#i do genuinely love him with my entire heart and it sucks that jay's grief gets precedent over everyone else's here

[that-was-anticlimactic]

COREY. I FINALLY BINGED THE REST OF NINJAGO AND. AHSDFGASJDGHFJHAFSJGLHNASDFJG NYAS SACRIFICE!!!! SHAKING CRYING SOBBING THAT SCENE WHERE SHE WAS LEAVING JAY AND SHE MOUTHED I LOVE YOU THAT IS PEAK CINEMA!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE THE SCENE WHERE JAY WAS RAGE-FIGHTING THAT CALAMARI BITCH HOWEVER. FOLDS HAND BEHIND BACK AS A KNOWN KAI STAN I JUST THINK THAT KAI DESERVED A RAGE SCENE TOO!!!!! LIKE TO ASSUME THAT WHEN THE PERSON THAT HE LITERALLY SPENT THE LONGEST PROTECTING, SOMEONE WHO HE BASICALLY RAISED, HIS OWN BLOOD SACRIFICED HERSELF HE WOULDNT BREAK??!! THAT HE WOULDNT DENY IT, TIME FREEZING AROUND HIM, ONLY TO BE REALLY AWAKENED WHEN KALMAAR DISSIPATES HER HUMAN LIKE FORM? TO BE FILLED WITH A BONE DEEP RAGE AND DISREGARD ALL LOGIC AND SAFETY TO FIGHT KALMAAR ALONGSIDE JAY, NOT AS A TEAM OR A DUO, BUT AS A DEVASTATED BROTHER ALONGSIDE A DEVASTATED LOVER, BECAUSE KAIS LITTLE SISTER IS GONE. HE IS THE PROTECTOR AND YET HE STILL MANAGED TO FAIL AT PROTECTING THE PERSON CLOSEST TO HIM, AND YOURE TELLING ME THIS WOULDNT ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATE HIM???? IM SORRY BUT THIS PLOTLINE DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE AT ALL. ESPECIALLY HOW JAY GETS TO MOURN AND WE SEE ALL OF THE NINJA EXCEPT KAI FIGURE OUT COPING MECHANISMS!! WHERE IS KAIS MOURNING??? WHERE IS HIS SORROW?? WHERE IS THE COLD ANGER THAT HE FEEDS AND FUELS BECAUSE ITS MUCH EASIER THAN GRIEF? WE SEE THAT JAY DOESNT HAVE HIS BAD PUNS, JOKES AND CONSTANT COMPLAINING AFTER NYA MERGES WITH THE OCEAN BUT WHAT ABOUT KAI?? WHY DONT WE GET TO SEE HIM SUPRESSING HIS IMPULSIVE FIERY EASY-GOING SIDE BECAUSE MAYBE, JUST MAYBE IF HE HAD SOME SORT OF PLAN GOING INTO THIS SHE WOULDNT HAVE TO GO THAT FAR? HE IS THE PROTECTOR AND THE REALIZATION THAT HE FAILED IS HEAVIER ON HIS SHOULDERS THAN ON LLOYDS. BUT THEN WHEN HES FIGHTING JAY HE FINALLY LOSES IT BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN SO STRONG ALL THIS TIME JUST LIKE NYA WOULD WANT HIM TO BE, AND HE CANT STAND TO SEE HIS OWN WEAKNESS AND GRIEF IN JAYS EYES! I WANT HIM TO SNAP IN SEARING HOT RAGE AND TO FINALLY LET HIS FEELINGS TO THE SURFACE! MAYBE TO YELL AT JAY AND TELL HIM THAT YEAH LIFE IS GREY NOW! YEAH GETTING OUT OF THE BED IN THE MORNING IS BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE! YEAH YOU WISH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN YOU AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! BUT THATS FINE EVERYONE FEELS LIKE THAT AND YOU JUST HAVE TO STAY STRONG AND PUSH IT DOWN BECAUSE NYA WOULD WANT IT! I WANT JAYS FACE TO SLOWLY MELT FROM ANGER TO REALIZATION, PITY AND UNDERSTANDING. EVERYONE WOULD BE LOOKING SADLY AT KAI AND HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHY BECAUSE HE IS RIGHT! JAY FINALLY SPEAKS AND HE SAYS SMTH LIKE: YOU KNOW ITS OKAY TO FEEL DOWN? EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BE SMALL SOMETIMES, AND IT DOESNT MAKE YOU A WEAK PERSON IF YOU CRY OR MOURN OR DEPEND ON SOMEONE ELSE? KAI FEELS SOMETHING WET ON HIS CHEEKS AND FUCK, HES BEEN CRYING THIS WHOLE TIME! HE TRIES TO TELL HIMSELF THAT JAY IS WRONG BECAUSE KAIS GRIEF IS SO BIG HE MIGHT LOSE HIMSELF IN IT IF HE LETS IT IN, BUT SOMEWHERE A TINY LITTLE VOICE IN HIS HEAD IS TELLING HIM THAT JAY IS NOT WRONG AND DEEP DOWN KAI KNOWS THAT THE LITTLE VOICE IS RIGHT! AND LLOYD WOULD STEP UP TO HIM AND LOOK KAI IN THE EYES AND SAY: NYA WOULD WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND SO DO WE. YOURE ONE OF THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IVE EVER MET AND IT WOULD NEVER MAKE YOU A WEAKER PERSON TO DO SO. AND THEN LLOYD WOULD HUG HIM. AT FIRST KAI WOULD BE STIFF AND FROZEN IN SURPRISE BUT AFTER A FEW SECONDS HE WOULD SLOWLY MELT INTO THE HUG AND CLING ONTO LLOYD, AND THEN ALL THE NINJA WOULD JOIN IN! THEYD HUG UNTIL ZANE WOULD SQUEEZE THEM ALL A BIT TOO HARD, AND KAI WOULD TELL HIM TO LOOSEN UP!!! I WANNA SEE KAI UNLEARNING HIS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOURS AND I WANNA SEE HIM STILL BE THE PROTECTOR, BUT ALSO LET HIMSELF BE PROTECTED WHEN NEEDED! AND FINALLY, I WANT HIM TO TEAR UP SLIGHTLY WHEN THEY GET NYA BACK AND SAY SMTH LIKE: "WELCOME BACK, SIS" WITH THE WARMEST SMILE ON HIS FACE. AND LIKE, I AM FULLY AWARE THIS COULD NEVER FULLY BE CANON BUT I RLLY THINK HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN MORE ATTENTION! (1/2)

