#i can't even remember real human names in my own life

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Me: I can learn one name per character at best, though I'll resort to nicknames for everyone except the main cast

Asian Dramas: This it the main character, he has a name, a courtesy name, a title, and a name from his past life. This is the other main character, she has a name, a childhood nickname that only certain people can use, a title, an alias, a name from her past life, and then she got married...

[snoopyhq]

Jealous viktor + reader 🙏

˚ ♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ so with my best, my very best, i set you free

(i love laufey 🗣️ her cover of "i wish you love" with the icelandic orchestra? 2:49 of heaven)

type: viktor x reader

summary: headcanons and a drabble of jealous viktor. headcanons are pre-relationship, the drabble is the established relationship ✪ ꨄ︎

word count: 2415

a/n: OMG FIRST ASK I'M SO HONORED I'M SO EXCITED YIPPEE !!! will be working on the others whenever i have the time, but TRUST i am plotting and scheming <3 any other askers, feel free to drop by! i hope i did your request justice, dear anon.

It was unfair to you, and to him, in his most miserable moments of pure self-pity

Viktor envied those who were healthy. He wished he wasn't born with the circumstances he was dealt. He would trade anything to spend one day with a respiratory system that didn't choke him from the inside out every time he took a breath

He was jealous of you, initially, when you first met

You seemed to have it so easy

Easy laughter, easy conversation, easy friends. You had an established life, you were loved, and you held yourself together with such ease that he sometimes wonders how much you're really holding back

He feels bad for assuming you were dealing with awful problems. But it was very likely. I mean, who was truly that... happy? Well off? At ease with themself and their role in the world? He was probably projecting

And then you somehow, by all the miracles a human could possibly be granted, managed to worm your way into his life and secure yourself there too

Viktor vehemently rejected you at first. He was much like a stray cat. You just gotta continuously give them love on their own terms, and often times, it was slow, and that concept applied to Viktor too

It started with small things. Brief greetings where you called him by name

"Good morning, Viktor."

"Nice to see you here today, Viktor."

"Viktor, you have a good night ok? Get home safe."

Including him in conversations. Commentary about how you two just happened to be in the same place at the same time. The library, a cafe, randomly in the middle of a bustling street

You always had that breezy way of acknowledging things. What a nice coincidence. It was all genuine

You were pleased to be surprised by his presence

Wordlessly holding the door for him, even if you really didn't have to wait. But it was never a big deal, so

He pushed it away. Brushed it off, and tried to forget about it, but those little moments kept circling through his mind like an irritating tape he couldn't dislodge from the disc player, and turning the TV off wasn't doing shit when those scenes were basically burned onto the screen

Like the natural progression of the lunar cycle, Viktor found himself unconsciously expecting you in his life

He can't remember a time when you weren't

Your greetings, your little gestures of kindness, that skill of small talk that meant so, so much to him were cherished like an altar of worship

While he was in no way, shape, or form completely opening himself up to befriending any more people, he began to feel much more natural with you and others you gave your time to

Which brought him to his current bit of emotional turbulence

That prickling in his chest whenever he saw you with other people, giving them your precious words and quality time? Yeah, he shouldn't be feeling this

You were allowed to have other friends! You had people in your life before him, and it doesn't mean you consider him any less just because you spent a moment or two with someone else!

He would tighten his grip on his cane, those mantras feverishly chanting in his mind as he walked in circles, attempting to reign his emotions into a more rational state

He had no right to feel jealous like this, but he couldn't help it

Jayce was his only real companion before, and now that he was a council member, he had less time for Viktor. He had the city to nurture and shape, a big responsibility. The loneliness of the lab was barely a noticeable shift from before

Now, you arrived as if by careless chance, giving him another glimpse, another hit of company, and it was maddeningly cruel to have those doses be in such short time frames

He was given what he needed and wanted, but never fully

Accepting that reality was going to be harder than accepting you truly wishing to be around him, in all his sardonic glory, his blunt nature that had most other people walking away. Just not you

To grapple with this selfish desire was humiliating

He was fully aware of how innately human it all was. If only it were easier. Someday.

For now, he would wait and bask in all the attention and friendship you offered him so willingly

You stood in front of your mirror, going over your carefully put together look one last time. You wanted to look good, and having the outfit fall into place like how you planned it in your head always gave you an extra boost of happiness before you left the house. Straightening the collar of your top one last time, you were finally satisfied.

Viktor was waiting for you in the living room. He stood up when you finally appeared, greeting you with a kiss to your cheek and a murmured "You look enchanting, as always."

You laughed and hugged him.

"And you're dashing, as per usual."

With your arm linked through his, the two of you went on your way. He had planned the date tonight. The winding route led to the sparkling, five-tiered fountain that marked the center of the shopping fair. The flowing water sparkled and danced beneath the fairy lights strung through the evergreens surrounding the space, and orchestral music floated up from where the quintet performed.

You two often went here after a long, stressful week, dining at one of the outdoor tables and idly chatting before hitting a couple stores. Most of the time, it would be the bookshop, the local woodcarver, and then the bakery. You had made it a tradition to buy one another a sweet treat, and it was always a delight to see if your guesses of enjoyment would be met or not.

There was certainly not a lack of other people around you, many of whom were also hand in hand. The center was a popular spot for local students and couples to unwind and spend time together.

When you both had your fill of sights and perusing your respective comforts, you made your way back to the fountain. The musicians had struck up a lively waltz, and many were dancing along now. Both of you shared a look, and moved to join in, albeit towards the edge of the crowds.

Dancing with Viktor was one of your favorite activities. He moved with such assuredness and care for your space, making him all the more captivating in his graces. The respectful placement of his hand on your waist, never going too far and risking your discomfort in public, and never straying away lest he appeared bored, Viktor made sure you were his priority.

After the song concluded, you spun Viktor around slowly to the rhythm of the music drawing to a close, dipping him into a kiss during the final note.

His cheeks were slightly flushed, both from the exertion and from your affection.

"I'm going to grab a drink. We can head home after, if you'd like," you told him, head leaning on his shoulder as he walked with you back up the steps.

"That's perfectly fine. I can hold your bag while you do that."

Oh, Viktor. Ever the gentleman.

You went inside the establishment, and ordered yourself a shirley temple with sweet cream, fully planning to share with him. You knew he had a penchant for the more saccharine in terms of taste. While you waited to order, another patron joined you after placing their order.

"Busy place tonight, isn't it?" they commented.

You turned your attention to them, surprised a stranger was making conversation with you, but you didn't mind. All harmless small talk, after all. You would be leaving soon anyways when your order was finished, so why not pass the time with pleasantries?

"It's one of the most popular cafes around here," you replied. "Friday nights always means live music, so people love to flock here. I should know. I frequent here often." you finished with a smile, and received one in return.

They continued engaging you in conversation, and you soon realized it was taking a bit for your drink. A shirley temple wasn't complicated, and you were worried something was wrong. Maybe they were short-staffed tonight? Did an accident occur in the back?

"Are you worried about your drink?"

"No, not really. More so the workers here," you were honest. Some of them were fellow students you see at the academy, and others knew you as a regular, and you had grown quite fond of the staff as they were of you.

"That's a surprise. You're very sweet."

Their order quickly arrived, and they bid you farewell before departing into the night. You walked up to the counter, asking if everyone was ok. The barista reassured you, saying it was only going to take a little while, and that everything is alright now. Relieved, you went back to your perch.

Outside, Viktor was waiting anxiously. This was taking a lot longer than he had anticipated.

When someone emerged from the cafe, he was tempted to get up and ask them if they'd seen you in there.

Yes, my partner. About this tall, very beautiful eyes, a smile you can't miss. Have you seen...?

God. He was contemplating approaching a stranger just to inquire about you. Luckily (or was it?) for him, they must've sensed him sneaking glances at the cafe and at them, because they approached him cheerily.

"You look a little lost. Need some help?" they asked.

"Oh, it's alright. I'm just waiting for someone."

At that, they perked up.

"It wouldn't happen to be someone wearing the same colored blouse as your vest would it?"

Yes. It was. He confirmed it.

"That's perfect actually! I was just talking to them, and since you know them, do you think they would be interested in exchanging contact information with me? They were quite lovely company, and I wouldn't mind getting to know them better."

Viktor could feel his heart drop and the temperature in his soul rise several degrees. What was going on? Where were you? What had happened in those minutes that you were gone?

"I will... ask them," he attempted to keep his tone even. "Mind giving me your contact information to pass along?"

The stranger happily handed Viktor a piece of paper, their messy scrawl sending a sting of irritation through him. That penmanship was not worthy of you, and would certainly not compare to the intricate scripting of his own handwritten notes and letters to you.

When you finally rejoined him, you could tell immediately something was off. You questioned him about it, and he huffed, telling you not to worry about it as you walked home. He didn't even pay any mind to the bag that hung on your arm, too caught up in his insecurities and worries.

That stranger was so much like you. So approachable. Good conversationalist. He couldn't help but imagine a scenario of you two getting along a little too well, and that made something deep inside him hurt. Clearly, he wasn't as good as keeping his thoughts off his face as he believed, or you had simply gotten better at understanding him, because you promptly asked him again.

"Come on, Viktor. Talk to me. What's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"

"If you knew the full extent of what I'm thinking of, you wouldn't be so quick to call my mind beautiful," he grumbled tersely.

"You can't judge my reaction for me. Spill."

He bit the inside of his cheek. Finally, he confessed. It felt like ripping out stitches from his tongue.

"... someone at the coffee shop. They asked me if I knew you, and then asked if you would be interested in their contact information."

At that, you raised an incredulous eyebrow. Ah. You were blissfully oblivious of the jarring events.

"Viktor, I promise nothing is wrong. We were both waiting for our drinks, and they happened to be making small talk with me. That's all. I love you with my whole heart, and no one else can ever--will not ever--compare."

His heart fluttered. He knew that was the realistic truth, but it was nice to hear reassurance from you anyways.

"You mean it?" he asked.

"I mean it," you said sincerely.

Setting your bags and drink on the nearby bench, you swept him into your arms and twirled him around beneath the streetlight's warm glow.

