#i cannot wait to have every single scene of hers in my phone :3

[biggest-vi-defender]

WOOOOOOO MY WIFE WOOOOON, WE WOOOOON VI NATION 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️💪💪

[supernaturallyliterate]

Thoughts on Heartstopper Season 2!

🛑🛑 SPOILERS AHEAD 🛑🛑

I really liked the way they switched events around but still incorporated all the main events / convos / quotes!! Like Ben asking for an apology, but instead of doing it at Tara's Bday party, they had Harry try to come in & get rejected & gave Ben's moment more depth and gave Charlie a more specific speech to be like "no, I don't forgive you, and I don't want you in my life. GTFO"

I absolutely loved every single one of Elle's outfits. And the dynamic between Elle & Tao developing their relationship! And I really really liked that we got more Tao backstory. His interactions with his mom, his heart to hearts with Nick (esp about his dad & relationship insecurities; we love a self aware king), his awkward first date with Elle at the theater

I liked Elle having more trans and non-binary friends!! And her art school journey!! Yes, give me more insight into each character's world

Naomi & Felix were iconic and I hope to see more of them! I liked that their presence also drew out Tao's insecurities and forced him to confront them. Like at the art show!!

I of course loved more focus on Tara & Darcy! I'm glad it wasn't just "Darcy is afraid to say I love you :/" and more was revealed about her homophobic parents and toxic home life! And oh my god the moment of Tara walking up to Darcy's house to check on her and meeting her mom for the first time had me SCARED. I was literally hiding behind my partner’s shoulder

I think the pacing still felt really good. And even though I knew what path the story was headed, it still felt natural when they switched things up. They maintained faithful to the original narrative while effectively adapting it to a TV show format, which is honestly SUPER impressive

And I am glad they kept in Charlie's mental health!! I think all the small switches they made really draw attention to how difficult it can be to notice an ED, anxiety, OCD, etc in someone else, even a partner. And they found good ways to express that anxiety with different conflicts and situations

IMOGEN. That girl is so bisexual. I called it last season. The vibes. The hair dye. The insistence on being "an ally." And she's totally falling for Sahar and I am HERE FOR IT.

ISSAC. I really really liked his whole arc with James. Asking Charlie how he knew he had a crush on Nick, relating to most of it, testing the waters with a kiss, and then being confused. Taking to the aroace artist at Elle's exhibition. Going back to that oh so centrally placed Ace book from earlier in the season & happily skipping off with it. I am so happy for him

TORI. Iconic, truly. Love all of her appearance and threats to people who could hurt Charlie. THE PHONE KICK SCENE, AHH. I really hope season 3 gets some sprinkles from Solitaire. They kinda hinted at some stuff to come by calling attention to Ben switching to Highs instead of staying at Truham. But I cannot wait for Michael to be introduced and the chaos to ensue.

The casting: 10000000/10

The acting: infinity / 10

The script: PERFECTION / 10

Please please please go watch or read Heartstopper. Better yet, do both.

[eviltiddyproductions]

Destined with You : Episode 10

that transition from past to present made me suddenly remember that Rowoon is gorgeous!

my man’s never changing her contact name from civil servant haunted house 💀

Jo Bo-ah’s eyes 😭😭😭 !!! I feel every emotion!

she’s so happy to see him ^•^

from the day this show premiered all of us knew they were going to fall for each other spell or not and yet here I am, grinning like a dumbass happy to hear it [except break up with that girl Sin-yu ENOUGH, let me enjoy this blossoming relationship minus the grey area]

that child 💀

wait for me is such a realistic thing to say except it never seems to work itself out in kdrama land 😭😭😭

as of now I guess let me just officially look away from their grey area situation so I can selfishly enjoy

look at her fingers !!!! look at how happy she is !!! her turning back every 3 seconds 🤣

break up with #that girl already! minus whatever she’s got going on with her other man, and whatever horrible thing she’s planning for my sister ; you have never looked at her with love in your eyes !!!!

lmao her side (piece man?) wore glasses and I didn’t recognise him for a second and thought she was meeting someone new 💀

lmao girl you can’t just walk away from a breakup??? stand up ???

well she just sat down…

despite everything I still have like zero empathy for her

lmao now the second male lead is here 😭 I got the flower bouquet peaceful moment for 4 seconds….

please let this be a dream sequence

oh thank god 💀🙏

everything about the office scene was awkward but the lift moment was surprisingly sweet (it was like 30 seconds of them being in proximity, my brain just accepts anything 😭)

this mother and younger coworker storyline and the two bosses coworker romance storyline are things that I support (why not!) but confuse me like sister the main plot has not started unfolding yet, can you take this stuff elsewhere 😭🙏

lmao she always has more heat for hongjo than sinyu like sister get your priorities straight 😭

naur he spat his wine 😂

wait he changed her name on his phone!!!

lmao babe you’re about to be surprised

that is an insane amount of beer bottles for one table 😭

the gloves

talk your shit sister! 💅

of course it was the second male lead lmao. just got pepper sprayed 💀

lmao second leads can never waste a single second like if you rejected the girl once, it’s over for you 😂😭 imagine your competition being someone who was engaged like he obviously didn’t think that man was going to win over him

Jang Sinyu get a grip for real bestie! she’s in an emotional and moral pickle because of you!!! 😍 she liked the other guy first and now has to wait for you but also feel all of these feelings lmao like let her chill.

my sister got into this weird love quadrangle spiritual past life mess before she could get one simple boyfriend

lmao this ‘pure’ talk might be their banter or whatever but it is totally not my vibe 💀

okay secretary Kim chair thing

and this is why you do not kiss around in your workplace

the way I do not know these office characters enough to root for them

you cannot feel any empathy for Nayeon like deadass bullied my sister into dropping out of school and now she’s scheming with someone terrifyingly creepy 😭🙏 STAAPPPP IT

not only is she conspiring to do voodoo on my sister, she’s getting her transferred as well…

get him Mr Kwon !!!

sister put up a little fight?

would it kill him to be a little honest with the one he claims to love 😍

THE HAND !!!!!

I ruined my life watching a show I cannot binge omg 😭. tell me now !!! lmao @the shot of Mr. Kwon clinging to the wall

[spookyserenades]

Bestie you did nottttttt leave us off like that 😭 I knew it had to be either Seokjin or Hoseok to confess to her first! I was worried that Jin would push OC away and stay distant for a while but i’m glad thats not the case. Speaking of Jin that little moment when he was texting with OC and sent her those emojis and said the cat was him was so cute I love him! Also same thing with Tae after the near kiss incident I was so sure he’d completely avoid her and tbh idk if i’m buying the i don’t remember what happened story but i’m hoping he’s telling the truth bc i cannot handle it when the hybrids distance themselves 😭

On a lighter note I will never not laugh any time Hoseok calls Jungkook and Namjoon the ghostbusters he’s such a brat lmao! I love seeing their dynamics unfold more any time we get more paranormal action. I’m curious to see what’s been haunting the Sanders family! I was thinking about how each kid must be absolutely enamored by the hybrids. For Julie it’s Jk like imagine ur mom brings some paranormal investigation group and this tall, handsome, tatted up, and pierced guy shows up to your house??? I’d come out of my room too 💀 and how Ms Sanders said her son loves wolves and how he was looking at Namjoon all starry eyed is so sweet! I can definitely see them way more open to the investigation and discussing their own experiences based on their reactions to the boys alone. It just goes to show how truly important each of the 3 members of the group are.

Ok and let me get into the smut real quick bc i simply cannot help myself. I swear Yoongi makes me want to chew on the table as well 😂 That soft dom energy he was is insane! I give so much credit to OC for not jumping his bones any time he walks into the room. Got me giggling and kicking my feet fr.

There’s so many more moments i’m sure but my little squirrel brain cannot remember them all. I swear i need to start taking notes reporting back 😂 it’s only instances like these I think I prefer wattpad’s design bc imagine how fun it would be to be able to comment on specific paragraphs in that moment. So even if i can’t recall every single moment I love, that made me smile, laugh, want to throw my phone across the room, or chew on tables at the top of my head please know that I enjoy all the little moments in each chapter and your writing is never unappreciated 🥲🫶🏻

fkjalsfjesa I'm sorry bestie!!! Luckily in the next update we pick up right were we left off with Seokjin eeeee 🥺 Seokjin was a little distant, at first, when he found out about Y/N and Yoongi, but mostly because he thought he'd never get to be with her romantically. I think after the cooking class, he just couldn't hold back his feelings anymore! AH the emojis he used 😭 he's such a cutie, just a big kitty!

Ah poor Tae blacked out... def doesn't remember the near-kiss. If he did, I'm sure he'd avoid Y/N like the plague out of embarrassment or shame :( I think he'll take some time to get comfortable with the shifting dynamics, but he's really attached to Y/N, so I don't see him icing her out for too too long.

HA I love that Hoseok is the resident skeptic. Even though he witnessed that ghost in the house, he still doesn't really get it like Namjoon and Jeongguk. Speaking of them, they've struck up an unlikely friendship with their team! I'm super excited to write their investigation scene, and find out what's haunting the family 😉 YESS you're right the two kids took a liking to each of them but gkdalgj YOURE SO RIGHT I'D LEAVE MY ROOM FOR GOTH JEONGGUK TOO. I just I'm so !!! pumped to explore this part of the plot with the 3 of them, I think it will help those two hybrids to get closer to Y/N, since they're the less affectionate, clingy ones.

OOF the smut! I'm being soooo honest I need Yoongi biblically. I'm really glad that you're chewing on the table with me,,,, I have SUCH a thing for soft doms and Yoongi definitely radiates that sooo much. Also fr I'd be in his room NIGHTLY waiting for all of that 💀

LMAOO NOT THE SQUIRREL BRAIN BESTIE!!! As for the Wattpad thought, I've been adding the chapters there and eventually when it's all caught up the monthly updates will go up there too, so if you wanna comment on specific things that might be easier 💜

I love love you!! Thank you so much for being so sweet and kind to me, and for reading Trouvaille, supporting me! Your feedback means so much, and I'm sending you one million hugs 💜💜💜

[augusteight2018]

Dear Kim Seon-Ho,

This morning, I wasn’t feeling well but decided to go to work anyway because I don’t have sick days. I did my best to pace myself and did the bare minimum just to make it through the whole day that seems to have somehow slowed down. At one point, I was so grateful to have made it to 2pm but then realized it was only 12:10 on the wall clock. IT came to “fix” my computer and it made me wonder if it was a gift from God. It took them a very long time and then I wonder if it was God actually telling me to just go home. Eventually, I did go home early and part of my body felt more sick for using my vacation time to be sick and leaving work early that isn’t 1 or 2 minutes.

The bus I wanted to take was so late. I was forced to go with plan B. On my route, I saw line of trucks as I’ve been seeing for a few days. The excitement grew inside of me but with traffic, I had to keep moving and was forced to accept that I might miss out on seeing a making of a movie. Where I ended up had more crowd and I’m thinking, it can’t be….

But it was, you. I quickly took out my phone to snap a picture of you. Thank you God, I said inside my head. How did my finally giving into being sick and missing the bus, have brought me within feet of this gorgeous actor? I don’t know, and I didn’t care. I was just so so happy. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been re playing Hometown Cha Cha Cha and pointing out to my family, “that guy, he’s the one who is in our city, right now!”

There’s a Briget Jones Diary scene where she envisions herself getting married to her crush. It’s super creepy and if others do this with me, I would be so uncomfortable. However, I do this to almost every crushes I have since grade school. It’s twisted, the hypocrisy is irritating, I know.

When I first saw you, Kim Seon-Ho, I took my picture. I felt fortunate that you were looking in my direction and smiling. There was a crowd around you and I knew I wouldn’t get close, for several reasons: I didn’t have the energy, I wasn’t feeling well and you’re not even going to notice me.

I have an appearance of below average. Yet, part of my delulu was that you would tell your staff to go and get my contact information. But the other part of me quickly slapped the delulu out by reminding myself how I look like an actual homeless person.

But don’t feel bad for delulu because it has a strong spirit. Even now, hours after I left the spot, delulu still thinks that your staff is still trying to find me.

At the time, after snapping the one photo and taking a few moments to grasp the miracle I was witnessing, I started walking home. But then while waiting for the lights, I noticed you started walking too, toward the spot I was originally at when I took my picture. I now had a chance to take a better photo. I took 2. I went ahead and crossed the street and left. This was all in a span of ~3 minutes.

Of course, I’m kicking myself for not staying there longer. I’m kicking myself for not lingering and giving myself a bigger chance at connecting with my crush or even taking better pictures. But I wasn’t feeling well. It wouldn’t have been very nice to spread whatever I had.

However, my delulu still wonder what it would be like to hook up with a celebrity like you. But my no-nonsense-cruel-realistic-me would slam that dream down pretty fast.

Snapping back to reality:

First of all, I hate getting dolled up because I’m lazy and you probably want some perfect looking specimen. I don’t blame you, you’re a celeb, you have to look and act perfect so it would be hard not to have that same standard for your dates.

Secondly, I can barely manage my own single life let alone a regular couple life let alone a dating life with a celeb like you.

But my life is pretty sweet as it is and my worst critic is myself. I cannot imagine having the eyes of the whole world on me and everyone criticizing and hating every single thing about me just because I get to be around you.

I can handle being poor and a nobody but I don’t think I can handle the highs and lows of being with a celeb. Getting dropped might just be so painful to recover from.

Ha! You might just be delighted to not have met me after reading this lengthy letter but I think it’s a fair assessment of what it might be like. So, I will close this letter by thanking the universe and God for giving me that moment where I was a few feet away from you when you are normally across the world, instead. Thank you for taking on this role that got you filming at new locations, I can’t wait to see the final product. I hope you enjoyed your time here and I hope you will come back for more projects.

Sincerely,

Me

Ps. You’re taller than I expected.

[andromebaa]

Just the Two of Us Horror Inspiration MegaPost

It's nearly Halloween so I'm going to spend an embarrassing amount of time explaining every single horror reference and inspiration in Just the Two of Us that I can recall. I'll try to include links where I can for more context.

Story in General

The biggest inspirations for Just the Two of Us were Silent Hill, Black Mirror and I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. I've always adored psychological horror and sci-fi horror and I think it reflects in this fic. Chapter 1

One of my favourite Silent Hill games is Silent Hill 4. The game is focused on a man who cannot leave his apartment. The concept of a house that cannot be escaped from is really fascinating to me and I think it played a big inspiration for the house in JtToU. I pretty much consider one of the game's songs, Tender Sugar, the unofficial theme of the fic. Time dilation in fiction is super interesting to me. I don't think it was necessarily a huge inspiration, but The Jaunt is a beautifully creepy short story that probably rolled around in my mind while I was writing this part. Chapter 3 Okay this isn't scary or intentional, but I legitimately cannot read the hydrazine cup scene anymore without thinking about that one scene from The Princess Bride. I can't believe I did not see that sooner and now I can't stop thinking about Kokichi screaming about how Greek philosophers are all morons. Chapter 4

Again, not intentionally a reference, but that scene in The Thing is Kokichi stuck in the chair lmao. Chapter 6

When the fake Shuichi talks to Kaito over the wall, one of his lines was taken directly from Waiting for You, another Silent Hill 4 song. Chapter 7 The short burst of static that Kaito hears from the phone at the end of this chapter was directly inspired by the radio from Silent Hill 2. It spurts out creepy, distorted static when an enemy is nearby. Chapter 8 Okay the good stuff now. This chapter, especially the first half of the house (a distorted version of Kokichi and/or Oma's apartment), was directly inspired by the movie Skinamarink. That movie follows a young child trapped in a house with no windows or doors and a weird, malevolent force lurking over them. I really wanted the whole vibe of that section to reflect this. There was also definitely heavy inspiration from Silent Hill, particularly Lakeview Hotel in Silent Hill 2. The design of Shadow Child was inspired by the Larval Stalkers in Silent Hill 1. Chapter 10 Mani-Kun is a love letter to every single creepy mannequin in every horror game ever. Love you, you absolute freaks <3 Chapter 11 Miu's copy being stuck in P.A.L was definitely inspired by a bunch of different things, especially SOMA and this fantastic animated short To Be. Love some of that existential am I real or just a copy sort of thing. Chapter 12 The horror movie that Kaito mentions during the game of Two Truths and a Lie is Event Horizon. I honestly don't know how he could have sat through it, let alone enjoyed it. He probably had nightmares for weeks afterward. Chapter 13 Miu standing in the corner like a creepy fuck was inspired by the ending of the Blair Witch Project. Her whole transformation was greatly inspired by AM from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, particularly the whole ghost without a machine idea. Chapter 14 This whole chapter was basically created as if it was a level in Silent Hill and Kaito was the protagonist lmao, especially when he explores the hospital. It even has a boss battle! I feel like the loop and the leech spouting terrifying stuff was definitely inspired by P.T in particular though. The dirty bathroom and the fact they are chained up in it is a very very obvious Saw reference lmao not even trying to hide that. Miu mentions she could turn one of them into a soft, jelly thing - that's taken word from word from the ending of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Chapter 16

This chapter, particularly when Kokichi is still trapped in the debug room, was definitely inspired by Omori. Just the concept of a character in denial over a very bad thing which makes them blank out any awfulness in an act of self-preservation. The whole talking to another version of yourself was also inspired by the Stephen King story Gerald's Game. I love the idea of an isolated character having to converse with themself in order to stay sane or rationalise things. The creepy Judas Cradle chair from the hospital flashback was definitely Saw-inspired. Also it was an actual torture device that has been used in the past so that's fun. Chapter 19

Momota's personality and traits were heavily inspired by Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. The scene where he ties up Kokichi and the whole conversation he has with Miu in the snowy cabin are probably the best examples of this lmao.

Also a guy chasing after his partner and kids with an ax in a bloodthirsty rampage in the snow? Guess we need to tick off yet another Stephen King reference lmao. I swear that one was unintentional though. Oh yeah, their kids are named after Satoshi Kon (creator of psychological horror masterpieces like Perfect Blue and Paranoia Agent) and Koji Suzuki (author of The Ring and Dark Water).

Chapter 20

Kokichi's transformation into a leech was heavily inspired by I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Again, another reference to the soft, jelly line as well. Momota's rant about how much he hates Kaito was kind of inspired by AM's rant .

That's about it! At least, what I can recall ahaha. But yeah I love horror with all my heart and soul <3

[uroborosymphony]

did you say…memes 👀👀👀 okie how about 3 for quinn from the black knight??

Quinn & The Black Knight.

#3 THINGS YOU SAID WHEN YOU WERE PROUD. FROM THINGS YOU SAID ⬩ Still accepting.

"You look at me, treat me, talk to me like and keep me here like I'm a criminal. But deeeeeep down," Her crooked smile widens, in her signature whiskers, sly as a feline, proud as a cocky and cunty fox. "Deep down, you wish you were a little more like me Black Knight, don't you?" Her teeth are showing, a grin, deranged and hungry for more of This. Even though she was indeed kept captive, by the Black Knight and his crew, it wasn't so much prison for her if not the extension of her playground. An agenda. Quinn always had an agenda. "Congratulations on capturing me by the way, three against one waaw that's Impressive, that is Honorable even- No no, really I mean that and I cannot wait to get to know all of you." Her smile drops as the light of in her eyes darkens, only to light up again, a constant manic on-and-off switch while her eyes re-direct towards the surveillance camera at the up corner of the interrogation room. "Hey you hear that? I am thriiilled, oh so happy to be here. Pawn, Rook. Tell me who else is watching this? The almighty resting bitch faced Kang girl? Monitoring a pretty girl like me in a cage all day, mmm, that's a little kinky if you think about it." She pinches her teeth in between her lips, raising an eyebrow. "Listen. You and I both know I'm going to escape, I've already figured a way to since the very moment I stepped foot in here. Chloroformed or not, I always can tell where I am stand. Even in the dark, I know every single corner of this dirty city. So yell your little degenerates over there to tie me up if they really ant to keep me longer, my claws are sharp and my brain? Sharper." Was she bluffing? "That and the very real fact that My king and Love of my life Already looking for me as we speak, followed by an entiiiire armed and ready-to-shoot-you-in-the-face Gang for treating their Queen the way you do. There is a chip in my phone, have your little butlers destroy it or else they're coming for all of your asses. And Oh, at Fang, we're whimsical like this, we do love a bloody mess." Her eyes now, her eyes are linking with his. "That's right. I want us to talk before I get the chance to leave. I know. None of you has trust in me but you're clever enough to go past that. This business is not about trust, it's not about Oh She's a Little Crazy let's be Careful - it's about getting results. And I get shit done. I get shit done fast. Yes, YES, SUUURE, this little stunt I put off with Hyuk was a liiiiittle all over the top but... hey, at least I got all of you's attention... right." She speaks, her tone trailing at the mention of the other man, knowing it was perhaps her biggest mistake, knowing it was going a little too far. Was it a regret of hers? Maybe. Her eyes go down slightly., for a mere second. She could never deny it, there was a bond with the Detective, one of mutual respect and hardworking archieving personalities. His team as well, it became place where she strangely felt accepted, perhaps even a birthing friendship with Suki around their morning coffees. If it wasn't for all the insane games and lies Quinn played with, it could have been something nice. Her pride however, refused to let her admit that in front of the Knight, ever. "I did it to protect my own, to protect my pack the way you are protecting yours by chaining me down like an animal. And you know what? I am proud." Her voice changes, as the taint in her pupils does too, a little more calm spreading under her skin. "I'm proud of being an Actor in this scene we're standing on Black Knight. I'm proud of making moves, I'm proud of showing clawns when it comes to protect my family, I'm proud of teaching the persecutors we're Not low lives they can mess with as they please, I'm proud of making it to the news after the Rich and the Powerful feel like their heads too have a price.

