#i can't wait for the existential crisis/mental breakdown he's gonna have in the full game
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So I've been in a bit of a blocked headspace recently, and when Jambee retweeted that one pic- of Jack looking at himself basically- I got struck with an idea.
I figured it was gonna be about 300 words but here we are about 743 words later, haha! Hope ya'll enjoy!
(Idr how to read more on mobile, whoops, hope this doesnt clog up too much space!)
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Mirrors.
There was nothing worse, honestly.
He'd been glad his Sunshine just assumed he couldn't see his reflection since they couldn't. Lying to them is something he wouldn't have had it in him to do, although he certainly didn't want to tell them the truth either.
He could see his reflection.
Although reflections were supposed to show yourself, were they not?
He couldn't tell which one of them was the real him.
The real him...
Who was the real him?
Surely this was, wasn't it?
Blue hair, red face paint, primary colored clothing and a chipper tune.
But if this truely was him, then why didn't his reflection, well, reflect that?
Brown hair, tired eyes, and those tattoos he eventually wished he'd never gotten.
None of that was him, no. At least, not anymore. It was quite clear when he looked down at himself and saw that he was how he wanted to be.
So why was he the one staring back at him? Why did his reflection not reflect him?!
Is this not good enough?
Sunny Day Jack was perfect.
Perfect bod, perfect friend, perfect at keeping his life together, perfect lover-
He could go on about how perfect he was.
It was quite the struggle to get here, so why shouldn't he feel a little bit proud about how perfect he'd become?
Yet here I am, still like this.
Sure his past may be a bit more... Imperfect. But we all make mistakes at some point! As long as we learn from them and do better, that's what matters most. That's how one becomes perfect.
The perfect spouse, the perfect defender, the perfect caregiver, the perfect actor-
There was a gunshot, and then...
He was perfect for the role, because he was the role! Nobody embodied Sunny Day Jack better than he, for he was THE Sunny Day Jack!
...
Was
...
It's clear he's not too happy with himself. With who he was. He tried so hard to change, to be perfect- for everyone else's sake! Say the right things, don't do the wrong things, and bury, bury, bury, bury, BURY everything that wasn't relevant to his new life anymore.
He tried so d- so HARD to make sure everything would be perfect and yet...
The reality he was a ghost had not escaped him.
His Sunshine was the only one who could see him, hear him, touch him...
If being unseen and unheard and unfelt by the world at large wasn't the qualities of a ghost, then what was it?
He cherished the bond he had with his beloved Sunshine. They gave him reprieve from that torment, proved that perhaps God had heard his prayers and sent someone to save him-
Saving that wouldn't need done if it wasn't for-
A gloved hand rested on the mirror. His reflection looked like it was crying. Was he crying too? He couldn't tell.
And quite frankly, the anger beginning to bubble up didn't care.
If it wasn't for a couple stupid mistakes, this mess wouldn't have ever been a thing! Why couldn't you have just stopped and thought about things for once in your life?! Maybe actually thought about the future and what you could have done to help it?! No, no no no no no! Making a statement right then and there was all that mattered. Yes, nothing truly important mattered until you had already messed everything up, and left it to a different, actually mature version of yourself to fix-
"Jaaack? Where aaaare youuuu?~"
A familiar voice carried from the bedroom.
It snapped Jack out of his thoughts and he froze, a fist he did not realize he had raised mere inches from shattering the mirror. His reflection stared back him, hollow and desperate.
He looked away, embarrassed. Slowly, he lowered his arms and relaxed his grip.
What a silly reaction, shattering a mirror wouldn't do anything but-
-but bury things yet again.
Perhaps it best some things stay buried.
"I'm in the living room Sunspot!~"
His voice rang out, matching his beloved's sing-song tune.
Already he was doing his best to forget what almost transpired. Moving quickly to the couch and plastering on his signature smile, his mind took heed and moved onto more important matters.
Such as looking up to see his bright little ray of Sunshine emerging from the hallway with a blanket in one hand and a dvd in the other.
"Movie night?"
He patted the open spot next to him.
"I'd love nothing more."
#minors dni#heeheehee#is this angst? i think this counts as angst#hope ya'll liked it#let's suffer together#sunny day jack#something's wrong with sunny day jack#sdj#swwsdj#that poor man is so traumatized#i can't wait for the existential crisis/mental breakdown he's gonna have in the full game#i mean i would like to hug him and help him through it#but also I'm a messy bitch of a writer and I enjoy messy moments
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