"I love you," you declared, hands holding his face tightly. Your thumb brushed against the beauty mark above his lip. "And if you ever need reminders of that, you tell me immediately. I will literally drop everything and make sure your doubt disappears completely for as long as I can hold it back."

He gazed into your eyes, his own now slightly misted. Their glossiness reflected warmth and adoration as he took in your face. Seeing the conviction there did something to him. He didn't know what, but he found himself giving in to the urge to just close the distance and kiss you right then and there, open street be damned.

It began to snow. He only realized when he parted from you, the taste of your chapstick still lingering. He looked up, watching the delicate flakes be illuminated by the warm, golden glow. If there was a visualization for the love he felt, it would be that he decided. It all just built and built from all the little things, and filled him with such life it almost hurt.

"We should go home," he whispered, looking back at you.

"Oh yeah, we should. I was going to tell you!" you gasped, running back for your drink and the bag. "They gave me extra cakes and rolls. The last ones of the specialty desserts before their next seasonal delights, so we can share them." you beamed.

"Really? That's quite generous of them."

He wasn't surprised. You were just so damn lovable. He would give you all the baked goods you desired and more, if only for another smile from you directed at him. His fingers intertwined with yours, fondness consuming him as you chatted about the different flavors of the desserts, which ones you were most excited about, and which ones you think he'd like.

He had to agree with your assessments. A dark chocolate and orange mousse did sound quite appealing for him. He already knew he'd let you have the last bite, regardless.

"Oh, and Viktor?"

"Hmm?"

"You can throw away the contact. I don't need it."

I already have you.

[notmorbid]

the god of the woods.

dialogue prompts from the god of the woods by liz moore.

time is a human construct.

are you hungover?

did you go out last night? this is important.

just stay here. don't come out for a while.

when lost, sit down and yell.

there's always a part of you that hopes this time will be different.

you want to talk about it?

did someone say something to you?

those old stories have been around a long time. doesn't mean they're true.

what's your type?

you were supposed to be in charge.

sure. okay. whatever you say.

you ought to mess around a little before you get married.

the woods can be dangerous, but they're also generous.

are you interviewing me?

you're really shy, aren't you?

i bet you've got secrets.

you smell like the woods.

have you been to these mountains before?

i thought being here would help me feel closer to ____.

i hope you're getting what you want from this life.

it's alright not to do everything that's expected from you.

you're smarter than anyone gives you credit for.

i'd be more worried if you were fine.

you can have this, if you want. i'm done with it.

you're not scared, are you?

kissing someone you want to kiss is like living inside the best song you've ever heard.

rich people usually become most enraged when they think they're about to be held accountable for their wrongs.

nothing you do surprises me anymore.

you married or anything? got kids?

you were a nice kid when i knew you.

i'd prefer not to give my name, if that's alright.

the land here is beautiful, but the people are terrible.

i'd recognize your voice anywhere.

why do you look like that?

you're a good soul.

when you hear hoofbeats, don't expect zebras.

i got in trouble. i need help.

what's your name? you know mine.

you're like every other ___ i've ever met.

the party will go on without me.

i hope you die.

want me to kill him?

where do you want to be, ten years from now?

alright, i'll talk. but this is off the record.

will you stay up a little longer? i've still got a full glass.

i know you can feel it, too.

my mother would be so ashamed of me.

here, i brought you groceries.

don't ever lie to me. i'm on your side.

how long have you been smoking?

you're on your own. good luck.

pretend i'm invisible.

don't look at me. i'm invisible. i'm not here.

what did you want to show me?

the truth is, i can't tell you the truth.

don't cry. please. i'm sorry.

why did you do it?

i do bad things sometimes. i have that problem. i think 'what would be the worst thing i could do in this moment?' and then, i do it.

is that why you're here? to get away from _____?

what about your mother? what's she like?

do you have a phone?

relax. it's happy hour.

i want to help you get out of this mess you're in.

if i'd had a parent like you, i might have made something more of myself.

i hate slow songs.

are you any good with kids?

i know what people say about me. maybe they've even said it to you.

my turn. truth or dare?

would you trust someone like me?

you must be very proud.

i know what they're trying to do to you.

why do you care what happens to me?

my instincts are all wrong. they always have been.

you want to mess around a little?

i don't know why, but i have the feeling you're not telling me the whole truth.

put on a shirt. a real shirt.

time moves differently here.

you're always exactly yourself.

you're the only family i have left.

have you ever heard of _____ music?

i saw your name in the paper.

i remember everything you taught me.

do you want me to leave you alone?

[cinnamon-stixs]

It's time for another addition of 'A new episode of something cinna really likes just came out so now they have to rant about it!

(Spoilers for tadc episode 4)

-ragatha trying to teach gangle to pitch auughh

-"You're wasting your time raggy" SHUT UP

-yesss chew his ass out ragatha

-This episode was such a huge w for us abstradgedy shippers

-side tangent, I loooove gangle's voice

-Her signature catchphrase!!

-"The curse of the violent psychopath butcher!" Bro is trying SO hard

-No fr it's so funny that caine only has the human emotion capacity to equate 'mature' to 'scary'.

-THERE WAS A SUGGESTION BOX THIS WHOLE TIME?!

-Not the zooble pinata...

-THIS SCREENSHOT IS KILLING ME LMAOAOAO

-Why are bubble's and caine's tongues connected...

-NOOO KINGER SITS IT OUTTT QnQ we get like no content of him in this episode I'm so sad

-"You can shut up now! :D"

-"Being a shift manager was my job at one point" LORE?!

-As someone looking to go into the culinary service field, love the mention of non-slip shoes

-I'm such a sadist when it comes to Jax. (Also amy come get your man off the floor)

-GET MY WIFE OUT OF THERE?! THOSE ARE FUCKING 3RD DEGREE BURNS!! THAT'S LITERALLY BOILING OIL!!

-This zesty ass man.

-PUNISHMENT?! GANGLE WOAH.

-GANGLE PULL HER OUT!!

-"It's called a manic episode!" So true queen. I love how this episode really pushes the bpd allegory gangle's masks have

-"This is really weird" YA THINK?

-Zooble burning their hand :(

-I love orbsman. I also love that they can just understand him for some reason.

-Jax constantly checking the clock is so me

-"i'm addicted :3"

-High ass ragatha. Oh I love you high ragatha.

-I THOUGHT THIS WASNT A HORROR ADVENTURE

-abstrabbit crumbs yayyyyy!!!

-"Caine's not gonna do anything malicious, it's not in his nature" Just a line I wanna put a pin in.

-GUMMIGOO NOOO. HE DOESN'T REMEMBER HER IM GONNA KMS

-I can't even blame her for being so awkward. Like imagine watching your friend die and then they show up, no memory whatsoever, at your fucking job

-"She's flirting with the gummy guy." this one line is gonna spark so much ragapom and funnygummy art, i just know it.

-I love that ragatha's more honest in calling people out while high. Go off queen.

-"I wish someone would flirt with me.." I WILL!!! I WILL!!!

-The occasional cracking sounds when gangle is annoyed is SUCH GOOD FORESHADOWING

-"... Does this count as a bus?"

-GLOINK QUEEN!!!!!

-She named all her kiddddsss :(

-"well that doesn't really sound like a can-do attitude to me!" "it's not."

-"You're better when you're sad" KILL YOURSELF NOW!!

-Nothing to say here I just like this screenshot

-Gangle wanted to be a comic artist in life, but gave up on the dream.

-WHAT IS GOING ON

-"Huffing paint?! AND NOT WAITING UNTIL A DESIGNATED BREAK?!"

-"I miss my horses" Ragatha probably had horses of her own in life

-"No offense, but you're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask." You're sleeping on the couch tonight Ragatha.

-Someone get her a therapist, and I DON'T mean Caine.

-"Yeah that clock's broken." good job queen

-Why is there ANY information on gloink reproduction. And is that the sex joke goose was talking about?

-"I like.. hate you, but I don't want you to hate me" So real!! ow!!

-The little casual moment between jax and pomni, and all of the characters in this episode, makes me so happy.

-Me core

-Pomni has such a big heart I love her so fucking much.

-"Oh Ragatha.. I love her, but after a while it gets hard to tell how genuine she's actually being" THIS IS SUCH A GOOD LINE!!! I love how it shows how Ragatha is really trying her best, but she's been worn down so much over the years that they can tell her kindness is a mask, sort of like gangle's comedy mask.

-(Also gangle said 'i love her' in reference to ragatha, w for the gangle x ragatha shippers)

-real.

-I love how we get to see zooble's softer side in this episode.

-Gangle's not having a good time: the musical

-Again, pomni is just so sweet :(

-Ok but why does this ending sequence eat so hard

-EXCUSE ME

-I could go into a whole rant abt how this ending could possibly hint to all the cast being dead, and how this ending is a sort of recreation of Gangle's death, but I'm not sure goose would do that. It's a plausible theory after this episode, but i don't think the "They're all dead and living in a digital purgatory" theory fits the themes of the show well.

-Gangle chooses to be honest, even when faced with possible consequences.

-ROYALTEETH CRUMBS!!! I like to imagine Caine and Kinger went on their own little date adventure :3

-C&A logo on Caine's computer

-Family guy death pose and a reference to that one weird bootleg caine costume

-"and now I don't think anybody wants to talk to me anymore" My autistic ass relates to that a little too much

-"I still like talking to you" AHHHHHHHHHH <3

-"I always like seeing what you draw" CRYING

Overall, I thought episode 4 was really good. Probably my least favorite so far, really just because of the slower pacing. I can't wait to see what's next!!

