#i cant stop laughing hAHAHA
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belleandsaintsebastian · 7 months ago
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most of the time i really don't care but. today i'm feeling a bit sad that i don't think i'll ever be able to tell my dad i'm queer. and i know it's literally so stupid to think about and its not that bad or anything but just. gahhh idk. i'm just a bit angry and sad bc i feel like it would change everything + i'd just let him down. GAHHHHH :) okay anyways back to the main program....
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jesterv1 · 4 months ago
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Venomshank looked at little sword and said "you're coming home with me"
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Edit:
✨ family pic ✨
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ieatcerealboxes · 10 months ago
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U-1146: what the fuck why are you helping out cancer cell
Regulatory t cell: that's oomf😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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holdyourwine · 2 years ago
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somebody help me pls i just happen to neteyam’s pics and young jake and im currently giggling at the words, ‘monster fucking fetish’ and ‘BBC (big blue cock)’ whilst my friends are sleeping around me and watching sitcom i feel so stupid giggly
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jediaxis101 · 3 months ago
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livinglavidaloca · 2 years ago
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I saw this on my Pinterest the other day and felt the need to put this up to brighten peoples day.
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goreyskeleton · 1 day ago
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gassydumbjocks · 9 months ago
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Filthy Animals
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Shawn sighs trying to focus on his algebra book again to study as he hears all the noise coming from the living of the apartment he shared with his roommate.
He couldn't have any worse luck than living with the most sexist, grossest, filthiest, and DUMBEST guy he've ever met, Jaden was watching the football match with his bunch of good-for-nothing bros again, or apes, like Shawn liked to call them, filling the house with the obnoxious sound of their dumb laughs and bodily functions, Shawn swore he couldn't pass five minutes without hearing (or smelling, even from his room) a belch or fart those ogres would let out, and then giggle like toddlers cuz it was so much fun for them.
"BOOOOOUUUUURRRRRPPP" the jock lets a fat bassy belch out after drinking a whole can of beer "Woooh Broo! Hahaha, that was a fucking BEAST! ah?" He says joking with his slob peers as they all agreed while watching the game or commenting about the breast or butt from the cheerleader girls they were dating on.
It was already enough for him, as he made his way out of his room decided to confront him, he found him on the couch wearing nothing but his nasty underwear and a hand under it as he scratched his balls casually, Shawn grimaced.
"Y'all will never behave?! I can hear your disgusting noises from my room, You animals!" He said, almost red from rage, but Jaden simply letted a goofy laugh with the dumb smile and look he always had, same with his dudes.
"Lil bro, relax a bit, we're bonding as we men should do, you afraid to cut the cheese or what?" he smirked as he lifted one of his legs and pointed right at Shawn, he grunted and before the poor guy could do anything "Protein fart bomb!".
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!
The putrid stink of the protein combined with the beer and all that food he and his friends were eating hitted Shawn almost immediatly, making him gag and feeling nauseus, wanting to run to the bathroom and throw up, while Jaden was having a good laugh and fist bumping with his all his bros, some even responding with another fart just to bother Shawn more "Damn i fucking stained my briefs with that one hahaha" Jaden said smiling, and it was no joke as even Shawn could see the brown mark on them, horrifying him.
"Ewwww! STOP YOU BRUTE!" He covered his nose "You are an ANIMAL" he hissed giving him a killer look.
"What is your damn problem?" It was then when Jaden got done with his whines and looked at him "Why dont you fucking relax and start acting like a man? You could even join us if you wanted" He offered, for Shawn's surprise, but the nerd was so mad that he made a disgusted face at the idea of it.
"I wouldn't join a group of slobs without manners who only know how to think with their cocks and fart or belch non-stop like fucking pigs, You are so dumb that you cant even count past 10 or say your own names correctly!" He stated, The jocks made overexaggerated gasping sounds, seeming offended by it, Jaden just stared with a neutral expression, his 'you're dead already' look perforing him deeply. Shawn quite started to fear him once he lost his sudden dose of courage.
"We'll see who ends up being the animal here, lil bro" was all the jock said before focus on the game again, leaving Shawn with a bad feeling running throught his spine as he rushed back to his room.
"Idiot... He just wants to scare me" He said as he seated again in his chair to continue his studying for the rest of the night, A little worried tho, for Shawn he just said the truth, but he didn't know what the immature and stinky athlete could do to him, time after overthinking about it he decided go sleep, unaware of the plan the Jocks at the living were making in that moment.
During the next morning, Shawn woke up around 9 am, so he supposed Jaden would probably be at the gym before his training, he got out his room and walked to kitchen to have some breakfast, but to his surprise he was there, still in his undies as always when he was home , eating some brownies from a plate that was in the table, before smiling at the nerdy guy "Brodaah!, you want some of these? My girlfriend brought me brownies cuz she made some for the annual campus event tomorrow, but i can share" he said, as innocently as he could sound, Shawn narrowed his eyes at him and then at the brownies
"If you farted on them i swear i'll throw them to you" he threatened, Jaden rolled his eyes, grabbing another "Bro, grab some, i didn't put anything nor poisoned them, ya paranoid" He said "I left the white chocolate ones for you, i ate the rest"
The pale guy doubted for a sec, but then he thought that Jaden maybe couldn't even be that smart to think on something to ruin the food, he was the last of his class and his IQ didn't pass over 65.
He slowly extended his arm, and picked up a brownie, he sniffed it before "Smells a bit rare... What did she use to bake them?"
Jaden simply proceeded to shrug "they tasted good to me, just try one bruh! You wont regret" The jock said once again, Shawn looked at it unsure of what to do, after some eternal seconds, he sighed and finally bited the brownie, gulping it down his throat once finished
"Eh... Actually it wasn't so bad-" He got interrupted by a huge growl, coming from his deep gut in his stomach, he held it in pain with a hand, and somehow for some reason he started to feel a bit... Bloated.
