#i do also really enjoy this because it seems like everyone has their own ruby!!

[deadgirlsam]

one of my favorite things about ruby is that you can neither disprove nor prove just about everything she said- we know she was manipulating sam, but was she lying about all of it? was any of it half-truths, full truths, neither, both? it's so interesting to speculate on and gives you so many different interpretations of her depending on how you decide to see her words ^_^

[aihoshiino]

chapter 134 thoughts!

My immediate first thought going into this chapter and seeing how it picks up from last week's cliffhanger is that while I thought last week that this conflict served as an excellent character beat for both Ruby and Kana, I feel less positively about it as the catalyst for long term RubyKana conflict. Maybe that's hypocritical because I like the similar AquKana conflict back during the LoveNow aftermath and this is basically just a roided up version of that but… IDK, I guess it helped that the AquKana conflict is very clearly a romcom style miscommunication and it ends up leading to one of my all time favourite and funniest character moments for Aqua, this… isn't that. In general I really hate the old tried conflict trope of "Character A betrays or is otherwise cruel to Character B For Their Own Good and refuses to communicate about it" so this was kind of irritating to see…

It also really doesn't help that Kana is going SO above and beyond in being cruel to Ruby here in comparison to the AquKana conflict where her short-sighted lashing out was being mostly played for laughs but still came back to bite her. There's just something a bit excessive in how deliberately and pointedly cold and mean to Ruby Kana is shown being here and I guess it just feels a bit icky to me though I obviously can't make a proper call on all this til we see its conclusion.

I also have to question like… why is everyone around them just letting this happen lol. Memcho not intervening I can at least make sense of because she's been shown to be feeling off her game and a bit out of her element so I could see all that combining to make her uncertain of what to do but… uh, is Miyako not paying any attention? Admittedly the timeframe here is a little vague so we don't know exactly how long this has been going on but it's been happening at least long enough for Ruby to be going to school and fretting about it to her friends. So the idea of Miyako either being unaware of this or not intervening in this is really baffling to me??? Especially off the back of chapters 124 and 126 making a point of how badly Miyako wants to reach out to Aqua and Ruby and support them as their mother - the only way I can justify this to myself is if Miyako somehow doesn't know this was going on but how would she not know??? Like, we see Gotanda and his assistants fretting over Ruby crying after her scenes! If they're well aware something is wrong, why not Miyako? She's Aqua and Ruby's manager! This is a Strawberry Productions produced movie! We've seen her on set before! Is she just… not here now that it would be inconvenient for the plot?

(The answer to that is 'yes')

Uh all that up there does make it sound like I disliked either this or last chapter but I actually really loved them both for reasons we'll get into soon! I think they're both strong individual chapters and as points in RubyKana's shared arc I actually do really like this conflict, what it says about them both and where it seems to be taking them. There are just a lot of small, piled up contrivances pushing this conflict along and I think they annoyed me so much BECAUSE I otherwise think this is some really tasty character work for both girls and I'm otherwise enjoying it.

My bitching aside, I do really like the talk that follows this. I've been revisiting a lot of the earlier material recently via friends re-reading or giving the series a try for the first time so I've been back in that space of Ruby being particularly starstruck with Frill. It's sweet to see their present day dynamic where Ruby is fully comfortable with Frill just as her friend and trusts her enough to share her worries with her.

aw hey minami we thought you were dead

This entire scene really got my brain gears whirring and I can't help but speculate a little about its placement. At first I was just nodding along, thinking this was just Industry Exposition as usual but… isn't this odd? We don't see how Ruby phrases this question so maybe she was vague but from an authorial standpoint, why is Akasaka having Frill talk about love instead of dislike or hostility, which is what is actually going on between Ruby and Kana? Reading over that scene again and again, I can't help but wonder… is this supposed to be taken as some commentary on what's going on between Ruby and Aqua? Is Ruby developing confusedly romantic feelings for him purely because of their 'playing the roles', so to speak, of Sarina and Gorou? After all, the only other similar 'showmances', so to speak, that this could be referring to are AquKana and AquAka, neither of which quite fit the bill, especially when Frill talks about immediately snapping out of those feelings once the show is over — which didn't happen in the least for either pairing. Is this a hint of something to do with Ruby's feelings? Am I reading too much into this??? I mean, I almost definitely am, but I do that every week so…

Hopping over to Kana, the scene between her and Memcho itches my brain less mostly just because it's reiterating things communicated last week. I've said all I'll say about it feeling weird to me that Mem isn't making a move to intervene here but I do like the talk she and Kana have about their human jealousy towards Ruby. Honestly, I have a lot of respect for their being able to push it aside for so long because… honestly, none of what Kana said is wrong!

The second generation of B-Komachi exists for Ruby. Strawberry Productions got back into the idol business entirely so Ruby would have a group to be part of. Kana and Mem were recruited so Ruby would have unitmates to perform with. It doesn't revolve around her to the extent the previous generation did Ai, but in a very real sense Kana is correct when she identifies herself and Memcho as 'extras' for B-Komachi, who exist for Ruby's sake. Not only that but Ruby honestly treated them really badly while she was in black hoshigan mode! Yes, we as readers know what was going on in her head and why but think about how all that probably seemed to Kana and Mem who had no idea: From their POV, what happened was that they broke into mainstream success at last and Ruby immediately left them in the dust, prioritizing her own growth and success in a way that had a very real impact on the fan response the two of them got while they were busting their asses and trying their best to keep B-Komachi going in her absence. I don't think they would be wrong to feel honestly kind of used and hurt!

Obviously this isn't me saying that Ruby is a bad person or that she deserves to have Kana snap at her like that or whatever but… I dunno! It just feels good to have Mem and Kana finally address those feelings and admit to them without it compromising their genuine love and care for Ruby, which is one one of the main ways that the current gen of B-Komachi has surpassed the previous one. Kana especially touches on something I discussed last week in that I think her half of this shared RubyKana arc is going to be about confronting and besting her 'inner Nino', so to speak. Like Nino, she has those same tangled up feelings of admiration and envy, but Kana is capable of confronting them and identifying them. Most importantly, she loves Ruby enough to not let them take her over completely.

ANYWAY FORGET ALL THE REST OF THIS STUFF BECAUSE THIS WAS SECRETLY AN AI POST THIS WHOLE TIME MFS!!!!!!!! oh god this chapter review is already so long and now it's about to get even longer.

Anyone who's read any of my OnK meta before will probably know that I have always stood by one thing that I won't compromise on: Hoshino Ai was just a normal girl. She was a normal girl who suffered abuse and neglect and hated herself as a result, who was exploited by the entertainment industry because she was pretty and vulnerable, who didn't understand people but spent every waking moment of her too-short life reaching out so she could try and love them. The idea of Ai being fundamentally mysterious or unknowable, that the so called 'real Ai' had some horrible dark secret or that the supposedly 'true' Ai really was as horrible as Ai thought herself to be have never resonated with me. The 'real me' that is so horrible that Ai can only speak of her with black stars is nothing more than the flawed, hurting, abused human behind Ai of B-Komachi. I've said this all along and yet there's always been a little part of me worried that Akasaka was going to pull a fast one and betray that idea and rupture the heart of this character I've come to love so much.

To that end — I cannot tell you how insanely fucking cathartic the ending of this chapter was. To have Ruby at last come face to face with her mother as a human being and recognize her for who she really is. That this key final puzzle piece of the real Ai is centered on her pain and her loneliness and her raw humanity, that Ruby describes her as just a normal girl who was always crying and in pain… I genuinely don't have words to say how incredible it felt to finally, FINALLY have someone recognize Ai's suffering. And not just anyone, but one of Ai's children, one of the people she loved more than anything else in the world.

The imagery and framing here is so insanely powerful. Ai taking the place of Ruby's reflection, the look of weary, resigned pain on her face. How small Ai is when Ruby sees her. The barrier of the glass between them; even now in this moment of understanding, the unbreechable barrier of Ai's death keeps Ruby from truly reaching her. It almost feels skeuomorphic in how literal the visualization of this moment of connection and empathy is. Ruby literally sees herself in Ai — she sees Ai in herself. It's pure empathy made as real and tangible as it gets. At long, long last, someone has squinted past the blinding light cast by Ai of B-Komachi and seen Hoshino Ai alone in the shadows where she's been this whole time.

Break next week…! That was to be expected — Jump Festa 2024 will be taking place next weekend and there will be a OnK panel with the seiyuu for Ai, Aqua, Kana and Akane in attendance. We're confirmed to be getting some season 2 news as well, so there's that to look forward to!

[isthequeerbookgood]

I'm alive! Just. Between exams and catching covid I managed to finish exactly one book during June, and it was a nonfiction book called A Brief History of the Countryside in 100 Objects. Which I do recommend, but isn't entirely relevant to the theme of this blog.

However I did fail to complete a number of books, so naturally I'm here to tell you all exactly why.

Born of Scourge - S. Jean This one mostly just didn't grab me. The overall concept seemed pretty cool, but the writing felt quite… naive? I bounced off the style and wasn't invested enough to finish, I think other people might enjoy it more but to me it did feel kind of like it was written by a teenager. DNF'd at 20%

House of Crimson Hearts - Ruby Roe Reads like something I would have written aged 14 and that is not a compliment. It's just. So absurdly edgy. The main character is an extra special vampire who is hated and feared by everyone because of the way she was born. She owns a nightclub that has optics full of special flavours of blood. There's dubcon lesbian sex in chapter 2. I'm just too old and tired for this. DNF'd at chapter 3.

Moonlight Love and Witchcraft - Vaela Denarr and Micah Iannandrea This book deliberately advertises itself as low stakes and cosy, which is a legitimate choice. However, the authors seem to have mistaken low stakes for low impact. Lots of things happen but they don't seem to mean anything, and it didn't really feel like the characters or relationships were developing at all (kind of a problem in a romance novel). It felt like the write up of people batting around cool ideas about their OCs, rather than a coherent novel, which is... not the worst thing in the world?

Honestly I would probably have kept reading except for the fact that the character described as ADHD rep was so viscerally annoying that she felt like a hate crime against me personally. Also it's 150k. DNF'd at 40%.

10 Things That Never Happened - Alexis Hall Honestly I quite enjoyed Alexis Hall's other novels in this universe. His writing tends toward the ridiculous, but they are genuinely funny and he has a real awareness of contemporary life. Unfortunately this one seems to revolve around some tropes I personally don't enjoy (the main character faking amnesia - I really hate romance stories that revolve around deceit) so I put it down. I can't remember where I DNF'd because I returned it to the library.

[moltensmusings]

Alright going to talk about the Manhwa "How to Win my Husband Over" with heavy spoilers and tw for: eating disorders, abuse, incest, suicidal ideation. If you haven't read the series and can handle these, I highly recommend doing so rather than hearing me ramble. Everything I listed is portrayed as a negative thing, there's no romanticizing it.

I've been reading the series since the translations first started and don't talk about it much but I want to.

The story follows Rudbeckia, who has been reincarnated from our world into a novel she read. She takes over the body of a villainess in the novel who married the male lead and brought about death and destruction of both others and herself on the direction of her family. We follow her as she tries to avoid this fate by going way over the top in her attempts to show adoration for her husband while rejecting the chances to do what her family sent her for.

It is a very funny series at times but gets incredibly heavy.

I really love how complicated all the characters are and how the author seems to be putting out the idea that there isn't really a simple good or bad character in the reoccurring cast. Obviously Ruby's family itself is portrayed as pretty clear cut evil with how they both emotionally and physically abused her. But there's still a depth to them that makes them more terrifying than characters who are mustache twirlingly evil.

Now onto my rambles:

Ruby struggling with the same things Ellen and Izek's mother did with Ellen being the only one of the two with full knowledge of that and a deep trauma connected to it, means that to me her reaction and actions (while aggrevating and disappoint at times) make sense. Coupling in the fact that no one likes or trusts Ruby's family only compounds the issues.

I like how the author writes Ruby as not suddenly getting better from her depression and Bulemia, with it instead being something she relapses on when under intense stress. Mental illness isn't something that just goes away because people love you or you find happiness, Izek loving Ruby isn't a one and done fix for her own troubles. And Bulemia once more taking ahold of her life in the wake of the Cardinal appearing brings a whole new level of tragedy to things.

I don't even blame Ellen for getting angry or stressed in these moments and not being able to deal with Ruby because it makes sense that she wouldn't. She was the one at the hands of her mother's abuse when her mother went through a similar situation, she got to see the decline first hand and what the end result was. It doesn't matter if she's a grown woman that trauma doesn't stop existing.

And on the subject of the Cardinal, when he kissed her, I really liked that the author and artist made it dramatic and horrifying. They'd built up this man as abusive, cruel, one of the main contributors to Ruby being as she was. We'd seen him in action while hiding behind the guise of being her brother who cares. The scenes are always given the weight and tone they deserve as we get put in Ruby's shoes.

I enjoy the romance that grew between her and Izek and how he is always on her side regardless of what people say, but I also like that the author doesn't just make Ruby instantly confide in him all her troubles and history. That he doesn't immediately fix her life or take away all her turmoil. It feels realistic in a way. Not perfect but still.

I know readers have a habit of just hating on everyone who causes pain or trouble for the female lead in these stories but I am waiting for us to get more content on Freya because I heard her actions are painted more sympathetic and I want to see what is written for her.

All in all I really like this story, from the art to the writing it's a great read.

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

So, this little ditty has been floating around in my Twitter orbit, and people’s replies are pretty much what would be expected from something like this in the SPN "Family". Before I get into some of the trends I saw, I want to note a few points I saw made along the way. One person said that Ruby should have just been one character on the last row, and Meg should be included, and I agree. I also saw someone point out that Sam and Dean shouldn’t even be on the list. I agree with that statement, too, because the show is about them, so we technically shouldn’t be able to remove either. Finally, I think there could easily be about two more rows of characters on this list to consider from, but it is what it is.

