#i didn't write this it just manifested on my screen

[liminish]

i love scrawny men get over here and let me gnaw on them bones skeleton boy

[renshengs]

hmm i do think that danmei and dangai (censored danmei cdrama adaptations) being many non-chinese fandom people's first impression of chinese media has given them some misconceptions about mainstream chinese media, and it shows in a way that i find very frustrating when seeing discussions about cdramas on here. dangai dramas aside, even if government censorship didn't exist, the chances of your favorite cdrama gay ship becoming canon is about as high as the chances of any of those iconic homoerotic male friendships in a western TV show becoming canon. which is to say: extremely low.

what i think is that internationally huge danmei fandoms like mdzs and tgcf and drama adaptations like cql and shl have really fucked with people's conceptualization of danmei, in that they're using it as this reference point when analyzing relationships in all other forms of cn media, including cdramas and chinese games, which then manifests into people making very bold, very dubious claims about "queercoding" because 2 characters from a random cdrama reminds them of the one or two danmeis they'd encountered that shaped their entire perception of chinese media. basically it's this meme:

many people here need to understand that cdramas and chinese films are obviously mainstream forms of fictional media in china, just like how the mcu or the doctor who franchise is mainstream in the US and UK, or like shonen is mainstream in japan. not to burst your bubble of happy ignorance, but homoromantic relationships such as qingming/boya from the ying yang master are—for lack of a better term—fujobait. they are fujobait. bromances, because those sell well and everyone knows it. popular ships like bakudeku were not actually made canon in mha because shonen is mainstream, and in most industries geared toward maximizing capital, having full-on gay people front and center is considered a monetarily risky move. which sucks, of course, but china is absolutely no different. i promise you that if the govt removed their censorship laws for TV broadcasts, your favorite gay ship from mysterious lotus casebook or the blood of youth or fangs of fortune still wouldn't be canon. they might be allowed a bit more intimacy due to the lack of restrictive filtering, but they are not going to be sucking face for the same reason that gojo and geto from jjk didn't suck face.

danmei is still widely considered niche and risky in china, and if you haven't seen the recent news, authors are still getting arrested for writing it. assuming that chinese fiction, mainstream chinese fiction in particular, operate like dangais where the two guys with the most gay tension would be made explicitly canon were the censors to be lifted, is frankly pretty ridiculous. dangai dramas are adapted from danmeis, which are stories centered on a gay romance and narratively depend on the two guys falling in love. non-dangai dramas are very much... not that, hence why people shouldn't watch them expecting a censored danmei and then forcing assumptions of "my ship would be canon if only it weren't for censorship" on them.

it's very clear when someone who knows absolutely nothing about the actual situation with danmei and queer existence and mainstream TV censorship in china is trying to push their, if i put it crudely, "boss baby meme" perspective onto cmedia. fandom is all about poking at interactions between your favorite characters and giggling and speculating, but i think lots of fandom people (many of them safe in the pockets of their more progressive areas) view govt censorship as this big abstract dam that, if broken, would result in the canonization of all their favorite ships, which is not only an incredibly naive belief but also one that shows how much they view TV censorship as more of a personal inconvenience that's preventing their favorite ships from kissing on screen instead of the looming, deep-rooted issue depriving mainland chinese people of creative freedom it actually is. with cmedia fandoms there's a specific widely popularized "they're so gay omg how did censorship not notice" gag when there's any perceived homoromantic undertones in a story that's both rather insensitive and also ignorant, and many dangai and cdrama fandoms in particular (donghua fans too, link click shippers i'm looking directly at you) could really use some more education and sensitivity regarding this.

i've been in danmei & cdrama fandom spaces for years and post-pandemic this kind of nonsense has definitely gotten worse, especially when you compare shipping discussions here to shipping discussions in cn fandoms. here every 2 seconds someone makes an off-color censorship joke about tgcf donghua and over on douyin they are straight up commenting under the nezha sequel announcement post if there's going to be an oubing kissing scene. granted i obviously cannot see or know everything going on in cn fandom spaces because they are incomprehensibly enormous, but in all the spaces i've been in i've never seen a single censorship joke from anyone. why do people here absolutely insist on making them?

anyway. fandom be normal about chinese media challenge!

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

Another Vox enthusiasts I see? Well if I may...

Vox with a GN Hacker reader who was turned entirely digital after manifesting in hell. They don’t even have a physical form they’re completely stuck within Hell’s databases, their skills are obviously useful to him so he offers them a place on the team which they immediately accept on the condition that Vox makes them a vessel to inhabit because holy shit are they going stir crazy.

I’m not entirely sure how Vox’s abilities work but given he can at the very least project himself onto screens and the like I get the feeling that he’d plug himself into the system whenever they talk. Mostly because it keeps them grounded, they’re alot calmer when he’s actually next to them and not looking in through a screen.

I hope this didn’t get too wordy or long I just wanted to be thorough because I have massive brain rot for this techno mf-

Take your time with this request! Kisses darling <3

-📽

Dude, does anyone else remember having Shimeji's or that internet episode from Fairly Odd Parents? Cause that's what I'm about to write!

Digital Pet [Vox x Digital Reader]

When you first manifested in Hell, you were completely unaware that you had ended up in Hell itself. Because instead of manifesting in the overcrowded circle designated for sinners, you instead found yourself in a digital landscape. Countless screens surrounded you like a million portals. You could see the different shapes and sizes of the devices being used in hell and could even alter whether or not you saw what was being displayed on the screen or what the screen could see itself like a window to Hell.

At first, you had a massive meltdown. From what you could tell, you were the only one in this digital Hell custom-tailored to leave you isolated despite having access to every device in Hell. You wondered what you did to deserve the extra punishment layered on top of not being good enough for heaven, especially since you hadn't done anything particularly evil when you were alive.

You lost track of how much time passed. You entertained yourself by jumping from system to system. You'd watch shows that sinners binged, and you'd watch the city from large advertisement screens that overlooked the sinner's circle of Hell. Anything to stave off the loneliness.

One day, that all changed when you felt an electric buzz make the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You heard the voice of someone swearing and immediately pulled yourself away from the screen you had been sticking your nose into. When you turned, you saw another demon who was still sparking with some bright electric energy as he dusted himself off.

For a moment the two of you just stared at each other in shock. As far as you and Vox knew, you were the only ones who could access the digital realm of Hell's database. Vox is immediately wary, but you are thrilled as you approach him quickly.

"H-Hi, oh my god!" you breathe as you look him over. He didn't look new to Hell, but you had never seen anyone else in the same pocket of space as you before. "Did you just die? Have you seen anyone else? Did you just get here? It's been so long since I saw another person that wasn't on a screen!"

Vox blinked as you rapid-fired questions at him. He looked you over as you rambled something about the irony of his face being a screen when he finally shook his head and held up a hand to stop you.

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down," he started. "What are you talking about? How are you even here? No one else should be able to traverse through the database of Hell but me."

Vox's interest only grows as you explain your situation. "I see," he hummed as he looked you over with new intrigue. "I wonder if you have similar abilities to mine and just got caught in the in-between..."

It was easy enough for him to lure you into a deal. The sheer amount of panic you expressed when he pretended he was going to just leave you there was hilarious at the time. In exchange for you "surfing the web" for him, so to speak, he took you on as an apprentice of sorts. Vox trained your abilities and helped you hone your magic. While you had every hope of one day figuring out how to manifest in the physical realm the way he did, Vox cleverly avoided any pursuit of the possibility.

He liked having full power over you and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't starting to grow attached. While you hadn't learned anything about manifesting physically, you had learned how to appear on his screens. He'd never admit it to you out loud, but he found the tiny image of you running around on his devices and talking with him to be pretty damn adorable.

Despite his manipulation, the two of you actually slowly became friends. He found himself genuinely proud of you whenever you popped up to show him something new you had learned. There was a weird warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest when you would bounce with excitement at your new discoveries.

Sometimes you'd ask him to play a certain show or song for you. Even after you learned how to control inactive devices so you could look up anything you wanted, you still liked to ask him to play things for you just so you could watch them in his presence. You'd send memes to each other and Vox had to quickly excuse himself when you sent him a crudely drawn image of Alastor slipping on a banana peel while he was in the middle of giving a presentation at a meeting.

Vox was emotionally constipated, but he wasn't stupid. He could tell that the warm feeling in his chest was growing and he knew you were the source. He clutched his chest as he stepped into his lair and saw you sleeping on his desktop toolbar, waiting for him to come home after a long day at work. He had promised you that you'd watch the new episode of a show you'd been watching together, but his gameshow had run late.

He sits down with a sigh and traces over your sleeping form, feeling something twist inside of him as his claw only met with the cold, flat surface of a screen. He wondered what it would be like to hold you. To touch you. To have you in his arms while the two of you lay on the couch while you made him watch stupid shows instead of...

"Fuck," Vox whispered to himself as he pulled away from the innocent image of you. He clutched his face as he slumped forward in his chair. He had a decision to make.

And so do you, dear readers! I want to make a part two to this, the real question is:

[ss-skyearn]

Took Too Much

❝They say your love lasts forever if you see the first snow together.❞

PAIRING : Hwang Hyunjin x female!reader

WORD COUNT : 4.5k.

GENRE : Angst, Smut, Fluff.

WARNINGS/CONTENT : explicit sexual content, substance abuse, longing, mutual pining, vulnerability, they're in love and just want each other, angst with a happy ending.

SMUT WARNINGS : grinding, dry humping, foreplay, petnames, launderie kink, desperation, WORSHIPPING (quite literally), unprotected intercourse (don't try at home).

A/N : This piece is a little heavier than what I usually write but am particularly fond of it; feedback much appreciated. As usual, enjoy, lovelies. ♡

But it's a silhouette you'd recognize anywhere.

