the mood. Virgil only nodded, eyes flying back and forth behind his dark bangs. Almost as if he were a scanner. So, Patton pointed to his left, towards the room with a large couch and medium-sized TV. “That's the living room, and the kitchen is up here next to the stairs. I’ll show you that and the bathroom first before we go upstairs, if that's ok with you kiddo- wait oops.” Patton's face grew warm. Did he really just say kiddo? Maybe he spends too much time with his dad. But now Virgil must think he’s so lame. I mean only old people use ‘kiddo’ anymore.

It was a light laugh that yanked him out of his thoughts. He looked over to see a smile on the boys split lip, and a laugh escaping from between. The laugh was bubbly and much lighter than Virgil's voice. It still held the same softness, however, and it made Patton smile despite his heart ramming into his chest.

“Sorry, my dad calls me that all the time. It just sort of, slipped out I guess.” Patton allowed himself to join in with his own laugh.

“It’s ok, I don't mind,” Virgil stated once he had managed to stop laughing, a small smile tugged his mouth to one side.

“So you, don’t mind me calling you that?” Patton repeated, trying to be sure.

“I mean I guess not, even though we’re like the same age aren’t we?” Virgil's brows furrowed,

“Well, I’m 16 as of January.” Patton shrugged, sure that the boy would be younger than him.

“I’m 16 too, as of last December.” Virgil moved the bag from one shoulder to the other, some part of him itching to move.

“Oh, so you're the oldest. Well, I guess I’ve always wanted to be a younger brother.” Patton muttered, walking towards the kitchen that was to the right of the stairway. Virgil slowly started to follow,

“Umm, if you could, not say it in public. I guess, then I’m ok with you calling me kiddo.” He mumbled causing a genuine smile spread across Patton's face.

“It’s a deal then,” he turned to glance at Virgil, “kiddo.”

>>>

“So your room is across from the bathroom, mines at the end of the hall, and my parent's room is next to the bathroom, across from the closet where our cleaning stuff is,” Patton explained as they walked up the stairs. He was extremely glad that the other teen seemed to be warming up to him quickly. Once they reached the top of the stairs he quickly struck a pose to present the room. Virgil rolled his eyes at this but walked into the room. It had light grey walls and a large window across from the door. Virgil set his bag on the bed and approached the window. Out of it, you could see the roof of the porch, his hands reached up and unlocked the window before pulling it open.

“What are you doing?” Patton asked, walking over to stand next to Virgil.

“Shh, listen.” So he did, and he could hear the adults talking.

“Is there any other things you think we should be aware of?” It was his Pa asking, he was always asking questions and trying to make sure everything was planned out fully.

“Well, usually every day after school Virgil would spend time at the library with this boy. We aren’t sure if they were dating or not, but the boy is the only person Virgil really ever hung out with. He seemed to be really anxious about moving away from the boy.” It was the lady's voice that said this. Was Virgil gay? Virgils face was as red as a tomato and he quickly moved to slam the window shut, barely giving Patton enough time to get himself back into the room.

“So are you really gay?” Patton asked, his stomach buzzed with excitement.

“So what if I am? It’s not like there's anything wrong with that.” Virgil hissed. Patton's waved his hand frantically, trying to figure out how to explain that he didn’t mean it in a bad way.

“Of course there's nothing wrong with it! I’m gay too, I was just excited. To have someone like me, for once…” He mumbled, his voice getting softer at the end. Virgil's defensive look melted and he frowned,

“I, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have lashed at you like that.” he apologized, Patton pulled on a wide smile.

“It's ok. I should've said it a different way.” Patton shook his head, “so, do you have a crush on that guy?”

“I-it’s none of your business,” Virgil whined,

“Awwww, what's he like?”

“I mean, I guess… Well, he’s short.” A smirk spread across Virgil's lips. “He’s also the smartest person you’ll ever meet. He always wears jeans and a polo with a tie, like a nerd. But its cute-” he cut himself off realizing what he was saying. Before he could spout out apologies Patton interrupted him.

“He sounds great! I can’t wait to meet him kiddo!”

***

Hey so, in case anyone is confused.

Tom= Pattons biological father

Cathy= Pattons biological mother

Ryan= Pattons Pa, aka his not biological dad

Virgil and Pat will be sort of the main focus for the next couple chapters since thats where most of the story is developing. Though there will be updates on the other two.

