#i didn't even learn you could double up on math classes until i saw someone get an award for doing so all four years in highschool

[elaeomyxa]

The college admissions can't see me here so I'm safe.

Anyways if your high school offered more than 10 AP courses I'm going to eat you

[heavenlycloud]

the veil~ ღཾཿ༉ ༘჻ღཾཿ჻

three: the face of a cold blooded killer ‧₊˚ ⋅ ༘☆*.ﾟ

warnings: swearing

pairing: huh yunjin x aespa 5th member! fem reader

summary: IT HAPPENS...yunjin and y/n have their long awaited movie date that's not a date that is a date that isn't. yunjin realizes something about y/n and y/n learns something she didn't know before. they realize they're alike in more ways than one. and of course, both girls being useless gays. keep your eyes open for the small details i don't mean my typos and run on sentences

author notes: i tried to make this update a little lengthy because i'm not sure how much i'll be able to write this upcoming week (i'm nearing finals). my taglist is still open for those of you all who want to be added in, just comment or drop an ask in my inbox! lastly, feedback, comments, reblogs, questions, literally anything but hateful speech is welcome and very much appreciated!

̟ ̇ ˖ಎ˚˖࿔ masterlist 𓂅୨⊹ ₊˚๑

you flopped onto your bed and let out an relieved exhale that your day had finally come to a close. with a comeback only days away, you and your members had been finishing work around 2 AM just to get back up around 5 AM. however, for the next three days, work days were finishing early so that you didn’t look tired when the showcase and other activities began. you opened your text messages for the first time since this afternoon, just to see your friends blowing up your notifications. 

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

you set your phone aside and opened your laptop to log into the streaming service website that was connected to your Veil app. it took a few tries before you correctly put in your password and found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. you checked the time again and saw it change to 9:00 PM. not even a second late, your laptop chimed and you saw the video call icon lighting up indicating that your match was calling you. the excitement you had was replaced with anxiety as your finger hovered over the answer button. not wishing to miss the call you answered and immediately your camera turned off and the voice filter was activated. 

there was a beat of absolute silence on both ends of the call until you both burst into laughter at the awkwardness. despite the voice filter and the girl’s blurred camera, you could see her silhouette double over before flipping her long hair over her shoulder when she sat back up once her laughter subsided. she was the first to speak, the smile evident in her voice, “hi jasmine.” you shyly replied, “hi lyra.” silence fell over the two of you once again before you blurted out, “i’m sorry this is so fucking weird!” the girl nodded in agreement and said, “this reminds me of like high school on the zoom calls when you had to ask a teacher a question after class, y’know?”

you let out another laugh and added on, “wait did you ever fall asleep during class on accident or something and you woke up and it was just you and the teacher?” yunjin snorted and said, “not me but one of my friends did and i knew because we would text each other during the class. so when the class ended i kept asking questions to the teacher so i had a reason to stay on the zoom call. but i was also calling my friend’s phone at the same time.”  you admitted between laughs, “you’re better than me because i would have left the call so quickly.” the girl laughed even harder then said slowly, clearly distracted by typing on her laptop, “let me just log into the streaming service-” 

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

yunjin hummed to herself as she made her way through the different movie titles that were on her watchlist until she found the one she needed. you both went to press play and just then someone else entered her room and loudly whined, “unnie!!!! i need help with my math homework.” yunjin motioned to her laptop that was very clearly on with you on the other side of the video call as a polite, “now’s not a good time” reminder. eunchae pouted and explained, “i know you’re on a date right now but i don’t know how to do this and it’s due tomorrow. also everyone else told me to ask you since you got into university.” yunjin felt her breath hitch when the maknae said ‘date’ but she tried to brush it off, hoping that if she pretended she didn’t hear it then maybe you didn’t either you totally did. 

