#i can't even begin to tell you how much i love this grumpy old man

[sp00kymulderr]

Boop me once...

Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings/Tags/Notes: 18+. blue balls, grumpy Joel, horny Joel, Joel hates tumblr confirmed, pussy slapping, they're in love btw, reader could never be any of us ignoring Joel like this but lets pretend for fun. um idk guys. Thank boopoween for the inspo i guess. Unedited, unbeta'd all mistakes my own and there's probably a lot.

Words: 1.3k

It had started with a boop.

Well, a message from your friend telling you boops were back.

You and Joel were lying in bed, putting off the start of the day for another few minutes before you'd have to get up and going. He was always clingy in the mornings, and this morning was no different as he snuggled up behind you whilst you scrolled your phone.

"Mm…feels nice" you murmur when his lips lightly press against your shoulder, and then you squirm and push back against him when he does it again where your shoulder meets your neck.

"You feel nice" Joel whispers in your ear, hand travelling south and grabbing a handful of your ass.

You giggle softly, only to be cut short in what you were about to say in response when a notification pops up on your phone, a message on your favourite social media site.

'Turn your boop counter on!!'

Joels hand is still massaging the flesh of your ass while you're immediately opening up your app, an giddy gasp leaving you when you see the return of the iconic boops

"Getting excited, baby?" He laughs gruffly at your gasp, but your response certainly isn't what he's expecting.

"Tumblr turned boops back on!"

"…"

Joel looks at you like you're speaking a different language. Which you are, to him

"…What the hell is a tumblr?"

You just roll your eyes and shake your head before turning back attention to your phone with a giddy glint in your eye, "Don't worry about it, old man" you tease and he grumbles something under his breath as his lips make contact with your neck again.

You aren't paying so much attention now though, and Joel nips at your skin to bring you back to him.

You giggle but still you're on your phone, he peers down at the screen and sees kitty paws popping up, and he feels even more perplexed.

"Not got long, honey. Put the phone down, yeah?" He says, making it sound more like a command than a request.

"Hm?" You respond, half-listening "Give me one minute…just…"

Joel sighs. Looks at the clock, and watches the minute tick by. His fingers rub absentminded on your skin and if you turned your head, you'd see his lips forming the beginnings of a pout, an expression usually left to you when he teases you.

By the time you put your phone down, there's no real time at all. You turn to kiss him and Joel reciprocates but barely.

"Gotta get up, got a job on site today" he says as he pulls away.

And that's that. Morning ruined.

A dark cloud hangs over Joel most of the day. He curses this tumblr thing, and boops or whatever the fuck you were on about. He grumbles to Tommy the whole morning, and harrumphs around in the afternoon working in the garage.

He's still fucking horny, but he's too stubborn to just jerk off and call it a day. Oh no, he's gotta get his own back on you now.

"Hey handsome!" You call when you return home for the day, peeking your head into the garage and, okay, Joel lights up maybe just a little bit. Just a tiny bit.

"Hey darlin" He says, giving you a smile that has a glint of annoyance to it. You don't notice, phone still in hand, a string of notifications popping up on your screen as you speak to him.

"How was your day?" He asks, setting his tools down and coming around the garage to you.

"Oh, good. Didn't get much done, just booping"

"Just boopin'. Right…"

You don't see the angry tick of his jaw as you lean up to him and give him a cheeky little smile before going in for a kiss. He can't resist, of course not. He never could when its you.

But when you pull away, a happy sigh leaving your lips, you raise your finger and poke his nose with a "Boop!"

Joel loses it then; the press of your finger to his nose, the 'boop!' in that stupid, lilting tone. He's had enough. He's already frustrated from being left with blue balls this morning, so now he's annoyed and horny.

"I swear to god!" He grumbles, pointing an accusing finger at you

"W-what?" You asks, face a picture of surprise at his sudden outburst.

"This fuckin' boop thing! It's ridiculous, i've goddam had it"

"It's just…it's just a tumblr thing"

"I don't know what that means, and I don't wanna"

You can't deny his angry tone and the wild look in his eyes is making your cunt throb. You keep up your perplexed, innocent look as he goes on about it; about how he didn't get quality time with his girl this morning, how he'd been left aching all day and did you even care?!

"Joel, I'm s-" you start, holding your hand on his chest, a show of apology because you really hadn't meant to make him feel that way. He looks down at you, eyes dark and stormy and finds the fire in your own.

"You like boopin' so damn much, huh?" He practically growls out. Your clit jumps in excitement at the rumbling tone.

You nod dumbly.

"Well I'm gonna boop you til you fuckin' cry"

You figure he's not talking about a poke to your nose when he grabs you and hauls you down to the couch, you squeal excitedly, phone dropped to the floor as you eagerly help him pull of your clothes in a fit of rage…passion…determination…you can't quite pinpoint it but you're certainly not complaining about it.

"What happens on that little app of yours when you boop?" Joel asks, looking down between your legs while he kneels between your ankles, big hands holding them tight.

"It's…it's like…" You breath is a little ragged. He can easily tell you're already wet through your underwear "It's a paw that sort of…smacks?" you try to explain.

"Yeah?" Joel nods, tongue flicking out to moisten his lips. His hand reaches out like a flash, and a slap lands on your clothed pussy making you yelp.

"Joel!" you whine, the yell of surprise quickly turning to a moan, clit twitching and pussy clenching around nothing.

"Something like that, you think?" He asks, before he does it again.

Your mouth hangs open slack, eyes flutter closed as you let the sensation envelop you.

"Yeah, uhm, yeah, i think so…maybe, uhm, do it again to make sure?" you whisper, biting down on your bottom lip to suppress the desperate whine clawing up your throat.

He chuckles darkly, pulse quickening as he takes in your expression while he takes his sweet time pulling your underwear down, kissing your ankles before he tugs it all the way off and throws it to the floor. Your cunt is glistening, beautiful, mesmerising enough that he almost forgets he was ever annoyed to begin with.

Then your forgotten phone pings, muffled by the lacy fabric fallen on top of it, and Joel gives you a wicked smile.

A quick succession of slaps to your bare pussy have you crying out, and then squirming as he sooths the sting with gentle touches to your folds, parting them and massaging lightly with his thumbs.

"You still like boopin'?" He asks softly now, a thumb circling your clit and making you arch in delicious pleasure again.

"Mmm" is about all you manage. He's leaning over you now, crowding you and pressing you into the soft cushion of the couch. His jeans-covered bulge rubs against your aching pussy and you just nod, and nod and nod.

"Tell me, baby"

"Yeah. Yeah. Like it" You smile soft up at him, eyes wide and reverent, fingers gripping at his strong back, around to his soft stomach, down to the button of his jeans, "Like your version better, f-fuck tumblr, fuck those kitty paws"

He gives a wolfish grin, anticipation glittering in his dark eyes.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet"

[zoros-fourth-sword]

Scarlett- Chapter One

Summary: Portgas D. Scarlett  Ace's older sister, decides to join Trafalgar Law's crew as their navigator after her brother's death. At first, she is distant and consumed with grief over her loss, but as she spends more time with Law and his crew, she begins to find comfort in their shared experiences.

As they journey together through the Grand Line, Law, and Scarlett must face off against dangerous foes and navigate the treacherous waters of the New World. Along the way, they grow closer, and Scarlett begins to see Law in a new light.

But their love is not without its challenges, as Law is still haunted by his past and the events that led him to become a pirate. Scarlett must confront her feelings of guilt and loss over her brother's death if she wants to move forward with Law.

WC: 1.7k

Taglist: ???

WARNINGS: grief, depression, mention of death

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀsʟɪsᴛ

Chapter One: Grumpy Pants

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no, it can't be it's a lie It can't be true I won't believe it he can't be dead He can't. I tightly grip the newspaper in my hands trying to fight back the tears threatening to escape it was like my entire world was crumbling under me it was like I was destined to be alone first I lost my mother then Sabo and now my baby brother Ace it's too much how am I supposed to live on without the people I love I need him I can't leave him we promised to stay alive and Luffy we still got to make him the king of the pirates right

"it can't be" I broke as I sank to the floor

"don't tell me it's true old man" I sob looking up at Rayleigh

"I'm so sorry kid" The old man looked at me unsure what to do

'h h he can't be dead" I cry as my heart falls to my stomach causing me to feel sick it was the most painful feeling I have ever experienced I couldn't breathe I couldn't think all I could do was cry I felt so hopeless I couldn't even protect my baby brother isn't that what an older sibling is supposed to isn't that there role in this life to protect their little sibling and I couldn't even do that

"Luffy what about Luffy" I panic as I quickly get up off the floor causing Ray to reach his arms out in concern

"hey hey kid calm down," Ray said as he grabbed my shoulders stopping my panicked self in front of him

"Ray it hurts" I choke looking at the man in front of me seeing he had a concerned expression on his face

"he can't be dead" I sob as I tightly grip his shirt. Burying my head into his chest letting everything I was holding in out. all the pain, the grief, the anger, all of it stained Ray’s shirt

"I can't live without him Ray I can't do it" I choke as my eyes painfully become puffy from the salty tears stinging my eyes

"I know Scar and I'm so sorry kid but you have to be strong for yourself, and not just that Luffy needs you," Ray said as he began to rub the back of my head trying to calm me down

"It's so hard Ray it's so fucking hard what am I supposed to do how am I supposed to face Luffy after this he needed me and I wasn't there I was so fucking busy with everything else that I couldn't even see that my brothers needed me" I cry as I began to beat my hand on Ray’s chest in frustration

"Scarlett I know you're angry and frustrated but you can't let those feelings control your spirit do you understand me you need to be strong," Ray said as he hugged me tighter

"Listen kid I found out where Luffy is and I'm going to head there in a moment," Ray said as he pulled away from our hug. grabbing my shoulders to gain my full attention

"what do ya say kid how about you see your little brother again," Ray said as he whipped the tears off my red and puffy face

"Yeah'' I choke out nodding my head yes

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"wheres Luffy" I demanded as I hopped out of the water with Ray causing my clothes to stick to my body

"kid calm down," Ray said from behind me trying to stop me from causing a scene

"And who are you," a tall man with tattoos harshly asked crossing his buff arms over his chest

"I'm his sister and you," I say placing one hand on my hip while my face showed I was irritated

"I'm the man who saved his life," the man said giving me a harsh glare

"Oh," I say as I calm down feeling bad about my rude approach

"look I'm sorry it’s just-" Before I could finish my sentence the man cut me off

"It's fine he's in the forest with Jenbei" the man said as he began walking away

Forgetting about the man I quickly ran through the forest desperately searching for my little brother soon I came to a path to see two small dots in the distance the closer I got to them the more I realized it was Luffy and Jenbei

