#i didn't have the note with my cardiologist's number on it so i will need to schedule the follow-up appointment tomorrow

[gynandromorph]

the echocardiogram was... interesting. got to see and hear all sorts of my heart's innards, but i'm no cardiologist, so i have no idea what they meant

[nightcall99]

Notes from 27.2.24

It's funny that your HS said that. I was wondering again last night about what the point of coming back to the chat was when I can't feel anybody in there. If we're not here then when are we coming back? The answer came but it was like one cell coming alive in a body that's dead, I couldn't hear. You answered it aloud so that I could.

Dream was weird. Being slung over someone's shoulder is how it feels to be an NPC. Like I'm there but not there. I'm there but I'm trying not to make a sound or any movement. And I'm not paying attention to what's going because it feels irrelevant.

The two ladies who look the same. I can't tell the difference, but they do look different. There's no energy signature to hone in on and play compare and contrast with. It's matching nothing to nothing. It reminds me of the other week where I did stocktake at work. We had an external company oversee the task and I was reporting to the lady in charge who was named Helen. I kept bothering Helen because I didn't know how to use the barcode scanner and maybe the 3rd or 4th time of coming to her to ask, I mistook someone else to be her. I was literally staring into this other person's eyes, not realising it wasn't Helen until the lady finally said Hey, I'm not Helen. They physically looked very similar.

I dunno what the split up is about. It doesn't feel literal, the bunch of us aren't in disagreement in the other realm or anything. It's something to do with the HS and the NPC. My earring showing up is trying to show me something about this too (beyond the obvious that reality is glitching). This morning my mum randomly showed me a picture of the fancy birthday cake I had when I turned 2. A cake literally shaped in the number 2. She also showed me a picture of the record card that was given to her in the hospital after my sister's birth. Just a simple card with stuff like room number, birth time, birth weight, parent’s names etc. She said the doctor was the very same doctor who delivered me. I looked him up. He died last month at age 91. I had joked yesterday (was it yesterday? Recently.) with AL that I wanted to find the doctor who delivered me and file a complaint about being born (lol).

I've been lending a few thoughts here and there toward the recall. Nothing forced, just a gradual release of the perimeter around my brain, that will eventually lead to the breaking of a dam. You see, for ages now I've completely and utterly blocked out anything to do with the vaccine and the plandemic. The NPCs in my life are to believe the official narrative, I did not want any experiences suggesting otherwise. And this has been largely the case, save for maybe less than a handful of instances but they were all within well within the limits of what I can handle and no more. I work in healthcare, so it's kind of funny in a way. I've simply refused to see anything about it and that's that. There was this one time before I decided this, before my one year off, where a hospital cardiologist happened to be in the pharmacy to purchase a blood pressure monitor and overheard a conversation between AL and I. I hadn't had it yet, and never would, but AL was complaining about the chest pain she'd been getting after her second dose. This doctor warned us not to have anymore, speaking of the things he'd witnessed. I subconsciously decided then and there that I didn't want anything like that to happen again. Not out in the open. Maybe it's cowardice. I just knew that my co-workers looked really uncomfortable while this was happening and it felt really low-vibe. I don't need to be absorbing other people's feelings of regret. I could barely deal with that. So there was no way in hell I was going to sign up for being the shoulder to cry on for people with new cancer diagnoses and pericarditis and cerebral palsy and sudden adult death syndrome, all of that. That's fucked up.

So I've been letting up a bit with that. I still don't want to be having any low-vibe conversations about it but if it's all controlled by me anyway, a little comment here and there is all good. I know what I want and I can make it happen. RAT tests are out of stock from the supplier again and my neighbour was telling me yesterday about how three doctors from the same local clinic have quit. They were touting the reason to be retirement but she kept saying these doctors, 'they'd had enough.' Something about how they were under pressure, and something about how covid anti-virals are being paid for through tax dollars. I dunno. I wasn't paying attention. Maybe the doctors are feeling pressure to prescribe something they don't want to. I'm purposely creating things to be vague and easily deniable to start off with I suppose. I'm feeling things out. My neighbour is the worst, so why not start with her, since I can easily discount anything she says as the ramblings of a senile old lady.

But it doesn't have to be so slow, either. As I said, I'm feeling things out. It can start as whispers getting closer in auditory distance, and then all of a sudden, a clear announcement on a PA system. It's up to me.

[jiminrings]

take five (2)

pairing: yoongi x reader

wordcount: 8k

glimpse: dr. min's distraught on how you're still best friends with kim taehyung, aka your ex-boyfriend who's now famous.

alternatively, yoongi gets a dose of his own medicine and he seriously considers going to a cardiologist for his heartaches from chasing after you.

[ a continuation to part one ]

[ angst, so much pining but this time it's yoongi's 24/7 occupation, jealousy n insecurity, eventual fluff ]

notes: i really didn't expect a lot of requests for this piece to have a continuation but alas here it is!! the main theme of the asks i received is to make dr. min suffer and honestly i am not against it <3 once again, this is inspired by yang seok-hyeong and choo min-ha’s dynamic from hospital playlist and u don’t necessarily have to watch it in order to read this!! ok anyways pls enjoy this piece :D

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

Yoongi has four chances left.

