#i didn't have the chance to grow fond of him my first read through but I know some people really are

[bookwyrminspiration]

please please please give me your thoughts and opinions on trc I need to know every thought you have had about the series ever

I would love to share! Have not read the dreamer trilogy yet, hence the reread because I'm finally getting around to it. I got to Ronan crying after trashing Adam's dorm and being banned, then for some reason got distracted from it.

But! There are a few things that first come to mind: ronan is so so precious to me. I have a type of favorite character and he is it. I would hold him in my hands but he'd never in a million years let me. He is raw and unbridled and fascinating. I don't think we'd get along great, but he's such a good character.

Second, I'm like 97% sure Blue and I have the same haircut. Not pictured: me five minutes ago tying my hair into the spikiest ponytail and trying desperately to find more clips because it's just not quite long enough to work, but I like it. Need more clips tho. Enamored with her eccentricity and commitment to it. When I first read her descriptions however many years ago, I didn't quite get it, but I do now and I aspire to be as unconventional and intentional as she is.

Another thing I can't stop thinking about: Noah. No other loss has hit me and stuck like him. It's wrenching, just how poignant his "death" is. I say death because I know he's dead, but I'm referring to how he quietly faded from time. It guts me every time I think about it because it's so unlike what you find in any other writing. As painful and raw as death can be, in other books, they aren't gone. Not fully. There are memories and memorabilia and fond thoughts and moments. There is a space where they were, and it may be empty but the space is there. Not for Noah. He isn't dead, he doesn't exist anymore. There are no thoughts, no space where he used to be. He's gone from the story in a way no other character death provides--and it hurts. Especially reading that scene where Ronan wrote remembered in the car window. Because I know he isn't. I know that the only place Noah exists is in our, the readers, minds. That he's only truly there in your first read through and you don't even know to treasure it. Because rereading it, you see him on the page and know he's not there. Not in the same way. At least to me. It is devastating and I don't think any death will ever compare to it for me.

This series was designed to be reread and even though it's been long enough I don't remember everything, it still hits. And I am immediately reminded why I adored the series so and why I read through it so fast, even though it hadn't been anything like what I thought it was about. I cannot believe I've let cdth and mister impossible sit on my shelf for so long--i've had cdth since like 2019, 2020 or something. really soon after it was released

i know the series just ended or something like that, and I'd been joking like "haha everyone else has reached the end of the story but since I haven't read it I get to live in a world where it isn't over <3" but now I am oh so aware that's it's over and that time it limited. i am going to reach the end and that will be it but I won't be the same. you know how that is, when a story ends and there's nothing new, and you can reread and talk about it and enjoy it but something has changed?

anyway, my point is wow I missed this series and I'm so glad I picked it up again on a whim

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team back. we’re currently yapping central again (per usual)

both of us are straight up in a tim drake brainrot spiral too!!! he’s a delightful little weirdo. a strange little gentleman if you will.

tim is such a funny little guy!!! he also makes a solid yandere. you can’t outsmart him. you can’t escape someone who can find everything about you. On the upside, I feel like he’d be happy to spoil his darling. also he’d be like, really considerate in weird ways??? I mean like you don’t get privacy (or you get the illusion of it maybe but not actual privacy.)

like yeah you’re always being watched in some way, but the man has committed every single one of your favorites and least favorites to memories. He knows what clothing you like, what specific features you look for in everything, and if he doesn’t, by god, will he learn. He knows your favorite song, and he knows the nickname you went by in elementary school.

Do you think he pretends to be normal and basically sets things up to send reader to be like a little love story?? You meet by chance, and he fell first. He fell a LONG time ago, so now it’s his mission to make you fall too. And Tim Drake ALWAYS finishes a mission. (Even as a baby daddy candidate). He makes himself the best option, even if he’s not the father.

Yandere!TimDrake x PastFriend!Reader x Aiden Cobblepot

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Sooooo, I'm finally and slowly going through my ask box and you two may have sparked an idea just for Tim. I might have to do a Part Two for this. (I'm falling into the WIP trap. Help!) But, I love the thought of the Bat Family have competition when it comes to their darling. Gives them a challenge. Plus, I really wanted to use Aiden Cobblepot for this. I've been wanting to sneak him into something.

A/N: We have neglected!Sib!Reader, but what about a Neglected!Friend!Reader? Fun idea. Tim already knowing everything about you only to find you’ve changed and wants to study you all over again. Only this time he’s keeping you! (I’m very fond of Tim. I think he’s difficult to write for me, but I enjoy the little stalker so much.)

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Romantic themes, Tim can be read as kinda platonic, GN!Reader

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You and Tim were once good friends. Well, he was your best friend. To him you were just a good one. High school buddies that would hang out all the time. At school only. And sometimes the rare gala you saw him at. It was rare you ever actually went to The Manor. You never asked to go. But, you had hoped to be invite.

Just like you had hoped that he might reciprocate that pesky crush you had on him back then. You had felt like it was so painfully obvious. Though it wasn't as painful when you finally figured out he was Red Robin and you waited and waited for him to tell you his secret identity. And, then you would tell him you already figured it out and you would look so cool.

Only, he never did. You both grew distant. You had put so much carful effort into keeping that distance from growing. Inviting him to hang out more. Asking him out for casual coffee. He always said the same thing.

"Oh, damn. I could really go for that right now. But, I'm just sorta busy. Next time though. For sure."

Over and over. He sounded like a broken character. Repeating the same phrase. One that you would hang around after the game was over to reminisce about all the fun adventures you both once had. However this was life not a game. You couldn't just restart and rerun the same adventures.

It made you ache when you finally moved on. When you finally pulled away. Because, Tim didn't even notice you were gone. His life to change. He didn't have to restart anything. You had lost your best friend and he didn't even care. It stung. It stung more than you realizing he'd never reciprocate your feelings.

But, like all things, time moves on and so do you. Leaving the past behind and starting a new game. One that you start to flourish in. Making new friends. Meeting new people. Building closer bonds and more healthy friendships. It had been interesting to realize how dependent you had been on Tim once upon a time. And, embarrassing. You can't help looking back on it with a wince. You almost want to reach out and apologize. But, that would be weird and you both live completely separate lives now. You hardly ever see him at galas now. Mostly because you don't go anymore.

Things, do change. You never expected your new partner would draw Tim's attention back to you. And, in such a terrible way.

You had a rough idea of what you were getting into when Aiden Cobblepot had asked you out to dinner. You figured he was only interested in you for your money or your half-decent looks or your family name and position. You had heard all the rumors about him, but still you went. Mostly, because you knew how dangerous he and his family were. And, you were… presently surprised.

He was a bit of an entitled asshole. But, he wasn't scared of getting dirty. You watched him lead you through the puddles of rain water and Gotham grim in the posh restaurant. He held more concern for you're clothing getting dirty than his, which were more expensive than yours. He paid for the date without flinching at the price. Encouraged you to try his own food from his plate. Talked about fond memories of the things he and his sister got up to as children while asking you about your own childhood.

Admittedly, you were easily seduced because after that the two of you became an item. You didn't even realize how official you were until he introduced you to his sister, Addison, and she was actually nice to you. Extremely nice. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you betrayed Aiden in any way, which was honestly fair enough.

Aiden and you were a bit on the opposite side of things, taste wise and morally wise. But, you both made it work. He continued his life of crime, but made no mention of it around you to keep you legally clean. You shared most of your life with him, letting him have a slight glimmer into normalcy. He liked to take you on fancy dates and show you a good time. You were happy to pull him inside just to spend personal time with each other. Of course, you both made compromises. Aiden had a taste for luxury, and you didn't mind indulging in it. Especially after you beat his ass multiple times in Mario cart. It was only fair you let him take you to a gala some point.

Little did you know that that was how Tim would come clawing and digging his way back into your life.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

For Tim seeing you again was like finding an old precious treasure. His life had gotten so difficult and complicate lately that just a reminded of all those old times was nice.

However, seeing you on the arms of the Penguin's son was a brutal wake up call. What were you doing? Had you hit your head? Was he blackmailing you? Drugging you? Everyone in Gotham could recognize the name Cobblepot and how dangerous they are. And, he remembers how smart you were so you couldn't have willing chose to be there. It's not logical.

For your safety, he reintroduces himself to you. Long time, no see. We should hang out some time and catch up. Only he means it. He can't let this happen. He can't let you fall in with a man like that. You're his friend. He'll win you over for your own sake. Ruin Cobblepot while he's at it because how dare he use you.

Even if you changed. Even if you don't smell the same. If your hair is different. If you dress different. Even if your very laugh had changed pitch, he knows you. And, if anything, he can just re-learn you all over again. It won't take long. He's done it all before. This time he'll savor though. This time he won't let you go as he pulls you back in. You were a good friend, this time he'll make you more.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m starting to type up Part Three of Pregant!Reader, but I ended up coming up with another start to it with more drama that would be strictly for the BatBoys. The messed up drama in it sounds fun and challenging, but I won’t do it until I finish what I started with the blurbs I have planned included.

A/N: Smalltown!Meta!Reader Part Nine is going to take a while. I have big plans for it, but Pregnant!Reader is kinda outshining it.

A/N: I will post about the LoungeSinger!Reader and another idea I came up with that y’all might like that I’ll add to the concept list.

A/N: There’s a Tony Part Two coming, but it’s only halfway typed and still not that yandere-y. Need to fix that.

A/N: My asks box is full, so I’m gonna try to empty it, but I host Thanksgiving in my family and I’m also a Christmas nut, so I’m gonna be busy. (I have four Christmas trees in my house currently… But I’m not as bad as my in-laws! They had their trees up BEFORE Halloween.)

[ivystoryweaver]

Based on a combined request from @babyprofessorsharkpalace and @dowbastan. The requests were so similar that I wrote this one shot and I hope you both like it!

Summary: You're the childhood love of Duke Leto Atreides. Years have passed and your paths took you different directions. You have one final night before he leaves Caladan for Arrakis.

Pairing: Duke Leto Atreides from Dune x f!reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Content: NSFW, mdni, language, fingering, oral - m. rec., p in v, unprotected sex, size kink, nipple play, spitting, not beta'd

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An invitation to Caladan to celebrate House Atreides' appointment to Arrakis was a coveted opportunity, and an honor.

You belonged to a noble family on a neighboring planet, and your family had a history with House Atreides. In fact, you were once pledged to a young Leto Atreides.

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Then...

Long before silver sprinkled his inky curls - before his father passed on the title of Duke - the handsome first son of Caladan was your intended.

This resulted in multiple visits to Caladan during your childhood, in which you actually befriended young Leto. The two of you remained unaware of your families' intentions for years. You played along the wet, craggy rocks and numerous caves of Caladan, and the sprawling gardens of your homeworld.

When you came of age, plans were made to announce your engagement officially. This was the first you'd ever heard of it. You visited Caladan once again with your parents, eager to see your dear friend Leto.

You were both still so young - you even more so than he. You and Leto stole away to your usual childhood spots, laughing and catching up, but this time, once you reached your favorite cave, he gathered you into his arms.

"We're to be married," he whispered, gazing adoringly into your eyes. "Does this please you?"

"Leto," you whispered, with a breathless laugh. "Who else could it ever be but you?"

His strong hands gripped your hips, pulling you flush against his body as he lowered his lips to yours.

This was the last happiness you would know with your childhood love.

The Bene Gesserit installed Lady Jessica as a concubine for young Leto.

You understood that many nobles had concubines for companionship, while remaining open to strategic, political marriages. But you assumed you would be Leto's companion, as well as his wife.

Despite your protestations, you might have been forced into the arrangement anyway, except that your parents would have you nowhere near the influence of the Bene Gesserit, if they could help it.

So you didn't see Leto again for years - not until you were married to another powerful man, and Leto had a son and heir, thanks to Lady Jessica.

You had the opportunity to meet them once - young Paul Atreides and his mom. Truthfully, they were lovely and you found yourself wondering why fate had brought a man like Leto to your heart only to yank him away and give him to someone else.

Then your husband passed away. You received a note of condolence from Leto, in his own hand, no less.

'I will always cherish our fond childhood,' it read. 'Please know my sympathy and warm affection are with you always.'

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Now...

So, here you are, these years later, in the home - the castle - of your once intended. A farewell party, to honor House Atreides before they set off to oversee spice production on Arrakis.

Your invitation is nothing special. Hundreds were invited from all over. The chance of you seeing, let alone speaking with the Duke is minuscule. He likely has more important things to do than worry about widowed childhood friends.

The opulence of the occasion enchants even you for a time, but you eventually grow weary of the fake smiles and never-ending condolences. Bored with the evening, and damn near everything in your life, you wander away from the bustle and celebration, through once familiar corridors of Castle Caladan.

Hardly a thing has changed. Few things ever do in these ancient royal dwellings. You find yourself meandering along, just as you did as a child, darting from one lavish room to the next, avoiding the elder duke's stern glare.

Speaking of which...

"If I look at you at just the right angle, it almost seems like we're teenagers again."

The unmistakable voice of Duke Leto Atreides sounds over the faded swirl of orchestra music, drifting from the great hall.

"In complete darkness, maybe," you lightly return, keeping your back turned. "Seeing how I have not walked these halls since the birth of your son."

"A young man nearly grown," Leto evenly responds. "It's been far too long."

The thump of his heavy boots alerts you to his approach. You stiffen as he draws near. You suppose it's time to acknowledge your host in his own home. Before you can, however, he moves in beside you.

Just the scent of him throws you into inner turmoil. The years have been kind to Leto. He wears middle age very well. Distinguished and brutally handsome, he commands respect, despite his shorter stature.

"Too long indeed," you finally respond, longing to turn and gaze into his eyes - to see if any trace of the boy you loved still lingers.

"Let me look at you," he softly commands, boldly cupping your shoulder with his palm.

"Nothing to see." You shrug him off, or attempt to anyway. "Just a lonely widow."