oKAY NO BUT YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT like. listen. i love jaya, i really do (sometimes), but nya's relationship with her brother is just as important as her relationship with jay, and unfortunately, one of the biggest weaknesses in ninjago is that the writers like to forget that 😐

okay but also "NYA WOULD WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND SO DO WE. YOURE ONE OF THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IVE EVER MET AND IT WOULD NEVER MAKE YOU A WEAKER PERSON TO DO SO" LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT KAI NEEDS TO HEAR LIKE THIS EXACTLY AND IT COMING FROM LLOYD WHO HE SEES AS A YOUNG BROTHER WOULD MAKE IT EVEN MORE EMOTIONAL AND IMPACTFUL FOR HIM AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

also. i feel like one of the reasons why jay gets to mourn and has the focus on him rather than kai is because jay is prolly one of the biggest fan favorites and fan service so jay gets special attention--

no but literally all of this. i couldn't have said it better myself. this exactly. kai deserves better !!! let him grieve!!!

[matchacloudz]

Humilated Heartbreak

Just something I wrote while feeling a little down (trigger warning I guess? Nothing graphic just mentions of depression) Also my favourite video game and character ><

Masterlist

Word count: 1.5k 

Its common knowledge that when a heart breaks, it can feel like the worst thing in the world. Your mind twists and manipulates things, making you feel even worse – if that could be possible. A majority of humans experience a heartbreak while in school, whether it be from a significant other, disconnecting from a friend, or the death of a loved one.

