#i didn't even touch the potential relationship w dabi/touya bc that's a whole topic in itself.

[pruinesce-a]

@spaika​ said  :  is there anything fuyumi considers unforgivable, wrt her family & particularly enji, or does she continually see the good in people no matter what ? would she not want to part with any family member simply because that is too painful to look back on what could have been (as a conscious choice opposed to things they have no control over) because of her caring nature ? ALSO THE WHOLE blood family vs chosen family; does she feel obligated or tied to all her family members for this same reason essentially having been their mother

jj CONTINUOUSLY giving me the good food.... i have so many thoughts on this and it’s probably gonna be LONG so alright folks let’s DIVE IN

the shorter answer is honestly??  i think a lot of this depends on timing and the fact that this is HER family. like if enji had done any of the things he did when she was a kid NOW, it’d be a different story. and if she saw any of those things happening to someone ELSE, she’d be HORRIFIED.

yes, she would absolutely struggle to part with him for what he did. yes, fuyumi DOES have a tendency to see the good in people, no matter what. it’s both a strength and a fault in her personality, how her empathy can extend so far. and i think forgiveness is integral in the kind of healing that fuyumi needs. but it’s really, really complex. so now we can delve into why, and how those things are gonna change !

i think fuyumi has a very, very complicated relationship with forgiveness, especially in regards to enji. my first instinct is to say no, there rlly isn’t anything fuyumi believes is “unforgiveable”, seeing as the whole family seems to agree that enji is at least somewhat responsible for touya’s DEATH, and obviously everything else he’s fucking done, i really don’t. think it gets much worse than that.

but there’s a lot to consider here !!

it’s also important to consider the cultural aspect of family in japan, and that the todorokis are clearly a very traditional family. i think a lot of people forget about this when they talk about why fuyumi is so desperate for everyone to get along ! family loyalty is so important in japanese society. it’s the family’s needs ahead of the individual. the family is an entity in itself. so it’s not just as simple as removing enji from the picture in the kind of household she was raised in. the family being happiness means everyone, you know ?

and enji is the patriarch of the family. he’s the head. he’s literally the most important part of it all. SO OF COURSE SHE CAN’T JUST.... U KNOW. NOT TRY TO INCLUDE HIM WHILE TRYING TO FIX THE FAMILY. YOU KNOW ???

i think people also forget how young the todosibs were when all this happened. when natsuo and fuyumi visit rei in the hospital, we’re told it’s been at least 10 years since rei was hospitalized   -   although that’s not entirely clear if that’s exactly what they’re referring to   -   so that means that when rei left, shouto was 6, natsuo was 9, and fuyumi was 13, roughly, and then shortly after that, touya died. so for further context: shouto would be in kindergarten, natsuo in third grade, and fuyumi would’ve been in seventh. 

THAT’S A LOT FOR KIDS TO HANDLE. fuyumi, as the oldest & also as the only girl, absolutely had to step up and be the emotional rock of the family. that meant that no matter what she felt, she had to stomach those feelings and be there for her brothers and honestly probably for enji, too, based on this panel: 

i think a large part of the reason fuyumi, AND rei too honestly, is able to forgive enji is because they’ve been privy to a side of enji that shouto, natsuo, & touya didn’t see. i think the two of them can remember a time when enji WAS gentler, when he wasn’t so consumed with his need to surpass all might. he never trained her, either, and i honestly don’t think he could even bring himself to look at her most of the time after rei left because of her resemblance to rei, and i think especially in the recent years they’ve spent a lot of time together because she speaks so familiarly with him ?? and I MEAN..... shouto said it himself that endeavor the hero is amazing. but that enji as a person isn’t. ANYWAYS WHAT I’M SAYING WITH THIS is that she’s got a very skewed perception of her father, and a great way to understand the way she’s thought about enji for most of her life is with this quote:

SO, IN ORDER TO COPE, FOR YEARS FUYUMI HAD A THOUGHT PROCESS VERY SIMILAR TO THIS. “this isn’t the real him”, “he’s actually a good person, deep down”, “he’s not actually like this”, etc. etc. and it wasn’t until she was older that she started to see how wrong that was.

because, contrary to much of the fandom’s belief,  fuyumi DOES actually resent her father for what he did, to an extent. she canonically says:

fuyumi is angry with him. make no mistake. she hasn’t actually forgiven him, and honestly? i really don’t know if she ever fully can. 

but being angry is tiring for her. she probably honestly feels guilty for it because she kind of wishes she could be like her brothers? but unlike them, fuyumi’s been stuck in that house with him for years and she’s clearly close to him, too. she knows what he’s done is wrong and she’s NOT sweeping it under the rug and she’s NOT covering for enji, but she’s desperate to be happy. she’s desperate for her family to be happy. 

both shouto & natsuo are now out of the house and in better environments, but she’s still there, and she’s pretty much dealing with it alone, and right now it’s really hard for fuyumi to do anything BUT try to put things back together now that she has the chance. right now, she’s really just.... forcing herself into forgiving him for the sake of the family, and not necessarily because she thinks he deserves it yet.

 so i think fuyumi does forgive enji despite what he did because of a combination of all the things, but it should only be after she’s done her healing, and when she’s ready.

onto the second half: right now, her blood family definitely comes first. but it doesn’t stay that way.

I SAY IT ALL THE TIME, KENTA COMES INTO THE PICTURE AND SHAKES UP HER WHOLE WORLD, YADA YADA, but i REALLY love that u asked about blood vs chosen family because it’s actually a struggle she faces. kenta’s father went missing for four years, and there’s a lot of complications surrounding his rescue, it’s the first time she really directly goes against enji, it’s the real beginning of her growth and detachment from the warped concept of family that she has and all kinds of other good stuff, but fuyumi & kenta actually briefly fight about whether or not he should return with his father once the two of them were released from tartarus. it was a wild ride. BUT ANYWAY fuyumi couldn’t understand why he would sacrifice the chance to be back with his only family, when for years & years all she’s wanted is to fix hers. and she’s faced with the idea that... it is okay for her to do things for herself. to do things that make her happy. not to be so self-sacrificial. and that idea is slowly starting to take root.

i say all the time that fuyumi’s gonna move out to aomori, to the country, and have a stable, happy life with kenta, surrounded by all her kids. she’ll see a therapist, her PTSD and other issues will be treated, she’ll be really, truly happy and healing, and most importantly, fuyumi realizes that enji does not have to be welcomed into that life. 

and for the most part, he isn’t. i think fuyumi would still visit him every now and then, but he would be very distant from the life she’s built for herself.