"LUFFY" I scream trying to get the boy's attention not caring about the rocks hitting my ankles from running so fast

"SCAR" Luffy screamed once he realized it was me

"LUFFY' i scream again as we get closer desperately missing one another after being away for such a long time

"SCAR" Luffy screamed jumping into my arms causing me to stumble backwards

“I missed you so much” Luffy mumbled into my shoulder as his body slightly shock due to adrenaline pumping through his veins

“I missed you too Lu,” I say against the top of his head squeezing him tighter afraid if I let him go I would never see him again

“I'm so glad you're okay,” Luffy said as he pulled away from our hug giving me a warm smile

“Of course I am I’m stronger than you think” I weakly chuckle as I rub the top of his head slightly messing up his greasy hair

“I know” Luffy smiled causing my heart to ache. After all the stuff he had been through he was still pushing through it

“Old man Ray is here apparently he needs to see ya,” I say smiling past my pain wanting to be strong for Luffy

“Really then let’s go” Luffy said excitedly as he ran back to the camp sight

“Are you alright Scarlett” Jenbei asked as he came up behind me

“Yeah I’ll just learn to cope with it,” I weakly say giving the Fishman a slight shrug

“Confident as ever I see I wouldn’t expect any less from Ace’s older sister,” the big man laughed as he gave me a light pat on the back

“Thank you Jenbei” I say giving the man a warm smile feeling proud to know that I was considered strong for being Portgas D. Ace’s older sister after all I did teach him a thing or two about not taking shit from no one

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“WHAT WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO” I scream towards Ray once he tells me his plan apparently he and Luffy are going to leave me to go train on some island for 2 years

“calm down scar I already figured that out we just got to talk to him first and lucky for you he’s looking for a navigator,” Ray said as he tried to calm me down

“YOUR TELLING ME YOU HAVENT EVEN ASKED THEM YET” I scream out angrily my face turning red from anger

“It’s fine Scar I have this under control,” Ray said as he pushed his glasses up his face

“Yea if you screw this up I’m going to kill you I don’t wanna be fucking homeless” I snap as I cross my arms over my chest

“Matter of fact I’ll go talk to him right now,” Ray said as he got up from the log he was sitting on

“Wait you're telling me that there here on the island theres nothing but women here,” I say as I fling up from my log

“You meet him earlier you seemed to get along,” Ray chuckled as he continued to walk away

“WAIT YOU MEAN GRUMPY PANTS” I screamed in panic realizing I disrespected my maybe future captain

“I think it’s a great idea by the way Scar,” Luffy said below me as he sat on his log

“Really I mean I haven’t been in a crew besides Ace’s” I mumble as I take my seat on my log next to Luffy my heart slightly breaking from the memory of Ace

“Yeah and Traffy’s a nice guy” Luffy smiled as he took a bite from the meat that Boa Hancock brought to him

“Traffy” I questionably asked with a raised eyebrow 

“Yea his name’s actually Trafalgar Law but I call him Traffy” Luffy said as he continued to eat

“Oh I see it’s kinda cute” I chuckle as I take the meat Luffy was eating out of his hand to take a bite of my own

“Hey get your own” Luffy growled as he tried to get his meat back

“Nope,” I say popping the p trying to avoid his attacks

“Come on Scar give it back” Luffy growled again as he desperately tried to get the meat

“I’ll kick your ass over this meat” I growl smacking Luffy’s hands away

“Is that a challenge” Luffy growled as he pushed his forehead against mine

“Enough you two” Ray said as he came walking back over to us with the man named Law

Before I could say anything Luffy snatched the food from my hand and swallowed the thing hole including the bone

“LUFFY” I yell smacking the boy on the back of the head causing him to let out a whine

“Scar come here for a sec,” Ray said as he called me over towards him and Law

I quickly head over to them giving Luffy one good smack across the head with my haki making sure the boy could feel it

“Ow what the heck” Luffy growled but I just simply ignored him and went on my merry way

“What’s up” I say putting a hand on my hip once I reach the two men seeing that Law had a bored expression plastered on his face

“Listen I don’t take shit lightly if you're going to join my crew you're going to do as I say” Law huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest

“Of course” I agree not really wanting to argue and besides I do need somewhere to stay and I’m also desperate

“Good all I ask is to not mess up my ship and look out for the rest of the crew,” Law said as he looked me up and down

“Of course, I’ll consider them as my own family I’m sure” I weakly say giving the man a small smile feeling a slight sting from the word family

“Welcome to the crew we’ll be leaving in 30” Law said as he walked back to his ship

“Um okay,” I say surprisingly not expecting the man to be so up front about it

“Seems to me you found your home kid” Ray chucked as he placed a hand on my shoulder

“Yea” I nervously chuckled not really looking forward to my new captain I can already tell we are going to be bumping heads

Next Chapter

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° 　. ● . ★ ° . *　　　°　.　°☆

　. * ● ¸ . 　　　★ 　° :●. 　 *

I hope this was good I’m so sorry if it wasn’t please comment and let me know 💕❤️

{A/N this is what Scarleet looks like to give everyone an idea}

[aethon-recs]

January 2023 Tomarrymort One-Shots

I wasn't planning to do a month-by-month rec list, but my god did January deliver on one-shots — so many showstopping works were published this month that these 10 fics deserve their own post. And what a variety too(!), with fics ranging from A/B/O to love potion mishaps to fem!Harry, and even canon-compliant(-ish) Harrymort.

Criteria for this list: one-shot, complete, published in January 2023 (yes, in the last month alone!)

Why one-shots?, you may ask. The majority of what I read is chaptered works and longfics, but I think one-shots can be a bit overlooked and underrated — they don't have ongoing updates on AO3, and the first rec lists in this ship that I encountered were dominated by longfics. So I wanted to celebrate and highlight the amazing work that the writers in this fandom are doing in short-form writing. Also, one-shots tell a full story arc in one go — and isn't that wonderful to get plot resolution and closure in a single sitting?

(Thank you also for dropping recs into my ask box! Please keep them coming!!)

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Tomarrymort Recs (January 2023)

a dream is a wish by @funkyatheart (E, 5k)

This was such a delight to read from beginning to end. Cleverly weaved in between the canon events of book 5 are SUPER HOT dream-sharing sequences that show the escalation of Harry's increasing fascination with Voldemort. And we're gifted with hemipenes and consciousness-sharing through their mental link — what more can I can ask for from a Harrymort smut scene??

A Special Day by @vdoshu (E, 3.5k)

My jaw was ON. THE. FLOOR. for this whole fic. Grumpy old man Voldemort with all his old man habits was such a delight to read about — I don't think I've ever seen this concept done before. And when Harry shows up, the narrative tension is so good and kept me on the edge of my seat. I can't say much more without giving things away, but I definitely recommend this as one of the most unique and twisted concepts I've ever read in Harrymort.

Banish Me to the Garden of Eden by @contrarywiseizybel (M, 7k)

Rich, sumptuous descriptions run through this entire fic and bring to life — very vividly — the entire story arc of Harry locked up in a tower as Voldemort's captive and how he gradually comes to make the best of his fate. The author's writing is so poetic and lyrical and makes really good use of repetition, which gives the whole fic a very fairy-tale-like quality (including the happily-ever-after ending!)

Bruises Like Violets by @noumena-writes (E, 3k)

A forbidden romance between Tom and Harry who are on opposite sides of the war makes their last tryst VERY high-tension and fraught with danger. As always, noumena's writing is full of so many gorgeous and richly detailed phrases, like "The raging fire that burnt through every angry spell was slowly eating away at Harry, leaving a battle-weary shadow in his place." Absolute 🔥 writing.

Cherish by @amors-mordre (G, 1k)

This fic gave me the absolute chills in just 800 words. Voldemort is at his manipulative best here, as well as absolute peak possessiveness. The dynamic between Voldemort and captive Harry is delightfully creepy and leaves you craving more.

his lady in crimson (who reaches through time) by @ellorypurebloodculture (M, 5k)

This was such a cool non-traditional time-travel story! All the descriptions of fem!Harry and her outfits are absolutely gorgeous — I don't think I've come across this level of detail to costuming in very many other fics before; it was one of those really nice details that you can tell the author put a lot of work into and that really made the fic very memorable for me. And oh god, I felt every moment of Harry's heartful yearning and desperation and urgency in reaching out across time to Tom, and how much she loved him already — an absolutely beautiful love story.

never a victimless crime by @duplicitywrites (E, 7.5k)

Someone doses Tom with a lust potion keyed to Harry — and an absolutely wild, chaotic, wet, filthy hot mess of a shower-scene PWP ensues, featuring Tom who's been drugged out of his mind and Harry who's trying to do the right thing but is similarly incapacitated by a mild concussion. This had so much sexy chaotic energy, and is definitely one of the best things I've read on AO3.

Serendipity by @lissiamoonstone (E, 6.5k)

SO MANY LAYERS OF DUBCON. SO MANY LAYERS. And combined with super possessive Alpha Tom and Harry being in heat and somnophilia as the icing on top!? This was such a delicious mind-fuck — I reread it a few times and kept finding new things to notice, and I know I'll come back to reread it many more times.

They, of Riddle Manor by riddlereading (M, 16k)

I think this is one of the most unique Voldemort-wins story arcs I've read in Tomarry. Just one thing goes differently when Tom goes to Riddle Manor for the first time, and he doesn't end up killing his muggle relatives, which then sets off a sequence of events that result in Lily not dying and Harry growing up (with a happy childhood) in Riddle Manor. It's absolutely adorable from start to finish, and I had a huge smile on my face when I finished.

Tom Riddle’s Guide to Repeatedly Failing to Get Laid in the Restricted Section by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts (M, 3k)

I jumped to open this fic when I saw some of the tags here — dubcon, amnesia, mind manipulation(!!) This was such a fun and snappy read, featuring one of my favorite things — Tom repeatedly fucking with Harry's head to get what he wants (in this case, getting laid). He is absolutely undeterred and plays dirty, and we would expect nothing less of our favorite babygirl dark lord in training 💕

*

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING part. 6

HELLO I'm here again with Bad Feeling. I LOVE Haymitch and writing this fic is becoming addicting, but I can't help but wonder if he is a little OOC. Remember, he doesn't do things without thinking, so he is not being completely reckless.

MASTERLIST

It's still night, everything is quiet.

You draw stars around his scars with your fingers, he is humming in pleasure in return. If you close your eyes you can pretend you are in District 12, in his victor's home, and in two hours you will go to work. Everything is fine, everything is normal, maybe just Holly freaking out because you are in bed with a forty year old man who is also your boss. That seems fun right now. 

You really don't want to think about the games. You want to be happy without thinking "for now".

