#i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone

[iftitah]

.

[slaymitchabernathy]

Cold & Calculated

Soarynn POV

Soarynn's heels echo through the hall as she approaches the two glass doors that lead to her husband's office. Well, the floor that holds his office along with several other associates offices.

She's only been in this building one other time, back when they were dating and he brought her around to meet some of his colleagues. She had been so nervous to meet those men, those very important men who worked with Coriolanus.

But now she might have to deal with some of them alone, and that makes her nervous. Although she's almost always a little nervous around her husband.

At nineteen years old, Soarynn is a married woman to one of the most influential men in all of Panem.

Coriolanus Snow.

She remembers meeting him for the first time, how handsome he had looked sitting at that table, and how tall he was when he stood up to greet her and her father.

"He's a good man, honey," her father had whispered during the car ride to the restaurant, "he's important and can provide for you and your future children. I wouldn't agree to this if I didn't think he was a good fit."

Coriolanus was indeed a good man, stern but good, never laying a hand on her or raising his voice. He was a man of authority, always commanding the room wherever he went, commanding respect.

He always made sure she had what she needed, new clothes and shoes, a luxurious life, a fully staffed home. He was the dominant party no question, but Soarynn didn't long for a life as an impending and demanding wife.

She was quieter than most which seemed to mix well with Coriolanus and his more outgoing personality. She warmed up to him after a few dates, opened up a bit more but never fully, not the way she did when she was in the company of her close friends.

And Coriolanus seemed to prefer it that way, prefer a quiet wife who always listened and remained ever attentive to her husband's every need.

She didn't feel like he was too demanding. He most definitely was a man who craved physical intimacy. She found that out rather quickly on their wedding night. Before getting married they had only shared a handful of heated kisses and she had seen him shirtless a few times but that was it.

Sex was something that Soarynn had heard of but never experienced. A good Capitol girl waited until marriage and because Soarynn wasn't that outgoing during her years at the Academy, she was perfect in his eyes. Coriolanus had seemed more than pleased when finding out that piece of information and managed to give Soarynn enough sexual experience to last a lifetime.

At least he let her know when he wanted to have sex beforehand. Soarynn always appreciated a little heads up, especially since she was more flustered and fidgety when it came down to the idea of sex.

Soarynn wipes her palms on the fabric of her dress before pulling open one of the heavy glass doors, pushing her nerves down. Technically she shouldn't have to speak to anyone since she's supposed to go straight to his office, but as luck would have it she's already being approached by a Peacekeeper and what looks like a secretary.

"Mrs. Snow," they both greet her which still manages to catch Soarynn off guard. Being born into a prominent family is something she's always been familiar with, a lifestyle she's always known. But to marry a Snow garners a certain celebrity status.

Soarynn offers them both a small smile, "Hello, I'm looking for my husband's office." The Peacekeeper nods and gestures to one of the hallways, "Right this way Mrs. Snow." But the secretary who seems quite on edge while being in the presence of an important wife interjects before Soarynn can take a step, "Or would you like something to eat or drink? I also have warm towels for your hands if you'd like one."

Soarynn is entirely overwhelmed by all the offers she's been presented with and is beginning to wish that Coriolanus had just picked her up at home like he usually does.

"No thank you," she says to the secretary, "I think my husband would prefer for me to find him first." One good thing about marrying a man as respected as Coriolanus is that she can often throw him under the bus since no one would ever question his authority.

That seems to do the trick because a moment later Soarynn is following the Peacekeeper down the hallway, or the maze of hallways it seems. Thank goodness he offered to escort her, this place seems to be a maze of sorts and Soarynn probably would've lost her way.

Which wouldn't blow over well with Coriolanus. He appreciates promptness.

They stop in front of two large wooden doors and the Peacekeeper gives her a curt nod, "Please don't hesitate to find me again should you need any more assistance, Mrs. Snow." Soarynn doubts she'll need any help now that she's about to see Coriolanus, but she appreciates the gesture and gives him a genuine smile, "Thank you very much."

Soarynn watches him disappear around a corner before she finally knocks on the imposing doors. At home, she always knocks and she's not going to stop now. She takes a deep breath before knocking twice and waits for her husband's voice to answer her.

"Yes?"

Soarynn doesn't know what she feels so...nervous, probably because she's in an abnormal setting but she answers him nonetheless, "Coriolanus? It's me."

She waits for a beat before she hears his footsteps approaching the doors and suddenly she's face to face with her husband who's looking down at her with a smug look on his face, "I like that dress," he says.

Soarynn glances down at the dress she's picked out for tonight. It's red, rose red to be more specific and it offers a decent look at her cleavage but not too much to where it would be considered distasteful. There's also a rather large slit on the left side of the dress and the dress itself is held up by thick silk straps.

He likes it because he bought it for her a month ago.

Soarynn nods as she peers up at him, "You bought it for me." That seems to be the right answer because he hums before motioning her into his office, a room she barely remembers. His hand rests on her lower back as he guides her into the spacious room. His desk is directly across from the doors and to the right is a sitting area consisting of two armchairs and a sofa.

The right wall is made up entirely of a bookshelf where there are a few framed photographs lining the shelves along with all of the books. The left wall has two large windows that give her a lovely view of the Capitol skyline where she can see the sun is just beginning to set.

Soarynn swallows as she feels the constant pressure of his hand on her lower back but does her best to maintain her nerves. She's always felt a little nervous around Coriolanus, always. He's just so...reserved. He never lets his true emotions show, she's unable to read him after over a year of knowing him.

He's cold and calculated.

"I'm just about finished with my work," he tells her, pulling his hand away as he rounds his large mahogany desk. Soarynn folds her hands behind her back while standing across from Coriolanus, feeling rather put on the spot. Is this how his colleagues feel when they have meetings or discussions with him?

Soarynn nods, "Alright."

A small part of her wonders where to go, if she should stay standing or sit down but her questions are answered when the doors fly open revealing Festus Creed, a good friend of Coriolanus.

"I heard someone's wife came to visit," Festus drawls as he steps further into the room, not bothering to close the doors behind him. Soarynn offers him a polite smile as she hears Coriolanus scoff behind her, "Funny how you'll do anything to avoid working Festus."

Festus wisely ignores Coriolanus and his comments and strides towards Soarynn, giving her the complimentary kiss on the cheek before grinning at his good friend, "Anything is better than working, and besides, I can't possibly work with the promise of dinner right around the corner."

The dinner that Soarynn and Coriolanus will be attending tonight is being thrown by the company to show thanks to all of their loyal employees, Festus included. According to Coriolanus, it's being held at one of the most pristine restaurants in the Capitol with all expenses paid for.

Normally, he would pick Soarynn up from the penthouse and they would make their way to the restaurant from there, but the charity event she attended earlier this afternoon ran a bit later than they both expected so Coriolanus phoned her to let her know that they would take a different approach. So here she was, dressed to the nines and anxious to get this show on the road.

Soarynn, the ever diligent wife still remembers her manners though, despite her nerves and gives Festus a polite smile, “It’s lovely to see you again Festus.” He nods and gives her arm a friendly squeeze, “Likewise Soarynn. I should’ve had Persephone meet me here as well, at least you wouldn’t be bored to tears while waiting for your husband to finish up with his work.”

Persephone Creed is also Soarynn’s age and a good friend of hers. Both of them were raised to be married off to prominent Capitol men and it seems that they’ve succeeded in that.

“I don’t mind waiting,” Soarynn tells him, not wanting to upset Coriolanus or have him thinking his wife is impatient. And she truly doesn’t mind.

Festus waves her off, “Nonsense. Why don’t I give you a tour? I’m sure you could use another one since you haven’t been here in quite some time.”

Soarynn glances back at Coriolanus to see how he’d like to approach this proposal from Festus but she finds her husband looking down at paperwork, in a world of his own it seems. “What do you say Coryo?” Festus asks, walking up to the desk and drumming his fingers on the hard wooden surface.

Coriolanus finally glances up at the two of them and nods after a moment of deliberation, “Be back in half an hour,” he says, more to Festus than to Soarynn but she nods all the same.

Festus shoots her a toothy grin, “Prepare for the most informative tour you’ve ever experienced.”

꧁ ꧂

Festus Creed can talk a lot.

Soarynn found this out rather quickly the first time she met him when they had all gone out on a double date. Persephone is quite outgoing herself so the two make a good pair but Soarynn barely says a word as Festus leads her through the vast hallways and informs her of all the office gossip.

“That’s our bosses office, that’s the cafeteria down there, oh, and this is the break room. Do not touch Felix’s lunch or he will seek revenge,” Festus says, shuddering as if remembering that revenge.

Soarynn nods, “Noted.”

It’s interesting to see where her husband spends so much time, so many hours are spent in these halls. He rarely ever talks about work at home, wanting to keep the two things separate. Soarynn feels that there wouldn’t be much to relate to since she’s never worked a day in her life.

“And down here is my office, don’t mind the mess, a creative mind flourishes in clutter you know.” Soarynn peers into his office where she sees a bit more than “clutter.” Festus has his office in quite the messy state, she’s surprised he can still see the hardwood floor. “Ah, there’s Felix in the meeting room.”

Soarynn and Festus peer into the meeting room where she makes eye contact with Felix Ravenstill, another close from to Coriolanus. He offers her a small wave to which she returns before looking up at Festus, “Would you mind taking me back? I don’t want to keep Coriolanus waiting.”