Those legs that you were trapped between during stolen moments of vulnerability.

Those large palms that held you down while you shook from the white hot pleasure the same hands brought you.

That soft blonde mop of hair that tickled your inner thighs when the same head was buried in your heat, almost every chilly night like today. And every warm one too.

It's funny.

How a single 'ding' can mean so much, can seize your heart, can threaten to bring out what you have been trying so hard to suppress.

It was a heat of the moment thing, done in good fun.

"It gives me a special privilege," he'd said.

"That makes no sense. You already occupy the largest unit in my heart," you'd breathed against his lips.

Moving back an inch, he'd whined, "It'll let you know it's me and that you have to abandon everything to give me attention. Pretty, please?"

You never could say no to his doe eyes, a fact he exploited on the daily.

So you'd given in, changing the ringtone for his messages and calls to one that is seperate from the rest of your contacts.

So really, it was a spur of the moment decision he'd proposed after having been interrupted mid make out session, him claiming a special place on yet another part of your being.

It's funny, honestly.

How the tone that once was the cause of butterflies going rampant in the pits of your belly, now has reason to cause grief of the same, if not more, measure.

You know who it is before you even chance a glance at your screen, but you look all the same.

Not knowing what you were expecting, the sorrow burning a deeper shade of red is felt and you reckon that it's the price to pay for reaching out to something you know would elicit a reaction such as this.

Hyun<3

You hadn't deleted his contact, the reason you're unsure of to this day. Perhaps a reminder that he did in fact once exist in your life, had a grounding presence, a place reserved all for himself in the mainland of your heart, and not someone entirely dreamt up.

It surely felt like it at times.

The silence from his end hurt you, broke you, shattered you, despite having been at your request. Days seemingly never ending, nights even moreso, your house empty, bed cold. All of it ate away at you a little at a time, leaving behind a silhouette tainted with holes, torn and run down at the edges.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't imagine, didn't long, didn't yearn for this very moment. The moment his side of the silence ceases, the moment he, despite your asks, reaches out.

So why does your heart feel about fit to burst at the seams? Why do you so badly want to run away? Why do you feel the air suddenly burning its way into your lungs?

"Hello?" your voice is but a whisper, foreign to anyone who's known you.

"Baby?"

Eyes closing shut, you let a long drawn sigh escape your nostrils. Being all too consumed in the eagerness of the manifestation of the moment you'd been wanting, you didn't stop to consider what his voice was capable of inflicting, underestimating your own longing for everything that's him.

"Baby, you there?"

"Why are you calling me?"

A rustling sound follows, as he lets out his own well deserved breath of air.

It's a sense of relief, if anything. Knowing that you're not the only one tormented.

A sick, sadistic kind of relief, sure. But relief all the same. Labels stopped meaning much to you a while ago.

"Missed your voice," he mumbles, tone having an unusual tilt to it.

You don't respond. Or rather, you can't. For if you will yourself to speak in this moment, a choked sob is about all that'll make its way out.

"Missed you," the tilt deepens and you catch yourself mere moments before voicing out your concerns. Not having spoken to him since the pair of you parted ways, it's going to take time adjusting to the fact that he's no longer accountable to your questions, your worries. And you're no longer expected to care for him.

You are no longer wanted.

"Why are you calling?" you echo, the fact that your voice is growing quieter by the second not lost on you. If anything, it's the same fact that withholds you from saying more.

"It's the first snow today."

You know what he's thinking. It'd be a lie to say you haven't been thinking the same all day.

You stay quiet, waiting for the blow.

When did you turn into such a masochist? You know the next thing coming out of his mouth is going to tear apart your tattered heart that you've been fixing up the past year since he left you.

"We met on the day of the first snow."

Alas, bandaids don't fix bullet holes.

They're ripped apart, shredded to nothing. Tattered and frayed, used for all their worth. Leaving behind the pieces of your heart, desperately clinging onto each other, trying and failing to stay in league.

"They say your love lasts forever if you see the first snow together."

A dry chuckle follows, filling the air with despair, a feeling contrary to the act in of itself.

"That's all fucking bullshit, isn't it?" the tilt to his voice wavers, a little sniffle enough to withdraw one from you too.

"Look where it got us," the silky voice breaks, the same one you adored.

The voice that once called you 'love', whispered confessions into your hair, your ears, your core. The voice that took on a hoarse tone when you woke up in his arms on late mornings, the one that promised to be with you always.

Empty confessions. Empty promises.

"Why are you calling?" seems like this is the only thing that's making its way out of your throat tonight. The only thing that can make its way out.

He hums, then chuckles again. The same hollow laugh, detached, impassive, phlegmatic.

"You always were stubborn, weren't you?"

"Hyunjin," your voice is stern, indicative of a warning.

But he finds no such emotion behind it.

"Keep going."

"Wh—"

"Keep saying my name. Please."

It's only going to take so much for the choked sob that you've been holding at the back of your throat to be let out. And it's taking every fibre, every alight neuron within you to keep it in.

"Why?" a meek whisper. Your voice wavering.

"Because I love it. Love you," a quiet sob. His tone trembling. "Still," A single word. Sealing in an entire universe worth of meaning.

Eyes falling shut again, you don't stop the trail of heat that burns your cheeks. For the first time in a year, you let yourself go. Let yourself feel.

Even if it's grief. Even if it's sorrow.

Your let yourself feel.

A huff of breath is heard through the receiver, followed by a shudder.

"You were always better than me with cold."

Your eyes snap open, back ramrod straight and despite knowing what you'll find, you hastily draw the curtains aside. And sure enough, the snowfall is steady, windy breeze rustling leaves off their petioles, streets emptier than they should be considering the early hours of night.

And for good reason.

"Hyun, are you out?"

"You still have me all figured out," he lets out, and you can almost see his breath condensing in front of his face, courtesy the coldest day of this year's winter.

"What are you doing out? Get in right now," the assertive tone isn't something you've used in a while. Maybe you just didn't have anyone to use it on anymore.

He chuckles again, seemingly the only reaction he's able to give you, the only reaction that doesn't involve speaking, lest the wobble to his tone give him away.

"Hyun, seriously. Get the fuck in."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"Don't know where I am," the sigh that follows lets you know that he just closed his eyes. It's the one he let out every night when he laid behind you, his chest to your back, him buried deep in you. It's when he felt the most at peace, he used to say. Coming home and being with you, feeling you, inside out. Quite literally.

Though what he's finding peaceful about the biting cold is beyond you.

"What do you mean you don't know? Hyun, don't fuck with me right now."

The next chortle is almost a laugh, the irony of your statement not lost on you. You think you hear something eerily similar to "how I wish" through the microphone, but you choose to ignore it.

"Hyunjin. For the last time, where are you?" even as your tone indicates your growing impatience, your body works on autopilot. Before you know it, you're getting up and reaching for your car keys, all while throwing a fleece jacket over your shoulder.

"Is getting you mad the only way to make you say my name?"

He's not listening. Something you're not used to. Sure, not listening and communicating is what got you both where you are today, but it's something you've never been at the receiving end of. It's the complaint he always had. And the complaint you always brushed off.

You suddenly remember another spur of the moment thing you did back in the day.

You pull out the app where you had your locations visible to each other, knowing of the other's whereabouts at all times. Your friends had called it a red flag, that he was possessive, obsessive even, to suggest something of this sort.

Little did they know it was your idea.

You see him, his little bitmoji some ten kilometres away from your current location.

Even as you're making your way to the car, shoving the steady falling snow out of the way, you make a show of protesting, "Use goggle maps and drive home."

"Can't drive either."

"Why?"

Silence.

And it gives you reason to fret. Despite the unnerving tilt, he's been responsive and dare you say vulnerable all throughout, the shake to his voice not holding him back from letting his feelings known.

So the first time he's silent is enough to make you break into a cold sweat.

"Hyun, why can't you drive?"

You hear him drag a hand down his face, some rustling of clothes following shortly after.

Another deep exhale, another beat of silence.

"Hyunjin," you settle on it as the last measure, knowing it's the only way he'll answer, the weakness he has for you saying his name made plenty clear today.

"I'm sorry," the whisper is barely there, almost lost in the sounds of your engine revving.

But he's the only one you've ever had ears for.

So you hear him. You hear him loud and clear.

"Why?" while he may not be egoistic, apologising isn't something either of you are good at. It's always been that way. A constant push and pull, a tug of war, a battle of wills, seeing you caves in first, who loses first. Hardly a healthy partnership, but what you had with him made it all worth it. More than worth it. He's the closest thing to a soulmate you'll ever have. If they do in fact exist, he's your other half.

He once was. He always will be.

"I- I just.. I'm sorry, baby."

Ice cold panic grips your heart, the external cold fading by comparison. He's apologized twice in a row now, and while your past self would call it improvement, in this moment, dread is the only sentiment you feel.

You stay silent, stepping on the race, praying he doesn't pick up on the sound of your engine accelerating.

A long moment of daunting silence later, he says something you don't understand, or rather refuse to understand.

"I took too much."

Its beyond refusal, a feeling akin to denial.

You deny to process what he just said, what he just implied, what he just meant.

"Stay right where you are," so, much like everything else, you choose to ignore it.

He seems taken aback for all of three seconds before his tone softens, "You coming to get me?"

You choose to ignore this too, convincing yourself that this is just mindless rambling to him.

His words suddenly hold no weight, his confessions empty.

Like always.

You glance at the GPS mounted to the dash.

One kilometre away.

"Do you remember when I kissed you?"

"You've kissed me more times than I can count."

Even as your heart is splitting in two, even after the recent realisation, you somehow find yourself reponding.