(Souce)

Anyway, let’s get back to what I found in the replies and quotes. You have a good number of people with what I consider to be pretty reasonable selections. For example, pretty much everyone gets rid of Samuel, Gordon, and Kevin. I pretty much agree with these. Kevin is fine but compared to Death (iconic), Rowena (very popular), and Sam Fucking Winchester the poor guy just can’t compete. Gordon is a murdery jerk, and Samuel is a bag of dicks. Then we have our legions removing John because, well, he gets hate from almost every side, so while I don’t agree with removing him, personally, I’m not surprised either. Many many people remove Mary, which again, is understandable for me. There is a fair amount of Castiel removal (more of my thoughts on that later). Finally, out of the more reasonable responses, a lot of people remove Ruby 2, which I have mixed feelings about.

Then we get into the ridiculous takes. More people than a show about brothers, that couldn’t even exist without Sam, chose Sam. I’m sorry but, eat shit. There ain’t no Dean if ain’t no Sam, and there ain’t no show if there ain’t no Sam. Take your AA ass or shipping delusions and go. Next, we have the people who crossed out literally everyone except for Dean (excuse me while I roll my eyes), everyone in the Winchester family except for Dean, everyone except "Dean's boyfriends" (excuse me while i roll my eyes so hard I get a migraine), and everyone but Dean and Castiel (you guys can see my response above. It starts with an "E" and ends with a "shit"). This is a bad take because besides the fact that you can’t have the show at all without Sam, you also need the Winchester family as a whole if you’re going to have Dean because so much of his character is informed by them. Finally, we have the people who crossed out everyone except for Sam. Honestly, I think this was done more in response to the hellers and AAs, but, come on guys, the show wouldn’t work with just Sam either. And as much as I love him, he isn’t the only good or necessary character.

Anyway, this got me overthinking thinking about my own responses, and I realized that it wasn’t that easy for me to pick. I ended up having to think of this "assignment" from a few angles: who is least necessary to the story, who overstays their welcome the longest, and who just annoys me? Now, it wasn’t always clear which criteria the people who answered on Twitter were using, but most seemed to be looking at it from one of these angles.

So, I’m going to put my responses from each of these angles under the cut, as well as some of my reasoning (because I’m me and I can’t just do the activity WITHOUT some kind of commentary on it … sorry). So, if you’re interested, please do see my thoughts below. If you’re not interested, but want to do this for yourself, feel free to use the image I posted above, but just include the source if you post it.

First, while I really enjoy Benny, I had to remove him in this case because I don’t think he fundamentally changes Dean or Sam. He come between them, yes, but it’s not even his fault that he does, rather it’s because of Sam and Dean's own issues. Purgatory effects Dean more than Benny. Second, I already said Samuel is a bag of dicks, and I’ll stick to that. Mitch seems like a sweetheart, but Grandaddy Winchester sucks. Third, While Bella is a good foil for the boys in Season 3, and the show could have done more with her character, she doesn’t have a lot of impact on the greater scheme of things. Fourth, Kevin does have a place in the plot as a prophet, but the other two play a more significant role in either their impact on the boys or the plot (and I wasn’t crossing off Sam). Finally, I had to chose Gordon, even though I like how he is used in Seasons 2 and 3, Ruby and Crowley have more lasting impact on the boys and the story overall.

A lot of characters are either underutilized on Supernatural, or they stay so long that there isn’t anything left to do with their character but make them worse. My first pick is Mary for this because, while I don’t mind the idea of bringing her back in theory, the execution was … lacking. I don’t think her coming back did a lot for her character. Yes we get to see Dean tell her he loves her and hates her, and we get to see her ignore Sam unless he’s supporting her, and we get to see her put literally everyone before her boys, but … well, you get my point, I think. I chose Samuel because after him being in the story in "In The Beginning", I don’t love how the show used him, and The Campbells story line didn’t amount to much. Third, both Lucifer and Castiel overstayed their welcome in similar ways, for me. Both had a couple of natural end points that the show could have just stuck with: Luficer/Nick in Season 5, Season 7 when Sam stopped hallucinating, and at the end of Season 13; and Cass in Season 7 and at the end of Season 12. Both of their stories could have had stronger finishes if ended more definitively sooner. If I had to pick, I think Nick in Season 14 is the most egregious over staying of an SPN character's welcome. Forth, I chose Rowena not because she stayed too late into the show exactly, but because she has some side story and early story beats that I wasn’t very invested in. Finally, it pains me, but I have to say from this list, that Crowley outstayed his welcome the longest. Or rather, the writers stopped knowing what to do with his character, wasted at least a season on bad side plots with him, then had the character go out on a whimper.

Okay, here’s my last criterion for this simple little twitter activity. First, I’ve seen a lot of people cross of Lisa with relish, but honestly, I think she was a pretty decent person and put up with quite a lot. And it was so real of her to know the score: "As soon as Sam walked back through that door, I knew it was over…" (or something like that). I’ve also seen people say that Dean's "one who got away" should have been Casey, and while I think that’s a fair argument, Cassy pretty much told him to beat it in Season 1. Anyway, I chose Mary here for the reasons described in the last section, and for her generally sulky demeanor and ignoring of Sam. Second, sorry, Samuel, but for reasons already discussed, plus you trying to trade your grandson's lives to a demon, you gotta go. Third, we have Lucifer and Cass once more sharing my ire. If we are talking Season 12 Lucy, or who-gives-a-shit-about-this-storyline Nick, than Mark P has to go. However, if we are talking only late seasons Castiel, he has to go for the crimes of becoming an under-powered angel, letting Sam get killed by mutant vamps and not caring at all, and becoming a generally boring simp. It’s a toss up. Fourth, Kevin, I’m sorry, I’m adding fuel to any fans out there campaigning for "justice for Kevin." I don’t dislike Kevin, I just Like OG Death and later seasons Rowena more. Finally, this might be controversial, but I like most of Gordon's episodes and I like what he reveals about Sam and Dean. The character is a jerk, but I like how he’s used. Also, I picked the original Ruby, even though I think she’s stronger than Gen acting-wise because her characterization of her is so no-nonsense and harsh, that I wouldn’t have bought Sam being manipulated by her in the same way as Gen's Ruby. I can’t see Sam and that version of Ruby hooking up or her working him the in the same way.

Anyway, if you actually read this far, many thanks. I know these kinds of things don’t interest everyone, but there is a little meta commentary mixed in here.

If anyone is interested in participating, I’d love to see who you would eliminate and for what reasons! Are there any characters not pictured who you would remove? Why?

[geodax]

Somewhere Beyond the Stars

The RWBY/Star Wars crossover that nobody asked for but now exists anyway.

Enjoy!

Summary: Obi-Wan and Ahsoka find themselves in the world of Remnant. Ahsoka enrolls in Beacon academy and Obi-Wan joins the staff while they wait for the Republic to find them. But something dark is stirring in Remnant and their new friends are going to need the help of the Jedi.

Read on AO3 or read below

"Hello there!” Ahsoka said, chipper as she could manage. “I’m Ahsoka Tano.”

“And I’m Ruby Rose,” Ruby said, vigorously shaking her hand. Professor Ozpin had asked Ruby’s team to help Ahsoka integrate with the students, but Ruby doesn’t seem to resent it. In fact, she seemed excited at the chance to conduct what she must be thinking of as a sort of mission.

That was a relief. Some of the other young students and diplomats Ahsoka had met as a padawan had been stiff and awkward at best or scheming and manipulative at worst.

Ruby introduced her team, a group of teens about Ahsoka’s age, all of them wearing the academy’s uniform. Ahsoka hoped she wouldn’t have to wear it. It was not really her style.

“So, you’re all training to be huntresses?” Ahsoka asked. “That must be exciting.”

“This is our first year, but it’s already been so exciting! We defeated a giant Nevermore during a first training exercise. You see, when we got lost in the forest, I said we should ride the Nevermore—”

“Which was by far the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Weiss said.

“It was brilliant! You just didn’t like me yet,” Ruby said. “But then we all met up, and I ran up a cliff—”

“With my glyphs!”

“And cut off its head!” Ruby mimed the act with a flourish of her cape.

“I am so proud of my baby sister,” Yang said, pulling Ruby into a headlock to mess up her hair.

“Hey!” Ruby’s arms waved uselessly, before Yang let her go. She patted her hair back into place with a scowl, but it didn’t quite hide the smile.

“But don’t worry, our training isn’t usually so… intense,” Blake said.

Yang snorted.

“We like to get involved,” Ruby said. “Even if that means things get dangerous sometimes.”

Ahsoka smiled. They sounded so much like the clones, especially when they met up with the 212th and got to exchange stories over campfire. And despite how much she wished they were here, and Anakin with them, at least being here won’t be too boring.

Besides, Master Obi-Wan was here too. She doubted she could have gotten herself so ingratiated with Professor Ozpin without his help. Even though being enrolled in school felt an awful lot like being sidelined, she couldn’t deny that she missed being with people her own age. And it was nice to have a break from the war.

And, even better, she doesn’t have to deal with all the boring diplomatic discussions Master Obi-Wan will endure to get them back in contact with the Republic.

“Do you want to spar?” Ahsoka asked. “I’ve never met huntresses before.”

The four girls glanced at each other. “You’re not a huntress?” Blake asked. Her bow twitched.

“We call ourselves Jedi, where I’m from.” Ahsoka sparked up her shoto saber. “And we all use these. They’re called lightsabers.”

Ruby openly gaped at yellow saber, her smile growing impossibly wide.

“Did you make that? How did you—Is that Light Dust? Does it change shape? Can you zap Grimm with it? Does it change color, hold on, actually—”

“Let’s spar,” Yang said with an equally excited grin on her face.

Weiss rolled her eyes, but Ahsoka didn’t miss the way her eyes lingered on Ahsoka’s sabers. “The practice fields are this way,” Weiss said. “Come on.”

Ahsoka followed them through the campus, noting mostly friendly, but a few hostile reactions to her presence. Ozpin said people would assume she was a faunus, one of the two sentient species on this planet, and that not everyone would treat her kindly because of it.

It wouldn’t be the first time. She was a Togruta on Coruscant, a majority human planet. She was also a Jedi in a galaxy that was increasingly turning against them.

She supposed it would have been too much to ask to have a break from that too.

Team RWBY changed into their combat clothes in the locker room and retrieved an interesting assortment of weapons, not one of which Ahsoka recognized. She ignored the twinge of nervousness in her belly. They may not be the blasters or lightsabers she had trained to face, but Master Anakin would call this a test of adaptability and creativity.

She won’t let him down.

“Who’s first?” Ahsoka asked. She kept her body purposefully relaxed and at ease, then smiled what Anakin had once called her ‘Obi-Wan’ smile.

Yang waggled her eyebrows in response, but Ruby stepped up faster. “Let’s do this,” Ruby said. She unsheathed her weapon, which rapidly expanded into the most gigantic scythe Ahsoka had ever seen.

Ahsoka ignited her own weapons in response, then settled into the ready position.

Yang counted them off and then they were moving.

Ruby was fast, so much faster than Ahsoka had ever anticipated. She had the speed of a Jedi, but she didn’t move like one. Her movements were sharp and jerking, constantly shifting direction and tone, making her a very difficult target to hit.

Ahsoka took a kick to the face before she realized the scythe was also a blaster. The blasts aided in Ruby’s dashes and dives, shifting her momentum in an instant.

It was incredible.

Ahsoka breathed slowly, then settled into the Force. It guided her movements, pulling her along faster and faster to keep up with the spinning of Ruby’s scythe and the blaster shots that followed. Even using the Force to shove Ruby away had next to no effect. She simply blasted herself right back at Ahsoka, a trail of rose petals in her wake.

But slowly, she adjusted her own strategies. She dove within Ruby’s reach, using her shoto blade to her advantage in the close quarters. Without the space to move and swing her scythe, Ruby was quickly losing ground. Her footwork couldn’t keep up with Ahsoka’s nor could she get her blaster between the two of them to fire off any shots.

Ahsoka knocked the scythe away, then kicked Ruby’s legs out from under her. She pointed her saber at the other girl’s throat.

“Yield,” Ahsoka said, her chest heaving and sweat dripping down her brow.

“You win,” Ruby said, just as exhausted.

Ahsoka quickly sheathed her sabers and offered her a hand up. “You’re amazing. I’ve never seen anyone fight like you.”

“You’re pretty amazing too,” Ruby said. “And your semblance is awesome! Can you just push people away? Or are you controlling the metal or fabric or is it some sort of explosion type semblance—”

“I can do a lot more than just push people away,” Ahsoka said. She opened her hand and floated her lightsaber over it. “It’s a form of telekinesis. All Jedi have it.”

“The same semblance held by an entire group?” Weiss said. “That’s unusual.”

Ahsoka shrugged. “It is what it is.” She wasn’t supposed to share too much about her life in the galaxy. This planet was uncontacted, too far out into the outer rim to even be on the Republic’s radar. Bringing tales of a galaxy at war would cause anything from disbelief to panic. Nothing good.

“You up for another round?” Weiss asked.

Ahsoka was tired, but Anakin wouldn’t want her to quit now. “Let’s do it,” Ahsoka said. She ignited her lightsabers again.

Weiss pulled out her rapier and held it aloft. Strangely, the opening post reminded her of Master Obi-Wan’s favored opening.

It took only a few strikes to realize that Weiss was nothing like Ruby. She fought like a fencer, precise and fast, jabbing and slipping past her guard with needle-like accuracy. She was almost like Master Obi-Wan when he chose to use the saber form Makashi.

The explosions of fire and ice were a nasty surprise.

But the sword, at least, Ahsoka could handle.

She used the Force to swing the Dust attacks back at Weiss, but Weiss was fast. Very fast. And she had clearly trained against someone who wielded two swords.

And then the magic came into play.

Ahsoka leapt away from the markings that formed on the ground and in the air. Weiss used them as platforms to leap from, to create explosions, to speed her reactions, and even to throw Ahsoka from one side of their little arena to the other.

Glyphs, Ahsoka realized. Weiss’s semblance.

Ahsoka sank deeper into the Force, drawing on it to push her further, faster, but not fast enough.

Never fast enough.

The next blast knocked her into the arena’s shield. Her body seized, struggling on the verge of unconsciousness, but she only collapsed, exhaustion settling in her veins.

Get up, Anakin would have said.

Get up!

“Ahsoka!” Weiss cried. She tossed her rapier aside and came running to her. “Are you okay? I didn’t realize your aura was so low already. I’m so sorry!”

