#i did try answering as briefly as i can cuz i didn't wanna make it longer

[jewvian]

Hello! I have a few questions for you, I just discovered your blog and you seem cool. What are your favorite Jewish/Israeli foods? Do you think the hatred and anti-Zionism towards Jews and Israelis are unjustified or is it okay to hate this country, its people, and their government? What are your favorite proverbs in Hebrew (if you'll translate them into English I would appreciate it)

Oh hello! Thanks for your compliment lol I am in fact very cool 😎

Your questions are so random in order lol like the jump from fave food to antisemitism is nuts lmao no shade tho, I'll try answering them all as thoroughly as I can!

It's a complicate question cuz like Israeli cuisine is still in its diapers, it's still evolving so it's more about combinations of dishes and types of food that create this cuisine. Like we have schnitzels in baguettes with spreads like hummus and harissa and topped with sauerkraut and freshly sliced vegetables. These combinations are Israeli cuisine in my opinion lol falafel is still number one in my book, shawarma as well. Lots and lots of veggies, grilled meats, grape juice in a glass bottle. That's the vibe for me lol Jewish food however! I'm Ashkenazi, so Eastern Europe cuisine also speaks to me dearly. You can't get a better dish than a matzo ball soup, sorry y'all.

And now to the heavy stuff huh? To put it as simply as I can cuz some people are thick as fuck, criticism is fair game - hatred isn't. You can criticize the Israeli government as much as you want, we do it here too, but using this justified criticism as a tool to spread antisemitism and bigotry and just full on hatred is, you guessed it - wrong! I've seen too many "critics", let's call them that, revert straight into blatant antisemitism when confronted (and even spread it casually tbh) so I am always super weary when seeing these kind of people online. Sometimes they are worse than far right extremists, there I said it. Like at least I know a neo Nazi simply hates me, but the far left will do cartwheels trying to justify their opinions in a way that doesn't paint them as antisemitic while at the same time spew the worst tropes, proving they've never interacted with a Jew before. "I don't hate Jews, I just think they are evil colonizers! Also is human meat kosher?" I wish I made that sentence up but it was posted on this site not long ago. So there you go anon.

Wow favourite proverbs, that's hard lol Jewish people love their idioms and proverbs lmao few jump to mind tho, like there's the famous "if you will it, it's no dream" by Theodor Herzl, which is essentially the country's unofficial motto lol hmm oh there's my fave: "man plans and God laughs" meaning you can plan your life as much as you want but God will fuck you up eventually! There's also "we survived Pharaoh - We'll survive this too" which means like, we made it through the worst in the past so we can overcome whatever harsh shit is in front of us today. Jewish proverbs in general can be either super insightful and clever or the silliest shit you've ever seen in your life lmao there's no in between! You either gonna learn an important lesson or just get back at someone with the snarkiest sentence a human ever created. "If he were the grim reaper - no one would die" I think this one is self explanatory lol yeah so these are just the ones I remember for now I hope they were enough for you 😊

That's it I think lol I hope I managed to answer your questions, if you want more info on whatever subject - I'm here and I'm still very cool so you're welcome to send more lol

[bandgie]

As Above So Below

MDNI 18+ | fem!reader x Jongho x Seonghwa

warnings: freeuse (f!), dom Jongho, pussy eating, orgasm denial, sub (f! and hwa!), 3some, rough boob play, light clit play, brief mentions of face riding, exhibitionism

2.2k words

When you first brought up the idea of free use, Jongho seemed hardly interested. 

"But I already fuck you when I want. I don't see the point," he mindlessly had said when you mentioned it. "Okay but..." you remember fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "Like, I mean I could be doing anything. Anything and you could be touching me, using me. Like is that not hot to you?" Jongho shrugged at this, but you could see the hidden smirk on his lips. "I don't mind trying."

It's been nearly a month since the conversation and Jongho acted how he always did. Few butt grabs here, jiggling your tits there. Sometimes he'd stand behind you while you sat on the couch and leaned down to play with your pussy. Rubbing circles over and over your cunt before pulling away, leaving you bucking your hips and whining. 

He didn't use it like you wanted him to, but you weren't necessarily disappointed by it. The days carried as usual, and Seonghwa happened to be over at your apartment, talking about how he got into it with his roommate. 

"He keeps touching my stuff," Seonghwa crinkles his nose in disgust. "And he doesn't even put it back right! I'm sure he's broken one of my figurines and just glued it together." He huffs and crosses his arms. 

You set your mug on the dinner table down, crossing your legs as you try not to laugh. "Seonghwa...I don't think you should move out just cuz of that." You bite back your smile at his frowning face, "Did you ever just tell him not to?"

Seonghwa looks at you ludicrously, "Did I- Of course I did! You think I'm just gonna let this slide? No! I paid for it and I built them and it's just rude in general! Next time I see him, I'm going to-"

The front door knob jiggles, clicks and turns. The sounds make the two of you look in the direction of it before it opens. 

Jongho enters, peeking his head in and eyeing the area. "I thought I heard someone. I could hear Seonghwa crying all the way from the car." He chucks his shoes off and replaces them with slippers. Seonghwa pouts beside you, "I'm not crying."

You giggle, watching your boyfriend set his coat on the couch and make his way to you. He kisses the top of your head and smiles, but something about it sends shivers down your spine. 

"How was work? Are you hungry?" Jongho only shakes his head at your questions, "Work was stressful. Had to train the new guy, you know how that is." You hum at his answer, "Did you wanna try taking a nap? Maybe that'll help you relax."

That sinister smile appears again, but he shakes his head at your suggestions to try and mask it. "I think I'm fine here. What was Seonghwa crying about again?"

Jongho takes his place behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders and Seonghwa desperately claims he is not crying. 

"His roommate Dan-"

"It's San."

