#i chipped my tooth when i was 8 because i tried to dive in the shallow end of the pool

[kagayamasthighs]

weeeee hi min! i came across ur blog n ab to dive into ur works (am pumped) but first saw that u just got ur tongue pierced and im SO CURIOUS— how was the pain level/healing process been?? (only if u dont mind me asking!) im highkey a wimp and just got a diff piercing done myself but ngl was eyeing that for a hot sec, only the place i went to wasnt doing below mask piercings. but i’m considering!!

tongue piercing stuff

hihi!! i’m so happy you found my blog 🥺 i’m gonna answer your questions and also add some other stuff that might be helpful!

is it painful?

ok so I have a pretty high pain tolerance?? built: different but when i got it done, the feeling was similar to what a lot of other people have said online about the pain. i expected it to hurt a lot more than it did, it just kind of felt like when you bite your tongue by mistake but for a longer period of time? the pain doesn’t get progressively worse or anything while they’re getting the jewelry ready to go in the new piercing it just? kinda remains the same. Once the jewelry is in, it doesn’t hurt as badly. like immediately after i had it done I could talk pretty normally and stick my tongue out without much pain

how long does it take to heal?

generally, tongue piercings take 4-6 weeks to heal which is super fast! mucous membranes like the tongue bounce back really quickly! when you first get your tongue pierced, the bar is really long (5/8 of an inch or 7/8 of an inch long, depending on your tongue) so that there’s lots of room for it to swell. after the 4-6 weeks you can go back to your piercer and they’ll put in a shorter bar for you, sometimes even for free!

recovery essentials

these are some things that are essential for the recovery process (please follow your piercer’s instructions!! i’m not a licensed piercer, this is all my personal experience):

a new, soft bristled tooth brush (i bought a pack of kids’ toothbrushes from cvs)

a good, alcohol free mouthwash. most piercers recommend biotene, and I like it a lot because it’s made to help with dry mouth, and the first few days i was just chilling with my mouth open because the swelling made closing my mouth all the way a little uncomfy. Brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash after consuming anything other than water (sometimes i just rinse with mouthwash or saline solution though)

distilled water and non-iodized, natural sea salt (warm up the water, adding 1/4tsp salt to every cup of water) to make a saline solution. swishing a little warm saline solution really helps with the healing process and makes it feel much better during the early days of healing

pain reliever! i got motrin because it’s also an anti-inflammatory.

ice! i crushed a little ice at a time in the blender and just?? ate little spoonfuls of it for the first 5 or so days

also i’d avoid spicy food/ any food that’s intensely flavored (like salt and vinegar chips or sour candy) for about a week at least bc that shit hurted me ;~; i had salt and vinegar chips on day 8 and my tongue was like pls stoP but like,,, i paid money for the chips so i ate them and suffered

recovery process

(i’m currently on day 11, so i’ll only be able to tell you about what’s happened so far dshjfsgjkghsg)

day 1: some slight discomfort when talking, not a whole lot of noticeable swelling. for some reason as soon as i got home my stupid ass tried to eat a banana and it kinda hurt unless i took really little bites. eating feels really weird and hurts a bit at first. 

day 2: i woke up and the swelling was worse than on day one. The pain was a bit worse too? but that might have just been me not noticing the pain as much on day 1 because the adrenaline of actually going out and getting it done haha.  talking makes the pain worse, and sticking my tongue out was pretty uncomfortable too. i think i ate mac and cheese? the pain and swelling weren’t super bad so i was confident i’d be good eating it

day 3: ok so day 3 is are when the swelling usually hits its peak: it usually doesn’t get any more swollen than it is on day 3. that being said shit was VERY swollen, all my meals were smoothies of some sort. I ate lots of ice but had to use a tiny spoon because opening my mouth super big hURT. 

day 4: my tongue was still pretty swollen, slightly less than day 3, but not like noticeably better. more smoothies. more ice

day 5: i noticed that the swelling was getting better on day 5 but it still wasn’t super close to normal. might have had pasta? i think? 