«I like your scars.» You mumble, staring at his back. You clearly ended in his disgusting bed, and now you smell like a liquor store too. 

It was worth it, though. You thought he was a rough lover, selfish maybe, definitely grumpy. You were wrong, well, half wrong. He is rough and now you are sure you have bruises, but he is also kind and generous. And not at all grumpy, which surprised you the most. 

«So you are really insane.» He jokes.

«No, I mean I know they are bad and it was horrible, but...» You ramble, afraid you offended him, but he turns around to stop you. 

«Relax, sweetheart.» 

«I'm not very good at it.» You confess.

«Yeah? I guess I'll have to help you then.» He begins to bite and kiss and lap your neck and you can't help but giggle. 

«I have to go to my room!» You protest. Well, you protest, your body is more than ready for him. 

«Do you deny a man his property?»

You roll your eyes. He will never forget that not-so-prepared-speech. «Very funny. I take back everything, I'll see if Finnick Odair is a single man.»

His eyes darken and he squeezes you even more. «Go, then.»

«I can’t, your grip is too strong.» You explain. He pretends he doesn’t know, while he is pressing himself on you. He has a surprisingly fit body for an old alcoholic. 

«Yeah? You don’t like that?»

«Oh no, I really like that.» You tie your arms around his neck. «I like that you are strong, I like that you are rough, I even like when you show up a little tipsy.» You confess before you kiss him. His eyes soften, and you can tell he is done joking.

«Promise me something.»

«Anything you want.»

«Don't fuck it up. Don't be a hero, don't save someone because they look weaker than you.»

«I won't.»

«I'm serious.» He grips your arms so much it hurts. «Don't die in that arena.»

«I will try, I promise.» You want to light up the atmosphere, so you smile. Also because you just lied, you will try but it’s certain you will die, that is why you acted in the first place. «You know what I like the most? When you open the bottle and you hold the cap with your teeth.»

He looks at you in disbelief. «You are a very strange woman.»

But he looks hot when he does that. There is something about his gestures, how confident he is.

«Yeah but it goes to your advantage, so shut up and take a shower with me.»

«Yes ma'am.»

The real world crushes you hard, you don't want to go to the training, but in two days you will have to perform for the gamemakers, so you force yourself. You spend your day with Lora and Perla (which is a problem, since you seem more a group of friends than tributes and you really don’t want to arrive at the point where you don’t know how to kill them) then you go to the car to return to the penthouse.

You don't expect to be face to face with President Snow when the car arrives. 

«Please get in the car, Miss Pinecone.»

He knows your name. Well, of course he knows. 

He is terrifying. What is the worst is that he doesn’t look terrifying. With his white hair and long beard he looks like a granddad, not a President. A president that, you know, ordered to kill Haymitch’s family, sold victors and escorts to people he wanted to please, and regularly sends children to die every year in a reality show.

He is the big bad wolf in the fairytales.

The smell in the car is bad, and you just spent the night in a liquor bottle. It smells like something you don’t know, something sour. You just want fresh air, you want to get out of this car, you want Haymitch or Effie or your mama. As pathetic as it sounds, you want mama to rescue you. 

«Mr. President, nice to meet you.» You manage to say, not even bothered to hide that you are scared. He is already aware of it, he is probably enjoying the power he has over you.

«Miss Pinecone, I watched you on the television. You are a very proper girl, with good manners.» He looks pleased, is that a good sign? A bad sign? Is that a sign at all? 

«Thank you, Mr. President.» You whisper. You can't, just can't watch him in the eyes, so you focus yourself on the rose he has pinned on his white jacket.

«Can we please be sincere to each other?» He asks, and you only nod. You can’t even speak. «Good. I like you, Miss Pinecone. But I don’t like that you don’t want to do what you are supposed to do.»

«I… I beg your pardon?»

«You almost look like a Capitol girl. Very far from Katniss Everdeen, don’t you think?» 

Fuck you, I’m a woman from the District 12 and I’m proud of it. And Katniss Everdeen is a girl in a game bigger than her. You aren’t blind, you noticed signs all over the district since the last Hunger Games. That is why young men and women were picked and not teenagers instead this year, because even if teenagers can be the spark, adults have to keep going. «Thank you.»

«You are welcome. I think Miss Effie Trinket is to thank, don’t you?»

«Yes, Mr. President.» Not Effie. He couldn't, could he? She is from Capitol, she is a resident. One of his people. She is devoted to her country, she knows the Panem motto word by word. 

Then again, he sold her when she was younger.

«You don’t want to cause anything bad to Miss Trinket, right?» 

You shake your head, petrified. 

«And I’ve heard you share a deep connection with your mentor. We don’t want another tragedy upon him. Or your mother.» He saw you and Haymitch, you just get it from the look he gives you. And of course he knows you have a mother, he already probably knows her name and address.

You close your eyes for a moment, knowing you are screwed. «What do I have to do to keep them safe?»

«Just go when I call for you. Without telling Mr. Abernathy, we know he can be tempered. Do we have a deal, miss Pinecone?»

You nod, holding back the tears. Crying or screaming won't give you anything more, maybe he will be even pissed off. «Yes, Mr. President.»

He hands you the rose. «You are welcome, Daisy, and good luck in the games.»

When you are out of the car you run into the penthouse as fast as you can, tears begin to stream down to your face. You know there’s air in the room, but you can’t breathe. 

«Darling girl what happened?» Effie goes near to you, but you can barely hear or see her. 

«What's wrong with her?» Haymitch asks, worried, but this time Effie looks sure.

«That's a panic attack, a bad one.» She holds your hands. «Now look at me Daisy, look at me.»

You are trying, although your body is shaking too much and you can't calm down. Maybe that's not a panic attack, maybe that's a heart attack and you are dying.

«Hear my voice, follow me. Breathe in, breathe out.» She gestures to you on how to do that, and you desperately try until it slowly passes and you have control on your body again.

«She is with us again.» Effie states and calmly hugs you.

«I'm so sorry.»

«Nonsense. It happens to me too, after a while you know the signs and it becomes a little easier.» She caresses your hair. «What triggered it?»

«Nothing.» You force yourself to say, but you notice too late you still have the white rose in your hand. They look at each other, but remain silent, and Haymitch hugs you. 

The next day flows and this is the day you have to perform for the gamemakers. The gamemakers are weird men, they are all men, not a single woman present. The head gamemakers is new and his name is Plutarch, the last one, Seneca Crane, committed suicide after Katniss and Peeta’s win last year. 

Haymitch simply said "Make sure they remember you". 

You have no idea what to do. You are strong, so you better start there.

«District 12, Daisy Pinecone.» You present yourself and you watch them. They don't care, you are the last one. You wonder what Clark did. 

You have ten minutes. You notice they have ice skates and an ice location. This turns on the light bulb in your brain. If they placed it there it means it has something to do with the arena. And you know how to skate, Holly taught you during the rigid winter in the district. There was a lake, and she thought it was fun. Thanks, mom.

After the preparation, you begin to skate. At first you lift a very heavy globe and on skates it's impressive, but then you start to spin, and you spin, and you spin until you lift your leg and decapitate the mannequin you placed close to yourself with the skate blades. You knew they must have been a weapon, you took a chance. Ice skate’s blades are usually not that sharp, they must have been modified. 

You bow to them, a bright smile for the audience. You are good at it, being the pretty girl who does the right thing. «Thank you for your consideration.»

You feel pretty confident in the afternoon, when the team decides to watch the score together. President Snow didn't show up or called, so you can relax for the night. 

You are sure you have a seven. You deserved a solid seven. 

Clark doesn't even talk, you can't understand if he gave up or he is sure he has a massive score. "He doesn't talk because you are the enemy and he doesn't want you to know anything about his strategy", you think. That means he talks with Haymitch, and that gives you a thrill of jealousy. They talk about how Clark will survive, how he will win, and that implies that you die. 

And being selfish and juvenile as much as the kids you babysit for at home, you dress up in a little black cocktail dress that shows your legs and collarbones. You want those secrets. You want your mentor to be utterly seduced. You want him to work only for you. And he was known to be one of the most brilliant men in all of Panem, so he probably will know, but maybe, if you put enough sugar in your words, he will close an eye on that.

«You are so beautiful!» Portia states when she sees you.

«I thought I should be enjoying pretty dresses now that I can.» That is one of the reasons, actually. 

«You look lovely.» Effie adds. 

«Don't wear something like this for the interview.» That's the only thing Haymitch says. «We want you to be a princess.»

You can't help but pout, even if you know he can't comment. He commented before, though. 

You sit on the couch next to him and Portia, while Clark sits by Effie. You cross your legs.

Caesar Flickerman appears on the screen and you suddenly feel nervous, maybe that is why you put such an effort on the dress, because you wanted to keep your mind off the games. You always do that.

The tributes roll on the screen. The careers don't go below 8, Perla has a solid 9 and you smile because she is your ally, Lora has 8, which is very good. It’s fine to have such brave and good allies. And if you are going to get killed, you truly want one of them to win.

It's Clark's turn, everyone is thrilled. Well, apart from you, you don't really care. 

«From District 12 Clark Undersee, with a score of… 9!» 

Everyone applauds. Nine is a great score. «Congratulations.» You say, just to bury the hatchet. He doesn't even answer you. 

«And now our last tribute, from District 12 Daisy Pinecone with a score of… 10!»

Ten. You've got ten. You are so shocked you look at Haymitch to confirm it, and you see he is going to hug you. And then Portia and Effie.

«Ten is great, darling girl!»

«Katniss was just a score above!»

The arena has glass, or snow, or is at least winter themed, you think but then you watch Clark and decide to keep your mouth shut. 

After a while, in which the prim and proper Euphemia Trinket opened a bottle to celebrate, you yawn and you declare you go to sleep with a meaningful glare at your mentor. 

You can count two minutes before he opens your door. 

«What the hell were you thinking?» He snaps angrily but his wide hands are already on your body. 

«Did you like the dress?» You question with an innocent look. He crushes his lips on yours and in a moment you are against the door, not innocent at all. At least you are on your clean perfumed bed this time.

«What did you want?» He almost growls. He is not pleased, but at the same time he is. He just doesn't want you to play with his impulses. Not in front of the team.

«I was nervous about the scores.» You try to explain while he is attacking your neck. If he wants to incanalate his frustration this way you must be sure to make him frustrated every chance you'll have. «I thought of a distraction.»

«Little minx.» He doesn't buy it, and he is right. «Tell me the truth or I’ll go.»

«You wouldn't dare.» 

«Don’t test me, Daisy.» Ok, he calls you Daisy. It’s not right when he calls you Daisy. 

«Ok, I was jealous.» You admit, taking a step back. His eyes grow wide. 

«What? Jealous of who?» 