[starlightkyeom]

as wild and untamable as the sea | l.c (teaser)

pairing: greek god!chan x reincarnated sea nymph!f!reader genre: angst, smut | (very minor) reincarnation, fantasy, greek gods!au rating: explicit, minors DNI (for full fic, nothing in this teaser) word count: 850 for the teaser (TBD on full fic, prob 10k+) warnings: none for the teaser (full fic: explicit smut, past unhealthy relationships, plays with greek mythology, etc) post date: november 16th (hopefully)

summary: Chan remembers everything. Every little thing that's happened to him since his days as one of the twelve olympians. Poseidon to be exact. Even though he tries not to think about it now that he's living in modern times running a sad little aquarium, some memories are more vivid than others. Then, you stumble into his life and he can't explain the draw. You can't seem to figure out how this man is keeping an aquarium like this running when it seems like it's not that busy. Something about him really seems to put you off, despite the fact that he seems drawn to you. None of it makes any sense...until you start to remember.

a/n: this is for the 13 Gods of Olympus collab that @beomcoups & @wooahaeproductions have been tirelessly working on. thank you so much for hosting this! it's been fun (even if it's a challenge) to get lost in an entirely different world.

if you want to be tagged when i post, leave a comment or join my taglist here

Another day, another dollar. 

Wasn’t that what the humans said about another day spent working at some mindless job? Despite all the years he’s spent blending into their world, Chan still doesn’t really understand the humans. Doesn’t really understand why they put up with so many things they seemingly hate. Doesn’t really understand why they waste their short lives on something that makes them miserable. But, in fairness to the humans, Chan has also never had to worry about the trivial things that come along with working like money, possessions, or a home. When you’re one of the original gods of Olympus and life is seemingly infinite, money isn’t really an issue. 

That’s who Chan was in another lifetime: Poseidon. The God of the Sea, among other things. At least, until Olympus fell. A painful thought that he usually tries to push from his mind.

In the early days after Olympus fell, Chan still went through life acknowledging who he was. He leveraged his powers for favors or for payment. He used his control of the water and everything in it to get him what he needed. But, the years went by and the Olympians became the stuff of myth. Of stories. The kind of characters that you read about in books. Only the most eccentric members of society continue to worship the Olympians as if they’re real. Which they are, Chan reminds himself. Or, they were. As the faith faded, so did the Olympians’ belief in restoring themselves to full power. One by one, they gave up the task of finding a way back until it was only Chan and Zeus left. Two of the brightest minds of Olympus. Even they had to admit their own defeat. 

Which leads to the present day. Chan has taken on a new persona, for the…well, he’s lost track of what number this one is. He’s just thankful for his ability to shapeshift into someone new whenever he needs to. Takes a new name every time, too. At first, he tried to keep in touch with his siblings and the other Olympians. That, too, fades over time. It’s been at least a century since he’s spoken to any of them. Though, occasionally, he’ll catch wind of something through the chattering of local sea creatures. Something that says at least some of them are still out there.

Chan sighs. There’s really no reason for him to be wandering down memory lane in this way. He thinks, not for the first time, that maybe he needs to pick a different cover job. One that will keep his mind a little more occupied. The reality is, though, he’s tried nearly everything he could think of over the centuries. Changing professions is a frequent occurrence when he doesn’t want to let his body show too many signs of age. Not that he minds, it’s just that people start to ask too many questions about how he’s handling things someone “his age” shouldn’t be able to handle. In the end, working with sea life has always been the best. And this set up, where he’s running a smaller aquarium off of some long forgotten boardwalk in an area that doesn’t get much traffic, is also great. It isn’t even that Chan doesn’t like being around people. He finds humans entertaining in most senses. It’s just that nothing in this life is permanent for him. He’s not going to fall in love and grow old with someone. Best to just keep things at arm’s length. 

Most days are more or less the same and Chan works the majority of them. On the rare days off, he’s not far away since his little house is within walking distance of both the aquarium, the boardwalk it’s on, and the water. He trusts the limited staff that he has because he pays them well. Better than any other similar business, but he values loyalty. And they don’t seem to question how he’s able to make things work. That is largely due to the anonymous donors that make monthly contributions to the aquarium. Really, it’s just Chan funneling money that he’s earned over his many years on Earth so that he can keep a business afloat. Nobody seems to have anything to say. Beyond the staff not asking questions, they are all very good at their jobs. It makes life easier for Chan that way because he doesn’t have to micromanage them. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do and will only ask questions if they hit an actual block. No, the aquarium runs very smoothly. It just doesn’t get a lot of business.

Since every day kind of blends together, Chan almost never realizes as days or weeks or even months pass by. He’s in a sort of autopilot where he also knows what he has to do and just does it without question. It’s just rinse and repeat day in and day out. 

Until it’s not. Until the first day that he notices you in his small, out of the way little aquarium. Until the day that everything starts to change.

[yuri-is-online]

And Your Name Is? (Sebek, Silver, Idia)

Synopsis- After successfully resolving whatever was causing NRC to be trapped in an endless time loop of overblotting and disaster, one last reset should give him a chance to experience a normal school year with you. But instead you find yourself trapped in the here and there, appearing as a vague shadow around the school that vanishes as soon as he catches up to you. The kind thing to do would be to allow you to be forgotten in the chance it lets you return to your world.

But this is Twisted Wonderland where the kind thing is seldom done, and he wants you back as much as you want to find him again.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, thanks to the lovely annon who requested this, they suggested Silver and Sebek in celebration of Book 7 Chapter 5 and I decided to add Idia because I expect he'll be doing something soon-ish. Please look to my masterlist for the other parts if you liked this.

Sebek

This is madness, it has to be. What other explanation could he have for these memories torturing him every time he finds himself alone. Lilia had reassured them they were real, even if Lord Malleus's memory was fuzzy and Silver's as unreliable as ever what he saw, what he felt, were all painfully real. There was a missing student from his first year class, an incompetent irrevocably out of place, magicless human who seemed determined to get into the worst situations possible. He can't decide who he is angrier at, the other students for forgetting you, you for once again getting yourself into a situation someone would need to rescue you from, or himself for... for... for...

He'd asked his mother once, angrily and painfully disrespectfully, why she would marry someone so weak. The perspective of time, looped or otherwise, made him realize he was really blaming her for the way his grandfather saw him. As if he could have somehow earned his total respect and love if he erased everything about his father from his being, as if the answer his mother ultimately gave him was a sin somehow.

"Because my love is not weak, true love never is. You can let it change you for the better, or you can let it make you worse. When you see the person you love you will know what they'll do, your soul becomes theirs in a way. Your strengths and weaknesses become shared."

Sebek thinks he must be letting love make him worse. He isn't loud when he approaches your silhouette, he makes no announcement, no demand you be grateful he is paying you attention despite your humanity. He just sits under the apple tree, and quietly into the the empty night air reads a novel. There's a vague memory he has of a much louder conversation you had here about the exact same book. The knight saves his love at the cost of his own life, and he had gone on at much louder length about how noble that was.

You though, you had hated it. "What's the point of living if the person you want to share your life with had to die for it?"

"Do you remember?" His voice is still woefully in line with a normal volume, and you are still just out of reach. "That is what you said, and I am sure I said something very stupid about knightly honor. I probably told you that a mere human would never understand, but whatever I might have meant you were right in the end. It's an empty world when your life is paid for with the life of someone you love." You flicker as if to disappear, but Sebek is faster, snapping up from his seat to grasp you in a death roll and tumbling down to the grass. Yes, love is absolutely making him worse, how else is he supposed to explain to anyone the sheer joy he feels to find you, heavy and warm in the flesh successfully pinned under him and trembling. He can atone for his improprieties later, the sheer worry you inflicted demands immediate penance. There is no running from your fate, not that the arms that encircle his shoulders and pull him further down seem at risk of fleeing anywhere. Sebek's eyes close in relief, allowing himself finally to release his weakness into the strength of your embrace.

Silver

He used to dream what it would be like to live without his curse. Granted Silver didn't have much of an imagination, most of those thoughts consisted of him doing simple things like training with his father or cooking without fear of hurting himself, not that those were bad things to want. Now though, he almost missed his lapses into sleep. He was certain, based off of what little Malleus and Lilia had been able to tell him about the here and there, that he could find you in his dreams. When he went to bed at night he knew he slept, knew he dreamed, but for some reason he just couldn't find you. There were traces, locations he remembers from past timelines, places he's sure must be a twisted echo from your world, all showing traces he could follow but never once showing him you.

It was enough to make him cry, he swears he's cried more in the past month than he has in how ever many years he's been alive. He knows it's scaring his father, he thinks it's scaring Sebek. Malleus is still under the impression there is a way to save you so he has yet to give into fear, but if the way he dismisses Silver, teasingly telling him to get some rest, is any reassurance he's worried about him too.

"I really hope you aren't missing because you think we don't care." He seldom speaks aloud to you outside of dreams, Silver isn't sure if you can hear him when he does. But there's a painful strength to his desire tonight, maybe fueled by the silhouette he saw flickering just beyond the Ramshackle Gate earlier in the evening. He knows Malleus told him to rest, but he finds himself walking back there "just in case" before he returns to his dorm. It's quiet here, inviting himself to close his eyes and begin tracing the steps he saw earlier. You were dancing, he tried to reach for your hand to give you the partner the waltz so clearly demanded but only found air. They're still only holding air when when he pauses, eyes blurring as he tries to examine a still tingling palm, confused to find tears pooling in its center as words continue to flow. "That's not to say if you do I don't understand. If I was in your place, I would feel lonely too. It has to be painful, feeling so alone when you are surrounded by so many people..." His eyes close. A gentle breeze picks up the autumn leaves and tickle his nose with a familiar scent as he chokes out an earnest plea: "Is it too much to ask for you to be lonely in my hands? I promise I'll hold on so tight you never float away again." A comforting weight settles itself onto his hand, his fingers thread through theirs and his other arm pulls them into his embrace through sheer muscle memory before his eyes even open.

"Why are you crying?" A voice he's been chasing after for hundreds of years now, cracked from a months worth of silence asks him so earnestly and sweetly the only response he can find is laughter.

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter!" His arm finds it's way under your legs to sweep you up into a protective cradle as he spins you around and around to reassure himself that this is not a dream, no matter the familiar gleam shining up at him from your eyes.

Idia

This is so not worth it. Idia is not built for this, this, this cliche bullshit plot line. He will not own up to his past self's decisions, he will stay resolute in nihilistic pride and continue to refer to himself as a looser NEET who has never gotten any in his entire life. And technically, as he has argued to Ortho for the past five hours now, that is still true.