Don't you see it? That people like you and I are already dead? Can't you feel it? At every corner of every streets of this city a bullet in the head is right here, waiting for us. So tell me, what exactly is your plan here, what are you waiting for? Because we're not fighting for our little comforts as Doctors and Teachers getting a check for educating the youth through a system we don't even believe in. Don't you get it? That our time to do something is Now, that we have to give our bones and blood to truly make a difference? It's time to wake up Myungdae. It's time to step up and perhaps stepping up should start with uniting. The game has changed, look at your board. I was never the enemy but we have one in common. That's right, the more we sit down for tea parties like this one, the more they're slipping out of your hands and mine.

ANACHRON."

[daikon1]

My 2022 Fanfic Year in Review!

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but 2022 has been a rough one for me. Between challenges in my offline life and modding for the Drops of Moonlight Zine eating up most of my fandom time and energy, I didn’t write as much as I might have liked in other years.

Anyway, here’s my Ao3 Wrapped!!

Fair warning, spoilers for anything I posted this year abound below the cut!!

1. List of fics completed this year:

Well, I changed some of how I post this year (for example, I stopped posting to FFN entirely and decided to use ‘collections’ on Ao3 instead of chapters going forward for related but standalone shorts/one shots).

That said, I completed 5 fics:

A (Blind) Date with Destiny!

Moving In

then you showed up and I can’t get enough

We Do This Every Time

I Know All About Your Reputation (This is Bound to be a Heartbreak Situation)

I also began a new ongoing multichapter, Close to Home.

2. Number of words written:

61,054 that have been posted - fewer than previous years, but more than I’d thought!

3. Your most popular fic this year:

Of what I posted this year, (Blind) Date got the most hits, but overall The Runner-Up remained quite popular and got a lot of engagement.

4. Your personal favourite this year:

This is always a cruel question, given that everything I write feels like my baby/a part of me. The two I was most actively excited/couldn’t stop while writing were Blind Date and then you showed up… so… coin flip between the two?

5. Your favourite scene:

I *loved* writing the date in Blind Date with Destiny. Their dancing around each other and flirting and playing that ‘but do you remember me and if you don’t do I have to tell you’ game was SO MUCH FUN and basically flowed directly out of my brain and onto the page.

6. A fic or scene that challenged you:

Day six of my UsaMamo week fic (We Do This Every Time) gave me a lot of trouble. Turns out it’s hard to consolidate an entire arc from an anime into a single chapter, who knew 🤣

7. A line of writing you’re proud of:

I feel like this is always the hardest question to answer and the one I put off until the very end, in part because when you write 60k+ words in a year (which comes out to like 2.5k sentences the way I write them), it’s hard to single out one!!

This year, I’m going to highlight this line from Close to Home:

Mamoru took an obnoxiously slow sip from his water glass. “Do you bring a lot of dates home?” he asked in an offhand way that made her want to dump her curry on top of his perfectly coiffed hair.

8. A comment that touched you:

I always feel like I get too many sweet reviews to single out just one; in fact, I now have a designated folder in my email titled “Review Joy” where I file away some of the ones I want to revisit when I’m feeling low. So here is a much-too-short and entirely non-exhaustive roundup of a few snippets from some of my favorite reviews this year:

Just crossed your story today and *had* to go on Ao3 to read the second part!

I can’t picture things clearly or for long in my mind, but this scene was crystal clear, at least Usagi bowing to the little rabbit and talking in a friendly, but quiet and gentle, almost reverential way because Usako was part of Mamoru, vulnerable, almost like part of his soul.

I love all the check-ins for consent - they were so natural!! So good!! Thank you for writing!!

The scene of him putting things together was also suitably spooky and conspiratorial, like the ending of the Usual Suspects kinda.

Ngl I was SHRIEKING AT MY PHONE when I saw she'd written something SO SWEET into the book?! AND THEN DASHED LIKE THE LITTLE ADORABLE IDIOT SHE IS?

I’m always filled with excitement when I see a new story from you and it never disappoints. This is an absolutely wonderful beginning filled with emotions and sweetness and I cannot wait to see where you lead us.

Seeing bisexual rep in usagi meant the world to me as a young, questioning teen, and seeing you showcase that here and have her friends be so knowing & accepting of that really just made my heart feel so whole <3

Impeccable plotline, character depictions, and the fluff was *chef’s kiss*!!! 20/10!!!

I wish I could showcase all of every review I’ve received this year, but sadly I would run out of space way too fast. Just know that if you’ve taken the time to review for me, I am grateful from the bottom of my heart 🙏🏻

9. Something that inspired your writing this year:

Okay so I’ve already disclaimed it in the author’s note, but My Ex’s Best Friend by Machine Gun Kelly is the entire reason that then you showed up… exists.

Like honestly the line “I swear to god I never fall in love” just STUCK IN MY BRAIN as a very Mamoru-ish sentiment and I had to explore it. With instalove semi-blind-date hijinks.

10. Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Probably have to go with finishing day 6 (Reunion) of UsaMamo week this year (We Do This Every Time). I basically knew what I wanted to do with it as soon as the prompts dropped, but actually whipping it into shape and getting it to be near the level I envisioned it took me longer than I hoped it would!! Was very proud to get that monster off my TBW list 🤣

11. Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I would like to refill my tank, tbh. As I mentioned above, it’s been a rough year and in many ways I’m running on fumes - and I do think that’s been reflected in my writing (or lack thereof) in this back half of the year.

So in an ideal world, I’d like to have the time and bandwidth to feel excited about writing again. And maybe also make some progress on Close to Home.

————

As always, I would love to see some other people do these! I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you see this and want to participate, consider yourself tapped in.

Cheers to the end of 2022!! May 2023 be a gentle and healthy year for you and yours 😘

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

[squishneedsahero]

Ductape and Superglue

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 13 of 13

Word Count: 1607

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

Bruce got a call, one that he had never gotten before even if he had always dreaded it. A phone call during a Wayne Enterprises meeting from someone demanding money and sending a picture of you tied to a chair. You had that normal fire in your eyes in the picture and it was obvious you weren't hurt but still no one wants their wife held hostage and threatened with a gun or worse.

Tim looks over Bruce's shoulder at the photo on the phone screen. His heart leaps to his throat and he pulls out his phone, already working on figuring out where it is you are located from the little he can see in the picture. He and Bruce were here in a meeting it would only make sense to call the GCPD and not run out the door to get you to safety. Tim knows Bruce though, always thinking everything through except for when it came to you. He would do anything in the world to keep you happy and safe.

Tim's hand coming to rest on Bruce's upper arm pulls him back to the reality that is that he cannot run out the door to your rescue. "You call Alfred, I'll call the GCPD," that's all he says and that's all it takes to set things in motion.

Two phone calls are made and those lead to two more made by Alfred and Damian who he had just picked up from school. Alfred calls Jason and Damian calls Dick, they are the only ones who get notified in the moment to go get you but it's enough.

Cass is on a date with Steph, they're the next to get a phone call from Tim, just informing them of the situation but making it clear that they are not needed at the scene. Stephanie protests this and tries to claim that you'd need Spoiler's help as well. You were as much of a mother to her and Cass as any of the boys even if only Cass was officially adopted. In the end the two girls go to the Mansion to wait with Alfred and coordinate things from the cave with Babs who is there upon their arrival.

Damian liked to think he still disliked you and could barely tolerate you. But even if he wouldn't admit it he was more scared on your behalf than he had ever thought he'd be. Despite him being horribly rude to you, you had never been anything but nice even if your nice included sarcastic comments to prove your point. You had helped him learn what a family was supposed to be like.

Jason gets a call from Alfred and he is changed and out the door of his apartment before the call is over. You were his Ma and he was your Jaybear, and he wouldn't be letting you get hurt. Alfred was the one person you had given his phone number too even though he had told you to keep it a secret, but in this moment he was glad you had.

This leaves Dick, who had gotten a call from Damian, telling him the situation and that he would be joining him at the warehouse. Dick was with Babs at the mansion so the two head to the cave where Barbara takes over in the computer while Dick changes and hurries out the door to go get you.

Things seem like they're going smooth when the three boys arrive one shortly after the other. Jason is already in and picking off the men in the surrounding area and getting you out of the chair when Dick and Dami burst in and start taking out more guys. You're safe and that's all that matters to any of them.

But then there's that singular gunshot and all three of their hearts skip a beat. Damian sees you slide the rest of the way into the next room but the other two just see the door swing closed behind you. None of them know where you had been hit and if you were okay on the other side of that door. But they can't walk away from the fight in the middle of it. Once all the men are down Jason takes off too you, not giving Damian or Dick the chance and leaving them to tie the guys up.

"Mama?" Jason asks, slipping into old habits in his fear.

"Hey Jaybear, I'm fine, it's just my leg," you comfort him quickly but let him take care of your leg for you. You'll have to go to the hospital as it's the only proper thing to do but he stops the bleeding and gives you a tight hug.

The other two boys come in and you smile and comfort them, telling them all how proud of them you are. This gets interrupted by police sirens outside. You quickly shoo them away and let Bruce know you're safe, knowing your husband would want to come after you himself at this point but you were fine. You needed to let the police take you to the hospital and make all of this look somewhat normal and not like a family problem.

You spend a few hours at the hospital, getting stitches and a brace since the bullet had ripped through your muscles, leaving your leg weak. When they let you go they push you out in a wheelchair and give you a pair of crutches.

Media personnel try to crowd you and get answers for their many questions. You shut them up with one of your classic, "I'm fine now leave me alone to be with my family or you will start your own newspaper to post stories about them and slowly put them out of business." It was a good threat that worked every time. If it didn't work then you just added in the idea of getting photos of their butts to add to the articles, titling it "the asses of Gotham"

You choose to spend the early evening watching movies on the couch with your family. Cass and Steph take their own chair to cuddle in, same with Dick and Babs. This leaves you to cuddle with Bruce and Tim and surprisingly Damian sits next to you, kicking Tim out of his normal spot meaning you had no choice but to sit in Bruce's lap so the boys can both sit next to you.

Alfred wished you well upon your arrival home, then returned to make dinner for all of you even if you tried to tell him to just order pizza. "No, miss Wayne, you were shot today and need a healthy meal," he responds much to your annoyance with him calling you miss, as though you were a child and your parent had called you by both your first and middle name.

All of you aren't far into the movie when you get interrupted by Jason entering the family room. You light up at the sight of him and before Bruce can stop you you're out of his lap and over Jason wrapping him in a hug. How you made it that far without falling due to torn ligaments no one knew but you were now in Jason's arms and he could keep you steady. You make him lean over so you can kiss his forehead before you make him come sit on the couch where you had been.

When he tries to object you give him that stern mom look and he obediently comes and sits next to you, and Damian on the opposite end of the couch from Bruce. Things definitely were tense between the two but you don't care, it's a start.

You finally have your whole family back under one roof for the moment. Your four boys, one girl and two unofficial girls. You loved every single one of them so much and were so glad that you were all together again. They all knew how much you loved them, and how you took time for each of them, the only reason Jason was getting extra attention was because he had been gone for so long.

It had hurt so very much when he had suddenly been taken from you. The pain of loosing a child wasn't anything you plus bear even if you had had too for years. You all share a nice dinner together then because you had all spent so much time together Bruce insisted that the city would be fine for the night with just the kids and that he needed to stay and make sure you were taken care of.

For the first time in a long time things were relatively peaceful for your family, even if you had a leg wound. You had them all together and would now be able to work with Jason and Bruce on their relationship and getting it back to a less tense father son relationship. Damian was finally truly giving you a chance. Dick was on good terms with Bruce, and he was happy with Babs, even talking about marriage in the future. Tim was helping Bruce run the company and he was brilliant at it, plus he seemed truly happy for the first time in his life as he had recently started officially dating Conner. This just left Steph and Cass who were about to graduate high school and were looking at apartments, planning to move in together despite almost already doing so since Stephanie always seemed to be at the manor. It wasn't a typical life but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

The End... idk

[creambunnie]

Hello Baby ❤💜💚💛💙💓

ONEWE fluff - Yonghoon, Kanghyun (Hyungu), Harin, Dongmyeong, CyA (Giuk)

"hello Hyungu, are you free right now? it's urgent!"

"eh Yonghoon hyung? yeah i'm free, what's wrong?"

"UWAAAAAAA"

.....

"hyung was that a cat??"

"what? noooo, it's a baby!"

"oh i thought so, it was weird if you had a ca-- WHAT? A BABY?"

Hyungu stared at Yonghoon who was wearing a baby carrier as he entered Yonghoon's apartment. Yonghoon had his index finger on his lips, asking Hyungu to keep quiet as to not wake up the baby in his arms.

"why do you have a baby?? oh my god, did you pick it up from somewhere?" Hyungu whispered as he panicked.

Yonghoon sighed and knocked Hyungu's head softly.

"don't be ridiculous, Kang Hyungu. this is my cousin's son. her mother in-law just passed on so she asked me to look after her son for a while as she helps her husband settle the funeral and all."

Hyungu took a seat on the sofa, still processing the whole situation.

"so why the heck did you agree if you have never in your whole life babysit a... a baby?"

Yonghoon gulped and scratched his neck awkwardly.

"i misread her text. i thought her son was 10 years old, but it's actually 10 months... i couldn't reject her when she already brought her baby and all his things here."

Hyungu massaged his temples.

"how long?"

"a week."

"A WEEK?"

"shush Hyungu you are going to wake Minsoo up!" Yonghoon scolded Hyungu in whisper.

Yonghoon decided to contact Hyungu first because he lived the nearest. the baby was sleeping when he was brought here but the moment his mother left him into Yonghoon's care, he woke up and started crying.

Yonghoon panicked and called Hyungu right away, and while waiting for Hyungu to come, he tried to soothe Minsoo down with a lullaby.

Hyungu finally calmed down and approached Minsoo who was still in the carrier. he stared at the doll-like sleeping baby and let out a chuckle.

"naww Minsoo is so cute"

"i know, it's cause i'm his uncle"

Hyungu rolled his eyes and fished out his phone.

"i'm telling the others. you and me taking care of a baby is not enough, we need the whole squad."

Yonghoon hesitated for a bit because he didn't want to bother the others, but Hyungu was right. the two of them were not enough.

Hyungu and Yonghoon were busy lying Minsoo down carefully on the sofa that they didn't notice the beeping sound from the front door.

"baby Minsoo~ your Giuk hyung is here!!"

the two older boys' eyes widened at the sudden loud voice. a high pitch crying started filling their ears.

"i am so sorry, i didn't know Minsoo was sleeping!" Giuk apologised as Yonghoon was frantically making milk in the kitchen while Hyungu was trying to calm Minsoo down in the living room.

"can you help me check if the milk is okay instead? i mean your age is the nearest to the baby, so"

Giuk was confused at his hyung's nonsense but he was guilty so he poured some milk on his hand to taste it.

"uhm i think it's fine? it's a bit hot tho??"

"oh my god, why is it so chaotic in here?? no one even noticed we entered, Harin hyung."

Harin scanned the scenes happening and quietly but efficiently tried to handle the situations.

"Dongmyeong, go help Hyungu calm the baby. i will check on Yonghoon hyung"

Dongmyeong gently took the baby from Hyungu. he craddled Minsoo in his arms and swayed back and forth until he calmed down.

"well aren't you a cutie?" Dongmyeong cooed and poked the baby's nose softly. Minsoo stared at Dongmyeong confusedly and giggled.

"low low!!" Minsoo babbled and reached his hands out to Dongmyeong's neck. Hyungu noticed Dongmyeong's necklace and chuckled.

"he is so smart! he said yellow~" Hyungu was amazed at the 10-month old kid.

Yonghoon, Harin and Giuk finally went to living room with a warm bottle of milk.

"here, feed Minsoo the milk first" Harin passed the bottle to Dongmyeong.

Yonghoon, Hyungu and Giuk sighed in relief and plopped on the sofa side by side.

"how are you and Dongmyeong good at this, Harin??"

Harin chuckled and carressed Minsoo's head gently.

"we are not good at it, hyung. it's just that you guys were panicking so more panic won't do good. i just had to be the calm one just now. also, we had more time to prepare mentally, so no worries hyung, you will do just fine!" Harin humbly comforted.

Yonghoon thanked Harin and took Minsoo from Dongmyeong.

"Yonghoon hyung, what's this?" Giuk asked as he found a small booklet in Minsoo's bag.

"oh my cousin said that's a list of food that Minsoo can and cannot eat."

"great!! pass me that Giuk. i was just about to ask about this. Dongmyeong and I bought some ingredients for dinner, Hyungu, you wanna help us cook?" Hyungu gave Harin a thumbs up and followed the two into the kitchen.

Yonghoon and Giuk contiued playing with Minsoo in the living room.

"baby~~ Giuk hyung bought a looot of plushies for you! which one do you like ?" Giuk neatly placed the plushies in line in front of Minsoo and waited for him to choose.

Minsoo looked up at Giuk with his big round eyes as if he understood what Giuk said clearly.

"wook! wook!" Minsoo exclaimed and reached for the hamster plushie.

Yonghoon poked Minsoo's chubby cheek in admiration.

"you two are really friends, huh," Yonghoon chuckled as Giuk continued making short 'conversations' with Minsoo.

Minsoo warmed up to the boys quite easily and giggled alot while playing. Yonghoon was relieved he had awesome brothers who could help him out.

"let's eat~~" Dongmyeong called as he set the dining table. as Minsoo was in Giuk's good hands, Yonghoon helped Dongmyeong while Harin and Hyungu brought out the dishes for dinner.

"i even made Minsoo some baby chicken porridge~" Harin excitedly said as he showed Minsoo his own bowl of food.

"nyam nyam!!" Minsoo was already salivating at the delicious smell.

"hyung,, your cousin didn't bring Minsoo's high chair, right?" Hyungu asked after scanning the whole apartment.

"mm, it's fine, Minsoo will just sit on my lap and one of you can feed him."

the 5 boys took turns eating and feeding Minsoo.

"zoooom! good boy, Minsoo~" Giuk praised the baby as he happily took a big bite of the porridge.

Dongmyeong also took a big bite of the dakgalbi that they cooked and hummed in delight.

"it's been so long since we've had a family dinner like this~"

Giuk looked at Dongmyeong weirdly. "but we just did last week.."

Dongmyeong shushed Giuk and shook his head.

"last week was sooo long ago!! we need to eat dinner together more frequently."

Yonghoon only chuckled at the younger boy's wish.

"sure, we can have family dinner everyday for this whole week~"

Dongmyeong and Giuk were on their semester break, while Yonghoon and Hyungu worked from home. Harin was the only one who had to go to the office.

"so Harin, can you teach us some things like how to make the perfect temperature milk, and how to cook the food for Minsoo?" Hyungu requested as he wiped Minsoo's messy lips.

Harin of course agreed, he wanted Minsoo to experience the best care from his brothers.

after the yummy dinner, Yonghoon and Giuk did the dishes while the other 3 boys played with Minsoo.