eunchae held up the worksheet that she was assigned which had three unanswered math problems on it. yunjin pushed her glasses further up her nose and skimmed them over, not recognizing what any of the instructions were asking. she sighed and said, “i haven’t taken a math class in like 5 years.” eunchae stared back at the paper and tried to make the instructions sound easy, “i only need help on the last one. all you have to do is find an equation of the line tangent to the graph of f at x equals 1.” yunjin looked over the last math problem then said simply, “um…the limit does not exist.” you failed to hold in your laugh at the movie quote while eunchae was far less amused, “unnie, you can’t just quote that lindsay lohan movie at me and expect me to accept that.” yunjin was genuinely stuck because she didn’t remember a damn thing from her calculus class she took in junior year of high school. the american brought her hands to her head and raked her hands through her long black hair, “well i- i don’t know.” eunchae pleaded desperately, “unnie please, anything you remember.” 

you watched the entire conversation unfold before you and honestly you could feel for both parties. when you were in high school, your family was no help when it came to the assignments that troubled you. even now minji came to you for homework help and sometimes you didn’t know the answers when she really needed them. finally you decided to just see if they’d let you help, “hey i know this might be out of place but i might be able to help.” both girls responded in unison almost immediately, “yes please.” there was a smile on your face as you instructed, “yeah sure just send me a picture of the problem. when you looked over the function you felt a slight burst of excitement at the realization that you knew exactly how to solve the solution. 

you grabbed the journal and pen off of your nightstand and spoke as you began working through the problem, “looking at the function, you’ll note that f(1) equals (7/4)e which means the tangent line passed through the point x equals 1 and y equals (7/4)e. also you’ll see that f isn’t raised to a variable power which means the ordinary rules of differentiation do apply. and because this problems is so algebraically complicated, you’re gonna want to apply the natural logarithm first so that differentiation will be easier. now apply the natural logarithm to both sides of the equation and use the algebraic properties of logarithms then tell me what you get.”

on the other end of the call, eunchae was frantically writing away while yunjin peered over her shoulder trying to understand what you were talking about. the younger girl read off her answers and you approved, “right. so now differentiate both sides of this equation, and note that both sides need the chain rule.” once again you waited for eunchae to read her answer and when she did you praised, “perfect so now i want you to differentiate it and read me the answer again.” this time when she read the answer you paused, “mmm look at the last part of the equation one more time. watch the signs.” a smile spread across your face when you heard the younger girl correct herself, “oh it’s plus 2 over 3-x.”

you hummed in agreement and said, “okay now multiply both sides of this equation by f(x). eunchae murmured aloud as she wrote more down and you prompted once more, “now the slope of the line tangent to the graph of f at x equals 1 is?” eunchae read her answer off, and asked, “(7/4)e (53/7- ln5) .so does that mean the equation of the line tangent to that is y-(7/4)e= (7/4)e (53/7- ln5)(x-1) ?” you beamed, “yeah that it! good job, that was a really complicated one honestly.” the younger girl tried to give you credit which you quickly told her, “i might have helped but you did all the hard work on your own.” yunjin stared at the smile eunchae had on her face, one that she hadn’t seen all night because of this exact homework assignment. 

the younger member hugged yunjin for the night and exclaimed, “unnie, your date is so cool!” yunjin blushed at the comment and you felt a small raise in your heart rate at this being the second time you’d been referenced as the girl’s date. before yunjin could try to play it off, eunchae leaned over her member and waved to the camera, “thank you unnie! Byeeee!” you laughed and said, “bye bye.” eunchae skipped out of yunjin’s room with her journal tucked under her arm before closing the door behind herself. 

yunjin apologized, “i’m sorry about that i didn’t think she was gonna come in my room.” you laughed and waved it off, “it’s no big deal really, my little sister does the same thing to me.” yunjin asked curiously, “you have a little sister?” you hummed in confirmation, “yeah she’s 19 right now.” yunjin gasped in genuine surprise, “no way- me too! that’s so crazy.” you agreed and then she asked, “wait- how are you so good at math?” honestly you didn’t know how to answer her so you just shrugged, “i don’t know i’ve always been better at science and math instead of history and languages i guess? like with math and science everything has an explained answer for the most part, and finding the answer is pretty standard. so nothing is really up to individual interpretation, it just is what it is and it’s pretty much the same for everyone.” yunjin leaned on her fist and teased you, “how poetic.” you sucked your teeth and rolled your eyes, “oh hush.”