Four is an even number by literal definition but he feels that it's odd. It’s a number that’s unfair and unforgiving and he just realized today how much hatred he could have for a damn digit.

Was it a smart move that he immediately asked you out two seconds after he proposed the offer of getting to ask you out for only five times? Not really. But in actuality, Yoongi would’ve thought it was the smartest move if only you accepted. Yet of course, you rejected him (he can’t blame you) and now he realized how dispensable he really is.

He’s never really chased someone per se. Never really been the type to question nor prod but he feels like he’s the nosiest being ever when it comes to you — you, who isn’t all that crazy for him nowadays.

And he understands! Yoongi truly understands where he went wrong and as much you assured him that he’s not obligated to like you back, he still gave you motive and means and that atleast has to count for something.

He’s paying the price, that much he knows. He’s filling in your shoes and even if you’ve stood countless of times next to him, only for him to look down and see how your work shoes are smaller than his, he feels like it’s an infinite void he’s stepped into.

“You know that Y/N’s my oldest friend, right? Knew her before I knew you?” Jimin asked him as soon as Yoongi spilled the beans on how his interaction went with you, adding in a half-ass apology of how he threw him out of the breakroom.

“Mhmm. Is this the part where you give me the guy best friend speech?” He snickered but he feels the worry in his tummy, not admitting to how Jimin may be younger but he can truly intimidate him from time to time.

“Close,” he chuckled, putting a spoonful of the ice cream you’ve treated him to out of the blue. “But I just want you to know that I know her the most, and I know that she doesn’t forget. Doesn’t really give in that easily. Doesn’t really budge when it’s not needed.”

Yoongi’s lips pursed at that. “How do you want me to take that?”

Jimin’s intentions are pure. Not ill, but rather honest. It’s his way of telling his friend that chasing after his other friend wouldn’t be easy. Not exactly futile but it’s close to it, having had the knowledge that when you give up, you truly give up. “You take it however you want to.”

It’s that small interaction with your closest friend that pushes Yoongi to suck up a breath and let himself be embarrassed, knowing that you’ve done it numerous times before for him.

“Good morning.”

Yoongi chirps from behind you and all the remaining grogginess from your short nap you take before opening gets detached, resisting the urge to yawn.

“Hi.”

Dr. Min tries not to smile when he sees you blink away the sleep-induced tears rapidly but he fails anyway, learning that he has nothing to hide.

His morning routines are different to say the least. He buys his own coffee now and only throws his bag when he sees you within the crowd of a staff greeting him, regardless if you’re the one who catches it or not.

He doesn’t go straightly to his office but instead he aims straight for the breakroom and if you haven’t arrived there, then he’d wait. He knows not to impose on your routine that you’ve set but there’s no harm in trying to slightly impose, just enough to make his presence known.

He waits for five minutes and tries to just casually give you his treat of the morning, just as casual as if he woke up from bed and suddenly decided to buy himself cocoa crepe cake and accidentally bought one more slice, and even more hauntingly, accidentally packaged it up in a lunchbox with your name on it so it would retain its form and coolness.

All accidental and casual of course.

Yoongi, the easy-going guy he is, puts an all too-familiar cup in front of you — something that only Jimin could know how frustrated you get when you try to find it in the chiller aisles.

"The grocery was all out of this. Where did you find it?"

He smiles to himself for yet another job well done, suddenly feeling his skin prick with nervousness when you twirl the cylinder with your fingers.

Oh god, did he give you a damaged one?

Was this not your favorite flavor of pudding?

Better yet, do you even eat it at all?

It clicks in your memory why the expiration date is familiar, the pudding obviously not yet spoiled but it's the exact one you've seen before.

"How much did Jimin charge you for this?"

It's from Jimin's fridge from the grocery trip you embarked on with him just last week ago, remembering snagging the last two packs for each of you to take home. It's routine that the both of you get your groceries together despite living apart — it's routine for him to drive the cart and chuck the items from both of your lists, and it's routine for you to check the expiration dates since he clearly doesn't.

Yoongi can't find it within him to be annoyed that you found him out so quick because the entire situation itself is humorous, sheepishly scratching his nape.

"Thrice the price, I think."

You chuckle in amusement, not entirely sure if it's because Jimin managed to sell your favorite pudding for thrice the price, or it's because Yoongi bought it despite being ripped off. "Is it worth it?"

He knows you only mean the question at surface-level but he can't help to look at it a little more deeply, shrugging as what seems to be the obvious answer.

"Well you're smiling now and you're getting a spoon, so yeah, of course. I think it's worth indulging Jimin the part-time scalper."

It's nice seeing you laugh because of him. He figures that he probably must've hurt you in ways he wasn't even aware of but he tries not to dwell on it, instead looking at you face-to-face.

"Do you want more of those?" he tentatively asks and you're clueless to how his voice became meek, putting his hands behind his back as he practices the smooth flow of words in the back of his head.

You snort at the question despite sounding like a lure, answering truthfully the moment you let the pudding engulf your tiny spoon.

"I'd actually gatekeep it if I had the chance to."

