#i did leave a mychart message about the payment issue but suspect I'll have to deal with her office directly on that

[randomactsofpigeon]

/rant

So I started seeing a psychologist due to all the IVF stress.  And OMG.  I have only had two appts and I’m going to cancel the third I have scheduled and look for someone else.  Not only is she expensive as fuck, I prepaid both previous appts and her office is billing me WITHOUT applying those prepayments.  The appt scheduler says 45 min, she told me the appts are actually 38 min.  She ends them right on time but is 2-3 minutes late every time and then tells me she wasn’t late.  These are virtual appts, the clock is literally RIGHT THERE on my phone, lady--do you think I can’t read???

And the care is just crap.  Like I get that it’s two sessions in and I don’t expect miracles.  But she has no fucking idea what to do with me.  If it’s not depression (and it’s not, I was depressed for 20 years, I fucking know what depression is and isn’t for me) she’s just like, helpless.  She has no experience with neurodivergence and I spend way too much of each session educating her.

She also is clearly restraining herself from faith-based care because apparently I’m the odd patient out who doesn’t want that.  She was specifically recommended by my IVF clinic so I can only imagine the wave of religious bullshit she’s used to spouting to smooth out hopeless women wrestling with infertility, or the number of women who have gone away unhelped but believing that’s just what therapy is because they have no prior experience of therapy.  She’s not unkind; she’s well-meaning just fucking useless at her job.  Like if you’re not a sad person being denied your life ambition of centering your whole identity around being a mom, if that’s not what infertility means to you, looking for a vial of pills and some Jesus-pats on your head about god has everything planned, she doesn’t know what to do.  She just doesn’t Get Me on any level whatsoever.

But the cherry on top?  I went to cancel today and you can’t cancel online.  Fine, I call the number, expecting to leave a message.  I’m 80% certain the number listed in MyChart IS NOT THE RIGHT NUMBER and there’s no voicemail option.  Fuck my life.

Guess I get to play phone tag on Monday.  I don’t normally leave reviews for physicians but damn am I tempted in this case.