He crowds into your personal space demandingly, grasping both shoulders now. "Am I such a stranger to you that you won't greet me in my own home - or even look at me? Why did you even make the journey?"

Your eyes meet his unflinchingly - a perfect match for his stubbornness. "I came to congratulate you and your family on your appointment to Arrakis. Now that I've done so, I'll take my leave."

He holds you firmly, the heat of his fingers seeping through your sleeve. "Why so soon? I've only just laid eyes on you for the first time in years and you can't even spare me a glance? You might as well condemn me to walk the sands of Arrakis alone."

"Don't be so dramatic, Leto," you mock, attempting to wrench free of his grip. "Everything you need or want is going with you to that desert rock."

"Not everything," he firmly protests, dark eyes boring into yours. His fingers, so insistently gripping your arms, relax and began to trace soothing circles on the soft fabric of your dress.

You huff, rolling your eyes, but your body automatically eases closer to the duke, as if responding to him instinctually.

"Don't pretend I mean anything to you now," you scold him, melting into his embrace, with only your words left to cut him.

"No one in this world means more to me except for my own son," he breathes on your cheek, his hands gripping your hips as he pulls you flush against his pristinely uniformed chest.

Your heart stops for a moment as you struggle to breathe. "I think you forgot Lady Jessica," you finally manage. "The Bene Gesserit's strategic installation."

He groans. "She's the mother of my heir."

"All the more reason to leave me be! I've paid my respects. I'm done here. We're done." Your chest heaves dramatically as Leto runs his hands possessively up your back, pulling you desperately close.

"I'll never be done with you," he breathes against your mouth, covering your lips with his own. You want to fight him but the heat of his tongue lures you in, your body wilting into his powerful embrace. His soft beard tickles your face as you liquify in his arms.

Taking advantage of your compliance, he kisses you endlessly, working the elegant skirt of your dress up your legs until it bunches around your waist, giving him access to caress your thighs.

His tongue thrusts hungrily but his fingers touch you softly, tracing your inner thigh, on a determined path to the core of you.

He doesn't ask - he feels your hips shift toward his caress as he strokes you through the flimsy fabric covering your folds.

He wastes no time brushing the material aside to push his knuckles against your wet heat, already slick for him. He surprises you with the brazenness of his touch. His fingers stretch out, separating your slick folds. The pad of his thumb drags demandingly down over your needy bundle of nerves as his fingers work their way into you possessively.

He groans into your mouth as you squelch and clench around him - your hole tight and unused.

You shamelessly moan against his parted, panting mouth, fucking your hips down onto his thick digits, the stretch of even two fingers stuffing you fuller than you've felt in years. His rhythm in and out is the most incredible sensation you've ever experienced in your life.

"This is all for you," he rumbles on your ear, curling his fingertips against the spongy softness inside you, making you shudder with desperate want. "Invited half the galaxy here just so I could be inside you again."

"Leto," you keen, your back arching as a wave of euphoria rolls through you, drenching his fingers with your desire.

You're instantly yanking at the belt of his uniform trousers, panting, somewhat satisfied, but not truly sated. You remember the beautiful, soft, strong body of your first lover. Your husband had no hope of comparing.

As you work him free of his pants, which drop to his knees, you gasp out an eager whine as his cock springs free, stiff and thick and already dripping for you. Without another thought, you're sinking to your knees to swipe your tongue over the proud length of him.

He sucks in a breath and growls out a swear. You can tell you've managed to truly surprise him.

You can't fit him in your mouth - there's no way, so your hands grip his shaft twisting possessively as you open wide and try take him to the back of your throat.

"F-fuck," he hisses, stumbling forward slightly and you gag, drool trickling from the corners of your mouth. Once you get your bearings, you chuckle around him because this man never loses control of any situation.

He's so thick your eyes start to water, but it feels good to have him in your hands again - to have someone want you, crave you, even.

His body is tense and impatient and he grips your chin forcefully, although not painfully, easing his stiff cock out of your mouth. You wonder what's going on, but he doesn't keep you guessing.

"Turn around," he orders, bringing your skirts back up to where they started, around your waist. "Hold this," he commands.

His hands grip your hips underneath your dress and you feel his cock rubbing against your ass as he leans over you the nearest table, his breath falling hot on your ear. He doesn't speak yet, just breathes in and out. You manage to hold your skirt with one hand while bracing yourself with the other.

Unsatisfied with your position, he grumbles out a curse, pushing you so far over that your backside is higher than your head, your body halfway sprawled across the table’s end. Leaning down, he separates your pussy lips with his fingers and spits on your cunt. You let out a whine - your own voice sounding foreign to you. Then you feel the tip of his cock drag through your wet folds, back and forth, before he finally eases in, halting as he feels how impossibly tight you are.

You whimper at the intrusion, your body thrumming with lust. This elegant duke - controlled and noble in every interaction - is grunting, his hips stuttering as he tries to fit his impossibly huge cock into your unused cunt. Your whines and his groans are shamefully loud, echoing off the ancient walls of this corridor, where anyone could find you.

"You'll take all of me before you leave here," he hisses, his fingers finding your clit, circling languidly, while his other hand wraps around your abdomen, holding you in position. He palms your breast through the fabric of your dress and you wish you could feel his skin against yours again.

You almost say as much - beg him, even, but you know these are stolen moments. Hundreds are waiting for him, probably looking for him.

But he's here, inside you. Or half inside, anyway.

"That's it, dove, let me in," he huffs, pushing in more, and more.

Tears prick your eyes because it stings but you need it so badly. "You're so big," you gasp out, "I can't, Leto. Please."

He jerks out of you so fast, you almost topple over, but the strong arm wrapped around you holds you steady. Pulling you up to your feet, he drags you by the hand to the nearest sleeping quarters down the corridor - essentially, the closest room with a door.

Securing the door, he all but rips the bodice of your dress, pawing at you until your breasts spring free. Catching your nipple between his teeth, he tugs, making you hiss out a whine, the pain and pleasure making you weak.

His tongue soothes your sore skin, coaxing your nipple to hardness. Then he suckles you while yanking at your laces and bindings.

You chant his name like a prayer, pushing your fingers into his perfectly kempt curls, twirling them into a mess as he sucks your tits, one at a time. It feels so good you could come again just from this.

But you need to feel him, to have him. This will be your only chance - you're sure of it. Barely managing to give up the sensation of having this perfect man suck your nipples, you push him back and work on the buttons of his uniform jacket. He's way ahead of you, having rid himself of everything from the waist down.

Finally, finally you feel all of him, all these years later.

He pulls you against him, kissing you deeply, gripping your thighs before hoisting them around his waist. Backing up to the bed, he eases down, sitting on the edge with you on top of him.

"Need you to take all of me," he repeats the directive, clutching your hip with one hand, while gripping his cock in the other.

Nodding, you push up onto your knees, letting him drag his tip through your folds, collecting your wetness.

"Fuck me," he commands, squeezing your hip and pushing you downward, fingertips digging into your flesh.

Bracing yourself on his broad, muscular shoulders, you sink onto his tip, breathlessly moaning at how swiftly and easily you feel full.

"More than that. Need more." His jaw is locked in unbearable tension and you feel his cock twitch as he slips deeper inside.

"Kept this cunt tight for me," he rasps, pushing again. "No one can stretch you out like I can."

"Yes," you unabashedly whine, your legs trembling as you try to hold your body up just a little longer, feeling as if he will spear you in half if you sink all the way down.

He leans back a little and uses his fingers to push your pussy lips apart. He wants to watch your squelching cunt split open over his thick cock.

"Look at how you take me," he marvels, licking his lips, using one fingertip to toy with your clit. Your back arches in ecstasy, but you still, you don't sink all the way down.

"Let me in," he snarls, rubbing you rapidly but so featherlight, you teeter on the edge of orgasm. Desperate to come, to please him, to feel all of him, you give in, letting your legs give out as you sink down - the heavy length of him searing you inside.

"Leto, fuck...fuck," you cry - wincing at the sting but reveling in the stretch.

He groans out appreciatively, but his arms quickly wind around you to support your weight and he stills the movement of his hips as you adjust to the full length of him.

"So good for me," he rasps, kissing you again. You melt into the taste of him, threading your fingers through his curls. Your breasts press against the warmth of his chest. He kisses you on and on, his legs twitching with the need to move, to push up, to thrust into your cunt, stuffed full of him.

He almost comes just from the first rock of your hips, finally feeling the friction he needs. He wants to grip your hips and force you down on his cock, over and over, but he's patient, just a little longer. Your hunger for this - for him, is almost as intoxicating as the way you begin to slowly grind your pelvis in a tantalizing, delicious rhythm.

Wanting you to feel as good as he does - needing to feel the clench of your cunt around his cock when you come - prompts him to reach between your bodies again and strum at your oversensitive clit. He meets your rocking with slow, sensual thrusts upward, sucking a mark into your throat as he coaxes you to another delicious climax.

You forget to mind the fact that this spontaneous reunion could technically result in a child. But Leto hasn't forgotten.

"Want to fill you up," he pants, desperation creeping into his thrusts. The initial sting has worn off after two orgasms, and the slick heat between your bodies creates a pleasurable friction for you both.

"Dance with me tonight," he carries on, pulling you against his chest as his thrusts grow more demanding. "You'll feel the ache of me inside you. I want you to feel me leaking out of you. You're mine."

"I belong to no man," you protest, even as your cunt flutters in agreement with him.

Just a few more thrusts and he comes with a groan, spilling deep inside you, his breath heavy on your throat.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you hold him close, keeping him inside you, reveling in these stolen moments before he disappears from your life. 

Most likely for forever.

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[niki-phoria]

got friendzoned by my crush last week ://

idk why but i thought i had a chance, since every class we had eye contacts and he always smiles, also that one time we were checking testpapers, he switched his testpaper he was assigned to, to mine because he really wants to have a conversation w me at school.

i gave him a confessional letter with a bracelet that had a morse code "i like you" then i waited a week for his reply but he didn't, turns out he was waiting for my chat first because he was scared.

then i got friendzoned and turns out he actually was straight:]].

i would really love a sunghoon x m!reader fic with the opposite what happened to me, maybe i will cheer up a little. <3

pairing: sunghoon x male!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 805

notes: pining, blushy hoon, high school au, gaeul is hoon's dog, was gonna have them go ice skating together but i feel like that's too far for them to go yk

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i'm sorry about what happened with your crush :// i tried to keep some elements from your story (working together on projects, a bracelet confession, high school au) i hope this makes you feel a little better &lt;33 also sorry if you're incredible at history or something lmao /gen

requests open !! read my rules first

PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR

“y/n?” a boy stands nervously in front of you, holding a piece of paper in his hands. he’s taller than you, dark brown eyes looking down at you behind his fringe. you close your locker, leaning back against it. 

“yeah?” 

“i’m sunghoon,” he introduces, lowering his head in a quick bow. “you’re my partner for the history project.” he holds out the paper for you to take, awkwardly playing with the strap of his backpack. you skim the page, cursing underneath your breath. 

“i have to warn you, history is my worst subject,” you chuckle, handing the paper back to him. “i’m busy tonight but i have time to work on it tomorrow, if you’re free.” 

“that sounds great,” sunghoon smiles. “i’ll meet you at lunch?” 

“sure.” 

the cafe is nearly empty when you enter. sunghoon sits in the corner, scrolling through something on his phone. “hey,” you smile, sitting across from him. 

“hi.” he’s nervous when he sets his phone down, sliding a cup to you. “i didn’t know what you’d like so i just got an americano, i hope that’s okay.” 

“it’s perfect!” you pretend not to notice the light flush on his face when you take a sip. “thank you.” 

“of course,” he murmurs. “should we get started?” 

you hum, pulling your computer out of your bag. “oh, before i forget, can i have your number? you know, so we can talk about the assignment.” 

sunghoon’s blush deepens as he nods, typing the number in quickly before handing your phone back. 

time with sunghoon passes quickly. you find yourself growing fond of the other boy. study sessions turn into long talks about anything that comes to mind. 

his house is quiet. gaeul lays curled at your feet as you sit on his bed, barely skimming through your essay. you groan, leaning back against his headboard. sunghoon raises an eyebrow at you watching as you dramatically throw yourself down. “i’m never gonna pass this class,” you whine. 

he chuckles, setting his textbook aside. “not if you never finish the assignment.” you playfully glare up at him through your hair. 

“rude.” 

sunghoon shakes his head, standing up. “come on.” he holds his hand out for you expectantly, waiting for you to take it. you let him pull you to your feet, guiding you into the living room. your socks slide against the hardwood floor as he twirls you around. you laugh, letting him maneuver around you. 

“what are we doing?” 

“dancing.” he’s nonchalant as he continues dancing around with you, sliding around the floor. 

“but there’s no music.” 

“your laugh is music to me.” 

you let out a flustered laugh, hiding your face into his chest. sunghoon pulls you closer, hands barely touching your waist. you pull away a little to look up at him, admiring his sharp features. his moles are visible even in the dim lighting. his fringe barely falls into his eyes. his ears burn as he stares down at you, light blush spreading across his cheeks. the atmosphere feels heavy when you look down, stepping back just slightly. 

“thanks for this,” you whisper.

sunghoon nods. “we should get back to work.” 

“park sunghoon!” you cheer, throwing yourself into his arms. he laughs, quick to wrap his arms around your waist to support you. 

“l/n y/n!” he laughs, twirling you around. 

you keep your arms wrapped around his neck when he sets you down, keeping you close to him. his hand ghosts against your waist. “congratulations on winning!” sunghoon laughs. 

“i couldn’t have done it without you.” 

“hey, i got you something.” 

