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pcsvidcn-blog · 7 years ago

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do all of them for your fave xo

📖 for what my muse would write about yours in their diary.

❝ 15 june, 2017 01:27 a.m. pstmarin county. but they’re all starting to blur together, at this point. i know i should pay more attention, i’m not an idiot ( thought i can think of a few people who might disagree…. i digress ), but it’s like i look out into the crowds or glance around the room and there’s nothing to tell apart. should i be concerned about that ? dad’s already lost iz, he doesn’t deserve to lose both of his children, right ? does he ? am i being too naïve, too short-sighted, because it’s not as if any of his policies actually affect me ? i’m so tired of thinking. i just want to float endlessly in the sea. disappear while it’s dark and not come back.

04:52 a.m. psti think i figured it out. it’s iz. they started putting up a wall, not planks of wood but concrete too high to scale without being obvious, without holes to crawl through, between the public beach i used to go to all the time and the private club’s property further up the pch and all i can think is that that’s what’s going to happen to us. i’ll see her less and less and less and then i won’t see her at all. god. i don’t want that to happen. i don’t want to lose her. i don’t want to lose anyone but i especially can’t lose her. we’re always shared everything and i don’t know what it’s like to share nothing. i have to call her. i’m going to do that. as soon as we’re both awake. go down to the public beach and have drinks and go out as the tide comes in and find what lies under the tide pools.

05:00 a.m. pstdad and iz. the ocean and the shore. i don’t know how i can be torn in so many different directions at once and still survive. i know i can’t do it much longer. i need to decide. i need to be truthful with iz and dad and mom and myself for once in my goddamn life. i need to get this weight off me. i need to do something.

fuck, i need to sleep. ❞

📷 for what my muse would say to the paparazzi about yours.

❝ not funny. not even slightly. that’s my sister, that’s my family, take a moment and think about what you would feel if someone was screaming obscenities about your sister, or your brother, or your mom while all these lights are flashing in your face. just think about it. step back. i know you’d love to get pics of a gubernatorial candidate’s son swinging at you and you’d love for me to hit you or smash up your camera so you can sue, but that’s not going to happen. i’m going to ask you, politely, to never call izzie macnair that again, but if you cowards want to, say it to her face and see if you survive. ❞

💋 for what my muse would say to the person trying to woo your muse.

❝ you have to take it slow with izzie, there’s nothing she loves more than waiting for a relationship to grow. no dramatic gestures, no professions of love or anything like that. she hates surprises and she hates presents, you can’t get her anything, she wants to buy everything for herself and would probably stop answering your calls if you tried to buy her so much as dinner or flowers. it’s simple, really, think of all the things you think she would like, and then reverse it, because that’s how she works. doesn’t make sense ? do people ever make sense ? does anything ever make sense ? oh, one other thing, she loves long, long beards with crumbs stuck in them. she’s got a thing for them. ❞

17:04 jamie macnair 📲 lizard : some fool asked me for advice on ‘ wooing ’ you17:21 jamie macnair 📲 lizard : sorry if you actually liked them

🔪 for the eulogy my muse would give for yours.

❝ this is never a place where you want to be standing. it feels impossible to do my sister justice with words alone, which is one of the reasons why i wanted to speak to you all here, surrounded by one of her favourite things in the entire world, art, with the people she loved most, and maybe we can all feel the excitement and the joy and the love she felt standing in this gallery. when we were at our grandmother’s funeral when we were younger, someone told me ‘ funerals are for the living ’ for the first time. i was offended, then, because the day was clearly about my grandmother down to the hymns and verses chosen and the cathedral we sat in in boston, but i understand it now. we are the living. this is for us. and it is extraordinarily painful and i half-expect that she’s faked her own death to avoid some unwanted suitor or a rabid debt collector or because she’s going to make a performance art piece out of this movie — then she’ll really be dead, because i’ll kill her myself— but when i sit too long in silence i understand, too, that she has moved on no matter how much i loved her. and i want to celebrate her, and celebrate our lives with her, free from everything that can ever make a person suffer, unless she’s in hell, which is a very real possibility, and i want to remember her now. i want to tell every story i told her, every story she told me, every story we both starred in. i can’t promise i won’t break down, and i can’t promise i won’t run to the bathroom at some point and never come back, but i want to try. if you have something to say, please, please, come stand beside me, please tell us what you remember about her. ❞

💌 for a letter my muse would write to yours.

❝ 2 april, 2013 hey iz. so, this is hong kong. victoria harbour to be specific. i tried to find the postcard with the most pictures on it, but none of them could really capture how vibrant this city is, it’s so alive that if you stand still for even a moment you’re going to miss something. mom hates it, probably, but she grew up in boston, so does she even understand culture ? haha. i’m kidding. she’s reading this over my shoulder. we miss you so much ! but we hope you’re having fun without us. knowing you, you probably are. just try not to forget your dear old family, climbing mountains and eating the most amazing food in the world. two words: hawker fare. two more: dim sum. one more: noodles.

seriously, i think you and i are going to have to come back to hk ourselves, maybe backpack around asia, because i’d love to see thailand too. there’s this ngo in thailand i’ve been researching, i think you’d love it too, it’s for children who are victims of labour and sex trafficking, there are a bunch of homes for them scattered across cambodia and thailand and they always need volunteers. maybe in the summer? i’ll remind you later. and send a bunch of links, you can check it out for yourself.

i’m running out of space, but i love and miss you iz, you’re killing it and i’m so proud of you, i’ll see you in a few days ! expect for all three of us to crash the second we land. you might have a dead family for a few days. love you !!! jamie ❞

📫 for a letter my muse would write about yours to a third party.