It's honestly all you've been wanting since he walked out of the bedroom, out of the apartment, out of your life that late September night.

"That day. The day of the first snow. The day we met."

You don't respond.

He takes it as a sign to continue.

"I knew it then. I know you knew it too."

Eight hundred metres.

"That you were for me. And I you."

Silence from your end again.

"How did we end up here?"

You know how. He knows how.

Five hundred metres.

Suddenly, a loud beep resounds, the call abruptly ending. That sends you into a chill panic, grip on the gear tightening. You pull over, and try tracing his location again. To no avail.

The location is gone. The ringtone goes straight to voicemail. Messages not delivering.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to remind yourself between deep breaths that he's capable of taking care of himself.

But then comes a gush of memories. Of a time when he walked straight into a pole while facetiming you once. You'd laughed then and called him a manchild.

The memory, albeit fond, doesn't help ease your worries, only aggravating the uneasy churn of your stomach.

Exhaling loudly, you talk yourself down your own anxiety first, realising that this is the first step if you want to have any chance at getting to him.

This is the general location, you remember. Once again, you kick start your car, the frantic rumble of the engine echoing down the empty roads, signifying the urgency of the affair.

It takes another twenty minutes and a slow drive down the snowy streets for you to spot a silhouette in the distance.

The person is slumped down against a rusty pole, back pressed to it, long legs propped up with feet flat on the snow covered pavement, head resting on the bend of their elbow thrown over upward knees. With their head buried in the crook of their arm, their face isn't visible, the thick smog hovering around them adding to the haze.

But it's a silhouette you'd recognize anywhere.

Those legs that you were trapped between during stolen moments of vulnerability.

Those large palms that held you down while you shook from the white hot pleasure the same hands brought you.

That soft blonde mop of hair that tickled your inner thighs when the same head was buried in your heat, almost every chilly night like today. And every warm one too.

You don't know when you got off your car, for now you find yourself looking down at the same silky golden locks.

Your boots sink into the snow, the ice underneath them melting.

He gives no indication of knowing of your arrival, and you wonder if he's managed to somehow fall asleep here.

Tiny snowflakes having made themselves home on his hair, almost forming a halo, he looks angelic. You reach out, wanting to dust them off his head before your stop, hand hovering.

You're suddenly tentative, when you didn't hesitate to tug on these very locks whenever he was in you.

That simple knowledge brings forth the harsh reality.

He's here. Right in front of you. Yet so far away.

Hand still in air, you're entirely unprepared when his head suddenly shoots up, palm grabbing your wrist.

"Baby?" his voice is gravelly, eyes bleary.

Yet he's the most perfect piece of art you ever did see.

He's gorgeous, your mind says to you— as if the fact could've ever been hidden, been denied even in incoherence.

But it's when you look closely that it comes crashing down. The realisation.

His slim face is gaunt now, eyes red and hazy, bags prominent. He's gorgeous, sure, but not as stunning as he once was.

You're suddenly knocked off balance, back pressing into the pole he was just resting on, the surface hot from his warmth.

It takes far too long for you to perceive what it is that's actually happening. His fingers dig into your hips, large palms splayed over your back, winding to the front, thumbs meeting. Warm breath tickles your neck, forcing out a gasp of your own.

"You're here," his voice is hushed, reverent even, afraid that the illusion of you would disappear any moment.

You nudge his shoulder, trying to shake him off, albeit unwillingly.

He removes himself from where he's nestled, looks you in the eye before closing them, forehead resting against yours.

From what you were able to make from that brief glimpse into his orbs, they're bloodshot, not the kind that result from lack of sleep nor the ones that speak of tiredness.

No, they are indicative of him being far away from the realm of normal thinking. It's the excuse you allow yourself to live, the reason you don't push him off you.

He's not thinking.

His tongue darts out, gliding over the plump of his lower lip, the texture of which you know by heart. Parting open, quick breaths leave him, and the proximity is to blame for the fact that it goes right into your mouth.

He puffs rapidly as if suddenly breathless, lips quivering, seemingly trying to find something to say, or perhaps trying to not say what his heart wants to.

"Tell me you're real this time."

This time?

"Hyun—"

"Just- just tell me you're really here," his eyes open slowly, drowsily, forehead still pressed into yours, hands sliding from your hip up your sides, caressing, feeling, landing on your nape.

Once again they circle you, this time overlapping over the back of your neck as he pulls you closer still, "That I'm not making you up again."

"What happened to you?" looking into his eyes again, you know it's not him. He's gone. For now.

So it's more of a question to yourself than to him.

What happened to him? What happened to your artist, your lover, your Hyunjin?

And just as you surmised, your question fell on deaf ears for he is a man on a mission.

"Baby, you're here right? With me? You came to me?"

Moving to close your nimble hands over his big ones, you relish in their warmth for a moment, the reason of said unnatural heat another thing you choose to ignore for now.

You can wallow in guilt by yourself later. All you want.

But now that you've allowed yourself this moment of weakness with him, you plan to bank on it.

"Yes, Hyun, it's me. I'm here."

Encircling your arms around broad shoulders, you pull him to you, into you. His own hands slip to your hips, squeezing you right back.

"I keep seeing you everywhere, everyday. Wherever I am. Whenever I'm awake."

You think you hear a sob, but don't let it show, for you're not immune to the sorrow either.

Maybe the apathetic front was just that, after all. A front. One you had to put up, one you had to believe in— fool yourself into believing in, if only for self preservation.

"You're not making me up this time."

He doesn't reply with words, doesn't need to. The way his hold on you tightens, lips brushing the side of your neck speaks volumes.

Hot, wet kissed trail up the column of your throat, their heat melting off any snow falling on you. Surroundings be damned, you throw your head back, giving him the silent consent.

That seems to be invitation enough for him, as his kisses turn to sucking, sucking turns to biting. He's marking you, something he enjoyed partaking in quite a lot back in the day, and you already know the colour of each of the marks that he's leaving, only through the pressure and the ratio of tongue-teeth action he spares your skin.

You permit it, indulging him, indulging yourself.

But it's when he noses his way to your jaw and finally lifts up to look into your eyes that you're reminded of reality, of his incapacitated state.

You jolt back, practically shoving him off.

He's understandably puzzled, brows creasing, panting.

"Wh— did I do something wrong? I remember you liked when I did this? You don't anymore?"

"No. It's not that. I do like it. Maybe even more than before."

The crease to his forehead eases out as he takes a single step forward, to which you take one of your own. In the opposite direction.

He stops dead in his tracks, the bend to his brows deeper than before.

"Baby, why are you going away from me?"

You try not to look into his eyes, the branching redness visibly growing new stems by the second.

"Don't go away from me."

Unlike what some might assume, you're not put off, not repulsed by gleam to his eyes, nor by their sanguinence. In not too proud of a moment, you'd say you're even used to it.

It's what you see every time you look into the mirror. What you hate, what you need.

A vicious cycle. A cursed affair.

The glint in your eye reflects his, ignites his, the two light beams meeting to string together.

The profane symphony. The impious consonance.

You did try. Tried not to let it take over you, it's been more than half a day since you last indulged in a sniff, after all. But Hyunjin is nothing if not a vice to your repressive instincts.

Your kryptonite. Your aphrodisiac.

One look at his bloodhsot eyes and you know this is it. He is the one. Who else could be the other half to your broken, tattered soul? Who else could be the mirror image of your own intoxicated orbs? Who else could slot into your cracks?

He steps forward, and this time you don't have it in you to recoil. Closing your lids, you let him snake his arms around your waist, pull you impossibly close. His face finds the comfort of your neck again, hot breathe laced with desperation marking the seeping away of the last of your restraint, taking with it any hope you had to do this right. For once.

"Don't go."

You've known him long enough to realise he's pulling apart your guard, piece by excruciating piece. You've known yourself long enough to realise you're caving, embracing the pain that is him.

"Let's get you home."

You don't see anything, too consumed in the fire that is him, his touch.

You're kissing him like you need him to breath. He's kissing you like he needs you to survive.

His hands pull down the zipper to your shirt, legs guiding you back onto the bed proper, step by step.

You land on your back with a soft thud, shirt thrown off somewhere. His own following suit soon after.

His eyes land onto the black lace adorning your chest, shining and all too inviting. The same lace he got you for your two year anniversary, the same lace he had you in that day, the same lace he had you in on countless days after that.

He places one knee between your legs, the duvet dipping, and nuzzles his face in your cleavage, taking in a long inhale.

Nosing about, he whispers, "Are you doing this on purpose?"

You know what he means. He never failed to mention what this set did to him, to his brain, his length. And you'd made it a point to use it against him every chance you got.

Today however, was not that chance, but you're grateful for the fateful coincidence.

He gets up only to slowly peel off your leggings and partially hovers over you, knee between your legs again, this time much closer to the warmth of your core.

His eyes trail down your figure, taking in all the curves, the crevices. Remembering all that once was his, learning all that he wasn't there to witness during your time apart.

His hands gently move up and down your sides, caressing and massaging, eyes going back and forth between the two lace pieces.

They're the same pair, but your body has changed quite a bit since he last had you in it.

You've somehow managed to surpass your own beauty and it's nothing if not a detriment to his sanity.

And his stamina. He's suddenly not too proud of it, if the exponential build up of his arousal is any indication.

The heavy caresses have now pushed you down the bed, your heat coming in contact with the rough patch of denim on his knee. You gasp at the contact, your core tender from how drenched you are from all his staring and fondling.

He picks up on it and uses his hold on your hips to begin grinding you on his knee. You groan, your thin silky lace and his thick rough denim adding to your arousal. Never would you have imagined that simple gliding, over the confines of clothes no less, could feel this good.