“you shouldn’t have,” he whines. 

you reach into your bag, pulling out a small white box. sunghoon takes it, face flushed as he gingerly opening the box. he gasps, fingers running against the silver chain of the bracelet. “y/n,” he pulls you into another hug, hiding his face against your shoulder. you laugh, holding him close to you. “thank you.” his breath is warm against your neck. 

his blush has deepened when he pulls away, taking the bracelet from the box. engraved into the metal is a simple phrase. ‘be mine?’ his breath hitches, eyes moving from the bracelet to look into yours. “are you serious?” 

“of course i am.” you bring a hand up to his face, wiping away a stray tear. 

“yes, yes!” sunghoon pulls you back into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist. he rests his forehead against yours, hand reaching up to trace against your jawline before he cups your cheek. “can i kiss you?” 

you don’t respond, instead pulling him down into a sweet kiss. sunghoon smiles into it, pressing a peck against your lips before he pulls away. “i love you,” he whispers. 

you pull him down into another kiss, giddy with excitement. “i love you too.”

[totheidiot]

🕰️: uhh i'm bad at thinking of specific questions but i'd love to hear more about this ^^ so you can just ramble if you want to lol

turn back the clocks !!! that little story is my child !!! you have unleashed the ramblingsss

so ! basic character ! there are only really two characters that actually have a presence throughout the novel, the rest are here for one part and then because of time travel, they never show up again.

it is dual pov, the characters are two siblings. the older one is a 15 year old boy named ernie solace, he is very quiet, studious, the loner type. very much has got anxiety. also is queer but it only exists as subtext because i wanted to experiment on characters whose orientations are never specified but you just know. the youngest sibling is 12 years old, her name is lizzie and she's the opposite of her brother. she is extremely loud and blunt, very kind but she can be a bit too flashy and a bit too much. they have very contrasting personalities, you see. a lot of the books revolves around them doing risky activities that might threaten their life. ernie is very cautious, they almost didn't go time travelling because he was not into the idea. lizzie, however, is all about the adventure, seize the day, never doubt yourself. a lot of her decisions do stem from her burning wish to be the same always, never grow up, never leave the present moment. so you can probably guess she is most open to time travelling.

the actual time travel thing. the first chapter of the novel, their uncle whom they have never seen before, he shows up. he is a scientist and at the end of his visit, he confesses that he is here for them. apparently, there was another obscure scientist in the 1830s who had found the answer of time traveling and had even done it himself, traveling to the past. but the thing is, he is trapped. he cannot return to his present time, he is stuck in the past forever. he did leave behind journals, which were found by the uncle and had given instructions on how to save him. but, it was very specific on who could save him.

I don’t know. I have taken steps, in case I fail to return back on my own, and I am positive that even if all fails, these tasks shall prove to be what I need to return home. I have been precise of what needs to be done and how exactly it shall be done, the only question is: who will do it for me? I do not hesitate to call myself a lonely man, it is only the truth. I have no one to do favours for me, I can only rely that someone discovers this journal and pities me enough to find me in some hidden corner in time. Well, Reader, if you are reading this, I do need help. What are the chances that you know of me or have some fondness for me to partake in these tasks for me? I do only wish to return back home, if you will allow me — It will be laborious and I think it can be done by only some. It is not to be done alone, a pair is necessary by all means. Two people, siblings or friends, two people who have trust in one another and it is characteristic for them to work together. Different mindsets perhaps, two people who think in different ways. It must be too much to ask but I want them with love. I want them to love, I think, if they love, they shall find these tasks only an adventure. Curious people, who will find more than the objects I tell them to find. Suffering should not be characteristic for this pair. In the end, I think the only thing I expect from them is hope. There are very few grown persons who match this description, only children have that hope and curiosity and love in their hearts. But I do not want to ask for much, I do not even expect for you to find this. But please, if I am gone or disappear, send someone to save me. Anyone.

the uncle thought lizzie and ernie seemed to match the descriptions, so he had asked them. eventually, they did agree though ernie challenged him. they are to travel through five periods and find five objects.

1884 - a single diamond earring that belonged to a girl named mariana.

1850 - california gold rush where they have to find a specific quantity of gold

1648 - a map of a sea voyage, acquired from a pirate ship

october 14, 1066 - battle of hastings, a cloth of linen dropped by a fallen soldier

something like 10 million bce? - a leaf and drops of dew, untouched by human beings.

the theory was that, if all these items scattered and found from different times were brought together, these could cause such an anachronism that it would revert all the changes that were done to by both the scientist and lizzie and ernie, placing all three of them in their actual present time. it doesn't work on the scientist's end, spoiler alert. yeah, he just realized something huge and opened something that was more huge. the second book is about that, basically.

the book is essentially about hope above all. hope that the scientist has for his life, hope that lizzie and ernie have to save him, hope matters in a personal and character-specific way too. lizzie's hope is that nothing really changes for her while ernie doesn't mind change but he just hopes that whatever comes, it's going to be okay. it plays around with sibling dynamics and that familial co-dependency. even their last name, solace, means comfort and hope.

thank you for that question !!!!! i loved answering that :)))

and give me more asks, everyone !!

[10holmes]

Just re-read Going Back The Way We've Come again because I was feeling nostalgic and craving some sweet angst and because I still love this fic of mine so very much.

Anyway, I am now mentally and emotionally stuck in a painful daze reflecting on chapter 2 - where Xiao Xingchen's past is relived - especially concerning that personal headcanon of mine that I included there.

Back when writing this chapter, seeing that canon apparently wasn't painful and tragic enough, I thought:

What if XXC and XY had almost met sooner?

What if there had actually been a slim chance that XY would have even not encountered Chang Cian at all... but Baoshan Sanren instead, back when he was seven?

What if Baoshan Sanren actually descended her mountain once a year to look for orphans and then came to Yueyang that specific year?

And what if she had allowed then ten-year-old XXC to come with her and help her look for a potential child to join them?

This would have actually been the perfect grounds for a little canon-divergence AU that's all happy and cute with maybe some minor angst.

But as I am fond of gut-wrenching and soul-splitting pain, I decided, let the possibility be there but then have them miss that chance by a very very very small margin.

And now I've made myself cry because it is just so damn painful to read and think about that missed chance... The two of them almost meeting... Xue Yang being so close to a happy childhood, not having his hand crushed, his finger turned into pulp or almost losing his life, not going on to commit all of the attrocities later on, and then Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan would also not have had to go through any pain and emotional and physical torture either...

There could have been that wholesome happy future for all of them... But it was missed by just a heartbeat because Xue Yang had been detained elsewhere, got back too late and wasn't there when Xiao Xingchen could have chosen him but selected another orphan first...

Oh the sweet sweet pain....

In a similar way, I thought long and hard about their actual first encounter in canon and why it escalated the way it did and, yet again, my angst-driven self was like

What if all of it was in fact ultimately just based on one big unfortunate really minuscule misunderstanding?

What if what each of them thought they heard or what they said was not at all perceived the way it was intended to and what was meant to be said and heard?

What if they had even been trying to say something but were interrupted too soon and didn't get to say what might have been significant to diffuse the tensions and avoid any growing resentment?

So we might have Xiao Xingchen, who is actually quite smitten with young Xue Yang already, despite his rather unruly behaviour, and even muses about the younger’s potential as a cultivator when receiving the proper training, but before he can even begin to say anything along those lines, Xue Yang, who is already or still too heated and angry by Song Lan's attack, interprets XXCs manner all wrongly as self-important and haughty and interrupts him to lay words in his mouth and thus never learns of the man's true thoughts...

Another twisted knife to the heart for another possible diverging path to a better outcome not being taken...

And now you may lie with me, staring at the ceiling, contemplating our existence...

@verycatbluebird & @ba0shanblack

[monsterkissed]

You said you liked to share BNGN trivia, so you got any tidbits?

some assorted trivialities (spoilers for a fanfic up to the latest chapter):

the fic was originally envisioned (and partly written) as a series of drabbles! if i had kept that going, it would currently be 5,376 drabbles long.

tiramisu was written into the outline entirely as bait/tribute to my partners, who are big siamese fans. she is now the most popular oc i have ever made for anything. i considered writing an origin story fic for her back when there was a jjba oc zine in the works, but it fell thru and now it only lives in my head. it involves multiple murders : )

bngn is not phf-compliant bc i did not want to read it. to make up for this i promise to find other horrible things for fugo to go through instead <3

probably not news to anyone by this point but here is some explicit confirmation: the first prologue that opens the fic is not about doppio

there are so many cases of foreshadowing in the form of jokes or joke-adjacent statements at this point that i cannot actually remember them all. if you see me make a silly comment in this fic there is at least a 20% chance it's actually a very sneaky mean comment hiding behind the linear progression of time

when i first drafted the outline act 3 was much much shorter and had a few drastic differences. one of these was that polnareff (or at least one of him) would have survived to support the gang much as he does in the original VA, but i could not think of anything fun for him to do that didn't detract from everything else, or at least nothing more fun than the inexplicable spectacle of two dead polnareffs after all of the build-up towards him. rip, rip.

speaking of fun: i wanted to have every major character get at least one really cool moment, regardless of how central they were to the story. i didn't want anyone to feel like you could cut them out completely and it wouldn't matter, i wanted to keep that ensemble feel of VA and give everyone room to affect the story in important ways, even if the fic still obviously has its focusses. of the ones i've published so far, i think i like mista's intervention in the Trish & Dop vs Fugo fight best out of those moments because i just had so much fun writing and visualising it and he felt like a natural fit to provoke fugo's own position in the story as a person fixated on the objective facts (which he was canonically Not Wrong about, in terms of sticking with bruno being a dubious plan for anyone fond of staying alive) to face off against someone who operates more on vibes and rolling the dice.

way back in the depths of drabble-draft the flashbacks were going to occur chronologically, followed by the present day stuff. but as i became aware that this was growing into something i realised that this would be stitching two pretty drastically different fics together back to back, and decided instead to use the current format. in theory this was purely going to allow me to show doppio's relationship with diavolo alongside his absence from him, so we can see simultaneously why he values and misses him so much and what he's becoming without him. in practice it led to a bunch of smaller changes that built up into, among other things, the premise of the entire canon divergence. technically, all of the flashbacks in act 1 and 2 "take place" during ch. 30. there is an implication to this that so far nobody has commented on ;)

i spent an amount of time researching macdonalds in italy that i will never ever get back

speaking of researching things that don't matter to anyone but me: everywhere a major scene happens is based on a specific spot i hand-picked on google maps. i roamed a lot of italian countryside via satellite trying to find the Exact kind of big, ugly, concrete-floored farm i had in mind for the first secco fight

technically this fic (or at least the extended universe around it) has sorbet and gelato VA-style origin stories to go with their fanstands (which i had a lot of fun with, workshopping around ideas for things that would make for excellent and suitably juicy assassination tools but vulnerable in a stand vs stand battle). much like tiramisu, so does my second stand-using oc brodo (who also cameos in 'I Think We're Alone Now', because skulking around trying not to be noticed is his speciality) the third, katarina, is only mostly goncharov-inspired, and Heart of Glass was originally going to be one of the chapter titles for this fic. another song with a very similar title still will be!

i had no intention of narancia being as big a presence in the fic as he was, but the longer i wrote the more i realised that he's just too fun to put in a room with doppio. the scene where he accepts the truth made me feel genuinely like a bit of a horrible person because i'd enjoyed building up their friendship so much and it was one of those chapters where i knew Exactly what the character would want to do and exactly why it would be the thing that would hurt them the most.

when i was hammering out the outline for what would become this fic an artist i had been following released a song that i put on in the background while i wrote, and then stopped writing and went back to listen to it properly twelve or thirteen times because it was eerily vibing perfectly with some of the themes i had been kicking around in my head trying to make something out of. it put a few seeds in my head in the way that some things serendipitously do, so much so that i almost named the whole fic after it. in the end, i decided to affix it to just one chapter where i felt it would best set the tone for the imminent descent to come. that chapter would be chapter thirty-eight.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Good morning! I have discovered that all the stories that drive me up the goddamn wall in this series are written by the same fucking person.

Like, you're telling me... You had a dope as hell story like 'the Mimic' in the Nexie book... And you wasted all that time on antique furniture and unneeded exposition when you only have so many words for your short story? Are you for real?

Listen. This story could have been so fucking good and it pisses me off. If this had been standalone? With more time and a different author? Oh my GOD can you IMAGINE the impact that all would have had???

Like, imagine if we had more time with Edwin and David. Imagine if we got to see a strong, loving bond (which we sort of do but imagine if it had more time) between the two of them. Imagine if we could see the slow degradation of that bond, with Edwin getting more work done and David gradually starting to almost completely substitute his dad's attention for Mimic's. Imagine Edwin growing more of a fondness for Mimic over time. Imagine the living conditions improving with Edwin having more time and possibly money to do so, at the cost of time with his son. Imagine argument that highlights how David is feeling about all of this, or perhaps, Edwin finally setting time aside on his own to spend with David and suddenly realising that his son has somewhat moved on or compares him more to Mimic. Imagine that relationship starting to heal from this, starting to come back and Edwin making an effort to balance his time better...

Only for David to die in front of him.

And Mimic? Who was there when he wasn't? Who he'd designed to help not takeover? Who his son had compared him less than favourable to? Who is still repeating everything that David taught him?

There's your motivation. The memories that Mimic has that Edwin should have had.

Like are you shitting me?? The Storyteller came first with all its exposition, it could have leaned more into this. Have him investigate for the safety of the Plex, have him stay for the sake of trying to make things right. Let him have feelings, let him realise that Mimic is a living representation of his son, let him clearly try to fix the damage he's done, let him try and fix it with triangles and sticks to steer Mimic in the right direction.

Then let him get killed by the idiocy of a rich man that doesn't care. Let this fucking idiot rob Edwin of his last chance to reconnect in the only way he still can. Let the man in charge of Fazbear rob him of the chance to make things right because he didn't stay inline beneath his pristine shoes.

