#i can't tell the difference between i and l in this fuckin font

[sanderssideblog]

i lost my fear of falling (just kidding)

we have 100 followers now so i wrote a fic. this was hard, i almost died about 10 times and also tagging @princeyandanxiety cause 1) i love bells, bells is the best 2) she wanted to read something i wrote. so now you have to suffer because she wanted it.

also sunshine said it’s okay to post this shit so blame her.

(thoughts cause i'm shit: i have no idea how to write, i have no idea what i'm doing, i haven't done this in like. a year or something. also why the fuck did you think following this blog was a good idea. okay, thanks for your attention)

warings: shitty dream logic (by which i mean "dreams don't really follow any rules", not "dream version of logan who is shitty" okay?), writer with no idea how to write.

A thousand bees or some strange and loud monster living in Anxiety's room - this was currently the most probable explanation of the sound  that could be heard everywhere  and seemed to be inescapable. After about two hours of listening to it Prince was ready to go there and kill whatever was making the noise. The only problem was that Anxiety didn't want to open the door. Maybe he was asleep. At 6pm. Or maybe he's gone deaf from this strange buzzing and didn't hear the knocking.  Or... maybe the thing that annoyed Prince for hours ate twenty second pilot and now lived in his room. Which meant the sound was going to stay with them forever. He just had to react, he couldn't leave it like this - after all Anxiety could still be alive.

Prince slowly opened the door - fortunately it wasn't locked - trying to stay quiet in case Anxiety was still alive but asleep or the creature was extremely sensitive to noise. The room was bright, empty and smelt like static. It was also strangely silent, as if the noise Roman heard before entering the room just stopped. All of the furniture was gone, the bed was the only thing that didn't disappear. When Roman noticed Anxiety's jacket on the floor next to it, he felt his heart stop for split second. Something was wrong. Anxiety leaving his room without his armor? This was not possible. Not in his reality.

The window was open and the usual night sky, which appeared every time Anxiety felt like having a window in his room, was replaced by a city. The view didn't feel right; it didn't look like something dark trait's mind was able to create. It was too bright and soulless. The glass it was made of turned the place into a maze of mirrors. Roman's reflection was staring at him from the opposite side of the street, looking a bit too scared for his liking. “Anxiety, are you there?” he asked into empty space, hoping wherever the edgelord went, he could still hear him. There was no response.

He knew he wasn't supposed to feel afraid, even though every cell of his body was yelling at him to go and find Anxiety before it's too late. The Sides' dreams, mental pictures or thoughts getting this real were never a good thing. Prince still remembered the black hole that randomly opened in the middle of their living room because of Logan thinking about space too hard - this situation seemed much more dangerous and probably couldn't be solved by snapping one's fingers in front of Anxiety's face. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was nowhere to be seen anyway, unless that lonely figure on one of the buildings’ roof who was contrasting with the environment even more than Roman’s sash was him.

The person was standing dangerously close to the edge and looking down with their hands in their pockets. They looked as if they were struggling not to jump; not with themself though, with some external force which was trying to push them from the roof. Prince spent a few seconds too long only looking at the person, unable to move and considering his options. He could control the dream reality to some extent, he was the one who created most of Thomas’ dreams after all. He wasn’t sure if he could do it while being in reality created and controlled by someone as powerful as himself but he had to try. He didn’t react quickly enough. Strange sound filled the air again. It wasn’t buzzing; it was a scream of the person falling from the roof.

Roman channeled most of his dream-controlling powers into slowing down the person’s fall just enough to give himself the time he needed to get to the building and catch them. This wasn’t the best thing he could do - longer fall seemed even more traumatising for whoever was forced to jump - but his mind was blank. He was in his own panic mode, trying to think too fast and dealing with things he couldn’t control as much as he need to. There was no time to come up with a better, more creative plan.

Roman turned around to check if he could turn what was behind the door to Anxiety’s room into a staircase. He could already feel his powers slowly draining his energy. The stairs were incomplete. They lacked some of the steps and didn’t look too steady but using them was still a better option than jumping down from Anxiety’s room’s window. He would probably have survived it, he just really didn’t want to check it at that moment, the dream reality he was in didn’t have to work like his own.