Festus is more than kind to show her around the office, but Soarynn is desperate for a few moments of quiet in her husbands office. Today has been filled with mindless chatter and the next twenty minutes will be her only reprieve before she’s forced to socialize again.

Festus nods, “Of course! I know how nitpicky he can get about punctuality. You should’ve seen him when I almost missed the train for our hunting trip.”

Soarynn wasn’t there for the trip but she was there to hear all about it when Coriolanus returned four days later. He and his friends had gone to District Two for a hunting trip in which they could relax and enjoy one of the District’s resorts as well. He had gone about two months into their marriage and Soarynn found herself missing him more than she thought she would.

She certainly got an earful about what occurred on the trip once he got back home, mostly because he felt that no one took the hunting as seriously as he did. “I find my friends often acting as if they’re still students at the Academy instead of the future of Panem,” he had muttered while taking a sip of bourbon.

Twenty-five was still rather young for a man of his status but Coriolanus was extremely mature for his age and acted well beyond his years in Soarynn’s opinion.

Soarynn bobs her head up and down as they walk back to the office she so longs to relax in and gives Festus a polite farewell before stepping back inside and closing the doors behind her.

“How was the tour?”

Soarynn takes a deep breath before pushing all the air back out of her lungs and turning to face her husband who’s still seated behind his desk. He’s not even looking at her but she still pushes a smile to her face as she walks over to the sitting area, “It was wonderful. Festus makes a very good tour guide.”

Coriolanus chuckles and shakes his head, “He makes something, that’s for sure.”

Soarynn hums but can’t help but take a closer look at the framed photos that sit on the bookshelves. She sees one of the original Snow family, the attractive trio all smiling at the camera. Well, Mrs. Snow is smiling. Crassus and Coriolanus wear the same guarded expression they almost always wear.

While Soarynn had never met Coriolanus until that fateful night at the restaurant, she had certainly seen Crassus Snow before. As a friend of her father’s as well as a business partner, she was familiar with the infamous Crassus Xanthos Snow. He never smiled, rarely laughed, and was always serious. He’d come to dinner at their house every once in a while to discuss business but Soarynn always found herself fleeing the dining room after about an hour.

It’s not that he scared her or was mean to her. But Crassus Snow possesses a certain type of aura that makes people just a bit uncomfortable. And from what she’s seen, he prefers it that way. He’s worked hard to ensure that his family has remained on top.

Coriolanus had muttered that phrase one too many times for her to keep count. “Snow lands on top.”

The only time Soarynn has ever seen Crassus look even remotely happy has been in the presence of his wife. Mrs. Snow is a beautiful lady who is dripping in Capitol wealth, influence and taste. She might just be the fanciest lady Soarynn has ever met.

And she’s kind.

Soarynn didn’t expect to be welcomed wholeheartedly into the Snow family by Crassus, not by a long shot. But she was pleasantly surprised by how kind Mrs. Snow was to her. Insisting that Soarynn call her ‘mother’ once she and Coriolanus got married. It’s easy to see how much she and her husband love each other despite Crassus and his claims of marrying for power and stability.

He loves his wife, that much is clear. Which often leads Soarynn to wonder if maybe Coriolanus could feel the same way about her one day. From what Mrs. Snow has told her, it wasn’t always this way with her and Crassus.

“He absolutely despised me,” she had said to Soarynn one day while the two of them were having tea, “well, he tolerated me to put it in better words. I knew my duty as a wife would simply be to provide him children and keep him happy. But I’ve always been an optimist darling, and I just knew that he had love in his heart for me.”

When Soarynn had inquired about how he came to love his wife the day he does now, Mrs. Snow grew a dreamy smile on her face, “He simply woke up one day loving me and hasn’t stopped since.”

Well, it sounds easy when you put it like that. Soarynn doubts Coriolanus will just rise from his slumber one day absolutely in love with her. Both of them knew going into this marriage that it was strategic, bringing two great houses together. Simple as that. Neither of them have ever spoken of their love for one another and she can’t see them starting any time soon.

Soarynn walks further down the bookshelf and is surprised to find a picture of her and Coriolanus sitting in a golden frame. It’s a photo of them at their wedding. Despite their marriage being more business than pleasure, their wedding was beautiful. Soarynn spent a good while looking for the perfect dress and shoes and had a wonderful time shopping with her friends for their bridesmaid dresses.

Their wedding was the wedding of the season according to several news outlets that covered the ceremony and all the prominent Capitol families were in attendance.

The photo itself is beautiful with both of them standing under an archway of white roses. Mrs. Snow had worked tirelessly to ensure that the archway would be fully grown in time for their wedding and her hard work paid off immensely.

Soarynn is smiling at the camera, her head tilted towards Coriolanus while she holds her bouquet of white roses. Coriolanus has a small smile on his lips, looking quite pleased to be a married man. His arm is wrapped around her with his hand holding her waist.

They look like they could be in love.

Soarynn looks over at him and wonders if it’s in the cards for them to truly love one another. But he’s so busy with work and she’s always been so shy around him. And love doesn’t truly matter, not when she has to do her duty and provide him with children and keep him happy. Her personal wants and needs don’t matter.

Maybe in another life.

꧁ ꧂

“You looked surprised to see that I had a photo of us in my office.”

Soarynn barely registers the words as she looks up at her husband but she manages a somewhat intelligent answer, “Well most men don’t decorate their offices.” It’s true, her father certainly keeps his study as barren as possible. There are tons of photos of Soarynn throughout their townhouse, but his study is frugal. She’s been to his office at work enough times to conclude the same thing, barren and frugal.

Perhaps Coriolanus will add a photo of their children someday should they have any. It’s only been six months but Sejanus Plinth’s question has led Soarynn to think about children more than usual.

Soarynn and Coriolanus were subjects to several tests to ensure that they were both healthy and perfectly fertile. Having children meant securing your future and the Snows planned on having a grand future.

Coriolanus holds the door open for her as they reach the restaurant, “It’s nice to have something pretty to look at.” Soarynn’s heart skips a beat because that means he thinks she’s pretty. And she knows she’s not ugly and Coriolanus has complimented her physical appearance on numerous occasions but this one catches her completely off guard.

Coriolanus Snow is an extremely attractive man. His chiseled jaw and piercing blue eyes make for an attractive face. He runs a tight ship when it comes to his body, something Soarynn is all too familiar with since their wedding night.

She had been so nervous to lose her virginity. She always knew it would happen but she also knew that she wasn’t going to be his first. But he was hers and that was all that mattered in the eyes of society. But Coriolanus had been surprisingly gentle and patient. He talked her through it and went so slowly, making sure she was comfortable. Sex was a mind blowing experience for Soarynn and it helped that Coriolanus was extremely good at it.

She often finds herself longing for him during the way, for his lips and big hands…amongst other things. But he’s always been the one to initiate anything between the two of them and she wouldn’t want to bother him.

She still remembers how pleased he was when they finally finished and found the white bedsheets had a bit of blood on them, confirming that she hadn’t been lying about remaining pure for her husband. Soarynn knew some of her friends had thrown all caution to the wind when it came to waiting for marriage but she had a deep seeded fear that her future husband would tell everyone that she hadn’t waited for him.

Coriolanus had placed a kiss on her forehead and smirked, “Looks like you’re truly mine now my darling.” Those words had gone straight to her core in the moment and remained in her mind ever since. Because she longed to be his, truly and forever.

Soarynn doesn’t reply as she looks around the ornate restaurant that they’ll be having dinner in tonight. It’s lavish with gold fixtures and painted ceilings, with velvet rugs and hardwood floors.

“Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Snow,” the hostess greets them, “your private dining room is right this way.” Coriolanus presses his hand on the small of Soarynn’s back once again as they follow the hostess towards the back of the restaurant where Soarynn can already hear Festus Creed’s laugh.

“Please let me know if I can be of any service to you both,” the hostess says before leaving them to their dinner party. Soarynn puts on a kind smile as they enter the room and they’re greeted by friendly shouts and grumbles. There’s as many men as there are women tonight, all the men have brought their wives which means Soarynn won’t be bored to tears all night.

It seems that only refreshments have been served so far, small platters of fruits and tangy cocktails have been laid out on several tables and many important people mingle around them.

Coriolanus leans down and Soarynn feels a chill rush down her spine as his lips brush the shell of her ear, “Stay by my side tonight.” It’s a request as normal as any and yet Soarynn feels it go straight to her core. But she covers it well and leans into him, “Of course I will.”

Coriolanus seems pleased with her response and wraps his arm around her waist before leading them to the group of his colleagues and their wives, all who welcome them with smiles and the expected praises one gets when still being newly married.

As dinner progresses and everyone is finally seated at the long wooden table, Soarynn can’t help but glance around at the other couples. The older couples. Even if they aren’t much older by age they’re certainly more seasoned in the concept of marriage than she is. Soarynn being an only child to a widowed man wasn’t given much to go off of when it came to her relationship with Coriolanus.

He took the lead for the most part which was expected of him regardless of her upbringing, but she appreciated it all the same.

She appreciated how he always let her know of his plans ahead of time, and how he always seemed to remember her favorite dishes at each restaurant. He even managed to bring her home fresh vases of roses from his mother’s garden from time to time which was a miracle within itself considering how protective Mrs. Snow can be over her roses.

