#i couldn't resist asdfkaksdf. sorry for the drabble uvu ))

[crimsonfacets]

"alt!"

Send me “alt!” and I’ll introduce you to a character I’ve rped in the past, want to play in the future or are currently playing somewhere else!

There was no one in the kitchen, yet a dark figure suddenly walked by the doorway in Dib's peripheral, a breeze clipping his hair and ear to solidify the fact that something did just pass. Peeking back in, he'd see that someone was in the kitchen: a woman, decked in all black with only hints of a dusty mauve cuffing her collar and the long sleeves of her dress. Her hair was weirdly familiar.. Gaz? No. No way. It couldn't be. Gaz was paler, and her hair was way shorter than this. Also, Gaz was a kid, not an ADULT.

"Foodio has made your coffee, ma'am." And Foodio 3000 just rolled up to her like she wasn't a total STRANGER who broke into the house, not whipping out Mega Membrane(tm) lasers and electric taser buzz saws, but instead whipping out hospitality by serving her a steamy mug of what smelled like super strong coffee. "Only one tea spoon of sugar, no milk. Just like [ PROFESSOR MEMBRANE PROGRAMMED INTO IMPORTANT MEMBRANE HOUSEHOLD FAMILY FAVORITES ]! I hope you enjoy it."

The woman appeared to be trying to keep quiet, glancing over her shoulder now and then with a squint, eyes actually open in comparison to how his little sister's always preferred a tight scowl. Same eye color as both of theirs, though. Gloved hands reached to grab for the coffee when Clembrane came bodyslamming through the wall into the poor food service bot, holding up a spoon.

"I GOT IT, HONEY!" He announced happily, wiggling it around in the woman's face. "You so clumsy, but that what so cuuuuUUUuuute about yoooou!" He cooed, rubbing fingers into the woman's quickly heated features as she twitched. Her brows popped. Dib could hear her growling.

"Yes, you did. Thank you... dear." She responded with a low tone of voice. A wispy, black tendril emerged from the shadows beneath her and wrapped around the spoon wiggled about in the air, flinging it from the clone and out the window. "Oh, poor me. I lost it again. What will I do without it. Oh no. I'm sad. Tragedy."

"!!!!" Clembrane whipped around and threw his bowl of fresh pudding to the side with a loud smash. "I'LL GET IT! DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD, NEESY DEESY!" BAM! Annnnd there was another hole in the kitchen as the enormous second father figure went bounding out again, car horns quickly emitting in the distance with the sound of crash.

The mug of coffee that should have sailed into oblivion with the recovering robot was instead frozen in the air, still steaming and untouched. The woman gripped it and inhaled the vapors deep, sighing with tension leaving her body. She murmured something to herself, an indiscernible bout of mumblings in Spanish with a few words in there that were definitely not appropriate for children's ears.. that was until her eyes flicked across the way and made contact with Dib's. She stopped in an instant.

Uh-oh. She was Aware of him now. What was going to happen?

.. Apparently, she was going to cross the kitchen and pull... oatmeal? Off the stove? What the heck is oatmeal doing there?? And mix it in a bowl that was nearby, throw in a few fruits with cinnamon and chocolate and bring it to him. She gave his head a few gentle pats and a ruffle while in the background, those weird eldritch tendrils stretched from shadows beneath the dinner table and sucked a black typewriter that he'd never seen before into its shade.

The woman fussed over his coat and fixed it, buttoning it up. "This needs to be buttoned, Dib. It's cold outside." Was she really bossing him around? Who the heck was she? How did she know his name?? Then she did something WEIRD.. She kissed him on the head! "You never seen me. I wasn't here. I need a break." She told him, hand cutting to the side of her face to block out the Clembrane-shaped holes in the wall before slipping past.

Blink.

Those holes weren't there anymore, and there was no debris all over the kitchen. Foodio was idle and in one piece, humming to himself as he charged in the wall socket. There was no pot on the stove or oat-smattered spatula. But, there was still the faint scent of that super black coffee in the air, and Dib would notice he was still holding a bowl of hot oatmeal in his hands, and his coat was still buttoned up. There was no sight of the woman though, even if he looked the house up and down, she just wasn't there. Foodio had no idea who he was talking about either when he asked.

Why did this stuff always happen to him when he had nothing to record it with!?!