"Sorry," you apologize, rolling your eyes at Seonghwa's correction. "His roommate San is giving him a hard time. Touching his things and going in his room unannounced." 

Though you can't see, Jongho nods at the information. His fingers gently begin to kneed into your shoulders, going up to your neck before traveling back down. His touch is cold from the outside, but still soft. You involuntarily shiver. 

"Sounds like he is giving you a hard time," Jongho gives a deep sigh. "Did you tell him to stop?"

Seonghwa makes a sound of frustration. "Jesus christ you two are the exact same! No shit I did. But he thinks he can wiggle his way out of trouble just cuz he's handsome."

"Still, it can't be all bad. Don't you have like what...two? Three roommates?" You ask, ignoring how Jongho dips his fingers underneath the top of your shirt. The tips of his fingers brush against the swell of your breasts before going back up. Seonghwa's eyes briefly drop to your chest before locking eyes with you. It was so quick, had you blinked you might've missed it.

"I...Yeah, one other roommate. Totally opposite," he swallows thickly. "He's fine, it's just San I can't stand."

Jongho gets brave, opting to slide his hands over your clothed breasts down to your hips. He squeezes your flesh then travels up, slowly making his way until his palms cup over your tits again. He pushes them together and jiggles.

Seonghwa and you give the same reaction, gasping wide-eyed. You take hold of his wrist with one hand while your other grips the underside of your seat. "J-Jongho what are you..." He moves your mounds up and down, squeezing and giggling at your shocked state. 

"What do you mean?" He gives a gummy smile. "I'm just doing what you asked me to."

A particularly harsh clutch makes you whine. Your hips lift from the chair for a second, as if trying to get friction in the air. Shyly, you look Seonghwa's way to see him in a quiet state of shock. Still, you catch the way his tongue pokes from his mouth. A habit you noticed he does when he sees something he likes. 

"I can go," Seonghwa gulps nervously. "I-I should go." Before he has the chance to stand to his feet, Jongho shakes his head, "Go? Weren't you just talking about your roommate? Don't you wanna get that off your chest first?"

"I...I no...my roommate..." Seonghwa's words die in his mouth when your boyfriend moves his hands to lift your shirt over your chest. Jongho places the hem in your mouth, a silent instruction for you to bite down on the material. You listen dutifully as Jongho then spills your tits from your bra. 

Your nipples are already hard from how roughly Jongho was playing with them. Your boyfriend pinches your hardened buds and rolls them between his thumb and forefinger. A soft whimper leaves your lips. 

"Oh my god," Seonghwa's eyes look like they're going to pop from his sockets. "Why are you- Is she okay with this?" He painfully tears his eyes away from your bare boobs to look at your face. Seonghwa inspects for any signs of discomfort, but he only finds your cheeks flushed. You bite your lower lip to suppress your moans, but his intense stare makes you want to fold. 

Jongho laughs at the innocent questions. "Did you hear him? He's asking if you're alright." You feel Jongho lean down until his mouth is at your ear, warm breaths ghosting over your skin, "Why don't you tell him whose idea this was?"

You turn your head the other way, unable to meet Seonghwa's eyes. Jongho smiles against your neck and tenderly pecks your skin. The soft nips and bites send shivers throughout your body, and the throbbing in your cunt begins to get unbearable. 

Maybe if you ignore the burning humiliation and listen to your boyfriend instead, he'll reward you. 

Timidly, you pick your head up and look at the overly aroused Seonghwa. "It was my idea. I...I just wanna be a good girl for Jongho. Use me whenever he wants."

Seonghwa's lips part at your confession, his eyes darkening. Jongho's smile turns into a wicked grin. It feels like you're a deer caught by two lions, only you're hoping to be eaten. 

"Dirty little thing I have, huh?" Jongho turns his attention to Seonghwa. "I bet her pussy's all wet. You can take off her underwear." Jongho kisses the sensitive part under your ear, "Put your legs up on the chair baby."

You pick your legs up and place your heels on the edge of the chair. There's hardly any room, but you keep your knees tucked as Seonghwa carefully slips from his seat. He moves slowly, assessing the situation. If he moves too fast, he thinks he might scare you away. But that's hardly an option for you when you see him bend to his knees, lifting your skirt higher until your panties are exposed. 

He sucks in a sharp breath, eyes going to yours then Jongho's.

"Well?" Your boyfriend raises an eyebrow at Seonghwa's reaction. There's a sense of panic that runs through you. Is he not really in the mood? Did he snap out of it? Does he not like it? Your worries are settled when Seonghwa's lips turn to a shy smile, cheekbones poking out. 

"She's so wet. I can see it through her underwear." Seonghwa gently traces the crease of your outlined pussy. The soft touch makes your hips buck, and a loud moan is finally released. You didn't realize how much you needed to be touched. Jongho laughs at your trembling state, hips chasing Seonghwa's hand. 

Just when Seonghwa hooks his finger on the side of your underwear. Jongho stops him. "You know what Hyung," Jongho's lips turn to a pout as he thinks. "Keep it on. Just touch her like that."

You whine at his change of instructions. "Jongho..." You tilt your head back to peer at him. "But I'm being good." Your boyfriend keeps his lower lip jutting out as he responds, "You don't get whatever you want just because you're being good."

You're about to argue when Jongho squeezes your breasts. You moan and arch your back, twisting your head down to Seonghwa who patiently waits for the green light. A small nod from your boyfriend is enough permission. 

He uses his thumb first, running it up and down your slit. Even through the underwear, he can feel the hotness of your cunt. When Seonghwa reaches your clit, he presses down.

"Oh!" You shake at the pressure. Your thighs threaten to snap on his head, but you keep them open. Soft whimpers and pretty gasps leave your wet lips when he rubs his thumb in circles over your nub. Jongho mimics the movements on your nipples, rolling and twisting until you're panting. 