"What the hell was in that?!" The nerdy guy looked in horror the taller jock, who just dedicated him an evilish and satisfied grin.
"You'll see, lets just wait it does its effect" He said, Shawn tried to run, but he couldn't move neither "This is bullsh-..SHIOOooOOOUUURRRRPP" a wet then deep and smelly belch made its way out of him out of nowhere, but instead of feeling ashamed, that burp seemed to take all the worry out of him and leaving him on a slacking and relaxed state.
"Cool haha" Jaden approached him, seeing the scrawny boy with a lost look standing there "Now we can start... Where should we... You said we were animals, but what if i tell you you are one too? Man, you even smell worse than me, just sniff your pits!"
Shawn proceed to lift his arm and sniff deeply, he showered daily, but now his armpits immediatly took a fetid and rank odor that could make even the strongest faint.
"And you also said we dont have manners, remember? You dumbass, we both know your fumes are deadly, you love to let it rip bruh hahaha"
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!
That blast made Shawn's pants vibrate at the bass from that fart, with each gas he letted out, his expression seemed more and more relaxed and drool scaped from his lips.
"You forgot you are such a dumb jock" Shawn made a goofy laugh at that as he scratched his butt.
"Such a dumb and gross jock"
"BOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURRRRRRP" was Shawn's response this time.
"You truly are an animal, dude, so dumb and filthy i cant imagine how you are even able to talk haha"
"Du... Dumb hahaha" A new deep voice came out of his throat, and then he belched again before grinning stupidly.
"Oh and, for the record" he made a pause "I did farted on those brownies, but just yours man, and Bryan could possibly rubbed them in his ass... And Wesley maybe burped on them too, i dunno, just enjoy the extra flavor haha"
Shawn never felt more dizzy or dazed in all his life, not that it mattered now tho, his life now was being a hot dumb and smelly jock, blasting burps and farts as if it was his own breath, it felt good to be dumb, it felt good to act like a man.
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sarawritestories · 8 months ago
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hiii i cant get ur fics out of my head so i thought i'd request one! i came across this vid on tiktok and i'd love to see your take on a cassian x reader fic w this vibe HAHAHA i dont mind whoever would be character a or b in this scenario so i leave it in your capable hands! my only specific request is that they're both in the IC hihi
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFay7B7J/
This was a lot of fun to write! I hope I did this request justice for you!
I Won't Say I'm In Love
Cassian X Fem Reader
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Summary: You are toe to toe in a sparring match with Cassian when he eventually has you pinned to the ground. After some banter Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie confront you about your feelings for him and it's later that night when the four of you are having a girls night do you realize what your feelings truly are.
Content Warnings: None
Word Count 1.7K
A/N: This song was stuck in my head as I wrote this.
ACOTAR Masterlist
You were sparring with Cassian, sweat trickling down your back as the sun unleashed the cruel heat of summer upon you. Opting to take off your leathers and kept the band around your chest and leggings just to keep your cool.  “Don’t give up on me now, Sweetheart.” He lunged an attack that you easily dodge.
“Who said anything about giving up, I’m just getting started.” You swiped your leg to the back of his knee, his hand gripping your calf.
Your eyes widened as he gave me a playful grin, both of us realizing my error. In a quick sweep Cassian maneuvered you to where your chest pressed against the mat and his chest was pressed against your back. His legs wrapped around yours locking you in place. You squirmed under him as he grazed his fingers lightly up your bare torso and you sucked in a breath as his calloused hands reached your arms where he pinned your wrist. You tried to break his grip as heat blasted to your cheeks. Cassian flared his wings and shade consumed the two of you, a reprieve from the unyielding sun. You continued to wiggle under his grip, He leaned in and whispered, “Stop wiggling.”
You scowled and continued your writhing, “You’re not the boss of me, you prick.”
Cassian chuckled, “I’m your general, Sweetheart. That does in fact make me the boss of you.” He gripped your wrist tighter, “I order you to stop wiggling.”  You rolled your eyes, and wiggled anyway and he growls low in your ear, heat pooling in your belly. “I will put you in Az’s dungeon for insubordination if you keep it up. Let the Shadowsinger remind you how to act around your superiors.”
You turned your head and batted your eyelashes at him, “Is that a promise, General?”  You emphasized his title and suddenly the pressure of his body is on you.  You turned on your back to sit up and saw him stalking back into the House of Wind, his wings ruffling. Nesta stepped forward offering you a hand, Gwyn and Emerie not far to follow.
“When are you going to put that insufferable bat out of his misery?” Nesta questioned with a quizzical brow.
You frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gwyn rolled her eyes and looped her arms through yours, “Everyone knows that he is in love with you. I mean the way he looks at you and touches you.”
You laughed, “Gwyn, I think those romance novels are going to your head. We’re just friends, he’s just a flirt. Besides, I don’t even like him like that. He’s like my brother.”
That much was true Rhys had met you in Hewn City when you were both teenagers. You were about to get married off and taking the steps down the aisle when Cassian and Azriel came in and swooped you out of the city and into Velaris. Rhysand then placed you in charge of working with the citizens of the city of Starlight to help with any repairs or issues that needed to be taken care of. And had been a part of the Inner Circle ever since, it was helping train Nesta and the Valkyries that brought you true joy the three girls bringing you such a light in your life.
Nesta rolled her eyes as we all headed into the House. “Whatever, you say, but he never calls anyone else, Sweetheart.”
You bit your lip and kept quiet as the four of you walked through the dining room where Azriel sat. “Hello, ladies, how was training?” He addressed the group, but his eyes lingered on the red head on my arm.”