"New timeline new me, I am not in love with a student who doesn't technically exist that was my much cooler alter ego." He says that, but Ortho knows that's not a video game's code he has pulled up on his monitor. And despite checking the school's security cams being his thing, his older brother has several open on his other monitor. They've been changing through this entire argument, clearly monitoring wherever you appear and logging it as data in a massive spreadsheet Ortho has maybe taken one or two looks at when he managed to convince Idia to take a nap.

"Um big brother, not to be rude-" Ortho really wants to be. Idia isn't the only one who loves you, just the only one insistent on denying his feelings. "but isn't it sort of... childish to deny yourself at this point? The prefect-"

"They can't be a prefect if they aren't in school." Idia snaps.

"Just Yuu then." Ortho chooses to take the weird cackle Idia lets out as a sign he is making progress with his code and not a sign of a mental break. Yet. "They never showed interest in anyone else, they always picked you. That's got to be enough data to prove that when you save them," because there really is no point in pretending Idia is trying to do anything else at this point, even he gave up denying that just fifteen minutes into this conversation "they won't abandon you for anyone else."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Idia doesn't think he meant to say that, the words sort of just fall out of his mind onto his lap. He risks a look at the security footage, your ghost seldom comes into Ignihyde. That had bothered him at first, angered him even. What, you'll tell him you love him, steal his first kiss every time you can, and watch all his favorite shows just to get him to talk to you more but then when you're trapped in a liminal space you won't bother knocking on his door? Did all those things you said you would do only apply to the good times?

Not that it changed what he was going to do, part of him saw saving you as a challenge but mostly it was just out of gratitude for saving Ortho. That would have earned you his help even without the whole "lovers doomed by the narrative" thing you had going on. But recently, the more he worked on saving you really, he had started to wonder if his self doubt was what was pushing you away. Idia hated how much magic could rely on something as unpredictable and unreliable as human emotion, but it did. And whatever was happening to you was absolutely magical, he had the data to prove it. Reluctantly, ignoring Ortho's protests despite the guilt that gnaws at him he leaves his room. The harsh nighttime light of Ignihyde's LED displays bounce off his skin as he shuffles himself through the empty dormitory, no real destination in mind. He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud in front of Ortho, he couldn't bring himself to say it in front of you either, if his spotty memory is serving him correctly. He finds himself stood in front of a vending machine in one of the school's hallways, two distorted shadows flickering with equal uncertainty in the glass.

"Hungry?" Idia doesn't know why he asks, but he knows why he puts enough money into the machine for two bags of chips. "I keep forgetting I'm just getting shit for myself now." You don't respond, but Idia isn't too surprised or upset. It has to be weird hearing him address you directly after he's spent so much time ignoring you. "Just because Ignihyde's meant to respect the King of the Underworld doesn't mean you'll get snatched away if you pay me a visit. You shouldn't be afraid of him, he isn't dangerous to you." But I am. He doesn't say that, but the words hang heavy in the air anyway. Your shadow tries to reach for the vending machine, but pause almost confused when Idia beats you to punch in the familiar number of your favorite drink.

I love you. He doesn't say it out loud, but the thunk of the can makes the point just the same Idia realizes when he brings the can up to a very confused, very familiar looking face. You are confused, and a bit scared when he drops the drink to tackle you but you hold onto him anyway.

I love you too. You don't say it either but the steady, comforting beat of your heart screams it just the same. I will find you in ever lifetime.

[kriscommitscrimes]

IN-DEPTH CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF KRIS(MAS) DREEMURR

Hello! I've wanted to make this post for a WHILE now, since Kris is my favourite character ever, and I LOVE analyzing characters!!

Anyway before I start just remember that people consume media differently, and this is just what I've personally picked up on. You may interpret certain points I make differently to me, and that's ok! I'm just sharing MY analysis of Kris, at the end of the day, they're a character who has never spoken any dialogue that's visible to us, so their intentions behind certain things could be interpreted differently depending on who's consuming the media.

Kris will be EXCLUSIVELY referred to by they/them (they/them/themself specifically) pronouns throughout this post. If you refer to them as anything other than they/them while interacting with this post I'm gonna block you on the spot sorry.

ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S LONG!!! TW there's probably some swearing I can't remember

By the way, I'm not including any screenshots because I. forgot to take them last time I played through Deltarune, but the next time that I do, I'm going to make like a revamped version of this post with screenshots. Sorry about that!!

Kris is their own, separate character from the player. This is a no-brainer if you've actually played through Deltarune and paid the slightest bit of attention to it. Kris is their own, separate character with a VERY distinct, interesting personality, who had a life before the events of Deltarune, and even still has control over some things that they say and do while in our control.

Kris isn't actually a quiet person. Kris, in reality, is an overdramatic, sassy, talkative person who often draws attention to themself by scaring people (especially Noelle), and causing scenes. They CONSTANTLY play mean spirited pranks on Noelle or pressure her into things (I'm NOT talking about Snowgrave, I'll get to thar later), like shaking the ferris wheel carriage despite Noelle being scared of heights, and telling her that ICE-E is real and eats kids. They still do this during the events for Deltarune, like if you go against Noelle's wishes and pet the cheese, Kris strokes it like a cat, and if you give Noelle a healing item called a Choco Diamond, she says something along the lines of 'Umm, it's ok, Kris, I'll share', and both of them get healed. We don't choose for Kris to force Noelle to share, that's a decision they make. As for drawing attention to themself, the first thing that comes to mind is they falling to the ground and sulking when they're too short and weak to play Queen's arcade machine, or them barking at Noelle when she offers them a dog treat. They're loud and impulsive, shown when they eat the pie at the end of chapter one, repeatedly kicking the robot in the basement when nothing happens originally before the Sneo fight, eating all of the chocolate Undyne gives them to give to Alphys if you interact with the box, and screaming that they're normal if you call Toriel after watching her conversation with Alphys at the start of chapter two. Speaking of which...

Kris seems to have identity issues. This is one of the things here that everyone in the fandom is kind of already aware of, but this is a full character analysis, so it's still important to mention. Kris is the only human in Hometown, but desperately wants to be perceived as normal. They scream it at Toriel like I mentioned earlier, they wore a headband with red horns on it when they were little to look more like a boss monster, and they seem actively disgusting or even frightened by other humans. They also seem to be living in their brother's shadow a bit, which may be why they like drawing attention to themself. Everything I've said about their personality seems to be a little on the negative side so far, but everyone in Hometown knows their name, and seems to quite like them, so why is this? Well...

Kris is charming, well-spoken, and funny. They're a prankster known for pulling mean-spirited pranks on people, but even still characters like Noelle look back at those things fondly, and everyone in Hometown seems to like spending time with Kris. Kris' flirting abilities are pretty obvious, and are used to win over loads of Darkners, not to mention their ability to formulate a compelling speech on the spot, as shown during the first Queen battle when toasting to her. They easily win people over, especially if they like a person, I mean, they became best friends with their former bully in a DAY! A DAY!!! People seem to find them just genuinely fun to hang around, probably due to them just being a funny, charming, somewhat balls of the walls kinda person.

Kris is NOT evil or malicious. This is one of the most important points I've wanted to make on this post. I've seen the theory that Kris is evil because they don't actively do anything to prevent Snowgrave from happening tossed around and I'm here to say that that is actually fucking stupid sorry. Normally I HATE being mean about people's theories because, like I said, everyone consumes media differently, but that one is just genuinely terrible. I'd say it's WAY more likely that as Noelle gets strong, out control over Kris becomes stronger. Normally, when we choose an option to make Kris say or do something, they ELABORATE on that, which is confirmed by how characters interact with them. We just can't see them speaking to give the illusion that they're a blank slate, under our full control. But, during Snowgrave, they just say EXACTLY what you tell them to say. If you tell them to say 'We're something else', they just say 'We're something else'. If you tell them to say 'Proceed', they just say 'Proceed'. Sure, you could put this towards them not caring, but after Berdly is frozen and you reunite with Ralsei and Susie, both of them say that Kris looks HURT. And later on, they REFUSE to go and see Noelle in her room. The refuse to THINK about it. They're not happy with what happened. They didn't want to go around freezing people. But the one thing that Really stood out to me, was during the Snowgrave Spamton Neo fight. Near the end, you have the option to call Ralsei and Susie for help, which prompts the flavour text; 'Kris called for Susie and Ralsei... But nobody came'. After that, you have to call Noelle for help to finish the battle, which prompts the dialogue; 'You called for Noelle'. Spamton states that Kris could barely whisper her name. They're trying to stop you from calling for her. Those aren't their words. I think that kind of confirms that they didn't want Snowgrave to happen. Kris is just a funny teenager with identity issues, they're not evil. Sorry evil Kris fans.

Kris probably isn't the Roaring Knight. They're A knight, but not THE knight. So far, they don't REALLY have any motivation for opening the first two fountains that I'm aware of, and I doubt they knew they could open a fountain until Queen's speech at the end of Chapter 2. At the end of Chapter 2, however, they do seem to have a motivation to open a fountain. They (presumably) slash Toriel's tyres to stop her from leaving the house to go and get flour. They want her to see the Dark World. And if you choose the option to talk to Undyne about the Dark World, Kris explains it to her in FULL DETAIL, but she brushes it off as a joke. Toriel finding her tyres slashed leads her to call the guards, and Kris leaves the door of the house wide open. They want Undyne to see the Dark World, I don't know WHY, but they do for some reason. But I REALLY doubt they're the Roaring Knight, they just don't have the motivation, and if it is them, it would be really weird for Toby to reveal that so early. I really doubt that kid wants to bring on the end of the world.

That's all I have for now!! Expect a more fleshed out version of this next time I play Deltarune with screenshots and such, though I may wait until chapter 3 and 4 come out! Thanks for reading!

[alfafilly]

It's 2025, new husband just dropped!