day 6: i don’t know about day 5 but im positive i had pasta by day 6. Swelling was still noticeable but it was going down. not very painful! just felt a twinge if i tried to stick my tongue out or moved my tongue around a lot.

day 7: swelling was still going down! much closer to normal than day 3 though. very close to normal i think. i found out i can eat most things (like,,, texture wise. spicy food is still a no go) without much trouble by this point any pain was more like,,, soreness? overall not bad. the pain was so minimal i’d just?? forget to take it every 4-6 hours and only took it when i noticed it was kinda painful

day 8: by day 8 i felt pretty much back to normal and didn’t need to take pain relievers. i didn’t really notice my tongue feeling or looking very swollen either so i got overconfident and had some potato chips. texture wise? i was pretty ok eating them, i just had to be careful. but my stupid ass thought salt and vinegar would be a good flavor to try having. it was not a good idea, and it stung but like,,, i bought them so i ate them anyway

day 9 - now: totally normal!! but it’s important to keep rinsing and brushing extra because even though it feels fine it’s still healing

let me know if there’s anything else you wanna know! i hope this helps!! and thank you for following me @scrappydaisies !!

[thesinglesjukebox]

VALEE FT. JEREMIH - WOMP WOMP

[6.29]

Continuing Amnesty Week with a song that is, at the very least, significantly better than the other 'womp womp'-related news of 2018...

Julian Axelrod: I saw Valee open for Young Thug in November 2017. (This was before he really blew up; for context, he went on before avant-garde rapper Leikeli47.) He ambled onstage with a book bag and shrugged his way through some standard-issue bangers. Then he reached into that book bag and pulled out a dog. Furrari looked alarmed, as a five-pound Yorkie surrounded by giant loudspeakers would be. But Valee just kept rapping, flexing his tiny dog like a brand new Patek. That's Valee in a nutshell: the weird, gentle soul at the center of an icy trap wasteland. "Womp Womp" finds him at his most charismatic and confounding, reeling off warped one-liners over a beat that sounds like bubbling sewer water. It's a testament to the rapper's influence that Jeremih hews as close to Valee's intonation as possible, the two voices melting into one sleek steel alloy. But Valee inhabits a world of his own: He does acid and chips a tooth. He tries Chinese food for the first time. He's Snoopy in a room of droning adults, the world's coolest mutt taking freakish flights of fancy to a place we couldn't begin to understand. [8]

Maxwell Cavaseno: "Womp Womp" is Valee at his most straightforward and commercial in 2018, especially when compared to the extremity of flows diving off a cliff on his Good Job You Found Me EP or other places. Tyler, The Creator and 6ix9ine have made a point to crip the run-on sentence phraseology and affectations, but only Jeremih has managed to get on a song with Valee to do it in complementary fashion. The strengths of "Womp Womp" are producer Cássio's low-tech slink and Jeremih's ponderous murmurs, providing a nice complement to Valee's more dry rattle. [8]

Iain Mew: The mirroring vocal and instrumental melodies are nursery rhyme bright, put through a tight monochrome filter. It could be a striking effect to build on, but they get the minimum out of it, just content to roll out a series of average one-liners. [5]