«Clark.» You hear silence, so you keep going. «He talks with you. About techniques and skills and you will give him sponsors, and he wants to kill me. He really wants to. The minute he will be in the arena he will find me and kill me.»

He chuckles, but he calms down. You sense he is not used to this level of patience. «I'm his mentor too, you know.»

«Yes and that makes me furious! I want you to be just mine.» He can tell you are half joking, so he doesn't get angry. 

«Possessive much?» He hugs you. You really, really like being in his arms, even if it tastes like whisky.  

«Am I your favourite?» You childishly ask.  

«Always. But truth be told he brings me alcohol.»

«I wore that dress. For you!» You gasp and caress his chest and you push him on the mattress. «I know something about the arena.» You whisper. 

«Tell me, sweetheart.»

«You have to promise you won't tell Clark.»

He rolls his eyes and hugs you tighter. «Do you trust me?» You nod. Not completely, but you don't trust anyone completely. «Do you think I would do anything to put you in danger?» You shake your head. «You just have to keep up as much as you can.»

He pinches your lower back. «And please stop this nonsense.»

«The arena has something to do with glass. I skated, there were ice skates. District 12 is full of snow, I might actually stand a chance.»

«I wouldn't indulge myself if you didn't. You will be out of that arena alive.» He takes your hair out of your face. His eyes meet yours in a non-said. It doesn't matter what you said, you can't confess everything to one another. He has his secrets and you have yours, and you don’t know who is going to listen, if the rooms have cameras. But the main reason is that you do that to protect each other. And Effie, Portia and the rest of the team. Not Clark, for your part.

«You indulge yourself because I'm irresistible.» You point out after a minute, your finger tracing a line through his chest. 

He rolls his eyes but a little smile appears on his face. «Humble.»

«Beautiful.» 

«Modest.»

«Stunning.»

«Can't argue with that.» And like that he shuts you up pressing his lips on yours.

[themculibrary]

Bodyguard AU Masterlist

A Political Affair (ao3) - star_after_dark bucky/zemo M, 2k

Summary: The Prime Minister of Sokovia, Helmut Zemo, and his Security Detail, Sergeant James Barnes, have a strictly professional relationship, nothing out of the ordinary

except for when they're behind closed doors.

a questionable client (ao3) - imposterhuman pre bucky/tony T, 6k

Summary: “Pep, Pepper, light of my life,” Bucky heard a voice from where he was standing in the foyer of his client’s frankly obscenely large mansion. “I don't need a bodyguard. Seriously.”

Another voice, who Bucky assumed was Pepper, responded, “Tell that to the seventeen separate death threats last week alone.”

Bucky almost whistled in surprise. He had known Stark was high profile, but seventeen was an awful lot of death threats. He caught himself, though, because he was a professional, thank you very much.

“It’s just hot air,” Stark grumbled. “You know that. I haven’t been kidnapped in months.”

“That shouldn’t be the standard, you idiot."

Blinding Lights (ao3) - NatRogers steve/natasha E, 19k

Summary: One time. One time to satiate the nagging curiosity they shared over what it would feel like to be wrapped in each other's arms. That's what Natasha Romanoff, heiress to the Red Guardian fortune, and her bodyguard, Steve Rogers, had told themselves when they agreed to a tryst in her office late one night. But knowledge, while illuminating, can also be a curse - making wanting the things you can't have all the more appealing.

Bodyguard (ao3) - hazel_lannister steve/tony, past pepper/tony E, 18k

Summary: After an attempted kidnapping, Pepper insists that Tony get better protection. Which is ridiculous because "attempted" is definitely the operative word, and he by no means needs a bodyguard/babysitter. Especially grumpy, stoic Steve with no sense of humor.

Captain Bodyguard (ao3) - darter_blue steve/bucky E, 37k

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been invited as a VIP to visit and present at Stark Expo by the billionaire CEO himself. And when he learns that part of the VIP package is a very attractive, very large bodyguard that may or may not be the spitting image of the man of his dreams, Bucky gets the feeling he's being deliberately blindsided.

But when events turn from dangerous to deadly, Bucky might be glad to have this big, blond, surly bodyguard to hang on to - even if he dresses like a ninety year old man, speaks like he stepped out of an old movie, and somehow appears to be… bulletproof?

Close Protection (ao3) - imnotbuck, TrishArgh steve/bucky E, 28k

Summary: After getting into one too many fights, Instagram sweetheart and adopted son of the Stark family Steve Rogers-Stark is given a bodyguard much to his displeasure. His bodyguard is unlike any other and Steve is determined to know what makes him tick.

falling in love with you (a process, layered, repeated) (ao3) - holistic_alcoholic bucky/tony T, 12k

Summary: After the threat of a stalker becomes more pronounced, Bucky's bodyguard job changes from part-time to full-time. The relationship he has with his client isn't a factor in this, not at all.

Bucky wouldn’t say that falling in love was one moment for him, one epiphany. It wasn’t an action, easily tracked, wasn’t anchored in time.

It was a process, layered, repeated; every second of time, spent together, every moment was a part of it.

Guardian Angel (ao3) - flyingorfalling pepper/tony G, 3k

Summary: Pepper Potts is assigned to protect Tony Collins, Howard Stark's illegitimate son. Tony has become the target of Amon Stark, his older half brother, who allegedly murdered his father to get millions in inheritance.

Knock Down The Hinges (ao3) - BurdenedWithPointlessPurpose kate/yelena E, 3k

Summary: In the beginning pissed off was an understatement. A drastic one. How else was Kate supposed to feel being assigned a bodyguard? Unfortunately for her mom, Yelena keeping her out of trouble doesn’t exactly pan out the way she had planned.

NFWMB (ao3) - grimeysociety darcy/steve E, 58k

Summary: At the beginning of another world tour, popstar Darcy Lewis gets a new bodyguard, Steve Rogers.

Old Endings, New Beginnings (ao3) - through_shadows_falling bucky/tony T, 1k

Summary: James was an excellent bodyguard—silent and looming, with a blank face but a focused gaze. He was an ever present shadow at Tony’s back through board meetings and charity events and even nights on the town, and no matter how many questions Tony asked him, his answers were always clipped and business-like.

That was a good quality in a bodyguard, but it made Tony want to unravel him from the inside out.

On One Condition (ao3) - elwenyere steve/tony T, 7k

Summary: When someone calls in a hit on billionaire Tony Stark, Steve Rogers is assigned to protect him.

Safest in His Hands (ao3) - iam93percentstardust bucky/tony T, 16k

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been Tony Stark's personal bodyguard for the last three years and hopelessly pining for him for almost as long. After Tony's unknown stalker takes it too far, however, Bucky is moved from the role of bodyguard to fake boyfriend to make sure Tony is kept safe at all times. It's the chance of a lifetime, a chance to prove to Tony just how good they'd be for each other, but one misstep and it isn't just Bucky's heart that's on the line, but his life - and Tony's too.

Something More to Protect (ao3) - Artemis_Egeria wanda/vision T, 6k

Summary: Wanda Maximoff has been protecting presidential candidate Steve Rogers for over two years. She is less than pleased when Steve's friend Tony Stark recommends an addition to Steve's security team. Time will change her mind.

The Bodyguard (ao3) - NachoDiablo sam/steve T, 1k

Summary: Singer Sam's always got bodyguard Steve on his left.

the bodyguard (ao3) - starkly tony/thor G, 1k

Summary: Tony’s not used to people trying to kill him. Yeah, he’s a celebrity, but he’s a movie star. He doesn’t do the kinds of things that normally get people killed, even when he ends up starring in a fantastically bad film. And he’d always thought having a bodyguard in his line of work was kind of cheesy, but there’s a first time for everything.

The Distance Between (You and Me) (ao3) - Sarah_Sandwich peter/harley T, 29k

Summary: When Pepper offered to begin training him to become CEO of Stark Industries, she warned Harley it would put a target on his back. He didn't take her seriously until after he'd been left chained and shivering in a dark hole for three days.

Rescued but with his kidnappers still at large, Tony recruits a bodyguard to shadow his every step and keep him safe until Tasha can hunt down his kidnappers. Harley isn't impressed. If he wasn't already at his wit's end muscling through nightmares, dissociative episodes, and pretending like he's handling everything like a champ then maybe he'd be able to figure out what exactly makes Peter Parker so special.

The Hardest Cut (ao3) - chamel loki/mobius T, 13k

Summary: “I’m Loki. I’ll be your new personal detail.”

Mobius figured as much, but it would have been nice to get some advance warning. Also: “Are you eating my toast?”

Loki looks down at the toast in his hand. “Guess so,” he answers nonchalantly before looking up at Mobius again. “I made coffee.”

(Preeminent author and criminal psychologist Dr. Mobius M. Mobius is a key witness in the trial of the century, which has put a substantial price on his head. When he ends up assigned a devastatingly attractive and fascinating personal bodyguard, he finds himself desperately trying to juggle his work, his growing and inconvenient feelings, and oh yeah, all those attempts on his life.)

the only ghost that matters (ao3) - cm (mumblemutter) sam/bucky, steve/sam M, 60k

Summary: Or: The one where Sam is Steve's widow (it is widower apparently!), and Bucky ends up as his mysterious, brooding bodyguard.

Up For Debate (ao3) - CapandCarter steve/peggy M, 46k

Summary: After a run in with Aim Agents who want her secret project, Howard hires bodyguards to ensure she stays safe.

But one of them, a rather grumpy individual, reminds her of a face from her past.

[calliethetrekkie]

Star Trek TOS S01E17: Shore Leave

Original Thoughts

"…okay I knew from fandom osmosis that ST got weird at times, especially in Season 3… but WHAT DID I JUST WATCH?! That was… weird. Not necessarily bad, but weeeeird. I guess it was an attempt to be more comedic and considering that they look like they filmed in a park, save budget. I really can’t give an opinion on this one because I honestly cannot figure out what my opinion is for this one. It’s bizarre but harmless and I’m having a hard time deciding if I liked it or not. Spock more or less tricking Kirk into shore leave was funny though and the idea of a planet that essentially creates your daydreams is interesting, haha. The fist-fight at the end was also fun, so there are some enjoyable aspects if the bizarreness turns you off."

Rewatch Thoughts

Why was past me so anti-fun?! This episode is great!

Ah man, where do I even begin with this one? This episode is ridiculous and cheap... and I love it! You can tell that they filmed most of this in some local park and outright stuck someone in a cheap bunny costume. Yet it doesn't distract from the experience at all, if anything it adds to the bizarreness of it all. It's a chance to let everyone be stupid for a little while and sometimes you need those kinds of episodes. You need to be silly and fun and let the audience have fun too. I kind of feel like we've forgotten that as of late and it needs to change.