"what colour is this, Minsoo?" Hyungu showed the baby a penguin plushie.

"woooo~~" Hyungu hugged Minsoo softly, refraining himself from squishing the baby for being too cute. "you are correct! that is blue!"

Dongmyeong hummed as he thought of something.

"Yonghoon hyung, Giuk, come here quickly after you finished. we gotta introduce ourselves properly to Minsoo!".

the boys sat in a line as Yonghoon carried Minsoo. he made eye contact with Minsoo and started introducing himself.

"Minsoo, i am Uncle Yonghoon!" "hoon~~"

"i am Uncle Hyungu!" "gugu~"

"i am Uncle Harin!" "rinnie~"

"i am Uncle Dongmyeong!" "meong~~"

"i am Giuk hyung!" "wook wook!!"

for every response, Minsoo either got a peck on his cheek or a carress on his small round head.

"now that's done, let's lay out the futons in the living room. we are having a sleepover~" Yonghoon happily announced.

since Minsoo started yawning, the boys decided to quickly turn the lights off and go to sleep with the baby. it was quite a tiring day afterall.

the night was calm, Minsoo didn't make a single fuss while sleeping. he must have felt really comfortable with the boys, or he was just too tired after a lot of playing earlier.

"wow... i thought they were the same age." Harin whispered. the other 3 boys giggled at his words as they looked at Giuk and Minsoo all cuddled up. it was a cute scene to wake up to.

Harin woke up early to prepare food for Minsoo's meals and at the same time he taught Dongmyeong and Hyungu too. the other boys only need to heat them up when it's time to eat.

Giuk and Dongmyeong played and took care of Minsoo most of the time as the two older boys were working. Giuk even took a bath with Minsoo and made bubbles for him.

Minsoo was really a good baby. after warming up to the boys, he rarely cried. only when he was hungry, he would whine a little but goes back to being the giggly baby when he was fed.

Giuk and Dongmyeong were resting while Minsoo was playing with some plushies by himself. Dongmyeong almost dozed off when Giuk nudged him softly. "hey, Minsoo is saying something."

Minsoo was cutely sitting in front of the entrance with his hamster plushie. he looked up and stared at the doorknob as he mumbled.

"rinnie... rinnie... unc rinnie."

Dongmyeong and Giuk chuckled at the cuteness. it was 5pm, about an hour left before Harin comes back.

Yonghoon suddenly went out of his room and scooped Minsoo up.

"i finished my work for today. should i bring Minsoo out for a walk and welcome Harin?"

Hyungu closed his laptop and volunteered to follow Yonghoon.

"Dongmyeong and Giuk should rest."

"mm Hyungu hyung. Dongmyeong and I will prepare the ingredients for dinner after we rest for abit."

the two older boys nodded and prepared to go out with Minsoo.

they walked and reached a playground near the apartment. since Minsoo was too small to go down the slide by himself, Hyungu carried him and played together. everytime Hyungu and Minsoo reached the bottom, Yonghoon would make funny noises, making the baby giggle loudly.

after playing on the slide for a few times, Hyungu and Yonghoon sat on the empty swings side by side. Minsoo was securely seated on Hyungu's lap as he swung back and forth slowly.

"foooshh~" Minsoo cutely babbled as he felt the wind hit his face.

Yonghoon and Hyungu looked at each other and chuckled at the adorable baby.

"oh Minsoo, look who's here !" Yonghoon prompted as he pointed to the busstop. Hyungu stood up to let Minsoo see.

"rinnie!!!! unc rinnie!!" Minsoo exclaimed excitedly.

Harin heard the baby's voice from afar and jogged to the three boys.

"aww did Minsoo wait for Uncle Harin?"

Minsoo looked at Harin with sparkles in his eyes and grinned. Harin chuckled and took Minsoo from Hyungu.

"you are so cute!! look at you drooling from being too excited~" Harin cooed and wiped Minsoo's chin with Yonghoon's help.

"let's go home and prepare for dinner!"

"mm mm Hoon nyam nyam!" Minsoo mumbled and pointed to the apartment.

"yes Uncle Yonghoon's nephew is so smart, like uncle like nephew~~" Yonghoon praised.

Harin and Hyungu just went on with him, as long as their oldest brother was happy.

during dinner, Dongmyeong excitedly suggested the idea he and Giuk thought of together earlier.

"how about we go on a picnic at the park this weekend ? Minsoo is going to love spending time with all 5 of us outside!"

the baby happily clapped his hands when he heard his name being said.

"meong meong!!"

"hehe yess Uncle Dongmyeong loves you too~" Dongmyeong scrunched his nose as he poked Minsoo's round cheek.

"that's a good idea! the weather these days seem nice too" Yonghoon acknowledged.

"then it is set! we can go buy some ingredients for the picnic too when we go grocery shopping tomorrow." Hyungu suggested.

as planned, Hyungu and Dongmyeong went to the supermarket the next day and brought Minsoo with them. they made sure Minsoo was full first before going out. Hyungu tightened the baby carrier and pecked Minsoo's head.

"let's go~"

Dongmyeong was relieved the supermarket was not that crowded. he quickly took the things they wrote on the shopping list to not waste any time.

"gugu! gugu!" Minsoo called as he tried to reach for something behind Hyungu.

"hmm?" Hyungu turned around and saw a brightly packed biscuits. the bright orange colour must have attracted Minsoo.

"i don't think you can eat those yet, baby.."

"gugu?" Minsoo pouted.

Hyungu sighed and poked Minsoo's small nose.

"alright, we'll buy it for the packaging"

"gugu!!!" Minsoo happily exclaimed when he saw Hyungu putting the packet into the cart.

after buying the groceries and things for the weekend picnic, Hyungu and Dongmyeong decided to walk around the shopping mall for a bit.

"oh my god hyung!! that is super cute~ can we buy it for Minsoo? pleaaase!" Dongmyeong pleaded as he pulled Hyungu into a baby store.

the outfit Dongmyeong saw was a cute brown overalls. it was too cute to be ignored.

"yayy! we can dress him up in the new outfit this weekend!"

Minsoo was a simple baby, when people around him were happy, he's also happy. Minsoo bounced excitedly to Dongmyeong's voice in the baby carrier.

"okay baby,, uncles are also excited to hang out with you~"

the long awaited weekend was finally here. the 5 boys were busy with their own tasks. Yonghoon was fixing the baby car seat, Harin and Hyungu were packing the food they made for the picnic, while Dongmyeong and Giuk were dressing Minsoo up.

Dongmyeong can't help but squish Minsoo's cheeks because he was extra cute after Giuk tied his thin hair into two small ponytails.

"omo, who is this handsome baby? of course no other than handsome Uncle Yonghoon's nephew~" Yonghoon sang as soon as he entered the house.

"but we are all handsome uncles and hyung, right Minsoo?" Dongmyeong held Minsoo's small hand and shook it gently.

Minsoo grinned. "meooong~".

after Hyungu and Harin were finished packing, the 6 boys finally started on their journey to the flower park.

"Minsoo~ look here!" Dongmyeong called out as Harin quickly snapped a few pictures of the cute baby.

"hey, let's take a family selfie!" Yonghoon suggested as he held Minsoo close to his chest. the other 4 boys gathered closer to Yonghoon as Harin took their picture.

the boys managed to find a spot under a big tree so they were shaded from the hot sun. they ate the food and snacks that Harin and Hyungu made deliciously. even Minsoo asked for seconds.

they then played around with Minsoo, Yonghoon sang some nursery rhymes for his cute nephew as the other boys did some simple moves that Minsoo could follow. they made sure Minsoo was having a fun time with them.

"oh Minsoo, it's your mom!" Yonghoon quickly answered the videocall from his cousin. his cousin would call everyday to check on Minsoo and the boys.

"hi noona!"

"hi Yonghoon! i heard you guys are on a picnic now? is Minsoo doing okay? did he make a fuss ?"

"Minsoo is fine, he is a good boy! here look at him!"

Yonghoon turned the phone so the camera was facing Minsoo.

"Minsoo~ it's mommy!"

"mama!!"

"aww look at your outfit today ! it's so cute, your uncles really have a good taste in clothings. Minsoo, mommy miss you so much. i will fetch you tomorrow, okay?"

Yonghoon turned back the phone and continued talking with his cousin.

"and boys, Minsoo looks so happy today! he must really love you boys so much! i know i say this everyday but thank you so much for taking good care of my son! you boys continue having fun together okay,, see you tomorrow!".

after bidding goodbye, the 5 boys continued playing with Minsoo. they stayed at the park for a few more hours. Minsoo even took a nap on Yonghoon's lap while his uncles enjoyed the fresh breeze.

it had been a while since they were able to relax with nature. not that they were too busy to do that, it just didn't cross their mind to spend time like this together. they were grateful to Minsoo because he gave them the opportunity to experience such a fun time.

the next morning was awkwardly gloomy. Minsoo's things were already organised at one side of the house. the 5 boys were playing with Minsoo in the living room as if playing together yesterday at the park wasn't enough.

"i'm so attached to Minsoo already. i don't think i can sleep without him tonight." Giuk sadly said as he carressed Minsoo's arm who was holding onto the hamster plushie that he gave on the first day that they met.

"i had fun making his baby food. it's amazing how this little thing could eat other than milk. thanks for enjoying my cooking, Minsoo! Uncle Rinnie will cook again for you when you are bigger!".

Yonghoon sighed and pouted. "you guys staying over for a whole week was so much fun. i'm gonna feel so lonely when you guys go back home."

"aww hyung,, you know we will always visit you. me especially! i will crash into your apartment often!" Dongmyeong comforted.

"yeah hyung, Minsoo or no Minsoo, we are always a call away!" Hyungu supported.

the gloomy atmosphere turned gloomier when the front door bell was rung. it was time to send Minsoo off back to his parents.

Yonghoon greeted his cousin and invited her in as the other boys took turns giving Minsoo a goodbye hug.

"take good care of mr hamster okie? wook hyung loves Minsoo so much!"

"Uncle Gugu also loves Minsoo! stay healthy, baby."

"my cute cute Minsoo, Uncle Meong loves you so much."

"you have to eat well and grow up healthily, okay? Uncle Rinnie also loves Minsoo!"

Yonghoon was the last one to hug. he was sad but he knew he had a higher chance of meeting Minsoo more in the future as they were close relatives.

"the next time we meet, you must be healthy, alright Minsoo? Uncle Hoon loves Minsoo soooo much!".

Yonghoon's cousin took Minsoo from his arms and bowed to the 5 boys.

"thank you so much for taking a really good care of Minsoo. i'm sure he had a good time with you boys. tell me when you all are available, i would like to treat you all to a meal. a meal is not even enough, honestly. maybe two or three meals would be great too!"

after Minsoo's father took all of his things, it was really time to part ways now. Minsoo was not smiling nor crying. he just stared at his five uncles blankly as he waved goodbye with his tiny hand. it was hard to close the front door but they eventually had to leave.

the once lively living room was now so quiet. it was amazing how 1 baby could make the mood so happy. now that he went back home, the 5 boys felt empty.

Harin sighed as he sat up. "guys, i miss Minsoo already.."

it had only been about 2 hours since Minsoo left.

"me too.." Hyungu mumbled.

"Yonghoon hyung, can we videocall Minsoo? pleaaase!" Dongmyeong requested.

of course Yonghoon would agree. he wanted to see his cute nephew's face. Yonghoon texted his cousin in advance before giving her a call.

"hi Minsoo!" the 5 boys greeted in sync as soon as Minsoo's face popped up on the phone screen.

Minsoo whose expression was blank like earlier turned into a happy smile. his eyes sparkled when he saw the 5 boys that he was already missing too.

"UNCS!!" ('uncles' but baby talk)

no matter how many kilometres apart they were from each other, the 6 boys' hearts were still as closely packed together as ever.

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a/n : i've always wanted to see ONEWE taking care of a kid, so i wrote a whole imagine for it 😂 hope yall enjoyed it!

[atalho-s]

Sweet Sugar

1 | Subterranean Homesick Alien

(gif it’s not mine! let me know if you’re the owner!)

pairing: tom holland x reader / tom holland x brazilian reader (she’s from brazil here, but you can picture her being of any place that you want! Since the story wouldn’t change bc of that) 

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut, but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.4 k

Summary: Y/n has always been best friends with Harrison and Tom. Since childhood they've always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom?

A conflict of feelings, the non-acceptance of falling in love and the fear of losing her best friend, all in the head of an 17-year-old teenager. And on top of that, still having to fear of not being accepted for college.

a/n: 

This is a series i have in portuguese on my wattpad! It’s kinda long and have 2 parts haha but i decided to translate to post here too :) 

It was my first fanfic ever, so be aware lol

I never been to europe, so i’m sorry for any mistake about city features or how school works...

I just want to thank @petesrparker​ : Gio you’re the best and thank you for always helping me and hype up this series since the beginning! Seriously, you’re the best, this story would be nothing without you 😭❤

She even did a playlist for this! ikr? She’s amazing 💕 you can check out here if you want! 

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It was 2 minutes to 7am and I was late for school. Running to put on my warm sweatshirt and getting ready psychologically to go out in a cold weather, I grabbed my keys and tried to lock the door almost dropping my backpack on the floor. It was almost summer, but my town wasn't disappointed in having very cold mornings and hot afternoons.

"Shit," I murmured as I kicked the door, insisting that didn't want to close it. "Why hasn't my mom called someone to fix this thing yet?" I spoke to myself and finally managed to close it hearing a click. Coming down the stairs practically running, I closed the small gate and strode down the street.

I lived with my parents in a town called Kingston-upon-Thames, in a tiny two-bedroom house, very close to the school. You just need to walk about 4 blocks and voilá, I could already see the entrance gate and the familiar faces of the gringos. I was in the last year of high school, just turned 17 and I was born in Brazil, but grew up in London, when my father had to move because of his work, when I was only 6 years old. Obviously we weren't rich, my father worked with woodwork, and my mother currently worked in a small flower shop in the city center. But when my father received an offer to move to another country, he didn't think twice. Learn another culture, a new language and still earn some good money?An offer that cannot be refused.

The first time we arrived it was very strange, only my father knew intermediate English and my mother and I obviously did not know a single word. But we quickly befriended a family that lived on our street: the Osterfields. Jenna and Carter were the parents of two children: Harrison, the same age as me and little Charlotte (newborn at the time). Harrison and I immediately became inseparable, and he became like a brother to me and our families became one.

Obviously with him, also came nothing more and nothing less than: the Holland family. Nikki and Dom had 4 male children, one my age: Tom, Harry and Sam twins, 3 years younger and Paddy who was born 2 years later. So the family just grew, our parents became best friends, and me, Harrison and Tom became an unbeatable trio. There was no Y/n, without Tom and Harrison and vice versa, we're always together.

We went to the same school since always. As Haz lived only a few houses below mine, we meet and go together and Tom, who lived on the other side of the school, met us at the gate every day.

I went down the street and saw Haz sitting on the wall in front of his house, fiddling with his cell phone with a earphone, as soon as I approached he raised his head and smiled.

- Finally, I thought you aren’t going to class today. - He said getting up and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

- Good morning to you too Haz. - I said laughing and hooking my arm on him, while we went down the street. - You know that now that my mom is working on the other side of town she leaves early and then I have to wake up by myself, which is clearly a problem.

- Sleepyhead, - he said and I playfully tapped his arm while he laughed.

- Well, i'm, what can I say? Sleeping is the best thing in the world. - I said. - Did you do the history homework?

- Wich history homework? - He stopped suddenly looking at me in shock.

- Harrison Osterfield, you are not going to tell me that you forgot the work that I talked about it every day for almost a month. - I said putting my hand on my waist scolding him.

- Well ... I completely forgot. - Haz said scratching the back of his head with the face of a stray dog. -I was busy decorating the lines from the play.

- Wow Harrison, that way you will fail and then you'll  came crying to me. 

- Ok mom, sorry! But was it for today? Can I copy it and give it to you later? 

- Ok, but just this time, and do me a favor to exchange practically all the words I used or i'll be in trouble. - I said taking out my briefcase, while he held my backpack and I handed him my work. 

- I love you... - he said giving me back my backpack and hugging me, kissing my head afterwards.

- And I don't love you at all, bummer. - I giggled and we rounded the corner of the school.

Tom was already leaning against the side of the gate with his backpack between his legs, talking to a guy who was doing theater with him and Harrison. He was laughing at something, wearing a black hoodie, his hair was a little messy under his hood and his nose was slightly red from the cold. For some reason my stomach did some flips as we approached.

Harrison and Tom were very handsome, there was no denying it, they were half nerds, half bad boys (in the sense of forgetting to study for the exam or not doing their homework once in a while), they did theater, they were nice and got along very well with girls since they started puberty. As for me, I was the nerd who was always concerned about grades and getting into the journalism college, I didn't always have excellent grades, but they were enough to pass or impress the professors when I felt inspired. I wasn't popular, but not a completely ghost too, because being best friends with the boys ended up calling attention in some way.

The only boyfriend I had was a guy named Steven, and also my first kiss, to at age 15, but we broke up last year. Steven was cool, but we had different views on things and use to think about completely different futures, so we thought it was best to broke up. And since then I'm alone and very well, thank you.

But since I broke up with Stev, for some reason I've started to have some weird feelings for Tom. Weird in the meaning of being shy around him, with whatever he does, or whatever words he exchanges with me. Which is ridiculous, because he's my childhood friend, and I never felt any of that with Haz, so why with him I feel? I always saw Haz as my brother, but with Tom it's different, and I never understood why.

Anyway, here I was with my heart beating faster and faster as we approached. As soon as we got close, Tom waved goodbye to the guy he was talking. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and patted Haz on the back, kissing my forehead afterwards, which I immediately feel my cheeks burning with embarrassing, but no one realized.

- Hey mates! Finally! I thought you weren't coming anymore.- he said as the three of us went through the gate towards the school.

- The madam here, was the one who ended up sleeping too much, I was also waiting a long time.- Haz said and I rolled my eyes, making Tom smile.

- I understand Y/n, I also love sleeping... By the way, I said I was waiting a long time, but actually I just arrived. - He laughed - Your mother started working on that flower shop, right?

- Yeah! She started today, so I'm still getting used to waking up just with the alarm without my mom pulling me from under the covers by my hair.- I replied and they both laughed.

- Which class do you guys have now? - Tom asked as we went up the stairs to the first floor where the class rooms were.

-Math- Haz said, rolling his eyes. - Actually, I really have to go, because if I show up a second late again Mr. Jones will kill me. - he said giving us a brief wave and running to the opposite side.

- I have philosophy, thank God, one of my favorite subjects.- I said raising my hands to the sky as a joke and Tom laughed.

- Wow y/n, I thought your favorite subject was biology and English.- he said and I stuck out my tongue, but feeling a little warm inside, these subjects were the ones we had together.

- Anyway, see you later? I have physics now unfortunately.

- Yeah, I'll be at our new favorite place. - I giggle, it had been a week since me, Haz and Tom found a perfect place to stay during the break, which was on the back of the school, on a hill next to a tree, where we had a full view of the students down there. It was perfect, because the warm morning sun was shining and we'd be left on the ground gossiping and watching what others were doing.

- See you there shortie. -Tom said kissing the top of my head, giving me a wink and leaving towards his class room.

- Look who's talking. - I said loudly for him to hear and he showed me his middle finger from a distance, laughing at my face.

I turned around smiling and headed towards my class. The first two classes were normal, nothing new, I was still a little sleepy, so I ended up almost sleeping in the second geography class, where I was almost kicked out by Mr Wilson, who let It pass this time. The alarm hit indicating it was break time and I thanked God, practically running to stay out in the sun.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and my headphones, hitting play on Radiohead's Subterranean Homesick Alien song and walking outside. I saw Steven with his new girlfriend Lily right on the way out, they were talking, hugging each other and looked very happy, he saw me and gave a smile from a distance where I reciprocated. Our break up went very well, without resentment, which made me happy.

I walked up the small hill and saw Haz and Tom already at our meeting place. Tom was lying down looking at the sky while Haz was sitting propped up in the tree.

- Did you guys miss me? - I said sitting next to Haz.

- Yeah, we were even thinking about how we could handle living without you y/n- Haz said and Tom chuckled.

- I know you two love me. - I said shrugging.