Juana Giaimo: I doubted if I should mention the misogynist lyrics because it seems I do it almost every time I write about a rap song by a male artist, but it is 2018 and I'm fed up. I find disgusting every time Valee and Jeremih say they "beat pussy," a rather violent line for my taste. In "Womp Womp" women are just objects they can fuck and buy things for, as a way of buying them and control their sexual life ("I spent seven hunnid', fucked that overseas stunner/ If she a slut, I'll find out, I'll meet that bitch mañana"). They continue to degrade women by calling them "lazy" when having sex or saying they are dry as a cactus -- cacti are full of water inside. Many said the lyrics of this song are nonsense, but they are not innocent: behind the nonsense, I can hear the misogyny and I don't want to accept it, as it if it was naturally part of rap music, because I believe it can be much more than this. [3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: "Womp Womp" runs out of steam halfway through Valee's verse, so I'm always left wishing for a condensed version of the song whenever I hear it. Even then, it's impossible to deny Valee and Jeremih's flow and how playfully it interacts with producer Cássio's rumbling low-end and rubbery synths. I like it more when it's lingering in my mind than blasting through my speakers. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: "Womp Womp" is definitely a step up for Valee, proving his slippery monotone flow is not just a hot style but also a pop-viable form. The record also benefits the featured Jeremih, who has been running with a percussive, neatly punctuated cadence of a similar vein since Late Nights. After laying down the onomatopoeic hook, he runs with that syllable-stretching flow so smoothly as he effortlessly slants and bends his end rhymes to fit the rhythm. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: "Womp Womp" moves through you with speed and precision-- it's new-wave boast rap (formalist-leaning compared to the 2018 curve) stripped down to its parts, with each bass note by producer Cássio feeling like a load-bearing beam. As for the two vocalists, the formulaic approach that said beat affords works to their benefit. Jeremih plays it straight, lounging around in the schoolyard taunt pose, while Valee gets to blow up his own sing-song formula, filling his verses with tricky turns of phrase that leave him the better of the pair. The only thing that "Womp Womp" needs to improve is to switch the ratio of the two-- it's 60:40 J:V now, but an arrangement that gives more space for the new guy would liven up the place. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[ouraidengray4]

An Unexpectedly Awesome Side Effect of Not Drinking

Last week, a professional chef invited me to his house for dinner—a six-course meal that included homemade pork sausages, beef meatballs, lamb, spinach risotto, ravioli, a cheese board, and a three-tiered coconut cake. The chef marveled at how much food I could put away. "How can you eat this much and stay so svelte?" he inquired, as I served myself a third lamb chop. The answer came as soon as he asked me if I'd care for a glass of wine. "No, thank you," I said. "I don't drink."

EDITOR'S PICK

When I cut alcohol out of my diet last year, I never expected my weight loss to be this drastic. I imagined that I might shed a pound or two, but as I usually only drank once a week, I figured that the impact those Friday night sessions had on my waistline must be fairly limited. However, six months have gone by, and I'm 10 pounds lighter and down a dress size.

Friends constantly ask for my "secret," my diet, the name of my Spin instructor. When I tell them I simply gave up gin and tonics, they look at me askance. Look, I tried dieting, I trained as a circus aerialist, and I did a 90-day yoga challenge, but nothing has been as impactful as simply not drinking alcohol.

I knew my relationship with alcohol had become a problem last summer. I never drank every day or even every other day—it wasn't the frequency of my drinking that worried me, it was my reaction to it. When I took that first sip of my long-awaited Friday night gin and tonic, I felt this huge surge of relief, like the long exhale you make as you sink into the sofa after a long day. The muscles in my face relaxed, a smile broke out on my face, and I could let go of all of my problems for as long as my drinking session lasted.

Drinking lowers your inhibitions and allows you to make all the bad choices you want. "I was drunk!" you joke the next day when you wake up in a full face of makeup, holding a honey mustard-smeared chicken tender.

Like many other millennials, I deal with a lot of career frustration and stress. I send job applications out into the world every week and only occasionally hear anything back. It's like shouting into the Grand Canyon: Is anybody out there… there… there? When a reply does ping into my inbox, I open the email warily, waiting for the point in the message that explains there's no money attached to the project, but it will be "great exposure." Of course, not only does exposure not pay the rent, you can die from exposure. But drinking allowed me an off-switch from thinking about my career—it was an easy (albeit unhealthy) fix.

EDITOR'S PICK

I've also found that my head is constantly planted in the future—I have a hard time living in the present. But when you go to the bar or dive into that post-booze delivery pizza, I guarantee you, you are present. You aren't thinking about the past (and all your mistakes), and you're not thinking about the future (if you were, you might consider the pain of the impending hangover). No, you are only focused on the moment at hand.