As I have gone in production order for this watch, I think that this was well-timed for me. We've had several serious, dramatic episodes in a row such as Conscience of the King, Galileo Seven, and two court martial episodes (well three since The Menagerie is a two-parter). I was kind of glad to get back around to this one when I did. The rabbit, Finnegan, and all the other crazy illusions that pop up make the episode pure chaos. And to think all of this could have been avoided if the planet inhabitants had just left a freakin' sign up or something.

Kirk is an absolute delight here. The guy is stressed and overworked, all of which he brought onto himself but doesn't want a break. Why? Because the Enterprise is full of workaholics. The scene where Spock tricks Kirk into ordering himself to take Shore Leave is one of the freakin' greatest Trek scenes ever. There is NO WAY that I can ever be convinced that Spock and McCoy did NOT plan on pulling this stunt. McCoy knows that Kirk is a stubborn ass and likely wouldn't listen to him, so giving Spock his log entry and Spock baiting Kirk into giving himself the order? Perfection.

Not that Kirk gets a relaxing time... well for the most part. The guy gets annoyed by an old Academy bully (twice), his best friend gets 'killed', and one bad illusion pops up after the other. Even when he's on break he can't catch a break. At least he gets to imagine an old crush of his cause he gets distracted by flowers? Hooray? Okay, that was kinda cute how he was all 'where the Hell is Sulu... oh hey, a flower!'. Never change Jim. Plus he gets to beat the shit out of Finnegan and get his shirt ripped... again. IDK why he even bothers with a shirt, it's just gonna get ripped to shreds.

Though as much as I love Jim here, McCoy is the highlight for me. Yes I realize that this being me that's not saying much, but every scene of his is pure gold. There's the whole Alice in Wonderland scene, then him calling Jim to tell him that he's possibly lost his mind ever so calmly. His flirting with Barrows is cute as is him encouraging her to play princess if she wants to. IDK, he's just kind of endearingly adorable in this one? Mind you he also seemed to have forgotten his brain cells considering he decided to not get out of the way of the knight and got stabbed for his troubles. I blame the rabbit, it broke his brain. But yeah he's so lucky the caretaker managed to fix him. Look, we often see McCoy all grumpy and dealing with everyone's problems, seeing him all relaxed is a nice change of pace!

Not much to say about Spock outside the 'trick Kirk into Shore Leave' scene. I kind of wish we had Jim and Bones yank him into it with them cause Vulcan or not he needs to have at least one. But I supposed that wasn't meant to be. I almost feel like he could have been kept on the ship the whole episode and it wouldn't have really hanged much, but I guess since Nimoy has a Starring credit and is the popular one they gotta include him. Also at the end when the Chorus Girl goes up to him and he seems to have no idea how to react, poor guy. No wonder he prefers to stay on the ship XD

There are so many good moments. Sulu and his glee for guns, Barrows in the princess dress, McCoy and Barrows flirting, it's 40 minutes of ridiculousness and I love it. It's nice to see these characters able to let loose and have fun since thus far it's not a side we've gotten to see much of... well at least by choice. We even got a bit of a feelsy scene when McCoy got 'killed'. Kirk looks like he's on the verge of crying and sounds about ready to beat the shit out of the caretaker until McCoy pops back up alive and well. Even Spock is at a loss and this is around the time that their relationship becomes more argumentative. But that scene aside it's a fun episode.

So a planet where whatever you think of can be created... why did anyone think that this was a good idea? Why did no one think of having a sign or a greeter or something to inform anyone who showed up how the planet worked? Why did they wait so long to clear everything up? Did no one think 'hey maybe this is a bad idea since someone could think up so and so and get someone hurt or worst'. IDC if they have machines that can bring someone back from the verge of death, that won't do shit if someone is legit dead (I refuse to believe that McCoy was dead-dead, none of these people checked his pulse properly and I'll die on that hill.). I have SO many questions on why NO ONE thought through any of this. Maybe the Enterprise crew ended up being the trial run... that's not a bad theory actually. That is now my headcanon!

Not sure if Kirk letting everyone go on the planet was a wise move at the end, but ah well. He gets to have his time with his old crush and actually gets the break that Spock and McCoy wanted him to take. Kind of nice to see him all relaxed considering how tense he was at the start. OH the massage scene! How could I forget the massage scene at the start? Now most everyone knows I'm not a Spirk shipper... but that scene and a few during the climax sure have plenty fo context even I can't ignore haha.

Wow, kind of surprised I managed to make the review this long. I figured I wouldn't have a lot to talk about given the nature of the episode... and I was wrong. But this episode is plain fun. The first time I watched it, I think that I was so taken aback despite knowing that this was one of the weirder episodes that I was unsure of how to feel. Three years later, I can now safely say that it was a delight! The characters are fantastic, the plot is chaotic in the best way, and the cheapness only adds to the fun. You don't always need fancy sets or a million-dollar budget to make a good episode, and this is a really good example of saving on budget but still making something enjoyable. It's not my favorite cause I like me my feelsy plots, but I still had a fun time revisiting this. I highly recommend this one especially if you need something to lift your spirits, it sure lifted mine~

Original Rating: 2.5/5 Rewatch Rating: 7/10

[My TOS Reviews]

[TOS S1 Reviews]

[Previous Review] / [Next Review]

[vdlest]

Onto It

Characters:

TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Summary:

Bucky and Sam are both in New York to finish their mission with the power broker, turns out to be Sharon Carter. The latter is not just the villain in this story, but you once got jealous of her as well when she tried to seduce your man.

Warning:

Swearing

Jealousy

Mention of Smut

"You know you could just call Bucky instead of being a grumpy old lady in here," Wanda pointed out as you accidentally dropped your pen for fifth time.

You and Wanda are doing some mission report in the house that you share together, the reports that you and Wanda are reading and discussing has something to do with the mission two had last week. But your mind is not completely concentrated to whatever the report says. Your mind is in New York, thinking of your man, Bucky Barnes.

"Come on, y/n," Wanda handed you your phone, "Just call him already. I know you're worried about the fact that he and Sam is there in New York to deal with the Sharon Carter," she raised her two hands to make air-quotation-marks upon mentioning Sharon's name.

You used to have no problem with Sharon, you actually wanted her to and Steve to enjoy each other's company before. But that was before. Before that witch became a villain in your lives. All along she is the power broker and she made a fool out of you all. Not just that, she even tried to seduce Bucky because she wanted to cover up her real identity. She put a substance on Bucky's drink to drug him and make it look like something happened to them, but before she could pull off her plan, you and Sam were able to stop her, however she escaped.

"Sam and Bucky are in New York to take that woman down, so I shouldn't feel worried about it anymore," you confidently said, realizing that Bucky promised that there's only woman in his life and that's you.

The two of you started dating a year ago now, but both of you just want to keep it unlabeled for now. But you won't deny the fact that you have been wanting to take it to the next level. There were times when you would ask yourself what is your right to get jealous if there's someone trying to steal your man, he's not even yours to begin with.

"Aren't you guys getting tired of the unlabeled thingy?" Wanda asked you as he closes the folder she's holding, "I mean, no offense, okay? But you clearly like each other. You guys have been dating for a year now and don't you think it's a bit unfair on your part?"

"Unfair, why?" you questioned her. "Wanda, it is also my choice to put it this way. We don't want to rush things about us," you explained.

"Yeah, I know that you guys are confident with your relationship as exclusively dating, but it's better to put label in it. Trust me, you should do it while you still can," she reached for you hand and gave it a squeeze as she smiles at you, "Vis and I didn't have much time. So you and Bucky should make it lasts while you can."

You can sense pain in Wanda's voice. It must've really hard for her to move on and accept her and Vision's fate. If you were in her place, you don't know what will make you stay in your sanity.

Wanda has always been a good friend to you. She has always give you advices and her presence in your life makes you understand the things you were having a hard time understanding, like love itself.

"Do you want some coffee?" Wanda asked you as she stood up from her seat, "I'll probably order some food as well, I'm starving."

Just when Wanda's about to leave to order food and coffee, your phone rang.

B U C K Y calling...

"Seems like your guy cannot live in a day without hearing your voice," Wanda teased before she made her way out, leaving you alone inside the family room.

You grabbed your phone and answered the call of your unofficial boyfriend.

"Hey, I've been texting you, but you're not replying. Are you okay?" he asked as soon as you accepted his call.

"Oh, yeah," you saw the multiple messages that came from him, but you weren't able to see it because you were too preoccupied with the reports and the fact that Sharon Carter is bugging your mind, "Sorry, just got a little mixed up with the mission reports. Wanda and I have been reading it for almost 2 hours."

First of all, you did not want to tell him about your issue with Sharon Carter, although he's already aware of it and he knows already that you got jealous and really angry of her for what happened. Second, you did not want him to feel like you don't trust him.

"How's the mission?" you asked him, changing the topic.

"Well, we finally caught Sharon red-handed. She's in custody right now and the investigation about her will start first thing in the morning tomorrow," he said. Even though they've already taken Sharon down, he and Sam have to stay in New York for a few more days since they have to stay for the investigation, "You, alright?"

You hate it when he knows something's wrong with you or something's bothering your mind. He can already sense it just by the way you breath or speak.

"You know that I know you already, right? So, tell me, what's bothering you?" he questions.

The sigh you let out confirmed his hunch, you're not gonna get away with it anyway so you might as well fire with it. You've always been so honest with him anyway.

"I'm just not so comfortable with the fact that Sharon Carter witch, God, I hope Agent Peggy Carter will forgive me for telling bad words about her niece," you heard him chuckle in the other end. "But God, I can't just forget what she did to you, what she almost did to you."

"You mean when she almost raped me?" he joked.

"Look, Bucky, it's not really funny, okay?" you groaned as you hear him chuckle again on the other line.

"I get it, y/n. Okay? I get it. You have to stop worrying about it, okay? It won't happen ever again. Besides, after this mission, I won't be involved in anything about Sharon anymore. And I also want to take you out again, something that I haven't done for a while now," he reassured you.

It's true that two of you haven't gone on a date for quite some time, as both of you got busy with different things, especially in saving the world and humankind. But it's not really something that bothers you. He still makes you feel special in different ways.

"Buck," you remembered what Wanda advised you and you know you had to open it up to Bucky as soon as you could, "Can we also talk about us when you get back?" you hesitantly asked.

"What do you mean talk about us?" he sounded worried. You closed your eyes as you asked yourself if you did the right thing of opening it up to him this early, "Y/n, do you want us to stop? 'Cause if you do, you can just tell me now."

"Bucky, no," you answered immediately. God knows that's the very last thing you want to happen. You didn't want to lose him. "I just...I...I am...fuck!" you swore, you don't know how to tell him about it.