I've liked Darkrai for years, it's one of my top 5 fav Pokemon, but I recently got hyper-fixated and well... you know how it goes. :>

Name: Dyo (pronounced like Dio) Nicknames: Dio, Daddy Gender: Male (he/him) Age: Thousands of Years Height: 9 feet Weight: 115 lbs Type: Dark Moveset: Dark Void, Hypnosis, Dark Pulse, Dream Eater

Personality: -Sarcastic; sometimes you can't tell if his reactions are genuine -Sassy; will snap back with an attitude -Domineering/Controlling; doesn't like to be bossed around in the slightest -Lonely and craves attention; has an extroverted nature and wants to be around people -Egotistical; not to a narcissistic level, but he does think highly of himself

Bio: Dyo has been around for so long not even he remembers when he came into existence. Much of his life was spent protecting and guarding an ancient forest in Sinnoh/Hisui. As time went on, he could no longer stop the encroaching humans from destroying it to build their towns and cities. Eventually he grew tired of the routine and felt it an empty cause, so he abandoned it for new ventures. In a very "If you can't beat them, join them" situation, he began to take on behaviors and elements of human culture. He especially grew fond of humans and their silly little parties. He sometimes regrets the decision to abandon the forest, but at the same time feels he has lived a more enriching life now than the thousands he spent there. Sooo you win some, you lose some. He still harbors resentment to humanity as a whole for being so destructive.

Likes: -Battling; if he thinks he will lose he won't initiate or will run away though -Cold weather -Raves and parties (party boy ayyy) -Cuddling (ssh don't tell anyone)

Dislikes: -Sunlight; by nature/instinct more than anything else -His friend Cady -His scars, especially his chipped collar (he's self-conscious about it) -Humans + the fear of being captured (masterballs are his own personal nightmare)

Other: -He can speak telepathically to humans and other pokemon (He has a deep, raspy voice) -His mouth has no real function except when extremely exhausted or out-of-it he might be seen panting through it. Otherwise he just reveals it when being creepy or weird. -His legs are out 99% of the time and he will only retract them in an emergency, like if he needs to get away and they would be a hindrance. -He can phase through hard objects like a ghost, or disappear into shadows. He cannot, however, phase through flesh (aka people/most pokemon). -He's not evil, but he can be a little psychotic at times, such as enjoying inflicting pain on people or seeing people get hurt by their own foolishness. -He identifies as asexual and aromantic.

Theme Songs: Boss Bitch - Doja Cat Ur Not Hot - CallMeSpice Queen - Todrick Hall Moon Creep - Brent Walsh Talk talk - Charli xcx / Troye Sivan

[goodnightmemes]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (1994) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ So you want me to tell you the story of my life. ❜

❛ What were you going to do? Kill me, drink my blood? ❜

❛ I'm flesh and blood, but not human. I haven't been human for 200 years. ❜

❛ I couldn't bear the pain of their loss. I longed to be released from it. ❜

❛ You lack the courage of your convictions. Do it! ❜

❛ Don't be afraid. I'm going to give you the choice l never had. ❜

❛ Your body's dying. Pay no attention. It happens to us all. ❜

❛ No words can describe it. Might as well ask Heaven what it sees. No human can know. ❜

❛ You'll get used to killing. Just forget about that mortal coil. You'll become accustomed to it, all too quickly. ❜

❛ There's nothing in the world now that doesn't hold some...Fascination. ❜

❛ The dark gift is different for each of us. But one thing is true of everyone. We grow stronger as we go along. ❜

❛ That's more like it! Anger! Fury! ❜

❛ Remember: Life without me would be even more unbearable. ❜

❛ You must know something about the meaning of it all. ❜

❛ They know about us. They watch us dine on empty plates and drink from empty glasses. ❜

❛ Forgive me if I have a lingering respect for life. ❜

❛ Perfect! Just burn the place! Burn everything we own! Have us living in a field, like cattle! ❜

❛ What if there is no Hell? Or they don't want us there? Ever think of that? ❜

❛ You're in love with your mortal nature. You resist what can bring you peace. ❜

❛ We're predators, whose all-seeing eyes give them detachment! ❜

❛ It's your coffin, enjoy it. Most of us never get to know what it feels like. ❜

❛ Kill them swiftly if you will, but do it! For do not doubt you are a killer! ❜

❛ My philosopher. My martyr. "Never take a human life.” ❜

❛ Pain is terrible for you. You feel it like no other creature, because you're a vampire. ❜

❛ Evil is a point of view. God kills indiscriminately, and so shall we. ❜

❛ A little child, she was. But also a fierce killer, now capable of the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child's demanding. ❜

❛ Remember, never in our home! ❜

❛ Time can pass quickly for mortals when they're happy. With us, it was the same. The years flew by like minutes. ❜

❛ More melancholy nonsense. You grow more like [name] daily! ❜

❛ Do you want me to be a doll forever? ❜

❛ Can't I change like everyone else? ❜

❛ Be glad I made you what you are. You'd be dead now if I hadn't. ❜

❛ You will never grow old. And you will never die. ❜

❛ I thought of all the things I'd done and couldn't undo. And I longed for one second's peace. ❜

❛ He will never let us go. ❜

❛ What is it now? You irritate me. Your very presence irritates me! ❜

❛ Is that supposed to frighten me? ❜

❛ I came to make peace with you. Even though you're the father of lies. I want things to be as they were. ❜

❛ Why do you say such things? ❜

❛ I promise I'll get rid of the bodies. ❜

❛ We forgive each other then? ❜

❛ Good night, sweet prince. May flights of devils wing you to your rest. ❜

❛ Should we burn him? Bury him? What would he have liked? ❜

❛ You've been a very, very naughty little girl. ❜

❛ We deserve your vengeance. ❜

❛ For what could the damned really have to say to the damned? ❜

❛ There are no vampires in Transylvania? No Count Dracula? ❜

❛ I've searched the world for an immortal and this is what I find! ❜

❛ No one will harm you. I won't allow it. ❜

❛ Vampires who pretend to be humans pretending to be vampires. How avant-garde. ❜

❛ Do you know what it means to be loved by Death? ❜

❛ You die when you kill. You feel you deserve to die and you stint on nothing. ❜

❛ But perhaps...this is the only real evil left. ❜

❛ I know nothing of God. Or the Devil. I have never seen a vision, nor learned a secret that would damn or save my soul. ❜

❛ You fear too much. So much you make me fear. ❜

❛ There is but one crime among us vampires here. It is the crime that means death to any vampire: To kill your own kind. ❜

❛ Danger holds you to me. ❜

❛ Love holds you to me. ❜

❛ You would leave me for [name] if he beckoned you. ❜

❛ Is that what I should do? Let you go? ❜

❛ If you want to save her, send her away! ❜

❛ The world changes. We do not. Therein lies the irony that finally kills us. ❜

❛ I need you to make contact with this age. ❜

❛ A vampire with a human soul. An immortal with a mortal's passion. ❜

❛ You are beautiful, my friend. [name] must have wept when he made you. ❜

❛ I knew him. Knew him well enough not to mourn his passing. ❜

❛ Your evil is that you cannot be evil! And I shall suffer for it no longer! ❜

❛ I haven't tears enough for what you've done to me! ❜

❛ Oh, God! I love you still! That's the torment of it! ❜

❛ Who'll care for me, my love, my dark angel, when you are gone? ❜

❛ Bear me no ill will, my love. We are now even. ❜

❛ What has died is the last breath in me that was human. ❜

❛ Your only company will be your screams. ❜

❛ Maybe it was to quench those tears forever that I took such revenge. ❜

❛ You can teach me this? To be without regret? ❜

❛ What if all I have is my suffering? My regret? ❜

❛ I know you regret nothing. You feel nothing. If that's all I have left to learn, I can do that on my own. ❜

❛ You've come home to me then? ❜

❛ I'm a spirit of preternatural flesh. Detached. Unchangeable. Empty. ❜

❛ That's it? No, it can't end like that. ❜

❛ What I wouldn't give to be like you, to have your power, to have seen the things you have seen. ❜

❛ You want a companion. You want a link to the outside world. That's me. Take me.❜

❛ Do you like this? Do you like being food for the immortals? Do you like dying? ❜

❛ I assume I need no introduction. ❜

❛ Still whining. Heard enough? I've had to listen to that for centuries. ❜

[writingsfromstarfleet]

[Spock] The Other Kirk

♫ - Spring Day - BTS

A/N: Hello! I think I've written something similar before, honestly I don't remember, but if anyone is still reading these or is still here, enjoy! Hugs! x

for @lovinghufflepuffgirl <3

fem! pronouns (she/her) :)

Growing up, Iowa was life in the fast lane, and things were always constantly moving. The Kirk's were a well-known family, whether it was for your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, and his work in Starfleet, or it was your brother, Jim Kirk, and his truanting and general misbehaviour. America was entirely different to space, and you quickly found that out on your first assignment in Starfleet. 

Life on the Enterprise was definitely different to normal life. There were people of different races, species, genders; you name it, it was here. All beings from outer space worked together towards one common goal and it was a close community aboard the ship. You yourself, were human. From Riverside, Iowa on Earth, you were the sister of the Captain, and that didn't really make life too simple. 

Despite the difference, your brother stuck up for you no matter what, whether it was earth or the academy, it didn't matter. You were his pride and joy, and he would protect you with his life. 

By nature, your brother Jim was loud, obnoxious and confident. There never really was anything he wouldn't do, the man had confidence built from steel. You guessed that's what came from being the Captain. You were the polar opposite of him. Quiet as a whole, you kept your books and studies to yourself, always picking a small, closed off corner of the mess hall to sit in. Most people talked to you in relation to your brother, never really anything else. But, you weren't too offended. 

There was always someone a little different, though; Spock.

Your brothers first officer, Spock was always by his side, or on the bridge as acting captain. But, on the semi-rare occasion he wasn't, Spock tended to join you in the corner without much being said between you. In a way, you quite enjoyed it. It was a mutual understanding; you knew he didn't always favour talking, and so a simple smile and a nod of acknowledgement before you both delved back to your datapads and meals, was enough.

This pattern developed over time, and you found yourself sat with him more and more. Conversations started to naturally come between you, and before long, you were learning more and more about him, as he was you. One day, was different, it was still the same old routine, but the conversation was different.

"Good evening, Y/N," Spock started, placing his pad and drink down on the table. "How are you doing?"

"Hi Spock, I'm doing well, thank you, I'm a little stressed out over this, but other than that, it's good." Spock saw your face, brows furrowed but still trying to maintain your usual polite smile. "How are you?"