Do you see how fucking good this could have been if it had been given a real chance??? As it stands, we're just told about everything we should be shown, and then not told OR shown what needed to be to get any kind of big impact. It relies so hard on the uh oh scary robot stuffed a body in the fridge! aspect when it really didn't need to. The horror is in what has been done. The horror is in what has been created through grief and guilt. The horror is in the rich man taking joy in the death of a decent man trying to make things right, and dying to his own temper tantrum.

The horror is in realising that the thing that killed all the retrieval teams? The thing that we know is killing the kids in the epilogues? The one embodies the grieving rage of a father that's lost his son?

Is in control of the entire Pizzaplex. Just how many could it kill now that it has this power and no one to stop it? All it's going to take is the right prompting and it's all over.

Like, are you shitting me?? This could be one hell of a story and it's just... A soggy noodle of what it could have been. I want to read Tiger Rock in a minute because I've been robbed of the cool tigerbot this whole fucking time which was the only reason I was reading in the first place, but fucking hellfire man... This could have been so fucking good and Tiger Rock would be the best place to showcase the true extent of Mimic's reach now... But I'm not holding out hope it will ngl

[radioladioxfm]

Album Review: Rat Saw God by Wednesday

Release date: April 7, 2023 Genre: Indie rock, Shoegaze, Alternative country, Grunge Runtime: 37:03 'Rat Saw God' rotates through upbeat, sentimental, nostalgic, and furious moods and doesn't let up. If you like Midwest emo, guitar that's one part 90s grunge and one part 70s country, and tales of ODing in parking lots and getting high on Benedryl, go listen now! Rat Saw God is my favorite album of 2023.

About the band

I am glad that Wednesday, a band that hails from the mountains of Asheville, NC, chose to tour mainly in the South. They even kicked off their tour in my home town. Growing up in the South it can be hard to find cool, new bands playing live near you. But recently, I got the fuck out of the South and the only Wednesday show I could attend was in New York City. It sold out long before I knew about it. Bummer.

I got into Wednesday for their single, Feast of Snakes (2022) and later Handsome Man, a song off of their album, Twin Plagues (2021). I was instantly drawn to the angst in lead singer, Karly Hartzman's voice. The way it rises and falls on sustained notes. I've always been a sucker for a unique singing voice. The twangy banjo, grunge distortion, and vivid imagery of their lyrics were irresistible to me.

I've borrowed this review format from Tiktok user, DailyAlbumGuy. He's cool, you should follow him. Without further ado, here's the review.

Standout ⭐ Bull Believer

When I sat down for a first listen, Bull Believer grabbed me by the horns--pun intended. I didn't expect the meandering pace of this 8-minute song to give way to one of the rawest female vocal performances with a reference to Mortal Kombat. This song has earned its place on every "GIRLS SCREAMING" playlist. The buildup to that 6th minute breakdown is *chef's kiss* What a surreal choice to make it the second song on the album. I would've put it later, but hey it got my attention so maybe that means I'm wrong.

After that amazing concert-finale-type song, it picks back up not giving you not a second to recover. The best type of Wednesday song is one where the lyrics sound like a personal story remembered, written down in a journal, and still sitting at the back of your mind. Waiting there for an intimate gathering between friends for a chance to be retold. Rat Saw God is full of those songs.

Catchiest 🦗 Chosen to Deserve

I particularly love the country sound of Chosen to Deserve. To be clear, I don't mean country country. I mean the romantic version of country I have in my head where it's a little raccoon and possum in cowboy outfits sitting around a campfire. Folk country. It's so sweet and dreamy. It's a vulnerable love song. Have you ever felt that you have so many skeletons in your closet that any lover who will have you needs to read your warning label first? "I'm the girl that you have chosen to deserve"

Standout 🔈 Quarry

Quarry makes me picture the faces of folks in my dad's neighborhood in western Massachusetts. The friendships I fostered with kids there every summer break growing up. Running around, overhearing neighborhood gossip. The stories Wednesday songs tells are very rural suburban-core. Setting the scene in towns like Sevierville AKA home of Miss Dolly Parton herself. I really empathize with their desire to talk about the places they grew up with frankness and fondness, even when it's not so glamorous.

"With any writing, I just think I’m impressed with people that are able to describe their own life in a way that captures how original everyone’s life is. It’s harder than you would think to find the things that make you and your life what it is." - Karly Hartzman (source)

My favorite 💜 Bath County

This song is the real reason why I want to talk about this album. It topped my Spotify Wrapped. I listened to this song every time I had a bad day in 2023... which was a lot. This song carried me through it.  I would blast this song in my car to sing along, emphasizing the words bad luck in "Every daughter of god, has a little bad luck sometimes." It's so Midwest emo. I could quote so many lyrics that I love. From the "Sippin' piss colored, bright yellow Fanta" to the "Be my baby 'til my body's in the ground". Guitarist Jake Lenderman (same guy from MJ Lenderman), absolutely shreds too. I adore this song. Bonus points for the not-so-subtle Christian imagery at the start of the song. As a former Catholic, I love a little blasphemy.

[ego-morior]

LIX:

March 16, 2024.

Healing isn't linear, at least that's what I've come to understand two weeks shy of my 31st birthday.

My body decided to celebrate the four year anniversary of Covid by getting it for the first time. I've lost my sense of smell and taste and have been out of work for a week. I'm currently making breakfast; cheese grits with soft scrambled eggs and bacon. The southern culture has clearly seeped into my current food cravings.

As I stirred the grits while the hot water claimed each speck, I thought about how funny it was to have gotten Covid four years after the fact. I thought about four years ago. I thought about that two week vacation we all thought we were getting. I remembered how serious it had gotten when I went to my first job and they laid me off because I had a second job, only to go to my second job for them to tell me I was laid off because I had another job. I remember crying so bad on my friend's couch that I passed out until it was dark out. I remember spending my newly found free time reading or playing animal crossing on my friend's front porch, feeling the leisure of a drawn-out wonderful sunny afternoon. I remember thinking back then that it couldn't be the end of the world because the birds still chirped the same.

And then, for the first time in a very long time, I remembered him.

I remembered how my heart fell into the depths of my stomach when I saw his name on my phone screen after so much time had passed and how I feared the worst. When I finally got the courage to answer, he said a simple "hi."

We eased into conversation as if no time had passed us. He asked how I was and how my family was doing, and I naturally did the same. We laughed about how crazy the world had gotten lately, and when words were hard to find, it was the loudest silence I had ever heard. Although our time together had ended, when the idea of the world ending slipped into reality, he gently considered me, the person he experienced life with for 8 years. I think at the end of the conversation, I cried a bit, but I don't really remember anything after that call.

The fondness of that memory melted into my heart, and within seconds, an overwhelming sense of rage and frustration took over. I can't honestly tell you why or for what reason, but what I do know is that my blood boiled and my tears had managed to pierce through uninvited. And in that moment, at the end of that string of thoughts tied loosely together by a random single memory, I thought of my mother.

I thought of her.

And her fits of rage and frustration.

And I cried even more.

I think in that moment I even cried for her.

My mother had fallen in love with my father the same way I had once fallen in love with the man who called me during Covid. He was her first in every way, and every new treasured experience was made with him and his face embedded in its memory.

After their separation, she stewed in resentment for decades, and there was never another love in her life again. Later on, when I was older, she confided in me about how my father had helped ruin all of the hopes she had for her life. She mentioned sadly, almost in embarrassment, that after realizing the existence of me inside her, she was suddenly flooded with the endless possibilities that laid out in front of her. She envisioned a big family, a loving home, shared holidays and a shared life, a brand new purpose in life, one that wouldn't be so difficult and so lonely along the way.

But things didn't work out that way.

She never got that large home or the extra kids she had already picked out names for. She never wore that white dress. She never had a consecutive Valentine's or an anniversary present. She never got the chance to experience watching someone else grow old alongside her with photos and videos as proof.

Sometimes, in my own selfish way, I forget she was once young and stupid in love too. Sometimes, more than I'd like to admit, I forget I am molded in her likeness. I've become the age where I look in the mirror and see the face she wore when I was younger. And I look into my eyes and recognize the same sadness that lingered in hers.

So many years have passed since my first and only relationship, I've come to understand that my reluctance to embrace new connections and refusal to let others know me on a deeper level, is merely a reflection of my mother's earnest plea to shield herself from enduring that kind of pain ever again.

And as the grits bubbled violently in front of me, I began to stir harder than I cried. I realized, if I am only half my mother's bitterness when it comes to love, then I understand why she was the way she was back then, and why she is the way she is now.

I finally turn off the burner, the cheese and butter now fully incorporated into the ripples of the mixture in front of me. The grits are done, and so is the unexpected love letter I ranted in my head for my mother. And while I began pouring some into a bowl, I contemplated calling her just to say a simple "hi."

[rehkkuma]

she's all yours | okuyasu x reader

summary: unlike his partner in crime, Okuyasu lacked experience in the dating field. Once he believes that he may have a chance with his crush, his best friend begins to get in the way.

words: 1.8k

disclaimers/tags: fem pronouns, modern AU (basically just phones being involved), tiny bit of angst, fluff, and cursing.

He was staring again. The poor 16-year-old boy couldn't help but notice every single detail about her: the slight tilt in her walk whenever she went up the stairs, how she would tie her shoes, and the unfortunate glint of light in her eyes whenever she spoke with his best friend.

Y/n L/n was someone extremely special to him (whether she knew it or not). She could read his expressions so clearly, sometimes knowing more about Okuyasu than Okuyasu did himself. The emotions he couldn't quite put his finger on, she always had an answer to. At times, he felt undeserving of the friendship he had with her. After coming to terms with his developing feelings for the girl, of course she began to get closer with his best friend.

He was painfully aware of the difference in treatment he received compared to Josuke. While Josuke could be referenced as Morioh's pretty-boy delinquent, Okuyasu was more like the intimidating ruffian that stood by his side. Obviously, Y/n did not think of Okuyasu in that way, but her perception of him didn't matter if he was considered nothing more than a friend.

"Hey," Josuke called out, concerned for his friend.

"Y-Yeah?" Okuyasu stuttered, trying to regain his thoughts.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

Okuyasu silently thanked Y/n for standing in a crowd with other students. If she stood any further from the school's front entrance, it would've been easy for Josuke to pinpoint who he was eyeing.

"Nothing, really. Just thought I saw a cute girl."

Josuke shrugged his shoulders, repositioning himself so his back laid more comfortably against the tree. "Well, if you do see one, ask 'em out or somethin'. I wanna see you have your first kiss before we graduate," he chuckled.

"Mhm, yup," Okuyasu responded, eyes now glued to the grass he was sitting on. He was about to spew out a self-deprecating joke but stopped himself once he noticed Y/n approaching the two of them. Immediately, he recognized Josuke's energy shift from disinterest to eagerness.

"Y/n!" Josuke cheerfully said, waving at the girl.

"Hi, you two!" she waved back. Once coming close enough, she sat down along with the boys, her knees lacing together in a criss-cross position. Because of the short distance between her and Okuyasu, the boy could smell the flowery essence emitting off of her body. He wasn't too fond of fragrances, but the one Y/n had was light and sweet-- perfectly suiting her personality.

Before he knew it, Okuyasu was staring again. The only thing that got him to snap back into reality was the cry of laughter Y/n let out after Josuke made a funny remark.

"Did you hear that Okuyasu?" Y/n choked out, leaning back with both hands on her stomach.

"Y-Yeah." Okuyasu fake laughed, really having no clue what the hell was going on.

"God," Y/n sighed as she wiped off the faint tears forming in her eyes. "I wish I could hang out with you guys a bit longer, but I just wanted to drop by and say hi. I gotta help out with some chores tonight."

"It's all good," Josuke smiled. "But only if you promise to call me tonight."

The girl rolled her eyes while getting up from the ground. "We'll have to see about that, Jojo!" She then stuck her tongue out before scurrying off to her house.

Josuke chuckled, slowly placing his chin on the palm of his hand. "She's pretty cute, isn't she?" he said, eyes glued to the girl's figure in the distance.

"Yeah, she sure is."

* * *

Okuyasu could remember the first time he met her as clear as day: his hands were tucked deep into his pockets, feet dragging along the sidewalk while he was on his way to school. Unlike his regular routine, Josuke was unable to walk with him due to an argument breaking out between him and his mother. It seemed like a bummer at the moment, but maybe it was actually a blessing in disguise.

"Fuck!"

In front of Okuyasu's feet laid a girl. Her uniform was stained with a bright red juice and its can rolled next to her. He didn't recall exactly what happened, but he did feel someone's face hit his chest before hearing a thud.

"I didn't get any on you, did I?" the girl asked with panic.

Okuyasu, hands still in his pockets, shook his head. "Mnn. Don't think you did."

"Okay, thank God. These stains are so hard to get rid of."

That was one of the first things that Okuyasu remembered from Y/n. Her casual way of talking was enough to make any stranger feel like a good friend. Something about this girl piqued his interest.

"Guess it's not your first time, huh?" he hummed.

"You'd think I'd learn my lesson after the third time."

After the small accident, Okuyasu took the girl to the laundromat. Classes would begin in any minute, but neither one of the pair minded skipping it.

"Oi, what're you gonna be wearin' in the meantime? Don'tcha think the teacher's gonna kick your ass for showing up like that?" Okuyasu pointed at the revealing tank top she wore.

"Yeah, definitely. That's why you should totally let me borrow your top," she winked.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself. I don't even have a clue on what your name is."

"L/n." she replied crassly. "It's Y/n L/n."

That was several months ago. Since then, their relationship started to significantly grow. From sending short texts to sharing a few inside jokes, to hanging out every other day after school. In Okuyasu's eyes, it was inevitable for him to fall for a girl like her.

Right before he could spill about his crush to his best friend, Josuke had already introduced himself to her. It crushed Okuyasu to see the girl he loves slowly start to move on from him-- to his own best friend nevertheless.

All of his frustrations were best to be kept to himself. No way could he express his jealousy to Josuke or Y/n. Out of all the girls that fawned over Josuke, why did she have to be one of them?