All things that can make the human heart break.

What they aren’t told, is how to deal with it. There are countless articles online on the grieving process, how to get over an ex, or how to get revenge – if you’re petty enough. Its all clickbait, its all word of mouth from others.

Everybody has a different grieving process. Some more severe than others, some longer than others. This isn’t my first heartbreak; my life story can tell you that. But one thing to note is; it doesn’t get any easier than the first time.

The first time I ever felt my heartbreak was when my older sister was killed. She was at her grade 12 graduation, having the time of her life, just starting the newest chapter of her life. She was responsible, she was the one to organize the ride home afterword. Her death may have been an accident, but it was the hands of a drunk driver. A drunk driver who was at the same graduation she was.

The second time my heart broke was when my parents separated. The grief over losing their first born was weighing heavy on their shoulders. They couldn’t cope together, it was tearing them apart, and ultimately, they decided to divorce. My father fell into a deep depression, barely functioning, hardly going to work, staying up all night. So, my mother won primary custody of me. She wasn’t doing much better however, she threw herself into her work, I barely saw her as is, leaving me to my own devices.

This is the third time I can count that my heart has broke. I didn’t know how to cope with my sisters death. I have had grandparents pass away due to complications or old age, but I’ve never had someone so close to me be gone. It was weird, I didn’t see her everyday. I couldn’t say I loved her everyday, it was hard. My entire routine was thrown off, my life was shaken up. I started going out more, hanging out later with my friends, anything to keep my mind busy and off of the loss of my older sister. That’s when I met Jai.

He seemed to be my night in shining armor. He took me under his wing, he would check up on me, made sure I was doing my homework, making sure I wasn’t slipping. I thought things would be better with him. I felt myself growing out of the shell I had built. He was everything I could have ever wanted, he was there for me, he never asked for anything in return; he seemed genuinely kind.

Until he didn’t.

I had learned from social media that he had been cheating on me. The girl hadn’t made her account private and I had been tagged in the comments. After being happy for what felt like so long, it all crumbled. The boy I thought I knew, was someone completely different.

This is when I started skipping school. I was humiliated, Jai had completely played me, making me look like an idiot. I didn’t know how long his second relationship was going on for, but it was enough for me to grow back into the shy quiet girl I used to be. The first week at school after our ‘scandal’ I was getting sympathetic looks, everyone was pitying me. It was slightly nice to know they thought he was the jerk, but I couldn’t take it. It wasn’t prominent, but it was enough attention for me to want to curl back into my skin.

I couldn’t go to school knowing he was there, the wounds too fresh to face them head on, the sympathy I was receiving was too much for me to be comfortable. I attended less and less, and with mom working all the time, nobody knew.

Or at least I thought.

It was probably day 3 this week of not bothering to show up at all when the doorbell rang at 11am. I tried ignoring it, figuring it was a door to door salesman or something like that, but the rings became more persistent, I just couldn’t find the energy to go see who it was.

“Y/N! I know you’re in there!”

The voice scared me, not just because I knew exactly who it was, but because of how close they were. The door was locked, but that’s not where it came from. He was under my window. I debated going over and closing it, but that would be the confirmation he needed that I was indeed home.

“Y/N/N, you know I’m not afraid to climb in the window” he said. But again, I just started at the open window. A few seconds pass, until I see his boot on the window ledge, and all of a sudden one of my best friends was in my bedroom. He looked around for a second until his eyes fell on my figure in the bed.

“Hi?” He said quietly, taking note of the solemn look on my face. I just stared back at him, a little irritated that he ‘broke’ into my room, and still exhausted from the lack of sleep I got last night. “Y/N, you know me, c’mon I’m not leaving until you say something.” He said taking a seat next to me on the bed. “Sean” I said, turning away from him.