"D-do you like it?" Seonghwa can't help but ask. Even if your body obviously shows the great amount of pleasure you're in, he needs to hear it from your own mouth. 

You nod manically, hair getting in your face. "So much. I like it so much, Hwa."

The praise gets to his head, and cock, more than Seonghwa would like to admit. It's all too much for him, your breathy moans, the way Jongho plays with your pretty tits, your covered cunt displayed in front of him. He licks his lips again, looking up to the man squeezing those perfect breasts. "Can I lick her?"

You throw your head back at the question. You know the type of tongue he has, the length, how pink it is. Even if you don't have the energy to speak, you beg Jongho with your batting eyes. Your boyfriend looks between to two of you before signing defeatedly, "Just keep her underwear on."

It's Seonghwa's nose you feel first. The tip of it brushing against your clit while his lips run over your swollen ones. They're so warm, so soft even if your underwear is in the way. He lets his bottom teeth graze over your cunt, making you squeal.

His burning tongue finally laps over your slit. Starting from the bottom, and going up. You sob, both in frustration and desire. It feels good, more than you could have ever thought was possible. But that thin layer of fabric gets in the way of you really feeling it. Feeling Seonghwa's salvia mix with your arousal, his tongue raw on your cunt. 

"Seonghwa please," you beg. "Take it off. I need to feel you."

Jongho pulls one hand away from your breasts before you feel it connect again rather harshly. You cry out at the slap, but he gives you no time to recover. He digs his fingers into your tender flesh to hear you weep more. 

"Didn't I say that's not allowed?" He questions you with a tut. "What a waste. I was gonna let him make you cum too."

"No!" You feel your eyes welling with tears. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! It was an accident, Jongho, please. I didn't mean it I swear." You try and apologize your way out of it. But Jongho's grip doesn't let up. He smacks your breast again, pretending to act as though he's disappointed.

"And you're lying to me. I don't think you're a good girl after all."

The sob that wrecks through you is genuine. It even makes Seonghwa stop to look at you, making sure you're not truly in distress. There's a soft look in his eyes, somewhat pitiful. He looks up at Jongho who only looks down at him. "If you let her cum, I won't let you play with her again," he threatens. 

That's enough to make Seonghwa obey. He gives you a sheepish look, "Sorry."

His muted kisses resume, this time harder. It seems like Seonghwa enjoys the idea of teasing you, even if he has a false look of sincerity. All you can do is try and ride his beautiful face before he pulls away at the last second. He watches you vibrate with ruined orgasms, watches those tears fall down your reddened cheeks, and looks at how your boobs begin to bruise with Jongho's fingers. 

You don't know how long it lasts, you don't even know if the sopping arousal between your thighs is really from you due to the sheer amount. But you do know that when Seonghwa leaves for the night with a throbbing tent in his pants, Jongho still won't let you cum.

And he'll make you wear that underwear for the rest of the day.

a/n: first long ateez fic whhaaa kinda nervous about ittttt, tell me how you liked ittt (hopefully)

[sebscore]

Came from ur fem!driver HCs and now I have ideas:

- The origin story of George’s ‘Russy Bussy’ nickname🤣

- Y/N hazing Oscar, Nyck and Logan in Abu Dhabi because as Valterri says, ✨traditions✨

- Y/N and Pierre gossiping abt Piastrigate w/ Yuki, Zhou and Charles (cuz oh my lordy-ord THE DRAMAFEST that was the summer break and Seb’s retirement😭)

THE ORIGIN OF RUSSY BUSSY

pairing: george russell x driver!reader / alex albon x driver!reader / lando norris x driver!reader

warnings: the word “bussy” 😭

author's note: i mean everything you need to know is in the title :) yes, this is a reference to that one eric name tweet from 2019! tysm to the anon for the requests!!

• • • • • • •

''Did you see what George tweeted earlier?'' Alex asked her while they waited for the rest of the grid to arrive at the driver's briefing.

Y/N shook her head. ''No, why?''

Alex simply chuckled and pulled out his phone, opening the Twitter app and typing in George's username. He laughed once again, before showing the tweet in question to her.

GeorgeRussell63: New race week! Let's get busssy everyone!

Y/N's jaw dropped, in shock that the Brit actually had posted that on his official and very public Twitter account. ''You know for a guy that likes to correct my grammar, he sure does make a lot of spelling mistakes.''

''I don't think he's realized yet what it means.'' The Williams driver told her, putting his phone back in his pocket.

''Hey, guys.'' Lando took the seat next to his female friend, sighing as he sat down. ''What are you two talking about?''

''George's bussy.''

The three bursted out laughing, gathering some confused looks from the other drivers in the room. Lando seemed to immediately understand what they were referring to.

''I thought I was the only one that noticed.'' He said, trying to calm himself down.

''I was gonna tweet something back at him, but I didn't want people to make fun of the fact that I know what it means.'' Alex explained.

Lando and Y/N nodded at his words, understanding that fans can remember these things for years to come. ''I wanna see his face the moment he finds out what it means.'' She said, rubbing her hands together like a villain would when creating their masterplan.

''Me too, it's gonna be hilarious, our Russell George.''

''Should we let him figure it out on his own or do we tell him?'' Alex asked, debating if they should explain the meaning to him.

Y/N shook her head. ''He should figure it out on his own, maybe with a bit of our help though.'' The mischief in her eyes didn't go unnoticed by Lando and Alex, the two already started to grin.

As if on queue, George and Lewis walked into the room, and briefly greeted everyone. George was about to sit down next to Sebastian, but he was quickly interrupted from doing that.

''Hey, Russy Bussy! Come sit with us!'' Y/N called him over, a teasing smirk present on her face.