**Brring**

Okuyasu rolled his body to the other side of his bed. On a nightstand was his phone that rang. The alarm was just loud enough to break through the pessimistic thoughts roaring through his brain.

"Who's this?" he asked, too lazy to check the contact number.

"It's me, Okuyasu! Why, is it that hard to use a second of your time to check the contact name?"

He recognized that voice anywhere. It was her.

"Aw, look. I was in bed, alright?" he smiled, feeling his mood change immediately after speaking with her.

A small giggle echoed from the other end of the phone. "Alright! I wasn't here to nag you all night anyways." The girl then cleared her throat with a cough before soon speaking again. "I was thinking we should hang out tomorrow. For ice cream, maybe. Just us."

Small butterflies began to form in his stomach from hearing the last sentence. "Just us" had never sounded better.

"Sounds good to me."

"Great!" she nearly interrupted. "A-Ah, sorry! I just got excited. It feels like we've been parting ways the past couple of weeks, but I promise tomorrow's gonna make up for it!"

"It's alright," Okuyasu sighed. "See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow!" she repeated.

* * *

Was it just Okuyasu or did she look way cuter today? The makeup she wore differed from the one she usually had on, her accessories managed to compliment her eyes even more, and she even put an effort into customizing her uniform like Josuke and Okuyasu despite expressing her laziness multiple times. She looked like an absolute doll.

"Hmph." She huffed. "You've been doing that a lot lately," she said flatly.

"Doing what?"

"Staring at me like I'm some crazy person."

Okuyasu internally panicked for a few seconds but composed himself. "You just look pretty lately, that's all."

He expected a cheeky comeback in return but was left with a bashful smile from her instead.

"Let's just hurry up and get ice cream..." she said, eyes faced to the ground.

Okuyasu nodded at her suggestion and began to walk, making sure his pace wasn't too fast for Y/n. He'd occasionally give a glance at her direction to know if he was walking at a comfortable speed for her.

Several minutes of walking and a few casual conversations later, the duo made it to the ice cream shop. Y/n ordered a mix of her two favourite flavours while Okuyasu ordered two scoops of mocha almond fudge. Feeling a bit more gentleman-like today, Okuyasu insisted on paying for the both of them.

"Thanks for the ice cream!" the girl said, taking a small lick of the cone. "I feel like the more I hang out with you, the more things I owe you back," she chuckled as the two left the shop.

"Don't sweat it. Hangin' out with you's enough for me." Okuyasu smiled.

"Ah, really?" she blushed. "That's... really sweet of you."

There she did it again. No witty comeback. Just a flustered reply.

"Somethin' up with you? Eat something bad today?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"You're just actin' a bit different, that's all. Not sayin' it's bad though. I kinda like it." Okuyasu continued to walk on the sidewalk but stopped once he realized Y/n was frozen still. "Hey, you comin'?"

Y/n began to slowly jog her way to Okuyasu. When she caught up with him, she paused once more, now looking into the young boy's eyes. "I feel like you don't hear yourself talk sometimes," she said. "I can't tell if you're flirting or you're just naturally this oblivious."

He didn't know how to respond. He was starting to get nervous from how close their faces were. If he wanted to, he could practically count each beauty mark on her face.

"Well?" she said.

"Well..." Okuyasu tried to come up with something but found himself paying more attention to the girl's lips. They looked plush and soft with a slight glossy coat from the ice cream.

Eventually, the girl noticed where he was looking at. Slowly, she closed the already small gap between the two.

"Okuyasu," she breathed out with a gentle tone. "I really like you."

"I-" he stuttered. "Not Josuke?"

"Josuke?" She covered her mouth with the back of her hand and chuckled. "I don't know what you think is going on between us, but it's not that. He's not exactly my type either."

Okuyasu couldn't believe what he was hearing. Before he could say anything back, he felt her lips against his right cheek. It was a delicate kiss. Maybe a bit sticky, but it made his heart do several backflips nevertheless.

Once her lips left his skin, she stood awkwardly in front of him. The way she looked up at his eyes with that lovestruck gaze made Okuyasu realize something he didn't before: he wouldn't need to jealous of other guys. It was clear that Y/n L/n was all his.

[enjxxl]

|| jake x reader

genre : angst ; idol

pairing : idol!reader x idol!jake

warnings : crying ; reader is insecure about themselves : fluff towards the end if you squint hehe

word count : 2.2k

note : sorry for any miss spellings, i don't do any proof reading. also this is written to where corona never happened.

you never realized how hard it was after your debut, even harder than your trainee days. especially when you debuted through a survival show.

all throughout the survival show you were nervous if you would even make it to debut as you felt, compared to the other members on the show, you lacked talent. during the last episode of the show you had lost all hope as the members were being announced, your hope slowly going down the drain. and as you stood with one other person you felt it in you that you weren't going to debut. but as the last person was announced it hit with surprise. your name was announced. it all felt surreal to you and you couldn't believe what the judges had said. had they really said your name?

you had looked towards the other members standing to the side, grins on their faces as they motioned for you to join them. when it finally had hit you that you made it, you couldn't help but burst into tears as you thanked the judges for giving you the opportunity to debut and thanking all the fans who had voted for you.

now, as you sit in the waiting room after your debut stage you couldn't help but feel giddy. the sweat rolled down your face and down your back but you didn't particularly care, you were just happy you finally had the chance after the 5 years you had spent training and working for this day.

"how'd it feel, y/n," your manager sat down next to you as they scrolled through their phone, looking at what was next on the schedule.

"surreal," you sighed out, the exhaustion rolling through you in one hit. as much as you loved the feeling of performing and seeing all your smiling fans you couldn't help but loath the exhaustion that came with it.

"glad to hear, next on the schedule is a variety show so get ready for that," your manager walked out leaving you by yourself in the small room. because you were the only girl in your group, you had to use a separate waiting room from the rest of the boys but you were honestly glad as it gave a moment of peace from their loud and bubbly personalities.

you finished getting ready for the next schedule and walked out with your manager when he had come back to get you. you had dressed down in comfier clothing as you knew you were just going to change again as soon as you got to the other building.

"y/n! i can't wait to watch the performance of us tonight!" you met up with the other boys as you walked out of the building and you agreed with the tall boy. jake, the tall boy, was the first person you had made a connection with during the survival show. you were thankful that jake was the first since he had helped you all throughout the show. when you were struggling with anything, jake was always their to help you. you were growing so fond of the boy that you couldn't help but slowly grow feelings for him. of course you would never be able to tell him since you were both in the same group but you couldn't help what your heart was feeling for him. you knew you had a 0% chance with him and as much as it hurt to admit and come to terms with, it was better that way.

"i bet it caught you stepping on my foot, jake," you couldn't help but scold him and slap his arm as during the performance he had stepped on your foot twice.

"it was an accident," he pouted, rubbing his arm. you smiled at him and gave him a side hug while you walked outside the building, not noticing the cheeky smile he had given you as you wrapped your arm around him. however, what you had not expected as soon as you walked out was to be bombarded, the flashing lights shocked you and blinded you for a few seconds as you instinctively hid behind one of your members, burying your face behind his back so as to not be blinded again. you were pushed and pulled from every direction as you tried to hold onto him but you were soon separated from the other boys the only thing holding back the fans were two bodyguards, one on each side. you lifted your head and continued walking, trying hard not to stumble and fall from the blinding lights.

your heart race picked up as you kept walking as it felt like it was taking forever to get to the van which wasn't even parked far away from the building you were exiting. when you finally made it into the car you threw yourself inside and sat next to a worried jake.

"hey, you ok? who would've thought it would already be like this," he looked at you, a worried expression on your face as you breathed a sigh of a relief as you saw all seven of them in the car as well.

"yeah, im fine, i just got lost in there," you sunk yourself into the car seat as the van started driving to the next destination. the other members gave you worried expressions and after reassuring them once more they all either went to looking at their phones or sleeping during the short car ride.

the only one who never looked away was jake. he noticed your shaking hands as you held them trying to not make it too obvious you were so shaken up about what had just happened. he grabbed your hand in his rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand to help calm you down.

"i'm ok, really," you whispered out the reassurance but you honestly didn't know who exactly you were trying to reassure, jake or yourself.

the rest of the schedules wrapped up nicely and as you all arrived at the dorm you immediately went into your room, throwing yourself onto your bed. you were exhausted from the first day of jam packed schedules and all you wanted to do was rest as you had to be up in only a couple of hours. the dorm was filled with busy sounds as all the members caught up with each other before it finally died down as everyone had been tired and wanted to rest.

as exhausted as you were, you were anxious. the debut performance was finally up and you wanted to see what the reactions were so naturally you had searched up the performance. you watched the performance one time all the way through, beaming at your members. they all looked so good and you did in fact notice the camera was able to get in frame jake stepping onto your foot not only once but twice. you giggled to yourself as you saw your face scrunch up slightly in pain and jake showed a shocked expression. it only lasted for a second as the camera cut to a different shot but it was still a funny moment you caught.

your nervousness amped up as you scrolled through the comments, most of them were positive but there were a few that stood out to you.

sh**** commented

why did hybe even let a girl like that debut? she has no talent and she's so unattractive. ridiculous.

ex****** commented

the other members must be embarrassed to have a girl like her in the group, her dancing sucks and her vocals are non existent how is she even a main vocal???

even though there were more positive comments about the performance you couldn't help but let the negative comments get to you. tears welled up in the corner of your eyes and they finally started dropping as you kept reading the comments. all the negative comments were about you. your mind couldn't help but blur all the words together in your mind ; talentless, embarrassing, unfit, untalented. it was all overwhelming and you couldn't help the sob that left your mouth. you covered your mouth, looking up towards the door and waiting in silence for a few seconds to make sure no one was coming and let the tears flow down your face.

thinking about all the events that unfolded earlier in the day, you couldn't help but feel engulfed with all the emotions you had kept inside of you throughout the day. you had looked forward to your debut for years and even though you enjoyed being around your members and you know you had fans that accepted you and loved you but it still hurt to know you had so many who hated you.

a knock at the door halted your running thoughts and put them on pause as you looked up, finding a concerned jake peeking through the door.

"y/n? what's wrong, oh my god are you ok?" you were stilled in shock, not expecting jake to suddenly come knocking at your door. he came in kneeling down to your level and grabbing your face in his hands.

"i thought you were asleep," you muttered up a response as you tried to wipe your tears, failing in the process as even more tears fall down.

"hey hey, you're doing ok. i promise," jake tried wiping your tears but his efforts were in vain as his fingers were being drenched with your tears. as soon as those words left his mouth you couldn't but let out a sob as the weight of his words hit you. you didn't feel like you were doing ok and the thoughts went from still to running again.

jake, seeing that his words only made it worse, wrapped his arms around you whispering even more encouraging words in your ear. you wrapped your own arms around him and crumbled in his embrace.

"they don't like me jake, maybe i'm really not fit to be in enhypen," you stuttered out your feelings. once jake wrapped his arms around you, you knew it was over. jake knew how to make you weak and he knew how to make you vulnerable without him even trying. you hated how he could see through you but you were also grateful. grateful that even if he didn't reciprocate the same emotions as you did, all you really needed was his presence.

"i don't know what's going on behind that pretty little head of yours but i need you to know that you are fit for enhypen. it may not seem like it but we all need you and enhypen wouldn't be enhypen without you. you are perfect the way you are," jake always knew just the right words to make you feel at peace. your thoughts finally stopped and dispersed, his words filling the earlier negative ones.

"thank you, jake i don't know what i would do without you," you hugged him tighter than before and you both finally let go of each other, him wiping the last few tears off of your face.

"how about we get some sleep? we have to be up in a few so let's get as much rest as we can," you agreed with him and you both got up. he left your room not long after and you swiftly got into bed, pulling the covers up to your shoulders, the only thing peeping out from under the blanket was your head. not long after jake had left, he came barging back in, scaring you as you were just about to fall asleep. you watched as he laid a blanket and a pillow down on the floor next to your bed, getting under the blanket and resting his head on the pillow. you looked up at you as you were peeking over the bed and gave you a smile.

"what are you doing?" you whispered.

"im sleeping right here, i don't want you alone on your first night after debut and plus, everyone else has a roomate anyway," he gave you one last glance before closing his eyes and getting comfortable on the floor. why did he always know what to do? why did he always make you feel special?

you ignored your fast beating heart and laid back down in your own bed. after a few minutes of silence you still laid awake, staring at the ceiling of your room.

"jake?"

"hmm?"

"can i hold your hand?" you let your hand rest over the side of your bed as the weight of your words settled into the quiet night and you couldn't help but get nervous. you didn't know why you were getting so bold but you wanted to be comforted and held. and holding hands was close enough.

after a few seconds you finally felt his hands grip yours tightly and you felt his warmth comfort you in mere seconds. it wasn't long before you had fallen asleep, your body shifting closer towards the edge of the bed so you could hold jake's hand more comfortably. jake, however, had not succumbed to the night, him looking up at you as he let out a sigh.

"what do i do, y/n? i really like you."

[may-day-voice]

please do not repost, but you have permission to reblog :)

• Watch/ Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zBq6DB8NS3I

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The Rook

Part of Villain AU Phase One | 122532019

Your heart fluttered in your chest, breathing slowly and silently in a cramped small space, tucking your legs close to your chest in an attempt to shrink into a ball.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," cooed the smooth voice, his boots slowly trekking through the commercial kitchen. You dared not peek from your hiding spot, eyeing the warped reflection of his body against the silver surfaces of the cabinetry. Not much has changed, except for those gnarled, tattered wings that draped along the floor behind him.

"Oh come on Pidge. This game is getting old," he purred, his wings fluttering violently against the tables, shuddering the cutlery with a brutish clang. Your shoulders hitched from the sound, clasping your hands around your mouth to keep your breath still. As long as you breathed quietly, he may not find you.