Next

[chloe-elizabeth-price]

1-40 (take that)

A lot of questions as per usual, thanks for always being curious and cute @annoyinglyuniquebread!

I’ll put these under a cut as well as trigger warn you guys for mentions of mental illness, unhealthy coping mechanisms and abuse. 

Anyone who wants to, feel free to read what basically feels like my life story lol 

Here we goooo

1: Talk aboutthe first time you watched your favorite movie.

This question as well as numbers  11, 24, 28 and 38 where answered here and here

2: Talk aboutyour first kiss.

I was 7 and kissed a boy in my class behind the bushes at recess in a display of young  compulsory heterosexuality. He dumped me at a classmate’s birthday party a week later and I never looked at boys again lol

3: Talk aboutthe person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

This girl I met in my freshman year of college and fell hard and fast for. She clearly didn’t feel the same for me and very unceremoniously dumped me without much of an explanation, it sucked!  

4: Talk aboutthe thing you regret most so far.

That I didn’t break contact with my biological father much earlier than I did, his presence in my life made me feel like shit for way longer than I deserved and now that he’s out of my life I feel a lot better!

5: Talk aboutthe best birthday you’ve had.

l’m not actually much of a fan of birthdays and much prefer Christmas, never really liked the idea of growing up…But I guess my tenth birthday was cool. It was nice  to turn a two digit number for the first time and the pajama party I had that year was pretty sweet!

6: Talk aboutthe worst birthday you’ve had.

Well my fourth birthday sucked, it was my first birthday after my parents got divorced and I was worried my dad wouldn’t show up for the party and well…He didn’t……………….Yeah that sucked!

7: Talk aboutyour biggest insecurity.

I have many, many insecurities of different natures and can honestly not really narrow it down to one big one.

8: Talk aboutthe thing you are most proud of.

I’m proud of unapologetically being who I am despite breaking norms and societal expectations in more ways than one; as well as for standing up for others like me!

9: Talk aboutlittle things on your body that you like the most.

I like my eyes, they’re a nice shade of blue

10: Talk aboutthe biggest fight you’ve ever had.

Physical? Because I’ve never really been in a physical fight and I can’t really think of a huge verbal one either right now. Of course I’ve gotten into some arguments with my parents and stuff growing up, nothing major that I can remember though.

12: Talk aboutthe worst dream you’ve ever had.

 I rarely remember my dreams, but since I started taking sleeping pills I’ve had some really vivid and scary ones, nothing I feel like reliving by sharing though.

13: Talk aboutthe first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Yeah, nope, not happening, too demi and reserved to share that one with the internet, sorry!

14: Talk abouta vacation.

The best vacation I’ve ever been on was the one I got from my parents as a graduation gift. They accompanied me to Amsterdam (which is a beautiful, beautiful city) to see Taylor Swift live on the 1989 World Tour! It was one of the best trips/concerts of my life and I really look forward to seeing Tay again in 180 days! 

15: Talk aboutthe time you were most content in life.

Probably in my last year of middle school, when I was like 15. It was the last year before I developed mental illness and fell into this dark, dark hole…Wow, that sounds depressing af! Sorry for being such a bummer!

16: Talk aboutthe best party you’ve ever been to.

I don’t really do parties, I prefer to hang out with my friends casually and just play video games and cook/have dinner together or whatever. We’ve had many awesome hangouts like these over the years and I can’t really pick a specific one as the best one!

17: Talk aboutsomeone you want to be friends with.

I’d love to be friends with Carrie Fisher, we’d get along famously and she seems like the kind of person you could just talk to you know? Carrie, if you can hear me up in heaven, please consider being my friend and save me a cloud to sit on next to you, cool?

18: Talk aboutsomething that happened in elementary school.

I got dumped at that birthday party, lol…No but really I don’t remember much of elementary school, except that one time a bitch stole my tamagotchi, that wasn’t cool Sally, so not cool!

19: Talk aboutsomething that happened in middle school.

My teacher surprised me by sneaking me into another school’s library so that I could join this class of strangers in meeting one of my favorite authors at the time and get my books signed as well as give her a book i’d written and exchange email addresses with her. We still emailed occasionally years later, it was dope!!

20: Talk aboutsomething that happened in high school.

I came out of the closet, that was pretty damn dope too!

21: Talk abouta time you had to turn someone down.