❝ james macnair 12:11 pm (4 weeks ago)

hey dad—

quick note before you start writing your remarks for tonight.i talked to izzie. she doesn’t want anything to do with the rest of the campaign, and i think your time is wasted trying to get her back in. it probably looks better for you to have a politically split family in california, it draws in the liberal family vote you’ve been courting recently and could sway some of the more dead-set liberal voters if you let her say what she wants to say. ‘ more liberal by association ’, something like that.

see you really soon, dad. thanks, your son

the information contained in this e-mail message is intended only for the personal and confidential use of the recipient(s) named above. if you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by e-mail, and delete the original message.❞

📨 for a text my muse would send to yours.

23:44 jamie macnair 📲 lizard : iz, hear me out, come on.23:46 jamie macnair 📲 lizard : asmr is weird but this is actually really good, i fell asleep like four videos in. it’s just this japanese person ( we never see their face ) cooking with no background music or talking and it’s just really bizarrely calming. 19:46 jamie macnair 📲 lizard :https://youtu.be/3ATRf32cocg19:47 jamie macnair 📲 lizard : now, i do still love me some ocean sounds volume xiii, ….

💬 for a text my muse would send to yours to a third party.

14:08 jamie macnair 📲 [ PRIVATE] : so i was thinking we go all out, get a bunch of those gold balloons shaped like letters to spell out ‘ i z z i e ’ , i’ll probably have to buy two hundred bottles of chambord and moët, i haven’t decided on catering or whether i’ll just make everything myself but i think i can get shojin out for menu planning, obviously we have to have lots of flowers, i think there’s a place out in studio city of all place that’s known for their orchid arrangements. and venue, obviously, we need to nail down a venue as soon as possible. i’m thinking the house in hollywood hills. maybe. there’s also that estate in palisades that always feels like it’s haunted.14:18 jamie macnair 📲 [ PRIVATE] : is this too much ??? 14:20 [ PRIVATE ] 14:23 jamie macnair 📲 [ PRIVATE] : yeah, you’re right. cut the flowers. but i can still get a few bouquets right ???

💀 for what my muse would say upon hearing about your muse’s death.

❝ no. no, check again, you have to be wrong. i want to see someone else, i want someone else to check, let me check, please, just let me check, she was just— no. no, no, no. no. please don’t touch me. please. please just let me— i have to— no, no, i can’t, she isn’t gone. no. no. ❞

👪 for what my muse would say to your muse’s child about them.

❝ hi, baby. hi — yes, izzie, i have to be shirtless, it’s good for bonding, they do it in scandanavian hospitals— i’m going to be the coolest uncle ever, alright ? bonding early is a necessary part of that— lay off me, i’m trying to talk to my new best friend— that’s your mommy, we’re fighting. i think i just won. oh, baby, where do i even begin ? you’re so beautiful. wow, i. wow. i can’t believe you’re here. finally. you look just like your mommy too. i have so much to tell you, baby. let’s go over here, let’s let iz sleep, she worked hard. where do you want me to start ? all my sagest wisdom from these long years i’ve spent on earth ? your mom’s deepest secrets ? do you want to hear about your family ? i know. why don’t i sing you something, let’s sit down here.

i see trees of green, red roses too, i see them bloom for me and you, and i think to myself, what a wonderful world…. ❞

👊 for what my muse would say upon hearing yours has been arrested.

❝ how much is your bail ? i’ll do my best to keep mom and dad from finding out, but i can’t guarantee anything, iz. i’ll be right over, i’ve got to go get a lawyer from that firm dad has on retainer. don’t argue, i don’t have time to find you a nice liberal attorney, you’re in jail. i’m not even gonna ask what you’ve done this time, so don’t try and tell me, i don’t want to be an accomplice. was it for a good cause, at least ?❞

💒 for the toast my muse would give at your muse’s wedding.

❝ now, as most of you know, i’m izzie’s older brother. some might say ‘ twin ’, but i prefer ‘ older brother ’ because i was born almost a full hour before her and because fraternal twins share about the same amount of dna as ordinary siblings. i’m a doctor, i know these things. but, i have to confess, it would be a glaring omission if i kept ignoring ‘ twin ’. for the first few months of our existence were were packed in very small together, and once we were born, we just kept sharing everything. we shared rooms, even when our parents bought houses with more than enough of them, we shared friends, we shared toys, and, i think, we shared a soul, a heart. we still do, despite how drastically different we appear. i’m quieter than you, iz, and the fact that you probably want to argue about what i’m about to say just proves my point further. i leave a lot smaller mark. but when i’m passionate about something, my passion is as wide and infinite and deep as the pacific, it is the pacific, and there is only one other person in the world whose passion is like that too: my sister. you’re extraordinarily lucky to be the person she loves, and i hope you know that. if you don’t, i’m coming after you.

now, if i was to give you evidence of all of izzie’s passions, not just her new partner, we would be here for a few more hours. i read online that wedding toasts are supposed to have embarrassing anecdotes about the person you’re toasting, and i think it’s safe to say that as izzie’s older brother, her twin brother, i have more than anyone else who’s going to be toasting after me. but i think i’ll spare her tonight, mostly because i want her to keep loving me instead of turning that love to passionate hate. instead, i want to remind her of a time we thought we’d never survive, when it seemed we were on opposing sides and we would never find our way back. iz, i’m so glad we made it. i’m so proud of you. i love you. i wish you the utmost happiness and i would kill to be an uncle, at this point. to my partner in crime. to izzie. ❞

#iconic #izziemvcnair #ask #that's the asmr i watch to fall asleep dvnscoaneks #IZZIE:｡.#「 meme. 」❜+:｡.#i copied my boss' email footer gotta lov lawyers #long post

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