This is what being with Hyunjin is always like. Trying, experimenting, tapping into uncharted territory, with the knowledge of safely, of assurance, of security.

Sleeping with him, you got to know of your own body, what made it tick, your likes, your turn ons.

Being with him, you got to know of yourself, what made you you, your talents, your strengths.

Existing with him, simply made you whole.

So if this is all you get, you'd be content.

Moans and whimpers echo in the room that's now empty without his studio table nestled in the corner, without his clothes piled up in random heaps, without music equipment thrown astrew on the wooden floor.

Empty. Empty. Empty. Without him.

"Goddess."

A loud moan rips from your throat, the sound unholy. Your eyes snap open, in shock of your own reaction.

"You like that?"

Staring up at him with wide eyes, you're not sure what to say. It's yet another uncharted territory, yet another epiphany. And you're grateful it's with him.

Leaning forward he captures your lips between his soft ones, tongued clashing, spit mixing, swaying his head side to side, smearing your collective essence all over your cheeks and jaws.

"Like it, my goddess?"

Another equally loud moan echoes, even as his grinding has ceased. Your response is unprompted, no physical stimulation in sight.

While it might have been embarrassing, you're anything but.

Simply because it's him.

And you're not yourself. And he's not himself.

But you're together. All else rendered trivial.

Feedback and reblogs are very highly appreciated. They're what keep the community alive and help content creators stay motivated.

[Send an ask if you wish to be added to the permanent taglist.♡]

© ss-skyearn 2023. All rights reserved. Copying, editing, reposting and translating any of my works is not allowed.

[perpetuallyfive]

did you think act 2 had a dip in quality when in comes to writing? i've seen so many people complaining and i can't, for the life of me, understand why, apart from people having these really personal expectations that weren't met (vi's pitfighter era being just the montage, caitlyn not spelling out her inner turmoils, isha's entire existence, jinx being family oriented instead of a freedom fighter, sky is also pissing people off lol), and I'm just so confused bc idk if I'm just easier to please, or if my lack of expectations just allowed me to enjoy the story plain and simple

I think there's a fair chance that many of the people complaining didn't watch season 1 until all three acts were released and aren't used to watching Arcane as a week to week experience; a huge percentage of the people in this fandom only joined it around the time they saw an "oil and water" gif set. No shade, of course. I can understand why people weren't jumping to watch women written by Riot, but that does color how you're going to view the pacing of a season.

This very well might be the first time a lot of those complaining built up expectations of where the story would head next, how they'd watch the struggle play out between Zaun and Piltover, only to see things they wanted to watch in depth get covered in a montage.

The fact that a single montage tells us everything we need to know about where Vi is at and what she's been up to is actually good, economical storytelling, but that's not the kind of thing people are used to in most shows. If you go back and watch the pilot of Arcane, so many things happen in that one episode. You get almost a full season of TV in a single 42 minutes of Arcane. A lot of other shows are just filling time, running in place until one of the two or three big moments for the whole season can happen a few episodes later.

That's not how Arcane works now or ever.

I imagine if some people had watched season 1 week to week — with lots of time to imagine what came next while at the edge of their seat — they would have been upset that we never saw the three youngest girls growing up. Act 1 ends with this huge cliffhanger and then we jump an unspecified amount of time into the future. We don't spend time with Vi in jail, we don't actually see any of the trauma alluded to. We don't see the tension in Caitlyn's relationship with her mom and how that plays out over time, which is a pretty huge part of season 2. We don't see Jinx's transformation into the damaged girl she becomes. All of that happens off screen and is only implied.

The techniques people are complaining about this season are exactly the same as last time, when they loved the show. But if you watched everything all at once before — no time to build up an imagined result that didn't pan out — and were reassured by how much you liked the payoff, then maybe you didn't even notice these things that you can hyper analyze while you wait 7 days for the next drop.

Hell, I saw multiple people surprised that introducing tension into Vi and Caitlyn's relationship has already paid off so well because it led to, you know... tension. Some people are so used to shows not doing anything that they are surprised when actually doing things can turn out to be interesting.

I think a lot of the things you say people are complaining about are probably going to be covered in act 3. Jinx has always been family oriented. She only cared for the found family she had with Vander, and then Silco took that place. She didn't give a shit about anyone else working with him, and actively made their lives harder just for fun. It's going to take some effort and time to move her from that pretty self-interested place she's always occupied to being some kind of freedom fighter risking herself for strangers, and Isha was a vital part of getting her there.

I also think there's a really strong chance that isn't even Sky, but rather a manifestation of her created by the Hextech/Void/Whatever that consumed her using her as a puppet to manipulate Viktor into spreading its influence further and faster. But who knows! There's an entire three episodes left and, again, a single episode of Arcane covers so much and always has. None of us can actually know where the stories will be one episode later, let alone three.

Look, for all I know, this might not pan out. We never know if a show is going to stick the landing one season to the next. But they're not really doing anything differently from last time, so I don't see a reason to panic or complain yet.

[bonisonline]

Getting real fed up of some of the Vox Machina/Critical Role "fans" (slight vent)

Countless times I've seen people complaining about the most miniscule things in the show. Whether it's a slight dialogue change, a timeline shift or not enough/too much queer representation, people can just never be goddamn satisfied can they? I'll give some examples of complaints I saw under YouTube clips of Vox Machina/Critical Role C1 (DISCLAIMER: this is not me talking about genuine fans of CR or VM; just people who've watched the show out of boredom basically):

"Why did they cut out Vax's brotherly love comment to Percy in the show and instead make it about Vex? It ruins the scene." - well it's because in the show's current timeline, the main issue Percy and Vax had been facing is Percy killing Vex by not checking for traps. This had caused a lot of tension between Vax and Percy, and they didn't really have time to build a brotherly bond or have brotherly moments (aside from when Percy tells Vax he's got Vax's back in the Fey Realm). The show's timeline is moving a lot faster than the original campaign due to the CR team only getting 5 seasons with 12 lots of 20 minute episodes per season to work with as opposed to 115 lots of 4 hour long episodes, meaning there's not as much time to flesh out ALL the characters' relationships with one another (at least not on screen). If we're patient I'm sure we'll get more Percy and Vax brotherly moments.

"I'm tired of homosexuality getting the short end of the stick! Sucks that all of the main cast is straight." - Firstly, Vex, Vax, Scanlan and Keyleth are canonically bisexual. Just because someone queer ends up with the opposite sex, doesn't make them automatically straight. Secondly, the show is prewritten, and while the characters end up in heterosexual-presenting relationships it doesn't mean that their relationships are worse/boring simply because it's not Vexleth and Perc'ildan instead of Vaxleth and Perc'ahlia. The way the relationships are written are very fitting for each character, and I enjoy that the writing for these characters is not just "And he/she looked at them and realised he/she was in love! Yay!". Plus campaign 2 has two queer couples, so if Vox Machina not having enough homosexuality frustrates you you can always stop watching and wait for the Mighty Nein series to come out.

(To follow up to my last point about the Mighty Nien series, I also saw this person complaining that it "only has lesbians, no gay men" - so I guess Caleb and Essek don't exist now...)

"I felt bad for Zerxus until he mentioned he had a husband. Why are the characters always gay..." - On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are people who think Vox Machina is TOO gay, which makes me go "have you even researched the cast of Critical Role in the SLIGHTEST?" - obviously not, or else they'd realise how supportive the cast is of the LGBTQ+ community, how a few cast members are a part of it, and how CR actively supports and encourages diversity.

ANYWAY! That's enough venting. What I'm basically trying to get at is this: if there are elements of the show that makes it genuinely hard for you to watch, then stop watching. You don't have to watch a show if you don't actually like what you see on your screen. You can manifest it suddenly making all your headcanons/wishes a reality, but I think you'll just hurt your brain after a while.

[oneatlatime]

The Earth King

As always, commentary off.

No. Sokka. No. Stop. This is your stupidest idea yet. I want to LEAVE Ba Sing Se.

Sokka. Listen to your sister. And your other sister.

Toph embodying my will manifested on screen.

What makes you think the Earth King is going to listen to four teens and their fluffy dog? When I put it that way, this is Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo plus Momo. Does that make Momo Scrappy Doo?

We're going back to Ba Sing Se. Great. Yay. I'm so excited.

It is rapidly becoming apparent that Sokka has lost his mind.

Surface to air rocks is funny. I'll give it to them, that's good.

This fight scene music is fantastic.

Aang took a level in badass at some point without my noticing.

I know these hats are inspired by real historical hats, and so I really shouldn't make fun, but these look like the lovechild of a toilet brush and a feather duster.

This fight is majority Toph and Katara. RIP the egos of these several hundred Earth Kingdom soldiers.

Please ensure your fluffy little butt is securely stored in the overhead bins before takeoff.

There's no way these guys are still alive. This is what was done to Jet, doubled. They dead.

The girl who doesn't even want to be here is doing all the work. Typical.

My congratulations to Toph, Katara, and Aang for demolishing an army without breaking a sweat. If only season 1 Katara could see you guys now.

I said in my previous write up that Zuko doing something good always comes back to bite him. I didn't mean it this literally. Did he have to take the jug out with him, or was that for the drama?

Good job guys!

Soka steals my job and points out the fulfillment of the Beat Up Sokka quota.

His earthiness has an interesting set of priorities.

So... is this episode just going to be talking?

He brainwashed your friend? Did you miss that he killed him too?

I said in my last write up that Long Feng was Avatar's first competent villain, but the tone he takes with the Earth King is so unsubtle that I'm thinking of rescinding that claim. Unless the King is so dumb that subtlety isn't required?

Toothprints. Sokka the idea guy coming in clutch. Too bad his brain wasn't engaged at the start of the episode.