- In fact, we were arguing when you're going to have a new boyfriend. - Tom said and I froze.

- And who said I want a new boyfriend? I asked raising my eyebrow.

- We know you y/n, you starting to have your head in the clouds lately, always retweeting couple things and posting romantic songs, I can see that you're falling in love again.- Tom said, still looking at the sky.

- I agree. - Haz said taking the side of my earphone and putting into his ear. - She's even listening to Radiohead! And you always listen to Radiohead when you're in love. - I gave them a sarcastic laugh and pulled the earphone of his ear turning off the music making Haz laugh.

- You guys are idiots, I'm fine alone thank you, I just want to focus on my studies from now on. - I said and they both made a "hmm" in unison, making me roll my eyes.

- Actually, we were discussing where we're going to celebrate my 17th birthday tomorrow.- Tom said changing the subject, turning his head and covering the sun with his hand to look at me.

-Tomorrow is your birthday?- I asked pretending to be surprise and Tom rolled his eyes playfully.

- I know you two always look forward to my birthday, because you love me and want to surprise me.- he said and Haz and I laughed ironically. - But Marcos offered his house, because his parents are traveling, so we could make a cool party there! So I was thinking about calling the theater people and some of our friends like Julian, Tuwaine and etc, maybe getting some drinks too... - Tom said sitting down and cleaning some leaves that were stuck on his hoodie.

- I think it's a good idea, I'm not much of partying or drinking, but with you both I always have fun.- I said and Haz rested his head on my shoulder.

- Good to know we make you happy Y/n. - Haz said and I giggle patting his head.

- So we meet tomorrow? You guys want to stop by my house so we could go together?

- Actually, I have to go to my granny first, so I'll go from there.- Haz said and Tom gave him a thumbs up.

- Y/n you can go? Around 7pm it's ok?

-Of course Tommy. - I said and he smiled at the nickname.

- Okay, I'll wait for you at 7pm and I'll send you the address, mate.- he said to Haz as we got up listening to the bell ringing indicating the break was over.

- Deal!- Haz said.

- Deal. - I also said as we went down back to class.

The last classes were history, the subject I had with Haz and he returned my homework, assuring me that he had changed the words. We spend the whole class sending notes talking about nonsense and making jokes. Haz and I were pretty good at sending notes without the professor seeing.

But I confess I was puzzled by what the boys had said earlier, how did they have the impression that I was in love? I wasn't, was I? Was I showing too much that i had feelings for Tom? I don't know, I just know that the whole story had left me with immense anxiety.

The class was over and I said goodbye to Haz, because he had theater with Tom and I didn't have any extra activities that day. The only days that i had something was on monday, tuesday and thursday, when I have a school reinforcement to improve my notes to enter college. Which was a relief, since I had to run to the mall to look for a gift to give Tom for his birthday. I had been looking for weeks and I didn't find anything interesting to give to my best friend. Best friend isn't it? Nothing more than this...

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a/n: if you liked and want to be tagged on the next chapters let me know! 😊

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Wip Wednesday

Untitled fic (Correspondence)

Summary/Story so far: HotchReid, slow burn, AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. We are now months into this... tentative thing that is beyond friendship, beyond flirtatious, they still don't know much about each other on paper... but this feels a lot like dating. And then one day, Hotch abruptly stops answering his phone.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

(Set in season 6, unbeta'd, still the first draft, text/email templates are temporary)

((Notes: Spencer's POV this time, he is 29 and working at CalTech, Hotch still doesn't know how old he is though he does know that he's at least younger than 45 now. Hotch has been MIA now for about 18 hours.))

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Spencer spends way too long online that morning, searching for anything about the case Hotch is working. There's nothing about a raid, or a shooting, or even an arrest -- which could all just be apart of the ongoing media blackout -- but it also does nothing to stop him from panicking. 

With a drafted email pulled up to Ms. Penelope Garcia, the BAU's personal tech analyst, he ponders how to... even word this without it sounding too personal. Too much like he and Hotch have more than just a working relationship.

Because they do. They have... something.

Something that gives him fluttering sensations in his stomach, makes him check his phone constantly, and react to even the slightest chime similar to his text tone. Makes him smile when he sees Hotch's name on his notifications, in his email inbox, makes him message the man in the middle of the day at the most random thoughts. Just because he wants to make him laugh.

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[]You're going to get me in trouble.

[][]Did I make you smile?

[]I'm at a crime scene. There's a dead body in front of me.

[][]Then why are you checking your phone?

[]You know why.

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But that’s not something that is shared with the rest of the team, he’s sure. So he should be careful how he words his email, lest Ms. Garcia realize that Spencer isn’t asking purely as a colleague. 

Surely they know he has friends, though?

Chewing his lip, Spencer types out a brief email asking if Agent Hotchner is feeling well since he missed an appointment the night before and hasn’t been returning his calls. It’s a phrase he’s used often, so it comes naturally to Spencer as he types it out, and he realizes… he hasn’t called. He’s sent a dozen text messages, but not a phone call. Never a phone call. That was against the rules. 

He looks to his phone beside him on his desk, and tries to fight back the dueling forms of panic clawing at his chest. Panic that Hotch might not answer, panic what that means for the man he’s been… becoming more and more inclined to than any other person he’s met in so long. Panic if he does answer, breaking that barrier of written words to spoken, and the opportunity to hear Hotch’s voice. But he would also hear Spencer’s, and then there would be no hiding just how… how young he really is.

But his phone is in his hand before he can stop himself, and Hotch’s contact pulled up and his thumb hovering over the phone number with baited breath. 

Was he really going to do this?

He presses the touch screen and can hear the line connecting, the dial tone ring even before he gets the phone up to his ear and waits. It rings, and rings, and rings a fourth time -- before clicking over to voicemail. And Spencer’s hyper-fast thought processes realize he’s going to hear Hotch’s voice for the first time. Frozen in a panic, unsure if he wants to or if that had been something he wanted them to do together that the seconds slip by and suddenly it’s too late.

“You’ve reached the voicemail box of -- (703)-567-8790 -- this caller is not available. Please leave a message after the tone--”

It’s an automated, female voice that rattles off the numbers and generic call back message, and Spencer hangs up before it can begin recording him. Exhaling a shaky breath, that nothing had been ruined between him and Hotch thanks to an ill-timed phone call. 

He keeps the momentum going without much thought, and adjusts his email to Ms. Garcia before sending it. 

It feels so understated, and yet over dramatic the more he thinks about it. The more he reads it.

.

Please let me know of his well-being.

.

God, no wonder Hotch thought he was in his 60’s. 

But Spencer has to keep the façade up, not give away anything he doesn’t want to just because the emotional part of his brain is running rampant over the rational one. There are… many explanations as to why Hotch isn’t answering him. His gut feeling aside, he doesn’t need to be panicking like this. The world is still turning, he still has work to do, so Spencer tries to gather himself into some semblance of order and preps to talk to his doctoral students within the hour.

.

--

.

His morning routine progresses as usual, to start. Dr. Reid has his mandatory round up with his doctoral candidates going over thesis and dissertation parameters, class lecture schedules, updates, the works. Like morning announcements, but he requires them all to be there and to listen, and they all show up. Everyone knows of Spencer’s eidetic memory. He will certainly not forget a single date or schedule change, and he expects his students to not forget as well. 

But this morning Spencer is fully distracted, his mind elsewhere, somewhere in the state of Delaware with an agent who may or may not be in danger. Because Spencer cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong. It almost seems more like a fact than a feeling. 

He becomes even more distracted when his email pings, a response from Ms. Garcia of Quantico, VA flashing across his laptop screen, right in the middle of his department announcements. Spencer’s eyes skim the preview sentence in the pop-up box, and his voice trails off as his mind… whirls. 

.

Dr. Reid, I’m sorry to tell you I don’t know when Hotch will be available again. There was an incident, and he’s still in surg-

.

Surgery.

Surgery.

That vice-like grip of worry that has taken hold of him since last night tightens further, to the point Spencer can’t breathe. Hotch is hurt, he’s in surgery, and if he hasn’t been answering his phone since last night -- or even late yesterday afternoon -- it was not a minor thing.

Hotch is hurt. 

“Dr. Reid? Are you okay?”

“I--” he’s still looking at the email pop-up box, and is clicking on it before he can stop himself. Immediately disconnecting his laptop from the projector as his email loads there. It takes him a faction of a second to read the email. “I’m sorry, an emergency just came up. Kimmy, finish reading off the schedule for me?” He doesn’t even wait until she answers him, just picks up his laptop and retreats to his office as fast as his long legs will carry him.

.

--surgery and we’re still waiting on word. I know you 2 talk on the reg so I’ll keep you posted. 

Fret not, genius professor, our fearless leader has been through much worse than this.

.

She’s using informal speech patterns, which she has never done before. It bleeds her nervousness, and worries Spencer even more. Ms. Garcia also revealed she knows he and Hotch talk, but surprisingly that doesn’t have the effect he thought it would on his already rattled nerves. Instead, any and all reservations fall away as he types out a response much in the same way he and Hotch had started their friendship all those months ago.

.

Please, is there anything you are allowed to tell me about the case or his condition? We --

.

Spencer pauses, bites his lip as he considers crossing this boundary into the uncomfortable unknown, and then thinks about Hotch on a hospital operating table three thousand miles away.

“Screw it,” he mutters and continues to type.

.

--We’ve become good friends and I’m very worried.

.

The reply is almost immediate.

.

That makes 2 of us, boy wonder, but I’m already hacked into the hospital records database and Prentiss is in the waiting room.

I’m sending you the case files and the incident report from last night. Maybe you can see some shiz we can’t b/c the bossman is tough but he’s been in surgery a long time. 

.

Of course, whatever he can do to help. Spencer’s heavy heart-beat triples in his chest as pulls up the files and immediately prints them out so he can read through them faster. But then his mind sticks on something from the email. 

Boy Wonder.

Ms. Garcia knows how young he is.

She must have done a background check on him, that would make sense since he’s been consulting so much lately. But why would Garcia know his age, and not Hotch?

.

Ms. Garcia, did you update my dossier with the bureau after you ran my background check?

.

If you’re referring to why Hotch seems to think you’re rocking the senior discount at restaurants and not still getting carded for beer, then no I didn’t update it. I’m very anti-gov files having every detail of our lives in them, that’s what I’m for, and I figured there was a reason he didn’t know. Your secret is safe with me, sugar bean.

.

The real reason is Agent Anderson of the LA field office is a dick, with a bully streak he never outgrew after high school, and didn’t bother filling out a full file on him the first time Spencer consulted for the FBI. Then, he couldn’t be bothered to update it when his consultations became more than a one time thing.

But that was all in the past now, and Spencer can’t even be upset about it. Because now he has Hotch.

.

Thank you, Ms. Garcia. I’ll let you know my findings soon.

.

He skims the file quickly, pulling information out at lightning speed. It appears a very straight-forward case. As straight-forward as a murderous sociopath can be, anyway. Very anti-establishment, specified targets that devolved to anyone in a uniform. Anyone who appears too official, or lables as official. 

It’s easy to see, now why the unsub attacked Hotch instead of running from him. He practically served himself up on a silver platter. But there’s something about the kills that’s bothering Spencer. The knife wounds, bludgeoning, even the gunshots during the first murders -- it’s all overkill. Rage. Every single target has died from massive internal bleeding, M.E. reports all label the knife wounds and beatings as the cause. But the amount of blood left over, measured during autopsy, doesn’t add up. They bled too much. No wounds indicating intentional bleeding occurred, and the tox screens are all clean. 

Except, every victim has elevated potassium rates.

“Oh, God,” Spencer whispers, quiet and horrified. “Hotch.”

There’s no time for email.

He picks up his phone, goes to an older email that has full contact details in the footer, and dials Ms. Garcia’s direct line in Quantico.

“Speak, and behold greatness.”

“Ms. Garcia, it’s Dr. Reid,” Spencer says, and his tone and quickened speech patterns gives way to his panic.

“Dr-- Dr. Reid?” 

“Yes, quick there’s no time. Do you have Hotch’s hospital records in front of you still?” 

“Yes,” Garcia says, her voice a musical thing even in it’s breathless reaction to his heightened state of haste. “Updated every two minutes.”

“Is his potassium elevated?”

Some quick typing of keys that move faster than even he could ever hope to type. “... Yes.”

God. “Okay, okay I need you to call the hospital right now,” Spencer says in a spiel that all sounds like one word. “Whatever you have to do, he needs Sodium Polystyrene Sulfonate as soon as possible, to counteract the chemical imbalance or he’s going to go into kidney failure and bleed out.”

.

tbc...

[patchwork-panda]

“I won’t tell a soul” (BSD Nakahara Chuuya x Reader #3. Complete!)

“Title: “I won’t tell anybody”/“誰にも言わない”  Genre: Romance Rating: PG-13 for alcohol usage and mild violence/language and a kiss scene. /////>w<;; Reader-insert is written as femme and 20+ Plot: You meet Chuuya at a wine bar and over time, you become close. Your regular meetings become something you both enjoy so when Chuuya stops visiting for several weeks, you begin to worry... When you meet again, you learn the truth... But do you care? Mini Fic is written in 2nd person. title is reference to new Utada Hikaru single                 

CW: street harassment, physical violence

AKA Chuuya saves reader and you get a kiss/get together :3

AO3 link for full fic: HERE

Part 1 Here Part 2 Here                                        

It’s well past last call when you leave. 

You ended up staying until past closing and, perhaps out of a feeling of guilt, the mustachioed bartender decided not to kick you out.

Because his “feeling” had been wrong.

Chuuya hadn’t come.

The bartender had offered to call you a cab but you adamantly refused. You wanted a nice long walk in the cool night air, which would hopefully clear your senses a little. You don’t want to go to bed tonight thinking about Chuuya or you might just wake up crying.

Because this was the last night.

No more.

You needed to move on.

As you leave the bar, you see a group of men, a bunch of hoodlums by the look of it, gathered near the alleyway to your far right. One or two of them give you an appraising look (you wish your skirt were longer but you make no move to tug it down) and to your disgust, another whispers something into the ear of yet another of their companions, who suddenly leers at you.

Ugh.

You keep your eyes trained on the road ahead of you as you walk past them, hoping to get away with nothing more than a wolf whistle but alas, it is not to be. One of them, a man with a scar over his eye, calls out to you.

“Hey, hey you! Lady!”

You roll your eyes and ignore him. You hated running into creeps like this in the daytime as it was. Nighttime is so much worse.

Not to be deterred, he runs after you and stops and slows once he’s caught up.

“Haven’t we seen you before?” he asks, looking you up and down. You suddenly regret wearing heels. You don’t answer but he acts as if you have.

“Yeah, I remember you. You’re here at that bar every Friday, aren’t you? Always sitting there at the counter with that short fellow, the one with the fancy hat and the jacket draped over his shoulders. Chuuya-san, you called him, right?”

You keep walking and scowl when Chuuya’s name crosses his lips. Scum like this shouldn’t have the right to talk about Chuuya like that, much less exist in the same world as him. And how dare this man call Chuuya short when he wasn’t more than a few centimeters taller than either of you.

“Hey, Missy.”

He grabs your shoulder. His tone is suddenly menacing.

“I’m talking to you here.”

“Let go of me!” you snap, tearing your shoulder away.

You turn to walk in the opposite direction but his companions are blocking the way back. In fact, they’re blocking every possible escape route you have. You spin around in a circle, only to come face to face with the man who insists on speaking with you. He smiles and you curse.

“Shit...”

He raises his scarred eyebrow. He looks amused.

“There’s no need for language like that, Missy,” he says, his tone every bit as patronizing as it is threatening. “We just want to talk to you. You see, we’re looking for ‘Chuuya-san.’ Been looking for him, in fact, for a long, long time now and we’re hoping that you can maybe help us find him. You see, we owe him a favor...”

“Well, you’re talking to the wrong person,” you spit acidly, “I haven’t seen him for several months now and even if I wanted to help you find him--which I don’t--”

You voice cracks and you swallow heavily. You hate that you’ve become so upset but that’s what the mere mention of Chuuya’s name did to you tonight. You were really hoping the bartender was right and you were absolutely crushed when he wasn’t.

“I don’t even have his phone number.”

You throw your hands up into the air, as if to indicate that you’d given up. 

“So why don’t you just let me go home and we’ll forget that this whole conversation ever happened?”

The man looks at you. Stunned. Then he starts laughing.

As one, his crew starts laughing at you as well and you feel your cheeks flush in sudden rage and embarrassment.

“Look at that, she just ordered me around, didn’t she?” the man chortles, turning to his companions as if he’d just told a very funny joke. “A real spitfire, aren’t you? And a looker to boot! No wonder he spends so much time with you.”

He snaps his fingers and at once, two of his men come forward and seize you by the arms. You try to fight them off but their arms are twice as thick as yours and you’re still a little tipsy from the wine.

“Why don’t you come with us, little Missy? We’d like to have a chat with you.”

“Hey!” you snap, “Get your hands off me!”

“See, your friend, Chuuya-san,” the man says, a note of humor sneaking into his voice as he copies the way you say Chuuya’s name. “He and that pesky Port Mafia he works for... have been making things difficult for us smaller gangs in Yokohama.”

His eyes narrow.

“Unnecessarily so.”

They start dragging you away. Your efforts to fight back seem meaningless. Panic rises in your throat. You should’ve taken the bartender’s offer of hailing a cab.

“Hey! Hey!!”

You struggle and fight harder but it’s no use.

“And our boss gets the feeling they’re going to be a lot more willing to negotiate with us,” the man continues, following you as you’re pulled backwards by the arms. “If we have a proper bargaining chip.”

His lip curls into that disgusting leer.

“Especially that midget. Can’t wait to see his face after he sees you missing a few fingers.”

You stiffen. Your eyes narrow.

“You asshole...” you growl.

You shoot him a piercing glare.

How dare he talk about Chuuya--your Chuuya--like that. 

“Keep Chuuya’s name out of your fucking mouth,” you spit, “you piece of shit--”

He silences you with a slap across the face and you stumble. The men behind you keep holding you up. Your cheek stings.

“Stupid bitch.”

He laughs and the men laugh with him.

“We’ll see how brave you are after we cut you up.”

As you continue to struggle, they drag you into the alley.

Tears of helpless rage fill your eyes. This was stupid. You were stupid. You should’ve just stayed away like your coworker said.

Now these assholes were going to take you away, do who-knew-what to you, and because of your own foolishness, you would never get to see Chuuya again.

You bite your lip.

Chuuya...

You’re trying not to cry.

Help me...

Just then, a harsh voice cuts through the night. It’s quiet but it rings with authority.

And barely suppressed rage.

“Let go of her.”

You stop struggling immediately. You’d know that voice anywhere.

As one, you and the men gripping you by the arms turn to look down the alleyway, where you see a lone figure standing there at the very end of the street. He is a black shape outlined against the backdrop of the downtown streets, his dark clothes bathed in the harsh blue and red glow of signs made of neon lights. His face is in shadow, but...

The lone figure wears a fancy black hat and a jacket draped over both shoulders.

Chuuya.

“Chuuya-san...!”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

You want to say more. You want to call out to him, loud enough for him to actually hear but for some reason you cannot. Something’s wrong with him tonight. His very presence is unnerving and without knowing why, you begin to tremble.

“Well, look who’s here,” the man with the scar crows.

He takes a knife out of his pocket.

“Nakahara Chuuya. We’ve been looking for you. Come with us. Our boss needs to have a little talk with you. And if you don’t...”

He holds the knife at your throat. You hold your breath as it presses against your flesh.

“The Missy here gets it.”

Chuuya steps forward and out of the shadows and at once, you know why you’re suddenly afraid. You feel the men holding your arms falter.

There’s an odd red glow around Chuuya, around his entire outline. As he steps forward, his long black jacket begins to lift off his shoulders in an unseen wind, billowing around him like a cape. You think you hear something like a dull roar echoing throughout the alleyway and when Chuuya looks up, his gaze is fierce. His eyes burn like twin blue flames in the night.

This isn’t the same Chuuya who’d flirted with you at the bar.

This man is something else.

He continues towards you.

“Didn’t you hear me?” Chuuya snarls, his teeth bared.

When his foot hits the pavement, it cracks underfoot. Rubble rises into the air all around him, glowing red like the aura around Chuuya’s body.

“Get.”