The Diaz boy sighed and laid next to me. “You gotta say more than that Y/N/N” he said using my nickname again. But once again, I was silent. “Alright fine, I’ll speak. I know why you’re skipping, I get it ok? But you can’t do this to yourself. This isn’t my best friend, I understand what happened and trust me it sucks, but everyone thinks he’s an asshole, that girl? She dumped him, and basically no one is talking to him at school” Sean explained.

I sighed and turned over to him, taking his hand in mine and holding it close to my chest. “I’m humiliated Sean. I mean, he cheated on me for who knows how long. I mean cool, he ruined his reputation, but how is that supposed to make me feel better?” I said. “He broke my heart, he played me like a fool, and I just went along with it” I whispered. “Okay shut up, the only reason you went along with it is because you didn’t know. You were the one being wronged, and its happened before and it’ll happen again. Some people are just so shitty in the world, you can’t let shit like this get you down. You didn’t do that when your sister died, so why are you doing it when a dickhead cheats on you.”

Sean held truth in his words, I knew he was completely right and was telling me what I needed to hear, but right now I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to let the world swallow me up and start over in a new town.

“Are you not talking because you know I’m right?” He asked leaning his head on mine. “I will hit you” I say, pulling his hand closer to me. Sean just chuckled at my answer, feeling satisfied I was actually talking.

We just laid there semi-cuddling as he let me wallow in my own embarrassment. “Where’s Lyla?” I asked noting she wasn’t with him. “If her mom knew she was skipping she would be grounded for the rest of high school” Sean answered. I chuckled with him, acknowledging once again he was right. “I know it sucks Y/N/N, but are you up to going to school with me?” I let out a loud breath, “not today.” I answered him. “I mean, it’s already 1:30, I don’t think theres a point in going anymore. But tomorrow, Lyla and I will come and pick you up, and we’ll get on the bus and go to school okay? We’ll protect you from everyone” he teased.

This time, I finally hit him. “Hey! What the hell?” “You make me sound like a fucking damsel in distress! I can take care of myself Diaz!” I tell him.

-

The next day, my friends kept their promise. At 8am sharp, they came to my house, we waited for the bus, and I shared the seat with Sean. I could feel people looking at me, either shocked that I actually went to school that day, or they were still pitying me. What ever the case, Sean would squeeze my hand, and Lyla would confront whoever dared glance my way for a second too long.

They don’t tell you how to handle heartbreak, its something you need to heal from on your own. People tend to fill the void with whatever they find best, and in my case, all I needed was my two best friends.  

[eviesmyspiritanimal]

Girls’ Trip Part 1

Summary: Evie, Mal, Uma, Audrey, and Jane go on a road trip to the beach for a three-day weekend. Evie's driving and has road rage, Uma constantly pesters Audrey, Mal thinks it's all kind of funny, and Jane's wide-eyed and lovably clueless as usual. Friendship feels plus Jaudrey, Huma, Jarlos, Bal, as well as Hades and Mal father/daughter feels.

  “Jay, do you have my pink suitcase?” Audrey questioned as she walked out to the car with her purse in her hand and a pair of hot pink sunglasses on her face.

  Jay ambled along behind her, significantly slowed down by the gigantic amount of luggage that he was carrying.

  It was finally the day. Evie, Mal, Uma, Audrey, and Jane were all leaving on a girl’s trip to the beach at Belle’s Harbor. Ben had a beach house there and the girls- mostly Evie- had decided that they needed some time to bond and relax together.

  They were going to be staying for the three-day weekend and absolutely everyone that was not going on the trip was already missing them and dying for them to come back, despite the fact that they hadn’t even left yet.

  “Well, all of your suitcases are pink. Which one are you addressing right now?” Jay ground out as he sluggishly approached the trunk of Evie’s blue Jeep Renegade.

  “The heart-shaped one,” Audrey clarified, and the former thief rolled his eyes at her as he tried to spot the one that she was after in his huge pile.

  “Oh, here it is,” Audrey told him, gesturing at a case on the very bottom of his armful. Jay finally sat it all down in the back of Evie’s Jeep, breathing heavily as he looked over at Audrey.