Gwyn just smirked, “Fantastic, Cassian was about to devour his Sweetheart on the mat today. It was romantic.” You glared at her, and her Teal eyes twinkled with mischief.
Azriel chuckled drawing my gaze to the spymaster as he looked at me, “Did he now?”
You crossed my arms, “No he didn’t, all he did was pinned me down and threatened to throw me in your dungeons. Also, Gwyn didn’t even”
Az looked to Gwyn, “You have a strange idea of Romance did you know that?”
Gwyn winked at him, and his shadows swirled in response. “Oh, you have no idea, Shadowsinger.”
Feeling the tension in the room, I announced, “Okay well now that we established that Cassan was not coming on to me, and whatever the Hel is going on with you two,” Both Az and Gwyn blush and avert the other one’s gazes, “I’m in need of a bath I’ll see you later tonight.” You walked over and kissed Az’s cheek. “Shadowsinger.”
“Sweetheart.” Az teased, you flipped him off and headed to your room. Cleaning off the sweat and grime of the day, the cold bite of the chilled bath cooling your overheated skin.
Everyone knows that he’s in love with you.
Gwyn’s words reverberated in your mind. Up until you walked into the library where your friends were waiting for you later that night, pajamas on and books in hand. “Ready for book club?” You asked, taking a seat next to Emerie, her hair in her regular braid.
“Yes, let’s begin.” Nesta said pointed stare looking you up and down with a smirk on her face. Looking down at the black silk shorts and top your eyes widened where the red lace was peeking through. You tugged down your shirt as Nesta began reading some of her favorite passages.
“Didn’t you just adore when the knight, came in to help the maiden with her nightmare, even though he has claimed time and again he doesn’t care about her.” Gwyn swooned and your mind drifted.
“Sweetheart, wake up!”
You opened your eyes and met with Cassian’s hazel ones. His hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the stray tears from your face. Cassian’s face held worry there. “What’s going on?” You whispered, voice hoarse and strained.
“You were screaming, calling for help. I came in you were thrashing about in your bed. Scratched me good,” You noticed then that his cheek had a slight gash that was already healing. “Nightmare?”
Your lip wobbled and you gave him a nod. He wiped the sweat soaked strands of hair out of my face. “Stay with me?” you whimpered.
Cassian pressed his forehead to yours and your eyes fluttered close, “Of course, Sweetheart.” And Cassian wrapped you in his arms wings covering you as if his wing could protect you from any impending nightmare to come your way.
Emerie’s voice broke you from your reverie, “I am particularly fond of when the knight dances with her at the ball.
Another memory flashed forward:
You dropped your bag and fought the tears; nothing was more embarrassing than having a date stand you up. A hand gripped your wrist, and the familiar scent of sandalwood told you who it was. You turned and found Cassian there his hair down and stubble grazing his cheeks, “I thought you were on a date tonight?”
I shrugged, “Someone has to show up for it to be considered a date.” His face fell and he gripped your hand, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” He paused and glanced at you clad in a blue striped sundress. “Come here.” He pulled you close to him, his large hand splayed across your back as he pressed your chest your head reached his chest.
“What are you doing?” You asked, placing your own hand on his arm as he gripped your other hand, as he began to sway his wings tucked in.
“I’m dancing with a beautiful female,” Cassian grinned as he turned you both around the room. His grin was contagious and instantly the tears threatening to spill were gone and instead you began to laugh as he twirled you around until you both had exhausted yourselves and he simply held you close and swayed late into the evening.
Nesta’s snapping your face brought you back to the group, “Sorry, I guess my head isn’t here.”
Nesta smirked, “We were just wanting to know. Your favorite part of the book.”
You looked down and grazed your fingers over the cover of the book, “Um I enjoyed the scene, where Cassian-” You blinked and looked up at the girls all three smirking back at you. Then as though a ton of bricks had crashed down on you of memories flashing through of all the times Cassian has interacted with you, and your feelings came flooding to the surface you bolted up from my seat, “OH WHAT THE FUCK! OH GOD.”
Gwyn smiled and crossed her legs, Resting her head on her palm, “What’s the matter, Y/N?”
Not responding to them you bolted from the library and descended the stairs, the plush carpet squishing the bottom of your feet as you barged into Cassian’s room not bothering to knock.
Cassian jolted from his bed, dropping the book he was reading, replacing it with a knife ready, a general ready for battle. His face softened when he realized it was you, his hair was in a bun, a few strands falling down his face, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his chiseled body, and tattoos on full display. His brow furrowed as he noticed your rapid breathing, “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”
Shutting the door, you leaned against it, “I love you.” You murmured looking down at your feet.
“Come again?” You looked up and Cassian had put the knife down, his chest still as though he wasn’t breathing.
You took a step forward, “I love you, Cassian.”
Cassian closed the distance between the two of you, your heart began to quicken as he gripped your waist “Say it one more time for me, Sweetheart.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I. Love. You.”
He growled, “Finally.” He pressed his lips to yours the warmth of his bare chest seeping into your bones as pulled him closer deepening the kiss.
He pulled away his thumbs grazing your hip bones, “I have loved you for so long.” He whispered against Your lips.
“I’m sorry it took so long.” you whispered back. “I’m here now and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”
Cassian smiles. “Mine.” He pecked your lips, as he slapped your ass eliciting a moan. “All fucking mine.” He kissed you again before pulling away, and kissing your nose, “Now be a good girl and take off your clothes for me.”
You smile as you grip the hem of your top, “Yes, General.”
Part 2 can be found here
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cyberkitty1 · 1 year ago
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Twin au /e!42 Miles and e!1610 Miles
Warnings: reader is female & mentions of like fighting
inspo from: @moodysunflowerbaby
GO READ WHAT THEY MAKE BC WOOOWEEE I CANT STOP GIGGLING!