"Y/n, what's happening? Just tell me so we could do something about it."

You sighed as you prepare yourself to tell everything to him, "I know I was the one who told you and suggested that we should just do the unlabeled relationship because it's much easier that way, and it really was. We did not feel any pressure. We did not feel we have to rush or something, but I just got tired of it. I got tired of it the moment Sharon asked me a few months ago when the incident happened that what is my right to get jealous, to get mad, we're not even in a relationship. It hit me. That question fucking hit me. And here's Wanda telling me how we should make everything last while we can and I feel so guilty that we're taking our time for granted knowing that she and Vision did not get to their happy ending." You took a deep breath and closes your eyes for a second, "I didn't mean to pressure you or anything Bucky, I really don't. I just don't want to take what we have for granted."

After you let your feelings out, it took a few seconds before Bucky could finally answer you. His silence made you nervous but the moment you heard him chuckle, you felt a little relief.

"You're right, we should talk about us when I get back. I should put label to our relationship and I shouldn't make you feel that we're nothing, because you really mean the world to me, y/n. And it's about time we put this whole thing we have in the right pedestal," his words made you ease the embarassment and the awkwardness you're feeling. "Just stop thinking about Sharon, okay? I don't give a damn about her. The whole time I'm away from you all I think is how I would kiss your lips and every inch of your body."

You laughed by the fact that he's thinking of making love to you while he shove off the idea of Sharon Carter or any woman in his life, because there's only one woman in his life and that's you.

"You know I like it when I see you so possessive of me, makes me so eager to fuck you until you realized that you're the only woman I give a fuck," you could clearly hear him he was whispering.

You went out of the family room and went up to your room, giving you more privacy since the man you're talking to right now is starting to propose phone sex.

"Is it just me or you're whispering?" you innocently asked.

"Well, I'm not now. I just got inside my car so," he paused for a moment, "So prepare yourself 'cause I'll make you so wet that you'll wish I'm beside you tonight to attend to your needs."

"You wish," you teased him. "Come home first and I'll cum for you, you tease."

He chuckled, "I'm onto it, sweetheart. I'll ask Sam if I could leave early."

"And what excuse will you tell him?" you asked.

"I'll tell him that I need to make Y/N Y/L/N officially mine, officially my girlfriend. I'll also tell him that there's someone I need to help with her sexual needs," he's joking on the last part but his first sentence made your heart shiver and so excited at the same time.

"That's exciting, and tempting," you teased him back. "Why don't you start pumping your cock and imagine that I'm doing it for you? While I lay here in my bed, thinking of your vibranium fingers making me whimper and moan your fucking name?"

"You're killing me," he groaned and that gave you the sign that he's already pumping himself. "Remind me to punish you for teasing me like this when I get back."

Wanda is right. You should never waste the time you and Bucky have. You should never take anything for granted. Bucky told you that you mean the world to him, and he makes you feel that way, not just sexually, but in romantic way. He would swept you off of your feet. He would do anything for you. That is why if there's someone who'll ask you who are you in James Buchanan Barnes' life, you would just simply answer that you're the love of his life. Too proud to claim it but that's the truth.

No woman can ever make you feel threatened of her anymore, as Bucky claim you his and you claim him as yours day by day, night by night.

-v.dl

[oswald-privileges]

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 18- Therapy

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n finds herself a new house and Misha is determined to make it a huge project.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2993

Story Warnings: past cheating, mentions of FFM threesome, not much in this one

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s pretty, right?” I ask, looking around the open concept of the first floor of this $350,000 house.

“Kitchen’s kinda outdated,” Jensen says, pointing at the fridge. “I mean, that fridge has gotta be from when you were in high school.”

“I could buy new appliances, Jay. Get a natural gas stove set up. Install some cabinet pulls, because I’m not a really big fan of this whole lack of elements.” I gesture at the cabinets. “Probably stain it a little darker to go against the flooring. But it’s pretty, right?”

Jay smiles. “Yeah. It’s pretty...and it’s about twice as big as the one you’ve been living in. Which is what you need.”

“Yeah. Walk-in closet in the master, too. It’ll be a good place to put the security hub.”

“Or you could put the security hub in the closet in the den and put your clothes in the master closet,” Jay suggests, grumpy old man in his tone. "And if you're gonna update the kitchen, you gotta update the bathrooms. Get one of those-"

"I am not getting an automatic toilet!" I laugh. "No one needs that!"

"Of course no one needs it but it's freakin' awesome!"

"Okay, Dean," I tease.

"Dean would agree with me. Automatic toilet, with the bidet and the-"

"Dean Winchester would break an automatic toilet and then complain that it's a damn computer which means he can't fix it without help."

Jay laughs. "He'd still think it was cool."

"He'd be down for the heated seat. I will give you that much."

He smiles as he looks around. "So...are we looking at your new digs or what?"

I bite my bottom lip and run my hand over the granite countertop. “Shouldn’t I ask Nova's opinion? It's gonna be her home, too."

"She's a teenager. As long as she's got her own room, I'm sure she's gonna be fine." He sets his hands on my shoulders and smiles. "But you can show her pictures or bring her by before you sit down with the realtor."

I nod and smile. "It's in the right school district and a bigger room for her and for Mav and the bonus room can be an office. I really think it's the place."

"Then get it," he encourages. "Get it, Baby Girl. We can make it perfect. I'm no stranger to a little reno."

"Please," I start, laughing. "A contractor did the work on your old place. Shush."

He looks a little offended. "I helped. I painted. I installed the sink in the half bath off the kitchen."

"Fine. You can stain these cabinets for me." I wink and step away from him. I'm gonna get this house. "Come on." I walk to the foyer where the realtor is waiting and I smile at him. "Can I put in an offer now or should I wait a few hours?" He smiles brighter than the sun.

"You can make an offer anytime, Miss."

