#i cant tag his team im sorry im still in denial

[aridayy24]

NeedsWork

Awhhhh i got nothing nada zilch. Everything spinning, i know longer know if im winning. Im walking in circles dodging hurtles, i feel like a fucking turtle. Where are my babies? Where did they go? How did this fucking happen, everybody seems to know but im outta my head, out of mind. Life is just on constant rewind, replay, reboot. I gotta FDR my brain.

ill be the first to admit i lost my goddamn mind, switched to military time, i wasn’t doin fine. Wasnt eatin. Wasnt sleepin. I swear though i seen the light in the skies, calling everything out as i seen it, before the truth was in disguise. I swear i could see the future in my daughters eyes, n it was looking bleak n i was weak. Lack of nutrition, not following my intuition. Trying to get back into school but whose about to pay your tuition? Trying to give my kids the life i never had, the bills keep piling up and momma just got laid off. Back on that welfare here we go wic, foodstamps, Medicaid bound. Unemployment trynna hang me, the websites always fuckin with me shits always down. Baby daddy drama wont go away, he had me locked away. My teams blowin up my phone, ari dre says your back on drugs are you okay? Omfg all of you go away.

Kicked outta my own home, judge says not 1000 feet. Morgan you can have the rented townhouse, keep the cars, and have everything i bought and say its yours. Destroy my reputation and slander my name. You have allot of fucking nerve, thanks for that learning curve. I don’t need an explanation, your disrespect exceeds expectation. All i want is those babies. One girl. One boy. 1 year 1 week apart. Adam and Eve as i do preseive. Mira Mira, you tagged all over our walls. Up and down the halls. Harold and his purple crayon has nothing on you. Your my baby girl. You and your little brother are my whole world. 

Oh Mira Charisma, You warned me to keep my mouth shut covering my mouth when ever i was about to burst out. Its like you knew your father and I wouldn’t work out. Getting in-between whenever were in a fight, dragging me out side to see the sunlight. Im sorry babygirl, your father and I are never getting back together and its for the better. I thought wed be together forever, shell have no furry like a women scorn, ill never forget how he tore you two from my life. I still see you running into the street cop lights flashing, your grandma and dad joking with the cops as they have me locked away. The memory will never fade away. Momma had to loose her concept of time, in exchange for the keys 2 her mind, 2 survive the separation anxiety.

 You see momma came from a long line of neglect and abuse, and i promised to break the chain for you. Momma left nearly a decade ago, last i checked that bitch in fargo. i never knew my father, but i gotta allot a people who claim to be. My friends fighting, and hating over me and about me. Claiming​ they worried yet there no where to be seen. Im stuck in between, gotta get outta of this mess, try to remember to get dressed one foot after the other, one day at a time. Try not to get stressed, get some rest. I cant keep counting i feel like im drowning. 

The world is spinning, whirling outta control. I only hear select words, i count the birds. I only see the lights, im at a loss for words. This anxiety got me stuck, lord tell me i got some luck commin my way cause this shit is to much and i cant stay, take me far away. Life got me on my knees, its hard to believe, that’s why i be smokin trees. I cant forget anything anymore, cant be living in denial anymore, cant believe the lies anymore,gotta remember to breath. Afraid to go to trail court rooms aren’t for me, praying the judge will set me free. Cause jail just ain’t for me, that’s why i kept my shit clean.