Your eyes peered towards the roof of the kitchen, visualizing yourself still in your hiding spot while the map of the kitchen laid before you in a shadowy reflection. There amongst the map, stood Hawks, his eyes still scanning the kitchen while you began to visualize all probabilities available to him and you. Many revealed failed escape attempts, a few highlighted failure staying where you were; with each probable outcome, the hope of escape was extremely slim.

His boots scuffed before you, still hiding in that tiny hole between the tables. He stopped where he stood, turning every once in a while to survey the empty commercial kitchen, twirling a bright rouge feather in his fingers. He stared at the tiny down, smirking at its colour and vibrancy.

"Smart of you to leave this behind Pidge. You've caught on real quick," he mused while the feather floated in his palm, still attached to its necklace. "But a promise is a promise, and I'm here to return it back to you."

You stared back at the ceiling, ignoring his legs to find that your chances were slipping away with each passing breath. Would he walk by? Or would he find you? You knew he knew better. It all came down to tactical strategy and advantage. He would play his Bishop, which left you with-

"Found you Pidge!"

You kicked into his face as hard as your legs could spring from your hiding spot, catching him off guard briefly before you leapt out and ran for the exit. Your Knight had to take the place of a pawn, leaving you some breathing space to escape. You slammed into the swinging double doors, running down the hall towards the lobby where you had three choices. Exit the building, find your way to the underground garage, or call for help from the reception. You had to keep yourself six steps ahead and find your pawns to halt his advance. The numbers ran through your head, the percentages of success depending on Hawks' recovery and his speed. Getting out would mean a great advantage to the Flying Hero, calling for help was an outlying choice dependent on who would receive your call and for how long. Out of all of your choices, the quickest to give you some time was the underground garage.

Your feet echoed in the dark and empty lobby, only lit by the moonlight through the large windows that revealed the illuminated street lights of the city. Your eyes darted between the elevator or the stairs. Which one would give you more time?

A slam of the doors echoed from behind, revealing Hawks soaring through the hall before he emerged into the lobby, floating above the expanse of the room with his eyes darting everywhere. His blind left eye was of no use, relying so much on his only functioning eye to spot the lights of the elevator illuminate, sending the box to the lobby floor. He floated towards the ground until a sliver of light caught his eye, catching the fire emergency door slowly and hauntingly close. A smirk crawled on his lips before his feet landed on the floor, fluttering his wings from the strain. He stared at the door, contemplating his own choices before he entered through it, taking the flight of stairs down.

The lobby fell silent again, except for the ding of the elevator's door opening absently on the floor. You slowly peeked your head from the reception desk, having hidden under it for the time Hawks had witnessed his available choices. He had an advantage on you in the long run if you had continued to run, exerting all your energy into escaping with the likelihood of Hawks catching up to you. Bluffing was your only option to give you some time.

With Hawks having taken the bait, you carefully collected the phone from the desk, taking the machine under with you. You didn't want to take any chances of Hawks realizing any movement from above now at this stage of the game.

Dialing a set of numbers, you were met with a familiar dial tone, shrinking yourself into a ball with the reception phone in your lap. Your breath was still again, inhaling slowly and exhaling quietly.

"If I show you, then I know you won't tell what I said," spoke a young voice on the line, the gruffness lining his irritation.

"Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead," you answered in a low whisper, still with a quiet breath.

"Hey, where are you?" Asked the voice laced with worry and surprise despite that gruff undertone.

"The old Commission building," you whispered.

"This whole time?"

"Hawks is here too," you continued, eyeing the ceiling once more. "Look, I don't know how long I have left hiding here until he realizes my bluff. What's the status over there?"

"We're on standby. Things are out of control. We've lost our lead investigator for... Deku." The voice strained when it uttered the name, hearing the disdain and the hurt.

"I'm sorry Izumi," you spoke, eyeing your probable outcomes along the tall ceiling of the lobby, eyeing your chances of escape growing slimingly thin.

"Anyway, our insider is still on the case about Todoroki, and we've informed them to advise others out in the field," continued Kota.

"How is Eri?"

"Fine."

You still controlled your breathing, forcing your reaction to his abrupt reply down into the pit of your stomach. He had always been protective of Eri. Not at first, but when the world flipped on its head, it became his purpose. You smiled inwardly at the thought, lucky to find upcoming Heroes in the making in these darker times.

"We can get to you-"

"No," you interrupted. "This is Riot Territory. I don't want you to run in head first while Red Riot is roaming about."

"Then, what do you want us to do?"

Your eyes darted with every outcome that played out on the ceiling above, the shadowy reflection revealing all possibilities with varying levels of failure. In the end, your heart sank. You've reached the endgame phase with only two options left - both zugzwang.

"Hey, are you listening?" spoke Izumi, his voice anxious. "We can't let them have you!"

"I'm sorry Izumi," you whispered, halting the quiet breaths you forced yourself to breathe. "You need to look after Eri. She's going to have to make a big decision soon."

"No, no, no, don't you dare make that decision," he retorted. "It's not yours to make!"

"Make sure the Shimanos are present as well. Eri trusts Katsuma just as much she does with you," you suggested while you slowly stood to your feet from under the desk.

"Stop talking like we're going ahead with that decision. I hated the fact that dumbass even thought of the plan. We are not going ahead with that plan."

You smiled at his irate response, while you placed the phone on the reception desk, now out of hiding. The lobby was silent except for the echo of your voice filling the room, breathing freely from your practiced silent breaths earlier during the night.

"Izumi-"

"We need you back here! We've lost too much now, we can't lose anymore!" His voice echoed through the earpiece, adding an echo in the lobby while you smiled at his reply.

"Then win," you replied calmly. "Win the fight where we couldn't."

You immediately ended the call, slamming the phone into the desk before the rush of air slammed through the emergency doors. Feathers circled around you, grabbing hold of your clothes and carrying you inches from the floor. Hawks entered the lobby, his now featherless wings bearing the scarred tissue left behind from his injuries years ago. His eyes stared into yours, grabbing hold of your chin to force your gaze into his.

"Thought you could outsmart me Pidge?" He queried with a teasing grin. "You almost had me."

"Almost," you emphasized. "I still had you going."

"Yes, but you can't rely on your bluffs forever. Like I said, your games are getting old." His lips closed in on yours, feeling his breath wash over the skin. He was teasing now. You couldn't tell what your body felt - disgusted, revolted, or was that old flame being ignited again, even if it were a glimpse into what he used to be before his mind went mad.

"So, are you going to tell me who you were talking to?" He asked, catching you off guard. "I could be jealous if you gave me the reason why."

You swallowed, raking through your mind on your response. You didn't account for him eavesdropping the breath of your last words on the phone call. Thankfully, he wouldn't have been able to discern the words you spoke, but lying about the phone call wasn't an option.

Hawks was only met with a silent tongue.

"Aw Pidge, we shouldn't be keeping secrets from each other. Trust goes both ways, am I right?" He cooed with a grin. "How about this? You don't have to tell me anything, but I'm going to have to take you with me to a friend of ours for a while. Seems you're not fond of going down memory lane with me here."

His statement was laughable, but to an extent, he was reaching. After he had captured you yesterday, he had brought you to this decrepit building only to relive memories of what once was. It was a day of cat and mouse, one that went astray after your original game plan had shifted drastically. You opened with a King's Gambit by feeding into his plot, offering yourself for capture to make it seem that he had succeeded. However, throughout the day. He had thwarted most of your available moves and outcomes. You read him like a book, but so did he.

With a tug of his feathers, you were pulled towards the front doors, followed by Hawks who kept his steely gaze on you. Perhaps there was a way out from this, you thought, eyeing the outside street lights from your peripherals. You contemplated the notion of what very little options you had left, until you spotted Hawks pull a small bottle from his person, dowsing a cloth in what substance it contained.

Immediately, he shoved the cloth into your face, covering your nose and mouth that filled with a sweet and nutty scent. You struggled recognizing that smell, pulling at the small tugs of Hawks' feathers before your limbs felt limp.

"Now, relax Pidge," reassured Hawks through your drowsiness. "I'll make sure you're comfortable when you wake up."

That sweet scent was the last you recalled before your eyes fluttered shut, your head feeling light from the dizziness. Of course, it was chloroform.

Knocked out and comatose, you dangled from Hawks' feathers before they gently released you into his arms, each one returning to his back while he hissed in pain. His Quirk felt like a nuisance now, each use of it always a burden on his body. His painful cries echoed in the lobby, leaving his wings limp while they dragged along the floor.

"You'll be in safe-keeping Pidge," he remarked, straining his back to lift his wings, spreading them ready for take-off. With a push, his wings lifted himself from the ground with you in his arms, flying into the night sky while he made his way across Musatafu. He aimed towards the salty breeze, finding his way to Endor Docks for another well-deserved appointment.

[ruewrites]

Wait asks being open means requests are open right??? If yes OH MY GOD IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS DAY SINCE AGES

Could you pls pls pls pls do a dialuci fic except it's a royal au? Like dia and Luci are set to get married but Luci didn't want to until he saw Dia?? I know this isn't your primary ship but it would mean the WORLD to me (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Meeting His Prince

AO3

Ship: Diavolo/Lucifer

Word Count: 2008

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi Anon! First of all, thank you. When I finished up WBT, I was thinking about writing a royalty au, and this request acutally made me plot it out. I guess this will be a psuedo prequel to it? But I want Dialuci to be a ship in it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!

Lucifer had his clothing pressed and his crown polished. A crowned prince had to make a good impression being the shining jewel of the growing empire of Arcadia. Yet it wasn’t his clothing that worried his father. It was Lucifer’s expression.

To say he was happy was far from correct. Lucifer never gave much thought to marriage. Honestly, he’d be happy ruling Arcadia without anyone by his side. He’d spent much of his time caring for his siblings and learning how to rule over the kingdom, so an heir wasn’t an idea he was fond of. It was something he knew had been expected of him as well. Producing a strong line of future kings and queens to lead Arcadia had been in the stars for him according to his father. 

Perhaps he had read the stars wrong.

The memory of Father bursting through the palace doors uttering curses under his breath. Apparently the prince had been rather persistent with his demands. His father wanted to make an alliance with this kingdom horribly so. Apparently the prince was rather effective in the way he ruled and was a skilled strategist. He would be a powerful addition to Arcadia, but he was stubborn once he’d made his decision. Strategist indeed if he could get the King of Arcadia to give into his demands. The anger in the king’s eyes when he told Lucifer that he had been chosen burned Lucifer’s very soul.

Lucifer knew where this anger was coming from, not that he cared all that much. He’d never really given too much thought to what his paternal figure wanted from him. Why start now?

His siblings had all had varying reactions: sighing about the ‘romance’ of the situation, poking fun at him, and in some cases offering sympathy. He just wanted to stay neutral about it. The end goal for him was to be a worthy future king of Arcadia, this was just a stepping stone he had to take to get there. Other issues surrounding this engagement could be figured out with time. He had time. He just needed to stay level headed. 

He hadn’t noticed the clock ticking down to his wedding day, he hadn’t even realized that he’d never met his fiance despite the flood of letters that were sent his way once a month.  It seemed odd. Lucifer wasn’t really sure how to react to the attention and aggressive affection. The entire situation felt more like a relationship with a paramour rather than an arranged marriage for the good of their kingdoms. For now, it was best to push it to the back of his mind and deal with it when the time came. There wasn’t any point in fighting anything lest he cause conflict that would certainly affect more people than just him. 

Ah the life of being a royal.

Lovely wasn’t it? 

The day of the foreign prince’s arrival, Lucifer spent hours pacing around the palace overlooking every tiny detail. Of course he could change his mind at any moment and Lucifer couldn’t have that happen. This was for the good of Arcadia. He glanced over the arrangement of food on the table one last time before letting out a sigh. 

Composure was key.

He was the pride of Arcadia.

Nothing could break him.

Nothing could throw him off guard.

Nothing-

“Lucifer!”

Lucifer didn’t even have time to process the situation. Strong arms wrapped around him, suffocating him in a tight embrace. He struggled, gasping for air and attempting to escape from the steel grip capturing him. When he did manage some distance, his hair was a mess and his clothes were disheveled. 

Golden eyes met his own, sparkling like gold coins reflecting the summer sun. 

“You’re even more beautiful in person,” the other prince’s voice came out as a whisper, as firm hands gently cupped his face, “You’re as radiant as an angel-”

He was a puppy. A giant puppy. 

“Oh how lucky I am to be married to such a gorgeous man.”

“We’re not married yet,“ Lucifer hoped he didn’t sputter as he pulled away.  This was hardly the professional meeting he’d been expecting. This was their first time meeting before their wedlock, and Lucifer had been thrown off balance.

He could do professional.

He couldn’t do whatever… whatever this was.

“Well, we’ll be married soon.”

“Your Highness-”

“Diavolo.”

Lucifer stopped in his tracks. All he could do was stare at those big shiny eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Please call me by my name. I’d like to hear how perfect it sounds on your tongue,” Diavolo repeated.

Heat rose into Lucifer’s face and he hoped it didn’t show. Quickly, he turned away and started walking towards one end of the table. “In any case, you’ve had a long trip. Why don’t-”

No sooner had Lucifer sat than Diavolo swooped in to scoot a chair closer to him. This man really didn’t have any sense of personal space did he? This was unfamiliar territory. Lucifer expected him to sit on the opposite end, allowing him to keep some distance between them. That’s how people were to stay. At a nice, respectable distance to be observed and to exchange pleasantries, but no closer. Diavolo was a stranger, yet he refused to act like one.

“I want to know everything about you,” Diavolo sounded as if he was marvelling at a being from another word. It was an unsettling feeling, “You’re favorite music, what you like to do in your free time, everything about you.”

Lucifer scooted away ever so slightly. Diavolo followed. 

“Why would you care about any of that?” 

This was business.