When I realized that I was living in the present when I drank, I started to explore how I could use the idea of being present to actually aid my sobriety. If I could stay in the moment day-to-day—instead of storing up all of my problems and then releasing them in a drinking binge (and maybe subsequent eating binge)—I could work through them as they arose, chipping away at my issues piece by piece, rather than letting things get out of control until it all felt unmanageable.

Presence of mind was the key, as it turned out. I learned how to take a breath and consider what I was about to do. It sounds so simple, but if you just take a moment to think about whether or not you need to drink or eat a huge slice of pie right now, your choices may change. Sobriety clears your mind and allows you to react more calmly, with compassion for yourself and others. Curious to try it out for yourself? Here's what to do—and expect.

1. Tell your friends (or they might think you're avoiding them, not booze).

Drinking is woven into almost every social activity. When I made the decision to embrace sobriety, I ended up turning down a lot of events that I knew were going to be big boozefests—I missed my friend's band performing and skipped Friday night cocktails. Soon, I began to feel lonely. I hated missing out. Plus, I was keeping a secret from my friends.

So tell the people you're close to. You don't have to say you're doing this forever, and you don't have to admit to being a raging alcoholic, but let them know that you're taking some time off from drinking. Start with baby steps, because small steps are easy for everyone to accept. If you and your friends think this no-alcohol rule is only a short-term thing, it will be easier for everyone to get on board.

If you decide to continue with your sobriety, you can do it incrementally, maybe another week, maybe a month... and soon you'll just be the friend who doesn't drink. No big deal.

2. The sugar cravings will surprise you.

I've never had a sweet tooth—cheese has always been my food vice of choice—but when I stopped drinking, I suddenly experienced severe sugar cravings. Alcohol contains plenty of sugar, but more than that, drink mixers are often off-the-charts sweet.

Bearing in mind that your recommended daily sugar intake is about 50 grams max, learning that a single vodka-and-cranberry juice can contain 30 grams of sugar is a little devastating… and let's face it, who is just drinking one of these on a night out? I thought I didn't have a sweet tooth, but in reality, I had a big one—it was just being satisfied by gin and tonics, not cupcakes.

Sugar affects the brain by raising dopamine levels, the same chemical that is released when we drink alcohol. Dopamine is often referred to as the "reward chemical" because it creates feelings of well-being, so when you stop drinking, your brain is suddenly depleted of this feeling and seeks it elsewhere.

Personally, I don’t think you should worry too much about this sudden desire for sugar—in my experience, indulging a little bit can be good for you. Be gentle with yourself and eat the occasional cookie, if it helps you. I eat a reasonably healthy diet, and my sugar imbalance sorted itself out in about a week, although this could take longer depending on how much you drank and your fondness for the sweet stuff.

3. Don't be shocked if you feel some pushback.

When I told one of my friends that I wasn't drinking via a text message, I didn't hear back from her for over a week. When she did reappear, she explained she found this news hard to digest as it made her question her own choices with regards to drinking. This is not uncommon. Whenever you make a lifestyle choice for your benefit, it can hold up a mirror to other people's choices.

I remember when a friend told me she was becoming a vegan, my initial reaction was to mock her and roll my eyes... but then I considered why I reacted that way. Why should I care what she chooses to put in her body? It dawned on me that her choice to avoid meat and dairy was shining a light on the foods I chose to consume. I had responded to poorly to her choice because I felt it reflected badly on me.

So I encourage you to allow people time to deal with their own feelings about drinking. Any bad response you receive has less to do with you than what's going on with them.

4. Don't expect immediate results, but do expect results.

After about two months of not drinking, I had maybe shifted a pound or two. Not exactly startling progress, but after six months, 10 pounds had come off, and I had no idea how this had happened. I had changed nothing about my diet—I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and exercised solely by walking to the subway. To put it bluntly, I didn't do s**t for this weight loss. Well, except that I'd stopped drinking.