Appa is a herbivore. Confirmed. Although he should have fangs for aesthetic reasons. Fanged Appa would be metal.

This king is a confusing mixture of endearing and infuriating.

No mere fever will prevent me from doing mundane actions in the most dramatic way possible!

Way back in the 90s there was a print ad for Chevy trucks that I remember seeing in magazines. It had a shirtless guy in jeans sitting on the bed of his truck in a field, pouring a bucket of water over himself. It was kind of at sunset and had a very late summer vibe. I had completely forgotten about it until I saw Zuko's bucket shenanigans in this scene, at which point I was abruptly -ABRUPTLY- reminded of how much time little me spent staring at that ad.

OH MY GOD. The King doesn't know about trains!!! BLASPHEMY.

Huh. So the King isn't stupid, he's just horrifically naive.

Positive attitude Sokka is kind of frightening. I do not like.

If I told this King that I had a bunch of puppies in my windowless van, he would totally fall for it. So much about the Earth Kingdom suddenly makes sense.

That one guard is having a doozy of a day.

Did the King just show a smidge of self-awareness? Wasn't expecting that.

Who is this? I have no idea who this is. I didn't realise how integral the scar was to the character's design. Give it back.

Yikes. A bunch of shmymbolism. I suck epically at decoding shmymbolism unless it's really spoon fed to me, so I'm not even going to try to understand this dream beyond 'poor guy has a really bad fever.'

Has anyone seen the Spencer Tracy movie Father of the Bride? There's a bit where he has a dream that the floor on the way to the altar does pretty much exactly this. Hungry floors must be a common dream experience.

Pretty.

If the King is really this completely ignorant of the war, who's been directing the army?

It's pretty neat that Sokka is the spokesperson of Team Avatar, and that no one disputes that.

Aang says "there's a comet coming this summer," but I heard "comic" and I know they made tie in comics for the show, so I was like "ooh a crossover episode!"

"You're already vulnerable. The Fire Nation won't stop until the Southern Water Tribe falls. You can either sit back and wait for that to happen, or take the offensive, and give yourself a fighting chance." -Sokka's dad speaking to the men of the Southern Water Tribe, while his son listens perhaps a bit too closely.

If the King really was completely in the dark about the war, how does he even know who the General is? Did Long Feng have the power to keep the General from mentioning the war?

"Your majesty I'm General How, head of the Council of Five." "What's that?" "It's in charge of your army." "Right. And what's the army up to these days?" ... " ...I planted a lovely tomato garden this year."

I love that earthbenders don't wear shoes, and that it's culturally normal. Makes an intriguing visual contrast to their fancy duds.

I have GOT to know what Mushi the teamaker's secret file says.

Toph can't read guys.

Sokka, Katara, I get it. You miss home too. But how would anyone at all from your tribe know to send a message for you to Ba Sing Se? Last time you all touched base, you were headed to the Northern Water Tribe. And those guys sent you off to Omashu, not Ba Sing Se.

Nitpick time! Katara starts reading the text of this letter out loud before she unrolls it.

Katara's voice acting while she's reading the letter is sweet. She's so excited.

Iroh. Priorities. Tea can wait.

"Huh? What's happening?" "You huffed a bit too much cave slime under Lake Laogai. Just ride it out."

This vase is lit like a main character.

"You're going through a metamorphosis my nephew." Iroh, he's a bit too old for that talk. Hang on I just realised that Zuko went through puberty on that ship. I bet that was rough.

I don't trust this. This news is all too good.

Aang referring to them all as "the family" hurts a little bit.

It is unbearably sweet to let Sokka go see their dad while Katara helps the Earth Kingdom plan, but Katara sucks at planning. Then again, the Earth Kingdom sucks in general, so maybe having a sucky planner will be a net improvement?

Either way it's good little sister content.

But there are six Kyoshi warriors. I counted in Appa's Lost Days.

Oh they didn't

Attack hug!

Airbender Zuko is a very effective jumpscare. Don't blame him for freaking out.

You know it's bad when finding the scar intact comes as a relief.

Nope. Don't trust it.

Fuck this guy.

Long Feng even eats rocks maliciously.

Fuck these guys.

Oh they did. Fuck these guys.

Final Thoughts

And just like that, it all went to shit. Or it will.

I was braced to be annoyed by how conveniently quickly the Earth King got with the program, but it actually fits well into the rest of the episode. Instead of a thing that goes improbably well, it's the one thing that goes right in episode filled with set up for everything falling apart. That bothers me less.

This episode was actually fun. At least until the end. It was mostly talking and Zuko on a bad trip. But it was win after win for everyone but my Ba Sing Se hating self, and it's always good to see your favourites having a good day. But! I have a glimmer of hope! So long as Sokka and Aang aren't completely written out until they return to Ba Sing Se, at some point I'll get some episodes outside of the city. And I have Appa back, so things aren't too bad in the grand scheme of things. I wonder that Appa wasn't upset at having all his people back for five minutes then having them split up again.

I do not like positive thinking Sokka, and I especially don't like that I have no idea where he came from. That point wasn't set up at all. I want my baby cynic back.

If letting Appa go was enough to trigger Zuko's morality crisis to the point of physical illness, why didn't letting Aang go in The Blue Spirit, or choosing to chase after Iroh rather than the Gaang in The Winter Solstice Part 1, cause a similar illness? What is different about this time?

Toph was once again the voice of reason in this episode, or rather my personal audience insert. Although it did surprise me how excited she was to see her mom. I thought that sending bounty hunters after their own daughter was kind of unforgivable, but either Toph doesn't know, or she's a more forgiving person than I am.

I realise now that this should have occurred to me when I watched Appa's Lost Days, but what idiot didn't take the Danger Ladies into custody when the Drill was stopped? btw I keep calling them the PowerPuff Girls in my head.

This episode was simultaneously a finale to a lot of threads and an introduction to a lot more. It was a chance to breathe between crossing the finish line of the 'find Appa' quest and starting the 'season finale' quest. It was also structured backwards. The big fight was like six minutes in. The 'what are we doing this episode?' was one of the last scenes. But it still works. I'll be interested to see what I think of this one when I rewatch it. It was such an info dump that I wonder if my opinion of it will be different once I watch it with all of the relevant facts known to me already. Either I'll appreciate the episode's other parts like the comedy, or I'll be bored. We'll see.

Two episodes left this season! I don't think I'll be getting to those before next year. See you all in 2024! (time needs to slow way down)

[takumi-sumino]

I've seen a couple of people do stuff like this, so I'm gonna take a stab at it. My thoughts on every character so far! (Long post, so the opinions are all under the cut)

Darumi

She feels like an audience insert of sorts, with her immediate mention of death games and her outfit looking like something a stereotypical "2020 danganronpa cosplayer" would wear.

She's a bit unhinged from what we've so far, but she also seems like she'll be a lot of fun to watch on screen, and isn't that what's most important?

Definite and overwhelming red herring for something, however. Unsure for what yet, but she screams red herring to me.

Also, the fanart of her has been spectacular. Keep it up, lads.

Eito

I'm sure we've all seen *the scene*, so there's that. If that's not out of context somehow and consensual, then- yay? Good for the yaoi fans.

I immediately liked him when I first saw his design, he just *looks* nice. I'd let him hold my drink at a party. I've read somewhere that he becomes Takumi's closest friend, and I dearly hope that that's true, because that means we get lots of Eito content.

I'm also unbelievably excited for that one ending where he inevitably goes off the deep end and does something absolutely horrific. There has to be one. Manifesting it. I love watching my favourite characters commit atrocities.

Gaku

Can I just say how different he specifically looks in his two different outfits? I didn't even recognise him when his sprite of him in the uniform was revealed. His casual outfit is so silly, and his uniform looks the most like he's about to beat my ass. The gattling gun also helps, probably.

That aside, I don't feel that strongly about him. He's probably a nice enough guy, nothing else to say about him.

Hiruko

She's actually drop dead gorgeous. One of the best casual outfits.

Moving on, I think she's the one who's the leader of the squadron? She seems to have experience with facing the enemies, and she's still alive, so I admire the heck out of her for it. She also has an axe that is bigger than her; you can have all the gattling guns or scythes or floating knives in the world, but nothing bests a good old-fashioned ginormous axe.

Ima

Goofy face, what's he looking at me like that for?

This guy has a bit of a reputation, I know, but I'm choosing to have faith.

A sister complex is not inherently sexual or romantic (although it often is) and I find complicated and toxic family relationships in media quite interesting.

I am, however, almost entirely leaning on Uchikoshi here. Clover and Snake's sibling relationship was extremely well written, and I'm hoping that even if he does feel romantically inclined towards his sister, it's just as well written. I'm choosing hope.

Also, his weapon is phenomenal. I might need to make a weapons tierlist at some point.

Kako

She's a cutiepie, and I haven't missed the fact that she and her brother have angel/devil symbolism with their weapons.

Apparently, the two of them are a bit younger than many of the other students, so that should be interesting- Takumi I know is 17/18. Apparently, they're still in Junior High, so 14/15? I wonder if there'll be any split because of the age groups?

I want nothing but the best for her and I hope she gets it. And doesn't die too many times.

Karua

Likely the one this story revolves around, and one of the more mysterious characters.

I'm curious about her, but I don't really feel anything that strong about her. I am fairly certain that Takumi will tear apart reality itself for her, so she'll probably be a pretty nice character. And hopefully, NOT a twist villain.

Kurara

Absolutely wild to have a masked character in a game that Uchikoshi is writing, I'm sure that has never happened before.

She's filthy rich and has a tomato for a head, I- really don't know what to say about her. Her weapon is hilarious to me, "rich girl above all rich girls" and has a shovel for a weapon. I respect the grind, at least.