"I am well, thank you. Perhaps I can help you with that." 

Spock spun his pad round and sat down next to you for the first time. Usually, he was less personal and more formal, tending to always sit across from you. But this time, Spock chose the seat next to you instead. You suddenly felt nervous, though you had no real reason to be. Spock took your pad from you, fingers brushing delicately across your own for a second. Though it was only that second, the feeling lingered for a while. Spock stared at you for a moment, and quickly diverted his eyes down. If you hadn't known any better, you'd say his cheeks went a little red. 

"What is it you need help with?" he asked, voice low.

"I just don't understand any of it, I'm trying my best but I can't make sense of what feels like a thousand pages of writing." 

Spock sat with you for nearly two hours, explaining and writing and helping you where he could. It felt like he had been there all night, and as he spoke and talked you through everything paragraph by paragraph, eventually, it started to sink in and you began to understand. Even being Vulcan, Spock could not hide the pride on his face and a small smile after you explained the study back to him. 

"Well done, Y/N, I am impressed." His voice was different, and it sounded happy. His tone and smile told you that.

"You're smiling, you must be proud," you laughed out, and quickly got nervous again. "I, uh, didn't mean it like that if I offended you or-"

"Do not worry, I am proud. You have managed to learn something you did not know. That is an achievement and you should be proud too."

"I couldn't have done it without you, thank you," you replied, not really too sure where to look. You became sheepish, something you had not been much around Spock for quite some time. Whether it was the closeness, or the care from him, you weren't sure. 

"It has been an enjoyable two hours, I would like to do this again sometime," Spock seemed a little cautious, taking a breath before continuing. "Perhaps, without the studying."

He took you aback a little, before it fully clicked he was asking you on a date. 

"I would quite like that, Spock."

The day came to a close as he walked you back to your room before bidding you a goodnight. 

The morning came and you were up bright and early for your shift. As you finished getting dressed and tied your hair up, your comms system rang out.

"Lieutenant Y/N to the Captain's ready room."

With confusion and slight concern, you made your way to Jim's room with haste, not wanting to upset him in case he was in a bad mood or you had done something wrong. Reaching the room, you didn't even have to knock before the door swung open. You stepped inside, and  your brother sat with a face like thunder. 

"Captain? Or Jim today?" you asked, in the same joking manner as usual. 

"Spock?" he replied. 

"Weird choice of name, but who am I to judge?" you replied, shrugging. 

"Not funny."

"Never claimed to be, you've always been the clown. What's up with you?"

Jim raised an eyebrow, very clearly unimpressed.

"When were you going to tell me you were dating my first officer?"

You couldn't help but laugh. "What? I'm not dating Spock, relax. We just eat together and we're going on a date later this week, but I would love to know who told you that, because they found out before I did and that's one hell of a talent."

"Y/N, seriously. Have you thought about this?" You furrowed your brow, nodding him to elaborate. "This is Spock, he's a Vulcan, which means emotions are not his specialist subject."

"You'd be surprised, Jim. Why do you care so much anyway? He's your XO, you trust him don't you? He wouldn't hurt me, if that's what you're worried about. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't try this out and I won't go this weekend."

Jim stared at you, trying to summon any semblance of an answer for that, but realised he didn't actually have a legitimate reason to stop you. He did trust Spock, and he would trust Spock to keep you safe like he does, and to care for you. There was nothing really he could do to stop this, nor was there any reason he could see.

Sighing, he shook his head. "You're right. I just worry for you, you know? You're all I got, and-"

You cut him off with a hug. His grip tightened and you buried yourself into his shoulder. Pulling back, you smiled at him. 

"Don't worry, I love you too. I won't get myself killed, but if I do, he's all yours."

Jim laughed, and you joined in, grabbing your drink and heading towards the door. 

"Plus, it was Spock or Bones, so take your pick where you want."

"Y/N!"

With that, you closed the door over a little, laughing to yourself. From around the corner, you saw Spock, who raised his brow.

"Spock and Bones? What about us?"

You shrugged. "Nothing important, but if you go in there I'm sure you'll find out."

Spock cocked his head in curiosity, and you smiled.

"You look adorable like that, by the way." You leaned in and kissed his cheek, and swore you saw that blush red on his cheeks. "See you later."

As you walked away, Spock stood for a second, and touched his cheek where you left that kiss, and very faintly from behind the door came a voice that snapped him out of it.

"What the hell!"

[kujakumai]

would you like to elaborate on the "catastrophic mommy issues"? I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on that lol

Thief King is a child raised by a mass of vengeful tortured souls in the ruined basement where they all died, all of whom are in effect a stand-in for family/community/parents. They are all TKB has left, and they are highly protective of him; they seem not entirely within their right minds, not capable of competent childcare, and they give him explicit instructions on how to destroy and take over the world, which he follows enthusiastically.

I think about this a lot, like a lot a lot, and while we don't see much I think its gotta be a very tangled dynamic. When writing him I tend to use "mom issues" or general references to his mom as an emotional stand in because I think she's probably the most likely person he'd remember clearly when he needs a real face, but that's not necessary. All of Kul Elna is Mom for these purposes.

There is a lot going on here, for example:

>Kul Elna does not seem to leave the temple unless accompanied, or at very least they prefer to stay there. This means TKB probably spent a significant portion of his childhood in the same ruins and possibly the same room where he watched everyone die. Cool! Great!

>Kul Elna appears to be only partially corporeal, limited in their ability to do much besides menace, and TKB says they are "in hell" (unclear what that means). I do not think they are up to the daily tasks of feeding, bathing, or taking care of a small child. I think he probably grew up as an urchin mainly in squalor.

The closest real-life analogue to this is, probably, simply a child in the care of someone who is ill or disabled such that they cannot effectively take care of even themselves without support; so you have a situation where no one has done anything wrong, and this family loves each other very much, and the only real culprit is the society that failed them. But you're still going to end up with a kid who is not getting their needs met, is in a situation that is often stressful and sometimes scary, and that will lead to a rapid Adultification where the kid takes on the role of steward without ever having a proper childhood.

>The Zork-raising instructions were given to TKB by Kul Elna. He tells us this. I am less concerned by Kul Elna's obviously Zork-influenced plan to destroy everything than I am its effect on a 16 year old boy who loves them very much because they're all he has left in the entire world. When did they bring this up? Is it recent? Has it been an ongoing plan for years--has TKB effectively been raised on the idea that he is to be Egypt's own destined apocalypse maiden? How fucked up would that be?

Fandom is hesitant, I think, to ascribe anything malicious to Kul Elna or suggest that their relationship with TKB is sinister--which, for the record, I don't think it is, I think this fucked-up little family has nothing but love for this kid in the depths of whatever humanity they have left--because Kul Elna gets such an unjust treatment in canon it makes us incandescent. Yet the same would apply to TKB--if they want the world in ruins and him at the top, how could he even think anything different? After everything the pharaoh did to them, and to you, of the life they deprived you of? Impossible to suggest something different. You can't tell him they're wrong. What's that old softer world bit; I am a pacifist, and I will be a pacifist until I die, or someone threatens my mother.

>TKB does not need survivors guilt to be an unfailingly loyal Mama's Boy to his ghost family (Ghost's Boy?) but he's got to have it. A simultaneous immense guilt for getting out when no one else did; the immense loss of being left behind, like they all went to become this without him; the weight of being the only one left, the only one who can take revenge not only for you but for them, and if you fail then no one will remember any of their names, or yours. One chance. Avenge them or die a nobody. Don't fuck this up. It's your responsibility, like it or not, because no one else can help, and no one else can help because of what your enemies did to them, which is why you need to do it. It's almost self-justifying.

If you want me to editorialize, I don't think he actually cares much about ruling the world, nor does that goal make sense. I think in the back of his little brain he thinks that if he wins he finally gets to join them somehow.

tldr; I think TKB's relationship with whatever the hell Kul Elna has going on is way, way more complicated and nuanced than even he is consciously aware of and you can love someone very much and still fuck them up immensely (arguably a major them of ygo itself). TKB's has such catastrophic mommy issues he literally tries to end the world. We are talking literal apocalyptic mom issues. Cataclysmic.

[criminal-sen]

Hello!! Going back to that post about being ok with people asking you about your fic... can I? 🙏 I'm gonna 🫣

So when I first found Imperfect, I hadn't watched Bleach in... dunno... 10-15 years?? Gawd don't wanna think about it. So, I'd forgotten a lot of stuff, and I hadn't finished the last 3-4 seasons. So I thought a lot of stuff you wrote about was canon, and when I rewatched it all for the upcoming 3rd part of tybw, I was like... so when are you guys gonna mention this??

But anyway, focusing on the actual question, how did you come up with all the little details about Mayuri? Like the way he talks to AJ in their own internal world, the microdosing of Super Human drug in daily life and they way it feels, the ability to smell pheromones... it makes the story, which is already awesome, much more realistic to me. It's almost like he wrote it himself, it's so, so enjoyable. Love it sm, you already know 😊

Anyway, no pressure to answer, just been thinking about it for a while and thought I'd chance it!