I AM SOOOO EASILY INFLUENCED I CANTTT
How did you meet?
middle school you have classes with the both of them but 42 neverrr shows up. So when he does and 1610 doesnt, youre going crasy!
“ hey miles! you got the braids you have been talking about done? I like em’ on you; suit your face well.”
he just looks at you sideways ”nah im not miles im Mylo, Miles is my identical twin”
you sit there mouth open “ but you look exactly the same its crazy!” he gives you a look like youre dumb ” yea… identical twins.”
after that you would bother them about twin stuff like crazyyy
“ ok miles whats he thinking?” “ getting new shoes” you look at Mylo “REALLY?” “No” they say in unison.
“ wait if you are the same then do you share everything?” you say out of pure curiosity. Mylo looks at you with the most annoyed fave he could muster” no i don’t let his musty self touch my stuff” miles looks at him “ we doin this here?” “ ill do it wherever hermano”
dating one while being friends with the other (42)
you spend a lot of times in your room bc if you try to leave rio makes you take Mikes with you HAHAHA
“ooo that sounds fun! take your brother” shes says walking away “ on second thought we just gonna stay here” Mylo says walking you back to his room.
MILES NEVER KNOCKS!!
You guys dont do anything you wouldnt do in front of his mom but when Miles walks in asking for shoes or jewelry Mylo still gets annoyed.
“ tomorrow night we should go to the mall and then get dinner at-“
“Hey can i borrow some dunks?”
“ hey can you take yourself out of MY room before I remove YOU myself? What I tell you bout nocking?”
“ my bad” he says walking out
(1610)
Mylo pays like 0 mind but it still shocks him that he can pull yk? Not that Mylo likes you but how can his little brother that 0 shocking things about him get a girl?? just shocking.
“ you know what I think bout?”
“hm”
“ that you got a girl acting and looking like that”
“ nigga what? WE LOOK THE SAME”
Miles is so annoying about having a gf i cant
“ Mylo, yk what i got that you don’t have?”
“what”
“ A GIRLFRIEND” ( insert crazy ugly laugh)
GAURD. DOGS.
I AM SCREAMING
Imagine like guys dont like you and its a dumb reason like you rejected them and people dont know yall are frinds so they talk MAD SMACK about you and Miles and Mylo they egg egg them on to beat you up at a said location but they show up instead and get put on a hospital bed HAHA
^ do as you wish with that but if u use it LMK I GOTTA READ IT
______________________
taglist @soseoulol @shoyofroyoyoyo
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side part NOT part 2 here
my taglist is open so please fill THIS out!!
if you filled it out and were NOT mentioned please dm me!!
i also cut my finger so writing is kind of difficult so bear with me 🤭
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sixosix · 2 years ago
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nishinoya yuu loves his teammates.
he adores shouyou, yamaguchi, and kageyama. (tsukishima is only slowly growing on him.) point is, he loves his junior teammates dearly, and would gladly win and lose every tournament if it means just being with them.
but right now? it almost doesn’t feel that way.
you shift nervously, hoping hinata wouldn’t turn around and see the almost poisonous glare nishinoya is drilling on the back of his head. you can see the smoke coming from his ears.
“um.” you feel sweat trickle down the side of your face on hinata’s behalf. “hinata-kun…”
“huh?” says hinata, so painfully oblivious. he tilts his head, asking, “is that a no? it’s okay if you don’t know how to, i can teach you!”
someone gasps from the sidelines.
an unreadable look passes over nishinoya’s face. you almost laugh at how much he’s resembling a disgruntled kitten.
“i know how to, hinata-kun, it’s just that—”
“shouyou,” says nishinoya sternly, a shadow cast across his face, “please stop flirting with the love of my life.”
hinata’s face drains of color so fast you almost reach out in case he faints right then and there. “nishinoya-senpai!” he cries, horrified, “is it against the—the bro… bro… conduct…? contract?”
“the bro code,” yamaguchi helpfully supplies.
“the bro code!” hinata continues. “is it against the bro code to teach someone’s significant other volleyball?”
“it is very intimate,” tanaka agrees, nodding. “i wouldn’t cross that line even on those damn city boys!”
“since when was there a bro code?” sugawara wonders.
“what’s a bro code?” kageyama looks lost, and a little miffed he’s missing out on what seems to be another rule about volleyball he doesn’t know.
“because!” nishinoya yells, catching the attention of just about everyone in the court. “because i don’t want any of you wooing y/n-chan! only i get to look cool in front of y/n, okay? not even you, shouyou.”
hinata nods, taking his mistake seriously.
“yuu,” you laugh, exasperated and hopelessly fond, “there’s no need for all that. only you look the coolest in my eyes.”
nishinoya freezes, jaw hanging wide open. it is impossible, realistically, but everyone watches in awe as an arrow in the shape of a heart strikes him right on his chest.
“y-y/n…” he sobs, sprinting over to you until you’re tackled. but you’re too used to his antics so you just hold him up awkwardly, unfazed. “i love you! would you really let me teach you volleyball?”
this seems extremely important for nishinoya, so you play along and pretend to consider it. “hmm, i don’t know,” you muse, and nishinoya holds his breath. “are you a good teacher?”
“he is!” tanaka agrees immediately, the number one wingman.
“nishinoya-senpai is the best teacher!” and hinata means it, too. “you’re so lucky, y/n-san!”
“i’m touched to have this honor, then,” you laugh. 
“i love you guys! i’m treating you ice cream tomorrow!” nishinoya continues sobbing and preening from the praise. he turns to you, pointing with a finger. “i’m not going to make you regret choosing me!”
you find it sweet that nishinoya is more than happy to let you in on his favorite sport. he seems overjoyed of the thought of you and volleyball combined. “of course, yuu. i’m looking forward to it.”