I'm sure in true Zero Escape fashion, we'll unmask her in one timeline and use that information in another.

Kyoshika

I genuinely have nothing to say about her- I learned she existed a couple days ago? Had never noticed her before, honestly.

She has a cool outfit in any case.

I just remembered there's a 10 image max on the app, so I'll continue this in a reblog

[gatalentan]

can u actually go over the significance of the sunflowers on the work wives’ table again? I think I missed it the first time and it sounds interesting

You have activated my trap card. Here is my thesis on the Work Wives Sunflowers.

Ok, I want to preface this by saying this is totally just a little bit of fun, and I am not totally deluded as to think this is A Thing. I have no expectations about this ship being canon, or there being Secret Meanings. It's more spotting a pattern and running with it. However, similarly - there is symbolism in this show in terms of costuming and set design, such as Janine's "love" necklace appearing and disappearing during story beats, writing on the teachers' boards being plot-relevant, etc, so it's not me being totally outlandish! For nearly 30 consecutive there hasn't been any decorations on the table, only practical items like salt, pepper, a basket of leaflets/condiments, a napkin holder etc (with the exception of Pilot, where the tables were in a different configuration, the WW are at a different table and all the tables have a little plant). For eg, here is all of S1:

In Fire, the table was damaged during a lapse of Barbara's mental health, where she became very insular with her own internal pain and didn't reach out to Melissa about it. It goes without saying that in the WW lore this table is basically a second home. The only time either of them sits anywhere else is when they fight, when Melissa ends up "sleeping on the couch" (other tables). This table getting damaged was a huge deal to Barbara and an inciting incident in her finally telling Melissa about Gerald's health problems and how it was upsetting her.

The table obviously had to be replaced after the fire damage, and was. In Teacher Conference, there is a new table, and a little bouquet has appeared, which stays through the next episode Mural Arts, squirreled away behind all the dinner paraphernalia.

But in Teacher Appreciation, the sunflowers appeared, huge and bright, two of them, a centrepiece, right there from the cold open.

An episode which, as we know, was a massive turning point in their relationship, where they fought, traded some really, really low blows that cut deep, but this time apologised on screen and reconciled - and one in which Barbara is wearing bright yellow when they do.

Immediately my squirrelly little brain started making connections about this, because they're SO bright and LARGE and PROMINENT and there wasn't any prominent decoration on the table before. My initial thought was oh, it's teacher appreciation day, this can be dismissed easily as just a gift from one of the kids. But we saw a lot of gifts being given to them all in this ep, and the flowers aren't among them. It was @cdyssey who made the stitch for me that this is probably Barbara christening/homecoming the table/the physical manifestation of their friendship/relationship after her lapse damaged it in an episode which re-cements their connection after the events of Fire, and in an episode where their bond is tested. Flowers are her thing. It has to be Barbara.

We also haven't seen any other gift that was given become a recurring feature. They are always facing the wide-angle camera, two bright faces for the two of them in the configuration they always sit in, side by side. Barbara Howard, who loves flowers, no doubt has read up on flower language before. Sunflowers are representative of "silent love, loyalty, admiration, arrogance and unspoken love". This was, without a doubt, a deliberate choice, and so, so thematically relevant for not only the unspoken but incredibly strong bonds of their relationship (platonic, romantic or otherwise), but also the arrogance for which Barbara (and Melissa) took their relationship (and the symbolism of their shared table) for granted in the episode where they appeared, and in Fire where she didn't open up to Melissa and share her pain.

The sunflowers are a physical manifestation of what Barbara feels about her relationship with Melissa, and the sanctuary that is their second home: the table. A safety and enduring loyalty that has lasted decades and seen countless other colleagues and friendships and even Melissa's marriage come and go. For each other, they are a reliable, ever-present constant, a beam of sunlight no matter what they are weathering together. The sunflowers stayed on the table for the following episode, disappeared 2x20 when Melissa was sat at the table alone (and was stressed and unmoored the whole episode), and the reappeared in 2x21, when the WW returned to the table again. And not only reappearing, but reappearing in a yellow outfit.

This cements to me that this is Barbara bringing them in each Monday - when she doesn't come into the lounge, the flowers aren't there.

As an addendum, I haven't re-checked the full series proper, but another time sunflowers have appeared in relation to WW is during another turning-point scene in 1x06, the "maybe this is it for me" scene with Barbara, Melissa & Gerald eating lunch that leads to Barbara encouraging Melissa to date again... but which also contains this look, where Barbara's mask nearly, fully slips one of the most significant times in the whole series and is a foundational moment in WW ship lore. Again, there are two sunflowers in this scene.

Yes, this whole thing is me being a delulu girl. Yes, it's me making tenuous connections for a non-canon ship and making a meal out of scraps. Yes, I fully enjoy this little theory and subscribe to it, and welcome anyone else to play around in the mud with me, too. If you wanna take this idea for fic etc, GO GO GO!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

Idea Seraphim Y/N X Lavender butterfly

A butterfly and her Guardian Angel

! Well this was unexpected o o! - - Sure butterfly. (This ought to be interesting.)

It's a late night and Lavender Butterfly cookie is sitting on her bed with a tired expression as she stares at a screen that manifested in front of her. There's a completely blank document. She groans.

Lavender Butterfly cookie: Be gone, art block... or- writing block in thi case... I'm too tired to be dealing with this.

Just then, in angelic light and all, Seraphim Y/N Flew down from the heavens. But despite that, Lavender Butterfly cookie didn't spare them a glance. In fact, the slight growl of irritation suggested that she was far too annoyed to be dealing with anyone, even her own creations.

Seraphim Y/N: Why are you still up at this late hour?

Lavender Butterfly cookie: Writing.

Seraphim Y/N: Oh? If that's so, why is there not a single word on that document displayed in front of you?

Lavender Butterfly cookie: Just- go away. I'm busy. Go take care of Angel cookie or even your siblings.

Seraphim Y/N: I don't consider them my siblings and you know that.

Lavender Butterfly cookie: Don't care- *Yawns* didn't ask. Leave.

With a deep sigh, Seraphim Y/N simply teleports behind Lavender Butterfly cookie. She'd have noticed if she wasn't so tired. Suddenly, she felt their hands on her cheeks from behind her. They gently tilted her head up and the two gazed into each others eyes.

Lavender Butterfly cookie: W-what are you-

Seraphim Y/N: Helping you.

Their hands move onto her forehead and a golden light emits from them. Before she can protest, the drowsiness pulls her into sleep. The blank document disappears and Seraphim Y/N gently lays her on the bed, pulling a blanket over her.

Seraphim Y/N: Rest, little butterfly. A princess needs her beauty sleep.

[kunikireyu]

Author's note:- yeah so after reading chapter 236 i completely went numb I don't know what I expected but wasn't this after crying for 3 days straight i am ready to write more again hope you like it.

warnings:- heavy angst/no comfort what so ever. (Manga spoilers of chapter 236)

You begged him for hours you have lost the count. He just won't listen to you. You cried endlessly thinking of a way to stop him. You believed him in you knew he was the strongest but something in you just don't want to let him go. All the "what if" keeps crossing your mind. After the incident at Shibuya you were afraid, scared of lossing him. He was your sunshine, your everything he was the reason you woke up everyday. But he didn't listen. Before leaving he last time kissed you and said "don't worry dear I am the strongest after all! When I come back we will go on long vacation and I will spoil you rotten". His was so confident you don't understand where it all went wrong. You were with everyone staring at the screen which showed satoru. He wasn't moving there was blood on ground. You just froze and went numb you just don't understand. "Why?" That's all you could think at that time. When you rushed to the scene sukuna was gone but satoru's body was still there. You touched his face suddenly tears fell down realising he isn't smiling at you. You hate this feeling in your stomach no words form you just sit there and cry hugging his figure expecting a reply. When everyone tried to pull you away from him you screamed "LET ME STAY WITH HIM HE HATES BEING ALONE!" But no one listened when you were dropped to your house by shoko you looked at her. Saying "why shoko? Why? Can't you do anything?" As more tears fall. She just sadly nods no she stayed in your house and slept on sofa while you cried all night hugging his pillow. When you woke up to an empty bed you started crying again while hugging your knees. Suddenly you felt a warm hug. You quickly rise your head seeing your daughter with beautiful blue pearl eyes you thought " just like him". You smile at her "sorry mummy made you worry" You wipe your tears and thought "it's already been 6 years huh" waking up to same nightmare every day

So yep this is it I am still manifesting he will come back!! I love him with my whole heart and nothing can change that..

[dc-al-coda]

watched Bloom Into You a lil while ago & it was super adorable and melted my heart. The aquarium date was the cutest thing, it made me so happy I could cry. Also that ending theme is a total bop. I haven't read the manga, just saw the 13-episode series - still, it makes so much sense that the author started out writing Touhou doujinshi.

Considering the show on its own, without the manga to add context, it feels kinda incomplete. The characters have complicated discussions about romance that never really get resolved. It's most glaring with Maki: a character who reads as basically aroace, but doesn't really get enough screen time to exist outside the context of Yuu and Touko's relationship. But Yuu also expresses feelings that feel aroace-adjacent, spending so much time talking about having never felt love with anyone.

The story has drawn some criticism about how those aspects of the characters are handled, and I'd agree that if it were fully about exploring aroace identity then it didn't do a great job. But, that's not really what it's about - it's about the particular relationship between the two main characters, and their understandings of what "love" means.

