#i can't fuckin deal with my parents i'm going to hit my father with a stick

[keshimasu]

is wednesday just cursed today is everyone having a shit time

[greenhaired-gremlin]

rewatching HH pt 3

WEE DAD BEAT DAD MY SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

the intro is a bop tho. i literally never skip it

Charlie having an unhealthy sleep schedule is so real

"Kill everyone?' real honestly

"you got daddy issues?" his smirk I'm dead

EMO CHARLIE

LUCIFER MY MENTALLY ILL NEURODIVERGENT LOML

the scripting before answering is so real

niffty in the background just chilling (literally acting like Alastor)

Pen's (i can't spell his name help) fuckin OwO face constantly

"TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" real

Al plotting

LUCI GREETING ALL THE CREATURES MAKES ME SO HAPPY "KEEKEE" OWO

AL: meets literal king of hell - immediately insults him

Luci canonly being the first person to make Al say the fuck word

the roaches fucking while Charlie is showing Luci the parlor

ok you can't tell me Luci didn't realize Vaggie was an angel like halfway through and just didn't say anything

Hell's Greatest Dad is such a vibe. Luci's little spin im sjhbdhjsd

DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA REFERENCE (its funny cause i live in Georgia hehe)

"sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud" can confirm

Husk's face when Mimzy shows up he rlly is just like "fuck this bullshit"

Alastor is very annoyed by Mimzy you can tell. in the back he's just like -v-

THE BEEZLEJUICE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND GHSBYGASDYG

WOO ALASTOR LORE

okay so its implied that Alastor killed most, if not all, of the overlords when he showed up, but Zestial and Carmilla are known to have BEEN THERE FOR A WHILE... so im curious if he knew he couldn't kill them or if they made an unofficial deal

okay i love Al as a character but husk and his convo scene makes me so mad

al is terrifying

THE JAZZ AS AL WALKS AWAY

husk shaking like a cat i have so many headcanons for husk rn (lmk if anyone wants them...)

HOLY SHIT WHEN LUCI'S TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN VAGGIE LOOKS AWAY GUILTILY

vaggie speaking Spanish

HUSK JUST -_- this entire episode is so relatable

PEN SAVING NIFFTY

okay but the doubling voice when Al uses his power. makes brain go brrr

Charlie: defending Al

Al: literally dropping a loan shark down his throat in the back

Al being done with Mimzy is so important to me. probably gonna post a full thing on it cause it's actually a really vital thing

Husk and Angel eating popcorn. me too besties

More Than Anything hits me right in the daddy issues i literally almost cried that first time i watched it.

okay but Lilith taking Charlie away? i really think there's something between Luci and Lilith that we don't know bc like... what?

"I've missed that smile" IJHWBUYSHYBYHS

"I'm grateful you're my daughter/father" UGH RLLY CALLING MY DADDY ISSUES OUT

PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD-

Vaggie at the end is just like oh fuck

[catscraftsandcommentary]

Okay, so now I have an idea for a new AU, THANKS.

(Or at least, I finally fleshed out the idea where I was like "I want a modern AU just so I can give Livi and Aiden both tons of ridiculous cat lady t-shirts.")

Modern AU. Milena comes from a family that's part political dynasty, part business powerhouse. I'm going to say they deal in luxury textile goods, because Milena's hobby is - instead of embroidery - fabric painting and dyeing. And eventually screenprinting. Basically modern types of decorating fabric.

Don't ask about her childhood tie-dye phase, BTW. It was less a "phase" and more a "decade." Then she discovered batik fabric. And screen printing. And five dozen other techniques.

Marta double-majored in law and business, was the president of her sorority, graduated top of her class, and is a grade A bitch. Their father LOVES her. Marika is more a political activist. She doesn't necessarily like the political game, but she knows how to play it.

Milena just noped straight out of all of that and hides in her little crafting studio, designing new prints to sell for her father's company (ugh) and her secret Etsy store (yay).

She's currently studying textiles at Oxenfurt University (their fine arts program is the best in the world, okay, she is in heaven), when she convinces her parents to let her take a semester abroad at the university in Ard Carraigh. While there, she hears the strangest rumor: apparently, the head of the student body at the rival school (Kaer Morhen University, a weird little place with a Witcher for a mascot, whatever that is) once full-body tackled and threatened to geld the former student body president, who was then expelled in disgrace. And no one can agree why. She possibly lets her curiosity get the better of her and goes to an away game at the infamous KMU, where she's almost immediately accosted by a giant redhead.

"Hey! Fuckin' hippy! Are you LOST?!? Farmers market's five miles the other direction. And they ain't out on game days anyway. Can't get fuckin' parking."

...and that's how Milena meets Lambert. She asks to be shown around campus, and - unused to having a cute girl in a sundress ask him for LITERALLY ANYTHING - Lambert surprises himself by agreeing. They end up meeting some of his friends at a party - the Witcher schools correspond to university departments, which each have their own mascot because reasons.

(I have an entire headcanon for how Geralt got voted student body president - no he did not ask for it at ALL, yes he still ran away into the woods after it happened.)

At some point, Milena starts a THRIVING business printing designs onto shirts, tank tops, dresses, bags, and anything anyone brings her. All her friends end up with lots of custom shirts from her.

At some point, she runs into Jaskier and mentions KMU and all the many, wonderfully attractive co-eds there. He, of course, begs to go along on her next trip to visit her boyfriend...and shows up wearing the most provocative shirt she's seen him in yet.

("FREE LOVE...and orgasms")

He takes one look at Geralt and goes "I want to climb you LIKE A TREE."

As Geralt is turning bright red, Lambert asks "does he know Geralt's a forestry major?"

"Shh," Milena chides.

"Are you really hitting on my boyfriend in front of me?" Eskel asks.

Jaskier looks between Geralt and Eskel, wonder dawning on his face. "Two for one special?"

Aiden magically appears with popcorn. (Appearing out of nowhere with a snack just in time to watch something hilarious is his GIFT, okay? No one knows how he does it, but it's his thing. Also being hella snarky.) "I'd watch it."

Just saw an ad for what may be THE most Jaskier shirt ever:

a racerback tank saying "the only reason I'd kick you out of bed is to FUCK YOU...on the floor"

Geralt nearly swallowed his tongue the first time he saw Jaskier wearing it. Eskel chuckled and asked if that was an offer.