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this is so stupid HAHAHA i swear it’s like i forgot how to write anymore. i didnt even want to do my fancy format bc i cant think of a title for this
is this a good time to post? no. am i gonna do it anyway so i can slowly make my way back to the algorithm before posting longer fics even though this’ll flop? absolutely yes.
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kenlvry · 1 year ago
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cheating prank
s : pranking kenny kyle craig and stan wasn't easy, but it also wasn't impossible.
kenny
youve been wearing different perfume for a week now to test kenny, a mans perfume. it was a harmless joke yk its what couples do (not really)
you just wanted to see if he noticed your change in perfume from your sweet scent to a heavy one
you honestly thought that kenny didnt notice but kenny notices, every time he hugs you he sniffs in your scent and recently its gone to feminine to masculine.
your suppose to be hanging out with kenny right now, checking yourself out and fixing your outfit in the mirror you remember to spray your perfume all over, a ring to your bell stops you in your track and you hid the perfume.
"kenny!! hii, you ready?" you said while greeting kenny, his face beamed and hugged you his head falls to your shoulder, face in the crook of your neck sniffing in your scent.
after smelling the familiar scent his smile turn into a frown and tightening his grip on your body "k..kenny" tapping his back violently.
he pulls back with a stern look on his face and walks past you going in your house and searching every inch of your house, you following behind urging him to stop
"ken what r you doing?? if ur looking for something just ask" he stops in your hallway and turn back, running his fingers through his hair
"where is he? its been a week,it seems like you love this man so much to the point you see him before going out with me," he approaches you towering over you. "please, i dont care how many men you want just dont leave me"
you couldn't hold it in and laughed loudly, it lasted about 10 seconds. "you think this is funny?" "IM.. HAHAHA IM JUST PRANKING YOU IDIOT" you continue to laugh while his face go dumb "WJAY, I LITERALLY JUST BEGGED YOU RO NOR LEAVE ME YOU KNOW HOW EMBARASISING THAT WAS??" you laugh even louder at this "WHY WPULD I CHEAT ON YOU STUPIS"
he sulked after that, took three days to get him to talk to you... never again will you prank him
kyle
coming home late wasn't a rare occurrence for you, i mean its not rare you go home past 12 but its 2 am and youve been coming home late for a week and a half now, kyle thought work had taken longer than its supposed to but after a call with a friend from where you work at saying work ended hours ago he goes fuming
hes sitting infront of the door arms cross on the chair he pulled from the dining room. contemplating whether to call you and confront you through call or wait for you
honestly you've been meeting up with your online friend and always forgets the time so really.. was it your fault??
keys clacking he stood up from his chair eyes focused on the door, "oh hi, thought you'd be asleep" you smiled , he opened his arms for his hug everytime you see him but you gave him a side hug and walked away. you had to hold in every urge to hug him tightly
he couldn't take it, if you lost feelings for him you couldve been honest. "y/n, are you even trying to hide it?" he says leaning on the countertop kitchen while you wash your hands
"kyle what?" "i mean if you lost feelings for me atleast tell me so i dont look dumb" he rolls his eyes "the house is yours for the night, have him over, kiss make out heck fuck if you want. im leaving"
you didn't know it'll take this far, your too shook to say anything and hes already putting on his jackets and shoes "wait kyle its-" "its what? a misunderstanding? its not what it looks like? fuck your excuses, i actually trusted you and thought you were at work, i was cooking waiting for you to come home so you could enjoy your meal after a long day at work but your coworker said work ended hours ago so what the hell? i cant even-" "its a prank."
he just stood there, frozen mouth wide open from what he was about to say "im sorry i didn't know i thought it was going to be harmless" you hug the stoned man
hugging you back he sniffles "shit don't scare me like that." your heart shattered when he sniffled fr, after that night you took him out to so many dates ur basically poor
craig
you usually never hide your phone from craig when someone texts you, infact you never did it once. you even let him type back to said person
but lately every time you get a message youd look at it secretly or get up from the couch just to check on it, everytime you put back your phone its facing down and you take it anywhere you sometimes laugh and giggle like a disney princess when you get a notification
now you had to make this believable, youd play your message ringtone and laugh while looking at your settings, texting your friend beforehand so when she replies it seems like someone texted you. to make it work you had to have some effort right?
craig seems like he dont give a fuck honestly but he is so curious he wants to know so bad he is such a busy body, he doesn't really suspect its a man he just thinks its really juicy gossip about his close friends so you try not to let him know
but after telling his friends thinking it was a funny thing hes shocked by the stories, some said that the last time their ex did it, it ended up being a man and they broke up. the other said the last time that happened their ex just randomly broke up with them just to find them taken the next day.
oh now his curiosity has grown from a hundred to a million. he gets it now, why you put your phone downwards or how you immediately grab your phone when his hands go to grab something near your phone.
that night you slept at his house, he's about to sleep, phone on the bedside table and ready to snooze, but you haddd to text your secret lover laughing oh so sweetly while typing back. tbh you were texting your bestfriend and she made to most funniest joke so...
"okay y/n ive had enough" he sits up and looks at you, your face puzzled. "dont play dumb bc i know damn well that you are texting your secret lover" you finally realised what hes talking about and you too sit up, holding back a smile.
"fuck y/n we've been together for 2 years, ive loved you all these 2 years but i guess you haven't. get out. i dont want some fucking cheater in my house" he gets up before you can say anything and rushes you downstairs and infront of the door, you tried explaining but he just wouldn't listen.
just as you're out on the porch you turned around "wait craig its a-" the door slams infront of you. damn. girl u messed up
craig sniffles walking up the stairs, two year relationship gone like that. ding a notification from his phone, he opens it and its you
"its a prank" hes dumbfounded and runs back to the door opening it to find you literally hugging yourself freezing with the cold weather, hugging you he sighs "fuck you"
you laugh "sorry craig"
after that he might have some trust issues but every notification you got you make sure he sees it first so he doesn't get paranoid.