From the very beginning of the show, Yuu talks about how she "knows what love means", basing her understanding on music and stories. She talks about how love feels like fireworks, like floating and reaching the stars. Because of this understanding, she then believes that the feelings she has for Touko aren't love, because she doesn't feel those specific things. What interests me, though, is the potential that Yuu might be wrong about love - or at least, it isn't as universally consistent of a feeling as she makes it out to be. Maybe "love" isn't some explosion of passion, but something more down-to-earth. At least, it feels that way for me.

In fact, I think the questioning and uncertainty, and the attempt to understand it all, is the driving force of the show. That's why the central plotline is about the student council holding a stage show. Both Touko and Yuu find themselves trying to follow pre-existing "scripts" for their lives. Touko tries to follow the script of what she though her sister was, and Yuu wants to follow the script of how love manifests. Both of them are challenged to move past those scripts -The show makes a point of how Touko's view of her sister isn't based on reality, but her own perception. Similarly, I've come to realize as an aro person that "love", as Yuu and I understood it, was simply thrust upon us by the world and shrunk the possibility space of how we could be. I had to work to break that script in my own life.

The show never explicitly states this idea - I wish that Yuu had been given some more explicit realizations along the same lines as Touko. I do think the final episode leans in that direction, though. Especially when Yuu says "People are self-contradictory. It's normal." She claims things are "normal" a few times throughout, but this instance feels the most genuine. Before, when Yuu said something was "normal", she meant that it was normal in the understood script of the world. But finally, in the aquarium, she makes a claim about normalcy just based on her own observations. The following scene, where Yuu and Touko improvise a scene from their stageplay, really enhances the feeling of accepting uncertainty.

If we don't read the show as being about a specific idea of "love", or the specific identities of the characters, then the whole thing feels more consistent. The plot of the stageplay even directly parallels Touko's arc: the main character, played by Touko, doesn't know her own identity and feels forced to choose one ("subtle" is not a word I would use to describe this show). Yuu is so determined to figure out how to love Touko, but how can she love someone who has such a tenuous grasp on her own personhood?

Maybe that's why Yuu and Touko are so compelling as a pair of characters - Yuu basically knows herself without knowing love, but Touko knows love while not knowing herself. Sayaka works as a contrast here - she knows how love feels, and knows herself, but Touko doesn't find love with her. Yuu and Touko both become interested in, and want something from each other, but their goals also contrast. Yuu wants to learn more about the experience of love with Touko. Meanwhile, Touko seems perfectly prepared (if not exactly happy) to just bask in the feelings she knows. She tells Yuu multiple times not to fall in love with her, because she doesn't like herself. In spite of this, Yuu's motivation shifts throughout the show - from trying to fall in love, to helping Touko come to terms with herself. The relationship feels a lot less one-sided once this shift happens.

The balance is important because initially, when Touko is expressing her feelings, she comes on REALLY strong. This has been noted by critics, and it's hard not to read Touko's constant attempts to touch and kiss Yuu early on as a little pushy. Especially when Yuu makes it explicit that the feelings aren't mutual. It's a risky tone for the show, and lasts a surprisingly long time - even up to the athletics day. And when Touko says stuff like "I don't know if I'll be able to hold back", it's kind of a red flag. Still, a lot of effort is made to have the characters discuss what is okay, and Yuu is able to establish some boundaries which Touko respects. By the end of the show, the characters have a much better understanding of each other, and they both seem mutually invested in a relationship of some kind.

As cute as the characters are together, the relationship doesn't seem to me like one that'll last very long. It feels more like a whirlwind romance that sweeps these girls up in newly discovered feelings. I think it does end up lasting a long time in the manga, which likely tracks with the added context. But even if the relationship does or doesn't end, it'd still be meaningful to both girls. That's why I like that the show ends on an inconclusive note. Yuu and Touko never form an explicit relationship, no identities are ever explicitly realized, and we never even see the stageplay that constitutes a majority of the plot. It works, though, because this is a story about a journey instead of a destination. Just watching these characters try to parse their complicated emotions and relationships (and their queer experiences) is captivating. It can be a little cringe-inducing to watch high school girls going through awkward phases, but that's ultimately what makes it relatable and utterly adorable as the characters make mistakes, learn, and grow. Through the journey, the characters find ways to bloom into themselves.

Anyway, thanks for reading

[reverieaa]

Hi! I'm the same anon as last one who read your 'Change of clothes' (can I be your anon? i'll take any emoji)

So I had a spiritual epiphany which was sparked this morning after going through my notes of states posts (yours as well as @neobora and @remcycl333) and I wanted to share. I think the non-duality concepts finally tied in for me.

This is my epiphany:

I think the true purpose of manifesting as humans is to realise our true selves as infinite beings. To remember & reclaim our limitless power and transcend from the limitations and illusions of the material world we were born into. When you truly understand the law and can practice it well, you are no longer a slave to the material world and its rules. You are unshakeable because you know you are far greater than this temporary shadow. You realised the truth that your reality is whatever you choose it to be, through your awareness. And the process of coming to this realisation, of reclaiming our power, is the awakening & liberation itself. The desire for material things was only the carrot on the stick that led us to learn to manifest, to exercise our power, never the true end goal. The true reward is knowing we are God. We always were and always will be but we needed to remember. And this is how.

Thank you again for your lovely posts. I never thought I'd finally 'get' states but I think I do now. I now read loa posts out of interest & as a reminder of my own power, no longer looking for *the* thing that's finally going to get me what I want. It's always only ever been within me. I can't look outside to fulfill it.

Funny thing is I actually manifested through states a year ago with a few things I didn't care about. I was like 'oh I'll give what I read a try" without any expectations and I realise now I executed it perfectly. The reason I overconsumed, spiralled and couldn't persist when it came to "big" desires is because I was still identifying with the outer man in the material world which falsely believed that it had to work hard to get "big" things it wanted (hence thinking I had to constantly be thinking or doing something about it like doing methods & routines to have it); I hadn't actually realised my true self and true power and identified with it.

Now I know it's accepting that state of being within you, identifying with your inner self (the infinite being) and dismissing the shadow that the 3D is. I also want to credit/give a shoutout to this reddit user Own_Ad7567 who is a shifter as they contributed to my eventual epiphany. I realised shifting is the same essence of what is talked about here, it was very fresh, interesting & eye opening to read about the law framed in yet another way. Their post 'For those who struggle with doubts and focus problems' in particular is really good but all their posts were fun to read! They said:

"Understand that your 3d, or physical reality (basically what you perceive around you) is the least real part of reality. It is just a projection of the 4d. Like a cinema: what happens on the screen is just a projection. If you want to change what's being projected on the screen, dont focus on changing the screen, change the film and the screen is quickly going to be showing something different

I know on loablr the most used analogy was the mirror & face but it never really clicked for me until I read that! And then afterwards I read @neobora's 'Through a different lens' post & it just solidified my understanding.

Wow I'm amazed at how long this post is. Maybe it will help someone else too. Thank you again for your writing all those posts and answering all the asks. I still haven't read most of it but that's just how impactful your posts are. I gained a lot of clarity just from reading a few. I am truly grateful to you, @neobora, @remcycl333, Own_Ad7567 and everyone who shares their understanding of the law. Thank you guys!

You are absolutely amazing, anon! Thank you for your kind and sweet words, and your wisdom. I hope this helps sb put there too and I'm certain that it will. I'm seeing it more and more everyday in this community, despite us having upset and downs. I'm proud that you've finally reached peace in your journey like this, and I'm honored that you let me be part of it, along with the other bloggers

You can be my anon is you wish, I'm not very active here but would it be ok for now if you went by an initial or nickname?

[puck-luck]

I’m not hating on YOU. Just on how slow and rude the characters are being made out to be. Honey should stop being so rude to Trevor, give him some credit for putting up with her attitude. Bea is genuinely for the streets. Again not hating on YOU because I like your writing style plus reading your other works i really like. I get I don’t have to read it if I don’t like it but I’ve waited and gave it time for stuff to start picking up.

I appreciate that you're not hating on me because you enjoy my writing style. That's always nice to hear. I'm glad you've read my stuff and even tried to stick it out for STG.

I want to reply to your concerns, so I typed up a couple of bullet points in my notes app. In a very in-character moment for me, it became lengthy. I'm hiding it under this Read More so that no one has to see it if they don't want to. Tbh, that includes you— and I don't mean that in a mean way, even if it might come off like that. It's hard to convey feeling through words on a page, which brings me to my first point:

1. A lot of Honey's attitude is written as means for banter, since Trevor knows that she doesn't mean it in such a negative way— he's aware that she's deflecting. Maybe I need to make that clearer and now I know, which means I can try and work on that! Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

2. Honey has trauma, which I've started to explain in the story. It's going to be fleshed out more and she WILL work through it, but the girl has some pretty complex PTSD when it comes to relationships. That's the reason why she's so hot and cold with Trevor. She knows what she's feeling, but she's not ready to accept it yet.

3. In Chapter 5, the most recent chapter, Honey admits to Trevor that she's the difficult one. She's well aware that she's having trouble with this new relationship and that manifests in her attitude towards Trevor. He says he doesn't mind (basically) and she just hums BECAUSE it bothers her that she's being hard to deal with, and yet she can't stop herself. Again— it's her complex PTSD.

HERE is a screenshot of my Google doc so you can read the scene itself:

4. Fair. Bea is for the streets. Yet, at the same time, I don't see the real issue behind this: everyone involved is a consenting adult that is fully aware of the situation. Everyone knows that Bea is hooking up with the guys in the house. If the guys didn't want to hook up with her, they wouldn't— like how Luke turns her down in this most recent chapter. She's also a girl in her 20s... I know a lot of girls in college that made goals to sleep with entire exec boards of frats or collect each frat president or, in an extreme case, a girl that wanted to hook up with every brother in our pledge class, the pledge class above us, and the pledge class below us. If the girl wants to be a slut, then she can be a slut. & that's how I'm writing her. More power to her. Things might even change for Bea over time, like how real relationships go...