  “Why in the world do you need all of this jun-” Jay quickly paused as Audrey spun back around to face him, as if she were just challenging him to finish that sentence, “stuff? Aren’t you just supposed to pack stuff like toothbrushes and clothes?”

  “It’s the essentials, Jay. Everything in this car is exactly what I need to survive without the conveniences of my home,” Audrey explained to him. Jay just raised an eyebrow skeptically, but he gave in, shutting the trunk firmly as he turned to face the brunette.

  “Let me guess… There’s five different outfits for each day including shoes and accessories,” he wagered, and Audrey grinned at him as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

  “You know me so well,” she replied as she started to turn to go back around the car. Jay caught her around the waist and pulled her back against his chest.

  “I think not! You aren’t getting away without a real kiss, Princess,” Jay asked her, tickling her sides. She giggled, placing her hands on his as she tilted her head around to face him. Audrey smiled softly and brought him into a slow, deep kiss.

  Before it could go on too much longer, however, they were rudely drawn out of their romantic haze.

  “Don’t make out behind my car. Charlene doesn’t like that,” a voice suddenly interrupted them, and Jay pulled away with frustration to look at Evie who had just materialized along with Mal and the rest of the group. Audrey just smiled at him and gave him one last kiss.

  “Did you name your car?!” Audrey cried out, and Evie just shrugged with a sheepish smile.

  Jay put his hand on her cheek and moved her chin so that she was facing him again.

  “I’m going to miss you,” he whispered under his breath as everyone started into their goodbyes. Audrey moved closer to touch her nose against his, looking into his eyes lovingly.

  “I’m going to miss you, too. But it’s just the weekend.”

  “A three-day weekend,” Jay quickly interjected, and Audrey huffed a bit in laughter.

  “Regardless, it shouldn’t be that long for my big, bad thief to survive by himself,” Audrey told him, pulling away and grinning as she hurried around the Jeep with Jay in hot pursuit.

  Evie rolled her eyes at the two, smiling at their sweetness, and she hugged Carlos tightly.

  “Make sure Jay doesn’t go pining after her the whole weekend,” Evie joked, and Carlos chuckled.

  “I’ll try. No promises, though,” Carlos told her when he moved back to embrace Jane.

  Mal walked over, ruffling Carlos hair. She swiftly brought him into a side-hug when he finally broke away from Jane.

  “Okay, Lil’ C, don’t miss me and E too much. After all, we’re leaving, too,” Mal teased with a grin. Carlos smiled widely and he picked Mal up, spinning her around and she laughed.

  “Put me down, you heathen!” Mal half-heartedly scolded and he sat her back on the ground after a moment. Mal smiled as she turned to go pry Jay away from Audrey where they were a little preoccupied behind one of the back doors of the car.

  Evie followed Mal quickly so she could wish Jay a goodbye as well.

  “Give Dude some extra scratches from me, okay?” Jane awkwardly told Carlos once the other two girls had left. He turned to face her with a wide smile.

  “Sure thing! But it won’t be as good as you doing it, though,” Carlos heartfeltly admitted, and Jane shyly eyed him in response with a pleased look on her face.

  “You two are making me gag,” Uma interrupted. Carlos looked over at the dark-skinned girl with an unimpressed expression. “Good grief, y’all are acting like it’s three weeks. It’s three days! Four because we’re leaving today, but you know what I mean,” Uma complained but left the two of them together in peace.

  “They’re a bunch o’ wimps, I’d say,” Harry piped up as she sidled up to him. Uma offered him a smirk, and he responded with a more genuine look in his eyes as he watched her. “But I suppose I’m a hypocrite. It’ll be hard without me cap’n for next few days. Who’s goin’ to yell orders at me now?” Harry joked as he softly smiled at Uma. The pirate just rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder before leaning her head against his shoulder.

  “Get your keisters into this car right now! I’m about to leave!” Evie called out with a laugh as she honked the horn like a maniac.