"I called around," Yoongi starts off and all the shakiness has disappeared from his voice, a solid front as he risks one of the four chances that he's entitled to. "I have this close friend who owns a restaurant. He has whole tubs of these and he said he'd give it to me for free."

Your eyes widen considerably and he takes it positively, a huge relief that he has so many connections that are seemingly in his favor each time.

"Do you wanna go to the restaurant? I'll pick it up with you so I can see too why you love it so much."

He sees you eat a spoonful with your eyes twinkling, no joke at all when Jimin swore up and down that this is your favorite. He shoves down the hope he feels because second tries don't always end up victorious because they don't even rhyme at all.

"No thank you," you hum, shaking your head. "But can I have the number of your friend though?"

Yoongi's eye twitches and he tilts his head at your reply that simultaneously involves him and not at all at the same exact time.

"For uh, f-for pudding purposes, right?"

"Gatekeeping your friend now, Dr. Min? Why, is he handsome?"

You joke but the concept of it doesn't sit snugly on his bottom lips because it weighs it down considerably into a frown, his eyebrows scowling as he thinks of a family friend with the name of Kim Seokjin.

The despair he feels is short-lived because it's replaced with annoyance, the tiniest bit of green tinting his vision. "No. Definitely not. He's unattractive. Undesirable. His only personality trait is that he's friends with me. Stop asking."

Dr. Min's answer is too blunt to the point that you find yourself coughing, looking at the cup in front of you while you talk in passing.

"I assume he's friends with Jimin. I'll just ask him then."

Yoongi snaps out of his jealousy-fueled reverie and he physically shakes the thought away from his mind, mumbling at first. "What? No, no, don't do that. I'll just-" he feels for the car keys in his pocket, making a mental note to drive to the restaurant right after closing.

"I'll bring it to you myself tomorrow. No need to ask for his number."

( ♡ )

Hoseok has no interest and didn't really mean to, but he thinks he's unconsciously memorized and met the entirety of all the personalities that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator could ever come up with.

He thought it was stupid at first but now that there's been five separate clients who went to the front desk to ask for some more magazines while in reality, they were just chatting him up in attempt to have their slot moved earlier, it's not all so stupid anymore.

What he's been doing is giving the same magazines each time with a different page opened, all with a customer service smile saying that it was new.

"Do we have a lot of patients today?"

He almost grits his teeth at yet another client but he's relieved when he looks up and it's just Yoongi, lazily leaned against the counter with a bored look on his face.

"Yeah, like a hoarde. I don't think I'd even be able to use my phone in-between."

"You use your phone during your shift?"

Hoseok merely scoffs despite being flustered that he just admitted to his boss that he's not all that attentive and uses every second of his time in using Excel and arranging patients' charts.

"No you use your phone during your shift. I don't know what you're talking about."

Yoongi doesn't add onto such a childish remark from his childhood friend that only calls him Dr. Min when there's actual people around, unbothered enough that he diverts the conversation smoothly.

"Is Jimin in? All the other doctors are here too?"

"Of course he's in. Of course all the other doctors are in," Hoseok furrows his brows and stops typing on his keyboard that's greased up with his hand sanitizer. "Yoongi you literally own this place why do you — this is routine already. What's with you?"

"Nothing," the guy in question huffs, crossing his arms as he pathetically throws back the question. "What's with you?"

Hoseok's clueless on why Yoongi's chatting him up in the front desk when it's clear that the clients in the waiting room could clearly see their doctor doing everything else besides accommodate them, a little lost for words.

"Long queue for me?"

He exhales at how Yoongi still won't budge and leave his front desk, definitely certain now that once the doctor leaves, he'd be hounded again by impatient clients.

"You have the longest one today. Beat Jimin only by two patients more," he mumbles, making it the official verdict for the little competition that the two owners and main doctors have of which would get the more clients.

"Cool, cool," he's only slightly amused by his win of the day because it's clear that his mind's in other places, looking at his back slyly before turning to Hoseok again. "Assign Y/N only to me today."

His secretary actually deadpans at him as if he's not surprised at all but still insulted nonetheless. "But the clinic's busy," he motions to the hoarde of people that are a mix of appointments and walk-ins. "All the nurses are free game to the doctors because it's hectic."

Yoongi sucks in a faux gasp, motioning to Hoseok to come close to him so he could whisper.

The younger guy rolls his eyes but he knows that Yoongi won't leave him alone until he doesn't, begrudgingly coming closer across the desk.

"I own the clinic."

Hoseok gasps lewdly to indulge the guy, making him roll his eyes in return. He beckons him back closer so he could cup his hands around his ear, eyes wide to make it look like he's never been more serious of anything in his life.

"Do you want me to buy you a collar so you could wear it for Y/N?"

Yoongi would've smacked Hoseok at the back of his head if only you hadn't made your appearance known at the front desk with a frantic gaze, making him straighten his posture immediately.

Hobi smiles at you like he always does and you wave at him before you speak to Dr. Min, unnerved at the daggers they send to each other during the split second you looked away.

"Doc where have you been? Ms. Seri keeps looking at her Rolex."