Ahsoka shook the dizziness from her head. “I’m okay. I think I just—Oh.” She tried to blink the spots from her vision. Dust packed a hell of a punch.

“Let’s get you to the nurse,” Weiss said.

“No, no, I’m okay.” Ahsoka levered herself to her feet. Already, the Force was restoring her balance, healing her body. She forced herself to smile. “Let’s go another round.”

“Absolutely not,” Yang said, something oddly strained in her voice. “We’re getting lunch. Come on.”

Ahsoka blinked dumbly at her, but that didn’t stop Blake from grabbing her arm and tugging her along. “There’s serving ramen in the cafeteria today,” Blake said. “It’s probably the only thing worth eating there and I’m not missing it.”

“Trust me,” Yang said. “You’ve done enough training today. Let’s have some fun.”

Obi-Wan sat across the desk from Ozpin as the man drank his coffee with slow, measured sips. Already, he had explained why they had no space travel despite the advancement of their technology; the Dust that powered their ships simply didn’t work beyond the atmosphere. Even trying to contact the Republic was near impossible. The communications network of Remnant was tightly bound to the planet; all signals would degrade before they reached the atmosphere, let alone reached into hyperspace and onto the Republic.

They were trapped here until the fleet found them.

If they ever found them. They were deep in Wild Space. At least, that was his best guess after his limited stargazing. They were impossibly far from where they should have come out of hyperspace, farther still from the Republic and the war.

He could barely sense the Jedi and the light they had so stubbornly cultivated for over a thousand generations. Even his sense of Anakin was nearly absent.

“What do you suggest, Professor?” Obi-Wan asked.

“You are welcome to remain here,” Ozpin said. He set his coffee aside. “Ahsoka may certainly continue her training here, among children her own age. And I’m sure our students wouldn’t mind a few lessons of your own form of combat. There are extremely few huntsmen that can take down a Goliath Grimm alone.”

Obi-Wan studied the man across from him: his manufactured calmness, the age in his eyes, the guilt practically ripping him apart.

Ozpin sought allies. Against the Grimm, certainly, but something else. Something his huntsmen and huntresses were not prepared for despite the already impressive display of ability Obi-Wan had seen when one of Ozpin’s men, Qrow, had come to his and Ahsoka’s aid.

They had been in dire straits. The fight with the Goliath had drained Obi-Wan’s strength, leaving Ahsoka to fight the Grimm that dogged their path as the struggled desperately for civilization.

It had been kindness, yes, that brought Qrow to them. But not only kindness.

Because there was something else going on. Obi-Wan just didn’t know what.

He would find out though.

“I believe some time here would do Ahsoka some good,” Obi-Wan said. She needed time away from the war and certainly more time to train without the threat of death haunting her every step. She was still a padawan. She deserved this kindness.

He also could not deny that the monsters that plagued this city were evil. They were constructs of the Darkside itself. And while he sensed great fear in Ozpin and certainly didn’t trust his motives, he also sensed his desire to preserve life. To protect what peace they had achieved.

“And I believe I could be of some help to your students,” Obi-Wan said.

“Then allow me to introduce you to the other professors,” Ozpin said. He led Obi-Wan out of his office, through the tower, and the courtyards. It was a truly beautiful campus, classical stonework interspersed with modern metal sheathed towers. Young men and women lingered among them, talking and playing in the shade of the trees.

It reminded him of the padawan dorms before the war. They had always been busy and full of life, usually with more than a few pranks waiting to be sprung in the name of vigilance training. Obi-Wan remembered when he had accidently caught Qui-Gon in a downpour of sap. It had been meant for Quinlan, revenge for the week Obi-Wan had spent in green robes, courtesy of his friend’s paints sneaking into his laundry.

Obi-Wan had been mortified, but Qui-Gon had only laughed. He had known the risks of entering the padawan dorms, had remembered what antics he got up to with his own friends growing up. It had been a way to let off steam, to simply be teenagers after coming home from missions where they often found themselves with the weight of the galaxy on their shoulders. Or at least, partially on their shoulders. Masters protected them from the worst of it, while still teaching them how to bear the responsibility.

It had finally broken the ice between them after Tahl’s death.

But the padawan dorms were so often empty except for those too injured to fight or who were on what bereavement leave the Senate allowed them after their masters died. Obi-Wan had not even had to watch his head when he had last visited Ahsoka’s sparse quarters.

They found a few of Beacon’s professors gathered outside the cafeteria. They greeted Obi-Wan with smiles, handshakes, and a few brief words of introduction. Glynda, Ozpin’s second, reminded him of Mace. She was stern, yes, but kind. Oobleck was what he believed Madame Nu would be like if she was given unlimited access to the stims and caffeine patches that healers kept well away from her.

And Port, well, he was a terrifying hybrid of Shaak Ti, Plo Koon, and Evan Piell that Obi-Wan was certain would barrel through any obstacle in the name of protecting others. And then would inevitably force the Council to listen through an hours long recap of their adventures.

None found Obi-Wan’s presence particularly unusual. Ozpin must call in huntsmen to teach now and then, perhaps even to take students on training missions. They did much the same at the Jedi Temple.

“Let’s see that weapon of yours!” Port said, finally cutting through the small talk.

“So forward,” Obi-Wan said. He winked at the other man, pulling a blush from him and a laugh from the group.

“It is tradition that we test new teachers on the field of battle,” Oobleck said. “It is a good way to form bonds of friendship and camaraderie. And to better understand how well we will function as a team.”

“I’m afraid I’m still recovering from my last battle,” Obi-Wan said, pointedly rolling his shoulder. It was about the only part of him that wasn’t injured by the goliath, but even to his allies, he had no intention of revealing weakness. Not until he better understood the lay of the land. “But perhaps a different sort of test would suit your purposes, Doctor Oobleck.”

“A game of strategy, perhaps?” Oobleck said.

“Or chance?” Port said.

“It’s a bit early to begin gambling, don’t you think?” Glynda said.

“Nonsense! It’s the weekend and the chefs have cooked up a very tasty collection of chips for our game. Now, what say all of you?” Port said.

“A bit of fun would do us some good,” Ozpin said.

“So long as you all don’t mind losing,” Oobleck said.

“You’ll be the one losing this time!” Port said, clapping Oobleck on the back before leading them all into the cafeteria.

Once inside, he caught sight of Ahsoka sitting in one corner, a group of teenagers surrounding her as they all hurriedly slurp through bowl after bowl of ramen. Her laughter echoed across the high ceilings when one of the girls teasingly stole her bowl of noodles and replaced it with a pile of empty ones. The joke quickly devolved into a squabble, ending with an orange haired girl standing on the table and threatening another food fight.

Obi-Wan quickly followed the teachers, more than happy to let them have their mischief. Their hall was much smaller than the students’, but it was cozy and warm, the tables low to the ground and cushions to sit on.

One of the chefs arrived with lunch and a bowl of delicate cookies, which Port claimed as the chips for their game. Apparently, the chefs only made a very limited supply every month.

The rules of the game were simple, though the strategy was not. Port immediately established himself as an average, yet reckless, player, though Obi-Wan suspected that was a deception. The others were more subtle in their manipulations, but, truthfully, it was all fun. More than a few cookies were snuck out of the bowl when Oobleck wasn’t looking, several handed specifically to Obi-Wan to help him out after he lost a few hands in a row.

“Obi-Wan,” Port whispered when Obi-Wan moved to put half his chips into the very large pot. Oobleck was making his master move, ready to tip the course of the game permanently in his favor and drag the rest of them slowly through the painful final rounds. “That is not the best strategy. Remember the alternate eights? Oobleck has the advantage right now.”

“Oh, no,” Obi-Wan said, but like the other mistakes he made before, Oobleck wouldn’t let him take it back. That man was more of a stickler for the rules than Cody was.

But in the end, that only made him predictable. And all the easier to manipulate.

“As you can see, Obi-Wan,” Oobleck said, revealing his cards to the group to a round of groans and folded cards from the rest. “While rarely applied, the rule of alternate eights—”

“Can be negated by the trio of nines,” Obi-Wan said. He flipped his own cards over with a smirk.

“And yet, in the end, they are both overruled by the full house,” Glynda said. She swept the chips to herself in uncharacteristic display of glee. After that move, the rest of them had no chance of victory.

Obi-Wan huffed. He’d pegged her as an good player, steady, but unable to take the risks needed to claim victory. “A good game, Glynda,” Obi-Wan said.

“And a good game from you as well, Obi-Wan,” Oobleck said. “Truly, you must have played before.”

“Something similar, though these rewards are far more delicious,” he said, popping one of the distinctly blue cookies into his mouth.

“Hey!” Oobleck cried, realizing too late that Obi-Wan stolen the rest of his chips while Glynda had claimed victory.

Obi-Wan handed the cookies back with minimal resistance and to the laughter of the larger group. “I should teach you all sabacc,” he said. “Though, I will warn you that cheating is very much encouraged in that game.”

“Perhaps, we should stick with this game then,” Oobleck said with a frown.

[lazybug16]

Books I read/reread in the last 3 months of 2022 and recommend (and yes, all of them are queer)

First rec

Afterlove by Tanya Byrne

Ash, a 16 year old student from Brighton, meets Poppy on a school trip and falls in love with her within a few months, but what happens when Ash is in an accident? Will death keep them apart?

Absolutely loved the concept, very quick read and you instantly fall in love with the two main characters and hope that they'll be together forever, amazing story and very well written 10/10

Date Me, Bryson Keller by Kevin van Whye

Bryson is dared to date a different person each week for three months, and by the end of it he is asked out by Kai (out of rage rather than want) who is a closeted gay guy just trying to survive high school in the closet, but maybe being Bryson's fake boyfriend could change that

An honest delight to read, all the characters seem real and the main two have amazing chemistry (for me they have similar vibes to Nick and Charlie from Heartstopper) 9/10

Here's to Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

Second book to What If It's Us, following Ben and Arthur in the big city again, but this time with boyfriends of their own, so are their feelings towards each other really gone?

I think it was just as good as the first book, if not maybe even better, I found it realistic and very pleasant to read 9/10

Jay's gay agenda by Jason June

Jay is the only out gay/queer in his hometown, but when him and his parents have to move to Seattle, he gets the opportunity to meet other people like him, and maybe he'll be able to cross out things from his Gay Agenda list

Very well written and loaaaaads of drama, but it also had its fluffy moments, I enjoyed it (even though there was quite a lot of miscommunication, it was solved and they vowed to do better) 9/10

Lab Partners by Mora Montgomery

Elliot is in his final year of high school, with his twin sister already in college and feeling the pressure of choosing a career path, he meets his new lab partner, Jordan, who might help him figure out who he is

I loved this book so so much oh my god Elliot is such a sweetheart! There's bullying which wasn't pleasant to read but the revenge and consequences are AMAZING (also had a hunch about Cole and I was right hehe) very easy and quick read 10/10

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Right after breaking up with her girlfriend because she wanted to have sex and Alice didn't, she moves in with her two best friends who are dating. The summer arrives and all she has is her job at the library, where she meets Takumi, her new coworker. Will she be able to open up to him about her being biromantic and asexual?

It's funny cause when I first read this back in 2018 I was studying the exact same thing that she wanted to study, AND I'm asexual, so it was really cool. There's family drama, friendship drama and relationship drama, all three. Very well written 9/10

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan

Morgan gets transferred to a new high school a few months before graduating and meets Ruby, who according to everyone is trouble and should stay away. But you can't choose who you love now can you?

Nice book with good queer rep but god the pageant story line was not pleasant for me sorry, and Ruby's mum can suck ass (also Dylan and Owen are the kind of brothers I need in my life) 8/10

What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

Arthur moves to NYC for the summer, interning at his mums law firm, but when he bumps into Ben at the post office, he might just believe that the universe decided to give him a chance at romance

Very cute story and fun to read, even though they were a bunch of 16/17 year olds haha, but it just felt real to me (also maybe too many Harry Potter references for my taste) 9/10

Queer rep

Afterlove (lesbian characters)

Date Me, Bryson Keller (gay and queer characters)

Here's to us (queer, gay and bisexual characters)

Jay's gay agenda (gay, genderqueer, queer and asexual (mentioned) characters)

Lab Partners (gay, asexual and aromantic characters)

Let's Talk About Love (asexual, biromantic and queer characters)

Some Girls Do (lesbian, queer, gay, pansexual, transgender)

What If It's Us (gay, biromantic and asexual characters)

[onewomancitadel]

(Yo’, it’s me; college has been going fine [if very stressful and close to giving me a heart-attack], just wanted to check how you’re doing now that the new Volume is out)

Your post about Jaune NOT getting written out of the narrative and stuff like that always keeps putting the rest of the fandom that I see in perspective, because it always seems like 3/5’s of them only ever take things directly and without much foresight, and the other 2/5’s just want a whole bunch of petty wish-fulfillment without taking the greater narrative into consideration or how it might genuinely affect things going forward. It’s like, they don’t see the fact that he has clear and tangible attachments to the rest of the cast who are out in Vacuo and how fucking abrupt it would be for him to just drop out of the plot in the middle of the story. Like, do they just expect Nora and Ren and Winter and Oscar and everyone else to just ACCEPT the fact that he’s no longer with them anymore, just like that? Are they just going to allow Cinder to play second-fiddle rival to Ruby? I’m really thankful that you’re always willing to take a step back and try to observe the grander picture, even if we are both a little biased to try and see the Knightfall threads. I also want you to know that, regardless of whatever happens in the show itself, that I (and hopefully a lot of others) will always stand on the Knightfall train wholeheartedly. Hope you’re doing well, yourself, btw.

It’s like, they don’t see the fact that he has clear and tangible attachments to the rest of the cast who are out in Vacuo and how fucking abrupt it would be for him to just drop out of the plot in the middle of the story.

I mean, I don't mean to be rude but they're taking the story at face value because that's how they're used to interacting with storytelling. Thing A happen, so Thing A happen the same way again. Narrative event is threatened, narrative event will play out exactly the way you expect it to. Jaune is sad, Jaune will be sad forever and written out.

To some degree, this is what storytellers rely on; being surprised is fun. The problem is that some people get offended by surprise now, and that's a different tin of worms to deal with.

I’m really thankful that you’re always willing to take a step back and try to observe the grander picture, even if we are both a little biased to try and see the Knightfall threads.