5. As for the slowness: I know that my chapters have gotten super long. I keep getting carried away and writing more than I mean to. It's because I like this project and the characters I've created. BUT, each section is a day. Each chapter is a week. Honey and Trevor have known each other for just over a month and I PERSONALLY am not the kind to hook up with a guy I've just met. Yes, at times it seems long and I know that it drags at times because I can feel it dragging while I write— but I am trying to make this as realistic and detailed as possible. Between the whipped cream scene and the blowjob scene, 10 days passed. That's SUCH a short amount of time, especially since the pair didn't see each other as much that week. Honey works, Trevor trains, and a lot of that is off screen because I think it's boring to write when this is a ROMANCE.

6. If I had an editor, they could probably help me cut this shit down and make it drag less. I DON'T have an editor though and this is a very detailed rough draft of a story that would probably change a LOT before publishing IF I WERE TO GET IT PUBLISHED.

7. I apologize that you have waited and hoped for quicker advancement in Honey and Trevor's story. To me, it's not a fast story. It's going to pick up... on my outline I have Trevor and Honey hooking up 3 times next week. You're welcome to hang in there for that if you want to. It's up to you.

And finally... I apologize that my explanation was so long. And probably slow. I just want to be thorough with your concerns. If you choose not to read anymore of STG, then good for you. I'll still be churning out oneshots when I can and I hope you like those more.

I really do appreciate the feedback. I hope this response didn't seem rude because I'm not trying to be. It's also 2:30am for me so I really should go to bed before I ACTUALLY get my feelings hurt or start lashing out... which I've been known to do when tired. So. Goodnight Anon. Thanks for not hating on ME and I hope my explanations were good enough for you.

[languajix]

Regarding Hold every memory au!

Since Ghost in this au is shown to have mystic powers and can actively harness it (ie: the geometric shapes on his arms in the first fic and the threads of his bros) what else can he do aside from threads? Can he do smth similar to Donnie’s Ninpo if he pushed himself ? And how did he get that mystic stuff? Did he always have it but never manifested as strongly due to the nature of the 2003 verse (like the dragon thing ) or is this current mystic power a result of his long term exposure in the 2018 verse? Also how do you think his bros will react to their bro’s Mystic powers that he definitely didn’t have before?

Ps: I love your AU so much. Your fics are so well written and characterisation is so good. Ghost in the shell is such a well written story but it’s so, so very sad 😭 its makes me so happy to see a world where is Ghost happier out there. Also sorry for the long ask I’m just extra curious, Ghost being actively aware and sorta using the mystic energy inside him is so interesting and has so much potential hehe. Like imagine a scenario where Ghost/Don in a fit of protective rage either cuz of the tots or his bros or both does a boom of mystic and everyone goes HUH??

Hello!!

I want to start by saying the usual disclaimer that anything I'm about to say applies solely to Hold Every Memory, because the more this AU grows, the more of my own ideas and wishes and things get fed into it.

Also, very little is set into absolute stone until it appears in a HEM story for sure - a lot of the time, as I'm writing, things will spin a little differently than I expect because they need to for character or plot reasons, or words will randomly appear on the screen and I'll learn how things work directly from my subconscious, which is exciting. But still! I have been thinking about this stuff, so I'm really happy to have the opportunity to ramble :D

And don't apologize for the long ask! I loved it! I just hope you don't mind a looooong reply. Lots of stuff in here that some might consider spoilery, as a heads up!

--

I think Don had a groundwork of some different type of mystic potential from his own universe, but environmental exposure to empyrean/mystics over the years, maybe more direct exposure courtesy of Big Mama?, brought it from a latent capability to something much closer to the surface, significantly strengthened it, and shaped it a little to fit his new universe. Connecting to his brothers in the Battle Nexus, that rush of soul energy and powerful love, unlocked it! Battle Nexus went boom.

I think at a base level, he's capable of doing standard mystic stuff - activating and using mystic weapons and devices, like how Splinter could use the ōdachi in "Battle Nexus New York," for example. Casting some spells, too, and using common mystic techniques. If he were to practice or be trained specifically in the use of mystics in battle, he could use it to boost his speed and strength. He'll never be as powerful as a Hamato, though, with that well of ninpō power at their disposal.

Creating the threads wasn't any sort of innate, specialized ability at the time. It was an act of desperation. Don's burst of incredible willpower in that moment shaped his soul and his suddenly active mystic powers in ways they weren't originally made to be used. Over time, though, like stretching a muscle, the threads become central to his mystic 'specialization,' as it were. So if Leo = portals, Raph = energy projections of himself, Don =… connection? Possibly?

(In SAINW, there's a moment where Michelangelo mentions that "without you, it just didn't work," framing Donny as the lynchpin keeping his family together. (I do think it could have happened if any of them had disappeared, but let's focus on Donny for the angst and the parallels here.) And in HEM, Don is the one tying together his old family and his new family. Always at the center.)

If he wasn't constantly stretched between realities and everyone was in the same universe, he'd always know where they were, instinctively. They could be across town or half a world away, but if Don thought about them, his head would turn unerringly in that precise direction. It might include some amount of empathy/telepathy too.

One thing I'm solid on is that he has to come into contact, spiritually or physically, to someone to develop a connection, a thread. It might happen quite quickly and almost thoughtlessly with the counterparts of all his old family and friends upon meeting them, and for any new friends he meets it might happen once he truly considers them family.

(Which makes me think of how funny it would be if he met Foot Recruit and found himself with a spontaneous thread to her, too - who the heck is she supposed to be??? Too late now, though, she's family, whether anybody including her wants her to be or not. Assigned Splinterson-Hamato At First Contact.)

Can he use powers similar to Donnie? He might be a teeny tiny bit of a technopath! I'd like to think that was one of the potential directions his mystic powers could have headed before the threads threw them out of wack. Infusing portals with mystic energy, a little boost when hacking the EPF's bank accounts, etc. Very little things, but enough that he and Donnie can have a little similarity to bond over as a treat.

As for surprising his brothers with his mystic powers, finding out that he had landed in a universe with witches and yokai and superpowers blew their minds, but it was all wrapped up in the overwhelming difficulty of processing that he was alive at all. They know he's been using mystics in the development of his more recent portal attempts, vaguely, but they for sure don't realize/understand the extent of what he can do. There's really no reason for him to use mystic powers in the astral plane, nothing for him to do with them and the real risk of unbalancing the delicate threads, so he just doesn't. I think seeing him use mystic powers for real would delight Mike to no end, all surface-level envy and deep excitement, Raph would think them awesome and possibly want to spar while Don is mystic boosted to see what he can do, and Leo might be proud and fascinated and maybe a little quietly jealous. If - and this is really just something I'm tossing around for fun - if Don could actually pool and distribute mystic energy through his threads, those soul-to-soul connections, then they could all benefit and get a level-up, so no jealousy for long. Honestly I think all the brothers would be super cool with Rise style mystic powers but Mike would make me a little nervous, haha

---

When I was originally starting to bounce this whole thing around in my head, I ended up with a little example snippet of what his powers could look like in practice. The telepathy/empathy bits, at least.

P.S. Thank you so much!!! It sends me over the moon, like full on walking on air for days, to hear when people like my writing style and characterization. I'm still new to putting myself out there in this way, so I stress out over it all way more than I should, and getting this kind of message makes it all worth it :D

I love GitS to death and this AU is born out of the most incredible affection for it. I wouldn't change a single thing about any of it even if I could, all those aching bruises and all, but writing an alternate universe branch where Everything's Beautiful and Very Little Hurts is just cathartic as heck. I'm just glad reading this AU is scratching the same itch for some people that writing it has been!! Because it really is a joy to write.

[rockybloo]

I keep forgetting I have a lil book of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales

I on the lowest of keys cannot remember how I got it (I know I bought it from somewhere and it didn't just MANIFEST in my home) but the memory is so foggy compared to like...all my other books I've gotten and I think that is so ominous yet fitting???

It's especially weird because I always remember I have it, think it's just little bits and pieces of fables and not the entire stories themselves (since I know some fairy tale books do that so you can blaze through them when reading them to children), flip through the index and pages and see for a fact "Nope it actually has the WHOLE fable in here", make a note to remember it for later before shelving the book back on my bookcase, and then forgetting literally everything and repeating the cycle again. WHICH IS ALSO SO FUCKIN' WEIRD BECAUSE I HAVE RELATIVELY GREAT MEMORY???

Maybe typing this all out will break this weird ass curse I got with this book--

BUT ANYWAYS

THIS IS GREAT THAT I HAVE IT since I obviously need it for Beanstalked purposes because I like reading the original or oldest retelling of fables so I can have more fun with how I wanna twist a fable for a character...and I like being able to hold the actual fable in front of me instead of squinting at pixels on a computer screen.

I now got a book that is comprised of a good chunk of the original Grimm Brother's collection, a version of the Alice in Wonderland book but with pictures (still Lewis Carroll's writing it's just that there is artwork now which is SUPER helpful for me when it comes to understanding just wtf is going on because Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass put my brain into overdrive just trying to COMPUTE what is going on...which is lowkey the point since it's all nonsense BUT STILL), and a collection of Hans Christian Anderson fairy tales.

I HELLA want a copy of Carlo Collodi's Pinocchio (I searched so damn hard last time I went to a bookstore and I couldn't find one book of it save for a sparks note version in the kid's section) BUT I AM GONNA KEEP HUNTIN' FOR IT!

It'd be cool if I could find a version of Joseph Jacob's collection of fairy tales as well as one of Charles Perrault's just to cover most of my bases with Beanstalked.