During my freshman year of college (wow, a lot sure did happen that year, huh?) this guy in my class basically started stalking me and obsess over me despite me repeatedly telling him I’m gay and wasn’t interested. It got pretty badly out of hand and it ended with the school suspending him after me having complained to the student council after he failed to recognize my rejections for what they were, FUCKING REJECTIONS!!! 

22: Talk aboutyour worst fear.

i’m TERRIFIED of failure in any and all forms! Don’t wanna talk about it though, it’ll probably trigger unnecessary anxiety…

23: Talk abouta time someone turned you down.

I’m too shy to ask people out so I have never really been turned down in that sense, have been dumped tho, that’s………..unfun!

25: Talk aboutan ex-best friend.

During elementary and middle school I was best friends with this guy i’d known since kindergarten, we drifted apart since we went to different high schools and haven’t really hung out since sophomore year which is too bad really because we were like siblings at one point and I’d like to have that back someday.

26: Talk aboutthings you do when you’re sick.

I try to drink a lot of tea and stay as comfortable as possible while watching something that makes me happy and distracts me from feeling badly. Like Buffy, Brooklyn 99 or F.r.i.e.n.d.s

27: Talk aboutyour favorite part of someone else’s body.

My dog’s tail is fluffy and adorable just like the rest of her! :)

29: Talk aboutwhat turns you on.

I feel like I’ve talked about this before, but open-minded people who aren’t afraid of having frank, honest conversations in which the express their opinions. Girls are beautiful and physically most parts of girls’ bodies honestly turn me on buuuut again, too awkward for this discussion on the net.

30: Talk aboutwhat turns you off.

Close-minded and bigoted people disgust me!

31: Talk aboutwhat you think death is like.

I’m not really sure, but a quote from John Green’s Looking For Alaska comes to mind: “Thomas Edison’s last words were “It’s very beautiful over there”. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.”

32: Talk abouta place you remember from your childhood.

When I was younger my grandparents lived in this big, yellow house in the countryside and I remember it as this bright, warm and very positive place! It was surrounded by  a large, dark forest that my grandma used to call The Forest of Fairy Tales” and in their huge garden they had an abundance of sweet berries and I had a legit fort my grandpa had built for me at the edge of the forest. I really miss that place, almost as much as I miss my grandma!

33: Talk aboutwhat you do when you are sad.

Pretty much the same thing I do when I’m sick, I try to drink gallons of tea, stay comfy and watch something lighthearted and uplifting. Listening to Taylor Swift also helps me a lot if I feel down. The sound of her voice makes me feel at home and reminds me that things are gonna be okay, ya feel?

34: Talk aboutthe worst physical pain you’ve endured.

As a kid with cerebral palsy I pretty much grew up in hospitals and was subject to a lot of pretty painful stuff before I even turned ten, as a result my pain threshold is very high. Despite this I can’t really say breaking my wrist in a biking accident at about nine didn’t suck.

35: Talk aboutthings you wish you could stop doing.

I wish I could stop clinging to some of the more unhealthy coping mechanisms I have when it comes to my mental illness…Like I wish I’d stop starving myself and make myself sleep deprived on purpose and stuff…That’s not really healthy and I wish I didn’t cling to these things and instead could find healthier ways to deal with bad mental health situations. I’m working on this though!

36: Talk aboutyour guilty pleasures.

I don’t believe in guilt associated with interests of any kind. If I like something I like it, plain and simple!

37: Talk aboutsomeone you thought you were in love with.

This boy that sat next to me in my eighth grade math class, he was super nice and we were friends. Secretly though I was like OBSESSED with him, it was actually kinda cute. Sadly for 14 year old me I was too shy to ask him out though, which was just as well since it was clearly compulsory again and I was really crushing super hard on the cool punk girl in my social studies class who I just thought i really, really, REALLY wanted to be friends with at the time…I was too shy to talk to her too though sooo

39: Talk aboutthings you wish you’d known earlier.

That it’s okay to be both disabled and queer, the belief that you couldn’t caused me to stay in the closet (even to myself) for far longer than I needed to. you’re not “too much” just because you happen to be part of several minority groups, never forget that, kids!

40: Talk aboutthe end of something in your life.

When I was 13 I finally broke contact with my biological father and that was the end of a cycle of mental and psychological abuse. It was one of the best decision I’ve ever made and the most cathartic ending to any period  in my life so far. 

Thanks for all those questions, Bellz and sorry it took some time for me to answer them, I’ve had a busy week!