But it was still different from what Soarynn saw before her eyes. These couples were so…openly in love. They were leaning into one another, laughing and smiling as if they weren’t the Capitol elite. One glance at her husband made Soarynn wonder if he was even having a good time right now. She certainly was. The food was delicious and the drinks were flowing.

But Coriolanus still wore that guarded expression regardless of the fact that he was in the company of close friends and colleagues. Even when he was with her.

She can feel her mood slightly sour at that realization but she doesn’t let it show. Not now, not at dinner in front of all these important people. She can wait, put up a facade.

She can be just like Coriolanus.

Cold & Calculated.

| Part 2. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

[kenny-the-ken]

Don't Kiss and Tell

ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS!!! Warnings!!: strong language

Kyle hated Eric, that wasn't news to anyone in South Park, let alone you. Your older brother always was a bit of a dick towards him, and you always found it unfair. Eric's friends were always so lovely to you, and maybe it was because while yes, you were their best friends little sister, you were also the complete polar opposite from him.

Eric was loud, boisterous, rude, insensitive and quite frankly, kind of aggressive in his actions. But you were nothing like that, you were shy, reserved, kind and caring and most of all, not a complete racist.

Eric and you would come to blows quite a lot, and his friends loved it when it happened, because while you were quiet, you did have his temper, and two Cartman's arguing was quite a sight to behold.

But you knew Eric wouldn't take lightly to what was happening here, if he knew you were in Kyle's apartment with him, he'd explode, in fact you were pretty sure he'd try to reenact World War Two, with Kyle being the only victim. They were friends but also enemies, and that made this so much worse.

But you couldn't help it, although you were only nineteen and in your first year of college, the twenty four year old curly redhead who's arms were snaked round your waist as you cuddled beside him watching a movie on his couch, was all you could think about. Guys your age didn't understand, they were all fuck boys, only out for one thing.

Kyle was different. He'd always been kind to you, but when you turned eighteen and you started going clubbing with your brother and his friends, Kyle started to develop feelings, feelings that he knew were wrong, but the way you looked, the way you moved, the little touches you'd leave lingering on his arms, god he was smitten.

Kyle pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his long fingers running through your soft h/c hair, a contented sigh leaning your mouth as you leaned against his light touches.

"I'm really glad you could come over." Kyle's words broke the silence, and you turned your head a little to gaze at him, a small smile on your face.

"Me too. I really missed you. It's just hard... you know what Eric's like." You spoke, and Kyle nodded, placing a small peck on your cheek.

"Let's not worry about him, baby. Let's just enjoy each other in the little time we have." Kyle whispered, and you felt your cheeks flush, earning a small laugh from Kyle.

You had been together for around four months, not that you got to see each other much, between college and work, and trying to escape the suffocating grasp of your control freak brother, it was hard to navigate, but you both made it work, and it made little moments like this together all the more special.

"I love you." You spoke, and Kyle's face lit up, a wide smile on his face. He responded the same way every time you told him you loved him.

"I love you too, darling. I had a little idea in mind for tonight's date, if you wanna hear it?" Kyle replied,a cheeky grin on his face.

"Okay sure, what have you got planned, hunny?" You asked, leaning your head back so you were laying on Kyle's chest, your body between his legs.

"I was gonna drive us to central Colorado, take you on a nice fancy date, somewhere we can be seen together, hold hands, kiss under the street lamps where no one will see us. Well, so Eric won't see us." Kyle spoke, his voice hushed, gazing down at your face, pressing a kiss to your lips.

"That sounds amazing! But won't it be expensive? I don't want you having to waste your money on me!" You spoke, and Kyle shook his head.

"Baby, if we have a lovely date that we'll never forget, then it couldn't possibly be a waste of money, in fact, I'd see it as an investment." Kyle grinned, and you smiled back at him, before shifting to sit up, stretching your arms before getting off the couch.

"I better go get changed then! Which means I'll have to escape the house without Eric seeing me all dressed up." You said, chewing on your bottoms lip, your eyebrows knitted together with worry.

"Already thought of that. I bought you that dress you showed me a few weeks back, and the shoes to go with it, so you can get ready here." Kyle replied, and your face lit up, moving back over to him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips once more.

"You really do think of everything, you're so smart." You cooed, making Kyle's ego grow slightly, as he stood himself, his arms finding their way round your waist.

"Plus, it's an excuse for me to see you all dressed up just for me." He smirked, as you both stood still, your mouths meeting each other for a few quick kisses.

"I'm gonna go get ready, okay?" You whispered, and Kyle huffed a little. "One last kiss?" He begged, puppy dog eyes making you melt, placing another kiss on his lips before walking into his bedroom, and gasping at the dress he bought you, it was the exact one you'd shown him a while ago, and it fit your body like a glove, your feet slipping into the pair of heels Kyle had bought for you, and lifting the little handbag that matched perfectly.

And Kyle's eyes nearly popped from their sockets when you emerged from the bedroom, his mouth agape, and you swore you seen him drooling. "Holy fuck, you're hot." He spoke mindlessly, making you giggle and blush at his statement.

"Thank you, baby." You replied, as you embraced each other, Kyle's hand cupping your cheek, staring deeply into your eyes. "I am the luckiest guy on planet earth to be able to call you mine, y/n. I would fight your brother for you!" He announced, making you chuckle.

"You two would fight each other just because! Don't even lie!" And Kyle laughed, a grin on his face. "Yeah, I suppose that's true, babe." And just as you were ready to leave, your phone started ringing, it was Eric.

You answered his call, your finger coming up to your mouth to let Kyle know to be quiet. "Hey bro, what's up?" You spoke, before an onslaught of shouting kicked off on the end of the line, startling you.

And Kyle took your phone from your hand, pressing the screen to put it on speaker.

"HOW COULD YOU DATE THAT JEW! Of all the people in the world! You chose KYLE! You're a traitor! A fuckin' traitor and I'm telling mom!" Eric shouted, and your eyes rolled, Kyle couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"HEY! I'll have you know that this Jew loved fucking your sister earlier, how's that fat boy?" He retaliated, and suddenly they had both gone from respectable twenty five year old to literal children, throwing stupid insults at each other.

"Eric, I'm an adult now, you can't just tell mom that you don't like who I'm dating! What's she gonna do? Ground me? I'm nineteen, Eric! And who cares what religion Kyle is! He treats me well, that's all that should matter, right?" You shouted back, a pause coming from the other end of the line, before hearing a loud sigh coming from your brother.

"Kyle, I'm gonna find you, and I'm gonna beat your ass catholic!" Eric shouted, before hanging up the phone angrily.

You pulled your boyfriend into a tight hug, his head resting on your chest, and you peppered gentle kisses on the top of his head, your hand running through his his thick, curls.

"C'mon darling, I promise Eric won't do anything. Let's go on our date and have a nice night like we'd planned." You reasoned, and Kyle nodded meekly, looking like the colour had drained slightly from his face, and upon noticing his anxiousness, you cupped his lightly freckles face within your hands, your thumb brushing over his pale pink lips, standing on your top toes to give him a quick kiss.

"Don't listen to Eric, by the time our dates over he'll have found something else to get pissed off at, so please don't worry." You soothed him, his gaze fully focussed on you.

"I'm just... I don't want to lose you. I know your brother thinks it's wrong, but I love you, I always have, I just... I'm scared, that's all. Your brother is revenge crazy, I don't want anyone to get hurt." Kyle spoke, his gaze averted to the ground, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Kyle, no one is gonna get hurt, my mom won't allow it, okay? Eric can be hard work, but I'll talk him round, I always do." You spoke, meaning every word behind what you'd said. Kyle had changed you as a person, and he understood you on a level that no one else ever had. He truly was the most amazing guy you'd ever met.

"Now let's go on our date, and now you can take me wherever you want, because we're not a secret anymore." And Kyle nodded shyly, his slender fingers intertwining with yours, and he pressed a quick kiss to your lips, before moving to open the door, holding it open for you.

"Ladies first, my love." And as you exited his apartment, you felt as though this was the first date you'd both been on, those familiar butterflies swirling in your stomach, as Kyle unlocked his car, opening the passenger door for you to hop in.

Even if your brother did try to overshadow things, and tell you what to do, there was no way you could ever pry yourself away from Kyle, you were in too deep, and you liked it. You liked him, in fact you loved him, and that was what mattered most.

[sijetaismoi]

Fanfiction Masterlist

I figured posting a list of what I've written so far wouldn't hurt anyone.

Just so you know, my hubby has had a very soft spot for Nathan Fillion since Firefly. He is and always will be the Captain to him. So when we realized there was a show with him on Netflix, we started watching The Rookie. We binge-watched the first five seasons in a few months and by the time we finished season 5, season 6 was almost airing. I waited until then to read my first Chenford fanfic ever because I didn't want to be spoiled. And then I fell into the rabbit hole. I hadn't written anything for 5 years at least. And now Lucy and Tim live in my head.

Anyway. Here we go. I'm going to order them by publication date first, then in chronological order regarding the timeline and/or the "series" they belong to.

~ By publication date (from most recent) ~

Don't fear the Reaper

A-C-H (Anyone Can Happen)

In every universe

A redo

Drawing rainbows and making cherry earrings

I heard you

Cohabitation

The Groupie and her Bodyguard

Heatwave

Dangerous games

Creating new memories

Soothing Aloe

Another wedding with you

What's in a name?