Miss. Still young enough to get 'miss'. "Good. Let's do this."

~~~~~~~~~

"Four bedroom, 2 and a half bath, 3200 square feet with an office next to the master bed. It needs some updating and work...had a contractor quote me $60,000 but that's not bad...covers new appliances, too."

"I could come down and help," Misha offers. "You know, a lot of that stuff you can DIY and I can help with most of it."

"You don't have to do that, Meesh."

"Why would I let you spend that much money on something I could help you with for a fraction of the cost?"

"Misha, you really don’t-"

"I'm not letting you tell me 'no' on this. We'll get together some manpower and get this done for you."

He's really not going to let me say 'no'. "Okay. Well, it's going to be several weeks before the paperwork is finished and all that. I'll let you know when it's mine."

"Good. I'll start looking at HGTV.com." Damn it, Misha. Don't be so extra. "And send me pictures and a floorplan so I know what I'm working with."

"Yeah, okay." Really no point in arguing. It's Misha. If I don't send him pics and a copy of the floorplan, he'll just find the house and get them himself off the internet. "I'll send it to you after my appointment tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good. Talk to you then."

"Bye, Meesh." I hang up and sigh. He's gonna make it this whole thing, isn't he?

His house in Washington did come out amazing, though, so he does have some skills that will help in this. Eh, why not? Why not get together with my best friend and make my new home my own?

"So, I get to see this house eventually, right?" Nova says, walking into the living room.

I smile. "Come see all these pretty pictures I took and we can speculate on what craziness Misha is gonna come up with." I pat the couch next to me and she comes over. "This is the view from the street." I start showing her the pictures and she claims a room before I've even finished the digital tour.

"Oh, and you're gonna paint the exterior, right? Like, it's pretty but it's yellow. You're gonna fix that, right?"

"Oh, I'm sure Misha isn't going to let me move into another drab house. You weren’t here the first time he showed up at this house but he had opinions about all of it. I didn't let him talk me into reno last time but this time...I don’t know...maybe this will be the forever home so…"

"It's gotta be custom!" Nova exclaims.

"Exactly."

"Can I paint my walls custom? Or get custom wallpaper done? I know that a lot of people don't like wallpaper but I've seen a few places that got it right and-"

"Yeah, baby, of course. We'll figure out something awesome for your walls." I kiss her forehead. We'll do whatever she wants for her room.

"Yay!"

I love when she's happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while since I've been in Dr. McCauliffe's office. Life has been in the way...and I guess I didn’t want her to judge me for my involvement with Jensen...which is ridiculous because she's my therapist. She's not going to judge me.

"So." She taps her pen against her clipboard. "What's new?"

"Well...I have been dating Jensen again. I know you saw that in the news."

"I saw it on Mr. Collins' Instagram, actually," she says with a smile.

"Right. The video. Forgot about it for a minute. Um, yeah, like I said in the video and Jensen said in his...spark's still there, we're giving it another chance."

"How's that feel?"

I bite my bottom lip. "Scary as Hell, honestly. I mean, but it's good. I've done pretty good with boundaries and moving slowly. You know, before...we jumped in head first and everything was this intense passion right out of the gate but this time…" I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe we've grown up, or grown old, but…"

"Have you slept with him?" she asks and it's because she knows that sex was a big issue when I was with him before. Sex was all we were supposed to be in the beginning and sex ruined us in the end. I know why she's asking but there's this...well, it's a bit intrusive, isn't it? It seems like she's judging me for being sexually active and I know that's not what it is but my whole spine goes tense when she asks.

"Yes. We dated for about a month before we started getting physical again."

“And how has that been? I don’t need details, of course, but...emotionally, how has it been to be intimate with Jensen again?”

How to answer that?

Really, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s the best sex I’ve ever had, emotionally fullfilling in a romance-novel sort of way. It’s perfect but it does have its scary moments. “Well, we’ve only actually...slept together a couple times this time. His libido is a lot less than it was. I mean, he didn’t have sex the entire time we were broken up, can you believe that?”

Dr. McCauliffe adjusts her glasses and shrugs a little. “I do not. Five years is a long time to go without sex...but you seem to believe it. That’s what matters.”

I never even questioned it. Should I have? No, because he’s been so honest about everything else. “I went years and years without sex after Nate. I believe Jensen did the same after me. He had a lot going on. He was in recovery for alcoholism. He had to be a good father and work on his career and-”

“You just got very defensive, very quickly. Why is that?”

Fuck, I don’t know. I run my hand over my mouth and shrug. “I don’t know,” I respond honestly.

“Analyze it, Y/n. Why would you get so defensive over my disbelief in what Jensen told you?”

“Because I didn’t question it,” I answer after a moment. “Because he told me that the last time he had sex, real full-penetrative sex, was the time that broke us and I didn’t really question it. I took it at face value because we’ve been doing very good about honesty with each other and what if that’s stupid? What if I’m stupid because maybe he’s lying about it and keeping stuff from me and-”

“You said he’s been very good about honesty so far, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. He’s...he admitted to stuff that I never thought he’d admit to and he apologized for stuff and he’s been open about what happened and why. He’s even been honest about little things that he would have lied about before...like I told him about Will and he Googled him. Used to be, he’d keep that kind of thing to himself, never tell me, but he admitted it without even prompting.” I chew on my bottom lip as she starts scribbling on her notes. “I believe him. It might be stupid but I believe him.”

She sets her clipboard in her lap and smiles at me. “It’s not stupid...and he’s likely changed enough that honesty is important to him. You’ve told me that his recovery has changed him. Jared’s told me the same. Now, it’s a bit hard for me to believe that he’s changed so much in the last five years that he would have abstained from sex since the last time he was with you, but...I don’t know the man, do I? You do. Jared does. If you believe him, then don’t let me change your mind.”

“I believe him. You didn’t see the way he looked at me the first time we...‘Reverent’ is the best word for it.”

“What do you think that means for you?”

I scoot back, leaning against the back of the couch. “I think he’s finally got Danneel out of his head.”

“Do you?” she asks and I hate when she asks things I don’t want to answer. “Danneel was a major roadblock in your relationship before, wasn’t she?”

“You know she was. I was so focused on giving Jensen what he wanted...Danneel...that I couldn’t see that I was what he was supposed to be wanting. I wanted to be like her, couldn’t appreciate myself. I know this stuff, Doctor.” I shift on the couch and sigh. “I don’t wanna be Danneel and I don’t want Jensen to be with her. I want Jensen to be with me...I want him to want to be with only me.” I shrug. “Seems like that’s where we are. He doesn’t even talk to her anymore. I talked to her the other day and she didn’t even know why he doesn’t talk to her anymore.”

“You talked to Danneel again?”

“Yeah. We ran into each other at a shop while I was getting Nova a new dress. It...didn’t go well. Nova was very combative with Danneel. I ended up having to...be very honest with my daughter. She knows about everything now...even the night with Danneel.”

“Oh? How’d that talk go?”

“It was...it was good to get it off my chest, actually. It was like the conversation where I told her about, about why her father and I got divorced. It’s like...It was a hard conversation but it was an important one. I don’t have to...hide things anymore and that’s a blessing. She understands why I make the decisions I make now...she understands...the betrayal was a lot deeper than she even knew. She understands that now and...maybe it’ll make us closer, but at least she knows the truth now.”

“And she’s living with you now, right?” I nod. “How did that happen? Nathan doesn’t seem the type to just allow her to do what she wants.”

I snort. “He’s definitely not, but...he fucked up with Jenny, blew up his marriage. I’m actually surprised it took her this long to realize that he was cheating on her, but whatever. Um...Nova didn’t want to be there for the destruction of his way of life and she asked if she could come to Texas. I convinced him to let her come because she didn’t need to see the parade of his affairs that Jenny would bring up. I then used those women to convince him not to fight me on custody when I refiled. It was…” I scratch at my cheek. “It was a low move, but it’s exactly the kind of move he pulled on me, convincing the judge that I was too unstable to care for her. I don’t feel bad about it, especially since she wants to be here.”

“That’s a big change...on top of other big changes.”

“Yep...and there’s more coming. Because I need more room since Nova is living with me, there will be a new home in my future."

"A new home? That's exciting."

"It is. And I am more excited about it than I am scared so that says something."

"I remember how anxious you were about your first house. I remember all the security options you went through."

"Well, security had to be heavy. I had to think about Tom and his crazy-ass fans and the crazier of Jensen’s fans and the paps. There was that one photographer in Vancouver that climbed the balcony outside the condo to get pics of me and Jay, remember?" I shiver at the memory of looking out the French doors to see a man with his camera, snapping away. So intrusive. "I'm gonna have to put up a privacy fence and a coded gate at the new place, too...and, of course, all the security cameras."

"Sounds like a big project."

"Yeah. Definitely. Not even half of it, though. Misha wants to DIY everything."

"Misha isn't your husband, Y/n," Dr. McCauliffe reminds me and I laugh.

"I think he forgets that sometimes. But there's not a lot of use in arguing with him. He's...well, he's right a lot. Like, most of the time, I mean. So, I always cave to him."

"Do you want to do a big DIY project at this new house?"

"Not at first, I didn't but...I dunno. Might be fun. I've never gotten to do that kind of project and knowing Misha, he's gonna make it fun even if it is hard work."

"Well, as long as you can maintain your work as well as this project. How is that coming along?"

"Really good, actually. We started shooting not too long ago...and I hadn't even considered that this project might be detrimental to Midsummer. I'll have to make sure that Misha knows that Midsummer comes first."

"Well, it seems like you've got things under control."

"Yeah? I was afraid you'd tell me I was...going too fast or…"

"Do you think that? You were telling me that you'd done well with boundaries and keeping things-"

"Well, I have! I mean, Jensen was talking about moving in together already and I shut that down and decided to get a bigger place...my own bigger place."

"Jensen wanted to move in with you?" She writes down something on her notes. "And you said 'no'?"

"I said 'no'," I confirm. "I was really proud of myself, Doc. Nova was proud of me, too, actually. Which was...it was interesting and new. I don’t know that she's ever been proud of me for anything and I know that it's supposed to be the other way, where I'm proud of her and I am, of course but Nova being proud of me setting these boundaries and sticking to them...it gives me hope that she'll be able to do the same in her own life, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with feeling happy that you made your daughter proud and there's nothing wrong with hoping she's going to make different mistakes than you. She's going to do well in life if you keep making the best choices for the both of you." She sets her clipboard on her desk and smiles. "I'm proud of you, too, by the way. Six years ago, you would have jumped at living with Jensen."

"Six years ago, I did."

We finish out our session with a promise to not go so long without seeing her next time. "Mental health is about the maintenance," she reminds me as she opens her office door and walks me to the reception desk. I agree and set an appointment for six weeks out. I call Misha as I start my car, intending to tell him that Midsummer comes before the house project. I haven't even gotten a 'hello' out of my mouth when he speaks.

"I saw the pictures you sent. I have so many ideas!"

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[alirhi]

This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

[margarethelstone-2]

if I loved you less (i might talk about it more)

requested by one and only @nerdypanda3126. thanks so much!

Read on AO3!

"Taichi... You still like me, don't you?"

The young man in question raised his eyes from the book he'd been trying to read for the past quarter, and fixed them on Chihaya, confused. It wasn't just the question that surprised him, even though its content sure would have been enough to puzzle a better prepared soul.

The fact that Chihaya had barely spoken at all for most of their time together today was the main reason why he felt startled by her words now.

She really had been quiet for most of the day, even though they were spending it at his place, determined, as she herself had claimed, not to get in the way of his studies. Taichi had tried to make her realise that it wasn't what he wanted at all, that the very reason he'd invited her over was to get a break from all the reading and just relax a little. He'd explained over and over again that he needed her to be a distraction; tried – unsuccessfully – to get it into her head that she was actually doing him a favour. He knew how much of a workaholic he could be and so he specifically planned the visit as a means to enforce the necessary break he might not have taken otherwise.

He had told her all of that. And yet, she'd remained quiet.

All the way until now, that is.

And just what on earth was she going on about?

"What's with that question? You know the answer to that," he replied casually, almost dismissively, before going back to the textbook in his hand. He really had no idea what had gotten into her all of the sudden, but then again, he didn't care to delve on the subject. He knew she'd tell him anyway.

"I was just wondering," she answered, a trace of hurt ringing in her voice; Taichi needed to hold back the smile that sprang on his lips at the sight of her pout. "Is it so bad if I do?"

Taichi hummed in thought.

"Is that why you've been so quiet all day?" he asked right after. "You've been just busy considering my possible affection for you?"

"Stop with the mockery. I'm thinking of it seriously."

"Oh? And what conclusions did you come to?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I'd come to any."

He had no choice but to close the book and put it away after a statement he'd just heard. Not that he minded. Throwing it on the floor rather carelessly, he sat up straight in his corner of the couch and, resting his chin on his palm, he fixed his gaze on the girl seated by his desk on the other side of the room.

She really was being impossible today.

Well, he supposed that wasn't anything new. He'd known Chihaya long and well enough to not be fazed by the swings in her mood or the inane schemes she so often came up with. He had learnt to expect the unexpected, every day, every hour of his otherwise boring life, because that was obviously the only way to keep up with her. The one thing he had to keep doing if he still wanted to be a part of her life.

Because that was how Ayase Chihaya was.