although you knew time was slowly slipping, you wanted to bring it up while it was still relevant, “she said you got into university?” the american leaned back against her headboard and explained to you, “i didn’t think you’d catch that…but yeah i was supposed to start university in the fall after graduation. then i got a call from my company saying they wanted me to be a trainee for a girl group, and i had to come to korea immediately.” she waited for the typical reply of disapproval she got when she explained the past situation to people. it always led to her explaining far more than she wanted to about herself. however, she was surprised when you asked genuinely, “did you know what you were going to study?” yunjin laughed a bit to herself as she answered, “business.” before you could answer yunjin asked you, mostly as a way to learn more about you, “did you take the college entrance exam?” she was partially expecting you to say you didn’t bother because that’s how most idols ended up. 

she was pleasantly surprised when you admitted, “i finished my second year in university before i had to drop out.” she let out a gasp and whispered, “no way- jasmine-” you laughed and rubbed the back of your neck, “yeah…i was exactly half finished. i managed to balance school and being an idol pretty well but then work picked up faster than i thought it would so school went on the back burner."

yunjin was even more intrigued so she asked, “what did you study?” you answered simply, “gerontology and neuroscience.” there was a beat of silence before yunjin whispered, “what is germontology?” her cheeks grew pink when you laughed a bit before telling her, “gerontology. and it’s basically studying old people problems and neuroscience is brain science. i planned to study parkinson’s or alzheimer's disease.” you paused and realized the weight of the topic so you jokingly added on, “and now i get paid to wear high school uniforms and bark for fans.” yunjin snorted and tilted her head back as she laughed at your unexpected comment. 

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

yunjin and you managed to get through the first movie without problems and most of the second one. however, right as there were thirty minutes left you started to fall asleep and yunjin could tell clear as day. you fought to keep your eyes open as you watched the scene play out on your laptop but yawning every few seconds made things all the more difficult. the american asked you quietly, “jas, are you falling asleep on me?” you refused and sleepily insisted, “no, ’m awake.” only for you to begin dozing off a minute later, soft soft snores falling past your lips as your breaths grew deeper and slowed down. she made a mental note of the timestamp so she could rewatch the part with you another time. yunjin knew that you had been working hard on top of it being well after 1 AM so she didn’t mind at all. the fist that you weren’t leaning on was wrapped around your other wrist with your grip slowly loosening as you slept. suddenly, your hand fell onto your keyboard and you accidentally turned your camera on. yunjin’s breath caught in her chest as she stared at her screen, paying no mind to the ending scene of the movie. she panicked and frantically ended the call with her hand over her mouth, holding back a shout since all of her members were also asleep. she sat and stared straight ahead before letting out a breath,

 “oh my god-”

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚✭・彡♡・✫.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

bonus: tweets from yunjin and y/n +their moots (ft eunchae and her friends)

♡‧₊˚˘͈ᵕ˘͈‎ 彡♡ ༘*.ﾟ .·:¨༺ ʚ♡ɞ༻¨*:·.﹢࿐ ☆

taglist: @https-f4iryjin @awkwardtoafault @seungspolaroid

[browneyedmissy]

JV: Childhood Part II

Summary: Her brother was off at college. She had to take care of her siblings. When her schoolwork struggles as a result, she made a friend who only made things more complicated.

Part one here

Author's Note: I actually had this written up already and was supposed to be part of the first half but I somehow wrote too much and Tumblr wouldn't let me post it all at once.

High school took a sharp turn for her.

Without Avi, Jackie was taking care of her siblings more while her parents were at work. She would walk directly from her school when the bell rang to her siblings' schools and then make them a snack when they got home. She was able to start her homework a bit before dinner and she would work some more afterwards to keep up.

There were days where she found herself deeply envious of her classmates. Most of them were involved in clubs after school and sometimes she longed for the normalcy. But that feeling was squelched when she got to school and saw her siblings run up to her with bright eyes and full of love.

She found a deep level of interest in biology and was able to keep up until her junior year when the workload she had in addition to her responsibilities at home began to take a toll on her.

When her parents came home and she wanted to mention something to them about taking less responsibility, she stopped when she saw the weariness in their eyes. She had watched what it was like for them as Indian immigrants who spoke perfect English but with a heavy accent to live in the United States. Sometimes while they were out, the people they interacted would not understand them and she would see her mother hesitate just a fraction of a second and before her mother could turn to her, Jackie would step up.