I personally enjoy considering the picture with or without Knightfall, it just so happens that it can be asserted on textual terms. I know you're being jocular, I just think it's interesting how it's considered a bias but Jaune/Weiss isn't.

I think you've otherwise made good points here I can't really otherwise expand upon. He has too many narrative ties. Cinder has more to do in the story, as Ruby opens up her own darker interior. The exciting question is how Jaune gets out of this.

I think people have lost the language to articulate suspension.

It's very kind of you to send this message, and thank you for checking in with me. I wasn't doing so hot. You never know whose day you could make though, because I got the gumption to check my inbox because I had some lovely interactions the other day that made me feel less scared.

I just assume no one likes my posts lol.

Good luck with college and hope you're doing better on that front. Remember to take it easy, a five minute break can make all the difference, and an extra 20% of effort can make an 80% improvement.

[djbeatz]

Love Languages (Soukoku)

Chuuya’s love languages would probably be Physical affection and gift giving, while Dazai’s would be Physical affection and Words of affirmation. I think that these two sharing the physical affection love language is both really cute and oddly appropriate.

When they were both in the mafia, they always insulted and mocked each other and never genuinely admitted to even caring for each other, saying out loud was not something they were good at or likely even known how to do. So instead of speaking with words, they spoke with actions.

It was mostly the little things like how whenever Chuuya seems to be distant or looking distracted, Dazai would always know it’s Arahabaki and make frequent excuses to touch him; and when Dazai would disassociate or just look a little gloomier than usual, Chuuya may bump their shoulders a little more or punch him a little softer. If either of them knew about it, neither of them ever acknowledged it.

For the other two though? They struggle a little sometimes, but once they worked it out, it was very cute.

Chuuya definitely likes to give people gifts, he believes that the people he cares for deserve all the things he could give them, this also isn’t restricted to material things. He does seem like the kind of person who would enjoy giving more than receiving, but it’s actually the opposite, he just won’t admit because he doesn’t want to bother people like that or seem like something he isn’t because his image is very important to him. This probably explains why he sometimes spoils himself in quite a few different luxuries, it feels nice to have something for himself. If someone were to ever give him something? He’d remember it extremely vividly, it wouldn’t matter how much time would pass, it probably be one of his favorite memories.

For Dazai. I don’t even know how to begin to explain this but, words of affirmation. This is strongly inspired by the Wan actually; that scene where Dazai was completely knocked out by Atsushi just saying a few nice things, I imagined that Dazai had enjoyed it to a concerning amount, but he had never really experienced that feeling and never to that extent, so he had no idea how to react, he was mostly dazed by the situation. Also, in his mafia days, I’m sure he was praised by Mori for his skills and effective use, occasionally by other Executives and such as well, but he never truly cared for it. To him, he wasn’t doing anything really amazing or praiseworthy, he was simply doing his job and yes, he is aware of his own genius, but even if you’re aware that you are smart, it just feels normal to you does it not?

The way these two meet in the middle is actually a lot simpler than you’d think. Dazai knows Chuuya very well, so it wouldn’t take much for him to realize that Chuuya enjoys receiving gifts, the hard part to him was finding something to give to a man who could basically buy himself anything. The first gift he ever gave Chuuya was a lot simpler than he’d wanted it to be, it was a pair of ruby cufflinks (bought with Chuuya’s card of course). Chuuya was definitely shocked, and confused, but once he understood he was just...happy. He wore them every day, with every outfit, he’d always find a way to make them work. Eventually though, once Chuuya found out how much thought Dazai actually put into choosing them, he said (not directly) that it didn’t matter what he got him, anything would make him happy.

Chuuya also knows Dazai very well, he doesn’t go bragging about it, but he does. He’s seen the way that Dazai has no reaction to praise towards his skills and he knows why, so he also knows that Dazai can’t handle being praised or complimented for anything else because it’s both something he hasn’t experienced and something personal to him. Chuuya isn’t afraid to admit that Dazai is smart, it’s a fact that everyone knows; but you will never hear him say anything positive towards Dazai in public. In private though? He is even more blunt when it comes to just complimenting Dazai in general. Once he even wrote a short poem about Dazai for Dazai. The poor mackerel couldn’t function right for the whole rest of the week. (He even framed it in his room for himself only).

Also, the reason why Chuuya isn’t afraid to admit his affections now, is for 2 reasons. 1, He’s older now, he has more experience in life, and his mind has matured so eventually he had come clean to himself about his feelings for Dazai. 2. He’s aware of how Dazai feels about him. The mutual affection makes it easier for him to feel comfortable in showing it.

A combination of all three of these though? It’d probably look something like the two of them cuddling on the couch, bickering of course, but Chuuya would be asking Dazai what kind of headband he believes would look good with the brunette’s eyes and hair, this would obviously fluster Dazai, but he’d be doing his best to refrain from just throwing the new choker he got for Chuuya in his face and escaping.

Wow this is long.

[terezis]

how Did you like nona tho?

short answer: i liked it! i didn't love it. as of this exact moment, having read it twice, i think that nona the ninth should have been pruned mercilessly and put into a very long alecto. (breaking dawn is 756 pages! they could’ve done it!!!) it didn’t need to be its own book, and does not do enough to justify itself as one. 

that said: it was still pretty good!!! 

long answer: i’m gonna be spicy first and then talk about what i liked LOL... spoilers under the cut

most of my criticism here comes back to the fact that this was originally meant to be the first act of alecto the ninth. you can tell. i definitely feel like i have read the beginning of alecto. like, don't get me wrong, most of nona stands on its own as a story, and it's a fun read; but you could have cut a good third of this book and it wouldn't have changed anything. 

we spend a frankly OBSCENE amount of time on nona's daily life when we could have gotten the picture in forty pages... and for all that she's deeply invested in her home life, her time at school, and her friends, the book fails to make ME care, which is disappointing because i know tamsyn muir is capable of doing so.

i mean, in the first two books everyone was uniquely delightful and felt like they could be the main character of a different story. it was hilarious to watch gideon interact with silas and colum; i love the original lyctors. but why should i care about beautiful ruby, whom i cannot distinguish from the other one, what's his name, born in the morning? we suffer? hell, even the angel???

you could replace pash with any nameless rebel and the story wouldn't change overmuch; the fact that she's apparently wake's niece has no relevance, except that it makes her hate zombies more… but most people in this book do, so who cares. what’s the point.

likewise, details and subplots that, in previous books, would have become relevant to the larger story at some point, don't seem to matter as much in nona. is that because they're going to be addressed again in alecto, or because they actually don't matter? i can’t tell.

take for example: hot sauce’s burns. compare it to something like abigail's backstory; it's a minor detail, but her interest in lyctoral history ended up spooking cytherea, which got her murdered, kickstarting the main conflict of the first book.

am i being too nitpicky here? did it not feel like those burns were supposed to be more relevant than they were? especially after we learn that she thinks edenites are too soft, so she hangs out with a fringe group implied to be responsible for the zombie burnings? but neither thing ever comes up again. is it just flavor? 

also consider: the different factions of the blood of eden, namely the hopers, who we’re frequently TOLD are major obstacles to the characters’ immediate goals, but who we rarely see become a problem. we suffer says it’s hard to convince them of anything, but they never really refuse her in any meaningful way. what are the stakes? is this the same group who previously killed 18,000 cohort soldiers with a space nuke? where's the oomph??? 

i feel like all of the above is also exacerbated by the fact that the entire book is told from nona's pov, and nona just does not give a single shit about the larger conflicts happening around her. it's not her fault. if i were her, i don't know if i'd care either. but as a result she spends SO MUCH of the book away from the action, which sucks when the best parts of this book are when she actually gets to be involved. 

i loved when she snuck out to talk to varun; when she listened to cam's tapes; when she and hot sauce ran off to see the broadcast. those parts fucked!!! i liked when she got to throw a tantrum!!! it was spooky!!! let her loose!!! i guess she has been let loose now, but it would've been nice if it had happened sooner.

look, i know this is a lot of criticism for a book i keep saying i liked. i really did enjoy it. harrow the ninth also had to grow on me, and u know i love that shit now. i like when a book is a puzzle, and the locked tomb is one of those thousand piece motherfuckers. right now nona gets a 6.5/10 from me, but mayhaps that will change on another reread.

anyways here's my highlight reel:

i was thrilled when gideon woke up and made a joke about stealing palamedes' girl

it’s so fucked up that ianthe wore babs' body like a little suit (complimentary) and when that body hugged corona omg. recall the last time the sisters saw each other. so fucking juicy. i love her

i LOVED the nun. pre-res anastasia? when she did the thing with the gun??? delicious

the thing with anastasia's bones at the very end Intrigued Me Deeply, and i want to know more about her relationship with alecto

the part where pyrrha told nona about her terrible shirt made me cry, which is funny bc the shirt had a sex joke on it

THE PART WHEN AIGLAMENE TOOK GIDEON'S FACE IN HER HANDS AND FLINCHED BACKWARDS BECAUSE SHE RELEASED SHE WAS LOOKING AT A CORPSE, AND SAID THEY KILLED YOU, AND GIDEON JOKED ABOUT IT, AND AIGLAMENE TURNED TO HARROW FURIOUSLY FOR LETTING GIDEON DIE, OW MY HEART

did not expect gideon to do a kill on crux, liked it, liked how she reacted to it, still don't think it's really gideon as we know her though

like she was MEAN. she was so sassy!!! i know she is sassy in general, but she was like NICE sassy in the other books, why is she acting like the villain version of herself, the stuff she said about becoming john's cavalier was so fucking weird, i don't think it was a front??? but why would she want that??? she was so MEAN

i hope she and ianthe are actually friendship bracelet wearing buds though like imagine when harrow finds that out. hilarious

i REALLY liked the fucked up nun. like a LOT

[honey-milk-depresso]

please please please can we get a Yae Miko reader with the Diasomnia boys? I think the fact a kitsune has a really long lifespan would be a good match for them </3

Just a reminder, I'm opening requests! More info can be found here. I decided to announce that through this so people know ;-;;;;;

I'm not quite sure about Silver though, but I'll use Yae's personality and you can imagine if s/o's a kitsune! ^^

An enigmatic individual, you shroud yourself in a mysterious demeanour, your kind smile seems to make people wonder what your intentions truly are.

While some people are sceptical, you're kindness makes all that doubt melt away, helping your peers and dutiful in your work and theirs.

You're one to enjoy a good book, and you love stories of all kinds.

TWST The benevolent yet enigmatic, book loving s/o (Yae Miko)

Malleus Draconia

Malleus is intrigued by how you present yourself.

Your gentle smile is somehow so... strange. Not to say he sees you as two faced or something, but he feels you hide things from others. He's never spoken about this out loud, but the fae thinks you know he knows.

Nonetheless, he still enjoys you're presence.

A story to share everyday, while you walk around campus with him in the middle of the night. Malleus shares the stories of his own, as he smiles when you ask him more about it, clearly interested in his stories.

He's never talked to anyone besides Lilia, Silver and Sebek, who are considered his family. You were the first person to ever talk to him informally like you were his... friend.

And he smiles softly at the thought. A friend. How nice.

Malleus may find your enigmatic self a little weird, but he gets pass all of it when it comes to you talking about your day, a book you've read, and you share it with him.

In your eyes he can see,

this is your kindness reaching out to him. He won't ever trade it for the world. <3

Lilia Vanrouge

He's amused by how you've shrouded yourself in mystery it seems. All with a lighthearted smile~

Lilia has his fair shares of being known as such throughout the school, and the fae knows this himself. How cheeky.

Lilia is a man filled with stories from his past, from books, stories he shared to Malleus and Silver when they were children, his own knowledge gained from experience. He leaves you guessing how his stories flow, playfully smiling when you pouted upon hearing he'll "stop there".

Much like you, Lilia enjoys listening to the stories you share as well! He could listen to you all day long, all night long. He appreciates that you share stories with Malleus, Silver and Sebek, too. And that you help them and of course, everyone else in NRC to the fullest of your potential. Your kindness has even made Sebek and Malleus smile, something he's overjoyed to see.

You meet Lilia again with a new book in hand, moments like these he is bound to treasure with his heart.

"Well, what's the new lucky book you wish to share with me?~" <3

Silver

Silver never really paid attention, but one glance could make him wonder who you truly are.

Your smile never screamed sinister anywhere, but he feels... that you can be weird sometimes. Something about you is mystifying, but he doesn't ponder too much since that's also kind of Lilia-

Silver is more of a listener than a speaker; he feels as if he doesn't have that many interesting stories to share, preferring to listen to you ramble on and on of the many stories you share with him.

Sometimes when he listens, he lays his head on your thighs as you kneel, he slowly closes his eyes with each stories you share. Not because he grows bored of them, but because he wants to dream about it, as you gently stroke his hair and wish him sweet dreams.

Your kindness of helping Silver catch up with schoolwork, making Sebek somewhat get along with him more, and generally taking care of him makes him feel really happy.

He wonders if you ever grow bored of him, since he feels like he's got nothing interesting. You told him with that signature smile of yours. "Your day experience is always something I look forward to hear." <3

Sebek Vigvolt

It's funny, really.

You're relatively a calm person, and Sebek is, well, Sebek. Really loud and uptight. The type of energy you two resonate is a nice, perfect blend of couple energy. What is contrast with each other, can somehow make the picture look aesthetic, and that's what you two make.

Truthfully, Sebek has found you peculiar and sceptical of course. He puts his guard up in front of you, thinking you're someone trying to do something bad to Malleus.

You smile at him, greeting him politely and sharing about your day and a book you've read which leave the boy baffled. He's.... confused..? But also quite curious about the books you've read without realising it, before reality slaps him across the face and he scolds himself for getting distracted.

But as time goes on, he finds himself peering over your shoulder looking at your book as you share to him about it. Sebek hates to admit it, but he finds your stories so interesting, and he instantly melts when you offer him kindness. Not just to him, but for Malleus and Lilia as well.

"I can trust you, BUT DON'T THINK I WOULD PUT MY GUARD DOWN S/O!!" You giggled. "Of course, of course! I expected much of your diligent self!" Your smile made him blush in embarrassment, oblivious to the watchful eyes of the ruby eyed and emerald eyed faes.