Stan
now stan doesn't give a fuck honestly, he doesn't care who you hang out with what you do with them or what happens, he trusts you ALOT. meaning this prank had to be really believable.
you thought long and hard and finally got it, everytime stan comes over (which is every second) you are going to make a fuss whispering "hide" to make it seem like someone was at your house , genius right?? :)
stan notices quickly, at first all you do is make a lot of rustles, loud noises and eventually the Whispers
stan is immediately curious, you never hide your friends from him bc you know he doesn't care. ultimately his first instinct is to try and search the house but you insist on staying in the living room because your room is 'a mess' but who is buying that honestly?
his suspicions grew and he can't take it, he hears the whispers he hears the loud footsteps up the stairs and he hears you rushing around the house hiding stuff and hes devastated. he cant believe you'd cheat on him
hes had enough, he wouldve barged in to catch you in surprise but you have your house locked, the second you open your door he walks upstairs and you smile and almost laughed, you stopped him saying nothings up there and he shouldn't go in again, using the its a mess excuse but he doesn't care.
he immediately barges in your room and you pause, you walk in sitting on your bed legs cross and smiling
"hes under the bed is he?" "really y/n? cheating on me? you couldve told me you lost feelings, say something or atleast hint at it, fuck man." he turns around one hand on his waist the other rubbing his face. you felt bad and decided to call it off , walking up and turning him around you found him crying. you felt so bad
"stan omg its a prank im so sorry i love you" you hug him and he drops his head on your shoulder arms around you. "you love me right?" he mumbles and you hum "always" he looks up cupping your face and kisses you, his salty tears mixing in with the kiss. you kiss him back and literally curse yourself inside for hurting this man.
your trust in each other grew after a long talk and a whole week of spending every minute together. safe to says hes convinced you love him.
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thatgirlsza · 11 months ago
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Mornings♡
Kento Nanami x fem reader
Morning fluff, play fighting, tickling
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"Darling, wake up." His voice is strong and deep; it tickles your ears, and the tips go warm. It's surrounded by the sound of mourning doves sing your lover's tune. The bright yellow of the new-born sun pecking under the curtains is warming your room. You snuggle the bed sheets more, trying to convince Kento that waking up at this hour wasn't the best thing. But he doesn't buy it; instead, he straightens and puts his hand on his hips.
"Hey now, I know you are awake." He scolds not coldly, and you can feel the playfully tinge in his melodic voice. You try to hide a smile with the bedsheets, but he would never miss the sweet curl of your lips. "Hey, naughty girl. I said, Stop faking." Kento hunches over you, his big hands flowing under the bedsheets approaching unbeknownst to you. You snuggle more into the sheets, trying to hide from his playfully intense gaze, but are met by the pads of his fingers caressing and tickling along your stomach and ribs.
"Oh Kento, stop, I, hahaha ha!" You try to speak between laughs and soft pleas for him to stop his attention and warn you that you may pee yourself if he doesn't. He can't help himself, though. Your smile is as bright as the star that lights up the dark sky, a feat the sun cant accomplish. Seeing you laugh in his arms just makes him feel like the world outside could not exist and leave you to be for the rest of eternity.
Kento stops his attention, gliding his hands up your body and up to caress your cheeks as he brings his face down towards you. Your lips touch, and the soft plump of them heats up as they slide against one another. He pulls back reluctantly and looks at your soul through your glassy eyes. "So beautiful." He murmurs before indulging you both by locking lips and beginning to tangle yourselves in each other's limbs. And just like that, your plan to take a run together just fly out into the window.
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ciozio · 6 months ago
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HAPPINESS AU EDITS !!
Another one of these
BUT WITH MORE WORDS!!!!
Act 4 / Act 5 spoilers
:)
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(It's time.)
"Traveling One! Are you done talking with your companions? Yes, wonderful, wonderful!
I'd like to thank you for accompanying young Mirabelle this far. I'm very grateful.
#######, yes? If there's anything I can do to thank you, please don't hesitate to let me know!
I know you will go back on your travels soon, but I do hope you'll keep in touch, if only for young Mirabelle...
But no matter what, know that Dormont will always be open to you! Please co-"
(TELL HER!!!!!)
> "I KNOW ABOUT WISH CRAFT!!!"
"Wish Craft...?
Oh, Wish Craft! Yes, it just so happened that a lot of people in Vaugarde wished for our country to be saved!
I did not think it would work, but if you're here, perhaps it... did...-"
!!!!!!!
"OH.. OH NO... OH NO NO NO-... OH... #######!!..."
(ON CUE!!! HERES THE FREAKOUT!!!! You shouldnt of expected anything less. Worst part of these loops, she doesnt smile!!.. just cries at you.)
“I’m so sorry! There’s no way we can stop it now!”
(But there is. You’re sure she knows it.)
“I’m sorry! You’ll be going back! Back when everything started!”
> “YOU CAN FIX IT… CANT YOU?..”
“I know you thought your-“
(SHUT UP! I GOTTA MAKE LOOP HAPPY HERE!)
> “YOU CAN FIX IT. CANT. YOU?”
“-quest was over, but it can’t be! Somethings broken, somethings failing, rotting!!”
(YOU KNOW!!! HAHA!!! GOOD PERFORMANCE AS USUAL.
BUT YOU WISH YOU CAN HEAR A DIFFERENT SPEECH THAT ISN'T HER WHINING!!)
> “YOU KNOW, I KNOW. WE BOTH KNOW WISH CRAFT!! SO WE CAN FIX IT, YEAH!? STOP THE MISERY!!!”