Right. Seri, of course. Yoongi's reminded of why he came out of the procedure room in the first place with the excuse that he's getting the materials even if you've already brought in the cart.

He's reminded of how he's the best in the game and that's why Seri, his ex-wife's nosy best friend that's just dead-set on dipping her heels in every occasion, was awkwardly left alone with you in the procedure room until you had to excuse yourself because Dr. Min's taking too long.

He walks lethargically back into the room and you have to slow down your pace every now and then because it'd be rude if you walk ahead of the doctor, even if he's intentionally taking ages to stroll.

Botox on the forehead. Enclosed room with Seri and Y/N. Less than twenty minutes.

Yoongi inhales to soldier through it all, carelessly opening the door to see the immediately inquisitive gaze of Seri who looks more than excited to see him again.

"Disinfectant, please."

He wastes no time into making Seri lie down to get it all over with, making you fumble for the pad as you swallow down the guffaw when Dr. Min cleanses the area a little more vigorously than needed, seeing the pinkness that's blooming on Miss Seri's glass skin.

She hums at it but Yoongi knows that she already has a question blooming underneath her tongue, only a matter of seconds before he's cornered.

"How's Jihye?"

There it is.

If you're shocked to hear the name, you definitely don't show it because you barely even flinch. You only have an inkling of who's connected to who, but you don't have the faintest idea how Miss Seri's closely related to Miss Jihye as a token nosy friend.

If Yoongi's annoyed to hear the unnecessary mention of his name, he definitely shows it.

"Marker, please."

He only bites gently as he looks at you with worry that you can decipher, a look that baffles you for all the wrong reasons because he looks apologetic even.

He quietly marks Seri's skin as you hand her the mirror to observe, only leaning back slightly to see the symmetry. It's quiet besides Seri's hums, the default explanation Dr. Min has to do when it comes to botox not being uttered because the girl already knows it enough for the amount of times she's been in this chair

"Jihye and I are divorced now, Seri. You were like the third person to ever know."

He's met with a knowing chuckle because she was indeed one of the first people to ever know, knowing that he wouldn't be surprised at all when someone tells him that she was the one who leaked the news to the press because it's not far-fetched at all.

Seri's more than satisfied with the markings, handing you back the mirror. "Jihye's single. You know that right?"

"Numbing cream, please."

Yoongi isn't interested at the slightest bit and it shows with how his eyes look sleepy, his hand waiting for you to hand him the container as he doesn't even chuckle at the unwarranted input of his patient.

"Hmm, she is? Good for her," he sing-songs but it sounds the furthest thing from entertaining, feeling compelled to slather on a whole lot of cream to the point Seri wouldn't even be able to feel until the next month.

It's clear that he's annoyed and there's no point in covering it up. Even when he was still married, he was already long-annoyed at Seri who does exceedingly well in trying to get under his skin.

She's annoying and he doesn't even know why Jihye still keeps her around. It's not pity that he feels in extension for his ex-wife, but it's just pure-hearted annoyance.

"There's this gala next week, did you know? Jihye's invited and she's also entitled to a plus one," Seri hums proudly even if unprompted. "Not every guest is privy to that."

"Syringe please, Y/N."

Yoongi ignores her all the more as he cusses infinitely in his mind because of all the times he had to cater to who happens to be his ex-wife's friend, it just had to be you who's his assistant.

Yoongi from ten minutes ago would've been happy as he requested specifically for you to Hoseok, but the present version of him wants nothing more than to usher you outside so you wouldn't have to be in the same room and endure a conversation such as this.

"I know there's a gala next week because you're not the first party-goer I've given botox to today," he mumbles as he injects, unblinking when Seri winces slightly despite the numbing cream.

"All the plus-ones are screened beforehand, you know that," she emphasizes and it hurts Yoongi right where it hurts, reminding him well-enough the times he had to walk the red carpet with the woman he doesn't want to do anything with. "Whether they walk the red carpet or not, you can't just bring a random person in there."

Yoongi can sniff from a mile away what Seri's intention is and it frustrates him to no end, a groan brewing at the back of his throat.

"You're trying to get me and Jihye back together and it's a no, Seri," he says it so sternly that it intimidates you even if it isn't directed at you. Yoongi only leans away briefly to cover the next area, looking up at you for a fraction of a second before he injects again. "Besides, my eye's set on someone special already. Lay it off already."

He takes his eyes off of you even before you could register what he said, the blankness in your face wavering at the slightest.

"Is she a model?"

"She could be if she wanted to."

"Dating already?"

"No," he answers straightly and with the way he sees Seri's lips curve as she probably has the intention to relay this to his ex-wife and 99 others, he regrets that he even gave her numbing cream in the first place. "Not yet, atleast."

"Ah, so you're single," she exclaims, her forehead once again being harshly cleansed to remove the markings but she champions through it. "And so is Jihye."

Yoongi reclines the chair suddenly that it almost has Seri recoiling in surprise, removing his gloves to discard them as he points to the door.

"Goodbye, Seri."

Miss Seri rolls her eyes and spares you a glance with her lips pouted as if to get you on her team, directing his gaze to Yoongi one last time to silently signal to you that there must be something wrong with him.