They had tried for years to open up the store they had back up but after all of the costs, even their combined salary had made it hard to save for what they needed to start it up again.

"We're lucky we have you, beta." Her mother had said with a murmur, smoothing the top of her head.

She would nod and feel the burning of guilt she had of being a normal high school student.

Her grades started slipping and when she saw the C on her math examination, she felt her cheeks burn especially when she noticed that her classmates on either side of her had gotten a B+ and an A-. She suddenly felt like she was an imposter, masquerading as a smart person and that someone was going to come in and kick her out of class at any moment.

"How did you learn how to do those word problems?" Jackie asked the classmate on the left. What was her name again?

"My mom has been helping me. I didn't get them at first and I know most of our classmates have tutors. I can help you after school, if you'd like." She said with a smile.

"I have to take care of my siblings." Jackie said with a grimace.

"Dev and Anika, right? My mom's one of the teachers in the elementary school and Dev was one of her students last year."

She blinked at the girl. How did she know that when this was the first time Jackie had talked to her? "Uhh yeah, I…"

"You don't know my name, do you?" The girl quirked an eyebrow at her. "We've been in classes together since freshman year."

Jackie had the decency to feel embarrassed as she shook her head.

"Alexa Chan." She laughed good naturedly and stuck out her hand. Jackie shook it.

"Jackie Varma."

Alexa gave her a grin. "I know. How about I come home with you and we can work on the homework together?"

-

Her siblings adored Alexa.

The first thing she did when she met them at the school was bend at the knees a little so that she could look them straight in the eye when she shook their hand. Dev's eyes had widened a little and he puffed up his chest as if he was full grown. When Ani asked if she was coming over, Alexa had nodded, telling her that she needed to tell her mom first.

Their eyes had been wide as saucers when they figured out who her mom was.

They had gone to school the next day to tell everyone who would listen that Mrs. Chan's daughter was friends with their sister and she was over at their house.

Her parents liked her as well. She was extended a dinner invitation often and her parents were happy she had found a friend who was smart and capable.

Alexa started coming over twice a week when she didn't have swim practice to help Jackie with math. In return, Jackie helped her memorize her science flashcards.

Alexa wanted to be an engineer, Jackie learned. She was good at math because her mother had taught her how to understand it since she was a kid and she liked looking for patterns. She was an only child so she liked being around her mother's students and around her siblings.

And she was so pretty. Jackie couldn't help but notice her soft her hair looked and how kind and genuine her smile was. Sometimes at night, she had dreams where they were walking down the street, holding hands and no one did a double take when she leaned over and pressed a kiss on Alexa's lips.

She shook her head. Alexa was the only friend she had made in years and she couldn't jeopardize it over a crush.

It wasn't as if she hadn't had crushes before. But she kept her feelings close to her chest, especially when she realized that she might like girls as well. Or prefer girls. The sexuality thing freaked her out because the last thing she needed was for people to stare at her for being Indian and gay.

"Hey, do you want to come watch me swim on Friday? I'm going to be swimming with the varsity team." Alexa said excitedly.

"Yeah, Avi just came home so I can ask him to watch my siblings."

"Ooh yay!" Alexa gave Jackie a hug and pulled back with a horrified expression. "Sorry, I don't think I've ever hugged you before."

Jackie felt her cheeks burning. "We're good."

-

"Avi, I need you to watch Dev and Anika after school on Friday." Jackie said as she got home that day, her two siblings in tow. "My friend is competing in a swim meet."

Avi raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. "You have a friend, behan?"

"Haha." She rolled her eyes. Her brother stared at her before his face broke into a grin.

"You look happy, Jaks." He observed. "Is this friend actually a friend or do you have a paramour, little sister?"

"My friend's name is Alexa." She said, avoiding the subject.

He didn't skip a beat. "She can be your paramour too."

Jackie blinked as she looked at her brother whose face had become very serious.

"I-" She glanced at their siblings who were out of earshot coloring at the table. "I might like her Avi. But she's also the first friend I've made in a long time."