The nickname caused some stifled laughter in the room, particularly from Pierre, Daniel, Lando and Alex. Meanwhile George awkwardly looked around as he made his way over to them.

''Hi, guys.'' He sat down next to Alex, a puzzled look on his face.

Lando briefly took a glimpse at Y/N before speaking. ''You guys are later than usual, you had a bussy morning?'' He asked, trying his best to not start cackling.

''Yeah, we had to film something with the team…'' George hesitantly answered, totally unaware what they were laughing about. ''Why are you saying busy like that?'' He asked the younger guy, putting his hand on his waist.

''Oh, isn't that how you say it?'' Alex said, feigning innocence. ''Yeah, or tweet it.'' Y/N added, having too much fun teasing the Mercedes driver.

''I can't follow, guys.'' George was visibly running out of patience with the teasing.

''Oh, crikey! He doesn't know what we are talking about.'' Y/N mimicked George's speech, continuing the mocking.

Alex was the one to cave in first. ''We're talking about your latest tweet, Russell.''

''What about it?'' He obviously still hadn't realized what had been so wrong with his spelling of the word 'busy'.

''You still don't know?'' Lando said wide-eyed, surprised George still hadn't been made aware of the entire thing.

''Know what?''

Lando and Alex turned to Y/N, pleading with their eyes that she explains it to him. She rolled her eyes, but succumbed.

''In your tweet it sounded like you said 'bussy' instead of 'busy', and let's say the two words have completely different meanings.'' She clarified.

George nodded, understanding the fault he made. ''Okay… then what does it mean?''

''With 'bussy' you're referring to a man's, uh, anus.''

They could see the gears turning in George's head, starting to comprehend why he received the reactions he did to what he assumed was a normal tweet. He had given the internet another reason to clown him for an entire season.

''Oh, good heavens!''

''But hey! Look at it from the bright side, your gay fans must be very happy right now!''

[bobtheacorn]

I've decided your tags on that post about Leo not being anyone's favorite brother are the only take I will be accepting from here on out. Galaxy brained and honestly very in character for all of them lol.

tags from this: #leo is actually Everyone's favorite brother they just all insist that he isn't bc he would be Insufferable if he found out #april asking 'whos your favorite bro' in pre-lair game interviews and don mike and raph instinctively going #'leo - WAIT I MEAN [other brother]' April being like Mhm *writing that down*. donnie makes her sign an nda

Thanks I made myself sad about it actualy dslfkjskldf

-

"Who's your favorite brother?" April asks.

Mikey answers at once, cheerfully:

"Leo." He realizes what he's said as soon as it's out of his mouth, while April is gleefully jotting the answer down on her interview notepad, her phone balanced in her other hand, recording an audio file for redundancy's sake; Mikey looks at her pleadingly, clapping both hands together. "Don't tell 'im I said that, April! I'll never live it down! Especially with the Games comin' up!"

"My lips are sealed!" she promises.

-

"Who's your favorite brother?"

"Leo," Raph says - and then laughs nervously when he actually processes the question, slumping back on the bench and folding his arms like he's trying to hide something, avoiding eye contact, "I mean! Mikey! No, no - Donnie! I mean - Raph loves all of his brothers equally…!"

"I didn't ask which one you loved more," April clarifies with amusement, rolling her eyes, "I asked which one's ya favorite. Big difference!"

"Raph doesn't have favorites," Raph asserts, "And if he did, it definitely wouldn't be Mister Always Rubs His Five Years of Victory in Our Faces!"

"Uhuh," April says, circling something in her notebook.

-

"Donnie, who's your favorite brother?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that anything I say can be used against me - "

"Donnie. This is a for-fun Pre-Lair Games interview."

".....Are our answers confidential?"

"Exclusively for my eyes only! I'm not gonna publicly display your answers on the fridge or anything."

"Sigh. Obviously it's Leo." Obviously, April thinks, trying to suppress her fond smile so Donnie doesn't see it and suddenly become allergic to his own Emotions. She busies herself with her notebook while Donnie pushes back and forth in his gamer chair, fingers steepled in front of him like a super villain. "He has the most consistent pro-to-con ratio, if only marginally - though that is subject to change in the next month, what with the Lair Games coming up."

"Obviously," April says, waving a hand.

Donnie narrows his eyes at her.

-

"Who's your favorite brother?"

"Aha, a trick question," Leo says smugly, "You'll have to get up earlier in the day to pull that one over on ole Leon."

"I'm not pullin' anything," April laughs.  "I'm askin' all you guys the same questions! Just tryin' t'think of some fun little headliners for the interviews and stuff, y'know? All in good fun. Now answer the question!"

"Uuh-huh. Well, it depends on the day of the week, I guess," Leo evades, shrugging.

He's playing with some fidget toy in his lap, allowing it to distract him. April is perched on the arm of the chair beside him, so she can't see his face. She folds one of her legs over the other, notepad balanced on her thigh while she taps out a rhythm with the mechanical pencil.

She can't help but tease him.

"Wanna guess who said Leo was their fav?"

She's not really gonna tell him. (That would break her NDAs.) And what it would do to his ego, she doesn't like to think - but she expects him to guess correctly, anyway. She's fully prepared to brush him off and play a little game of as if. But Leo chuckles and braces his feet on the opposite arm of the chair, pushing his shell briefly back into April's side, and says brightly, "Oh I guarantee you, I am nobody's fav. I'm too magnificent! They hate me cuz they ain't me."

Now that catches April off guard.

"Excuse me?"

Leo curls the fidget toy into his palm to touch his fingers, counting off, "Raph and Donnie both probably picked Mikey - and who can blame them, he's got all of us wrapped around his adorable little baby brother fingers. But if they picked each other, it's because Donnie actually shows up the most for Raph's missions because he loves having a Schedule, and because Raph always lets Donnie infodump at him because he likes listening to someone talk. And I know Mikey picked Donnie, because Raph always tries to smother-hen him."