Despite his own creation trying to kill him by randomly falling apart, he managed to get out of the building. The street he found himself on seemed endless and for a moment he couldn’t even decide which way to go. Everything looked bigger and more sterile, the strange smell that reminded him of static was there again, making him nauseous. He couldn’t see the falling person from here, the scream could still be heard echoing between the buildings.  He decided to go… He sighed. It was impossible to tell the directions in this place, so he just trusted his instinct. He called Anxiety a few more times, but the only response was the screech.

Roman didn’t know how long he’d run before it all stopped. The imaginary city suddenly was silent and even emptier. He looked up. The dark figure was on the roof again and the mysterious force of whatever haunted Anxiety’s dreams was trying to push them from it again. Prince took a second to remember exactly where he was supposed to run to. He still felt as if he was exactly where he started but he had to somehow get to the building and save the person. This was his responsibility as a prince and he couldn’t just leave. Even though he was almost sure the dark figure was Anxiety and he… he didn’t really think Anxiety deserved it but sometimes he was ready to push the dark trait from some roof just to make him shut up when Thomas needed to think. The urge to at least free him from the loop of falling now was stronger than Roman’s personal opinion on Anxiety which quietly whispered to leave him to his nightmares forever. Prince couldn’t do it.

He slowed the time again and tried to run faster. He didn’t even know how much energy he used on getting to the building the person was falling from but he was sure he will need about a week of sleep after this. The strange smell was making it hard to breathe and the air felt heavy. Running wasn’t easy, trying to keep an eye on the dark figure before they disappeared again was even more difficult. He was almost there. He leapt forward when the person almost touched the ground but he didn’t manage to catch them. He swore under his breath as the person appeared back on the roof.

“Anxiety?”

The dark figure looked at him but didn’t do anything. He didn’t even fight back this time, he just let the force push him once again.

The fall felt faster. It hurt just as much as the previous time. Anxiety wasn’t sure if Roman standing on the street below was just his imagination but he didn’t care - he had no energy to fight back. The only thing he was focused on was screaming and trying not to die. It was just his dream. He couldn’t die but he couldn’t stop it. Hoping whoever played with time wouldn’t do it again didn’t work and everything slowed down again; the air pressure still felt the same. He’s already crashed into the street a few times and it didn’t wake him up, so why would some imaginary Prince catching him help?  

It didn’t help. The second Roman touched him, the time went back to normal and Anxiety panicked. He suddenly wasn’t sure what was going on around him, how Prince even appeared in his dream, how any of it happened. What if it was real but as a part of a person he couldn’t just die? This may not have been a serious panic attack like the first time he felt but it still didn’t feel good. Roman was holding him tightly, waiting for his breathing to become normal again.

“Are you okay?” Prince asked, trying to help him get on his feet.

Anxiety didn’t answer. They were in his room again, on the floor next to his bed. He attempted to push himself out of Roman’s arms but it didn’t work. And even if he succeeded, he probably wouldn’t be able to stand up. His body felt heavy and strange. “I can sit on my own, thank you very much” he said.

Prince carefully let him sit on the floor and only then Anxiety noticed Patton sitting on the bed and Logan standing in the doorway. They looked concerned, at least if concerned meant about to cry or slightly less indifferent than usually. Morality moved to sit next to Anxiety and reached to hug Anxiety. “What happened?” he asked, smiling sadly. The dark trait didn’t answer. “He was falling from a roof. Over and over again” said Roman instead. He sounded angry. The voice in Anxiety’s head that went away during his nightmare suddenly started to scream again. He’s probably like this because of you. You wasted his time.

"Is there... anything we can do for you?" Morality asked, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible.

Anxiety shrugged, removing Patton's hand from his shoulder. He didn't look at them, he didn't make any attempt to get up from the floor.

"Anx-"

"Leave."

do i write part two now or what