Thank the nanoparticles

I have feelings for you

Practice makes perfect

New ink

Meet the Chens

Smitty, Matchmaker Extraordinaire

Two men, beers and a talk

Here for you

Chenford shipper

Something's changed about you

7 stages

Spousal privilege

Nineteen days

Without a word

Lucy's personal box of personal things

Little things

What if you say no?

Can I have this dance?

~ Following the timeline ~

Season 7

Don't fear the Reaper (speculation)

A-C-H (Anyone Can Happen)

A redo (speculation)

Season 6

Drawing rainbows and making cherry earrings (post 6x10)

The Groupie and their Bodyguard (post 6x10)

Dangerous games (post 6x10)

Creating new memories (post 6x10)

Soothing Aloe (post 6x10)

Thank the nanoparticles (post 6x10)

New ink (post 6x10)

Another wedding with you

Heatwave (post 6x10)

I heard you (post 6x10)

Cohabitation (post 6x10)

Smitty, Matchmaker Extraordinaire (post 6x10)

Two men, beers and a talk (post 6x09)

Here for you (post 6x08, spec for 6x09)

7 stages (post 6x07)

Spousal privilege (post 6x06)

Can I have this dance? (6x02)

Season 5

Practice makes perfect (post 5x12)

Chenford shipper (post 5x01)

Season 4

Something's changed about you (4x18)

Season 3

I have feelings for you (post 3x09)

Nineteen days (post 3x08)

Somewhere in a post-break-up era or an alternate universe where they didn't break-up (written before the break-up)

What's in a name?

Meet the Chens

Without a word

Lucy's personal box of personal things

Little things

What if you say no?

Alternate universe

In every universe

~ By series ~

Summer of Small Doses

Drawing rainbows and making cherry earrings

I heard you

Cohabiation

The Groupie and her Bodyguard

Heatwave

Dangerous games

Creating new memories

Soothing aloe

Thank the nanoparticles

Also, if you'd like to prompt me, please do! I don't promise I'll write it, but I'll try if it is something I'm comfortable with.

[ofyoonas]

☆ welcome to infinite entertainment! it's BAE YOONAH (YOONA), who is the MAIN VOCALIST of BRAVEHEART. i’ve heard whispers that the 26 year old is pretty ADAPTABLE but lowkey SCEPTICAL. also, doesn’t she remind you of JEON SOMIN?

Yeah, I know, it's Esme again. Truth to be told, I've been working on this darling for about a year and I can't believe she's now a reality. Yoona is my onion, as my good sis Donkey would say, and you don't get to see her true self unless you earn that right. So don't get discouraged if she's not the most open of my muses. Despite that, she's very friendly and likes to be around people, so give her a try. As always, you can message me on @offleurs to plot with her!!

Childhood

Born during a snowstorm, Yoonah was always meant to bring chaos into the world. Her mother was barely nineteen when Yoona came into the world screaming her lungs out, all on their own as the father ran as soon as he knew about the pregnancy.

Her mother did what she could to give her a good life, finding any job that gave her enough to pay for a small one-bedroom apartment and keep food on their table. It was never enough, and Yoona learned from a very young age that life was very difficult for those who couldn't afford it.

Her mother dated plenty of men, looking for acceptance and a family for Yoona. But they were mostly men who only wanted to take advantage of a single mother and were pretty much always mean to Yoona.

So Yoona grew up hating men, thinking they were really just a mistake of nature. Men never brought anything good into her life, and she was always relieved when she found her mother crying because she had been dumped once again.

Despite that, her mother was still very loving and wanted Yoona to have everything she didn't - a good life, and a good education, so she wasn't allowed to date anyone and she couldn't befriend boys. Which, really, Yoonah was more than happy to accept that because they weren't worth her time.

By the time she went to high school, tired of the life they had, knew she had to do something to help her mother.

In reality, being an idol wasn't something she wanted to do. In fact, she thought that maybe a modeling job would be good enough. It was then we scouted by Vibe Productions, because of her pretty face and how nice she would look in a girl group. Her singing voice was a surprise, one that needed a lot of work because she had no training, but it could be great if she actually tried.

Training Years

It was funny how she went to a house where she barely had anything to a dorm where she had to share every single thing and yet there was always food in her belly and a warm bed to sleep in. It was crazy how she could take a hot shower every day and stop taking those cold but quick showers at home just to save water and gas. It was a whole new world for her and she wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

So she kept to herself and minded her business, worked hard, and trained. She wanted to debut and finally make some money so she could take her mother out of that place and give her a better life. After so many sacrifices, her mother deserved peace.

It was difficult, though, when the company made sure all the girls fought for their place in the next group, practically encouraging them to step on each other or move the other out of the way no matter the way just to earn it. It could have been easy to do it, she was competitive enough and had reasons to try and be better than others, but Yoona didn't fall for it. She did her best to stay at the top without hurting others in the process. That didn't make her immune, she went through a lot and others did hurt her, and yet she managed to rise above.

Still, it was a surprise when she was selected to be part of a group with other three girls. She didn't mind, she could adapt and work with them, as long as they could make it. But she was terrified - there were so many things that could go wrong. Every day she went to practice hoping they wouldn't be told that their debut wouldn't happen, that when it did happen, Yoona wondered if this was what she truly wanted.

Debut

Sharing everything with other three girls was a challenge, not wanting to step on anyone's fingers but also trying her best to work hard and make sure Braveheart did well. She hadn't expected to feel comfortable around them, even if they all were so different. Yoonah didn't want to be the leader, she didn't want to be the spoiled maknae or anything at all. Being on the stage was fun, she got to see the world in a different light, and that was enough for her.

She really didn't have a role in the group, she felt. She went out there and did her job, but other than that, she was more than happy to be away. After all, she wanted to stay out of trouble so there was no reason to kick her out of the group.

So it took her a while to open up to her members, but when she did, they became her world.

Merge

Just another company, right? They still got to be on the stage and got paid, so what was the issue? Infinite couldn't be worse or better than Vibe, at least she supposed. As long as Braveheart was still together and could make music, Yoona didn't mind much. It was difficult to see so many familiar faces and have to see them around as much now, when she was used to Vibe and being just a few artists around. But still, she made new friends, allowed herself to relax, and maybe being around others wasn't so bad.

And maybe, as she realized how big the group was and that she was irreplaceable, then maybe she began living life and enjoying the fact she had the freedom to spend her own money as she pleased, to have fun, to go out and meet others. Men were good between the sheets at night, but the morning came and so she walked out the door before she could be stopped.

Tour

She got to travel and be on the stage with her girls, she didn't need much. She explored every city, had fun, did many things at night and forgot the next day. Met people in a city and left them behind, because that was life, and getting attached sounded like too much job.

Yoonah is a free spirit, she doesn't really need to overthink or feel when she can just enjoy life as it goes. Whilst it was really long, she still managed to survive without any major scandal or having the managers lose all their hair trying to control her ways.

Present

Life is boring, she accepts. Traveling was fun, if anything very tiring, but at least she didn't feel the need to run because they were moving every two weeks and she didn't have to worry about what she left behind.

Now she's forced to stay in one place, dealing with the consequences of her actions and having to be more careful with what she does.

Her wanderlust asks her to run away and never come back, she has enough money to make it and she can make sure her mother has everything she needs in her absence. But she's attached to the other Braveheart girls and can't do that to them. Oh, but she considers it every day.

Random Facts

Even if she's closed off with her thoughts and feelings, you don't have to get close enough to her to be her friend.

She has two sides - the one she gives everyone; funny, daring, reckless. And the real one; a girl that never got to be a child, so she can be quite childish and silly when she feels comfortable with the person.

She's perceived as the silly member of Braveheart - she's a sore loser and still always loses lmao. She also always says the wrong thing at the worst possible moment, she has just terrible timing to speak.

[natalieleenorment]

Something didn't dawn on me while I watched Buffy and I've decided to form something of my own version of the nine harsh realities for one of my stories.

I decided to go with the Harmonizer story for now, because I want to get something out of the way.

9. The possibility of an immortal being paired with Regina Lordwell as a teenager would've been possible as long as she was eighteen or nineteen years old. But I didn't think about that, because I wasn't sure how long before Regina got a girlfriend or boyfriend.

8. The Shadowhound Gang would've treated Regina with respect and humility and understanding to her personal problems. Unlike the Scooby Gang, it would've taken less than a chapter for Regina's friends to realize that she was in pain. I mean, her best friend Aria Dreyfus would've consoled her whenever she had a problem during a mission. And there are times when the Harmonizer will get her period and her powers will leave her for a temporary time, making her defenseless against danger. Her friends will do their best to protect their best friend while they fight enemies.

7. Mental health would have been one of the most important topics when it comes to all the members of Shadowhound, Shadow Eyes and Shadow Storm Walkers. In fact, there's a group for counseling for anyone willing to get help for their problems. In some cases, Regina and Aria meet up with a certain counselor in order to keep tight on their relationship with each other, in order to make sure nothing gets in the way of their love life with each other.