"Ah, young love~" <3

[spencersawkward]

omg I’m so excited you’re on here and taking requests!! do you think you could do something like baby Spence losing his virginity to a close friend & it’s like adorable, goofy, fluffy smut bc he cannot get over the fact that he’s actually having sex with someone

I’VE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-- TURN IT UP!!!

on a serious note, i'm so glad you asked for this one bc i really wanna add a scene like this in the fic i'm working on rn. i'm v excited.

summary: when the secret of Spencer's virginity gets accidentally spilled in front of the whole team, reader goes to check on him.

word count: 5.6k

relationship: Fem!Reader/Spencer Reid

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, fluff.

masterlist

hanging out with the team is easily the best part of the week. after spending days in Arizona with our focus entirely on the most recent case, my mind is practically ready to snap. I feel like I've been running on fumes, and when Penelope suggested we take the evening to hit our favorite bar, I was practically already out the door.

so now I'm sandwiched between JJ and Emily as we throw back our first shots of the night. my skin is already flushed with the elation of laughter, the pleasant thrum of conversation that surrounds us.

"that's bitter." JJ makes a face when she slams the empty glass on the table. I screw up my nose.

"why did we pick vodka?" I hate vodka.

"it gets the job done." Emily laughs. I shudder at the aftertaste that sits on my tongue.

Morgan wanders over, Pen on his arm while she totes a brightly colored pink alcohol. they're flirting as usual, but she pauses in her witticisms to grab my arm.

"we're playing truth or shot in that booth over there." she says to me, then gets the attention of the other two women. I let out a disbelieving laugh.

"truth or shot? like truth or dare but without the dare?"

"Reid, is that you?" Morgan says sarcastically. I slug him in the arm with a pout.

"be nice." but I'm giggling. he loops his arm through mine and we head back to the table, Penelope already starting a new conversation with JJ and Prentiss as they follow. Spencer is sitting in the booth with an Arnold Palmer, sipping from the straw like it's his job. I slide into the spot next to him.

"hi, you." I smile. "I haven't seen you at all tonight."

he holds up his glass. "I don't really drink."

"that's fine," I wave it off. "I just meant I wanted to hang out with you."

"oh." he smiles a little. "sorry."

"no big deal. you're here now." I shrug and turn to Pen as she calls my name.

"I'm gonna order a bottle. that okay?" she points to the bar with a mischievous smile. glancing once at Spencer and his slightly awkward position between Morgan and me, I make a snap decision.

"you know what? I think I'll just have a lemonade."

"you sure? Jayge said you spent the whole plane ride back talking about getting wasted--" Penelope's words cause a blush to spread over my face. I cut her off.

"I'm sure. thanks, Penny."

she nods. "of course, sweet cheeks."

I focus back on Reid, who is looking at me gratefully. he would never say it out loud, but I know he feels a little out-of-place sometimes. it's hard enough for him to come out with us to bars; the least I can do is be a sober friend. I open my mouth to start a conversation about an article I read the other day when Prentiss speaks.

"okay, so... who's ready?" her voice, always so certain, carries over the table. all of us make enthusiastic noises of assent, and she grins as Penelope returns with an armful of glasses. Derek gets up to grab the actual alcohol, and then when we're all settled in, the game begins.

"the rules are simple: you tell the truth, or you drink!" the tech analyst explains. the stakes for Spencer and me are lower, but that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to hear the team divulge their secrets.

"I'll start." Prentiss doesn't even hesitate before she looks at Morgan. "Derek, are you still sleeping with that one woman from sex crimes?"

Morgan raises his eyebrows at the question, irises flitting between Emily and the rim of his drink. there's a slight smirk on his face; he knows what a player he is and he's okay with flaunting it.

"Ally? no." he sighs. "things didn't end well between us."

"what? why?" I ask, eyes widening before I look around at everyone. "who is this woman?"

"cool your jets, sparky." Morgan teases me. "only one question per round."

"I'll tell you later." Prentiss raises her drink in my direction and winks.

"uh, no no." Morgan attempts to stop her, but JJ interrupts him.

"speaking of things not ending well," she says loudly. "Pen, why did you and Sam break up?"

"well," Penelope sticks her tongue between her teeth as she thinks it over with a devilish smile. her lips are a ruby red tonight, bright against her pale skin and big eyes. "to be completely honest, he just wasn't... doin' it for me. you know?"

"like--?" Emily glances down at her lap. Pen nods quickly and I snicker. JJ looks awestruck.

"I thought it was going so well."

"it was, but..." Penelope seems to genuinely think this over before she speaks. "if it's right, it just clicks. and it never clicked with Sam."

"profound." I compliment, high-fiving the high-energy blonde. we giggle before she turns to me with a glint in her eye.

"oh, do I have a plan for you," she smirks. "tell me, Y/N: if you had to sleep with one person on our team, who would it be?"

"women included?" I clarify, my cheeks suddenly on fire. how come everyone got easy questions except for me? I'm really just biding time.

"of course." she nudges my shoulder. I mull this over for a minute. I could say the truth, but I don't think that would be the right thing to do. however ironic that is. given the situation, I do something which I have never been good at and which I don't enjoy doing: I lie.

"although all of you are catches," I preface. "I think I would probably pick Emily."

Prentiss almost chokes on her own spit as her head snaps to see my face.

"me?" she asks.

"low-pressure fun." I shrug, the stress of the moment rolling off my shoulders with the ensuing laughter of my team members. Spencer takes a sip of his drink and peeks at me from his spot before I focus my attention to JJ.

we go on like this for a while, our original plan of "truth or drink" really just turning into a game of "truth and drink." as our laughter gets progressively louder, our questions and answers get progressively more provocative. we get into risky territory towards the fourth round, and I can practically feel Spencer's discomfort radiating off of him. thank god everyone has been taking it easier on him with their questions.

that is, until Morgan hits about five shots and decides to throw him to the wolves.

"so, Reid," he asks. there's no malice in his tone and I'm sure he's not meaning to embarrass the boy genius, but the question makes me wince anyways. "have we made any progress on the virginity front?"

it's like a fucking pall over the table. Reid goes rigid in his spot, and JJ's protective eyes dart between him and Morgan. Penelope's jaw drops.

"wait, Reid, you're a--?" her voice is tender, not judgmental, but Spencer's cheeks turn pink and he looks at Derek with a hurt expression.

"not cool." he says, body shifting in my direction. his eyes communicate everything; without a word, I know what he wants. I scoot out of the booth, letting him slip by me to walk outside.

truly, I'm speechless. we all stare at his lanky frame push through the door, but nobody talks until at least fifteen seconds pass.

"what the hell was that, Morgan?" JJ asks.

"I thought everyone knew--" he throws his hands up. "I swear I wouldn't have said anything if--"

"why would everyone know that?" I feel myself get angry for Spencer's sake. "that's an incredibly personal thing, especially to him."

"that wasn't you, my love." Penelope's voice is soft, sobered by the incident that just occurred. the playful air at the table is officially ruined, and we keep glancing at the doorway like Reid will come back in and everything will be fine. he doesn't.

"I'm gonna go apologize." Morgan starts to get up, seemingly beginning to realize the weight of his words. it's one thing to ask about Reid's sex life in general; it's another to point out specifically the entire absence of it. Spencer doesn't seem to be bothered by most things, but this is different. my heart hurts.

we watch Morgan go, the women all looking at each other with worried expressions.

"I feel bad." Penelope says.

"y'know, Spence never told me that." JJ observes.

"he really trusts Morgan." Prentiss says what we're all thinking. Morgan has always been like a big brother to him, and being embarrassed in front of your co-workers like that can't be a pleasant feeling.

we sit in a relative silence for about five minutes until Morgan walks back into the bar. he pulls out his wallet and pays for the drinks, then walks over to us.

"I'm gonna go for a walk. do you need me to call you all cabs?" he asks. those dramatic brows are drawn low over his face, emphasizing his regret. I look between my friends and clear my throat.

"it's okay. I only had one shot about an hour and a half ago. I can drive everyone home."

"okay," Morgan sighs, his head turning briefly to the door before focusing back on us. "drive safe, ladies."

and then he's gone.

"you guys ready?" I start to shrug my jacket on. they all nod and we get ready to go.

...

sitting in my apartment later that night, my head is swimming. even though it's none of my business what happens in Spencer's sex life, I wish I could tell him that it's okay. nobody cares at all if he's a virgin or not. but I know it's still embarrassing.

I hate that I lied earlier tonight, too. I wanted to say Spencer's name when they asked who I wanted, because I meant it. we're close, and I will always love him as a friend. but I've also always wanted more.

nobody, not even any of the other BAU women, know about my crush. I didn't want it to get in the way, or for it to come out and ruin my friendship with Reid. he doesn't like me like that, and that's fine, but what's not fine is not having him as my friend.

he was the first person I really connected with when I came here, and I feel a little protective over him, too.

once the clock hits eleven, I consider calling. he’s definitely not asleep yet. Spencer is a night owl. normally at this time he'd be curled up with a huge book, reading impossibly fast.

when he picks up on the third ring, the air leaves my lungs.

"Y/N?" he asks, more surprised than anything else.

"hey, Spence--" I hesitate, suddenly not sure what to say. sorry Morgan told everyone you're a fucking virgin? “do you wanna come over?"

maybe if I see him face-to-face, I'll be able to collect my thoughts better. the words hang in the air, festering over the line until I'm just about to take them back, before he replies.

"y-yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

my hands are shaking at my side when I open the door for the tall genius. he's still wearing his outfit from earlier, hair slicked back like normal. I've settled for my usual sweatpants and t-shirt winning combo. it's not like he cares.

"hey." I smile, trying to read his micro expressions. there are two possible outcomes here, knowing him: either he's going to be totally, completely over it, or he'll be able to write a War-and-Peace-length book on why he's upset.

"hi." he gives a wan smile and I let him into my apartment, closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch.

"I missed this place." he says absently, looking around at the mess of decor and case files. I snort as I recall the last time he was here. he wanted to borrow a book that I had, and we ended up watching an entire docu-series about homing pigeons. it was surprisingly interesting; mostly because his commentary is both informative and funny.

"it missed you." I anthropomorphize my living space, but the phrase hangs heavy. I'm worried about him. I'm always worried about Spencer. he turns to look at me, opening his mouth to say something. I brush past him and walk into the kitchen. "coffee?"

"sure." he follows me like a lost puppy, leaning against the counter while I pull out two mugs and get to work.

"hey," I pause for a moment to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-- about what happened... tonight."

"oh, that?" he scoffs, waves it off unconvincingly. "it's fine."

I raise my brows the slightest bit, never breaking eye contact. he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to talk about it. he cracks easily.

"it's just embarrassing, you know?" he says, staring out my kitchen window to alleviate his own nerves. I gesture for him to follow me back into the living room and I sit down criss-cross applesauce on the couch. he mirrors me, kicking off those cute black Converse.

"I don't think the fact itself is embarrassing, but I totally get why it feels that way. he shouldn't have said anything." I nod.

"like, that's personal. a-and--" he hesitates a moment, gesticulating wildly now. "and it's not like he's got any right! at least I don't go around with so many girls that I forget their names."

the thought of Reid sleeping with that many women is a little bit funny, but it also makes my stomach twist with jealousy.

"did he apologize?"

"yeah, he did. and he was drunk, I know." he rolls his eyes. "I'm overreacting."

"no, really, you're not." without thinking, I scoot closer to him and place my hand over his, which is sitting on his knee. I remember that Spencer is usually pretty averse to touch, but when I move it back to my lap, he seems a little disappointed. I wonder if he gets lonely.

"is it weird?" the question sounds raw, like he's mustering a lot to hear my response. I shake my head immediately.

"well, for one, Spence, I would never judge anyone based on their sex life, period." I chuckle. "and two, no way! if you aren't into having sex at this point in your life-- or ever-- that's totally your choice and you're entitled to it."

his eyes meet mine, pools of honeyed hazel that swim with a slightly amber shade. his face is so pretty, it's sometimes unbelievable to me that he doesn't get more action. bone structure that would make a sculpture envious.

"that's the thing," he licks his lips nervously before averting his gaze again. "I am interested-- I just don't-- well, I don't--"

"don't have someone to do it with?" I suggest with a slight smile. he nods, then clarifies.

"girls don't really seem to be interested in me."

I let out a laugh, unable to contain myself. his head jerks up to frown in confusion. I’m quick to amend myself.

"Spence, that's not true at all. you're such a catch! you're sweet and funny and way smarter than anyone I know. not to mention that you're adorable." I compliment, letting some of the thoughts I've been keeping to myself bubble to the surface. "any girl would be beyond lucky to be with you, sexually or not." Spencer blushes at my words, but the squirming in his spot tells me that it makes him feel warm inside. he smiles a little.

"you think?" it's genuine. he appreciates being praised, and it makes my heart flutter when he gives me that expression like I've made his night.

"I know." more of what I want to say rolls around my mind, unsure of whether or not I should admit it. but I think that right now, it'll only serve to make him feel better. "actually, I should tell you something."

"what?" he's curious now.

"when we were at the bar and Penelope asked who I'd be with... on the team... I lied."

"okay." he nods, somehow not connecting the dots. I guess it doesn't matter if they've got enormous IQs; boys are still clueless.

"I was gonna say you." the truth presses from the inside out, lifting a weight off my chest now that it's out there. even if he doesn't return that feeling, I'm suddenly glad that I told him.

"me?" he gestures to his narrow chest. I nod.

"yeah. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or embarrass you in front of our friends." I explain. he breaks into a grin.

"thanks." like I've given him something. I feel myself smiling as well, and then we're just looking at each other. tension that neither of us is willing to break. as much as I'd like to take him right here right now, he hasn't said anything about actually having sex or even about being attracted to me. for all I know, he could be completely indifferent.

"listen, Spence--"

"would you be willing to--" we speak at the same time, both of us stopping and laughing awkwardly.

"sorry, you go first." I offer, and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"would you want to... um..." he scratches the back of his neck before his eyes meet mine. "try it?"

"sex?" I raise my eyebrows. he nods. I try to find the right response. that’s more assertive than I expected. my pulse is fast, daring me to tell the truth. "I mean-- yes, I would love to-- but are you sure you want it to be with me, Spence? what about a girl that you like?"