"Uhuh," April says, uncertain about how she's feeling right now. This was supposed to be for laughs, but she's not laughing. Sharply, she adds, "Are you playin' with me right now?"

"I would never!" Leo says, scandalized by the very idea. He flicks the fidget toy so it swirls between his fingers, and he chuckles. "But I'm gonna play those losers like a Kazoo during the next Lair Games! What's the next question, Apricot??"

April taps her eraser against the notebook.

She doesn't have one ready.

.

[the1975attheirverybest]

what about matty sitting down with reader to talk about how he may need some help mentally. (like where he pulled out that pill on that interview) like discussing it with her. they both take it very seriously. and reader is very supportive and caring

I didn't want to diagnose him over the internet or get into details cuz that's his business and obviously l'm not a psychiatrist or anything. So l've left this a bit vague out of respect for him, the mental health profession, and anyone else who might struggle with these . But here's a lil something. To everyone who relates to this. You got this. You matter. I love you and I’m here for you!

——

"Can I just ask one question?" She looks at him, nervously, playing with the sleeve of her shirt. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Matty's eyes widen, "what?! No! What on earth gave you that idea!'

"Well, you've been saying you wanna talk. And that it's important. And that we need to do it in private...so..?”

"No, god, no! Babe-“ he kisses her, a bit too eagerly, as if to communicate through his touch, how badly he wants her around. "You, might, though....once- emm-listen-" he pulls away, looking down at his feet and trying to remember the words of the speech he had rehearsed in his head a thousand times leading up to this moment. Right now, though, nothing comes to mind.

“I think- I feel like- I want-“ he starts several times, trying to find the right words. The right thoughts. To put them all together in a coherent order, but he's absolutely lost.

She his his hands trembling so she reaches out to hold them in hers, squeezing gently to get his attention. “Hey,” she smiles, clearly unsure of where this was going, but having every faith that, whatever it is, she’d be there with him. “It’s me, Matty. You can talk to me.”

“Yeah, yeah- I know. I just- don’t quite have the right words. Help me?” He looks up at her, briefly, before his eyes dart away again. But even in that quick glance, she knew she saw fear.

“Okay, why don’t we start with the basics. What’re you feeling, right now?”

Matty thought about her question for a moment but he couldn’t come up with a real answer. “Well, I think-“

“Nope. You’re doing this all wrong. I said feeling! Not thinking. If you’re thinking, it’s already too late.”

“What do you want me to do, then?” He yelled, frustrated.

“how about this, umm, close your eyes.”

“What?” He almost laughed, shaking his head.

“Just trust me! Close your eyes!”

“That sounds dumb, I’m not doin’ that…” he shifted in his seat uncomfortably, crossing his legs.

“Fuckin trust me. Close your eyes, NOW!!”

Begrudgingly, he did as she said, wishing he could roll his eyes instead. “Okay, so, now what?”

“Now, breathe. Take a deep breath.”

“You’re not tryna trick me into meditating, are you? Cuz I told you, that hippie shit isn’t-“

“Shut up for a second! Will you? Breathe, Matty. Okay….you can’t see me. You can’t look at me. You can’t think about me or how I’ll react. I’m not even here! Alright! It’s dark. It’s you. Just you and your thoughts. Think out loud. Go ahead…speak!”

“Well, umm- okay, I- I feel helpless. Stuck. Like, uhh- like I can’t move past this - this wall of- apathy. It makes me feel out of control. Shitty. Yeah, shitty…that’s what it feels like! Like, I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow and be able to function, or if I’ll be so consumed with….with….I don’t know despair that I’ll struggle to get out of bed. Like, I don’t care anymore. About shit I should care about! - shit this dumb trick of yours actually works- like I want to quit. Everything just feels too heavy and too much, and it’s pointless, like why am I even trying if I can’t get anywhere? Why do I bother? If I can’t rely on myself how can I expect others to rely on me, you know?”

He finally paused. Having run out of thought, run out of words, and suddenly feeling breathless. Whatever courage or impulse had helped him speak was now drained. Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking away the blur and adjusting to the light again. He could finally see her, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Well, say something, please.” He whispered.

She gave him a nervous smile. “I will, I- umm, I’m just thinking.”

Matty nodded. ���Okay, okay…thinking’s good. It’s good to think….could you think faster please?”

She knew this was an important moment, both for him personally, and for their relationship. Matty had thought this through. He always did. Everything he ever says is carefully considered. Even when having spontaneous conversations, you can always see the gears turning in his mind as he offers an opinion or considers different options. So, he’s likely been thinking about this for a while. Wondering whether to bring it up at all, or to keep it to himself. She wanted to offer him the same level of care and consideration. To let him know she took this as seriously as he does.

“Okay, so, first of all- I just- I love you, Matty. And, I’m glad you’re talking to me about this.”

Matty smiled and nodded giving her the courage to keep going.

“Would it be alright if I asked you some questions?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“How- how long have you felt this way?”

“Long enough.” He responded without missing a beat. “I mean, this isn’t something that I just woke up with. Not even something I’ve felt for a week or two. Honestly…I can’t remember a time when I haven’t felt this way.”

She felt her heartbreak as he spoke, but she didn’t want to make this moment about her or her sadness, so, setting aside these unprocessed feelings, she carried on reading carefully. “Why- now? I mean, what’s changed then?”

“Like, why am I telling you this now? Well, I think…I think my whole life has been about trying to deal with this feeling. Everything I’ve ever done- with my relationships, with sex, with religion, or lack thereof I should say, with drugs - and we both know how that went- and music, and- everything. it’s all been about trying to mediate this feeling, control it, get rid of it. I think…it’s time to try something different. You know?”