6. I can tell you one thing: some of the characters would have gotten their feelings reciprocated, while other characters would've had to force themselves to move on. Being a half faerie hybrid with complications, Sunny Talbot would have had to deal with one of her stalkers who couldn't handle being rejected by her. Regina would've dealt with her lovelorn feelings for someone who just happens to be one of her childhood friends, moving on from him after dealing with heartbreak as a teenager, even though she ends up with her daughter Wendy Lane being born, resulting in the Harmonizer becoming a teenage mother.

5. Every single character would've been held responsible for their actions, especially Takayuki 'Yuki' Sanai who carries a grudge against Shadowhound before he falls for Regina.

4. Ethan Lane is pretty much a crossover between John Constantine, Harry Dresden and Atticus O'Sullivan in the professions he chose as a teenager. But unlike Angel from Buffy, he wouldn't have been a dull character from the get go. Due to unfortunate circumstances that leads him into becoming a teenage parent to Wendy Lane, Ethan would make the choice of becoming a father to his daughter while he dated someone else. However, his love for Regina would not have died, even if he started dating Baba Yaga priestess Olga Petrova and got married to her, resulting in having a kid together.

3. Bernadette Lordwell would not have left her daughter's side even if they lived far away from each other, because it's part of the important rules made specifically for the Lordwell family who are born as Harmonizers. The Thirteen Lordwell Commandments shares knowledge that you should never give up on family, even if it means accepting the impossible. Bernie makes it clear to Regina that if she died, then she would come back from the dead as a spirit to help both her only daughter and her friends.

2. While Giancarlo Salavtoire, one of Regina Lordwell's future husbands and a Shadow Demon, would've started as an antagonist, he would break away from being the villain because of his love for Regina Lordwell. He would eventually enter a relationship with her for a short period, until he either meets his end or goes far away. But the story can change.

1. If things were truly chaotic between Regina Lordwell and her lovers, she would have broken away from them because she decided to focus on herself. However, since her love interests don't treat her like she's beneath them, Regina would have stayed with them.

[fezwearingjellybananas]

Flash tv prompt: Don is in love. Unfortunately, he's in love with Eobard's daughter. Meloni is nothing like her father, but Barry can't stand the thought of his son dating the daughter of the man who murdered his mother. Barry and Don fight, and then they don't speak to each other for years. Then the timeline goes to crap and Don and Meloni have to fix it while keeping their identities a secret from their fathers.

"You could ask him for help."

Don turned sharply to see Cisco standing there. He gripped Mel's hand tight.

"The Flash," Cisco said, pointing around the corner to where the younger version of Don's father was with his Uncle Wally and Frost. "He would help."

"No, he wouldn't," Don said. "He hates me."

"You came back in time for a reason," Cisco said. "Was it not to ask him for help? Your sister did already."

"You..."

"Oh, please," Cisco laughed. "You think I wouldn't notice someone messing with time? Who else's kid could you possibly be? And you look like your mother."

"I'm not-"

"Relax, you're not in trouble. I get it. Meeting your parents before you're born is possibly dangerous and might be weird. But you're Barry and Iris' kid. Another one. And you are..."

"My girlfriend," Don said. He pulled Meloni slightly behind him.

"Congratulations, kiddo. Have we met? I'm Cisco."

"I don't know if we should tell you our names," Meloni said.

"Smart, I like you," Cisco said. "You're not planning on telling me what brings you to this time either, are you?"

"No," Don said. "See you around, Uncle Cisco."

His hand tightened around Meloni's and flecks of her red lightning bled into his yellow.

Cisco's eyes glazed over.

"Tell me Eobard didn't send you," he demanded.

"Meloni isn't her father," Don snapped. "You're all the same, you won't-"

"Don," Meloni said. Cisco looked upset and he stepped back.

"Don," Cisco said. "I know it's dangerous, but please tell me what's going on."

"I'm not going to risk time by-"

Cisco opened a breach and grabbed something.

"Don't tell the Legends I borrowed this," he said, and handed Don a black stick. "Probably stole because I'm not going to remember to give it back. It erases memories. You can tell me everything and then I'll forget."

"But you're Vibe," Don said.

"I have too many visions to think they'll all happen," Cisco said. "And they've only just started to come back, I haven't told anyone other than Kamilla yet. Talk to me, Don."

"There's something wrong with Time," Don said. "We're just trying to fix it."

"Your father can help you."

"He wouldn't. We fought and I left and then it changed and he died and I didn't go to his funeral and Dawn and Nora hate me too and maybe they're right and if I'd been there I could have stopped it, but he wouldn't have wanted me there. And I saw that Nora came back with Bart, I don't know him, it's because if Dad meets me now I won't exist."

"I think there might be something Bart didn't tell us. But Barry would never hate you, and I don't know what happened, but it wasn't your fault. He wouldn't blame you."

"He did, I chose Mel over them."

Cisco looked at Meloni and sighed.

"You're Eobard's daughter," he said. Meloni nodded. "And they couldn't see past that, and it was Eobard who killed him, wasn't it?"

"But it wasn't Meloni," Don said. "She's not like him, Uncle Cisco, you have to-"

"I believe you, Don," Cisco said. "I don't know how much things will change in the next, what, three decades? But the Barry I know, he wouldn't be angry with you. Scared maybe, but he wouldn't hate you for this."

"He was furious."

"Eobard Thawne killed your grandmother."

"I know. Dad yelled everything he'd done at me. But Meloni isn't Eobard and he can't tell me I'm not allowed to see her just because of her father. He really can't, we have lectures together."

"How old are you?" Cisco asked.

"Nineteen."

"Did he tell you when he found out Nora was working with Eobard he ran her back to the future without letting her explain? He regretted it. He blamed himself when she was erased."

"But-"

"I think Barry hears the name Eobard Thawne and he doesn't think. His biggest fear is losing the people he loves, and Eobard is so determined to take everyone from him. Try talking to him. If he's still acting like an idiot, call me and I'll kick some sense into him, if your mother hasn't already done that."

"She's not..." Don trailed off.

"Which is why she hasn't already yelled at him," Cisco said. "I'm assuming that was Eobard too."

Don nodded.

"Well, if you're here to fix time, I think I know one thing that shouldn't have happened. Things will be different when you get home, Donnie. That's how time travel works. You can never truly go back to what it was before. You should probably erase my memories now, but hang onto that, if there's anything you need, you come find me, promise?"

"Thanks, Uncle Cisco," Don said.

"Come here, both of you," Cisco said. He pulled them both into a hug. "You two can do this. You can stop him, and you can get them both back. It'll be okay. I promise."

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (07)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: homophobia (Tae’s family is insisting he can’t be gay)

SERIES: CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER’S OST: Fix You covered by BTS

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

You closed your eyes the moment you heard the first line of the song.

When you get what you want but not what you need

Your heart was thumping, unable to bottle up the emotions that had been eating you for months now.

One year and seven months, to be exact.

You left Seoul, your hometown, nineteen months ago.

"Why can't we just eat at home?" Taehyung groaned, clearly not happy with how things were going right now.

You shrugged because you also didn't know why Yoongi and Jimin decided to have dinner at Per Se, a fine dining restaurant, tonight.

Did they forget that you and your brother were broke? The both of you couldn't live life like you once did in Korea.

Life in the city that never sleeps was different. You still had a job, but you were no longer an architect, deciding that it was best to pursue graphic designing instead.

You worked from eight to five pm in an office now. Gone were the days you visited construction sites. What you created at your current job were images, logos and even diagrams.

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

You loved your job, unfortunately your compensation was not enough to keep you going, making you feel like you were:

Stuck in reverse

Your salary was barely enough to cover your rent and utilities expenses. Jimin, your roommate, knew this so he lent you his car, the same car Taehyung was driving at this moment.

You didn't want to borrow your roommate's car at first, but Jimin insisted, saying that he had a new car and that he didn't know what to do with the old one.

Jimin didn't want to sell it. He was a very sentimental person and the car was actually a gift from his parents.

So he let you use it. You were special to Jimin. He wouldn't mind that you and your brother were using something that he loved.

"Fuck it. I'm going home," Taehyung announced, suddenly turning right.

Your eyes widened, ready to scold him.

But you didn't. Now when—

And the tears come streaming down your face

—he was crying.

You gasped, but you quickly pursed your lips into a thin line. You also looked outside the window of the car, refusing to look at your brother.

You didn't want him to feel like you were prying or that you felt bad for him. No. Taehyung didn't appreciate empathy. For him, it was just the kinder version of pity.

He didn't need you or anyone to feel bad for him as it would only make him feel like his decision was wrong.

When you lose something, you can't replace

When Taehyung moved back here in New York, he lost something that he could never replace: his family in Seoul.

You remembered why your brother lost contact with the Kims. It happened almost two years ago.

"I'll just change," was your excuse so that you could get out of the dining area and also because you knew Jungkook would follow you.

You had to talk to him.

You had to remind him again not to tell anyone in your family that you and him were dating.

You thought it would only be for the meantime; however, you changed your mind after your father explained why he wanted Soojin and Jungkook to get married.

It was for Castle, the company your mother, Taemin, and Jong-in all built together.

How could you let the empire fall?

Apart from this, you saw how Soojin looked at your boyfriend. She loved him. Maybe more than you could ever love Jungkook.

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

You didn't want Jungkook's love to go to waste. You didn't deserve him. He deserved Soojin, someone who could love him dearly.

"Jungkook, as we are saying—" Sin-ae tried to open the conversation again the moment you disappeared from the scene.