"you are a girl that I like." he says this like it's matter-of-fact, like it's obvious. my heart stops in my chest before it starts to hammer.

"really?" a smile makes its way onto my face.

"I thought you knew."

"no." I laugh. my chest is full of sunlight.

"well, you are."

there's a brief silence where I try to get myself back on track. he likes me, too.

"are you sure you want to do this?" I glance at the space between our bodies, which has grown steadily smaller over the course of our conversation. Spencer is watching my every move with an intensity that tells me he's nervous.

"yes." he's unwavering.

"okay, well, you've kissed girls, right?" I inch closer. he nods.

"one."

"oh, Spencer," I sigh contentedly. "I have so much to teach you."

right after I say this, Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. it's only then that I notice his hand covering his lap, the erection that's forming beneath his pants. my eyes flick up to his hungrily.

"sorry." he apologizes.

"don't be." our faces are inches apart and he's practically holding his breath. "I'm gonna kiss you. is that okay?"

"yes." he replies immediately. I place my hands gently on the side of his face, admiring the softness and sharpness of his jaw when I pull him to me, kissing him with a suppressed desire. his mouth is soft against mine, a little anxious to move. after a moment, he starts to relax.

his lips part and I deepen our contact, tilting my head and keeping it mostly mild at first. I don't want to shove my tongue down his throat. our knees are touching and his hand hesitantly finds my waist, the other going to run through my hair. I sigh into him, his fingertips a new sensation that I adore.

Spencer begins to give in a bit more to himself, asserting himself in the kiss and slipping his tongue over my bottom lip. I almost laugh at how quickly he gets the hang of it. he reads my body language effortlessly, not even skipping a beat when I climb into his lap and lace my arms around his neck.

"is this okay?" I pull away momentarily. he nods.

"you're so pretty." an unrelated response, but appreciated nonetheless. I laugh and peck his nose.

"thanks." and then we're back to making out, his hands resting on the small of my back. it's nice. I could stay like this forever, just pressed against Spencer while my fingers thread through his soft hair. he's cautious with me, and it's innocent.

I can feel his boner, can feel from the eagerness of his kisses that he's trying not to bring up the fact that he's literally just throbbing in his pants right now. in order to give him a little of what he wants, I start to rock my hips against his.

Spencer whimpers into my mouth. I stop and look down at him.

"do you want me to stop?"

"no, god, no— never stop." he's mindless in his reply, already grabbing my hips greedily and trying to regain that friction. I shake my head with a chuckle, then resume my actions. he starts to rut up against me, groaning into our embrace while his hands get more adventurous.

I withdraw, breaking the kiss to straighten up. he doesn't stop the microscopic pushes of his hips. I bite back a smile, enjoying the friction, too.

"do you wanna take my clothes off, Spence?" I ask softly.

"y-yes." he replies, gingerly taking the hem of my top and beginning to lift it over my head. when he places it on the couch beside me, his eyes immediately fall to my bra. slender fingers run up my bare waist, his watch glinting in the candlelight. when he doesn't immediately reach to unclasp my bra, I grab his wrist and guide it to the clasps myself. he moves with a surprising ease, unsnapping the thing and grazing over my skin as he slides the straps down my shoulders. I can tell that he’s shaking a tad, but it doesn’t hinder him.

the second that he's discarded the lingerie, he looks up at me with moony eyes.

"can I... kiss you?" he looks at my bare chest. "here?"

"of course, Spence." I nod. he presses his lips to the space between my ribs, drags them up to the valley between my breasts. lingers, then attaches himself to one of my nipples. I sigh, throwing my head back at the way he moves intuitively, sucking and running his tongue over the peak. he squeezes the other breast, plays with the nipple and starts to acquaint himself with the curves of my body.

the whole time, he's straining against my core, rutting helplessly in pleasure. it feels heavenly, with that sweet face of his so devoted to making me feel good, that I nearly stray from the purpose of the experience.

"Spencer..." I breathe. he moans at the sound of his name, then looks up at me from his place sucking on my tits. his teeth graze of my skin and I buck into his lap, causing him to groan appreciatively. my fingers tangle in his soft hair.

"Y/N," he pulls away from my chest, his lips making a soft popping sound. I gaze down at him, a bit lost in the fantasies running through my head. he's a natural. "can we, um-- like, expedite this process a little?"

"expedite the process?” I repeat back to him, giggling at his formality.

"what?" his voice goes up an octave, but he's smiling. "you know what I mean."

"I really do." I lean down, pressing my thumb into his jaw and angling his face up to mine to kiss. while his hands curiously move over my body, I start to push down the waistband of my sweatpants. I break contact just for a moment to peel them off, and he releases a quiet whine. it's cute.

"come back." he says softly, watching as I slide the bottoms down my legs, leaving me in my panties.

"I'm back." I peck his cheek, climb into his lap again. "can we take off your clothes, too?"

"mhmm." he nods. his lips part when my fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a torturous slowness. I can feel his eyes on my face the whole time.

"what?" I chuckle, peeking up at him for a moment before I pull his shirt open and run my palms up his chest, over his shoulders. he nearly shudders at the sheer touch.

"I just can't believe this is actually happening." he smiles in that way of his, like he's suppressing the depth of his emotions, with his brows slightly raised. I take the opportunity to enjoy the sight of him before me, his rapidly rising and falling chest, the smoothness of his skin.

"honestly?" I start to unbutton his pants, and he jerks up into my hand, blushing once he realizes the earnestness of his actions. I smirk encouragingly. "me, neither."

before I pull down his boxers, my eyes flick to his. "is this still okay?"

"Y/N," he groans. "if you don't do something, I'm gonna cum too early." he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment when my hand moves over his clothed erection, like he's holding on. "please."

"sorry." I release him from the confines. it hits his stomach and he waits for my reaction, as if he's afraid that I'll change my mind right now. but I'm definitely not going to. "holy fuck, Spencer."

"what?" he panics slightly, sitting up more. "is it not enough?"

"not enou--" I stutter, almost laugh. "no, it's plenty. I had no idea..."

"oh." he hides the pleased smile on his face, blush spreading over his pretty throat. in the interest of "expediting the process," I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and gently pump him.

Spencer's stomach tenses and he grabs onto the cushion of the couch with a tight fist, sighing.

"mmm..." he doesn't try to word his emotions, but I know. and I like that I'm making him feel this way, sharing this experience. Spencer and I are such close friends, I never thought we'd actually have sex. my assumption was that I'd watch him grow into himself, find a nice girl and treat her like a queen.

but here I am, spitting into my hand before jerking him off to prepare for what’s next. he’s throbbing, sounds coming from his throat.

"I'm gonna sit on it, okay?" I lean down to whisper in his ear. he touches my waist, my neck, kisses a random spot on my chest in the waves of pleasure that I'm giving him.

"o-okay." he mumbles, waiting for me to actually do it. and there's a moment of tense anticipation between both of us, when I sit up and pull my panties to the side. Spencer watches like I'm the only thing in the world, saving the memory of my body on top of his for later.

I run the head of his cock along my entrance, soaking him in the wetness between my thighs. I didn't realize how turned on I'd already gotten, and he lets out a quiet whine when he feels the evidence of how much I want him.

our eyes lock when I sink down. it's a new feeling for him, and the shape of his member as it stretches my walls causes me to bite my lip to withhold moaning too loudly. he whimpers, neck tensing and fingertips digging into my hips.

"o-oh." he sucks in a breath as I reach the halfway point. he's so big, I have to go slow in order not to overwhelm myself. but it feels good, too. like... unbelievably good. I grip onto his shoulders and my head falls forward into his shoulder.

"Spencer, holy shit." I moan.

"does it feel nice?" he asks, concerned for my own pleasure. I feel my chest flutter at the thoughtfulness of the boy wonder even when he's in the midst of losing his virginity, and I lower myself onto the rest of him.

"mhmm," I rest for a moment. "how do you feel?"

"like--" his breath hitches when I begin to rock back and forth on him. "like I've been missing out."

I can't help the giggle that slips past my lips, but then it quickly turns into a longing moan when he starts to thrust up into me like a helpless thing. Spencer is brilliant, but his brain cells go out the window when he throws his head back and begs me to move more.

I nod, raising and lowering myself until we reach a special pace. it's not fast or slow, just the two of us trying to stay in the moment while we hold on tightly to each other. I can feel the cool metal of his watch when he splays his hand out over my spine, the warmth of his breath while he pants against my shoulder.

he hits my g-spot over and over. my moans are torn from my throat by the burning of my lungs. it's like I can't breathe because I'm so focused on chasing the orgasm building in my stomach. and Spencer... I can tell he's almost finished.

the erratic nature of his jerking body tells me.

"I'm gonna cum..." he moans into my neck. "do- do you want me to pull out?"

"no." I arch my back and throw myself into the friction of our bodies. he stares up at me while I ride him, the merciless grinding of my hips because I just can't help myself. "oh my god, Spencer."

he notices how close I am and, in a surprisingly deft move, slides two fingers over my pussy to find my clit. the ensuing noise from me tells him that he's found it, and he begins to rub in quick circles. it's rough and hard, but that's exactly what I need right now.

"cum for me, Spence." I breathe. his free hand grips onto my thigh and pulls me over him, his own words unintelligible within the sounds of absolute pleasure.

"please." he begs for something I don't know, spills his seed inside of my pussy and holds onto me like I'm an anchor to this world while he peers into the next. the feeling of him spreading through my stomach, along with the reckless movements of his limbs and the way he looks at me while he rides out his orgasm, sends me over the edge.

"oh my fuck!" I collapse, grabbing his shoulders tightly and rolling myself down while he removes his fingers from my body. it's jarring, the intensity, like my normal functions can't respond correctly. all I can process is the tightening of my stomach, the pleasure between my legs, vision going slightly fuzzy at the edges. he moans when my cunt flutters around him, the muscles trying desperately to hold him here with me forever. I take deep breaths and slow down, my forehead dropping again while I start to remember my own name.

neither of us speaks. I think I'm still too in shock about what just happened, but in the best way. he keeps running his hands over my skin, then wraps his arms around my torso so that I'm pulled against his chest. I smile, kissing his ear before I finally break the silence.

"hi."

"hi." he's got a satisfied tone.

"do you need anything? water?" I ask, exhausted but realizing that this is still new for Spencer and it's my job to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. he nuzzles his nose into my clavicle and squeezes me tighter.

"stay here with me." there's a slight edge to his words. he's afraid of me leaving. I snuggle down, perfectly happy to remain. heat radiates from his skin, and I like the way it feels.

"of course."

we linger in each other’s arms, both of us coming back into the real world and holding on in an attempt to soften the blow. I just had sex with Spencer.

"thank you." he whispers into my hair.

"for what?" the smile on my face is lazy.

"for doing this."

"well, I really wanted to." I laugh. "so, I guess, thank you, too."

"you're quite welcome." his response is cheerful and then we're both laughing, the sound rumbling from his chest. "can we do it again at some point?"

"I would be happy to." I beam. the contented sigh that leaves his lips, followed by a slight sinking of our bodies down the couch in collective exhaustion, fills me with a joy that's quiet but obvious.

“I’ll last longer next time, I promise.” he says. I can practically hear the blush in his cheeks.

“you did amazing, Spence. don’t worry about it.” I press a few stray kisses to him.

I'll need to go clean up, soon, but it can wait a few more minutes. this is my favorite place on earth.

[celeste-clearwater-06]

hello. it is i. so! i was wondering if you could do a little ditty abt nail polish with the company and/or the fellowship? basically like modern girl in middle earth type stuff, and she realizes that she has nail polish on her which is something they totally don't have in middle earth. basically headcanons abt like how they would react to painted nails and which one of these mfs would let me paint their nails. cuz like - they dont know its just a "fem" thing here so no toxic masculinity. ty <3

OMFG I'M SO HYPED FOR THIS! I just picked a few random Tolkien characters that seem to have a lot of attention, so I hope you like this!!

Nail Polish (LOTR/THE HOBBIT X READER)

Frodo~

I feel like Frodo would be very skeptical at first

Because, come on, a girl falling into Middle Earth out of nowhere??

However, his interest is certainly peaked, seeing you twist the brush away from it's blue colored bottle as you smile down at it

"What's that, you've got there?"

"Oh, just some nail polish!"

He watches with curiosity as you perfectly decorate your nails with the periwinkle color

"How interesting..."

He may not want to have his nails painted at first, but has this deep fascination with how perfectly you can paint them without screwing up

Soon, he forgets all about the ring as you paint your nails, sitting cross-legged and starting with those huge blue eyes with interest

If he allows you to paint his nails, he would smile the whole time

I mean HIS TINY HANDS?!?!

What a bean 🥺

Tries his best not to chip the color when he leaves for Mordor with Sam

Gollum is actually really interested with his nails

"whAT IS IT prECI0us?!?1!1?"

But Frodo will swat his hands away, because "it's a gift from someone important."

The one thing that keeps him smiling along the way 😊

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Legolas

Elf prince is so interested!!

He thinks the spring green color looks so pretty in the bottle

He's obviously not used to most thing from your world

Asks politely;

"How do you use this?"

"...can I show you?"

So whenever the Fellowship stops for the night, he watches with amusement as your brows furrow and you stick your tongue out in concentration

Legolas sits very still, so it's easy for you to paint his nails

How does he keep them so clean?!

He's low-key obsessed with how satisfying it is...

wAIT...

Now HE wants to paint YOUR nails?

THE PRECISION...

He's so good at it!

Legolas is so patient and calm

He says it reminded him of making flower crowns I guess?

And he doesn't even mess up once 😳

THE MASTER NEEDS TEACHING, DAYUM-

He gets so happy with how the color matches him!

Forgets that you have to let it dry at first, so it gets a bit smudged when he draws his bow

Upset Legolas :(

But you fix it for him, and he's happy again!

CAN

NOT

STOP

LOOKING

He's amazed!!

And so proud!

Pretty Elf 🥰✨

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Pippin

Pippin is very confused, to say the least

He though it would be something relatively close to a nail filer

But once he sees the pastel yellow color, on your own fingers, he has to have some!!