She leaves the procedure room without so much of a fight and it leaves you in the room alone with Dr. Min who's gone silent, sitting on one of the chairs with his brows furrowed in deep thought.

"I'm sorry for that."

It piques your attention instantly because you don't grasp it fully, tilting your head in question. "Why are you apologizing?"

He hangs his mouth briefly, glancing up at you with an inquiring gaze of a puppy who's pondering in misplaced remorse. "Are you mad at me?"

"I have no reason to be mad at you."

You say truthfully as you wipe down the chair, alarming Yoongi slightly because it seems to him that you don't care at all and it worries him to no end.

"A-are you sure?" he asks once again, eyes widening while he tries to look for the barest shift of attention in your eyes.

"Why would I be mad, Dr. Min? I'm not childish to throw a tantrum over your own personal affairs."

Your own personal affairs.

He doesn't know why the mere fact you've stated affects him more than it should. Better yet, it probably wasn't even a dig at him. It's just a casual answer that involved the truth and he's getting butthurt over it because he thought it would affect you.

"Y-yeah. You're right."

He swallows the lump on his throat and he feels the burst of proactiveness in his chest, lips curling as he tries to catch your gaze one more time.

He didn't plan on asking today but he just felt it in the back of his head. He's not entirely sure if it's appropriate for the moment, but it prods at his mind to try.

"If you're not mad, then would you go out with me tonight? I'm closing the clinic at five o'clock exactly."

"No," you chuckle in amusement at the suddenness of the question. "I'm not going out with you, not because I'm mad."

Yoongi tilts his head because this is the rejection he feels for the third time wherein it hits a little closer to him for each attempt that he tries, waiting for your answer still even if you wouldn't reverse it.

"Busy tonight. I need to look for a gown."

"A gown? What for?" his interest grows in your admission, straightening his posture as he knows you're bound to finish cleaning up any second now. "I can come with. I don't complain when there aren't any chairs in the shop."

You only humor him with a snort, exiting the procedure room without waiting for him.

"Next patient, Dr. Min."

( ♡ )

Jimin didn't really know what to do this weekend.

He made no prior plans and his rest day remains unmarked and untouched. He doesn't have the slightest clue on what he should do today, but he knows for sure that this isn't something he'd think about in the first try.

"Hang out with me."

Yoongi says as he's sitting on the other end of Jimin's couch, sprawled while cuddled up to a throw pillow because after all, it must've been exhausting to invite himself over to his friend's house and decide to spend some time with him.

"You already came over, we're already hanging out."

He isn't entirely sure if what he's seeing is correct because as far as he knew, he was the clingier out of the duo. He's the one who comes over to Yoongi's place and buys all the snacks — not this. Not the other way around.

Yoongi must've probably picked up a theme along the way too because he came over wearing matching pajamas and made and off-hand comment of how Jimin's sleep shirt looks ratty, therefore making him change into a set. They're vaguely matching at this point and Jimin just badly wants to know what the hell is going on with his friend's mind.

"No we're not. We're just sitting together on a couch after I had to see you struggling to mirror your phone to your TV."

Yoongi's clingy and if he's entirely being honest, he didn't want to be lonely tonight. Watching replays on his phone didn't satiate him enough and you're not asking him out to go do something in the weekends, so he resorts to the next big thing — crash at Jimin's place so he wouldn't feel alone.

The host huffs because he struggled for atleast ten minutes to mirror his phone, giving Yoongi more than an eyeful of his recent searches and all the photos he's took with neighborhood cats outside the clinic.

"I think your definition of hanging out revolves around talking about Y/N."

"N-no it's-" he stammers over nothing but he gives it up when he's shot with a look that he doesn't sound believable at all, "that's justified."

Jimin decides to let it go because Yoongi dodges the topic of you altogether, probably too sheepish to admit that he only has two tries left and he hasn't made you agree even once, but he knows it nonetheless.

It wasn't embarrassing; if anything, it's adorable. He knows that Yoongi's never the one to chase and it's a little heartwarming to see how determined he is.

Yoongi moves his hair out of the way that's become longer, the blonde being faded at this point. "Why are we watching the gala livestream anyway?"

That gains the younger one's attention instantaneously because he just about remembers to rant, dropping the chip back to his bowl because talking would be the first priority at his list.

"Remember Soyeon?" he asks and the image of the petite celebrity flashes on Yoongi's mind, making him nod. Jimin's relieved to know that they're on the same page because otherwise, he wouldn't have someone to share his sentiment with. "Gave her a rhinoplasty a week ago and I explicitly told her that it would bruise. Like I literally just removed the splint yesterday."

"Yikes," Yoongi winces at the mental image, knowing that the bruising that comes with it isn't subtle at all. "Do you think her team managed to cover it up?"

"The nose? No. Definitely not. She didn't want me to do it subtly," Jimin snorts as he takes a swig of his beer, swallowing bitterly before continuing. "But the bruising? I really wanna see if they did good."

Yoongi turns his gaze to the huge TV in front of him (this has to atleast cover half of Jimin's electricity bill) and sees the numerous faces walking the red carpet, recognizing some of them yet not really all that amazed.