Another step forward. The pavement breaks yet again. It’s as if Chuuya’s weight has increased threefold when he took that second step towards you.

“Your.”

The roaring sound grows louder. More rubble rises into the air.

“Filthy.”

Chuuya’s footsteps grow heavier. He’s now leaving craters in his wake. You don’t understand how it’s happening but the rubble is now orbiting around his body like the rings of a planet.

“Hands.”

The men loosen their hold on you but they haven’t let go. Chuuya sees this and his eyes seem to glow more fiercely in the dark. He looks utterly terrifying.

“Off.”

Chuuya grabs a handful of the rubble around him and draws his hand back. He steps into a pool of dim red light and his body looks like it’s bathed in blood.

“My woman.”

He takes out a stone, flips it into the air like a coin and flicks it with his thumb.

You don’t even see it move.

There’s just a brief whistling sound and a crack.

The arm of the scarred man--the arm holding a knife to your throat--explodes in a shower of blood. Some of it splatters the front of your dress. You’re so shocked, you don’t even scream.

The man next to you, however, does.

He lets out a howl of pain, clutching his ruined arm and dropping to the his knees, his knife clattering uselessly to the ground in front of you. He’s crying and screaming about his arm, blood gushing from the stump of his elbow and into the street. The puddle inches towards your shoes.

The men holding you drop your arms and tear off into the night--the entire crew goes running back towards the street, leaving you in the middle of the alleyway between them and Chuuya.

Chuuya’s bright blue eyes narrow and he repeats his earlier movement, flicking several more stones towards the men in the alleyway with deadly precision. One by one, the men drop to the ground, their screams cut short. The last one is quicker on his feet than his companions and is just about to round the corner when Chuuya crouches down and leaps into the air.

You watch in awe, turning to follow his movements as he soars over you, gracefully arcing through the sky, his body suddenly as light as a feather. The stones follow him, continuing to orbit around him in a ring like a miniature belt of asteroids. With one flick of his wrist, several rocket towards the man who’s almost made it into the street. You turn your face away as you hear the dull, wet squelching of the stones tearing through his body, splattering his organs on the nearby buildings and sidewalk.

The man next to you is still crying and clutching his arm. He rushes past you, desperate to escape.

You can’t see Chuuya, but you know where he is.

You start towards his location but within moments, he’s in the sky again. You whirl around to see him several paces behind you, standing before the man whose arm he destroyed.

He grabs the man by the throat and slams him against the wall. Cracks appear in the drywall behind his body. Miraculously, he doesn’t pass out.

“You tell your boss,” Chuuya hisses, his tone low and menacing, “that if you try this shit again, I’ll send what’s left of his cronies back to him in a fucking bento box.”

He slams the man against the wall again.

“If you’ve got business with me or with the Port Mafia, then it stays with us. You got that?”

The man nods, tears streaming down his face.

Chuuya lets go of him at last and he crumples to the ground in a heap.

Scowling, Chuuya turns to you at last, the glow in his blue eyes suddenly fading as the red-tinted aura around him dissipates. Behind him, the scarred man scrambles to his feet and scampers off into the night.

“Chuuya--” you start but he is in no mood to let you finish.

“You,” Chuuya growls, stalking forward. “What were you doing out here so late at night? Are you an idiot? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

You’re stunned. After all this time, he’s angry?

“I came looking for you,” you protest, equally bewildered and hurt by the sheer anger in his voice. “I haven’t seen you in so long and--and you never gave me a single way to find you--Chuuya, I--”

“Why would you do that?!” he roars, slamming his fist against the wall.

No crater appears, but the drywall cracks.

Chuuya grits his teeth. He seems to have difficulty looking at you. He drops his gaze and the brim of his hat falls over his eyes, obscuring his face. Bits of drywall crumble down around his gloved hand. His fist is shaking.

“Why would you try to find me?” he asks, his voice hushed.

He’s asking you this? Why is he asking you this?

“Because...”

Your hands clench into fists when Chuuya does not not look up.

Fuck.

You bite your lip, hard, so that you don’t cry.

After all this time, he won’t even look at you? After everything you’ve been through? After all this??

“You really don’t get it?” you ask quietly, holding back those hot, bitter tears.

Chuuya doesn’t answer. Still doesn’t look up.

Why won’t he look at you?

It makes you angry. Angrier than you’ve been in years. You want to scream.

“You want to know why I came looking for you?” you ask bitterly.

Chuuya inclines his head slightly, which you take to be a nod. Pissed, you take a step towards him.

“It’s because I missed you, you fucking dumbass!”

Chuuya twitches violently.

He looks up, a mixture of shock and wonder clearly visible in the depths of his deep blue eyes. He looks mesmerized by you.

He’s not moving so you take another step towards him, suddenly feeling like you’re approaching a skittish alley cat. You hold out your hands when you speak.

“Don’t you understand, Chuuya-san? I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you so bad.”

You don’t care that he just maimed or even killed several people in front of you, that he has power beyond imagining and could turn his Gift on you if he so wished. He killed those men to save you.

To you, he was still Chuuya-san.

He was your Chuuya.

“I came looking for you... because you never even said goodbye. I didn’t have your phone number, or address. I don’t even know where you work or what your last name is. Chuuya, I had no way of contacting you.”

“That was the whole point,” Chuuya interrupts but you talk over him.

“So when I heard you might be here tonight,” you say, loud enough that he has to stop talking. “I had to come. I had to, you understand?”

Chuuya falls silent. His expression is contemplative, with an undercurrent of pain. His deep blue eyes are fully focused on you.

It was the same face he made the night he left the bar all those months ago.

“Chuuya-san...”

You swallow, ready to ask the question you’re afraid to hear the answer to.

“Didn’t you want to see me, too?”

But Chuuya doesn’t answer. Hot pinpricks sting your eyes. Shit. You’re going to cry.

“I see,” you say stiffly.

You gather your jacket more tightly about your body, preparing to leave.

“Sorry to have bothered you.”

You’re about to turn around and go when you see Chuuya’s fist tightening. With a start, you see his jaw tensing up. He’s gritting his teeth too. But he still doesn’t speak. You sigh.

“Goodbye,” you whisper. “Chuuya--”

“Wait.”

Chuuya rushes forward and before you can finish speaking, he’s gathered you in his arms in a fierce hug. His grip on you is so tight that you can hardly breathe.

“I did,” he whispers.

His voice is so small you can barely hear it.

“I wanted to see you too.”

“Chuuya-san...”

“The barkeep told me everything,” he growls. “He told me that you’ve been coming here almost every Friday night at our usual time. That you’ve been looking for me.”

He rests his chin on your shoulder and you reach up to comfort him. You gently pat his back.

“And waiting.”

“Chuuya-san.”

You swallow thickly.

“Tell me the truth. Why didn’t you want me looking for you? Are you...?”

You feel his arms around you tensing. He knows what you’re about to ask.

“Are you really with the Port Mafia?”

For a long, heavy moment, Chuuya doesn’t answer. But when he does, his voice sounds slightly hoarse.

“I am.”

As he speaks, you can feel his grip around you tightening, his arms wrapping more securely around your shoulders and waist, as if letting go of you would mean letting go of you for good.

“Chuuya-san...” 

Your fingers slowly curl into fists against his chest and the expensive fabric of his jacket wrinkles beneath your touch.

“My full name is Nakahara Chuuya,” he whispers against your hair. “And I’m not just any member of the Port Mafia. I’m one of the executives.”

Involuntarily, you stiffen and the instant he feels your fingers twitch against his chest, Chuuya groans.

“I knew this would happen. I knew it would. Fuck.”

His arms loosen and unfold from around you. He’s pulling away.

But before he can, you reach out.

“Wait, Chuuya! Don’t go!”

You grab fistfuls of his jacket and pull on it to stop him from leaving. You bury your face in his shoulder and he stops short. You feel his sharp intake of breath.

“Please,” you whisper. “Don’t leave again.”

“H-hey...”

Chuuya’s voice is flustered and unsteady. But he doesn’t move away.

“I kept thinking about it, you know...” you mumble, closing your eyes as you feel Chuuya’s black-gloved hand smoothing down your hair.

“About the way you look when you’re sitting there at the bar with me. The way you laugh when we talk. The way you look at me when we’re together. You were wonderful. Chuuya-san... You’re not a bad person, I know you’re not.”

“But I’m not a good guy,” Chuuya insists.

He drops his hand. Now he’s just standing there as you continue to cling to him. You lift your head and look right into his eyes, which widen in sudden surprise.

“I don’t care whether Chuuya-san is a good guy or a bad guy!” you exclaim. “All I know is... I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as your smile.”

Chuuya stiffens. You can barely feel him breathing.

“You...” he starts, and the emotion in his voice is enough to bring tears to your eyes. “You really think that?”

You nod vigorously.

“Yes. Yes, I do. I think about you all the time... Chuuya.”

I care about you...

He wraps his arms around you and, wordlessly, you do the same. For a moment, you just stand there together, locked in a silent embrace in the middle of this dark, bloodstained alleyway. You nestle your face against the crook of his neck, breathing him in. He smells like the subtle musk and spice of an expensive cologne, like roses and gun smoke and something more, something uniquely Chuuya...

Finally he speaks.

“I can’t leave the Port Mafia, you know,” he says in an undertone, his fingers stroking through your hair.

“I know.”

In response, you hold him tighter. There’s a subtle wrenching in your gut, but you won’t let go.

“I’m not asking you to. It’s fine.”

“This isn’t going to be the last time this happens,” Chuuya protests, “You could get hurt.”

“I said it’s okay,” you insist. “Just...”

You swallow with some difficulty. You know what you’re asking and you know how selfish it is... but you can’t let go of him.

“Just let me stay by your side.”

You press yourself further into him. His body is warm, still humming with some kind of energy, but beneath that well-fitted vest, you can feel his heart beating against yours.

“Please.”

Time passes. You stay like this for what feels like hours but you aren’t willing to let go. Neither, it seems, is Chuuya. Finally, he sighs.

“I knew you were special from the moment I laid eyes on you,” he says, a hint of a chuckle in his voice. You can feel the low rumble of his silent laughter travel through his compact frame and despite your worry, you feel better.

“I just didn’t realize,” Chuuya murmurs, “that ‘special’ meant ‘crazy.’“

“If I’m crazy,” you laugh, “then it’s only because I’ve gone crazy for you.”

The words are out of your mouth before you even realize what you’ve said and upon hearing you, Chuuya lets out a bark of a laugh.

“You,” he cackles, “you really are something, you know that?”

His laughter fading, Chuuya loosens his hold on you. He lets you pull back just enough so that he can see your face but not enough that you can move out of his arms--not that you want to. Even in the dim lighting in this dingy alleyway, Chuuya looks so beautiful up close. His deep blue eyes gleam brightly as they stare into yours and without thinking about it, you lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips.

And then Chuuya smiles. Really smiles.

His grin is toothy and somewhat lopsided with obvious delight, and yet, his expression still doesn’t lose any of that cool, self-assured energy you’ve come to associate with Chuuya and only Chuuya.

You smile back. Your body grows warm.

Yes. This is the smile you wanted to see. The smile you’d missed so much for the last few months that it nearly killed you to think that you might not see it again. But right now, Chuuya’s smile is different. Good different.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him looking quite so happy before.

“Chuuya...”

Wordlessly, you wrap your arms around his shoulders as one of his hands slides down to your waist. Chuuya places two black-gloved fingers beneath your chin and tilts your face towards his.

“Makes sense that you would be something special,” he whispers, his breath warm against your lips. “You are mine, after all.”

You close your eyes and the distance between you disappears. Chuuya’s lips are soft and sweet as they move against yours and you feel your breath hitch in your throat as his tongue ghosts over your upper lip. He feels so good and you cling to him as he deepens the kiss, pressing your body to his so tightly, you half wonder if you might be crushed by his strength.

But you like it.

You like the feel of his arms around your body, the way he grips you so tightly that his fingers dimple your flesh, the way he tastes--no wine could ever be as intoxicating as the man called Nakahara Chuuya...

When you come up for air at last, you’re both breathless.

”Wow,” Chuuya breathes, sounding just as dazed as you feel, “You’re... You’re a really good kisser...”

“So are you,” is all you manage to gasp before he dives back in for more.

As the moon rises high in the sky above you, you part at last, flushed and giddy and dizzy with joy. Chuuya takes your hand and leads you out of the alleyway, back to the bar you thought was closed.

He raps on the door with one black-gloved hand, the other tightly gripping yours, and turns back to shoot you that signature cocky grin when that same mustachioed bartender opens the door at last.

“I think it’s time we call you that cab,” Chuuya laughs as he pulls you inside the warmth of the empty room. “But I’ll meet you here again tomorrow, okay? Same time as usual.”

You nod. You’re smiling so hard it almost hurts but you’re just so happy...!

“It’s a date,” you say, to which Chuuya’s grin grows only wider. “So don’t go blowing me off this time.”

Laughing, he tugs you back towards him and presses another kiss to your lips, his grin returning as soon as he pulls away. His blue eyes shine like a bright, cloudless sky.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers, holding you close. “I’m not going anywhere.”

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it. 

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now. 

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys. 

@sanssssastark  your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?! 

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

[kpop---scenarios]

Good Enough

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader 

Genre: Idol! AU 

Warning: Smut, Mention of Domestic Violence, Miscarriage, Angst, Fluff 

Word Count: 15.4k 

Summary: Ayn (another y/n) and her friends meet Super M from a contest they win. She's a bit of a disaster but he doesn't care. Even when life tries to keep them apart, it never works. 