WILL

NOT

SIT

STILL

While you're trying to paint his hands and feet (by request), he's telling you great tales of the shire, a throwing his limbs around to exaggerate his story

You've to clonked him on the head and scolded him quite a few times

For some reason, he's saying it tickles??

"It does! The brush is like feather!"

Painting his toes it a lot easier, seeing he can't really feel much on his feet

The color goes perfect with his green eyes 🥴

Also, let's not forget that Pip is the definition of "disaster-on-legs"

After the polish dries, it immediately chips, since he's busy causing trouble with merry or practicing his hand with Boromir

He really wants to paint your nails, and you let him do so...

Poor hobbit has zero clue with how this shit works 🤦‍♀️

He feels so bad about getting it all over your fingers, but you assure him it'll be fine and that it will eventually wash off in a few days

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Boromir

HE WANTS TO USE IT RIGHT AWAY-

Pink, as cliche as it sounds, suits him so well

He's just amazed!

Also, really likes the smell 🤔🤔

Is grinning like an idiot while you're painting his nails

"Such talent and patience you have!"

"Pfft, it's really nothing. Takes a bit of practice is all."

Afterward, is flashing his bright pink nails at everyone

"Look at Y/N's spectacular skill of hand!"

I think Boromir would have a habit of picking at the polish after it dries

But that's okay, he doesn't mind too much

It gives him more time to spend with you while you repaint them!!

He's afraid he'll screw up your nails if he tries to paint them, so he never offers

That's alright though, since you know he only means well 😊

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Thorin

Oh he's so regal

You were in Rivendell, digging through your purse, and suddenly

Tada!!

A deep navy blue bottle, probably about half empty was revealed

He was curious, but tried not to let it show, since that would damage his royal ego 🙄

"What is that?"

"Oh, just some nail polish. Wanna try some?"

Thorin would insist that you show him how it works first

And so, you did

He definitely admires the color

But defied any suggestion of you painting his own nails

That would be "un-kingly" 😤

Okay so maybe he lets you paint his pinky finger when nobody is around

But he smiles (a rare sight) while watching you paint your nails

And does give a somewhat compliment at your articulate handwork

"It looks exceptional as artwork."

"Erm... Thanks?"

He definitely thinks the color matches you beautiful skin tone 😌

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Kili ~

Prince Dumbass LOVES red

It reminds him of Tauriel 🥰

One night, you left your bag opened on the ground as you went off to get some food from Bombur, and Kili couldn't help but notice the glittering ruby bottle inside

He grabbed it, being the nosy prince he was, and examined its glow in the firelight

"What kind of jewel is this?"

"Oh hey, my nail polish!!"

Very confused

"Why does it smell so strange?"

Thankfully, being a dwarf, his fingernails are a bit bigger, so there's more room and it's easier to paint

He, like Pippin, has issues with sitting still and gets you really annoyed

"I swear to all things fluffy, if you don't sit still I will cut off all of that hair in your sleep-"

"😳"

He immediately smudges them, and then you have to paint them AGAIN

Once they FINALLY dry, he won't let anyone touch them

"Stop it, Fili! You'll damage them!"

He can't stop touching them, since it's so smooth!

The others tease him, but he doesn't mind, as long as they stay nice and clean

Turns into a whiny toddler the MINUTE they chip

"Y/nnn! I need you to repaint them!"

"I just painted them yESTERDAY-"

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Fili

A mix of Thorin and Kili when it comes down to it

Definitely prefers gold 😌✨

Sees you painting your nails one night in the library in Erebor

"What have you got there sagh (friend)?"

"Just some nail polish. Wanna try some?"

Once again, he wants to see what it does like Thorin

And you of course happily oblige

Admires the color greatly

He says it reminds him of the gold floors in his kingdom, and it makes you chuckle

Fili loves to have his nails painted, and especially with such a regal hue 💅😌

DAMN does it bring out those baby blues 🥴

After that, you stare at his hands a lot, proceeded by his flirtatious teasing

Shows up Kili's sparkly red polish with his "more extravagant" color

He is also very protective of his nails and tries his very best to keep them from chipping

You love watching him hold his weapons and spar with his pretty nails 😳

Even with his larger hands, made for forging and wielding huge swords and axes and smelting, he had an incredibly steady and gentle hand when it comes to this subject, so he's AMAZING at painting his and your nails

Fili insists that you have matching nails all the time, and it's a regular thing for you to hang out and talk about your day while you paint each others nails 🥺

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Thranduil

Have you MET this man?!

KING OF DIVAS 💅💅

At first, he's very weirded out

"What do you have in your hand, mellon (friend)?"

"Oh, just some nail polish."

"Interesting..."

Thranduil watches intently over your shoulder as you carefully decorate your nails with a glossy black polish, sitting directly next to his throne

"Do you want me to paint your nails?"

"Hm?"

He reluctantly agrees, placing his BEAUTIFUL hand in yours and stares down at your gentle talented work

He loves the color more than he cares to admit, and much like his son sits very still as you lead the brush over his clean nails

The elf king loves seeing your tongue stick out in concentration

You remind him that it'll need time to dry out

And as he says in his notoriously sassy voice;

"I thousand years is a mere blink in the life of an elf... I'm patient... I can wait."

Ofc, you just scoff at this and tell him it'll only take about five to ten minutes

He just nods and stares back down at them with admiration

Thranduil doesn't do much around his kingdom, except maybe get a bit drunk and direct orders to his guards, so it's no worry about him chipping or ruining his nails

I hope you liked this, just as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Have a lovely day, and don't forget that requests are open as always!! ❤❤😊

[viscountessevie]

It makes me sad to see how on CC’s last post so much of the Bridgerton cast were commenting and sharing like Kathryn, Florence, Ruby commented and even reposted her post, Shelley Jonny CVD, JQ, and a bunch of the crew. But on Simone’s most recent post only Jonny commented. It makes me sad to think she was even a bit isolated on that cast. Also C gets hyped up from Hollywood Indians and not just on her desi posts but they’re silent for Simone-these are the people that should have her back

Hey anon, thanks for waiting! It's been an exciting weekend but also a lot of incredibly heavy stuff has come up and I realised I was pretty mentally exhausted. I still am to be honest so I apologise for not delivering on my usual essays and am going to keep this fairly shorter than my usual asks!

So first off I want to direct you to this post of mine because it's the same tone I want to take with this ask. That I hear you and its okay to be upset. It really does seem unfair.

That being said, I have said time and time again I really do not like pitting these two women. [Ik you aren't doing that anon but just constantly comparing them can get tiring and like you said its sad to see!]

Yes, while I disagree with CC's Bridgerton opinions and how she has conducted herself on her solo press tour, I still do enjoy her as an actress and am looking forward to her next project! However, since her Bridgerton press has made me uncomfortable and view her in a less than great light *to me*, I have created a boundary not to engage in any of her press tours or interviews in the future. And hopefully no one will send me asks about it anymore because the interviews won't be for Bridgerton!

Anyways all that said, and while we are talking about personal boundaries with yourself: my advice to everyone who does keep checking these things (which I understand can be addictive and you want to see our girl supported but not at the expense of your own mental health!) is to set that boundary not to check. I never check these things, hell I don't even read or watch press and my peace of mind has been better for it! The only time I hear about this is from anons on here or, one or two friends who happen to notice these things sometimes.

If you all choose to do this, great I'm happy for you to have more peace of mind in an already chaotic fandom with drama every day ahahah. Now, its time to reflect on how this behaviour from the cast is not on us or Simone. It's a reflection of the cast and it's their own damn problem. It's none of our business and they're just showing themselves, to be honest. [We can't even use the algorithm excuse to brush them off anymore, it takes less than 5 seconds to search up Simone's name and drop a like/comment. But whatever, their devices, their choices. I do not care anymore.]

We LOVE our girl, like/comment on her IG and hype her up enough and she knows and sees all of them. I think we can also take comfort in the fact that Simone probably does not care for these things (who in the cast is commenting or liking) and knows her worth so we shouldn't care too imo! We get back a lot of our power and control over how we feel when we just choose not to care honestly.

All that matters is our favourite IG grandpa got so excited he commented twice on our ViscountYES's post!!

[primrose-path-of-dalliance]

psa: trent ikithon is not as competent and powerful as he makes himself seem.

(cw: discussion of abuse)

.

.

i'm not sure how to get into this in a way that's natural, so i hope you don't mind if i go for the straightforward route.

trent ikithon is an abuser. that means his tactics all center around—and rely upon—making vulnerable people believe that he has far more power than he actually does. and when it comes to our pov, the m9's pov, ikithon is trying his damnedest to accomplish the same.

now, i don't know everything that's in matt mercer's head when he has played or characterized trent ikithon. i'm sure there's some depth to his motivations and intelligence, and i don't doubt that ikithon ideologically believes in strengthening the empire. but this is not relevant to the abuse tactics i want to discuss.

because the reality is this: abusers do what they do because they enjoy victimizing and controlling the vulnerable.

that's why you get abusers like archivist zeenoth who are attracted to positions of authority. those positions facilitate structural imbalances of power between them and their potential victims. trent ikithon, too, is doing the same thing—as an archmage of the cerberus assembly, he is exploiting the authority of his position to gain victims for abusing. he is not doing what he does because he's a brilliant mastermind focused on a goal. if he was, he wouldn't abuse his students.

think about it in terms of effectiveness. no matter what people like ikithon try to assert, his volstrucker are not in any way stronger or more capable from his 'tutelage'. caduceus clay roasted the man in his own dining room for this lie. what the volstrucker are are an organization of ruthless, skilled spies built from deeply abused and damaged people. they aren't healthy; they aren't stable. caleb widogast spent eleven years in a sanatorium because he was one of many recruits who broke under the abuse (see EGtW), and then five years as a solitary, paranoia-ridden mess in a filthy coat. he spent months trying not to self-sabotage his growing friendships and had a panic attack as soon as he left ophelia mardun's mansion in shadycreek (e27, 2:55:21). he has ptsd from using fire magic to burn people to death—considering his statement on executing traitors to the empire as a trainee (e18, 2:48:12), it was probably an everyday part of the job.

even the minority of volstrucker that do get through the training stage aren’t functioning well. only a few episodes ago, we watched astrid finish a conversation with caleb and then duck into an alleyway so she could curl up and have a five-minute breakdown before putting the composed mask back on (e126, 1:50:47). abuse makes being alive harder; good luck being a sustainable espionage program at that point.

so that's one lie. how about another?

at the dinner in ikithon's tower, ikithon implied that he has guided every step of caleb's path to recovery and ever-growing power. that caleb's plans to murder ikithon are exactly what he wants; that he even arranged his escape from the vergessen sanatorium (e110, 2:52:58).

i think enough people have recognized that ikithon's first claim is utter bullshit, considering that caleb and the m9 had just arrived from a random island on which they hosted a cult gathering festooned with phalluses. but the implication that he arranged for caleb's escape from the sanatorium was just that: an implication. he never says outright that he did so. he only couched what he knew in gaslighting platitudes and handed over the holy symbol of the cleric that healed him. you won't sense a lie that hasn't been spoken. he let caleb and the m9 make their assumptions, and the assumption worked in his favor.

let's consider the actual circumstances of caleb's escape (e18, beginning 2:51:54). a fellow inmate of the sanatorium who was a cleric suddenly grabbed him and healed him of his madness before returning to her own ravings. caleb then pretended he was still insane for two weeks before killing a guard, stealing the amulet that kept him hidden, and fleeing. how would any of these events work in trent ikithon's favor? the number of absurd assumptions here are off the charts.

first, you would have to believe that a cleric could permanently heal a man who'd been insane and probably experimented on for eleven years.

second, you would have to assume that this man would still be competent enough to pass general scrutiny and break out.

third, you would have to believe that he'd totally survive on his own without any resources whatsoever,

after eleven years of being institutionalized,

while first beginning deep in the pearlbow wilderness—

all without raising the suspicion of this apparently still hypercompetent ex-patient that his escape was too easy.

and fourth, you would have to believe that this man would actually accomplish something in your interests instead of, say, dying or remaining a vagrant beggar forever.

if this was all on purpose, then trent ikithon is really an idiot.

another truth: caleb was not special. both liam and caleb have said so (talks for e88, beginning 28:00; & e110, 29:06), with the examples of other volstrucker supporting this. all of them are talented mages and good at spycraft! they have to be to graduate in the first place! ikithon's assertions that caleb was extra special (e110, 2:52:11)? also a lie—specifically, a great tactic for convincing a victim of abuse not to think about it further. of course they're being hurt again. of course they're being targeted again. not to mention how abusers selectively compliment in order to confuse the people they’re hurting (relevant here: e88, 3:28:25). caleb having an unhealthy amount of hubris and thus open to being diagnosed with protagonist disease doesn’t help.

ikithon would have easily deduced the details of what happened and obtained the holy symbol after an investigation of the break-out. not too hard to piece things together if you simply ask about unusual events prior to the escape and learn that he'd had an altercation with another patient two weeks ago—and oh yes, that patient used to be a blasphemous cleric.

caleb widogast basically reappeared next door healthier, much more powerful, and more capable than ever. ikithon doesn’t have control over caleb’s entire past and future—but he wants him to believe he does. it’s a gaslighting attempt to make caleb question his own accomplishments and attribute them to ikithon so that ikithon can regain some control over his ex-student.

another truth: trent ikithon is already on thin fucking ice. no one in the cerberus assembly likes each other, of course, but a consistent point was made again and again that everyone deeply dislikes ikithon. he's stayed because he made himself useful, but he could and would get taken care of should he be a detriment instead (see e88, 3:19:27; & e97, 3:19:32).

any sort of thorough investigation into the volstrucker and the vergessen sanatorium would reveal exactly how fragile all of his agents are and how frequently he fails in conditioning his recruits. ikithon gets the pick of the crop when it comes to nationalistic, talented students that enter the soltryce academy. to find out that he drives a significant number of them insane? well, that's a pure waste of unrealized potential. and for what—a program of spies who are paranoid enough and opportunistic enough to turn on each other if prodded the right way?

and now... trent ikithon, as part of the traitorous beacon research, has been under heavy investigation from two fronts: the augen trust and the cobalt soul (e125, 2:31:10). and he has been getting very nervous recently (e125, 2:41:42).