She nodded, relief washing over her. “Okay, that- umm- makes sense to me. Did you have something in mind?”

“Yeah, actually. Think I wanna see a psychiatrist, or something.”

“Mhm, that sounds like a good idea.” She tried to keep her excitement to herself for the time being, giving him the space to express his feelings first. “Can I ask, have you ever been to therapy?”

“Off and on. Haven’t really stuck with it, but, you know, back then….I was on smack and stuff.”

She wanted to say that he should give it another shot, but she knew she was smart enough to draw that conclusion on his own, so she simply nodded, signaling that she understood.

“Probably should try it again, shouldn’t I?” He read her mind, making her giggle.

“I mean, if you want to! It’s okay if that feels like a lot right now. One step at a time.”

“Right.”

“Matty? Can I hug you?”

“Only, if you’ll also kiss me.”

She chuckled, jumping right into his lap and wrapping her arms around him, giving him a sweet, comforting kiss. when he pulled away for a breath, she laid her head on his shoulder, breathing him in. “ I’m gonna say a thing-“

“No- please don’t. I know what you’re gonna say and- just- no.”

“I’m gonna say it. And don’t squirm like a worm. Just, listen, okay? I’m proud of you. I really am. You’re growing up, Matty. That’s hard to do. You’re taking care of yourself, and- fuck, now I’m crying.” She swiped her hand across her face quickly, wiping the tears away. “You’ve been through so much, and you haven’t let it dim your soul. I think that deserves some acknowledgment. You’re too fucked up to accept it, but it’s true. I’m proud of you. And I love you. And I’m with you every step of the way. However long it takes.”

“Stop talking and kiss me again.”

[moonlight-tmd]

okay, I was just scrolling through my feed and came across angst for the bees in transformers who lost their voices. (TFP, KV, CV, etc)

now let's apply that to TFA and see how bee becomes a shell of himself due to it. I've read fics about it (two) and I wanna know your take on it

Boy they really like to give him that angst do they...

Well, i did read those fics and unfortunatelly, i am a weak weak bitch and cannot take his beautiful voice away(for too long).

I think he would get injured- it's probably Starscream cuz i like the idea of him being a sadist, his voicebox gets ripped and crushed, leaving him mute.

Bee would be so devastated- he tries to talk, scream, anything. There is nothing but painful static.

The others- sure, sometimes they wished Bee would just shut up and stay quiet but they never meant it. And now they are forced to watch as Bee essentially becomes depressed. He can't eat solid foods so he's bound to drinking oil and liquid energon. He almost stopped interacting with others because it's so difficult to let them know what he wants to say; charades are too confusing and writing signs is too slow. All is left of his cheerful attitude is a tiny smile he offers sometimes when he and the others (are trying to)have fun.

Sentinel is the worst, he is oddly untouched at the scout's misery. He straight up says it's good that he shut up when he's not around. Optimus has ended whatever was left of his friendship with Sentinel long ago, but it seems like Sentinel never acknowledged Optimus saying anything- like he's above what the failure of a Prime is saying to him.

They are stuck like this- Bee hanging on by a thread that is threatening to snap at any moment and the others desperately trying to hold onto Bee and help him out of this Pit.

Bee is crafty so one time a radio breaks and he tried to fix it. Static spills over garbled words whenever he's trying to tune it, it remind his of something... He fixed it at last, the static briefly present whenever the channel is switched and songs or radio news play, tuning in and cutting sentences, almost making a new one- That gives Bee an idea.

He spend a a whole week trying to get his own radio to obey him. The others are so surprised when Bee answers one of their questions with cut up song lyrics and words from the radio, but they are very happy- Bee has started to look up, slowly but surely. The amount of relief they felt when Bee used the laughting sound effects to mimic his own laugh. He's still sad that it's not his own voice, but that is the closest he can do.

I imagine it was Longarm that took mercy on the scout- they were good friends, Longarm had grown fond of Bee as a friend. It hurt him to see Bee so sad- just like in boot camp when Wasp tormented him. So- Longarm, being the Data Master, steals Bee's medical info and other stuff and contacts Swindle about it. He has everything- parameters, size, settings, type, even various voice samples from when he and Bee talked to find the perfect voicebox to replace his missing one. Bee might have infected Longarm with his stubbornness cuz he's determined to make Bee talkative again.

Longarm comes to Ratchet and gives him the necessary parts and materials to fix Bee, he avoid any questions like 'where did you get this?' and leaves. Ratchet assumes it because he's a Prime with connections.

Bee has to force-refresh his processor to comprehend what Ratchet just said to him. He goes under a surgery and it's succesful.

He could not stop crying, his voice was back. Primus he wanted to say so many things but this was so ovewhelming he couldn't stop ugly sobbing.

The whole day he said everything that was on his mind- i mean everything. No filter to separate his thoughts from what he wanted to actually say, he spilled so much answering questions and how he felt the others didn't know if they were trembling from happiness or the sheer worry about the minibot.

After that, whenever Bee is annoying, the moment they want to say 'shut up' or something like that, they get flashbacks to when Bee was mute. They never told him to shut up ever again- instead they try to manouver their situation to make Bee go do his own thing and leave them to do that important thing they were doing.

To say the least, that situation was traumatizing to all of them.

And of course, Bee couldn't help but tackle-hug Longarm and repeat 'thank you' over and over again the next time he visited.

[gachabastard]

Never saw ur ask box before lol I’m stupid.

ANYWAY u briefly mentioned that u don’t draw - is it just because you’ve never tried it or because of something else? If u don’t mind questions like this of course I’m just curious.

