#i can't finish that sentence because it'll nuke this post from orbit lol

[stone-stars]

Transcript:

[8bbc theme fades out] Murph: Welcome to 8-bit book club, the only book club that makes you dumber. (laughs) I'm laughing because Emily has the mic at the ready to interrupt me. [Caldwell laughs.] Interrupt the intro. But yes, I'm joined as always by my life-slash-comedy partner, Emily Axford. Emily: Sup, bitch! Caldwell: (laughs) not really on theme, but okay. Murph: Whatup. Yeah, whatup. Uh, and the, uh-- Emily: Oh, I didn't even think to do that. We just were talking about "bitch" so much before we started this. Caldwell: Yeah. Murph: Yeah, and the, uh, Aerith Gainsborough to my Cloud Strife, Caldwell Tanner. Caldwell: (laughs) What's up, it's me, the music bitch! [Emily and Murph laugh.] Murph: Yeah, what's up bitches! Caldwell: Can't get enough of the stuff! [Emily laughs] Murph: We're say-- we're saying "bitch" a lot today, apparently. Emily came in and she kept calling everyone bitch, and referring to herself as bitch. Caldwell: Emily-- Emily said it was cool if we did it. Murph: She said-- Emily: (quietly) No, I said I'm allowed to. Murph: What were you saying? Because we're gonna go-- we're gonna go out to eat after this, and you said-- Emily: I said (exaggerated) this bitch is getting meat! Murph: This bitch is getting meat. You also-- Emily: (exaggerated) This bitch is getting the 12-ounce New York Strip Steak! [Caldwell laughs.] Murph: You were also talking about daddy. Daddy is taking us to go get dinner. Emily: Yeah, I said-- If we record a very good podcast, daddy's gonna take us to get some steak! Murph: This is… Caldwell: That's true. And you meant like-- Murph: Off to a strange, sexual start. Caldwell: You meant like, our collective daddy. Like, the kind of philosophical daddy, which represents you self-disciplining yourself. Emily: Well-- what I said is that everyone has their own inner daddy. Caldwell: Right. Emily: And inner daddy can treat you if you-- um-- if you are good. Caldwell: Right. And that's what-- Emily: You have an inner baby and an inner daddy. Murph: Awh. What? [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Caldwell: I don't like where this is going. Emily: Baby I mean like-- child. Caldwell: Right Murph: Okay. Emily: Not like baby like, santa baby. Caldwell: Listen, Murph, we're past that basic bullshit where we talk about self care. It's all about uh-- treating your little inner baby-- [Emily laughs.] Caldwell and Murph: --and being your own daddy. Emily: You have to discipline-- Murph: We have discussed in the past being your own daddy. Emily: You have to discipline your inner baby, and be your own daddy. (laughs) So stop going and getting pedicures and acting like that's what you owe yourself. No, your inner baby is soft. Caldwell: Right. Emily: It needs to start pumping up. Murph: Oh my god. Caldwell: Hey. Spare the rod, spoil the daddy. [Emily cackles. Caldwell laughs.] Murph: Everybody-- Alright. Alright bitches, shut the fuck up. Uh, this week-- Emily: Spare the-- [cackles] Murph: Would you guys--? This one's-- This is gonna be a loose one, 'cause we didn't read a book.