“I’m sorry…,”you whispered to the man who was supposed to love you, who was carelessly and harshly dragging you along the path to your apartment. You would think by now you would know your limits with alcohol, the one thing you had a love-hate relationship with, but instead you hate yourself every time you get as drunk as you currently were. You should not have drank as much as you did, is what you tell yourself, again. Everytime. You knew it as always. Your body knew it and hated you for it, and so did your equally unimpressed fiance. "I can't do this anymore," he grunts carrying you into your apartment and down the short hall to the bedroom. Soyoung lets out a loud sigh, a sound of frustration and annoyance flying from his tongue, as he practically shoves you on your bed. His tall body, moving quicker than your eyes can in the dark of the room, you watch dizzily as he opens drawers and your bathroom briefly grabs something else, before coming back to stand over you. "Did you hear me?" Grabbing your cheeks and squeezing with one hand the other painfully grasping a breast, making you gasp,  before grabbing some stuff from your bedside table. "I'm done." He finishes, walking out of your apartment, slamming the door and leaving your very drunk self to pass out. You wanted to follow him, ask him what you had done wrong now. You were trying to cope, was that so wrong? You wanted to move but your body wouldn't let you, you were frozen to your bed in an unimaginable state of drunken paralysis. Thankfully all the thoughts drowning you shushed your mind to sleep. Before you knew it, a persistent old-fashioned alarm eventually registered, blaring through your ears. You rolled over in your bed, feeling your dress from the night before twist around you, making you frown in confusion. Usually, a night out of drinking with Soyoung leaves you naked and most times sore in the right spot, sometimes pleasantly so, sometimes not. Shutting the alarm on your phone off, you sent a dreary voice message to your fiance sweetly begging for medicine and his special hangover soup. You desperately needed it. You really shouldn't have drank so much, again. Laying back down, phone tossed to the side, you take several slow deep breaths, trying to not throw up the unfortunate amount of tequila you drank last night. Closing your eyes against the dim light in the room, a flash of memory hits you making you touch your jaw knowing that all the pain isn’t from alcohol this time. You struggle to hear the words he spit at you last night in your head, something important, but you just couldn't remember as you drift back to sleep. Ding Your phone wakes you up. Groggily, you grab your phone, checking your conversation with Soyoung, and he's read your message but the reply wasn't from him. Maybe he was on his way? Going to your other conversations, you see it's your group chat with your three best friends. Beth, Maggie and Lisa. [2:43pm] Beth: I can't breathe. Everything smells like Tequila. I want to die. [2:45pm] Maggie: Did I break my foot? Cause it kinda feels like I did. Fuck. [2:49pm] Lisa: So round two tonight!? Let's get ready to paaaarttyyyyyyyy. [2:54pm] Beth: Are you insane? I'm crying tequila tears right now. I cannot [2:56pm] You: Don't be a pussy Bethy. Let's do it [3:01pm] Maggie: I mean.. i'm in [3:05pm] Beth: Fine. But I'm not drinking [3:09pm] Lisa: The fuck you're not. I will drown you in a bowl of Tequila beth. Try me. You knew you could always count on your girls. With a smile on your face, you text your fiance again, letting him know you were going out again tonight, and asked him if he wanted to come out with you guys. Usually when you message Soyoung, it wasn't long before he replied, but now you had been waiting two hours and that was so unlike him. But you weren't going to be that fiancee, you figured he was probably busy with something, even though the nagging feeling in your stomach was telling you otherwise. ** That night as you continued to drown your sorrows in liquor, again, your mind lingered on the fact that you still haven't heard from the person who was supposed to love you and be there for you. The person who was supposed to be your person but wasn't. Thinking back to the voicemail you’d left, well voicemails, plural. And thinking on the obvious smudges on your breast and face, that you’d gotten too used to covering up.   "You okay?" Maggie asks you, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah girl. All good," you say forcing a smile. You weren't okay; not even close and drinking was the only way you knew how to cope and there was a lot you needed to deal with but couldn't. You weren't mentally strong enough at the moment. You struggled internally with whether or not to unload everything on your friends, but you knew they had their own shit to deal with. You couldn't do that to them. "Come on," Beth slurred, slapping at the bar to get the bartender's attention. "Let’s close out and go! Next bar, up!" "Thought you weren't drinking tonight, Beth?" You slur, a knowing smile on your face. "Fuck off." She spits, placing a hundred dollar bill on the counter to cover everyone's drinks. Something the four of you often did. Someone would pay at one bar while another would pay at the next. The four of you finished your drinks, giggling as you walked out of the bar, walking to the next one. While three of you gossip, Beth lags behind, gasping at her phone. "What the fuck are tou foing," You slur, fumblimg your words and stopping the group. "Just shut up and keep walkin," she shoos you away, not looking up from her phone. Minutes later, you reach the next bar, Beth puts her phone away while she has a concerning smirk on her face. Do you confront her or ignore it? You choose to ignore, not wanting whatever it was to possibly ruin the night for everyone. Whatever your uwu girl was up to couldn’t be that bad. Beth wasn't one to stir up trouble or cause a scene. If anything, she likely ordered some more candles from Etsy. You all spent the rest of the night getting drunk and dancing on each other, without a care in the world.   Sunday morning you wake up, smelling Tequila everywhere. It was seeping through your pores. Your heart sunk, still no word from Soyoung. So you try to call him again. No answer. You tried again, and again no answer. You didn't understand. What did you do that was so wrong? You spent the entire day going through everything, old texts, playing in person conversations in your head,  trying to figure out how you might have fucked up in the last month or so, but nothing came to mind. So now the question you had was, what the fuck was his issue? You knew he didn’t like you showing up at his home unannounced, but at the same time this was past petty. The thought of calling his mother, who did not bother to hide her hate for you physically made you ill, you let your finger hover over her contact a little longer before closing the phone. You tossed it to the other side of your sofa, decisively picking up the remote to look for a movie to watch. Fuck him, you decide, just fuck him. ** After you had finished work on Monday, you still hadn't heard from him. When you woke up on Tuesday, again there was nothing. Everytime you called you were either sent straight to voice-mail or he just didn't answer. By the 3 week mark, you felt as though you might not even be together anymore. Three months later, you had heard nothing from him until your neighbour who was getting her mail had let you know he was out of town filming for a movie. She thought it was quite weird that you didn't know, and honestly, you thought the same but you weren't at all surprised, given Soyoung's past with you. Later that night, you had found out that night that when Beth was intensely looking at her phone, she had been entering a meet and greet with Super M, the band that the four of you were obsessed with. When she had gotten into the top five, she sent a video explaining who she would bring and why, and apparently they liked the way she represented you guys and how real you sounded. She should have told them you were all psychotic and loud because Super M was going to be in for a wild ride. At the four month mark, you still had not heard from him, and actively decided you were single. You took your ring off, leaving it on your bedside table. You didn't know why you tortured yourself like that, maybe you hoped he would walk through your door again one day, telling you that something had happened and he says so sorry before telling you how much he loved you, and would slide that ring back on your finger, telling you that's where it belonged and to never take it off again. Wishful thinking on your part. ** Finally Friday had rolled around, the night you were going to meet Super M. You had a hard time containing your excitement. All day you were a giddy mess, acting like a child who had gotten up early on Christmas morning to find a shit ton of presents. Friday afternoon, you had left work early to make sure you had ample time to get ready for meeting Super M. You unlock the door to your apartment, and walk in, being met with the face of your fiance, or the man who was now your ex. "Soyoung.. you're back?" You whisper, dropping your purse to the floor. "No I'm not. Just wanted to grab a few things.. and my ring." He says, sliding the ring off of your bedside table, and putting it in his pocket. "You're.. what is going on? Where have you been? Why did you leave? I thought we were happy?" You say. "Us? Happy? You're delusional." He laughs. "What? "I ended things four months ago." He deapans, hands in pockets with his feet braced apart. "Well thanks for telling me!" You yell, heart racing. "I did,"He shouts back. "Do you remember the night I dragged your drunk, embarrassing ass back home?" "No.. I had been drinking." You say, your chest tightening at the hurtful words you knew were going to come next. "Yeah you had, like usual. I ended things that night. I'm done. I have an important reputation to uphold and protect, and frankly your alcoholic, large self doesn't fit into it." He sneers. "Not to mention the vast difference in our status. Do you know what it's like being an actor with chances and then having an alcoholic teacher as my fiance? Fucking disaster." "I was coping. The loss of our baby was hard on me." You whisper, as it gets harder to breathe, tears freely slipping down your face now. "You know I've always wanted to be a mom." "Yeah well you losing our child was the best thing to happen to me. Imagine having a child with a low class whore. I can't believe any school would look at you and think you and that body, which is only good for one thing, should teach someone's kid. The universe knows who should be a mother, and you're not it." He continues as if her defense were nothing. "Also tell your friends that having them text me, asking me to check up on you while I'm out of 'town' is just fucking embarrassing." He finishes, sliding the ring into his pocket, and picking up his box before leaving. Tears fall from your face as what he said replays through your head, making you feel even worse. You didn't think that stuff like that was important, so it hadn't occurred to you that he thought that way. He had never mentioned anything to you, or brought it up, at least in so many words. Flashbacks play through yohr head, things he said during sex which should have set off some flags. "Fucking whore. You like getting your pussy rammed by a higher class man?" "Take that dick like the dirty low level slut you are." Did they make you uncomfortable? Sure, a bit but he had always been into dirty talk, so you chalked it up to that. Great to know he was being serious. Why did he have to show up tonight all night? The night that you get to meet one of your favorite bands, and your ultimate bias, Baekhyun. You couldn't look like a wreck tonight, so you dried your tears, took a few shots and put on your favorite song and started doing your makeup. ** A few hours after you were drunk and ready to go. A car outside beeped a few times, letting you know your friends were here. You locked your door, making sure to hold onto the railing as you walked down the stairs, not wanting to trip and fall. "Ladiessss." You slur, getting into the car, throwing your head back on the seat. "Let's go." "What happened?" Maggie asked, turning her head from the passenger seat to face you. "Apparently." You begin, clearing your throat. "Soyoung broke up with me when I was drunk four months ago and I don't remember, I'm in such a lower class than him and that's why I miscarried 5 months ago. Also that I'm a fat whore." You sniffle. Your lips begin to quiver as you remember the words again. You didn't want to cry, you couldn't but fuck it still hurt. "What the fuck." All the girls say in unison. "I've always hated him." Maggie spits. "Seconded." Beth yells. "Third..ed." Lisa partially answers, not knowing if that's a word or not. "Thirded is not a word, but thank you." You laugh as Lisa pulls you in for a hug. "We can cancel with Super M." Beth suggests. "Don't be dumb! Cancel on Super M? Who are you!?" You yell. "We don't cancel on kings. I'll be fine." You finish, taking a deep breath to shake off the sadness. "Are you sure?" Lisa asks, looking nervous that you might actually say yes. "Oh my god, no. We're not canceling." You laugh. "Lets go. I need a good distraction." 20 minutes later, the four of you sit outside the restaurant taking deep breaths. "I'm going to faint." Beth states, fanning herself with her hand. "Fucking Taeyong and Kai.." "Im going to meet Mark and Lucas." Lisa squeals. "Taemin, and Ten, my babies." Maggie groans. "And I'm going to meet Baekhyun. The only man I need." You say, a weird smile appearing on your face. "Fix that." Maggie says, pointing to your mouth. "You are not entering that restaurant looking like you're hiding a gun inside your vag, okay? Serial killer looks stay in the car please." She finishes, opening her door and adjusting her dress. "Less creepy. Got it." You say, hopefully smiling like a normal person. The four of you walk away from the car, your hands shaking as you make your way closer to the door. You felt like your heart might just drop right out of your ass when you walked through the doors. "We're here for the Super M meet and greet." Beth says, showing the man the confirmation. "Right this way." He says, motioning for the four of you to follow him to a private room. Whenever someone had told you they almost died when meeting their favorite celebrity, you never understood. Until today. When you walked in the room, all the guys were sitting at a table, four spots between them opened. Lisa sat in between Mark and Lucas, Maggie in between Taemin and Ten, Beth between Taeyong and Kai, while you sat beside Baekhyun with no one else on your other side. But you didn't care. Yes you loved the whole group, but Baekhyun was your one and you were in heaven. "Hi, im Baekhyun." He says with a gorgeous smile, holding out his hand. "Oh I know. I'm Ayn." You smile, shaking his hand. It was no surprise that it was soft to the touch. "Would you like a drink?" Baekhyun smiles, his eyes never leaving you. Call it crazy, but you absolutely felt something between him and you, and you could tell that he felt it too. "Tequila please." You laugh. "A Tequila fan? My kind of girl." Baekhyun smiles, waving over the waiter. Over the next few hours, you and Baekhyun talked about everything while the two of you took more shots. He asked you about your job, family, friends, ambitions, passions, everything. But you should have known not to drink too much, in order to not embarrass yourself in front of Baekhyun, but when he asked you if you were seeing anyone, you lost it. "I was engaged, but he dumped me when i was drunk, ghosted me for 4 months, told me I was a low class whore who basically deserved to miscarry and that I was fat." You sob. Everyone sits there stunned, mouths hanging open as you sob into a napkin that Baekhyun had given to you. "What an asshole." Baekhyun declares. "Like literally, I want to fuck him up. Who does he think he is? You are beautiful and I'm so sorry for your loss, you didn't deserve that. Where is he? Can I please beat the fuck out of him?" Baekhyun asks, rolling up his sleeves. "You're sweet." You giggle. "Honestly yes, you can beat him up. I hate him." "What's his name?" Baekhyun asks. "Kim Soyoung." You scoff. "That piece of shit!?" Mark asks from across the table. "Man we hate that guy already." Lucas mumbles. "Well there we go, now I have more of a reason to shit kick him." Baekhyun smiles. "But seriously, you're like a 20 out of 10. Stunning." He smiles. Your heart melts as his words replay through your head while he and the others make a plan for the rest of their night. "You guys down to come to the club?" Taemin asks, looking around the table. "Yes!" You all yell out in unison, excited for the next part of the night to begin. As you walk out of the restaurant, you pass through the dining room, where a familiar laugh rings through the room. You look around and see Soyoung sitting there, with a woman sitting across from him. "Wow, Kim Soyoung!" You yell, rage fueling your body with adrenaline. "Already engaged after you only left me 4 months ago?" You ask. "Ayn, stop it." Soyoung hisses. "Who are you?" The woman asks, standing up. When she turned around, your heart sank into your stomach, nausea consuming your body. She was at least 7 months pregnant, wearing your engagement ring. "It's not yours.. is it?" You whisper. "It's only been four months!" You yell. "She's got to be at least 6 or 7 months?" "Im 7 months, and we've been together for 3 years, what are you talking about?" She snaps. Tears fall down your cheeks as you try to piece together what she was saying. So were you the other woman or was she? You were engaged but now you're not, and she was having a baby, and you were not. "She could give me what you clearly couldn't. She's in the same league as me, unlike you. Get over it Ayn, I'm fucking done." "Oh I'm over it. I'm so done with you. Glad a pathetic piece of shit like you is no longer in my life." You say before he cuts you off. "You know what?" He asks, looking around the room. "There's always that one person in a group that doesn't quite fit in, someone they need to make the rest of them look good, that's you and you do a wonderful job at it." He smirks. "You're a miserable person, and a shitty lay. It was hard to feel anything when we fucked, considering you have such a small dick." You smile, Baekhyun grabs you by the wrist to drag you outside while Soyoung shakes with rage. He knew that if you kept going like he thought you would, Soyoung would probably do something that he shouldn't and you'd likely get hurt. "I'm sorry. That just felt so good to say." You tell Baekhyun, now sobering up from all the adrenaline. "It's all good." Baekhyun laughs. "I enjoyed it. Let's get out of here." Everyone climbs in two different vans, preparing to head out of the club. You began climbing when something stopped you and pulled you back out. Turning around you see a still fuming Soyoung, standing there with his fists clenched by his side.   "You think you can just say all that shit in front of my fiance and a room full of strangers and get away with it!?" He yells unclenching to grab the collar of your shirt, pulling you against him. "Why are you letting someone who is in such a low class bother you so much? Mhm? Maybe because you're not as high and mighty as you think you are? You're lower on the totem pole than I am." You whisper. Soyoung shoves you to the ground, raising his fist as if he was about to hit you. "I dare you." You say, knowing he wouldn't. "Hey!" Baekhyun yells, jumping from the van and shoving Soyoung back. "I always knew you were a piece of shit, but now you're an abusive piece of shit? Wow." Baekhyun snaps, staring hard at Soyoung, who sighs before walking away. "You okay?" Baekhyun asks, extending a hand to help you up. "I'm all good." You smile. "You sure?" He asks, making sure. "Positive. Let's party!" You laugh, climbing in the van. "She's amazing." He whispers before climbing in after you. ** Walking into the club, all eyes are on Super M as they glide past the dance floor, all of them looking like angels. They all head for the VIP section, which gives a perfect view of the dance floor. After everything that happened earlier with Soyoung, you were ready to forget everything with a few shots before you got lost on the dance floor. You, Maggie, Beth and Lisa all cheer your shots, each time you take one. After three, and a good song was finally playing, you all head out to the dance floor, finding a spot in the middle with an opening to view the VIP room. Your eyes lock with Baekhyun as you begin circling your hips, shaking your ass while running your hands over your body. You watch as Baekhyun licks his lips, his eyes trailing your body, watching you move so effortlessly. He takes a sip of his drink, his body slouched in his chair with his legs spread wide. You can feel yourself becoming more and more horny as you see the outline of his cock growing in his pants. As you continue dancing, you feel a pair of hands slide around your waist and a body press against you. Still looking at Baekhyun you notice his eyes go dark as he sits up, watching you dance with the strange man. He doesn't know why, but the jealousy he felt was coursing through his body. You break eye contact, turning to look at who you were dancing with and if you knew him. You didn't.  When you looked back towards Baekhyun he was gone. Had he left? Seconds later you feel the man leave from behind you, being replaced by another body. "You're a bad girl." You hear whispered in your ear. Shivers dip down your spine as Baekhyun grabs your wrist, taking you off the dance floor and towards the bathrooms. He pulls you into the men's bathroom, locking the door behind you, his eyes dark and needy. He grips your shoulders, pushing you against the wall, pinning your hands above your head. “If you wanted to make me jealous, it worked. Since the moment I first saw you tonight, I wanted you." he growled into your ear. His hands reach down to touch your thighs, slipping his fingers under your dress as you spread your legs slightly for him. Baekhyun glides his fingers across your clothed pussy, teasing you. “Please give me more” you whine as you buck your hips towards his already erect cock. “This is going to have to be quick." he smirks, unbuckling his belt and sliding down his pants just enough to allow his cock to spring free. Your mouth watered at the site of Baekhyun's thick and juicy cock. He backs away, letting go of your hands, allowing you to drop to your knees. Your hand barely wraps around his cock, pumping it a few times before you lean in to wrap your lips around it. Just as you reach the tip, a frantic knock comes from the other side of the door. It was Taeyong, and he only had to say one word for Baekhyun to panic and get the two of you out of there. "Saesangs." Baekhyun pulled up his pants, pulling you towards the only window in the bathroom. He sent a quick message to his group chat, letting them know to meet him at the van, asap. "I'm gonna lift you up and the climb up myself." He tells you, looking very serious but you can't help but laugh. "You.. you're going to lift me up? Me?" You giggle. "You're little." "Hey! I have muscles okay? I'm strong. Shut up." He grunts, just barely lifting you. "See." He says, his voice shaky and struggling. "Yeah okay." You huff, climbing through the window. "I can hear you on the struggle bus." You can't hear what Baekhyun's reply was, as you were too busy trying to drop to the ground. "Hurry up." He tells you, watching you dangle from the side of the building. "It's terrifying." You whisper shout. "It's like 4 feet. Get over it." He whispers back to you. "Before I peel your fingers off this ledge." "You do that and I will never give up this pussy." You say, not able to hear his mumbles. Taking a deep breath, you let go, dropping down not very far at all while Baekhyun effortlessly jumps from the window, landing gracefully as usual. Finally you confirmed, he was in fact just CGI and not real at all. There was no way a human could possibly be as perfect as Byun Baekhyun and not be fake. Just wasn't a thing. "Stop staring at me, let's go." He laughs, pulling you towards the van. "Baek we gotta go." Taemin says, rushing him. "Gimme your number, quick." Baekhyun urges. Quickly you write your number on his arm before he climbs into the van. "I'm sorry. I'll text you." He says before the van door closes and they drive off. "What the hell happened?" Maggie asked, walking up to you with Beth and Lisa. "We almost hooked up." You whisper, eyes wide. None of you can believe it, except Lisa. "Well he was watching you all night so I'm not surprised." Lisa tells you, raising her eyebrows. "We'll meet tomorrow for breakfast?" Beth asks the group. You all agree before going your separate ways to head home. Tonight had been a night that you would honestly remember forever. You really didn't have any expectations of Baekhyun to text you. He was a huge celebrity and you were, well a teacher with an alcohol problem. Not quite the catch you should be. When you finally got home,you stripped down into your underwear, hating yourself for wearing such sexy lingerie that no one got to see. You climb into your bed when your phone dings. A number you don't recognize. [3:08am] 4739272943: Hey, I had a great time tonight.. did you make it home? The smile on your face widened. You quickly added his number to your contacts before replying. [3:12am] You: I did, thanks for asking. I'm snuggled warm in my bed. [3:15am] Baekhyun ♡: I wish I was your blanket. Damn. I can't stop thinking about what happened in the bathroom [3:17am] You: Me either. I was excited. [3:19am] Baekhyun ♡: My cock is so fucking hard [3:22am] You: can i come over? [3:25am] Baekhyun ♡: (address) You crawled out of your bed and ran to your closet, putting on a trench coat over your sexy lingerie, and a pair of sexy heels. You rush down the stairs of your building, standing on the sidewalk to hail down a cab. Once you do, you begin telling the driver the address, double checking your phone to make sure it's correct. Sure it probably looked suspicious that you were going to a hotel at almost 4am, dressed like a hooker but if he knew who you were going to meet, he wouldn't judge. But he probably still would anyways. ** You stand outside the room number Baekhyun had given you, taking a deep breath before knocking lightly on the door. Before you could even knock a second time the door swung open, revealing Baekhyun who grabbed you and pulled you inside. "A trench coat?" He asks, trying to hide the smile on his face. "Why don't you see what's underneath before you judge." You say, glaring at him. Baekhyun reaches forward, unbuttoning a few buttons before you let the coat fall down your body, revealing the sexy lingerie you had on. "Yes, wow, good trench coat." He breathes. Baekhyun takes your hand, pulling you into him before pressing his lips to yours. Immediately you as though you’re melting into his lips. His mouth moves along yours, without any hesitation you open your mouth, just enough to allow him to slide his tongue in.  