"If you're willing to let her in, then it might be worth exploring."

-

Jackie took a seat in the bleachers, a book perched on her lap and sunglasses on. She could see the girls warming up on the other side of the pool and Alexa grinned and waved when she saw her. She said something to her teammates and walked over her direction and Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You came! I'm so excited, Coach says I might have a chance at winning first for the butterfly heat." Alexa said brightly. "I'm up against one of the best swimmers, but I've been training hard."

"Good luck." Jackie offered a smile. Alexa offered one in return before heading back to her team.

The swim meet began and Jackie watched as people swam back and forth in the pool. Her eyes were trained to follow Alexa when she swam, the graceful arch of her legs as she jumped off the block and the way her arms moved through the water effortlessly.

Finally, it was time for the event that Alexa was most excited about. As she stepped up to the block, Jackie felt her heart pounding.

"You got this Alexa!" She shouted. Alexa looked up in surprise and smiled back before getting refocused on the pool.

Her opponent pulled ahead of her the first two laps but Jackie noticed she wasn't keeping up the quick pace. Alexa on the other hand had paced herself and was closing ranks. The last lap they were swimming in tandem and as they reached the wall, Alexa pulled slightly ahead and-

"The winner of the heat is Alexa Chan, by 0.02 seconds!"

"Yes!" Jackie shouted in triumph. She ignored the glances she got from the people around her as she ran over to Alexa who threw her arms out for a hug, her eyes bright.

And as Alexa threw her arms around her, without thinking, Jackie pressed her lips against hers. They were soft and she smelled a little like chlorine as she moved her hands to tangle into Alexa's hair-

Jackie didn't notice the stares until she pulled away from Alexa who had a surprised but pleased look on her face. She pulled back and glanced around as people turned and whispered and suddenly, she felt like she was back in 5th grade, introducing herself to her classmates as Jackie Varma.

"Jackie-"

Without giving her a chance to say anything else Jackie turned and fled.

-

She threw herself into her bedroom, rushing past Avi as she reached home. She ignored him calling her name and she threw herself into her bed facedown.

There was a knock on the door.

"Go away."

"Jaks, your friend Alexa called my phone and wants to speak to you."

"I'm not here."

There was a moment of hesitation before Avi said something Jackie couldn't quite make out.

"Okay, I told her you would call later. Can I come in now?"

"Fine." She said muffled into her pillows.

Her brother opened the door.

"What happened?" He asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Nothing you would understand."

"Behan, I think I of all people would understand."

"No, you won't! You don't live at home anymore, Ani! You don't know what I'm going through and it's easy when you don't have to be around people who know and judge you anymore!"

A terse silence passed. "Do you hate me for leaving? I had to. You'll understand one day. I don't know what you're going through with your friend Alexa, but-"

"I don't want to talk about it! I'm already stared at because we're Indian and I kept my head down through that. I want people to stop staring at me and why can't I just be normal?"

Her voice broke on a sob. Avi sighed and walked over to put a hand on her head.

"Jackie…"

"Don't touch me!" Jackie jumped back and glared at her brother. "Just leave! You're going back to school soon anyways, just- go."

-

She kept her head down for the next few days. Avi had gone back to school and things were sort of back to normal. Alexa had tried to talk to her during class, find her at lunch and after school but Jackie had just stayed silent, staring at the board until Alexa had given up.

Jackie sighed. She missed her best friend but already there were rumors going around the school. They were nosy and Jackie wanted them out of her face.

"You've been avoiding me." Jackie had opened the door to see Alexa standing in front later that day. "Can we talk?"

"Shouldn't you be at swim practice?"

"So you can try to avoid me again? I knew you were keeping track of my schedule. I skipped it. I figured this was kinda important."

"Alexa!" Dev said excitedly when he heard her voice. He moved past Jackie to grab her hand and pull her into the kitchen. "I made a drawing of you and sissy."

Her mouth twitched as she saw the colored drawing. She held it up and Jackie saw two girls, holding hands. Jackie felt her chest tighten.

"Why are they holding hands, Dev?" Jackie choked out.

"They're best friends and they love each other." He said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"I-"

"Dev, can you take Ani to the backyard for a bit so your sister and I can talk?" Alexa said softly. "Thank you for the drawing."