P. S. I’m also really interested in tooth brush story. If you don’t mind [x2].

lol I don't mind questions at all, if I ever get a question I'm not comfortable with I'll just. either ignore it or just outright say "I don't really wanna answer that"

I've tried to draw since I was really young, I've tried a variety of ways to try and learn basic figure drawing and perspective and stuff, I can envision those things in my mind, but when it comes to actually trying to put that on paper, I just can't make it work. Something gets lost in translation between the fucked up electrical impulses in my brain and the movement of my hands. I don't know if my non-descript neurological disorder has anything to do with this but it's the best excuse I've got. Usually when I say "I have a neurological disorder" people go "oh dear oh no" and then drop the subject real quick lmao

Anyway, by the "toothbrush story" I assume you mean "that time in high school I stopped brushing my teeth because I thought it was killing me?" I'll put that below a cut since this ask has gotten long enough.

So basically in high school my mental health bloomed from just being A Nuisance But Ultimately Easy to Work Around to being An Active Hinderance Interfering With My Day to Day Life. I was having multiple panic attacks a day, but I didn't know that's what was happening to me at the time. All I knew is I felt like I was dying, so obviously I was dying.

I couldn't sleep most nights since I would wake up in the middle of the night having a panic attack so I started drinking Nyquil to put myself to sleep at night, which I already talked about. Stopped doing that after awhile cuz I built up a bit of a tolerance. Of course I was still having panic attacks though so I had to figure out what else I could do about it.

So I'm sitting there racking my brain like "so what's making me feel this way?" and I think like. I always seemed to feel worst when I was going to sleep and then in the middle of the night. So I was like "Okay what do I always do before going to bed?" and the answer of course was that I would always brush my teeth before bed. Yknow. As you should.

So I just stopped. Brushing my teeth. Brushing my teeth, I had decided, was slowly poisoning and killing me. And a lot of people would be like, "Ah, you got got by the 'fluoride is poison' hoax" but no, I didn't even know that was a thing. It wasn't even toothpaste that I decided was the problem but the whole act of brushing teeth.

And it actually...kinda worked? In the sense that I was so deluded into needing to believe any of this was within my own control that I actually did feel a bit better. Of course, not brushing your teeth means your mouth gets very nasty and now I have a lot of expensive dental problems I need taken care of, I've already had two teeth removed and I have another broken one that needs removing too since there's just. Not enough there to fill. Even with dental insurance though dental work is SUPER expensive >_<

So the moral of the story is. If something feels wrong...it is, but actually seek professional help or at least tell someone you can trust about it instead of trying to aggressively and wrongfully self-medicate, because you're gonna do a bad job, especially if you're a teenager with like zero agency. Also take good care of your mouth. Invest in a good electric toothbrush and learn how to properly brush your teeth. And floss.

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Truth or Dare | Kim Seungmin

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: hi I did this instead of everything else I was supposed to do and I think it's really cute and I love Seungmin and I hope you like it

"Cmon y/n, when will you confess to Seungmin?" Your friend, Kate taunted you again. She has been on your case ever since you filled her in on your little crush. She only knows that you've liked him since freshman year, but really it's been since like 7th grade. "It's senior year, what's the worst that could happen if you confess? You move away in a few months and never have to experience the awkwardness of seeing each other everyday? How awful." You don't laugh at her joke, so Kate takes that as a sign that it's time to change the subject. "Well, yknow how my birthday is in like 2 weeks. My mom is letting me have a party with my friends and she won't even have to be there to supervise. Since I'll be an adult and all!" She emphasizes adult as if being 18 suddenly makes her mature.

"Sounds great, Kate," you rhyme. You're hardly paying attention because something, or rather someone, caught your attention. "I'll see you after class," and then you're off to math while Kate had biology. She definitely noticed how hard you were staring at Seungmin while she was talking with you. Of course, you know nothing of what's to come.

~

"Hey! Felix!"

"What's up, Kate?" Felix was friends with Seungmin and some other boys. He also tended to be seen with Kate. Most people just assumed they were dating, and maybe they were, not even they know for sure.

"I'm having a birthday party next weekend and you and your friends are invited! Especially Seungmin." She adds a wink with the last statement.

"Will Miss y/n be there?"

"Of course. Why do you think I'm specifying for Seungmin?"

"It's so painfully obvious that he likes her so why can't he make a move already?!"

"Y/n is no different," Kate admits. "That's why I have a plan."

~

"H-hey y/n, " Seungmin stutters as he sits in his seat next to you.

"Oh, hi," you manage to reply, blush evident throughout your face.

"Um, did you get number 27 on the homework? I was super confused."

"Yeah, the equation for that one is different than the others because..." you explained the concept to Seungmin while he stared at your face unbeknownst to you. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes. I get it now!" He smiles and you actually die. You caught a glance at his homework to see number 27 done correctly but you were to affected by his smile to put two and two together.

~

All the days seemed to be same, passing by until it was finally Kate's birthday party. Obviously you went super early to help her set up. There was no alcohol allowed since her mom said she would let her throw it all by herself under that one condition, not that Kate would ever underage drink anyway we are good children here.

Kate left to answer the door as you pulled some cookies out of the oven. "Kate! Happy birthday!" You heard Felix's voice ring through the entryway. You weren't surprised she invited him, but then you heard more voices.

"Your house looks really nice."

"Happy birthday, Kate."

"Where should I put this gift?" Your eyes widened. You could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Kate! Can you come here for a moment?" You shouted for her.

"What's up, buttercup? Are the cookies okay?"

"I can't believe you invited Seungmin. Bro, I thought we were cool." You overreacted.

"Chill, y/n, all his friends are here, along with our friends. There's so many people, don't even worry about it." She tries to reassure you.

"Well... do I at least look okay?" You ask shyly.

"Look fine to me." You jump at the boy's voice. "But I suppose I'm not the one you want to look good for."

"Jisung, you scared the crap out of me," Kate smiles as you nearly died of embarrassment. Had he heard your whole conversation?