Aw that's so cool u mistook my stuff for canon, I feel like it's Highest Honor for ff to be believable enough to trick someone>:3c Tho I'm sure it was kinda frustrating too, sorry for that haha (and I've also been fooled so I very much understand the feeling)

Future Sen here: when I say I'm long-winded, this is what I'm talking about. This is like.. the textbook definition of Verbose. So under a cut it goes, have fun with soooooo many words:D

Hmm so the microdosing Superhuman Drug just popped into my head right before I wrote it in (chapter... 5? I think? Where he's sitting in the hotel after a flashback), I think I was having a bit of a conundrum on how he could sit there and have such a long and detailed flashback in such a short time? And before I could do the obvious fix of having more time pass, as literally nothing was at stake time-wise, I remembered the Superhuman Drug exists. And the more I thought about it, the more sense it made for him to use it, to the point where I choose believe it's canon unless proven otherwise XD Like you can't tell me someone whose whole thing is Thinking wouldn't jump at the opportunity to do more of it in less time. As for the way it feels, hmmm idk, I just thought real hard and made it up. All we know from canon is what he explained to Szayel, and what Szayel experienced, which is just. Brain thinks faster, making time feel as though it's passing slower. And od'ing on it is Real Bad💀

Hheeeehooo What Next>:3 (btw im having a blast rn, ty for giving me a free pass to be sooooo long winded about this very niche thing XD) Right, Jizo communication here we go>:33333 So him talking to Jizo was based on what I read in a wiki about the Zanpakuto... rebellion arc? I think it's called (could definitely be wrong)? Where everyone's zanpakuto spirit is running amok? I just remember reading he didn't speak. And though I have mixed feels about the design (hence he is Moth in my fic XD), him not speaking really made sense to me. He just seems like such a fucked up little guy🤔 Like.. okay so I've mentioned this briefly in a chapter preface but want to elaborate... so I strongly believe he consents to being modified, cuz even Mayuri would probably have a hard time wielding a zanpakuto that fucking hates him. Which means he's loyal (arguably to a fault) and trusts Mayuri to do very fucked up and painful things to him. Which, to be fair, Mayuri does equally painful and fucked up things to his own body.. and that makes me wonder if Jizo isnt merely consenting but is of the same mind about this fuckery? Like idk if I can even say this in a way that makes sense🤦‍♂️ but I like to think they share this no-holds-barred, nothing-is-sacred delight for experimenting on themselves. Like Jizo is also a mad scientist in all but name>:3 (I decided on this version bc it Fucks Severly imho, but also bc it's FAR less depressing than the overly-trusting, Stockholm syndrome one, like i cannot deal with writing something that sad tbfh) Anyway, regardless of which version, he is an intensely weird Creachure. And I just can't fathom him saying fucking.. anything... that would even remotely make sense to anyone but Mayuri??? And the telepathy thing just fits Mayuri's whole.. fast thinking, Big Brain vibe. If a zanpakuto were to impart information to him through words, I can see him tapping his foot like GET TO THE POINT>:(

Lastly, the pheromone thing.. haha well this one's pretty short (future Sen here, i am a liar! It is not short😬) - I borrowed it from another ff. It's that one I mentioned at the end of.. who knows which chapter... Quantum Mechanics by Illegitimi (no link, sorry, might put one after i post)... which was Mayuri/Isane, and which I loved So Much back in the day, despite hetero romance being kind of a fuckin.. icky vibe for me in regards to Mayuri. No problem with it fyi, just usually wouldn't choose to read about it. Ugh I'm talking too much about it already but I have changed a LOT since.. 2016? Give or take? And I don't think I could stand it nowadays for a whole bunch of reasons. But. BUT. It was very well written and had some very cool hcs for him that I've clung onto. The pheromone one just fits him - if he could sharpen his ability to sense something, ofc he'd do it - plus it's very fun for romance and smut reasons, which is undoubtedly why the author thought of it. They also had that scar across his nose, though iirc it was kinda squiggly and not the upside down V that I made up. In my defense though, there's a lot I didn't borrow from that fic, too. Some highlights: Mayuri practiced feng-shui (like he'd spend his precious Sciencing time to do smth like that smh) he had these absolutely luxurious captains quarters, complete with a whole fancy bathhouse, like there was a waterfall and shit nsvdhshdv (I'll admit this was quite fun in the ff but i obviously interpret his quarters a lot differently)... and, last one I mention I promise😬 his paint rubbed off easily, big reason why I changed it tbfh cuz it immediately didn't make sense to me, like his hands especially? Is that different paint than the rubbing off paint? Or does he leave paint on every surface he touches, and discreetly wipe it up and reapply before anyone notices???? Expmain yourself, ff writer😤 jk jk it was really good for what it was, and I still very much appreciate it for helping me form my version<3

Omfg I really... shit what time is it😭 (over an hour, I've been sitting here for over an HOUR jesus fucking.. goddamn) Okay well I don't get to blab v often about this stuff, and it turns out I have a LOT of words in me today! So it was a perfect storm😩 Well I hope this was enlightening, thanks sm for the ask, it was a very fun hour lol. And sorry for the uhhh. the amount of words:p

[howthebestwaslost-blog]

I think I did it again

I made you believe we're more than just friends

Oh baby

It might seem like a crush

But it doesn’t mean that I’m serious

Sooooo here are my other thoughts about who Rogue is because I think about him a normal amount. Again, I haven’t read a lot of theories, it’s probably nothing new, just want to get it out of my head. I had this on my very popular three follower ig account before, but overworked it a bit. [Warning: even more meandering, I can’t keep up a straight thought to save my life, I’m sorry]

I know we all love our honest baby blue eyes not a lying bone in his body Rogue, but:

He is a bounty hunter after all, and kind of ruthless (using an incinerator when he has a big cool dangerous gun? Really?) and he could be much older than he looks to a human, and I don’t think you can have a long life of that kind if you don’t lie and cheat and use all kinds of tricks. I do think he’s generally honest (saves him the trouble of remembering lies anyway), and he’s emotionally open, but that’s not all he is. He kills people. If he was serious about pushing the button on his ship, maybe even with a smile. He’s not - that - innocent.

It’s been bugging me that the Doctor's saving throw of the psychic paper wasn't that convincing actually. So he had a proud little Timelord speech and scanned a few faces more, but Rogue was already dealing with cosplayers who went through several faces in one evening. Why does it still work?

The "new boss" Rogue mentions is for sure the same one the Meep was talking about. The Meep already said they were going to be interested in a two-hearted individual, so by now there's a bounty out for the Doctor, and it would be a big one. Which is of course what Rogue keeps an eye out for.

But Rogue doesn’t know that the man he trapped has two hearts, and the Doctor has got a brand new face (the same one the deep scan showed despite him being shapeshifter, but without the wig - shouldn’t it show a bird? Does Rogue already know that whatever he is, at least he’s not a Chuldur? Does he just enjoy making him scramble for something to save himself after the stunt with Kylie? Does he want to see if the Doctor has another cute little note for him? In any case, he has a certain glee… which is on the other hand pretty dark if he still thought he had a Chuldur and fully intended to incinerate him alive). So what makes him take the finger off the trigger?

David Tennant's face, of course.

Which is the face the Meep knew, and therefore the face every bounty hunter is looking for. And if there's one thing the Doctor can't do, then it's to stop talking, so he keeps confirming: Lord of Time. Gallifrey. Rogue remembers that name correctly later, maybe that’s a thing people with a working brain do, maybe he already knew it. In any case, instead of a lame old Chuldur, Rogue accidentally caught the biggest price of his professional life.

“Wow.”

Of course he immediately goes along with the Doctor. He's not happy about letting the Chuldur live, but he's got something bigger in front of him, so he lets it slide.

The connection they have over their loss is real for sure, I don’t think he’s pretending here. The Doctor did his best to stir up the pain earlier. Rogue isn't opposed to a kiss, but it's also hard to believe he's completely smitten already just like that. Yes, I know it’s Ncuti I’m talking about. He would also realise that the TARDIS is the perfect vessel to have a quick escape with. So what does he give the Doctor at the next opportune moment? A tracking device.

[that part is maybe a bit weak, because him wearing the ring on his right ring finger seems like a sentimental thing, which could mean he either improvised drama in the ballroom with whatever he had, or he was honestly showing his feelings. But if you give someone a tracker hidden in plain sight, your target might feel more of an obligation to wear it if you romantically pulled it off your own finger, and it’s the obvious place to keep it until useful? Third possibility, it’s a tracker and sentimental, because he and his partner used those to be able to find each other in a crisis…]

It just doesn’t look much like an ornamental ring to me. Sure it has a caduceus sort of shape, but it looks so technical. More like the kind of thing a bounty hunter creates while tinkering in his messy spaceship to help him catch his targets.

I also think he gets caught up in the adventure and he’s genuinely excited to have someone again to do all the planning and running and hiding with. He’s grinning like a kid when they both storm out of the house, and he doesn’t seem to worry too much about the trap holding only one. That would be the kind of improvising he loves and he’s got someone clever to do it with him. He’s enjoying himself. That and the dance must be tugging on him in favour of the Doctor.

All in all though he hasn't fully decided what to do. He could run away with the Doctor, have a new person to travel with, a new life, go on adventures, and have fun. Or he could convince the Doctor to get back into his ship later. Because he likes what he does: delivering targets and collecting the money. He’s suspiciously good at using a passionate kiss to steal a trigger, why should we believe he didn’t use flirting as a strategy before?

He's got the tracker on the Doctor, they are about to catch the Chuldur too, but now the gut punch happens, and the Doctor loses another friend - or is about to, at least.

I think it’s only then, when he sees that the Doctor will rather put the whole world in danger than sacrifice his friend (as Rogue might do too, if he had the chance again) that he makes his decision - that the Doctor is worth it, that the brave friend he travels with is worth it (and he already confessed to the Doctor earlier that he does not see much sense in his own life, I need to hug him). That's the deciding factor he's looking for when he asks the Doctor, because it's ultimately the Doctor deciding for him (look at the intensity in his face when he waits for the answer). Maybe he used kissing as a trick before, but he’s tearing up here for a moment. He can relate completely to the Doctor’s pain. And he keeps looking at the Doctor’s lips for two seconds before he holds up the stolen trigger. That connection is real even though he was tricking the Doctor, and nothing will change my mind.

And maybe there's a chance this madman in his ‘dimensionally transcendental’ machine can still save him after all. I’m certain Rogue got that line very intentionally, to show he understands that the TARDIS is perfectly capable of picking him up in a different dimension, as long as she knows where to look. The ring will end up being the solution. So it’s not a complete sacrifice, but a high stakes gamble whether the Doctor is clever enough to figure it out, whether he can really move the TARDIS to his dimension, and whether he cares enough to try [getting emotional thinking that he might not have seen it as gambling on something of high value, somebody hug him please].

In short: Rogue was attaching himself to the Doctor because there’s a lot of money to be made, but gets freight trained by the full force of Ncuti’s charisma and reconsiders important life choices. Would happen to any of us.