  Uma shook her head in fond exasperation and turned to Harry. She tugged his hook to bring him into a hug. He placed his hand on the back of her head as he drew her closer, pressing his cheek against the side of it in a tender gesture.

  “You take care of Gil, okay? He’s an idiot,” Uma murmured with a slight grin. Harry nodded in response as they glanced over at the son of Gaston that was currently amusing himself with a newfound Chinese finger trap. “I don’t know how you’re going to live without me for even the short time I’m gone,” Uma told him quietly.

  “Ooh! Uma, have you tried this? It really traps your fingers! I don’t know why it traps them like a Chinese, though. How do Chinese get trapped?” Gil questioned as he completely distracted himself from his earlier question. Uma rolled her eyes, sharing one long last glance with Harry before she moved over to Gil and clapped him on the shoulder.

  “You behave, ‘kay?” Uma checked and Gil tried to pull his fingers out of the trap to give her a thumbs up, but he couldn’t draw them from the device’s hold. Uma shook her head and she headed for the car. She paused just before she got in, looking over at the boy. “And, Gil? It’s called a Chinese finger trap because it comes from China.”

  “Oh! That makes sense!” Uma huffed exasperatedly in response but offered him a grin as she got in the car, waving at the both of them.

  Mal watched as Uma slid in beside Audrey. She turned back to her husband with a smile.

  “Are you sure you can handle everything while I’m gone?” Mal checked, straightening the lapels of his jacket. Ben smiled at her and dipped down to lovingly kiss her forehead.

  “I’ll be fine. You go have fun with the girls,” Ben told her softly, and she felt her heart flutter pleasantly before she forced herself to be serious.

  “If you need help, Benjamin Florian, you ask your parents. And don’t overwork yourself. You hear me?” Mal instructed firmly. Ben gave her a mock salute.

  “Yes, ma’am.” Mal rolled her eyes, and quickly kissed him before starting over to the car. She knew Evie was growing more and more impatient to get going. After all, the entire trip had been her idea.

  “You stop right there, Princess,” a voice suddenly sounded off, and Mal turned to face the sound with a pleased curl of her lips.

  It was her father and he raised an eyebrow.

  “You didn’t seriously think I was going to let you leave without saying goodbye?” Hades asked and he opened his arms as Mal rushed into them gladly.

  “These other parents might be good with their kids, but I don’t see any of them saying bye,” Hades commented smartly as he squeezed her gently in his embrace.

  Mal leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

  “You are the best dad,” Mal expressed with a light tone. Hades held her arms with his hands as he surveyed her from his towering position.

  “Y’know, I am totally not worried about you in the least. It’s just three days, and there is absolutely nothing that you five could get into within that short amount of time,” Hades explained to her with a fond look in his eyes.

  “I just hope Evie doesn’t get road rage. She’s worse than me, you know. And this is a really long drive,” Mal told him. All forms of content dissipated from his face as he moved away a bit to yell at Evie.

  “Keep a cool head!” he warned. Evie easily agreed, promising to at least try to.

  “Yeah. That’s ironic coming from the guy that has a head that literally catches on fire,” Mal caught Uma’s sarcastic quip from the back of the Jeep.

  The faerie largely ignored the pirate’s remark and she gave her dad one last hug before turning to go.

  “I love you!” Ben told her as she left.

  “Love you more!” Mal called back in response as she hopped in and shut her car door, beaming widely at him through the window.

  “I love you the most,” Hades put in his opinion threateningly as he glared at Ben before returning his gaze to Mal with an affectionate smile.

  Evie started up the car and everyone rolled down their windows as they waved and shouted at everyone. Jane laughed as Carlos chased after them, grabbing her hand as they started out of Evie’s driveway. After a moment, he let go, and hopped up and down behind them while waving them away.

  Evie sucked in a deep breath and shook her head contentedly. It was going to be a great trip.

Note: There’s like ten more parts to go, so hang in there with me. :) I’ll be releasing probably one or two a day.