“Because we’re getting married.”

That didn’t mean he had to know anything about Lucifer.

But Diavolo had a nice laugh. It was booming and made Lucifer’s lips twitch upward ever so slightly. Everything about him was warm. Warmth Lucifer had never known before. 

He tried to touch his face once more, Lucifer turned away. It was instinct. Lucifer wasn’t accustomed to being touched. 

“You act like no one’s ever acted like this with you before!”

“That’s because no one has,” his eye glanced toward Diavolo, “My family isn’t exactly touchy.”

More specifically his father. He didn’t like touchiness, he thought it would make them weak. Therefore, physical affection wasn’t common when their father was around, especially not with Lucifer. He was their crown prince. He needed to be strong and rule without anything in his way. 

Diavolo’s demeanor changed, his shoulders fell, his eyes widened, and his mouth fell.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not anything worth pitying. It happened and there’s nothing that can be done to change it,” he sighed, leaning back in his chair, “It’s what he thought best for the future of Arcadia.”

You threw a wrench in his plans.

And for that, well, Lucifer couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied. After pushing him and his siblings to follow certain path all of their lives, it was nice to see something not go as planned for a change. Lucifer wouldn’t be having heirs, and that was fine by him.  Any interruption counted as a victory for him, no matter how small. 

“I am sorry,” Diavol’s voice was more even and calmer than it had been before, “For how I have been behaving though. It must have been startling to you. Please forgive me.”

Lucifer turned his head back towards him and quirked his eyebrow.

“My own father was very affectionate when I was young, I suppose I just miss it, and I’d like to share that with you, if you’ll allow me.”

Lucifer thought for a moment, allowing silence to permeate in the room. If asked, he’d say he did it to make Diavolo sweat, but in reality he was genuinely thinking it over. “I suppose, perhaps with time.”

The way he beamed made Lucifer’s heart skip a beat, “Then let’s get to dinner and start to know each other a little better, shall we?”

***

Enjoying the evening had not been on Lucifer’s list of things to do, but he wouldn’t complain.

“You like dogs? I could get you a dog as a wedding present.”

Lucifer laughed, “Father wouldn’t allow it. He’s not fond of animals.”

“Well he can’t stop me from getting a present that you would like. “

This man defying his father? Heavens help them. Perhaps Lucifer liked him a little more than he thought. It wasn’t something he was used to. He’d never had a relationship like this before. This was the first time he felt like he’d had a genuine conversation with someone outside of his family. For once, Lucifer felt a little relaxed. 

Diavolo was genuinely interested in what Lucifer liked. He wrote down how Lucifer took his tea, wanted to listen to all of his favorite songs with him, and what he liked to do in his free time. He wanted to play chess with him and spend time with him in any way he could.

It made Lucifer’s feel warm and his chest lurch. He loved the smile that found its way onto his face and how Diavolo’s voice surrounded him. Perhaps he’d found a new favorite song.

He felt like he’d known Diavolo for ages.

He made it easier for Lucifer to breathe.

“Diavolo-”

Diavolo froze. His eyes went wide again, “You said my name.”

Lucifer didn’t get a chance to move before he was being lifted off the ground and spun in the air. Diavolo’s booming laugh surrounded them. 

“Oh you said my name! And it was perfect! More than perfect!” he lowered Lucifer only to bring him into a kiss. Now it was Lucifer’s turn to freeze. His face quickly turned red as his eyes flew open. He stiffened, and tried to bring himself back. He’d never been kissed before. A crown prince had to be careful when it came to his image, and he’d had more important things to focus on than starting romances that would lead to nowhere. He’d always known he’d be married off to someone else, so he didn’t really see a point in seeking out others for romance.

Lucifer never thought about what it would be like to be kissed.

He wasn’t exactly sure about what to think now. 

When Diavolo pulled away the terror seemed to set it. “Oh I’m sorry! I- I went too far-” 

As he mumbled, Lucifer felt himself come back. It was when he realized how nervous the other prince was.  He was energetic and was the opposite of Lucifer himself. Instead of going silent like Lucifer did, Diavolo seemed to ramble even more. With a chuckle and the shake of his head, Lucifer put his finger tips under Diavolo’s chin and brought his focus back to him. 

Lucifer wasn’t one to be won over so easily, but there was something about this man that made him think their union wouldn’t be a bad one. Perhaps he could make his life a little more interesting. 

If he could force his father into doing something that he didn’t want to do, like agreeing to the condition of Diavolo getting to marry his crown prince, Lucifer figured he would like him.

“I will have to kiss my husband eventually, you’re an awfully excitable man Diavolo. I think I quite enjoy that about you,” he smiled, before placing a gentler kiss onto his lips. 

If Diavolo wanted to play the role of adoring husband Lucifer wouldn’t stop him. Maybe marriage wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Perhaps he could rule Arcadia with another person effectively after all.

When they pulled away, Lucifer caressed his face, “I think I could see myself participating in acts of affection in private.”

He and Diavolo walked a little closer on the rest of their stroll, and he found himself leaning into his shoulder every now and again. 

Perhaps he could get used to this.

Perhaps he would lead Arcadia into a new age, and be an even better ruler with Diavolo at his side.

It would be a future to look forward to.

[laurensxox]

Fandom :: The Arcana

Pairing :: Julian Devorak x Reader (Not Apprentice)

Requested? :: no

Warning/s :: Julian's Route (Upright) and New Tale Spoilers, Named Apprentice, Female Reader, Chronic Illness, Swearing, Author is projecting their longing

Genre :: Angst

Summary :: Julian spends the night reminiscing over childhood memories and longing to go back to the past where he was in Nevivon again, playing as carefree as one can be with the one person he truly cared about other than his younger sister

Author's Note :: Stark, if you're reading this, I'm fighting you for this dramatic, self-sacrificing dumbdumb-

Song Inspiration :: Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars

Portia's Cottage :: Just After Sundown

A chuckle left the auburn haired man as he watches Pasha relay stories of their childhood to their friends, informing them of how they were raised by a group of grandmothers and how their parents actually perished from a shipwreck caused by a rather strong storm. Mazelinka quickly add in how much of a troublemaker the two of them has become as the years pass by, didn't even waste the chance to tell them about the tooth fairy situation which caused Julian to go beet red in mild embarassment. Their friends were in no need to know that story!

Shaking his head, he let a more genuine smile form on his face. As embarrassed as he is right now, he was happy to see everyone laughing jovially without the fear of Lucio's plans with the Devil weighing on their shoulders. A warm sensation forms in his chest as he tries to hold in his laughter as Pasha nearly slips on her feet with her excitement to share their history. It was nice to be able to just laugh and and thrive in the positive energy inside the cottage! Even Muriel, their very introverted friend, seems to be relaxed as he lets Allen (Apprentice) braid his hair using flower stems while Asra leans on his side.

Looking at the trio and sensing the strong forming bond between Pasha and the Countess, Julian couldn't help the small pang of longing swell somewhere within himself. He couldn't stop his mind from pushing forward memories he tried to bury and lock away.

"Ilya, help! I'm slipping!"

"Don't worry, I'll catch you!"

The longing pang quickly turned to pain as the memories rushes back to the surface. He could feel his hand start to tremble as the formerly locked away memories barrels it's way to the front of his mind. Jumbled memories of playing tag and tending to scraped knees should have made him feel fond but it makes feel nothing but longing. Longing for a time and companionship he knows he'll never be able to have again.

Taking a deep breath, he hadn't noticed that he had closed his eyes until he opened them. With him being occupied with trying to stir himself away from the path of self-loathing once again, he hadn't noticed how quiet the cottage had gotten, its other residents looking at him with concerned eyes. Not even the Familiars scattered in the room made a noise.

He forced a laugh to ease the sudden change of atmosphere in the cottage, hoping it sounded convincing enough to clear the concern away from his family and friends' eyes. While he has come to terms that it's okay to ask and receive help instead of keeping things to himself, he still struggles with it. And it was obvious with the way he tries to act like he was okay, that he wasn't just bombarded with memories he doesn't want to remember.

"What is with that look, my dear friends? I am perfectly well, no worries!" he exclaimed, giving them his usual smirk and raised eyebrow, internally hoping it'll be enough to convince them that there was nothing to be concerned about. "There is nothing in this world that this handsome and smart devil can't handle!" His little comment about himself seems to be the right thing to say as his friends immediately rolled their eyes in fond exasperation. Although, by the look of his sister and honorary grandmother, he guessed that they have seen right through him and he can already see his funeral-

He gave a small sigh and let a small weary look replace his earlier expression, "I'll just head outside to take in a quick breath of fresh air," he said as he quickly exited the cottage before his two family member could say anything. Knowing that they'll probably just follow right after him, he quickly made his way away from the cottage and into the hedge maze by the palace gardens. It took him a while to get to the center but he was relieved to see it empty. Consul Valerius has taken to drinking his usual wine there in this time so he was quite happy to see that for once, the Consul broke his routine. He needed to be alone right now.

Taking a seat in one of the chairs surrounding a rounded table, he crossed his arms on the table and used it to rest his head upon. Taking another deep breath to calm his racing heart, he closed his eyes.

Maybe he needs to stop locking away these memories, he has only done so before due to his need to focus on finding the cure for the plague and then having to focus to not get caught by the patrolling palace guards when he was still a wanted convict. The memories and the longing for his childhood best friend used to be a big distraction for him while he was still working under Valdemar.

He didn't need to do any of those anymore... So maybe...

The soft rapid footsteps echoed in the small forest near the town of Nevivon, followed by the childish giggling of two children. Both children wore a tattered white sheet of cloth, the corners wrapped around their necks in a way that resembles that of a cape. Whilst in their heads rests crudely made paper crowns.

Young Julian and his best friend, (Y/N), were already considered too old for these kind of games by some of the grandmas and fellow children but the two gave them no mind, choosing to continue living in their fantasy world until they were truly too old for it.

The two children stopped once they have reached the center of the forest where a small meadow hides in. It was decorated by dozens of wild flowers and the breeze were always refreshing. The two has deemed this as their spot when they had first found it years ago, back when they were much younger.

They call the meadow as their kingdom, where they are the rulers, side by side as King and Queen. The wild flowers are their loyal subjects and sometimes, when Pasha joins them, she acts as their ambassador.

Young Julian kneeled as they reach the very center that they always keep clean, it was their designated throne room. The young boy carefully plucked a blue hued flower from the ground, he didn't know what kind of flower it was but it was pretty, a perfect gift for his 'Queen'

As if mocking the reminiscing man, right across from him and innocently clinging to the hedge wall was the very same flower that he had picked back then. He didn't know if he wants to sneer at it or be fond of it. He wished he has a glass of Salty Bitters right now, maybe he should have headed to Rowdy Raven instead of here.

"Would you have approved of the man that I have become, (Y/N)?" he whispered as he stares at the flower, as if it would miraculously turn into his childhood friend and answer him. Maybe that was possible? Allen did transform him into Asra back then, would the illusion work on a plant as well? But then again, that will be all it'll ever be. Just an illusion.

The grandmas all exchanged fond gazes as they watch their resident troublemakers sing songs with all their heart, their love for the dramatic was very much obvious at that moment.

Little Portia was banging on pots like drums by the sidelines, sometimes singing some lines as well when prompted by either her older brother or the girl she was starting to see as her older sister.

He stood up from his place and started to make his way out of maze. He wasn't going to go back in the cottage nor was he in any hurry, he just felt too restless to stay sitted in one place. He has gotten used to always moving around with all his running from guards and fighting a Major Arcana. But before he went back to trying to find his way in the maze, he stopped in front of the flower that he has been staring at.

It was a small flower with 6 petals that looks blue and violet at the same time, the bud in the middle was light green in color and it was the only flower growing in the hedge. From what Julian remembers, these flowers grow in bundles. So to see one so alone, well, it didn't help the growing hole inside him.

Gently plucking the flower like he did so in his childhood, he observed the flower a little more before making his way back into maze, taking the small flower with him. Surely, the Countess would not mind him plucking such a small wild flower, now would she?

Julian looked up from his book as he felt something soft being places om his hair, looking up, he saw (Y/N) placing what looks to be a bunch of flowers weaved together in a circlet manner on top of his head. Something similar on her own head as well.

"What are you doing, peanut?" he asked the girl, gently closing his book and waiting for the other to finish adjusting the flowers. He had taken to calling her 'Peanut' after he had caught her trying to sneakily take the peanuts in the communal pantry. He didn't snitch to the grandmas, of course.

"Just adjusting your flower crown, bum-bum" she answered, making small more adjustments before appearing satisfied that the flower crown both looks good and will surely stay on her friend's head when they begin to trek their way home later.

The Doctor surprisingly got out pretty easy, definitely faster than when he was first trying to get to the heart of the maze. Looking down at the flower, he let a sad smile adorn his face.

"I suppose even after all these years, you're still my lucky charm, huh, (Y/N)?" he mumbled under his breath, giving the one of the petals a small kiss before continuing to walk.

He didn't really have a destination, the palace grounds was vast and there are still some areas of it that he hasn't been to. Maybe a little exploring wouldn't hurt? He hopes Pasha wouldn't get too worried if he takes too long to get back to her cottage, he does often find himself in troubling situations.

"You know what? I wouldn't even ask how you manage to be in this situation." (Y/N) said, crossing her arms as she narrows her eyes at the boy dangling before her.

Julian had, at that moment, managed to get himself tangled in the vines surrounding the branches of the tree. Truth be told, he was trying to climb the tree in order to get fresh fruits for his sister and best friend. But when he finally managed to get on a branch, a crow suddenly flew out of its nest and caused him to go off balance, fortunately being caught by the vines, no matter how tangled up he got.

He wouldn't tell her that though, lord knows she wouldn't let him live it down.

"Why, my dear peanut, I was just trying to see how strong these vines are and if they would make a good rope!" It was honestly a good excuse for him, but apprently not good enough for (Y/N) as she just raised her eyebrow at him, clearly not believing him.