He nodded and took Ani outside. When the door closed, she turned back to Jackie.

"Alexa, when I kissed you…" Jackie stammered.

"I wasn't expecting it." Alexa interrupted with a smile. "But I didn't not like it. But you just ran off before I could say anything."

Jackie stared at the girl in front of her.

"I do like you." Alexa said with a shrug. "I don't know what my sexuality is. Still figuring that out. But I do know that you're smart and pretty and my best friend. And I liked kissing you."

"People saw me kiss you." Jackie's face paled.

"Let them talk."

"How are you so casual about this?" Jackie said weakly. "People are going to stare at us. It'll be just like when I was in 5th grade-"

"Jackie. People are going to talk and stare no matter what. We're different from them. Not just because of that kiss but because we're not white."

Jackie felt nausea coming back up. "I can't have people stare. I won't have it. I can't be seen with you."

Her friend blinked and gave her a sad look.

"Okay. I'm not going to fight you on this, Jackie. I know you better than to try that. I'll keep my distance. But… let me know if you need anything."

As Alexa closed the door, Jackie could feel her heart shattering.

-

Her grades dipped again afterwards. Alexa had been a huge help with her siblings and it was hard to concentrate, especially in math when she still sat next to her.

She started feeling angry. She was angry that she was in charge of her siblings in the first place which led her to meeting Alexa.

She was angry at herself for being a coward and not being able to take people staring at her.

"Jackie, I want to talk to you." Her science teacher stopped her one day after class. Jackie dropped her bag on the ground with a huff. "Is everything okay? Your grades are dropping in my class."

"Yup. Fine. Can I go now?"

"Jackie."

"I don't know what you want me to say Ms. Torres. I have to take care of my siblings after school because the program only lasts until 3:30 for them. My parents can't afford to put them anywhere so I have to help out. So why should I give a damn?” Jackie said angrily. “I can't do anything about it, my siblings need me. And people stare at me because I'm different but I can't do anything about it!"

“You’ve been dealt a crappy hand.” Her teacher said with a critical eye before gesturing at a desk in front of her. Jackie gave a huff before sitting down at the desk and crossing her arms. “It sucks that what you want and what your parents want for you is not the same because that puts you at a disadvantage especially against all of your classmates whose parents can do things like afford tutors and know how to get their classmates into college.”

“It’s not fair.”

The words left her mouth before she could swallow them down to join resentment buried deep down in her heart.

“I know.”

Jackie uncrossed her arms, feeling herself deflate. All the anger that she felt mixed with the exhaustion and sadness that she had felt ever since she had realized how much the world hated her when she was nine and she was left just feeling tired.

“Neither of my parents went to college and they both worked full time jobs. And I was expected to take care of my siblings on top of going to school especially as I got older. I did well enough until I got to junior high and all of my classmates started doing things like going to camp and getting tutors to help them get ahead. All of a sudden, I was the Latina girl who was struggling to compete because they had all these advantages.”

"Exactly. If it's not fair, why should I try?"

Ms. Torres observed her quietly for a moment. "Your brother said the same thing."

"Avi?"

"He was one of my first students. He gave me trouble most of the year and then he and I talked just like you did. He told me that you were going to go do advanced classes in junior high and he felt like he missed out on his chance because he had to take care of you and your siblings."

"I didn't know."

"Because he cared about you and Dev and Anika more than anyone. And he got himself together when he realized he wanted to make sure you did more with your life."

Jackie brought her sleeve to her face and it came back wet.

-

"Behan?"

"Hey, Avi. I miss you. And I'm sorry."

He gave a chuckle over the phone. "I wish I had recorded that so I could play it back to you whenever I needed it."

"I kissed Alexa. I might be gay. I don't know. I don't want to label it right now."

"And you don't have to. You do not have to tell anyone, unless you want to, Jaks."

"I want to go to college." Her voice trembled. "I want to be a doctor. I love science and I'm good at it."

"You go do that then." He said firmly.

"Dev and Anika-"

"Will be fine. Mom and Dad will figure it out. You need to make sure you take care of you too."

"Okay. I love you, bhai."