Your best friend cut Sin-ae off though. You were right. Jungkook was going to follow you.

"W-Wait! Jungkook! Where are you going?" Sin-ae panicked, getting up so she could follow Jungkook.

Sin-ae could tell that this situation was starting to upset her daughter. Soojin was gritting her teeth, tears filled her eyes.

"Mom. Let Jungkook be." Taehyung said, stopping Sin-ae from running after your best friend. He just knew Jungkook's going to go to you. You and him clearly needed some time alone.

"No. I still have something to say to that boy!"

"It can wait." Taehyung clenched his fist. "I have something to say to you too. It can't wait."

"What is it?"

Taehyung had the undivided attention of his mother now. Admittedly, every member of his family was focused on him, waiting.

Taehyung gulped.

It was now or never.

"I'm gay."

Could it be worse?

Was telling his family about his sexual orientation the worst thing that could happen tonight?

Maybe.

It was the worst because he didn't think this through. It just happened. It was the only way he could think of to stop them from meddling with your relationship with Jungkook.

"You're what?" Taemin's jaw ticked, eyes turning dark as he turned to his third born son.

Lights will guide you home

Taehyung's heart skipped a beat. He was nervous but he didn't regret anything. He was certain that the truth would guide him towards light.

And ignite your bones

He would be free after this night.

"Taehyung..." Sin-ae held onto the head of the chair, grasping for support. She felt like she was going to faint.

This night was stressing her out so much.

"A-Are you sure? I-I..." Sin-ae swallowed hard. She was shaking. Soojin caressed her mother's hand.

"What if you're just confused? Have you dated women before—"

"Yes. I dated seven women. All didn't work out."

"B-But..." Sin-ae tried speaking again, however she trailed off.

Taehyung shrugged upon seeing her mother's expression. He continued eating his food as if nothing happened.

"Sorry it came out of blue. I didn't want to shock you, but seeing how this dinner turned out, I didn't really have a choice but to tell you."

"What do you mean by that?" Namjoon creased his forehead, he obviously didn't like what his younger brother was implying.

"Well, it seems to me that you all know about the engagement party, but you still didn't budge even when it's clear that Jungkook doesn't want to marry Soojin."

Taehyung shrugged before speaking again.

"I don't want to go through the same thing, I guess? I don't want you all to suddenly force me to marry some rich girl. But! If it's a rich guy, I might just agree—"

"Kim Taehyung!" Taemin's voice was like a thunder when he cut off what his third born son was saying.

And I will try to fix you

"Stop your nonsense right now!" Taemin shouted, as if it was going to fix something, as if shouting would suddenly change Taehyung's preference.

"Ouch, dad!" Taehyung pouted, clutching his chest. "Don't be mean. This is not nonsense. This is me telling you the truth about myself..."

The third born son was trying to joke around, thinking that it would at least calm his family.

"I like boys, dad. I let them do me—"

Taemin abruptly stood up. He was holding a table knife, ready to attack Taehyung.

"I said shut up!"

"Yeobo!" Sin-ae hugged her husband.

Seokjin and Namjoon stepped up too, protecting their brother.

"Father, you are overreacting." Seokjin said, hiding Taehyung behind him.

"My son tells me he's a faggot and you're telling me to calm down, huh, Kim Seokjin!?"

"There is nothing wrong with being gay, father. What's wrong is harming people just because of their sexuality." Namjoon said this, touching the hinge of his eyeglasses to stop it from slipping down his nose.

Taehyung's brothers never defied their father, but they would never stand still if Taemin did something to hurt any member of their family, except you. Seokjin and Namjoon didn't care about you.

"It's okay, hyung. You don't have to defend me." Taehyung smiled at his brothers before switching his gaze at Taemin.

"Tell me, father. If I don't 'stop this ‘nonsense,' what would you do to me?"

"I will disown you." Taemin snarled, pushing Sin-ae away from him. "You won't receive anything from me."

"Ah, you will disinherit me. I see..." Taehyung smiled, though his heart was breaking apart. "Okay, then. I will make things easier for you."

"Yah! Kim Taehyung, what are you talking about?" Soojin glared at her brother. She wanted to slap him. He was being stubborn!

"Well, father can't disinherit me, his legitimate heir, just because he wants to. But like what I've said, I'm gonna make it easy for him." Taehyung slightly raised his shoulders. "I'm disclaiming my inheritance. I'd rather be broke than have a homophobic father."

Taemin was about to attack Taehyung, but Sin-ae hugged him once more.

The corner of Taehyung's mouth quirked up as he placed his car keys and card on the table, a proof that he would not take anything from his father anymore.

"Don't worry. I will also pay back everything you spent on me since I was a child." Taehyung bowed down. "Thank you for everything. Goodbye."

And high up above or down below

You blinked back to reality after remembering the reason why Taehyung left his family. The way he told you that story made you feel like you were there when it happened.

But you weren't.

You were busy breaking your own heart.

When you're too in love to let it go

You went straight out of the mansion after mumbling an excuse to your family.

"Hey..." Jungkook followed you, grabbing your wrist.

"I told you not to tell them." You twisted your hand, a not so subtle way of asking him to let you go. His palm was hot, but it was causing you to shiver. You didn't want to be touched by him.

"I didn't—"

"You almost did." You snarled, becoming more frustrated as time passed. "You broke your promise to me."

"Tiger..." Jungkook called softly, trying to hold your hand again.

You walked away, as if you were too scared to stand closer to him. You were. You didn't trust yourself when you were around him. It was like you wanted to just bury your face in his neck. You knew Jungkook felt that way too, but he shouldn't. You shouldn't.

You were in the territory of the Kims. All of them wanted Jungkook to marry Soojin. They would most likely scowl if they saw you being intimate with your 'best friend.'

"I'm sorry..." He said, still following you.

You were headed to the garden of the mansion. No one really went here at night. There were just too many mosquitoes here.

"I won't break my promise again." He said softly. Jungkook was trying to catch your gaze.

You avoided it.

You couldn't look at him as you said "of course it won't happen again. You can't say something that isn't true anymore."

"What do you mean?"

But if you never try, you'll never know

"I'm breaking up with you, Jungkook."

"What?" He was breathless. Your cruel words knocked out the air out of him.

"You heard me." You said simply, still avoiding his gaze. Do not look at him or you'd break, you reminded yourself.

"Y-You're kidding, right?" And he still couldn't believe what was happening.

No. This couldn't be true. He just had you. He was just starting to show you how much he loved you. Why were you pushing him away again?

This wasn't fair.

"You're engaged, Jungkook. To my sister." You gritted your teeth, looking down at your feet. You could see a mosquito sucking your blood there. It hurt.

"You know I don't joke around when my sister's happiness is at stake—"

"What about your happiness?" Jungkook cut you off. And mine?

"I'm happy when Soojin is happy, when my family is happy."

"What about me?" His voice was so small when he asked this, like he was ashamed and hurt. "Am I not your family too?"

Your stomach churned. Your tears fell, you saw your teardrop hitting the mosquito sucking at your foot.

Your foot hurt. Your foot itches.

You were focusing on the wrong things. You complained about the wrong things.

Your heart hurt. But you didn't care.

Your foot. It itched.

Just what you're worth

"You are." You blurted out after a few moments of silence. Would it feel good to scratch your foot?

"That's why I'm ending this. I don't want to hurt you any further..."

You're not hurting me Jungkook was about to say this. You didn't give him a chance to speak though.

"I can't love you, Kook..."

Lights will guide you home

They said lights would guide someone home. Lights helped people see. It helped them so that they wouldn't stumble in the darkness, into something they couldn't possibly fight.

For the longest time, Jungkook believed this. He thought you were his light, guiding him—leading him towards home.

Home was supposed to be safe and it should bring comfort—this was what Jungkook longed. A home.

And ignite your bones

A home full of love, laughter—just things that would ignite his bones, that would make him thank the Maker for giving him life.

"Why not?" Jungkook managed to ask even though he was breaking inside.

All he could think about was your cruel words.

I can't love you, Kook...

I can't love you, Kook...

I can't love you, Kook...

It meant he was hard to love, right? He was hard to love despite the fact that he was trying his best. He was good. So good—too good, but it wasn't enough.

There was no home to come to.

Your foot still itches.

"Because I'm broken." You were stupid to think that you could fill his heart with love.

Love didn't work like that.

Jungkook shook his head violently. He knew you didn't want him to touch you, but he did.

He couldn't stop himself.

He took your face into his hands, feeling your skin. He was touching you like he was making sure you were real.

"And you can't love someone when you're broken."

His response was instant.

"Then let me try to fix you." He said this as if it was easy.

You cackled. This was better than sobbing.

"Too bad..." You finally had the courage to meet his gaze. You looked at him dead in the eyes, saying this: "Because I don't want to be fixed."

Jungkook was right.

You were his light.

You were his light, but you weren't going to guide him home.

You were the light that was going to blind him.

"Goodbye, Jungkook." You smiled.

And then you walked away.

This time Jungkook didn't follow you, but aside from this nothing else changed—well except that you weren't looking down anymore.

You looked up, remembering that when you kissed Jungkook for the first time, the moon and the stars were there to witness it.

The moon and the stars were still here.

This time they witnessed how you broke Jungkook's heart.

Damn. Your foot still itches.