5. The phrase "drunk food" will no longer be in your vocabulary.

I said that I hadn't changed my diet, and I hadn't—not in a conscious way, at any rate. But by not drinking, I had removed a part of my diet that I shamefully call my "drunk food." I'm referring, of course, to that delicious burrito you eat on your way home from the bar (the 1,000-calorie one) and the hungover breakfast you make for yourself the next day.

Then there's the Sunday brunch that lasts hours, packed with Bloody Marys, French toast, eggs Benedict, etc. Without a hangover to constantly mop up, your diet just naturally improves. Yes, fried foods can still be a fun indulgence, but they don't become a medical necessity to get you through a Sunday.

6. You’ll sleep like a baby.

We know that a glass of wine can help you drift off, but drinking often leads to poorer-quality sleep. When you stop drinking, your sleep drastically improves. For one thing, you're more likely to get into a regular sleep schedule. In my drinking days, I would be in bed by 10 p.m. on weeknights, but when I went out drinking, bedtime could become 1 a.m… 2 a.m… 3 a.m... It disrupted my cycle for the entire weekend and left my Monday mornings feeling like a real slog. Without this disruption, I wake up feeling refreshed and I can tell you I haven't once woken up and thought, Gee, I wish I'd had some drinks last night.

7. Stop meeting at the bar and go for coffee.

A simple concept in theory, unbelievably hard in practice. I knew that if I joined my friends at a bar, I would end up drinking. It really is no fun being the only sober friend sipping a seltzer while your friends pound tequila shots. I had to remove myself from those situations, but I didn't want to become a Miss Havisham-style recluse.

My answer to this was to move my socializing to the daytime. When anyone suggested that we grab a drink, I countered with, "I can't make it Friday night, but how about coffee on a Saturday?" You will need to rearrange your life somewhat, but what you lose in drunken karaoke, you make up for with sober, genuine conversation.

8. If you love food, this is the diet for you.

I've never been a dieter. I simply love to eat and I couldn't imagine not enjoying a well-balanced diet. A typical day's meals for me are scrambled eggs with plenty of cheese and toast for breakfast, a turkey and avocado sandwich for lunch, and pasta for dinner. Maybe a slice of pie works its way in there somewhere. I eat what I feel like eating, and still the weight comes off. It's a dream!

9. Meditation can help.

With so much uncertainty in our lives, it's only natural to worry about the future—and feeling unsure about the future can lead to carelessness in the present. Though times may seem tough, if you stay present in the moment, you can realize that the future is not all laid out in front of you like some inevitable path, but in fact, is yours to create. By changing your thinking about the future, you take back control. So start right now.

Whenever you make a lifestyle choice for your benefit, it can hold up a mirror to other people's choices.

Meditation is something that can help with this. By taking time to sit with your thoughts for five minutes, you're giving yourself room to consider what it is you are about to do. If I feel that "f*ck-it" mindset approaching and wonder Why not just go out and get drunk, it's all a mess anyway? I take a moment to sit with it. By the time the meditation app rings its little chime, the impulse has passed, and a better decision has presented itself.

10. Don't take it all too seriously.

Someone said to me recently that if I had combined my not drinking with a diet and exercise makeover, my body would be bangin' right now. My answer was "Not drinking is hard enough." While diet and exercise are clearly important when it comes to keeping your weight in check—and being healthy—I find it's just too much pressure all at once. If I stopped drinking, went vegan, and started boxercise at the same time, I guarantee you that within a week, I would have freaked out, felt overwhelmed, and fallen into bed with a box of mozzarella sticks.

Be kind to yourself. If you want to see gradual weight loss that feels easy, consider cutting alcohol out of your diet. When you feel on an even keel with this change, maybe then consider adding other lifestyle choices into your regimen. If you fall off the wagon and drink a glass of wine, don't beat yourself up. You do not need to be perfect—all you need is to be willing.

Ruthie Darling is a British writer, photographer and theatre artist based in Brooklyn. She once shared a stage with Sting and played it totally cool. You can find more of her work on ruthiedarlingblog.com and Instagram @ruthiedarling.

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