"Mhmm, they really need to pack it in with a sponge. That's gonna take a lot of pressure, especially with the layers they'd need."

He sees people walking left and right and Yoongi's struggling to find interest within it all, only keeping his eyes on the screen to look out for Soyeon because he wants to dish in it too.

His eyesight's clear without the need for prescription glasses yet he feels as if he's being deceived by his own self, unsure if he's even happy to have quite such the skill to spot you in a crowd.

"Is that Y/N?"

The words tumble out of his mouth before he could contain them and he finds himself standing immediately to get closer to the screen, making Jimin fumble for his glasses and do the same.

It's not before Jimin cusses and jabs his finger to the screen that he realizes that it's unmistakably you. It truly couldn't be anyone else and seeing the person right beside you, as much as Yoongi wouldn't want to see him, he's certain that it's you and not anyone else.

"Holy shit."

Jimin's voice borders surprise but he's not in disbelief. He's laughing and chuckling to himself while Yoongi just stays rooted to his position, mouth dry and eyes glazed at the same time.

It's truly you and you're gorgeous in your gown that's silky yet glitters underneath the light. It's clear that you own it right away with how Yoongi knows no one could even come close to giving it the same justice as you.

You're dashing even if the livestream isn't the clearest and it's when you walk away from the red carpet that he's reminded of who you're with, the guy he's seen before wearing a suit that fits the theme of what adorns your body.

"Taehyung's her ex-boyfriend, right?" Yoongi clears his throat and crosses his arms, looking down on his feet as he retreats back to the couch. "What's she doing there with him?"

Jimin looks as shocked as Yoongi is but he doesn't feel conflicted at all. Unlike him, his mind's at peace and it isn't straying to the fact that you're with your ex-boyfriend in a gala that's filled with prying eyes and with no context at all.

Yoongi's no stranger at all to the public eye but something in his stomach just churns that in the first moment you're out there, it had to be with Kim Taehyung the model — Kim Taehyung, the ex-boyfriend.

"I don't know, she told me at first that she wasn't sure if she'd be accompanying him."

And it's true that you've mentioned it in passing to Jimin as you asked him if he knew of any shops with gowns that wouldn't break the bank, with its main purpose only for you to serve as a plus one.

"You knew?" he asks his friend and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth because he feels like he's the only one who didn't expect you to be there. "You knew that he asked her out?"

Jimin realizes the gravity of the situation but he knows there's no real heat to the inquiry behind Yoongi's wavering voice, avoiding his gaze as he plops himself back to the couch.

"Asked her out to be a plus one... yeah."

"Great," he nods once, looking down on his beer that's just as bitter as he is. "That's great."

It's a tense silence that engulfs them both and Jimin, clearly the one who's suffocating in it, doesn't even know his way out. He's just about to add in a little explanation of how he came to know but he's interrupted before he even gets to open his mouth.

"You know this Taehyung guy?"

Yoongi looks at his knees and he doesn't realize that he's bouncing one, drumming his fingers on his thigh in a tune he can't place.

"Not much, but yeah. She introduced him to me before she introduced him to her parents."

Jimin's only attention in adding the last bit was his fondness because you trusted him enough to be the first of your loved ones to know, warming at the thought that he matters to you in such a way.

But god, in the way Yoongi seems to even dive deeper into his blooming insecurities, he wishes he hadn't.

"Does the press know? Do his fans — do people know?" his voice hushes, "do they know that they're exes?"

It's a valid question born out of curiosity. Anyone who knows you and Taehyung remotely would dare to ask.

"Not sure. They dated even before Taehyung got famous," Jimin somberly answers, meekly scratching the back of his ear. "But after this appearance? I'm sure it won't be long before someone digs something up."

It's a coarse silence that even the bitterness of the beer Jimin kept in stock at his fridge isn't enough to corrode it. All he sees and feels is Yoongi who keeps looking at his hands, his unsureness towards himself reeking.

"Right. Of course."

Yoongi brings his phone and texts you silently when Jimin's attention gets whisked away with Soyeon's appearance on the red carpet, only taking a brief look to see that the bruising on her nose wasn't color-corrected at all.

He thinks little of his dignity because he figures that none would be deducted from him at this point, seeing to it that he's compromising on asking you out even if it's not exclusive to only the two of you.

"Are you free tonight? I'm with Jimin right now and I cooked dinner enough for three. Come hang out :)"

He looks at the screen and Jimin, oblivious to his turmoil, points to where you are at the screen. You're already out of the red carpet but you're visible nonetheless with the wide-angle view of the livestream.

Yoongi could only wait.

You're buzzing with unknown adrenaline from having so many people's attention to you all at once that your shoulders sag in relief once you and Taehyung exited the stream of flashes, the puff of fresh air without being crowded by dozens of media in front of you hitting especially.

"You're my hero," Tae sighs in relief as he puts his hand on the small of your back, "and my hero's phone vibrates so loud that it's making my knee tremble."

He pulls out your phone from his pocket because the free clutch that came with your dress could barely fit your hand, handing you the device from the roomy pocket of his dress pants.