[headinthestaticsky]

The Phenomenon of the Immortal Sun: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 1

Summary: It was time for Fleur Swan to become Fleur Hale/Whitlock. She has started to adjust to the lifestyle of a vegetarian vampire as well as her powers, which she seems to develop a new one once in a while. But what happens when something happens that none of the Cullens are prepared for.

"Nature will get her way Though you took her for a fool Walking on the lake Frozen under you."

Run Cried the Crawling by, Anges Obel

When Bella got home from Vegas with Edward at her side it was the most pissed off my dad had ever been at her. He knew she would throw out the "I'll move away." Card on him but he wasn't fazed by it anymore. She was married, and a adult... he couldn't stop her. It was satisfying to see dad finally stand up to her, letting go of the fear of losing her. Bella eventually developed a guilty look on her face while Edward tensed by her side. She decided that she would have her honeymoon after Jasper and I got married, since dad would know we would both be out of the house. It confused me since she would have to wait 5 months just to go on her honeymoon, it also delayed her changing into a vampire. Since they both agreed to do it on there honeymoon.

Regarding me however my eyes are still a dark red rose color, which completely puzzled the Cullens. It confused me as well...knowing that after a year of transformation my eyes should be golden by now. I had never drunken an once of human blood but, my eyes were just as red as they were when I first turned. My blood lust got a lot better and I was beginning to gain control of my powers. It turns out I am also a shape shifter in a sense... I can transform myself into anyone I wanted to be. Things seemed to have calmed down it was nice to have a moment of serenity.

I stood in my room which was now void of my items being out on display. They were instead all in boxes stacked up on top of each other. Dad helped me out earlier in the day, it was nice to spend so one-on-one time with him while I still lived here. Bella was packing up too, excited to finally leave the house and become a vampire. She wouldn't let dad help her out however and spent her time locked up in her room. Probably waiting for Edward to enter and talk with her. I just sat down on my bed looking at my surroundings when I heard Jasper enter through my window.

"I was waiting for you to show up." I said grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Mmm, hello to you too." Jasper said.

"You're not going to believe who accepted my RVSP'd to the wedding..."

"Who is it?"

"My mom, her new husband is coming with her too."

"I hope they won't cause any trouble." Jasper grumbled.

"Well... the last thing I said to her was when I moved back down here when I was 15...I told her that next time I see her would be at my wedding. I then told her that she would enjoy the the open bar and her speech for me would be her barfing all over the place. So umm... be prepared for that to happen." I explained trying to hold in a laugh at the face Jasper made.

"Damn love...you're brutal sometimes."

"Thank you... that is so sweet to say!"

"You better get down to our place... Alice and Rosalie are waiting for you so they can throw you a Bachelorette party."

"Yeah... they'll probably break the house trying to get to me." I said and then began to laugh.

"Have fun darlin." Jasper said softly.

"You too, if Emmett, Edward, and Dean got you a stripper I will murder all of them."

"Don't worry about that darlin, we're merely going out to the woods to hunt bears... maybe a few mountain lions. Besides Edward won't be there anyway"

"Oh fun...wait, Edward won't be there?"

"Yeah... it seems he still holds a grudge after I called him a boy before the battle."

"Only a boy would be offended by that." I said

"I better go love you." Jasper replied and pecked my cheek.

"Love you too." I did the same thing, pecking his cheek. He left a few seconds afterward leaving me alone. I pulled on pair of boots and ran downstairs.

"I'll see you later dad, Rose and Alice are throwing me a little party."

"Alright Petal, love you."

"Love you too!"

I arrived at the Cullen's house in record time, my tracking ability had improved greatly. I zoomed up to the door and before I could open it Rosalie, Esme, Bree, and Alice stood there with excited smiles on their faces.

"The party has arrived." I said jokingly.

They all laughed and ushered me into the lounge room.

Bree had been living with us ever since the end of the battle, she struggled to conform to the diet after living off of human blood so long and she couldn't leave the house much since she was presumed dead. But Jasper has been helping her out a lot.

"I can't wait to see what you did with the venue outside... can I take a look?"

"No, you may not, Rosalie and I all agreed that you shouldn't see it until tomorrow. It'll be great with the pictures."

"Okay okay... is the dress finished?"

"Yes, now that you can see." Rosalie said, dragging me down to her room. A large vanity was set up with hundreds of makeup products. I turned around and saw my dress... it was beautiful.

(I know the dresses aren't exactly the same but just pretend the one showing off the back of the dress has sleeves haha.)

a"Oh my gosh Rose, you know my style so well."

"You're going to look beautiful tomorrow." Esme said, her gracious smile still on her face.

"Thank you guys so much... for everything."

"No problem Fleur, I can't wait for you to officially be a part of the family." Alice replied.

"So, how is everything back at home?" Rosalie said, already playing with my hair.

"It's tense...dad's pissed at Bella, Bella is pissed at dad. I still can't believe she actually eloped."

"Doesn't surprise me any... Bella's priorities have certainly changed." Alice grumbled.

"Yeah... not gonna lie though Alice they've always been like that, she just hid it from you guys pretty well."

"Yeah... I guess so." Alice said disappointment was on her face.

"Let's talk about something else...Fleur, did Jasper tell you where you two were going for your honeymoon?"

"No... he wants it to be a surprise, I can't wait to see where we're going."

"I'm sure it's going to be fun." Alice said, nudging me playfully.

"If I could blush right now, I would." I said.

Timeskip: The next day.

"Rosalie this is like we rehearsed it... smile and don't kill my mother." I reminded her.

"I'll try my best... Why does Bella have to be a bridesmaid again?" She said, brushing back my long black hair.

"Because I don't need my mother talking my ear off saying how selfish I am."

I saw Alice shake her head before going back to steaming my dress in the background.

"Fleur, Rosalie? Where are you guys?" I heard my dad call out.

"In here dad!" I called back.

"Renee get your butt up here your daughter is getting married. Get over this stupid grudge." I heard dad yell. Rosalie, Alice, and I all laughed.

"Aww, you look beautiful Petal." Dad said, smiling at me. I said Renee in the background she had a shocked look on her face.

"Thanks, Dad, you can thank Rosalie and Alice for all of this. Mom? You gonna come over? I'm not infected with anything you know."

She scoffed and walked up to me, we both gave each other fake smiles.

"Did you get plastic surgery? Your face looks... I don't know more sculpted." She said.

"No mother I just aged... the last time you saw me I was 15, I'm 20 now." I lied, everyone knew most vampires' facial features perfected when fully changed. But I couldn't exactly tell her that.

"Okay..." She said in a skeptical voice. I heard Rosalie growl behind me.

"Renee knock it off." Dad said he had a curt look on his face.

"Well since it's your wedding day we thought you needed something blue." Renee started, her face didn't look too happy.

"And something old, besides your mother." Dad joked, Rosalie and Alice let out a chuckle.

"Nice Charlie," Renee said rolling her eyes.

Dad then opened a jewelry box that had a hairpiece in it. I knew it was grandma swans.

"It was Grandma Swans, I added the Sapphires though, I thought it matched your ring pretty well. When the time comes around you can give it to your daughter." Dad said he handed it to Rosalie so she could put it in my hair.

"Aww thank you so much dad." I said I was lucky I didn't have my dress on yet so I could hug him.

"Should've saved this for Bella." Renee grumbled quitely.

"Oh no I forgot her veil, Rose could you come with me?" Alice asked.

Rosalie hesitated before answering.

"Sure..." They walked out a few seconds later.

"So... you stuck true to your guns. I didn't see you until your wedding day." Dad just looked at the two of us and walked out.

"Yep."

"How many men did you date before you got engaged to this one. I know how bored you can get." Renee said, implying I sleep around a lot.

"He's the first and only man I've dated." Renee's reflection was shocked in the mirror.

"Well... I knew my Bella would do that but... not, you." She said in a condescending voice.

"You have no idea what Bella has done."

"So who is he?" Renee said, ignoring my previous statement.

"His name is Jasper and he's an amazing, kind human being." I answered back, pride-filled my voice. I could suddenly feel Bella's presence behind the wall in the other room listening in on us.

"Sure... we all know women like you say that when the men have slept with you."

"You're childish insults do not bother me anymore mother."

"What childish insults? I'm stating facts." Renee said, acting innocent.

"Yeah, facts you convinced yourself are true."

"All I know is if my Bella wouldn't gotten married so young. So let's cut to the chase how far along are you?"

'I'm not pregnant Renee, I need to go help Rose and Alice find that veil." I got up to walk away when I got an idea.

"Oh by the way, Bella got married at nineteen in Vegas."

Renee just stood there in shock. I smiled in satisfaction.

"Enjoy the open bar!"