"No. Only the last part." He answers. It's only then that you realize you asked that out loud. You face palmed with bright red cheeks as more boys filed into the kitchen.

~

"Now that everyone is here, let's get this party started!" Kate announces as she turns on some speakers and blasts some upbeat music. She and Felix dance on the coffee table while everyone else is jumping around on the couches and dancing on the floor. The mess of people was starting to become overwhelming when you felt someone push you from behind. Unluckily, you fell directly into Seungmin's arms.

"Wow. Falling for me this early in the night. I hate to say I'm not surprised, y/n," Seungmin says in a low tone. "I'm just kidding," he quickly adds when he sees your eyes bulging out of your head.

"Oh, yeah. Right! Haha! So sorry I fell into you. There are so many people."

"Since I have you here, wanna dance?" He smiles again. How could anyone say no to his perfect smile?

"I'm sorry what was that?" He looks confused, like a puppy.

"I said yes!" You lie trying to cover up your thoughts that you must've spoken out loud, again. You and Seungmin begin to jump around, laughing. Kate gives you a knowing look which you return with a glare. Little did you know Felix and Seungmin were in the same boat.

~

"What else do you have planned?" Felix asks sounding very rehearsed.

"Hmm. Why don't we play truth or dare?!" Kate suggests. That was not on the schedule you had for the night's events. You knew something bad was going to happen when Kate smiled your way.

Everyone sat criss cross applesauce in a circle and Jisung volunteered to start. "Minho, truth or dare?"

"Dare." The boy responds with a brave look in his eye.

"I dare you to," he pauses, thinking of something good, "do a sexy dance for everyone."

"Pff. Okay." Minho continues to grind on the ground, not minding the looks he's getting at all. In fact, Jisung had to stop him, because it was getting too out of hand too quickly.

"I didn't dare you to strip, MinHOE!"

"Whatever, you know you liked it," he teased back. "Hmm let's see. Kate, truth or dare?"

"Uh, I'll pick truth."

"Do you like Felix?"

She furrows her eyebrows together, looking confused. "Felix and I are dating. So, to clarify, yes I like him very much." Everyone is so lost as to how they hadn't known that the two were official. I mean, y'all obviously could see that they liked each other duh. "Felix, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He adds a wink to Kate.

"I dare you to kiss me." The crowd shouts a bunch of ews and grosses as Felix briefly pecks Kate's lips.

He turns to Seungmin with a devilish look. "Seungmin, truth or dare?"

He must not have been paying attention yeah cuz he was admiring you face again whore because he is completely oblivious to the grin on Felix's face right now. "Why not? Dare."

"I dare you to kiss y/n" Felix sticks his tongue out at Seungmin as everyone turns to look at you. You tried so hard to keep your face from looking like a tomato but you knew it was no use. Seungmin gulped as he stared at you.

"I- I can't." His words made you frown without thinking. "Y/n, should have a say in this too. I can't just kiss her without her consent," he elaborates.

"Fine then," Felix speaks again. "I dare you to go up to Kate's room alone with y/n. Anything you two might do in there is all up to both of your consents." Felix smirks at you and then back to Seungmin. You both kept eye contact as you stood to head to your friend's bedroom. There were lots of hoots and hollers following you two as you made your way up the stairs with faces painted with crimson shades.

~

You both sat on Kate's bed. You face was on fire even more now because he was so close. When I mean close,, like your legs were nearly /touching/. And you can't handle being so /close/ to your big phat crush. However, the feeling seemed somewhat mutual for Seungmin.

"Do you like me?" You squeaked out. It was completely random and Seungmin even flinched slightly at the sound of your voice.

"..." the boy stayed silent and you refused to meet his gaze.

"ohmygosh that was so rude of me to just ask. I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything." You began to get up to walk away when he grabbed your wrist.

"Do you- like me?"

"..." it was your turn to mimick the silence you'd not heard moments earlier.

"Did we both not say anything for the same reason?" You opened your mouth to respond when the door opened, revealing Jeongin.

"I was told to come make sure you two weren't doing anything," he narrows his eyes on Seungmin, "gross." You both sat there like deer in head lights. Jeongin looked at your hand and then back at Seungmin. You hadn't noticed that Seungmin's and your pinkies had been laced until Jeongin's judgy stare pointed it out. "Also, you are both welcome to rejoin the party." The younger boy smiled and walked back down the stairs without a care in the world.

~

"Wow look who's back," Jisung announced. "You two didn't have too much fun did you?"

"Don't be icky!" Jeongin defended you. "They weren't even talking to one another when I walked in. But- they were basically holding hands!"

"Not true! He's lying!" Seungmin shouts back. You laugh, looking down to see that you, in fact still had your pinkies intertwined. You broke away and returned to your seat to continue the game.

"Anyway, it's my turn," Hyunjin claims. "Seungmin, truth or dare?"

"Me already again?" He looks a bit freaked out before taking a breath and choosing, "truth."

"Wrong choice, buddy. Do you like y/n?"

He makes deliberate eye contact with you as he answers the question. "Yes. Y/n, pick truth."

"Truth." Everything was happening so quick, you didn't have time to react to what Seungmin was even saying before you responded.

"Do I have your consent this time?" It took a moment for you to figure out what he meant. When you put together that he was asking if he could kiss you, you shook your head quickly. He wasted no time before softly pressing his lips to yours. They were sweet like honey and warm and soft and you thought you could get lost in the moment forever. That is, until he pulled away. It was much to soon for your liking, until you remembered where you were. You both looked around to see everyone's jaws dropped in shock. You timidly smiled and your friends began to cheer. They were soon followed by Seungmin's friends screaming, Jeongin in particular.

Needless to say, you remember very little of what happened after that moment at the party. All you do know is that your friends set you up and Seungmin's friends set him up and now you two are in love. Senior year sure was going to be interesting.