“. . .”
“Fix it?”
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“No. It’s too late, Siffrin.”
(That name..)
“It’s always been too late.”
(What does she mean?)
> “What are you talking about?…
(She laughs.. you don’t like this kind of smile.)
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“Haha… oh Siffrin..
Its.. true. All of Vaugarde wished to the Favor Tree, wished for us to be saved.
We wished for a savior.
A way for us to win against the King.
And Wish Craft gave us the means to do it… didn’t it?.. make sure it’d work..?
S…somehow… Wish Craft gave us a savior.. able to use Time Craft.. able to retry.. as many times as it took!…
So you could beat the King!..”
(. . .)
“But.. but something went wrong!… didn’t it??.. something went wrong!…”
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“Hahaha… every time!… if you’re here… questioning Wish Craft.. then something must’ve gone wrong!..
I.. I can see it in your expression… Siffrin…
This isn’t the first time you gotten this far… it isn’t, isn’t it!?…
This shouldn’t be.. this shouldn’t be at all!…”
(But…)
“Why does time loop back… even with the King defeated?!?…
Hah.. the only answer I can find…
Is it’s because we did it wrong..”
(W..w……wrong?)
“I don’t know!! I don’t know what happened!…but we MUST’VE done it wrong!!…
NONE of us in Vaugarde knew the exact ritual.. but— but we must’ve done it wrong. It broke. And it doesn’t answer to us at all anymore!..
Haha… or perhaps… s…someone wished for it… wished for our own wish to fail…wished for this !!
Something made the wish break, fail, ROT!!….
O…or…. Maybe the wish can’t come true anymore, somehow!..
Maybe the King wasn’t defeated the right way— it’ll forever remain incomplete.. and Wish Craft, the world, will not abide it!!!
I… I don’t know! I don’t know I don’t know!!!”
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(. . .)
(You can’t move.)
(You.. can’t breathe.)
(Just… just smile.)
(You.. don’t understand.)
(You came all this way..to find the answer…)
(The answer to all of this.)
(Why you’re here.. how to break the loop, the loop that Loop wanted broken!…)
(But the wish was…
broken the whole time?…)
(She cannot help you?…)
(You’re… stuck?… forever?…)
“I…if only… if only we fought back against the King instead! If only we didn’t wish for a thing!
If only I knew this would happen.. if I had noticed it sooner… I would never have let people wish at all!!!
…to know you’ll be trapped for all eternity, Siffrin.. I am so sorry!!!
It’s our fault. All of Vaugarde, that you have to suffer like this!!”
(Suffer?… you… you have been making the most of this!…)
(YOU HAVE BEEN MAKING YOUR FRIENDS HAPPY!…)
(But.. now… you can’t make Loop happy…)
(You…)
“…I just hope that one day…”
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“You might learn to forgive us!!!!!!!!”
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sugar-omi · 25 days ago
Note
Before I say anything else, I swear to god I’m not a purist or one of those weirdos who value virginity or think premarital sex is wrong
BUT do you think Rockstar Cove would feel bad (not exactly guilty, unless you like him pathetic like that like I do, but more like regret) about being a hoe before meeting MC? Like yeah he fucked around a lot for fun but now he knows none of it could measure up to doing it with MC, who he would literally move heaven and earth and kill his lifelong dream for and his first time would’ve been so different if it was with the one he loved
Bonus if MC is a virgin because I think that would definitely make him feel guilty for not “waiting” for them and not “giving” them his first time (again, not for religious reasons or anything, just because of emotional intimacy)
I love torturing him and wanna see him in distress hahaha 😈
first of all- SAME. i feel like, i might come across as religious sometimes, all imma say is dont ask me SHIT abt the bible or religion or anything. i fell asleep every time i went to chruch and god is SICK of me using his name in my filthy smut fics, i know it
BUT OMG YES. this this this...
i like to imagine he doesn't sleep around too much, he needs a bit of a connection for that, plus he's a celebrity so he can't sleep around nearly as much unless he's trying to get a fan pregnant or get a new stalker. so his body count isn't through the roof, but it certainly isn't low...
but he is at the very least a flirt. he'll flirt with you up and down the street, maybe even eat you out/suck you off, and if you're really lucky, get your back blown the fuck out.
when he meets MC though... all of that is over the second you make eye contact. he's obsessed with you, cant get you out of his head and he needs to see you again, needs to hear your voice and your laugh... he's totally done for, all he wants is you now and he's never felt like that before...
doesn't really know how to act because he hasn't been a long-term or one-person man until now but he absolutely cannot let you go.
if you've never been in a relationship before, it's been awhile since your last date, or only in one or two relationships that were more or less serious, he's anxious about being perfect for you.
he doesn't wanna scare you off, as if his fame and public image isn't bad enough.
oh my god if he learns you're a virgin though... he's dead. his heart has stopped...
immediately asks if you're serious, and what the fuck, and now he's worried you won't wanna have sex with him, would you trust him to take your v-card? has he slept with too many people for you to be comfortable with sleeping with him? is or would he be taking advantage of you? what if you hate having sex with him?
he's spiraling. he's thinking too many thoughts and its up to you to bring him down and tell him that you trust him, you wanna have sex with him and you are sure you won't hate it.
omg when he tells you how he wishes he could've given you his virginity, that he wishes he waited for you. you have to laugh, he's so silly... because how was he supposed to know that he was gonna meet the love of his life? if he knew, would he have believed it and waited or laughed and went about his business?
when you do finally decide to have sex... cove goes the full 9 yards, takes you on a lovely vacation, buys you anything and everything you look at twice, gets the most expensive hotel room he can find and spoils you absolutely rotten.
has the lights down low, candles lit and flickering gently along the absurdly luxurious room and he takes care of you.. slowly undressing you, kissing every inch of skin and whispering sweet nothings.