Apparently, you're now his hero because you agreed when called you desperately in need. His manager was forcing him to get a plus-one to the event and coincidentally, you were the first person Tae thought of.

He didn't want to be linked to yet another rumor and he instead just decided to call you in hopes you would agree, even if it was a gigantic favor he was asking from you. You're low-key and unproblematic and most important of all, he's comfortable with you! He didn't want to spend the night of what seems to be an important gala with someone he barely knows.

You're his ex (but they don't need to know) and what someone could say a close friend. It's wholesome. It's heartwarming. Warrants no unnecessary hounding from the press.

You open your phone and Yoongi's text is the first thing that greets you. It's sudden and you don't know what to make of it that you even subtly try to look around to see if he's here somewhere, regardless if he's with his ex-wife or not.

It throws you off your rhythm for a short while but you recover, typing in a quick reply before you shove your phone back to Tae's pocket.

Yoongi watches the livestream until he feels his phone vibrate, sinking into the cushions right when he sees the last sliver of you before the stream was taken down due to a report.

"can't :( i'm doing grocery shopping rn"

( ♡ )

There's a weight on Yoongi's chest that he can't put off.

It's a weight on his chest that he can't remove and it comes in the form of the questions that he formulates inside his head, already out in the open since he can no longer keep them burrowed.

He asks it with little to no urgency, honestly. He's curious but it's in the definition of defeat — asking Jimin as his last resort.

"Why did you not do anything when you knew that Y/N had a crush on me?"

The two of you knew Jimin as someone who had a knack for meddling; meddling in the definition of just teasing the boundary yet not actually intervening. It was his way of reminding the other that he knows it's there and although he won't exactly do anything, it doesn't mean that he's clueless.

In all honesty, Jimin's a little choked up at the question because first of all, he's still surprised that Yoongi came into work because he's figured that since last night of you being involved with Taehyung, he needed a breather of some sort.

Although Yoongi doesn't meet his eyes, Jimin knows he's no longer dancing around the topic. No longer dancing around the subject of you because it's out in the open that he wants you and is hurting.

"It's conflicting on my part. I kinda always wanted to play cupid for the day Y/N had like a legitimately huge crush," his voice gets sheepish, "but when I learned that it's you, I uh, I just didn't know what to do or how that would even go."

Yoongi understands it — not fully, but he does have the faintest grasp.

"Is it because of Jihye?"

"Yeah, kind of like that too," he swallows because if he thinks just far enough, he'd recall the day when he stood as best man at his friend's wedding, never having anticipated that Yoongi would end up loving someone he's closely familiar with all this time. "I just wasn't sure that you'd like her back so with me being neutral, in a way, I'd get to save you from the inconvenience and save Y/N from the heartbreak."

The wording is what makes Yoongi look up, his eyebrows furrowing in genuine confusion as he corrects him.

"Y/N's not an inconvenience to me."

He says it with much sternness and he internalizes it in entirety because it is true. You're the furthest thing away from being an inconvenience to him and it's only now that he realizes how he's made you feel like it in the start.

In a way, Yoongi loathes himself because he didn't take the time to look at you for a second longer.

He didn't allow himself to feel the warmth of the coffee you used to give him every morning for a second longer than necessary, and he didn't even utter a single thanks whenever you'd give him what he requested of you.

It hits him in a way he can't explain because as he peers down on the article on his phone, the very one with you and Taehyung in the thumbnail, his arm felt like giving out when he showed it to Jimin.

HE'S GLOWING: How could Kim Taehyung not when his mystery plus-one is the humblest yet brightest in the room?

Jimin's mouth dries when he sees the fuel to Yoongi's insecurities in the form of an article, skimming past the words before he hands it back to him with the screen turned down.

"Did they make a good couple?" Yoongi pipes in, simply curious with no malice behind his question. "They fit right together, don't they?"

Although Jimin already turned off his phone, he finds himself turning it back on again, being met with the thumbnail that glares at him in high-definition.

He sees Taehyung's hand around your waist and he realizes that it's probably because he's slotted it around too many times before that it feels like muscle memory to do so.

That Taehyung's hand probably made a home out of your waist and takes solace in everything else because after all, you have a history that's undeniable.

You have a history and you're still with him in a way, even if it's not of a lover's concern.

"Yoongs, don't do that."

Jimin scolds him the longer he looks at his phone to the point that he's snatched it out of his grasp, no longer wanting to see his friend bring himself down.

He allows it, staying silent. "Namjoon's in cardiology, right?" he thinks of the familiar face he's seen a couple of times when they were still serving in the hospital. Jimin nods mindlessly but he didn't expect an answer directly.

"Good. I need him to make all these pains stop."

Yoongi thinks it's pathetic of him that there's tears forming at the corners of his eyes, thinks it's even more pathetic that he doesn't even try choking them back down.

"Do you think Y/N will like me back?"

"Yoongi."

He exhales at the sound of his name, nodding to himself before he goes out of the room because his large office seems to close down on him. "You're right. I shouldn't ask. I'm putting you in a tough spot by doing that."

He leaves even before Jimin can squeak, the words he couldn't utter because the one who was supposed to hear them is already put. Yeah. I do think Y/N will like you back.