“But I thought the bounty hunter dropped into the void in the end”

“Well baby, I went down and got him for you”

[notmorbid]

playground.

dialogue prompts from playground: a novel by richard powers.

how can people live in this?

i'm trying to remember why i'm alive.

i am alive for the sole purpose of enjoying you.

you are a sordid piece of shit.

i love you. you'll believe anything.

i cannot wait to be free of you.

i've never told anyone but you.

it's okay. you're awake.

the gods are bothering me, for some reason.

i could learn something from you.

whose kid are you?

everyone needs to eat, but few people are aware of who sets the table.

you can't forget what you never knew.

people and their emotions puzzle me.

ready or not, here comes everything.

it's a fine morning, all things considered.

you're going to save us.

was there something you wanted to talk about?

they make electric cars now, you know.

i failed you.

i made a promise that i can't keep.

your perfection embarrasses me.

it's only emergency adultery.

what i really want is to talk.

power is an isolating thing.

power is a thing more given than taken.

i'm done with denial. i'm working my way through resentment.

i've rolled enough dice in my life to know how chance works.

i've always been a coward about the unknown.

all you need to do is breathe.

the water belongs to nobody. it's no man's land.

you're the only one of us who has a chance of making it in this world.

the smart ones want to be anywhere but here.

everyone talks a lot of trash about you, you know.

nobody really knows you. only i know the real you.

what is the most important quality a person can possess?

don't worry. i love you no matter what.

a person who never felt sad would be a monster.

i've had enough paternal stupidity for one lifetime.

i knew of you before i knew your name.

you deserve the best that ______ has to offer.

any excuse to go home as late as possible.

this is america. it's hardly a fair fight.

see you next week, asshole.

_____ is the closest thing to my religion.

you can ask. doesn't mean i have to answer.

who taught you to be so sneaky?

i can't even bluff at cards.

disguise yourself and do what you need to.

do you have a life philosophy? words you live by?

you couldn't have called ahead?

you seem like you can handle other people's opinions.

i won't be gone for long.

this isn't going to work, is it?

i'm not going to be able to leave you, am i?

life is never good at obeying human logic.

i wouldn't mind laying down a while. maybe just a month or two.

we make things that we hope will be bigger than us, then we're desolate when that's what they become.

you're truly crazy, but crazy memorable.

i could complain, but i won't.

i tend to think that the world is my fault. maybe that's ego or something.

you don't even know how free you are. it's just like breathing to you.

hold on. small steps.

i always thought a person had to choose between safety and freedom.

you could teach me a thing or two.

new game. i'm making the rules.

every human heart imagines god a different way.

stop being such a self-protecting little coward.

if it makes you feel good to think so, then think so.

i'm so simple. you only need to know a few things about me.

i don't believe in your world, and you'll never understand mine.

being safety will always get you killed.

they got what they wanted, but now they want the old me back.

this place isn't fit for human habitation.

find the moves the rules forgot to outlaw.

you know what the flight attendants say: put your own mask on before assisting others.

i was there. i know that song.

no vote is a vote, too.

what we two had was very beautiful for a while.

do not blame your fear of life on me.

i'll be fine. back in ten minutes.

don't let them make you as crazy as they are.

there has to be a way to spin this mountain of shit into gold.

i never did like poker. too much psychology.

when have i ever not helped you?

hope and truth cannot be reconciled.

don't i get a hug before the interrogation? a 'nice to see you'?

have you been sleeping alright? your eyes look baggy.

i've gotten what i needed from this life.

why are you still so tall?

you only ever loved me for my car.

call me. same old number.

what are you? who are you? why are you here?

what did you do to ____?

careful. remember your training.

consciousness is not all it's cracked up to be.

[holder-culture-is]

Newly diagnosed trauma holder culture and recently only learning you have a system and not knowing what all these terms mean after years of everything being thrown at the wall to see what stuck with doctors. What is an Endo? Why is Traumagenic (me or us) a term? Are diction alters real or not? And why can't I know my alters the way others seem to define them as separate people? I'm all blurry all the time. It's so overwhelming learning all this stuff. Is it a bad thing to still mostly use singular pronouns when referring to ourselves even though I've been told there are about 12 distinct personalities? Is 12 a lot? It feels like a lot. What about the fear of being called a chronic liar? Am I bsing if I only just came to a name for my system?

(Can I be called 🦌🦇 sys anon?)

Woah okay ‼️ you’ve probably found answers to this by now cause this has been sitting in the inbox so long, but let’s take it one step at a time ^^

What is an Endo?: Endogenic systems (or endos for short!) are systems that claim to be formed by something other than trauma . Many traumagens don’t believe in endo systems, including us, but I don’t wanna tell you what to believe ‼️ do your own research on endo systems and plurality (cause I think there’s a difference ?? Idk‼️)

Why is Traumagenic a term?: has a lot to do with those that claim to be endos being more common‼️ it was created as a way to differentiate , but if you (like us) don’t believe in endos, there’s really no reason to use it . You still can , though ‼️ not here to police you ^^

Are [f]iction alters real or not?: I’m 90% sure you meant fiction and not diction , so I’ll go with this one . What you’re talking about are fictional introjects , also called fictives or fictites ‼️ And in that case, yes ‼️ They are real :3 introjection is a normal human process, but with the compartmentalization that CDDs cause , it takes that to the extreme with introjects ‼️ Fictives specifically can form if the media is a major player in a system’s life , and the brain believes an alter with the traits of a certain character could help the specific situation ^^

Why can’t I know my alters the way others seem to define them as separate people?: For starters, recognizing alters as alters instead of fully separate people is actually really good for healing ‼️ (NOTE: if you see your alters as separate people, that’s not inherently a bad thing ‼️ the fact is though , they aren’t . I’m not going to tell you what terms to use for your system , and you’re within your right to refer to alters as different people ‼️ I’m just stating a fact :>) and about knowing your alters , that comes with time . We’re still trying to figure out all of us ^^

Is it a bad thing to refer to ourselves with singular pronouns?: No ‼️ that’s your choice , and whatever makes you most comfortable is the correct option :> we use plural pronouns because that’s more comfortable , but using singular is just as valid ^^

Is 12 a lot?: That really depends ^^ your brain needed 12 separate alters to survive your trauma , so by that logic it’s not ‼️ and even if it was , that’s not a bad thing ^w^ take your time with your system :3

What about the fear of being called a chronic liar?: Denial is a huge part of CDDs ‼️ they’re meant to be covert, so discovering them is usually very difficult . And remember , you and your psychologists a know your experiences the best . Listen to your doctors , and evaluate your own experiences . If you aren’t a system , there’s no shame ‼️

Am I bsing if I only just came to a name for my system? Nope ‼️ you aren’t even required to have a system name , it’s just something a lot of us do :3 and if you mean just figuring out your experiences had a name , you wouldn’t be in that case either ^^ Either way , you aren’t bsing anon :3

Whew, this was a long one ‼️ hope you’re doing better now , anon ! Ik this took a while to get to :<

[narrators-journal]

Heyy! I hope this isn't a bother, but I'm absolutely craving some Fyodor x Reader! Sooo, imagine this—Fyodor was your husband in a past life, and now he finds you again in Yokohama, working for either the ADA or PM. Obviously, he can't just let his *wife* be with someone else, right? I’d love to see more of that whole 'immortal x mortal' vibe, ahh! And to keep it true to his character, he calls Reader 'Anna' even though they have a new name now. Hope you have a great day/night! ☺️

(Make him have this yandere 'I'll kill every human that matters to you' vibes as cherry on top🤫)

This is another short one. I tried to pack in as many details as I could, really craft the scene despite that. And, I hope Fyodor is in character, I tried to keep him lmao. I hope that’s clear, and I hope that it sates you! I kept the reader somewhat gender-neutral and vague, and I hope that helps more people enjoy this lil ditty.

Reincarnation wasn’t something Fyodor Dostoevsky usually bought into. The concept came from ancient vedic religions, usually polytheistic ones, which Fyodor didn’t tend to follow closely nor care about. He preferred more monotheistic religions. That way he didn’t have to share the attention and love of his followers with anyone. And, that way, nobody else could think to challenge him.

Yet, as the pale ravenette sat wrapped in his cloak in the lightly busy cafe to watch you politely order your daily coffee and muffin. His violet eyes locked onto you while you stood at the baked-good-littered counter, he knew. The way that you stood, shifted on your feet while you waited on the barista, it was all familiar to the russian who sat with his inky, shoulder-length hair pulled up into a ponytail. You may have not looked quite the same, but he’d learned everything about you in the years you’d been his. So, he knew it was you, reincarnation or not.

How exactly you’d come back?...he couldn’t say, much to his annoyance. But, that didn’t change what he saw now on that chilly winter morning. That didn’t change how easily he recognized your features a week before, and right now. Though, despite how easily he’d recognized you, he knew that you weren’t likely to have the same moment of recognition he had. No. He thought while he watched you thank the barista and make a beeline for the door. Quick to vanish into the flow of civilians to start your shift at work. They would need to fall in love all over again. They don’t remember me.

He sighed at the thought, his eyes returned to the cup of coffee that he had no interest in. The warm fragrance of caffeine mixed with the scents of muffins, cookies, and cakes as he sat at the slightly wobbly table in thought. I’ll need to remind them. Remind her of our time together in the past, and of the vow they made to me. He decided, It’ll take time, but I have plenty of that. The only real threat is their current partner, and their friends. I can’t rely on our childhood bond, she wasn’t raised in any cult in this life, let alone my family’s cult. So, I’ll have to be a bit more ruthless in keeping her attention on me.

He hummed a bit to himself and nodded at his own plan. before he got up and picked up the now-cold coffee he’d ordered at least an hour ago at this point. Just need to get rid of her friends and lovers. Keep her safe until she regains her memories. He thought, a small smile on his lips as he tossed the cup and strolled out into the busy streets of the winter day.

Normally, the cloak-clad russian would follow you to work to judge how friendly you were with your coworkers and boss, but, today he meandered off towards your home instead. The throngs of people alive with chatter, gossip, and complaints of their daily to-dos. Did any of them know you? Were they your best friend? He’d spent the week on a hunt through your internet footprint to find any connections or information he could use. He knew who your friends were, and he recognized nobody as he passed, but that didn’t mean the strangers weren’t somehow aware of you, somehow a threat to Fyodor’s plan.