[kessicasrps]

I practically light up when she said that she liked my ideas, it making me feel good to know that my voice was being heard. That was another thing that I had experienced, especially with male producers, not being able to have proper input and that's why I had ended up switching record labels in recent years. I nod at her, frowning when I heard her tell me what she had been through. "That's so horrible.. I can't even imagine. I started out in this business when I was sixteen and the things that grown men do to underage girls in this business, it's despicable. I am glad that you had your husband there to protect you and defend you though. Back then, I didn't have anyone or any guidance. I am just so glad that I listened to my heart. And based on everything you went through, I am just glad that you didn't quit and that you kept fighting. I can't wait to make a powerful song with you to prove to everyone we're still here and they can't knock us down," I say to her. -K

I smile happily as I watched the two of you interact, loving that you seemed to be getting along so well. I felt like we could relate to the two of them and it felt good to be talking with a couple who understood us so well and could relate to us in so many ways. "I think those songs would be great and I can't wait to get started working on them. And we will find a way to make sure those writing and recording sessions work with both of our schedules. I know you two will be very busy with filming the show and we have a large family so we like to make sure work doesn't interfere with the schedule we like to keep for our daughters but we will make sure to work it out," I say, smiling kindly at them. -L

"Do you mind if Seb comes with me to the recording sessions? We're in that newlywed phase, which I don't know if will ever fade away," I laugh softly as I glanced briefly at you. "Even though we'll be working together, we like spending time together and I would love to bring him with me to show him what it's like making music. Trust me, he will be very quiet," I say, kissing your cheek lovingly. -K

"Like I mentioned before, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have Louis around. He brought me out of my shell and just taught me so much that I never learned growing up, and defending myself and making my own decisions were some things he definitely taught me. I wasn't allowed to make decisions at all when it came to the music choices of the band. I only ever did the designs we wore." I explained. "And just like you, I followed my heart as well. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here right now, and Louis wouldn't be my husband," I say honestly. No one ever knew the true story of how we got married and that was something we rarely talked about because it was somewhat of a sensitive topic. I looked at you for a moment as I held onto your hand before looking at her. "Louis and I, in a sense, were kind of forced to get married but we were married on a whim at the same time. We didn't get to have the big white wedding I always wanted to have, and we've been trying to plan one for years, but we never get to have the chance to actually plan it out," I say honestly. "I can never say it enough, but Louis is the best decision I've ever made in my entire life." I say. "My Dad didn't allow me to date because he wanted the band to be my main priority. My Mom was the complete opposite and wanted me to have a life. Louis and I were together in secret for two years. When my Dad found out, he fired Louis and kicked him out of the band and I didn't want him to go. My Mom didn't want me to be miserable, so she sent me after Louis and told me to bring him back and we'd work things out with my Dad. Instead, I told Louis that the only way he'd be accepted was if we got married, so we eloped when I was nineteen, and he was and is the one thing I am most proud of in my life, because he allows me to be myself, and he's who I am today. So if he weren't around, I wouldn't be here and I'd still be controlled by my Dad." I explained. "So I completely understand what it's like to be controlled by men. Louis is the only man in my life, besides my brother, that's never controlled me. He lets me have my creative freedom, that's why he is now my manager." I say honestly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on so much about that!" I chuckled softly. "Like Louis said, we do like to spend time with our girls and we base our schedule around them, because we don't want to miss anything important in their lives," I added. "And Sebastian is more than welcomed to be there when we record. Louis and I completely understand what it's like to not be separated," I chuckled softly. "Louis and I are never apart, especially with all that we've been through together and what I've gone through, you'll see that he never leaves my side. But I'm not afraid to show off my husband either," I smiled. "So I advise you to do the same thing, and show off your husband," I smiled. -Jessica

"Damn! You got yourself a keeper," I say to the both of them. "No one wonder why Katie is such a massive fan." I added. "You two are such an inspiration, how has there never been a documentary on you two?" I chuckled softly. "And I'd love to see how things go in the studio. The two wives recording while the two husbands step back and watch, I don't mind standing around and enjoying it. We husbands must stick together and support the wives right?" I say to Louis as I laughed softly. -Sebastian

I laughed softly from what he said. "Louis and I like to keep things private. He's a very private person, and I've taken after him after living my life in public for so long. I mean, we've never even told anyone how we got married. You two are the firsts I've ever shared that story with. Normally we just tell people that we were so in love, we didn't want to wait for a big white wedding, so we eloped. We don't like to share every single detail about our lives, because then our lives don't feel so personal, and we like to keep those moments to ourselves," I explained as I snuggled into your side. "I just love him so much, I don't like to share him." I chuckled softly. -Jessica

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 5

The Older Woman

Chapter 1

"Welcome back Shannon," Amanda said in that calm, gentle voice most therapist seemed to have. She smiled broadly as Shannon took her jacket off and sat down. Her thick, curly, white hair was pulled back in a tight bun. She had on thick, horn rimmed glasses that looked 40 years out of fashion. She wore a blue dress that was buried beneath multiple layers of scarves.

"Thanks," Shannon replied in a non-committal manner.

"So, before we begin with today's session, I want to review what you told me last session, if that's alright with you?" Amanda still had a small smile, but her face had become more emotionally neutral.

"That's fine."

Amanda looked down at her notes and began reading, "So, born November twenty-second, nineteen seventy-three to an alcoholic, single mother, father unknown. Went to live with your grandparents and aunt, who raised you and you call 'Mom', after being sexualy molested by your biological mothers boyfriend. You became morbidly obese, were constantly picked on and bullied at school; your only friend abused and gaslit you.

"Eventually you lost weight, went to college, met your husband, dropped out, got married, had two kids, your mother got sick and passed away about four years ago. You're currently employed as a warehouse worker. You've had a history of self harm as well as harming others, namely animals. You were experiencing feelings of suicide, but not currently. Is all that correct?" Amanda lifted her head and looked at Shannon.

"Pretty much. Really doesn't sound like much when you read it back to me though. It certainly doesn't sound like forty-four years worth of living." Shannon really was taken aback by just how small and empty her life sounded. It made her feel uneasy, like a shell of a person.

Amanda's smile broaden again. "Lives are always tricky things to sum up. You can whittle any life down to a single sentence, or expand it to a ten thousand page epic. It's all about how much detail you want to get into."

"I suppose."

"So, how has things gone in month since we last talked?"

"It's hard to say. Events wise, pretty bland basically. No major hiccups or disasters. I should be happy, I suppose; but I just feel lost and unmorred. I just feel like I'm drifting with no direction, no goals, just an empty vessel at the whims of the forces around me.

"I used to have goals. Dreams. I wanted to be a professional musician. Still do, I guess, but at my age, that's pretty much not going to happen. I also wanted to be a writer- novels and screenplays. Maybe even a director.

"In school I used to write stories all the time- short stories, novels, original ideas and what is now called fan fiction, plays. My eleventh grade English teacher really encouraged me. She allowed me to write and perform plays in her class. One every marking period."

"She sounds like a pretty good person."

"She was. She was Jewish and when I was losing my faith in Christianity, I explored becoming a Jew because of her."

Amanda took her chin in her right hand and shifted to her side. "So how was that? Losing your faith that is. Did that affect you a lot or no?"

Shannon took a deep breath while trying to organize her thoughts. "Um, yes and no. I mean, I sometimes have the fear of what if I'm wrong; buuuuuuuuuuuut, it was such a gradual loss that when I finally reached it, it was more like an oh well type moment. The biggest thing is just keeping my mouth shut. My family are all very religious. My hometown is super religious. So telling anyone your agnostic, well most of them don't even know what that means, but saying you're a nonbeliever, you might as well be screaming, 'God is dead, hail Satan'."

"I can see where that would be a problem."

"Yep, so I just stay in the closet."

Amanda's eyes narrowed. There was something in the way Shannon said that last sentence that caught her attention. "So, your husband, he was your first boyfriend then?"

"Yep. First boy I dated, first guy I had sex with."

"Uh-huh. So, did you ever date a girl?"

Shannon suddenly stiffened. Her eyes grew big and wide, they darted this way and that, seemingly looking for an escape route. Then she sighed, hunched over, and looked down at her hands.

"One. I dated her before I went to college. It was a bad break up. It took me about a year to get over her."

"I see. Were you two intimate at all?"

Shannon gave a quick sigh, but never looked up. "Yes. She was my first."

Amanda studied Shannon for a bit. "So, are you bisexual or just experimenting?"

Shannon didn't answer, she just kept looking down. It was then the final piece fit.

"Shannon, are you gay?"

Shannon nodded her head a bit and then looked up. "Yes. I'm a lesbian." She paused for a moment, then added, "It's not just my religious beliefs that I'm in the closet about."

"I see. Does anyone else know?"

"In my life currently? No. My mother figured it out. On her death bed, she confessed to that she was gay and that she knew I was too. Then she made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone because I had a moral obligation to Sam and the kids."

"She had no right to make you promise that."

"Maybe, but it's true. What am I supposed to do? Leave my husband and kids? -destroy my family? For what? A life I can never live?" Shannon's voice raised in anger as she defended her choice.

"That's not my call to make. I'm just here to ask questions and point possible roads out to you. I can say, that your entire life seems to be one big pendulum between short sighted selfishness and long-term self sacrifice. You have no balance.

"I can also tell you that based on my other queer clients, and my story, you'll be completely miserable until you either come out or you'll become completely self destructive."

Shannon cocked her head. "You're gay?"

"Trans. I transitioned about fifteen years ago. I lost my wife, my children, my house, job, everything. But, I saved myself. I'm not saying that you being in the closet is the root of your problems, but I can tell you, we won't be able to even deal with those until you deal with this first."

"What should I do?" Shannon sounded and felt defeated. Her question was both facetious and an actual plea. She had no idea what to do. She felt even more lost than ever and was desperate for someone, anyone, to tell her what to do.

"That's for you to decide. My job isn't to tell you what to do, but to help you develop the tools necessary to figure that out for yourself."

Shannon looked down briefly and then said, "Ok".