Yoongi's been working in a daze the whole morning that he breezes through clients and doesn't even realize it. All he knows is that he feels overwhelmingly small and unlike himself and he couldn't bring himself out of it.

It's been his habit to go to the breakroom to linger around you that regardless if you were in there or not, he'd stay there during lunchbreak instead of eating out. His lunch routine would be ordering in and getting you your own meal.

It's engraved into his mind to the point that he barely realizes that when he goes to brew his second coffee of the day, you're already sat on the couch — only sinking in that you were there when he hears you muttering to yourself.

"Hi, Dr. Min."

His mouth is slightly agape to see that you've been there the whole time, bringing down his mug as he acknowledges that you're alone in the room with him.

But the words form on their own accord, and he means it wholeheartedly.

"You looked pretty last night."

To say that you're shocked would be an understatement because you gulp before you know it, eyes widening in realization.

"H-how did you-"

"Jimin gave a rhinoplasty to one of the attendees just a week ago and he wanted to have an I told you so moment with the bruising and all that," he easily explains, giving his coffee an extra stir. "You're also kind of in articles."

"I am?" your head tilts in confusion of why there'd even be articles about you in the first place, the individual you accompanied enough of a reminder to make it dawn on you. "Oh, right. Taehyung told me that would happen."

Dr. Min merely smiles in reply and the lack of a retort keeps you alert, unused to the calm look on his face especially after the mention of Taehyung's name.

You twiddle your thumbs together and the sight of Yoongi like this undoubtedly worries you, the urge to get to the bottom of it overpowering you.

"Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

Yoongi chuckles at the ridiculous question, the abruptness of it enough to make him amused.

"Because I lied to you," you piece together the text he sent you out of office hours, right when you were out of the red carpet. You didn't question it at first but now it boggles your mind, the slightest bit of guilt being planted at the back of your mind.

He shakes his head no, sincerely meaning his sentiment that he isn't mad at you at all.

"You're not indebted to me. You can do whatever you want, I have no right to be mad."

He thinks about how the article's right and how he barely even focused on anyone else that attended just because whoever wrote it knows just how much you shone that night.

He's lost in his thoughts but he keeps stirring his coffee in the corner until there's bubbles at the top with how much he's been doing it, giving you your space.

"Are you upset?"

The question leaves you before you can even process it and oddly enough, you don't regret asking.

"I am," he admits, "but I shouldn't be."

Yoongi has a weight on his chest and he doesn't know how to relieve it at all. He doesn't know how to move around it nor how it even got there in the first place but his palms move automatically, digging into his eyes as he inhales shakily.

"I'm sorry for springing all this to you. God, why am I even sniffling? Sorry, my mind's just a little cloudy right now."

The sight of him being distraught tugs at your heartstrings in a way you've never felt before, a whimper bubbling at the back of your throat.

Yoongi gathers himself enough, just enough to utter his own words without his voice wavering or his eyes watering.

"Please let me down gently."

He knows he basically has no hope at all and he's really trying to come into terms with it. He deserves the pain, he thinks. He's selfish, that much he's sure of, but he pleads that this would be his last time being selfish as long as once you reject him for the final time — it'd be gentle.

"I haven't used my last chance yet and I don't want to expect anything but please, if you're gonna reject me," and the bitter part of his brain thinks you really should, "please go easy on me."

It's a watery silence between the two of you, only being broken when you can't hold yourself back for much longer.

"I haven't used my last chance either," your voice alone brings Yoongi back down, piquing his undivided attention while he tries to make sense of your words. "Do you wanna grab lunch with me right now? Just down the street."

Yoongi's breathless once he realizes the weight of your words, a sudden clarity to his gaze that he nods surely.

"Of course I would."

His voice is still croaky but he clears it to the best that he can, rocking himself back and forth with his feet in place.

It all feels too real when it's just the two of you alone in the breakroom, only a few feet apart but just as close in intention.

"Dinner later? I bought new pots and pans just last week."

The interjection of him using up his last chance to somehow sneak in there that he has new kitchenware makes you giggle, nodding eagerly.

"I'd love that."

"O-okay."

Yoongi knows that he's abandoned his coffee long before he even realized you were in the room, putting his hands at his back as he sheepishly looks at you for what exactly you're going to do next.

"Lunch?"

It's nice. It's more than nice to walk out together side by side. You're toeing around each other when it's clear that the both of you've attempted to cross the boundary for ten times combined, yielding to each other at the last try.

Yoongi tries not to trip on his feet but his eyes widen just the same when he realizes that people are walking with coats and you're not as toasty warm as you'd like with the heating of the clinic, his hands fumbling to make action.

He shrugs off his white coat and stops you at the middle of the street to put it on you because merely draping it on you wouldn't do much justice.

"I don't want you to shiver."

He explains without meeting your eyes but he knows there's warm smile that's been established already, shoving his hands to his pockets as he clenches them out of excitement for yet another tiny victory.

Yoongi feels your hand on his arm, making him peer at you with a curious gaze but he tries not to breathe at all as he walks, too enamored with the way he feels secure.

"I don't want you to get lost."