After a good bit of exploring, he manages to find himself near the fountains where he saw the trio couple making their way back to the palace. Were they on their way home already? How long has he been outside? Shaking his head, he called for their attention and made his way to them.

"Going home already?" he asked, raising a brow as he observes the many colorful flowers adoring Muriel's hair. It was quite a new look on the tall man but it surprisingly suits him. Seeing his friend give him a narrowed look, he moved his gaze to the two magicians.

"Yeah, I'm feeling quite a bit tired already and Asra wanted to do a quick inventory of the stocks we have left in the shop" Allen explained, moving to lightly keep their wild green hair out of their sight. It was getting a little long, they might need a cut soon. "Though, we don't plan to stay there for the whole night, just a quick inventory and dinner then straight to Muri's where we'll sleep for tonight" the apprentice added, giving the taller doctor a smile.

"I see, I see! Well, don't let me hold you back for any longer, have a safe walk home!" he exclaimed, moving to walk further before he was stopped by a gentle grip on his wrist. Turning back, he saw that it was Allen who held him back. He could see the concern swirling in their green eyes but the smile never faltered away from their face. "Yes, dear?" he asked.

"You know you can talk to us if there's something bothering you, right? You don't have to if you're not comfortable but just remember that we're here, okay?" Moved by their words, Julian pulled them into a sideway hug and let out a genuine laugh. He was so lucky to have his friends. Sometimes he still thinks he doesn't deserve them but he knew to keep it to himself for now. He didn't fancy sitting through another lecture session about his self worth by his sister again.

"Aw, Allen, don't you worry about lil 'ol me! I'm quite alright now!" That was a lie, he was far from alright, but his friend doesn't need to know that. "I may talk to Pasha and Mazelinka about it so no need to worry that cute little head of yours" That seemed to settle the Apprentice as they pulled away from the hug and gave his arm one last pat before moving to stand between their partners.

"You should do that now before Portia wears a hole in her carpet with how much she's pacing when we left" Asra said before he and the other two gave the auburn haired man one last wave and left.

Deciding to do as his magician friend said, he started his way back to his sister's cottage. Earlier was such a good day, it wouldn't do to plague his sister with worries and sour up the light mood. He already did that earlier before he walked out, best not make it worse.

Looking up at the dark sky, he smiled as he admires the scattered stars. It was a beautiful night, the full moon was giving the world such a soft look and it made things seem so peaceful. It made him feel like he was back to laying in the meadow near Nevivon. Like he was laying next to... Next to...

He wasn't able to wipe away his tears before they begun to fall down his cheeks. A sob fought its way out of his throat as he falls to a crouch.

Fuck, he wants to go back. He really really wants to go back-

Julian observed the wide sky and the many stars on them, it was a beautiful night and the night breeze was cold and as he lays on the equally cool grass of the meadow, it soothes his heated skin. It made him sigh in contentment, what more could he want?

Looking at his left, he smiled as he sees his sleeping sister. The little girl had decided to join them that night in their nightly star gazing but it didn't take long before she fell asleep, not used to staying up later than her bedtime. He'll have to carry her home later on.

The sight on his right took his breath away. Blush rushed to his face as he seems to see his best friend in a completely different light.

There, laying beside him, was (Y/N). The moonlight was softly hitting her face, and it made her (eye color) so much more brighter like gems, like the stars that littered the dark sky above them. Her laugh as she continues to talk about the astrology that she learned from Mazelinka, sounds like soothing bells to his ears.

Since when has his peanut became this... pretty?

He longs to be in her arms again, he longs to hear her voice again. No doubt it would still sound like music to his ears. He wants to make flower crowns again, he wants to play king and queen again, he wants to stargaze with her again, he wants to sneakily steal cookies, hangout by the hot springs, pick flowers for the grandmas, share lessons with Lilinka, he wants to...

He really wants to see her again.

Julian sat on her bed by her side, his hand gently holding her weaker and much fragile one, her illness eating away her strength. Her ring finger still holds the flower ring he had made earlier that week, it was already wilting but the girl refuses to take it off.

"I made up my mind." he said, breaking the solemn silence in the room. It made the other look at him curiously, waiting for him to elaborate.

"I'll take the offer to study medicine in Prakra" he explained, finally looking at his best friend and secretly, the girl who has his heart in her gentle grip for he doesn't think his bestfriend could ever be harsh, other than when she's twisting his ear for getting in trouble without her

But he can't, he knew he can't. She probably hates him, gotten word of his 'crimes' and no longer sees him as her best friend. But as a murderer, a plague doctor who assisted his superior on experimenting to dying plague victims in search of the cure.

She probably already has a family of her own now, has 3 children like she once said she wanted. Probably has a nice spouse that always makes her laugh and will never hurt her. A spouse that doesn't have their sins still haunting them in every step and breath they take.

"You're leaving me?" the pain in her voice was clear, she was hurt at the thought. They had planned to wait for her to be cured before they decide to go out of their hometown to travel, to study medicine like they always dreamed of.

"Not for long, I know we planned to study together but..." He took a deep breath, "I'm doing this for you, (Y/N), I want to study now for you"

Silence filled the room once again.

Julian clutched up at his coat, the place right over his heart where it hurts the most. He had completely fallen to his knees, tears continues to drip down to the ground from his eyes, his other hand gripping the ground.

Whispered apologies leaving his mouth over and over again.

"Promise me you'll come back? That you won't forget about me?"

Julian stared at his love's dull but hopeful (eye color) orbs, hisbhand momentarily leaving hers to gently caress her cheek.

"I'm so sorry... (Y/N), I'm so sorry..."

"I promise"

"I broke our promise... I'm so sorry, my love..."

[...]

Meanwhile, in the same meadow of Julian's memories, sits a much grown up version of the girl in his memories. Body trembling as sobs come right after one another, clutching a bundle of those same blue wildflowers to her chest. Her eyes tightly shut as tears falls to the ground of her childhood. The girl looked up, staring at the same moon that Julian was previously admiring.

"Where are you, Ilya? I thought you'll come back... You promised... You promised..."

Anyone interested in a reunion sequel? 👀

My apologies if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes, I just woke up when I finished this lol

Anyways, I hope you all liked this! Let me know what you think, don't be shy! 💙

[cryptidax]

Fallen Aliases

-DISCLAIMER: This is my first attempt in angst so please remember that as you read!!

-Word Count: around 1,605 words

-The reader here is, once again, NOT the traveler. They are a high-ranking member of the Liyue Qixing and have a personality based on Xingqiu and Rosaria but share the same hunger for battle as Tartaglia. They also use a polearm as a weapon and have a vision. :)

NAMES, such a common thing, yet it holds such significance to even the immortals. Cursing one's name might result in you breathing your last; Praising someone else's title might flatter them; Falling for another's alias might result in your end. The people of Teyvat hold names in such high regard, yet. Why, why did you love someone when you didn't even know their name?

Ah yes. The truth is as clear as day now. It was because you were blind. As the elders would call it, You were a fool in love. Despite that, why do you hold all the memories with him in such a fond manner? The day when you met can still be remembered as clear as the water in the ponds of Qingce Village.

The feeling of your polearm in your hand and your vision hanging from your belt is something that exhilarated you. Especially now, with several new foes for you to beat in front of you.

"This is much more interesting than doing boring paperwork, don't you think?"

From an outsider's perspective, seeing a Qixing member speaking to some Ruin machinations in the middle of the night would make them think they are going crazy. After all, all the Qixing members are dignified and elegant people who have enough ambition and power to uphold the will of Rex Lapis despite being mortal. People who are as clear and transparent of their ways just like Morax. (Y/N) is the hidden spear of the Qixing, a weapon with dangerous potential yet remains covered to the public. One minute they could be speaking in front of the Milileth about their new plans for defense; next, they could be slicing down several Ruin hunters by the coast of Liyue and laughing as if they are playing with toys while doing so.

"It's a shame such ancient machinations must be shut down.. oh well, Night Night little robots.~"

Using their elemental burst to enhance their weapon, (Y/N) swings it in a clockwise motion to finish the ruin hunters and watch as they fall only to disintegrate into blue dust. Hearing the ruffling of the bushes beside them, they ready their weapon once again and turn around to meet a new foe.

"Whoever you are, come out now, and I might be merciful tonight."

Anticipating a new fight, the Qixing member was let down as they see an orange mop of hair instead of a beast or machination to face.

"Well, you are disappointing." (Y/N) bluntly said as they stared down the newcomer. The (h/c)-haired person observed the hydro vision hanging framed in a Sneznayan designed border from the blue-eyed stranger and readied their vision for combat once again.

"I never knew the Liyue Qixing were so hospitable to others." the newcomer stated in a playfully sarcastic manner. "Anyways, You can call me Childe, (Y/-"

Cutting him off as he was about to say their name, (Y/N) hostility asked many questions towards Childe, Each question containing less friendliness as the last. The Sneznayan answered all these questions without fail, yet (Y/N) never let down their guard.

"Master Childe!!"

The duo turns to the noise to see a female fatui member loudly calling out for superior while forcefully making her way through several large faunas.

"Well, that's my call to go Mx. Bigshot. See you next time!"

Childe childishly says as he quickly goes towards the fatui member. You could hear him loudly playfully shouting back at her by repeating her name. Shaking their head in a joking manner, the (h/c)-nette heads their way back to the office, dreading the paperwork they have to write as a report of what they had done for the night.

This schedule goes on every night for several weeks. (Y/N) goes to clear out monsters, Childe appears out of nowhere and helps out with destroying them, talks a bit, says goodbyes, and repeats the next night. (Y/N) has tried to stop him, but he keeps insisting to the point where he would keep his arms around them unless they allow him to stay.

A blind man could see how in love they were, from the way they looked at each other when they slay monsters in the night, to the way each would hold each other's gaze for more than one would consider professional.

They were in love.

The elders called it beautiful. Singles held jealous looks to their relationship yet congratulated them nonetheless. Children fawned to their parents on how they wanted to grow up to have what they had. The two held hope that despite who they are, what they do for a living. They hoped that they at least can have this one thing that can share.

But oh, What fools were they to believe that two mortals can forever ignore reality.

The day started so pure as if the archons all agreed to give humanity one good day, A pair of lovers waking up to gaze at each other lovingly as they murmured random and insignificant news to each other sweetly. To others, this may be unimportant considering how much influence these two people have over their respective nations, but these two moments like these mean the world to them. Sadly, they must head up and attend to their duties. Giving a goodbye kiss to each other, both get ready for their work before going out to each work locations. If (Y/N) bothered to look back to awhile longer when they gave each other a goodbye, they would see underlying melancholy in the eyes of their lover. Maybe that would have been the key to keeping their relationship.

It truly is sad how relationships take so long to build up. Yet be shattered in just the snap of one's fingers.

Hearing the closing of the front door, (Y/N) looks up to see the tired and beaten form of their lover bandaged up. It honestly broke their heart to go and comfort him, But what needs to be done is more important. Not only for them but for their co-workers who care for them, and for the citizens of Liyue who were affected by the awakening of the ancient sea god.

"Childe."

His name. A name that flowed out of their mouth with a tone sweet as honey. Now felt like they were eating sandpaper as they said it.

Looking up to see the blank yet hurt look from his lover, Childe, the eleventh fatui harbinger, felt something that he has not gotten for several years from someone that does not share his blood. Guilt.

"(Y/N) I can explai-"

"Save it."

Giving a sad smile to the fatui in front of them, they blankly say how they know how he caused the disaster. Each word seems to be like another arrow being shot towards the Sneznayan as his lover said it in such a way that it was impossible not to question his actions. Maybe this would've been more bearable if his lover was angry and was rapidly throwing insults, but they said it in an accepting way. Like they anticipated that this would happen, and that. That somehow made him feel more hurt than if the latter happened.

"Childe, or should I call you Tartaglia,"

People say that second chances are the cultivators of a better relationship,

"I believed we could've made this work in a way that we can pretend we are not two opposing people."

They say that hardships like these would blossom into a memory that they could recount with a nostalgic smile.

"I promised that we would get through this together,"

But love is a battlefield and in the relationship of (Y/N), the sword of the qixing, and Childe, a warrior of Sneznaya. That statement quite too literal.

"Ha... I apologize, but that promise is one I cannot keep, not after that disaster you have summoned..."

There are no second chances in battle,

"I loved you, but now... I see that I do not even know who you are."

For once you swing your weapon,

"Goodbye Childe, For our sake, I hope we never see each other again."

You have no chance to take it back.

Hiding their tears as they walk out of their old abode, never looking back in fear that they will not stand firm in their decision. (Y/N)'s heart cracks each step they take, mind plagued by scenarios of what else they could've done. Walking turns to jogging and jogging to running, the Qixing member rushes to their new residence, an apartment in Liyue Harbor, and opens then shuts the door quickly. They slump down on the floor, wanting to cry. Time seems to stop as (Y/N) reaches up to touch their face.

"Why can't I cry?"

It seems like the archons won't even give them the comfort of tears.

Seeing the fading silhouette of his ex-lover as they walk away, Childe solemnly walks to their, now only his, room and opens his drawer to get out a small velvet box. With a sad look and teary eyes, he opens the box to reveal a beautiful Varunada Lazurite ring. A ring that he hoped would've been placed on the finger of who he loves. The young lord holds the item close to his chest and quietly whispers through choked sobs,

"But I love you (Y/N).."

After so many years, the eleventh harbinger, an instrument of war, the big brother of several siblings, the annoying co-worker of the harbingers. Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax... Cries. At this moment, all the sides of one man weep.

Fate must be satisfied. They just punished a catalyst of death, A being who gets excitement from a battle, a person that should be victim to the full wrath of the archons. No matter how good a person acts, blood will forever stain their hands. By this law, Childe, Tartaglia, Ajax is a wicked being. He is an evil man... right?