pulls you apart with his tongue again and again until you're weak and trembling, begging him to hurry up and just move onto the good part...
he doesn't fuck you, he makes love to you. it's all so sweet and intimate that even he can't help but feel like it's his first time again, his heart beating nervously and he's a bit shaky, moving automatically in ways he knows from experience.
he would cry, he has his arms around you, hardly moving his hips in a way that's satisfying to your long aching body because he's so intent on being gentle with you, treasuring you and tending to you...
cries and tells you how much he loves you, how much he treasures you and that he'll take care of you forever. that you're his soulmate, begs you drunkenly not to leave him and be his forever, to stay with him and love him and let him love you and spoil you. that he'll give you everything he has, materially, mind, body, and soul, everything is yours.
he promises that you're the only one for him now, that no one else will or could ever take your place and that he's always going to be yours in the end.
if this is what your first time is like.. jesus fucking christ, imagine him proposing to you.
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wonyrs · 1 year ago
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fluster
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enha hyungs x fmr gnr non-idol au, est. relationship warnings food wc 939 + library #
‘ enha hyung as ur 'homies' ! REQ
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lee heeseung
" ayyy how u been bro?"
plays along and even replaces his normal petnames with something he'd usually call the members but NEVER you (until now)
um... hello? where is the endearing "why'd u call me that babe 😢☝️?" where is the begging for a kiss? where is the desperate attempts at pda we were hoping to see? this wasn't the plan at all (like... at ALL)
he tries to hide his laugh when u give him the stink eye and keeps up his act
even going as far to pretend like he isn't seeing ur hand inching closer to his and lifts it up to 'brush' the hair from his face
second attempt at holding his hand ended up with him fishing his phone out from his pocket and showing u an extremely!!! hilarious... insta reel.
ur plan has reversed; instead of him dying for ur affection, its now u trying to stop him from treating u like any other person before u physically cannot take it anymore
"ok man. i see how it is man. bye man." this is ur cue to stand up, run away and never look back for ur own emotional sake
if it weren't for heeseung GRIPPING onto ur shirt with the most gobsmacking laugh u've heard coming out his mouth, to the point tears were trsiling down his face from how hard he's laughing
"wait- wait [name]! you started it, come back!"
park jongseong
" how are u doing BABE? how's life BABE? "
mommm [name]'s acting weird again, i think the heat's getting to them
he acts like he can't see ur hand in the air and continues to kiss u right on the lips (but he still moves ur arm down for safety measures)
"what's good, dude?" "baby, who are u talking to? it's only us in this room lol 🤨"
u try again with dapping him up but immediately he turns around and oh so suddenly the wall is soooo interesting
for the whole hour u mess with him and call him 'bro, dude, gang' and shit like that while he just sneakily rolls his eyes and goes on with his day- while most likely wondering what on earth was wrong w u
he'd be in the kitchen washing the dishes while ure trying to hold his hand and have it dap urs up
but is he paying attention?
lmfao no
he goes on with his day since he knows u cant go another hour without his love and so he has nothing to worry about (unless u actually DO go for another hour, then he's actually going to believe something's wrong with u)
eventually u give up and go back to slumping on his back. the months u've spent together gave jay a clear understanding on ur antics and gave him some time to prepare for anything u had up ur sleeve
" tired already? an hour, new record babe. good job"
sim jaeyun
" why are u doing this to me "
the moment u refuse his hug and opt for a more... different greeting, jake malfunctions for a bit
he trys to hug u again but u extremely remain still
whines complains when u keep up the 'homeboy' act
"i swear we acted like a normal couple yesterday, did i make u mad pookie? 😥" sneaks in some of the petnames u absolutely LOATHE just for a reaction
hates when u replace the lovely kiss-and-hug interactions with dapping him up like a BRO
most likely complained to the enha gc abt ur 'unearthly' behaviour (u get his ass on that later) and cries that he might never see the old u again
the urge to drown him in all the love u've kept in since u met up is eating u alive But watching him practically cry over ur feet is helping u out a wee bit
"chat this is absolutely hilarious what are we thinking" "WOW! Hahaha so funny!! Such a kneeslapper! can u stop now 😐."
Hes dead serious when he says this btw Like full on eye contact with furrowed eyebrows, but a small pout is resting on his face
he was fine with the joke at first but then he just got more eager for ur touch as the hours went by
u stare for a bit before engulfing him in the biggest hug ever while peppering his face with an abundance of smooches
"finally! u dont know how long ive waited for this"
park sunghoon
" did u eat something funny? "
just stares. nothing else, just stares
eventually u have to drop ur arm because the silence just got too awkward
was he mad at u? (ofc not) Maybe hoonie just needed to load and take a bit to process the scene in front of him
"i dont think u should be doing this to your boyfriend, babe. it doesn't really fit the loving couple vibe yk 🤖"
even when sunghoon continues to act like everything's normal u keep on persisting with acting like close-bro-friends
... only to be met with the most baffled face ever.
he wonders if ure roleplaying as some character or just genuinely going insane
decides to go along with whatever you're doing and continue the day as normal as it can get
when u get tired of the lack of attention, u drop the act but unconsciously refer to him as bro
muscle memory(ish) fr
"dude can you at least act interested?" "um excuse me? what'd u just call me"
HELLO. where was this dumbfounded hoon when u need him?
ure actually laughing atp because he doesn't even look like he knew what was wrong
the whole time u kept up w the joke, he didn't even look like he cared UNTIL u got tired and talked in ur normal tone
"don't ever say 'dude' in a serious tone like that. scared me, babe."
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@ wonyrs 2023
note sorry anon for not taking ur request after like 2 weeks... i've needed some motivation to write SORRY.. also maknae version is next :> requests open!
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