Every single worry you had quickly disappeared from your head. Every problem, insult, anything was gone. Baekhyun reaches down, placing his hands on the back of your thighs, giving a little push to signal you to jump up. You hesitate a little, but when he pushes even more you know he won't give up, so you jump up, wrapping your thick thighs around his waist. He walks forward and crashes you against the wall, deepening the kiss while pressing his body against yours. He removes your hands from going through his hair, and instead pinning them above your head. He breaks the kiss, placing small kisses along your jawline before moving down to your neck. You pant as he nibbles at your neck. "Do you want me as much as I want you?" He asks, looking you in the eyes. “Even more" you breathe. Baekhyun sets you down, reaching behind you tk unclasp your bra,  your nipples perk as the cold air of his room hits them. Baekhyun bends down slightly, taking a nipple into his mouth, giving it a small tug with his lips. "Fuck." You moan. He smirks as he takes your hand, leading you towards the bed. He lightly pushes your shoulders back, causing you to fall back onto the bed as he stands at the edge. His smile widens as he stares at your thick, beautiful body on display for him, and him only. He climbs on the bed with you, hooking his fingers into your panties, slowly sliding them down your leg. Baekhyun spreads your legs, memorizing every curve and crevice of your body. He licks his lips and smiles as he lays down in between your open legs, your pussy already dripping wet. He lowers his head slowly, spreading your lips open with two fingers before licking a slow strip up, his tongue stopping right above your clit. He moves his it slightly, using the tip to give you a few small kitten licks. Your hands grip the sheet of the bed as you let out a loud moan, your fingers turning white. “Fuck" you cry. It’s been too long since you’ve had someone take care of you. Never having been with anyone since Soyoung. Baekhyun moves his tongue faster, you buck your hips, grinding yourself against his face. “Shit that feels so good" you whine. Baekhyun picks up his pace, moving his tongue in every direction, your orgasm coming fast. “Please don’t stop. Just like that” you groan. Your breath hitches as his hands grip your thighs, steadying himself in-between your legs. “I’m.. I’m gonna cum" you cry, your hands moving from the bed sheets to his head, gathering a handful of hair and gripping it tightly. You move your hips faster, needing to cum now. A few more circles with your hips and you’re met with a delicious release as you cum, a wave of pleasure radiates through your entire body. Baekhyun looks up at you, smirking while he licks your juices from his face. You just lay there attempting to catch your breath as your chest heaves up and down. “Fuck me now” you breathe. Baekhyun's eyes go dark as he stands up off the bed, you maintain eye contact as he strips his shirt off, your mouth practically watering at the sight of his toned stomach. Yout mouth drools again at the sight of his thick cock, standing straight at attention. “It's not going to suck itself” he smirks, looking from his cock to you. A wide grin appears on your face as you sit up and begin to crawl towards him, you lay at the edge of the bed with your head level to his cock and mouth open wide. Baekhyun groans as he slides his cock into your mouth, pushing himself in as far as he can before you wrap your mouth around him. At first he starts out slowly, gently thrusting himself in and out of your mouth. With every pump, his thrusts become harder and faster. Tears begin forming in your eyes as he rams his cock down your throat, it burns, but you love it. “Jesus baby, your mouth feels amazing” he moans, his thrusts becoming sloppy. Almost as quickly as he moaned, he pulled himself out of your mouth, stumbling his way over to the wall. “Are you okay?” you ask, your voice hoarse. “Yeah, I was just close to cumming and I didn’t want to do it yet" he breathes. "You want to cum in my pussy, don't you?" You ask, feeling extra naughty. Baekhyun lets out a deep throaty growl as he stalks back towards you. You scramble to sit on the bed, with your legs clenched, the need for him to be inside of you so strong. “Get up and ride my cock “ he growls. The moment you move, he lays in your spot ready for you to sit on his cock. You move your leg over to one side of him, gripping his cock as you align yourself with him and sink down slowly. You clench yourself around him as you hit the base, your walls stretched. “Your pussy feels even better than your mouth” he grunts. You slowly begin to rock your hips back and forth, getting a rhythm you enjoy. Baekhyun rests his hands on your hips, pushing for you to ride him faster. Your hands reach down to rest on his chest, as you lift your ass up before bringing it back down onto him. After a few minutes you go back to slower thrusts, your clit rubbing perfectly against his pubic bone. Baekhyun sits up, bringing the two of you chest to chest before he slowly brings a hand up your back to grab a chunk of hair and yank your head back, exposing your neck. You let out a small moan as he places soft kisses. He smirks at you before changing his pace and flips you over to your back. He smiles as your legs are in the air and he slowly pumps himself in and out. “Fuck me harder” you beg. “Happily" he says before his face turns from a smile to dark. His thrusts are slow but powerful. He makes you shiver every time he thrusts in, hitting your G spot without a problem. Without a word, his pumps quicken as he consistently rams himself into your dripping pussy. “Play with my clit" you whine. Baekhyun removes a hand from your leg and places it in-between your thighs, spreading your lips and placing his thumb on the exact spot you need it. He begins to  rub as he continues to pound himself into you. “I’m not going to last much longer” he pants, his thrusts becoming sloppy again. “Choke me" you cry out. Baekhyun abandons your other leg, wrapping his large hand around your throat, giving it a tight squeeze. A few more thrusts and circles from his thumb, a stronger orgasm than before washes over you, pulsating through your body, leaving you breathless. A few hard thrusts and a few seconds later Baekhyun cums, soaking your walls with his juices. After milking himself, he half collapses on to you, the two of you breathing heavily. You both chuckle as he pulls out of you, laying his equally as sweaty body next to you. Just as you were about to say something, you're cut off by the sound of knocking on Baekhyun's hotel room door. "Shit." He whispered, looking at you with terrified eyes. He mouthed an apology to you before shoving you off the bed, leaving you naked in between the bed and the wall. "Come in." He says, clearing his throat, making sure he was covered. "Hey Baekhyun.." Lucas begins. "I heard some grunting.. just wanted to make sure you were okay?" He says, looking around the room. "Oh yeah, all good. Just working out." Baekhyun says awkwardly. "Naked. It's my naked workout time. Do you wanna join? We can not be naked. Unless you wanna be naked." He suggests. "Nah, I'm good." Lucas smiles, backing out the door. "Don't forget, flight leaves at 9am." He reminds Baekhyun. But he knew and he was trying to avoid talking about it or bringing it up for as long as he could. Lucas closes the door, and Baekhyun scrambles to the side of the bed you're beside. "Guess I should get going." You say, standing up and searching for your lingerie. "You don't.." Baekhyun begins before you cut him off. "It's fine. I get what this was. It was fun, you have to leave and go back to your life and I'll..go back to whatever mine is." You say. "It's fine. I knew this wouldn't turn into anything.. I mean look at the different worlds." You finish. "Are you done now?" He asks. You nod your head. "Finally. Look, I don't want to stop talking to you, or stop seeing you. I was going to suggest making long distance work until I can come back or you can come out there." He says, pulling his boxers on. "If you want." You stand there in your bra and panties with a giant smile on your face, trying to remain cool. "Yeah sure, I could do that." You say, shrugging your shoulders. "Don't sound so excited about it." He says, rolling his eyes.   The smile never leaves your face as you walk towards him, wrapping your arms around him, as he does you, holding you close for a few minutes. Another knock at his door breaks the two of you apart, knowing he now has to leave. "You go. I'll wait 10 minutes and then leave." You say holding back your tears. Yes you'd only met yesterday but it already felt like you've known him for a lifetime, things with him were just beginning and now they're ending just as fast as they began. "I'll text you." He says, placing a quick kiss on your lips before grabbing his bag and slipping out the door. Your heart sunk into your stomach at the thought of him getting on that plane and going back to Seoul, but you couldn't do anything. You had zero expectations of him texting you, and you sure as shit weren't going to text him first.   Just as you were leaving his room, your phone dings. Your stomach twists and turns with excitement as you see a text from Lisa, telling you where to meet them for breakfast. Thirty minutes later you arrive at the restaurant, after quickly running home to put on some clothes before going. "Why are you so happy?" Beth asks, referring to the giant smile on your face as you sit down next to her. "I'm just in a good mood." You laugh. A very good mood. "Bullshit. What or who did you do?" Maggie asks. "I'm not sure what you could be talking about." You murmur, avoiding eye contact. "You didn't." She gasps. "What?" You ask with an awkward laugh. "You slut!" Lisa screeches, making the other people turn to look at your table. "Oh ky god, what!?" You laugh.   "You and Baekhyun fucked didnt you?" Maggie asks. "When would that have even happened?" You ask, rolling your eyes. "You left us at 230am." She says. "Anytime after that." "I may or may not have gone to his hotel last night.." you pause, pursing your lips while they all sit there mouths hanging open. "Girls.. when I say he's big.. I mean he's biiiig." You smile, your facial expressions showing them exactly how big you meant. "Tell us everything." Lisa laughs. Leaning forward, you start from the beginning at the club, and how neither of you could take your eyes off one another. ** "You weren't naked working out last night, were you?" Kai asks Baekhyun, sitting next to him on the plane. "I was. I rather enjoy doing pilates.. naked." Baekhyun says, clearing his throat. "Really? I didn't know that. I also didn't know that you moaned like a girl when you worked out. Is 'fuck me harder' a part of thr pilates workout?" Kai laughs. "Actually it is." Baekhyun says, trying to keep a straight face. "Look, i don't wanna tell you what to do, Ayn seems like a great girl, but she seems to have a lot of shit going on." Kai says. "Just be careful." "We all have a lot of shit going on. That doesn't mean we're any less deserving of someone to care for us. I know what I'm doing." Baekhyun smiles. "Then I'm happy for you man." Kai smiles, closing his eyes, preparing to sleep for the long flight. ** You waited and waited for a text from Baekhyun, but nothing came. You understood when it was a few days, but after a week, you decided it was exactly what you expected. You had actually believed him when he told you it wasn't just a one night stand for him. When he told you he wanted more, that he would text you and facetime you. You knew people got busy and he was an idol but it didn't take too long to send a text, just a hey, how are you or something like that. The more you stared at your phone the more it made you sad that the last thing he sent to you was the hotel address. At least you would always have that night. Sitting in your bed, your blankets are wrapped around you as you scroll through the saddest sounds on your tiktok, tears welling in your eyes. Fuck this hurt. As you scroll, Maggie's name flashes across your screen in a phone call. "Hello?" You sniffle into the phone. "Come out." She tells you. "Beach day." That perked you up a bit. "Okay. Yes." You say, knowing it would be good for you to get out. You wiggle your way out of your bed, put on your cutest bikini and brush your hair before putting it up in a cute bun. You put on a little sun dress and your flip flops before grabbing a bottle of wine and heading to your car. When you're about twenty minutes away from the beach, your phone dings and since no one else is on the road with you, you decide to check it and see Baekhyun's name at the top of the text. He finally texted you! You smile down at your phone as you read the message. [1:23pm] Baekhyun ♡: Hey beautiful, I'm sorry it took me so long to text. Things have been crazy. But I miss you and I can't wait to see you again. Let's plan something soon, okay? You heart flutters, excitement taking over, until panic rushes in instead. You drop your phone when you hear the honking of another car, not realizing you had drifted into the other lane. Unable to get back into your lane in time, you go the other direction, your car crashing through the metal guard, the sound of metal scraping while you cry, trying to pump your brakes but they're not working. Everything happens so fast, one minute you're happy and driving, the next your car plummets into the water, sinking fast. You struggle to take your seat belt off, while also trying to kick out your windshield or even punch out your driver's side window. You can hear the people above, the people on land screaming and crying, begging someone to help you while you cry out yourself, pleading for someone to come save you but now it's too late, your car is completely submerged in the water. You wish you could breathe but you just keep sinking. Sinking. And sinking. Until the world fades to black. ** Baekhyun has his phone right beside him for the rest of the day as he actively waits for your reply. He saw that you read jt, but maybe you were just busy at the moment and couldn't reply, or maybe you were too busy fangirling to reply. Maybe you fainted? Maybe he took too long to text you? It's not that he didn't want to, but for the last week, from the moment he got off that plane, his schedule had been hectic. He had appearances, promotions, rehearsals, shows, and more. He barely had a moment to sit and breathe, eat or think. He wished he had messaged you sooner, just to let you know he was still thinking about you, that he hadn't forgotten. Great, you probably thought he used you for a one night stand type thing. He debated within himself if he should text you again, or leave it until tomorrow and send another message. Looking over at the clock, he decided that since it was so late he would wait to text you again, hopefully this time yielding a reply from you. ** That next morning he woke up, sending you a good morning text, but it didn't really go through. He thought it was strange that his text was green, but it didn't say not delivered. Maybe your phone was off or you forgot to charge it. [3:48pm August 23rd] Hey.. you're worrying me now. Are you okay? Please.. let me know. [11:54am August 24th] Seriously? Come on Ayn. Something, anything would be fine. He was trying to keep calm, trying to not think that you were ghosting him. But by the second week when none of his green texts turned blue and he hadn't heard anything, he felt like he understood now. You weren't interested anymore. You could have at least had the decency to tell him you weren't interested instead of ghosting him. Three weeks went by. Three weeks of him texting you and receiving nothing, not even a goddamn apology from you. This was it. He was done. He was tired of trying, of keeping his hopes up that maybe, just, maybe you'd message him back. ** Three weeks after the accident, you had finally woken up, and you were okay, for the most part. Your body wasn't like it used to be, considering you had been laying down for the last few weeks. Your muscles were weak, your body was sore, your left leg had a bit of a limp and you felt disgusting. This wasn't you. You weren't the girl who cried over her body, but you didn't recognize yourself anymore. When the doctor suggested you try Physical Therapy you were hesitant but Maggie reassured you that she would be there with you through it all. "My phone?" You ask, a few days later while stretching. "They're going to call me today. They're pretty sure they can back everything up." She tells you. Thank god. And they did. During the next three weeks of your therapy, you had four different tech guys working on your phone, trying to get your messages and contacts back but due to all the water damage, it was taking some time. Seven weeks after the accident, you were finally 98% percent back to your normal self, a few large cuts and bruises that still needed healing but mentally and physically you were feeling okay today. Today was also the day you got your phone back, contacts and messages and all. You couldn't wait, you felt terribly guilty for leaving Baekhyun on read like that for so long. You couldn't wait to message him, tell him everything that happened. You turn your phone on, and everything starts rolling in. Messages from Baekhyun, cute and sweet, and then they get frustrated and annoyed, and then he just gets mad. He goes from wondering if you were okay, to telling you that he thought you were different, to him telling you he thought Kai was right about you, and how he should have stayed away, that maybe you were too damaged for him. And then he's done. Your heart sinks but you can sort of see where he's coming from. You haven't messaged him in so long, but if he claimed to have liked you so much, then why didn't he try to reach out to anyone? Try to find out if something has happened to you? Regardless, you send him a text, trying your best to explain the situation in hopes that he understands. He should, who wouldn't? He didn't believe you? What did he mean he knows the truth? You were so confused. You tried to call him, multiple times but unfortunately for you, he denied your call each time. You got the hint. You weren't go8ng to be pushy with him, but it hurt your heart that he was acting like this. You had really liked him and now it seemed like he just wanted one thing from you that night and had no intentions of actually attempting to make things work with you. Just before you're about to walk away from your phone, it dings again, excitedly you look at it, hoping it Baekhyun but it's not. Instead it's from someone you want nothing to do with, Soyoung. Of course he was trying to get back in your life, unfortunately for him, no amount of apologies was going to work to get you to even talk to him. You had his toxic ass once, you didn't want it again. You'd rather get into another accident than deal with him. You turn on your TV, waiting for your show to come back on when an interesting commercial caught your eye. 'Become a teacher in Seoul. Live in South Korea for a year while you teach English.' This was it. This was your reason, besides trying to talk to Baekhyun for you to finally go to South Korea. 'Call 18004738234 now!' Picking up your cell phone, you dial the number with no hesitations. With the year you had, you needed a change in just about every aspect of your life. You were still coping with the loss of the baby you so wanted, despite who it would have been with, as well as your painful departure from Soyoung. Your meeting and falling out with Baekhyun, someone you really and truly could have seen yourself with for the long haul. The car accident, that even though you basically fully recovered, it took something from you and you didn't think you would be able to find whatever it was while staying in the States. "Hello? Yes, I'd like to apply for the job in Seoul. Yes I am a teacher." You smile. This was the change you needed. Three long weeks later you received your letter in the mail, the one telling you that you had been accepted into the teaching position and that you were to fly out to Seoul in exactly 1 weeks time. Squealing, you pick up your phone, making a call to your three best friends and asking them to meet you at your favorite restaurant. "So what are we all doing here?" Lisa asks, margarita in hand. "We are celebrating!" You announce. "Celebrating what?" Beth asks. "I was accepted into the teaching program in Seoul!" You announce, excitement plastered over your face. Beth and Lisa scream in excitement with you, while Maggie sits there, looking concerned about something. "Are you not happy for me?" You ask her. "It's not that. Just what's your reason to go to Seoul specifically? What do you think you'll find there?" She asks. "You know I've always wanted to go there." You say. "Yeah but are you going to see Baekhyun? I don't think that it's a good idea." She states. "What's with you? You were all for it in the beginning, what changed now? What if we're meant to be?" You ask. "You're not meant to be with him, okay? So just leave him alone." She spits, taking a sip of her drink. "What is your issue? I don't understand!" You yell. "My issue is that you're not ready for anything! You've been through alot and you were rushing! So I told him you weren't interested in him anymore." She whispers. (Flashback) Maggie sat beside your hospital bed, holding your hand as the ventilators breathed for you. Her heart ached for you while her mind tried to remain positive. She told herself over and over again that everything would be okay, that you would wake up soon. But everyday, that day never came. One day, she was scrolling through her Twitter when she noticed a DM waiting for her. As she opens it, she sees that it's Baekhyun, reaching out to her about you. Where were you? Were you okay? Taking a deep breath, she told him you were too nice to say it to him, but you don't want anything more with him. You got what you wanted from him and that was it and that you wished he wouldn't contact you anymore. Maggie felt terrible and Baekhyun never replied to her message, but she thought she was helping you, not hurting you. "When did you tell him?" You ask, trying to hold back the tears. "When you were first in the accident." She sighs. "I told him you only wanted him for the night and nothing else." "Wow." You laugh, no humor to be found. "And just what the fuck gives you the right to make those decisions for me?" "As your friend, I felt like it was my duty to help you when you couldn't help yourself. I wanted to protect you." She says. "Where was that when I was with Soyoung? He was so shitty yet you never said anything to me! And here I want to be with someone who is actually good and decent and you do that? Some fucking friend." You snap. "Where were you when he was threatening to hit me? I told you about that. Or when he yelled at me and talked down to me at the restaurant when we were out for dinner, you sat there silently. So don't try and act like you were protecting me from Baekhyun. There was nothing I needed protecting from. I needed you back then. Before he broke me down." You finish,walking out of the restaurant. ** For the rest of the week you spoke to no one. You ignored the calls from Maggie, the apology texts, and the texts from Beth and Lisa telling you to just take it easy on her. She was trying to be a friend. You hadn't planned on ignoring them until they took her side. You knew she was wrong, and so did they but they still took her side. You were over it. Your stomach was excitedly nervous as you boarded your plane. Sitting in your seat, your mind begins to wander, thinking about what you want. This was your chance to find out who you were by yourself. You had finally realized that you had no idea who you were or the woman you were supposed to be. You had always done what made Soyoung happy, bringing yourself down to lift him up, taking his abuse just so he would be happy and you have someone that told people they loved you. You had a hard time believing that you deserve any love because you weren't the smallest woman, the prettiest, the smartest, basically you serent good enough to be loved. But now that you have been alone, thinking about what you want and what kind of life you want you realized something. You deserve all the love in the world. You were an amazing, beautiful woman who was good enough. You were too good for Soyoung, and you were good enough for Baekhyun. ** When you arrived in South Korea, you knew you had a lot of work to do. First you had to find your apartment that you were sharing with another teacher, who had been here for a few months already and would be able to show you the ropes, and get settled in. But you also had to figure out how to run into Baekhyun. You just needed to explain to him what Maggie had done and how you had absolutely no part in it and didn't believe anything she had said. You tried to message him but he had blocked you on everything. Instagram, Twitter, Messaging, this was your only shot and this time you wouldn't blow it. You couldn't. You felt it in your bones that Baekhyun was meant to be your happily ever after. That you endured all you did because it led you to where he was, and where he was, was where you were supposed to be. ** Your first week in Seoul was.. well challenging. Gaining your students' trust, the beginning of teaching them how to speak English, it all started out a little bit rough. But as the time went on things became easier, your students began catching on, they started to feel more comfortable around you and you felt like you were finally home. This was where you were supposed to be, with these students, in this city, doing what you loved. As time went on and you stayed in Korea, you came to love yourself. Everyday you worked on yourself, becoming a stronger, happier version of yourself. Through the first year you were there, you made multiple changes to yourself. You dye your hair, started working out to feel better,  even made some friends who you went out with on the weekend. But there was still something in your life that you felt was missing. You hadn't dated anyone. Sure, there were a few guys you'd gone on dates with but for whatever reason they never worked out, or stuck and most of the time it was something about them you didn't like. Or they just didn't fit well with you, or the fact that they weren't Baekhyun. It had been a year since you spoke to him and he still crossed your mind at least once a day. You partially kept up with how he was doing through the tabloids but once it was rumored he had a girlfriend, you left it alone. Even though you'd been working on yourself, you didn't think you could handle it if there was any truth to it. Once your year working was up, you were offered full-time employment with your class, if you wanted to stay and continue to teach. You most definitely accepted it right then and there. That night you went out with some teacher friends to celebrate in Itaewon, which also happens to be a well known place that Idols like to frequent. You'd be lying if you said you didn't hope to even just catch a glimpse of his beautiful face in person instead of on a screen. After taking a few shots, you are dragged to the dance floor by one of the male teachers who you knew had a bit of a thing for you. The attention was nice, you were flattered but you were not interested and he seemed to have a hard time taking the hint that you didn't want anything sexual with him. He spins you around so your back is facing him, his hands on your hips trying to guide them to grind your ass on him. You turn around and tell him again, you're not interested in dancing with him like that, and he gets mad. "Why won't you just return my fucking feelings?" Kyungdo yells, grabbing your wrist to pull you into him. You try to pull your wrist from his grip, but his hand is holding onto you so tightly you can't.  "Please. You're hurting me." You whimper. "I'm not interested." You yell. Kyundo rolls his eyes, pulling you away from the dance floor, towards the door to leave the building, when you're stopped with a hand on your free wrist. "She said she wasn't fucking interested." A familiar voice yells, pulling you closer. Turning your head, you see the handsome man you had seen a year ago, his eyes dark, his lips pursed while his face even pissed off, was beautiful. "Mr. Byun. I'm a huge fan. Don't mind my girlfriend, she's just being difficult." Kyungdo says, bowing to Baekhyun who looks less than impressed. "Girlfriend?" He asks, looking at you. You shake your head no. Baekhyun peels Kyungdo's fingers from around your wrist, dropping his arm. "Leave her alone." He snaps, pulling you away from the now annoyed man. "Thank you." You say ask Baekhyun to pull you into a quiet, dark room. "Why are you here?" He asks. "I've been teaching here for a year. They asked me to stay so i'm out celebrating tonight." You whisper. "Fuck." He hisses, pushing you against the wall. "You shouldn't be here. It was easier when you weren't." "What Maggie told you.. wasn't the truth. I was in a coma for 3 weeks.. it happened the day you texted me. She thought she was protecting me." You say, needing him to know the truth. "So you never said any of that?" He asks. "No and I told you I didn't." You say. "I was mad. And confused." He admits. "I shouldn't have believed her." "No you shouldn't have." "I can't believe you're here. I've missed you." He breathes, his face so close to yours. Ring Ring Ring Baekhyun sighs, answering his phone frustrated.  "Hello?" He snaps. "Oh hi babe. Yeah I'll come over when I'm done. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Bye." He says, hanging up his phone. "You have a girlfriend?" You ask. "I do." He says, backing away from you. "Shit." "I mean.. old friends can catch up right?" You ask. "And talk." "You're right. Definitely. What's your KKT?" He asks you. You give him your chat ID before hugging and going your separate ways. Not even 10 minutes later he messages you, telling you how much he missed you and how often he thought about you in the last year. [2:43am] You: If I'm being honest, there wasn't a day that went by that I never thought about you too. It might sound creepy but I've been keeping up with you from watching things online. [2:46am] Baekhyun: Oh yeah no, that's not creepy at all. Hahah. It's good to talk to you again and it was good to see you.  You look great, minus the creep. Let me know if he bothers you again. [2:50am] You: unfortunately I have to work with him, so I'm sure he will be an issue. [2:53am] Baekhyun: Just let me know and I'll take care of it. [2:56am] You: i will. Good night Baekhyun. [2:59am] Baekhyun: Goodnight, beautiful. ** The next week you took your students out for a walking field trip, and imagine your surprise when you end up running into Baekhyun at the park. Of course, most of your female students start to lose their minds. "Guys, this is my good friend, Byun Baekhyun." You say, introducing them to him. The smile on Baekhyun's face fades away as you mention him as your friend. "Hello! Yes, I am Ms. L/N's friend." He says through gritted teeth. "It's so nice to meet you all." An hour later, Baekhyun had taken pictures and signed autographs for all the children in your class, leaving them beaming on their walk back to school. You can feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you just know that it is Baekhyun. Opening your app, you were right, he was complaining about what you had called him. [11:13am] Baekhyun: Your friend?? So now we're just friends?? [11:15am] You: Yes we're just friends. Lol. You have a girlfriend, remember. [11:21am] Baekhyun: but still. You owe me. Date, tonight. [11:25am] You: if it's just as friends, i'm all in. [11:28am] Baekhyun: yeah sure, friends. The rest of the afternoon you spent trying to teach, but also trying to plan out your outfit in your head. You and Baekhyun were friends now, and that was good. He had a girlfriend and that was fine, because you were friends. But you didn't want to just be friends. You so wantex more with him. You wanted to kiss him, hold hands, cuddle, have him fuck you. But again, he had a girlfriend. You had to tell yourself that multiple times that afternoon as your thoughts would begin to wander into the dirty neighborhood, thinking about your first time together, the way his hands felt on your body, the way his lips moved against yours, the way your bodys meshed together perfectly. He had a girlfriend. ** That night Baekhyun picked you up in his Audi, playing a song that you'd heard on tiktok quite often, the trend of the men moving to their back seats. Your pussy instantly became wet. He had a girlfriend.   "So what's the plan?" You ask, getting comfortable in the passenger seat. "Ice cream?" He asks. With a smile on your face, you nod yes. Who could ever say no to ice cream? As the two of you drive to a stand way out of Seoul, Baekhyun rests his hands on your bare thigh, causing your clit to throb. He had a girlfriend. You could feel his thumb moving, rubbing your thigh in circles. Fuck. You wanted him bad and you wanted him now. "Stop the car." You say, taking a deep breath. "Everything okay?" He asks, pulling over to the side of the highway, parking the car. "You can't do that.. you can't rub my leg like that." You breathe heavily. "You're turning me on and you have a girlfriend." "Am i turning you on? I haven't even done anything yet." He smirks. "Stop it." You warn him, a hint of a smile on your face. "So you don't want me to do this?" He asks, leaning over, placing a soft, sweet kiss on your lips. You feel like you might faint. "N-no." You stutter. "Or this?" He asks, running his hand from your face down over your breasts, to your thighs, stopping at the hem of your skirt. "Fuck." You whisper. You look over at Baekhyun who slouched back in his seat, slightly bucking his hips, showing off his very large hard cock through his pants. You lick your lips as your body begins to move towards him, before your mind even realizes what you're doing. You reach your hand over, rubbing his clothed cock, his head thrown back against the seat, little moans escape his lips. "Shit." He grunts, bucking his hips once again. You reach your other hand over, working on undoing buttons and zippers. Baekhyun helps you by pulling down his pants, letting his cock spring free. It was bigger than you remembered, but just as thick. You get up on your knees on the passenger seat, leaning over to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, slurping up the pre cum that had been spilling down. You wrap one hand around his length, pumping him while you twirl your tongue around his sensitive tip. "Oh my god." He groans, pushing your head down deeper, making you swallow his cock. You bring your head up, taking a breath before you begin sucking more harshly, Baekhyun's hand remaining on the back of your head, pushing you down. "Stop stop stop." He begs. You lift your head, letting go of his cock with a pop. "I'm gonna cum if you keep going and the only place I wanna cum right now is in your pussy. Back seat. Now." He demands. With a giddy smile, you crawl to the backseat of his car right behind him. Baekhyun sits in the middle seat, his legs spread wide with his cock standing tall, waiting for you to sink down on it. You hike up your skirt, moving your panties to the side while you straddle him, before lining yourself up and sinking down on his cock, stretching out your walls. You pull down your low cut shirt, exposing your perky tits. Baekhyun takes one in his mouth, gently sucking and tugging on your nipple, while you bounce on his cock. "I've missed the way your tight pussy grips my cock." He groans, helping you move your hips to ride him. Baekhyun reaches his hand up, grabbing a clump of your hair, tugging your head towards him, bringing your lips to his. Immediately he slides his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You quicken the pace, grinding yourself on his cock, your clit being rubbed the perfect way. "Oh god, yes." Yoh cry out, breaking the kiss. "Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock." Baekhyun grunts, lifting himself to meet your thrusts, holding you tightly. The two of you are too distracted and desperate for your orgasms, you don't hear Baekhyun's phone ring, two different times. "I'm.. cumming." You cry out, wrapping your arms around Baekhyun's neck, holding him tight as you ride through your high. He continues with his hands on your hips, bouncing you on his cock as he chases his own oragsm. "Fuck." He cries, grunting as he shoots his cum inside you, filling you up. The two of you sit there for a moment, catching your breath before you hear Baekhyun's phone ringing again. "Pass that to me." He says, his cock still inside you. You reach back, grabbing his phone and with the way you moved you can feel his cock growing hard again inside you. "Goddamn." He groans, thrusting into you again. He looks at his caller ID, and puts a finger to his lips, telling you to be quiet while he answers the call. "Hello?" He answers. You circle your hips on his cock. "Whats up?" He asks. You grab your breasts, pinching your nipples. "Yeah no that's fine." He says, clearing his throat. You let out a small moan. Baekhyun reaches his hand up, covering your mouth while you start to really ride his cock. "Look, they're calling me back. I gotta go." He moans, his hand still covering your mouth. "Bye." He says, hanging up the phone, tossing it back up front. "You're a bad girl." He smiles, pulling you in for a kiss. ** For the next few weeks you and Baekhyun would meet up and nine times out of ten, you ended up hooking up. Everytime before you met up, you told yourself you wouldn't sleep with him again but then he would give you a look, or say something that made you melt and give into him. Of course you felt guilty, but you couldn't help yourself. Baekhyun was like that addiction that you couldn't escape. He was the one thing in your life you didn't want to get rid of. "We need to talk." You say, panting as Baekhyun pulls himself out of you. "Do we have too?" He pouts, laying down next to you, his cock still hard. "Yes we do. You have a girlfriend. We can't keep doing this." You say as he sighs. "I know. I know we can't but I don't want to give you up, and it's not like her and I are really heading anywhere, anyways." He says. "Then why not end it?" You ask. "It's good for publicity." He says, pulling you in close to him. "When the time comes, things with her will be done and then you and I can announce our relationship." He smiles. "Are we in a relationship?" You ask. "I would like for you to be my girlfriend." He tells you. "She's my girlfriend on paper but you're mine in real life. You're all I've ever wanted." He smiles, rubbing his head. "Are you sure you want a low class teacher?" You ask. "I couldn't ask for anyone better." He smiles, holding you even closer. ** Dating Byun Baekhyun was hard. Much harder than you had actually anticipated. He was always busy with rehearsal, if not that then promotions, variety shows, interviews, concerts, meetings etc. The list always went on and on. Of course he did his best to make time for you, but at the moment, his relationship with his girlfriend was at its most important peak, so often you found yourself watching videos of them being out in public together, posing together, featuring each other on their social media. Basically doing all the things you wish he could do with you but is unable to. You did your beat to remain positive but the lack of seeing each other, the secluded dates and whispered phone calls were beginning to be a little too much for you. Especially today, when you checked your Instagram and are mey with a very romantic photo of Baekhyun kissing this girl. A kiss that looks sincere and serious. The next photo he looked insanely happy. Maybe it wasn't just for the press, what he had with this girl. Maybe he had real genuine feelings for her but did also for you and didn't know how to choose. Maybe you should just make it easier for him and end things now, before you get anymore attached because if you do, you will never be able to leave, no matter what happens. You want to take your time with this, really think about it before you make a rash decision. You left your apartment, going for a walk to clear your head instead. As you walk passed an alley, you're pulled inside and pinned against the wall by a scary looking woman. "Leave Baekhyun and his girlfriend alone, homewrecker." She shouts, slamming you into the wall before running off. Startled, you ran back to your apartment, calling Baekhyun immediately. "Hi baby." He whispered into the phone. "I'm done, Baekhyun.. i can't do this anymore. Someone just told me to stay away from you and Hwasa. It's just too much and I can't." You say panicked into the phone before hanging up. You toss your phone on the couch, not wanting to talk anymore to him. Your whole body is shaking as you turn on your shower. Shivers spread down your spine as you undress, stepping into the hot water, trying to calm your nerves. "It's okay." You whisper to yourself, taking a deep breath. Twenty minutes later you're still in the shower, sitting on the floor, knees to your chest when your bathroom door opens and Baekhyun walks in. "Baby. You can't do that." He sighs, taking off his clothes to join you. "I can't do this anymore Baekhyun. And it's not just the girl. It's the secret dates, no being in public, not seeing you. It's too hard." You cry. "I know." He whispers, pulling you up and into his arms, the one place that never fails to make you feel safe and secure. "All I want to do is make you happy, so that's what I'm going to do. I'll get this sorted out okay? You need to talk to me. I can't fix things if I don't know what needs fixing." He says. You knew he was right. But you were scared. "I'm all in. Are you?" He asks. You nod your head yes. "Good. I have an idea." He smiles. "Stay there." He tells you, pulling out his phone. A few minutes later, your phone dings, notifying you that Baekhyun was live on his Instagram account, and you felt nervous. You had a feeling you knew what he was going to do but you weren't sure. If there was one thing that you knew about Baekhyun, he was unpredictable and usually liked asking for forgiveness more than asking for permission. "Hello everyone! How are you?" He smiles. You watch him walk around your living room, answering some of the questions. "You're right. I'm not in my usual place. This is a new place. No, it's not Hwasa's." He laughs. "I actually have something to tell you guys." Your stomach drops. What was he doing? "Hwasa and I were never a couple, really. It was for sales for her new album, our managers thought it was good marketing." He says. "No, I'm not single. Guys, I'd like you to meet the love of my life, my beautiful Ayn." He says, grabbing your hand and pulling you close to him. "She and I met a year and a half ago at a Super M meet and greet. We've recently reconnected and I couldn't be happier." He smiles. You look absolutely terrified. You know Baekhyun stans and they could be vicious, vile and just mean. You managed to peek at the comments, and surprisingly they were mainly positive. 'She's so beautiful' 'What a lucky girl!!' 'I ship it!!' Your heart melted at the fact that people were a tally supporting the two of you, something you never expected to happen. "Thank you for all the kind words but now I have to go and make some calls." He laughs, looking at his phone lighting up with texts from his manager, telling him to call him, now. "You didn't have to do that!" You say, after he ends his live. "I didn't but I wanted to. I never want you to feel less than in this relationship, Ayn." He tells you, making you melt. "But now my manager is losing his mind. I have to go. I'll call you later. I love you." He smiles, placing a kiss on your lips before answering his phone and leaving your apartment. Was this real life? Because it sure didn't feel like it. To think you had gone from Soyoung who rarely wanted to be seen in public with you, to Baekhyun who announced his love for you on his Instagram live, in front of millions of fans, was insane. The difference between a toxic relationship and a non toxic one was amazing and you loved it. ** Later that evening, Baekhyun had called you, asking you to come over because he wanted you to have dinner with him and the rest of Super M. Of course you said yes, they were basically his family and you wanted to get to know them better. You only had to knock once before the door was opened for you by Mark, who had a giddy smile on his face. "Nice to see you again. Baekhyun's in the kitchen..but" He pauses "Do you think I could have Lisa's number?" He asks right away. With a laugh you give him the number he desperately seeked, running off the moment he got it. Walking over to the kitchen, you open the door partially before you hear a conversation you're not sure if you should be interrupting.   "She's not good for you Baek." Someone says. "How do you know? You won't even give her a chance." Baekhyun responds. "Kai, i'm sick of this. Back off. I love her. I'm going to marry that girl." "You're going to make her life hard. Harder than it already is. She's damaged goods. You deserve more." Kai says. You know he's right. Even though you've been trying to work on yourself, you're a mess and you likely always will be. Did you want to put Baekhyun through that? Your random mood swings, issues with alcohol, problems with fertility. He probably wanted a family but you weren't sure if you could give him that. "Yeah I know I deserve more. I deserve a better friend who supports me." Baekhyun scoffs. "Don't talk shit about her again. There's nothing wrong with her. Everyone has baggage, everyone has issues, if I didn't want to be there for her and help her through the problems, I wouldn't have bothered. But that's what you do when you love someone. You're there for them regardless if it's good or bad, or you're mad at them or not. Her last relationship was terrible.. she was treated like dirt so yeah there are some problems." Baekhyun says. "But.." Kai starts, before being cut off. "But nothing. You're choosing to see the bad, when I'm looking at the good. She's beautiful, funny and smart. She's got a mouth on her like a sailor and drinks like liquor is going out of style, but she's also generous and courageous and loyal." He tells Kai. This man. This man makes your heart melt. "Im done talking about this. Don't bring it up again. She's my future." He finishes, opening the door to the living room, seeing you standing there with tears in your eyes. "Did you.." he pauses. You nod your head. "Shit. Im sorry baby." He apologises. "I'm too problematic for you." You whisper with a sniffle. "That's one of the many things I love about you." He laughs, taking your hand to drag you into the dining room. The rest of the night was filled with laughter and jokes between you and the rest of the guys. Kai was quiet for most of the night, not actively participating in the conversations. "What's wrong?" Taemin asks him. "I don't think it's a good idea." Kai says, glaring at you. "What have i ever done to you?" You ask him. You're tired of this. You've never done anything to Kai for him to dislike you this much. "I've become quite close to Soyoung, and he's told me quite a bit about you." Kai says. "I didn't want to tell you Baekhyun, but since you're not listening to anything else I guess I'll have too." "Tell me what?" Baekhyun asks. "Ayn here went crazy on Soyoung. He went out with friends one night, and when he came home she had trashed his entire apartment, was screaming and crying and threatened him with a knife. Is that the type of woman you want?" Kai asks. You are still there with tears welling up in your eyes. He wasn't wrong, but clearly Soyoung didn't tell him the full story either. "Do you know why that had happened? Did he tell you?" You ask, your voice shaky. "He said he didn't do anything. You just lost it on him." Kai says smugly. "Hah. Sounds like him." You sniffle. "So I guess he didn't tell you earlier that night before he left he had hit me a few times? Told me that I was stupid and useless and a waste of skin. Said that I deserved to be hit, that maybe it would knock some sense into me." You cry. "Did he tell you that when he came home he tried to hit me again, and that's why i threatened him with a knife? I fully admit to trashing his apartment but I think I had a pretty good reason. Same with threatening him. I was sticking up for my life. Remember there's two sides to every story before you start sticking up for a woman beater." You snap, standing up from your chair. "I'm sorry." You whisper to everyone, hurriedly leaving the room. "You're a piece of fucking work." Baekhyun snaps at Kai, leaving the table to follow you. While he walks away he can hear the rest of the members standing up for you. Baekhyun opens the front door and finds you crouched down, crying into your hands. "Come here." He whispers, picking you up and bringing you to his room. He lays you on the bed, arms wrapped tightly around you as you cry into his chest. "I'm sorry." You whimper.   "You have nothing to apologize for." He tells you. "You deserve someone not so fucked up." "I don't want anyone else. Just you. Past and all." He answers. "I don't think I can have children." You say. "We will figure it out when it is time to." He tells you. "I just want you." You fell asleep that night still wrapped in his arms, never have been feeling more safe. ** Over the next few months, Baekhyun had been hinting at a surprise he had for you, but refused to give you any details on it, telling you that you had to wait, that it called for the right moment. Then one morning, he called you at 7am and told you to get ready and be ready by 8am. Today was the day for your surprise. Baekhyun picked you up in front of your apartment, making sure to blind fold you before leaving anywhere. "Any guesses?' He asks, driving to a special destination. "Breakfast?" You ask, hungrily. He laughs. "No baby, sorry." "I don't know." You sigh, waiting for the ride to be over. A little while later the car stops and Baekhuun brings you inside a noisy building. You can hear announcements over the speakers, so you knew it was the airport. "Are we going somewhere?" You ask. "Nope." He answers, taking off your blindfold and making you face him. "Are you ready." He asks. You give him a look before he turns you around and you see your three best friends running towards you. The tears are instant as you run towards them, embracing them all at once. "W-what? How? Oh my god." You cry, holding them all tightly. "Baekhyun set it up." Lisa cries. Letting go of the group, you hug Beth first, then Lisa, leaving Maggie for last. You hadn't talked to her much, since you hadn't left things very good between the two of you. "I'm sorry." She whispers as he hugs you tightly. "I'm so so sorry." "It's the past. It's okay. Let's leave it there." You say, hugging her back. ** That night, the five of you went for dinner at a fancy restaurant and for whatever reason Baekhyun was very nervous. He sat there, his leg shaking as you four girls talked about everything. His mind seemed to be off in space, as he thought hard about something. No matter how many times you asked, he was always telling you that things were fine and that he was just letting you guys all catch up. After you all had eaten, Baekhyun stood up from his seat abruptly, looking you in the eyes as he got down on one knee, pulling out a ring box. You sat there shocked, with your mouth opened wide as your friend squealed and screamed. "Ayn L/N. You are the light and love of my life. Would you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?" He asks. You can't speak, just nod. So that's what you did. You nodded yes a million times, unable to even believe that he had just proposed to you. You got to spend the rest of your life with the love of your life. ** A year later, you're in a room with your best friends, while you wear a big poofy white dress. "Just do it after." Beth whines. "No I need to do it now." You demand. With a sigh, the four of you make the way into the bathroom. They all lift up your giant dress, letting you stick the small test underneath you while you pee on it quickly. "How long do we wait?" You ask, placing the test on the sink. "Three minutes." Maggie answers. Your stomach twists and turns as you wait the longest three minutes of your life. The doctor had told you and Baekhyun to not get your hopes up and that the chances of you ending up pregnant were slim to none. So when you missed your period and felt nauseous, you were skeptical but decided to take the test anyways and now was the moment of truth. You grab the test, turning it over and see two very bright pink lines. Positive. You do your best not to cry, not wanting to ruin your makeup before you get married. "Bride, lets go." You hear from outside the bathroom. Making sure you're okay, you head out, your new friend, and escort down the hall Kai waiting for you. You link arms as the grand double doors open, revealing Baekhyun waiting for you down the aisle while your friends and family fill up the room. "Welcome everyone. We have gathered her today to witness the union of Ayn L/N and Byun Baekhyun." The officiant says. "Before we begin, is there anyone who thinks this couple should not be wed?" You nervously waited for someone to say something but when it didn't come, you told him to continue. "The couple has written their own vows." The officiant says, letting the two of you speak. "I promise to always love you, even when things are bad, to never yell, or leave angry. I promise to always tell you how beautiful you are and hold you when you're sad. But most of all, I promise to always remind you that you are good enough, too good for this world and for me, and I promise to never let you forget it." Baekhyun whispers, holding back his tears. "I promise to always love you, be there for you through the good and the bad and in between. I promise to always support you in the decisions you make, and to always remind you how important you are to me. I promise to be your rock when you need it, your everything." You cry. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." He says. Baekhyun pulls you in for a kiss, dipping you down before bringing you back up. ** Later that night, during the reception dance, you slide your test to Baekhyun, leaving him speechless. "Are you serious?" He asks. "Doctors appointment Monday." You whisper, crying again. "Why are you crying?" He asks, pulling you into him. "What if it doesn't stick? What if I'm not a good mom if it does?" You ask. "Baby." He smiles. "It will stick. You're perfect. You'll be an amazing mom, you know why?" He akss. "Why?" "Because you are good enough." For once in your life, you finally believed someone when they said that. You knew Baekhyun wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. You always have and will be, good enough.