the final truth i want to point out: trent ikithon is just as control-obsessed as any other abuser. we got the most obvious example of this yet from e128—his pursuit of the m9 to nicodranas and tidepeak tower. think about the circumstances again.

he was apparently so curious and so annoyed by caleb rebuffing all of his attempts at ‘conversation’ that he made his excuses before teleporting directly to nicodranas,

through a circle implied to be arranged diplomatically between the empire and the clovis concord,

with a plan to break into the lavish chateau, one of the most high-profile locations of the city, to potentially kidnap or kill everyone,

including the famous and beloved ruby of the sea.

he then chased the m9 and their families to the equally high-profile tidepeak tower on the open quay, all of which is owned by yussa errenis, an archmage himself who’s learned far more about local politics than he ever wanted to know,

intimidated his “man”servant,

and broke in.

and they did all of this possibly with some very confused members of the zhelezo following right behind them.

other people have gone through the potential political consequences of this more thoroughly than me, so suffice to say that trent ikithon has gotten himself into some deep shit. you can’t negotiate or magic yourself out of being witnessed by hundreds of people breaking into the tower of an archmage who is infamous among the locals for being a bitchy recluse.

if he was smart, and clever, and a brilliant mastermind, he wouldn’t have done any of that. what he could have done: continue to handle caleb from an ominous distance through spells like sending. allege to the cerberus assembly and king dwendal that the break-in was an underhanded cobalt soul mission because of beauregard’s association with the m9. or just straight-up say that the m9 broke into his facilities because they have a vendetta against him and have them at least investigated the next time the empire can hold onto them for a second.

but he didn’t do any of those much more clever possibilities. he acted impulsively and rashly and may well be on the way to a lot of trouble now. all because ikithon just could not handle caleb being saucy.

with all this in mind, i want to go back to one last detail: astrid and eadwulf. because these two would suffer terrible consequences if they ran away—allegedly.

because i want to ask... what exactly could ikithon do to them?

they’ve already killed their own parents. so far, we’ve had no sign either that they have anyone else important to them in his reach besides each other. they have nothing tying themselves to him besides years of abuse and the crimes they’ve committed as volstrucker. they might want some power of their own, sure, perhaps they want to kill him while they’re still close. but we certainly know that eadwulf and astrid are not invested in the volstruckers as it stands. they doubt ikithon. and they already have their own amulets.

so what else could make them so terrified by the idea of leaving with the m9 except the way that trent ikithon has abused them and convinced them that he’s powerful enough and capable enough to catch up to them?

don’t be fooled. he hosted the most embarrassing excuse for a dining-with-the-enemy scene (seriously, i hope someone reading this cringed the entire time as well from all the long pauses and terrible topic transitions) and then teleported away to flee caduceus clay’s scalding tea. no retort, no blackmail. he acted recklessly in nicodranas and appropriately pushed two of his own volstrucker to betray him, losing his one opportunity to capture the m9′s family there. and now ikithon is between a rock and a hard place in terms of political standing, with a spy network he has openly encouraged to turn against him.

there is no terror waiting in the wings anymore, no more strings he can pull. just an abuser playing up his own grandeur. at this point, the only thing he hasn’t reached his limit in yet is his high-level spell slots.

[violettelueur]

GOJO SATORU || SWEET TASTE OF CHOCOLATE

| featuring : gojo satoru ft. itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors, but other than that n/a

| form : imagine

| word count : 2243

| published : 19 december

| request : hiii! i love your works sm 🥺 may i request for gojo x reader (can be headcannon or oneshot, your choice!) where reader is also a jujutsu sorcerer and teaching in kyoto? they act like they hate each other's guts but deep down they really like each other 😂 then when reader visits the school in tokyo gojo and reader were already arguing and teasing each other, the students can't help but think they're together but nAh then they help gojo confess to reader? feel free to ignore if u can't write this,thank youuu! ❤️

| barista’s notes : hi there~ i apologies for the extremely long wait for your coffee order but now it is there ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ my day today hasn’t really been the most active at all to be completely honest with you, that lovely time of the month has arrived and i couldn’t help myself but sleep through the pain  ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but moving on from that, i hope you enjoy your order of a cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and i hope you come back soon! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

“Gojo sensei, why don’t you just confess to L/N-sensei already?” Itadori curiously asked, causing the white-haired teacher to lift up his blindfold to look up at his first-year students, who were all standing around him on his chair, with a somewhat confused expression.

“Yuji-kun, what are you talking about? Confess? Ha?” Gojo asked in confusion, wondering why his student was asking such a weird question as well as wondering how Itadori knew about his feelings towards you.

“Sensei, it’s so obvious that you like L/N-sensei! There is no denying that fact,” Kugisaki shouted in frustration, annoyed at the fact how her teacher was so ignorant to the fact that it was clear as day that his infatuation towards you was just painful evident.

“Ah~ you guys caught me~” Gojo teasingly admitted with his hands stuffed into his pocket, before smiling up at the three students that were staring at him with dumbfounded faces.

“WAIT SO YOU KNEW YOU HAD FEELINGS?” Both Itadori and Kugisaki yelled in anger, causing Fushiguro to give both them as well as his teacher a glare of annoyance due to their loudness.

                                              ꕥ

“Fushiguro, who is that?” Kugisaki quietly asked as she pointed towards someone that was walking towards the first-years and Gojo with Principle Yaga right beside them, discussing something that seemed extremely important between both the adults.

“That’s L/N-sensei, she teaches at the Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College but from time to time, she does come over to this school to teach us as well,” Fushiguro explained, as he watches you finally stop right in front of them with a small smile on your face.

“So, these are the two new first-years you were talking about,” you commented to Principal Yaga before introducing yourself towards the three. “My name is L/N Y/N, and you all will be seeing me here from time to time since I’ll be helping you all, but you already know me Megumi,” you stated before gently patting the young boy’s head, causing Fushiguro to smile kindly at you.

“Ah~ isn’t it little Y/N? Have you gotten shorter over the past few months that I haven’t seen you?” Gojo then asked in a playful tone as he placed his giant hand on the top of your head, causing a sudden wave of irritation to hit you once you heard the shaman’s voice. “Well, well, well isn’t it dumbass Satoru? Are you still salty at the fact that I beat you in our last match?” you asked mischievous tone as you then violently pinched his right cheek before pulling it as much as you could.

“Are they dating?” Itadori then asked his friend, only to receive a simple ‘no’ as a response from Fushiguro, causing all three of them to continue watching the mess that was unfolding right in front of them.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch,” Gojo painfully panicked, before you suddenly let go of his face leaving an extremely bright ruby red mark on his face where your fingers were. “That hurts Y/N, who is going to even date you with your abusive antics?” Gojo mocked, causing you to instantly reply with “definitely not you, idiot Satoru,” you quickly answered back leading to the powerful shaman to express a blank expression his face before instantly replacing it with a cheeky smile to cover up what he was feeling - yet, even with that split second change, Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki all notice this and began to wonder the same thing.

‘Does Gojo-sensei like L/N-sensei?’

                                               ꕥ

“You should really confess to her,” Kugisaki suggested to her teacher, causing both Fushiguro and Itadori to nod in agreement - most likely to not be a victim to her wrath if they had disagreed with the female student.

“Maybe you should give her flowers? Or maybe some chocolate since L/N-sensei really like sweets,” Fushiguro commented, causing everyone to look at him with confused expressions on their faces.

“How did you know L/N-sensei loves sweets?” Itadori asked in a perplexed expression, as he wondered by Fushiguro would know such a random fact about you, causing his classmate to sign in frustration before explaining with, “when I was younger, she would always have a few small snacks in her pockets and would offer me some when I was upset or after picking me up from school,”.

“Awww that is so cute Fushiguro, L/N-sensei was basically your other parent,” Kugisaki commented with her hands hold her cheeks while squealing as she imagined the little image of you crouching down and giving a mini Fushiguro a chocolate chip cookie.

“Sensei, listen to Fushiguro and get a box of chocolates! The expensive kind as well because good food is anyone’s best friend,” Kugisaki ranted, as she was getting excited to set this couple up like she was cupid with the arrow - well...more like the nails and hammer.

“Or just get L/N-sensei’s favourite, which is…” Itadori added into the conversation before turning to his shikigami user friend, waiting for him to complete his sentence. Fushiguro turned to look at Itadori before quickly answering, “Meiji Milk Chocolate,”

“That’s quite a cheap chocolate,” Itadori then commented before Kugisaki quickly commanded, “it doesn't matter! Gojo-sensei, you need to go and buy that chocolate as soon as possible since L/N-sensei is coming to teach us today, so better hurry it up!” leading to the special grade shaman to sigh loudly as he quickly standing up from his seat to on his own two feet before making his way out of the room, quickly waving his arm out to all three of his students as a simple ‘see you later’

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After an extremely quick run to the closest convenience store, there was no surprised that Mr Gojo “I like eating sweets as well” Satoru came back with a small white bag with the store logo filled with masses of different types of sweets and chocolates nearly overflowing to the top, making any sweet-tooth child that saw this exceedingly jealous at the adult.

Walking around the grounds of Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College, Gojo was in search of both you and his three students, wondering where all four of you could have gone since he was very certain that there were no missions needed to be completed by anyone from what he was informed. 

However, there was a sudden sound of laughter coming from his left side causing the shaman to quickly turn in that direction and from the sounds of it, it was definitely Kugisaki laughing her ass off at something right now at this current moment in time. Turning his feet, Gojo steadily made his way towards the direction of the sound, hoping that he would find you and the rest there on wherever his feet would guide him.

After finding his way, Gojo had unexpectedly come to the amusing sight of both Fushiguro and Kugisaki - who was still laughing her ass off - sitting on the stairs that were leading to the track field of the school, with you casually standing with your hand in your pocket as Itadori was face planted on the ground from what he assumed was from your beating in your react combat training match.

“I can’t lie Yuji, you’re definitely stronger than I had imagined, if you are able to somehow combine both your physical strength with your curse energy equally, you would be able to beat Todo in no time,” you commented, as you stretched your arms to realise some of the tension that had gained from the little practice match you had with the salmon-haired student.

“Are you sure about that sensei?” Itadori excitedly asked as he quickly lifted his head up from the ground, causing you to gently smile at the young boy before nodding at his question. Leisurely, you turned your head towards the other students to ask whose turn it was until you suddenly saw an exceptionally tall figure standing behind the seated Fushiguro and Kugisaki.

“I guess class has to be dismissed for you,” you quietly mentioned to all the three students causing them to then look at the direction you were glancing at, only to find their playful teacher waving at them with a bright smile on his face.

“Yo~ it seemed like all of you had taken a beating, especially you Yuji,” Gojo stated, causing the Itadori to look away with a tired expression before steadily getting up from the ground. “Also, you all can head back into your dorms to freshen up from your training session since I need to have a chat with L/N-sensei. Class dismissed,” Gojo suddenly announced, leading all the first-years to look confused before seemingly realising what their teacher was going to do once they caught the slight of the small white bag that was in his hands.

Quickly making their way up the stairs, Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki all gave you a wave ‘goodbye’ before making their way back to their rooms, making you and Gojo the only people that were in the area right now.

“What is it that you want, idiot?” you asked, before making your way towards him with a tired expression painted on your face before positioning yourself on the stairs where Kugisaki was previously seated, leading to the white-haired shaman to take a seat next to you - where Fushiguro was previously. 

Suddenly, you unexpectedly heard a loud sound of something ruffling causing you to turn your head, only to now discover the small white back that your Tokyo rival was carrying to then also quickly detect that it was filled with chocolates and sweets leading to a cute little shine in your eyes to which didn’t go unnoticed by the white-haired man.

“You looking at something sweetie~?” Gojo teasingly asked, causing you to look up at him before quickly turning your head away to the opposite direction, embarrassed that he had caught you peeking at his little snack bag. Although, a few seconds later, you suddenly saw two rectangular boxes that were in both brown and white colour appear in front of your face leaving you in a confused state before hearing “I thought you would want something sweet after teaching my students, like a thank you gift I suppose,”

Hesitantly, you grabbed the two packages before slowly turning back your head to look at your jujutsu sorcerer colleague to see what he was resting his chin on the palm of his hand, somewhat covering the lower half that wasn’t covered but no enough for you to not see the pink hues that were slowly appearing on his face.

Deciding to not ruin the moment, you peered down at the chocolate that Gojo had given you to only suddenly find that he had brought your favourite kind, Meiji Chocolate but he had also added the white chocolate version for you to which put a gentle smile upon your face.

“Oh~ are you liking my gifts?” Gojo playfully asked you as he peered upon your face causing you to look at him with an irritated look. “Way to ruin the moment, you fool,” you then stated before carefully opening the box as you then slid out the foiled covered chocolate before processing to remove the shiny wrapping, only to be presented with the smoothest looking bar of chocolate you have ever laid eyes on. 

Admiring the sweet treat for a few seconds, you began to break the top row of cubes because handing it towards the shaman that was still looking at you. “Here and thank you for the chocolate, I really appreciate it,” you quietly said to Gojo, leading to the shaman to look at you with a shocked face - since you rarely thanked him for simple things like this - before using taking a bite of the chocolate that was still in your hands causing you to blush extremely from his actions. 

“HEY! At least take the chocolate from my hands and not eat it while I’m holding it, you snow idiot!” you shouted at him before feeling something being gently pressed upon your lips while a hint of sweet milk chocolate could be tasted.

Instantly dropping the chocolate bar on your lap, you slowly raised your hands and gently placed them upon Gojo’s cheeks, keeping him still as you wanted to savour this moment a little longer with him. Just a little longer. 

The taste of chocolate was sweetly addictive and there was nothing that could make you want to pull away. You were just plainly addicted. 

Slowly, you moved one of your hands to place it behind his head while placing the other arm over his shoulder. You just needed him close to you. You were willing to let him take your last breath if that meant you get to taste the sweetness that was being shared between the both of you right now.

Unwillingly, you felt yourself and him begin to pull away due to the lack of air, leaving both you and Gojo with heavy breaths. However, before Gojo could ever get a word in between the silence that was surrounding the both of you, he suddenly felt you pull his head back towards you only to feel your lips upon his in a desperate state, letting him off with no choice but to enjoy the feeling on unconditional love that was evolving between both you and him.

As well as the sweet taste of chocolate.