Chihaya. His best friend. His fiercest karuta rival. The girl he'd been in love with since fourth grade of primary school and the girl who'd rejected him straightforwardly at the very beginning of their third year in Mizusawa High. The girl whom he'd thought he could never win over, on whom he'd given up again and again, fooling himself he could move on and blight the love he'd had for her since he'd been a ten year old squirt.

He sighed and shook his head, remembering her question from a moment before.

She knew damn well he was still head over heels for her.

She was his girlfriend, for sanity's sake.

"I can't believe you actually have asked, you know," he picked up with the same fake weariness he'd shown before, if only to cover his growing amusement. Seeing her very real anxiety made him assume a more solemn expression, as he asked, "Seriously, what brought this on? Are you mad about something?"

"I'm not mad," she disagreed instantly, and with good emphasis.

"Are you unhappy then? Did I do something to make you feel like that?"

Again, she denied. Now she just looked sad. "That's not it."

Wrong. She was flustered.

"Then what is it?" Taichi asked, as gently and warmly as he could. Not for the first time, he felt grateful for all the hard training his patience had received. It was obvious that Chihaya needed that from him now. "It's not like I could get over you like this, you of all people should be aware of that. You're the most important person in my life. The best companion I could think of. You know I get lonely and grumpy when I can't see you, and you know I still get absurdly jealous, even though I hate being so. And so I can't help but think there's something else I'm not doing right."

Taichi stopped there, waiting for her to, if not answer his question, then to contradict him in one way or another, at least. After all, he really was at a loss.

He thought he'd been doing a fairly good job as a boyfriend, when all was said and done. He'd already shared Chihaya's most important interest and it wasn't difficult to at least understand the new ones she'd found. He made sure to be there for her when she needed him, and tried his best to give her space when she needed that more. True, he'd had some trouble coming for help on his part, but even that was a thing of a past rather than present – certainly not something that could shock Chihaya into thinking like this.

He would think that the all-day-long date he'd come up with and seen through in celebration of their first anniversary as a couple last week was a good show of how much he still cared.

He wasn't perfect. Neither was she. But never in his life would he have thought that he'd failed to get his feelings across.

"Chihaya," he prompted once more, his voice audibly quieter. "Please tell me what it is. I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken."

She looked up from the floor she'd been glaring at for a while and met his gaze, a shadow of unease still clouding her big brown eyes. She opened her mouth to answer; she closed it instantly and looked away again, abashed. There was a hint of pink on her cheeks, and it only grew darker as the time passed, though whether it was because of embarrassment or something more alarming, Taichi couldn't tell yet.

"Chihaya–"

"It's because you never say it."

He supposed his eyes opened wider than ever, what's with the utter astonishment he felt growing inside him immediately. For a few moments, he could do nothing but stare, the craziness of the situation overwhelming enough to successfully prevent him from forming a sensible thought, and much less coming up with any kind of solution. One look at Chihaya was enough to sober him up, however.

She was distressed. She was insecure.

No matter how stupid he thought the reason to be, he could hardly allow the situation to last.

With a groan that was bound to startle her, he bent over and buried his face in his hands.

Only one thing he could do now.

"Come here," he said, his face still hidden behind one hand as he tore the other one away and beckoned her towards him. "No excuses. You'll talk later. Now just come here, please."

She did, albeit tentatively, as if afraid of the reaction he might show her. With his patience starting to run thin at last, Taichi didn't wait for her to cover the whole distance, instead reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist, only to pull her down on the couch right next to him.

And then he pulled her even closer, locking her in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm gonna do something to you," he mumbled into her hair, his voice a mixture of laughter and complaint. "You cruel, cruel, woman. Have you no heart? Here I am, mind reeling as I try to figure out what the hell I did wrong again and you say it's because I don't say I like you enough. As if you didn't already know you've got a firmer hold of my heart than I ever did. Tell me, am I really this bad at showing you that I care that you doubt it?"

It was Chihaya's turn to growl at him, though it surely – and fortunately – didn't stop her from burying her face even deeper into his chest and digging her fingers into the shirt on his back. Again, Taichi laughed at the display, but didn't loosen his grip one bit.

That silly, unbelievable, most beloved girl.

"This and that are different things," she muttered finally in response against his buttons, her stubborn indignation probably being the only reason why he could discern the words at all. "There are different kinds of love languages. We even talked about it, you know."

"Yes. And as far as I remember, we've already established that neither of us cared for this one. So your argument doesn't work."

Well, this was a lie, or at least, it wasn’t fully true. After all, he could never get tired of hearing her say those words, to him and him only. But he didn't need it that much, not when he already knew of so many other ways in which Chihaya expressed her love towards him. He'd always assumed it was the same for her, too.

Funnily enough, he still didn't think he was mistaken.

"I've had feelings for you for the past fourteen years, you dummy, I wouldn't change my mind just because you decided to return them," he threw in only half-jokingly, as if to make sure he got his point across before moving onto the next part. "So? Care to tell me what's the source of it all?"

He felt her tense against him for a split second, only to relax in the next moment with a long, weary sigh. He waited for her to make herself comfortable in his arms, shifting ever so slightly to make it easier for them both. And then he heard her speak.

"I met up with Kana-chan the other day," she admitted weakly. "Her and Desktomu. And I guess... They're always so sweet with one another, now more than ever. I suppose... It made me feel a little jealous. But most of all, it just made me think."

"And you decided that I'd fallen out of love with you, because I don't talk like Komano does?"

"I didn't decide anything, I told you already. I just wondered if maybe I was doing something wrong to deserve that treatment. Sorry for being so terribly scared of losing you again because of my own foolishness."

Words caught in his throat as Taichi tried to protest against this new development. That last addition Chihaya had made – and more importantly, the wounded, truly uncertain voice with which she'd spoken – would have been enough to melt his heart even if he had actually been angry with her. Right now, he had to hold back from grabbing her by the chin and kissing her senseless until all the idiotic ideas evaporated from her overworked mind.

The things she did to him without as much as trying.

You evil little imp.

"They're newly-weds. You can't use them for reference," he managed to stutter out at least, conveniently ignoring the hoarseness of his own voice and the emotion that hovered behind it. "Not to mention, those two are the opposite of us when it comes to talking about feelings openly. There's a reason they got together six years before we did. Just because something works for them doesn't mean it's the best course for us to take as well."

He smiled again and planted a kiss at the top of her hair, before adding, "I still can't believe you really doubted me, though."

She huffed and pulled away, although she still didn't move from her place on the couch. They were still close; close enough for Taichi to see the light reflecting in her eyes and the blush that hadn't left her cheeks, and to reach out and comb her tangled hair with his fingers. Another gesture so full of love, even though it was but a fraction of all that she made him feel.

"Well, since I never understood what had made you fall in love with me in the first place, it's only natural that I'd have this kind of doubts."

He chuckled and she smiled on her part, her obstinacy giving it to the desire to just be with him. It was another thing Taichi was able to read in her eyes – and, knowing the feeling well enough from his own experience, he had no trouble deciphering it.

Delayed, the first part of her sentence entered his brain.

What made me fall for you, I wonder?

He didn't know. It had been so long since he’d realised his feelings after all, and longer still since those feelings had been born. Even all those years earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been able to point out the reasons clearly, never mind finding the one spark that had started it – trying to do so now seemed downright impossible.

There were so many reasons, after all.

Maybe it was because she had never considered herself a possible love interest for anyone, first when she was too engrossed in karuta and later, when she thought she didn't deserve to be one. Maybe it was her hot-headedness and her drive, and how different she'd always been from him, and yet never failed to tell him how much she'd admired and envied those qualities of his that she lacked.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd always been with him, so close and so dear and yet so impossible to grasp.

Maybe it was because she'd loved him long before either of them dared believe that was the case.

Maybe...

"Maybe," he said out loud, though in fact not loud at all, his lips moving against her forehead as he leaned in to put a kiss there, too. "Maybe, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

Edging away, Taichi saw tears gathering in her eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb, his hand cupping the side of her jaw fittingly.

And then he kissed her properly.

Just like he had wanted to ever since he'd first seen her that day.

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Mission // Spencer Reid x Reader

Sooooo this was SUPPOSE to be a blurb for @andiebeaword BUT it ended up being much longer than that, my bad.

Summary - Spencer and Reader must act like a married couple at a party in order to get information on a hitman. They may do more than needed to prove being a married couple.

Word count - 2.7k

Prompts - "If we die, I'm going to kill you." ~~~ "You have a dirty mind." ~~~ "These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaining about your tag you whine ass." ~~~ "Wow, I can't imagine being that rich! How old are his kids, maybe I can date one."

It was a well-known fact that I loved partnering with Spencer. We could always joke around and make eachother feel better, even when working the bad cases. But I feel like this was a little ridiculous.

"Are you shitting me?" The words slipped from my mouth so easily, which I immediatly regretted. Spencer gave me *the look* and elbowed my side.

"I'm sorry Y/n, you and Spencer are the two people who are the most compatible to seem like a couple, and we need hard proof before we arrest him." Hotch explained with his usual amount of enthusiasm.

None.

"Hotch, this guy is dangerous and we will be in there without vests, is what I believe y/n is trying to say." Spencer leaned back in his seat, flipping through the mans file.

"We will have sharp-shooters pointing through every window at him in case anything gets out of hand. This is non negotiable." And with that, he left.

"Well, clearly we have no choice." I stood from my seat, flattening my skirt. "I'm gonna go home and get an outfit ready. You aren't wearing that to the party either." I pointed to his outfit.

"What's wrong with my outfit?!" He scoffed, hugging his sweater vest.

"Okay, one, this isn't some dingy hole in the wall. And two, even if it was, you don't go to a nice party looking like someone who has 3 PhD's in the first place." The smirk on my lips grew wider as he feigned offense.

"Fine, I'll find something nicer to wear. I'll pick you up at 7 and tell the team to meet us there." I agreed and left the conference room a little grumpy, quickly making a bee line to the elevator before anyone could comment on my mood.

-

I stared at the 3 dresses in front of me. They were all the same style, but different colors.

White, yellow, and olive green.

I wasn't sure why I was having so much trouble picking a *color*. I always say that I dress for myself, which is what I was trying to do right now.

Right?

I totally wasn't thinking back to that conversation I had with Spencer a few weeks ago.

-

*"Y/n!" Emily looked at me with surprise. "You look so beautiful in white! Why don't you wear it more?" She was right, I never wore it. Me and Penelope were pretty known for wearing many colors, mine just had to be paired with a black skirt.*

*"I'm so clumsy." I laughed. "I live in constant fear that I'll spill coffee on it. Hence why I'm not holding a cup of joe."*

*"I agree with Emily, you look nice in white." Spencer chimed in. "You know the psychological meaning of white is purity, innocence, wholeness and completion. In color psychology, white is the color of new beginnings, of wiping the slate clean, so to speak." He then took a sip of his coffee.*

*"Yeah well I don't know about the innocent part." I giggled, looking to Emily who gave me a shrug and nod. Spencer choked a bit on his coffee. "You alright there Spence?" He saluted me and headed to his desk, which put me and Emily into a fit of giggles.*

-

I reluctantly grabbed the white one, silently hoping that I was less of a klutz tonight.

The satin dress slipped on me easily. It came down to about 2 or so inches above my knees and had thin straps. I paired it with some semi-transparent heels and called it a day. I put on a little heavier makeup to look the part. Foundation, winged eyeliner, blush, highlight, and mascara. Lastly, I tied my hair up in a simple straightened pony-tail.

By the time my indecisive ass was done choosing everything, it was nearly 7 and I knew that Spence would be early. My heels clicked as I walked on my wood floors, heading to the front door. Getting there just in time to hear a knock. I must have startled him by opening it so fast because he stumbled back a bit. He wore a nice white button up and tighter pants than usual, paired with nice black oxfords.

And then he just stood there.

I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Hi!" He shook his head a bit. "Hello there, back to Earth I see. Do you wanna come in and have a glass of water before this whole event, since you are," I leaned back into my doorway to look at the time. "12 minutes early?"

"Oh, yeah sure." I cleared the way so he could walk in. I shook the heels from my feet, taking me down at least three inches before stepping into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses.

"Do you want ice?" I turned to him, he was sitting at my island. He just shook his head. "Okay." I laughed, putting ice in mine and just filling his with water. The glass clinked as it hit the island in front of him. "You're pretty quiet, are you okay?" The tips of his ears reddened.

"Yeah! I'm just a little nervous, you?" He swiftly brought the water to his lips, guzzling it down like he hadn't drank anything in days. He then stood up.

"Of course I'm nervous." I came around to his side of the counter and swooned into his arms. "But I'll have a great protector there." He smiled down at me with a shake of his head, standing me back up.

Now it's time to head out.

-

We pulled up to the location in Spencer's Volvo, which was incredibly nice to ride in. ~~and I would love to get use to riding in it~~.

"Okay, I have one thing to fix with your outfit." I turned to him before we exited the car. His eyes narrowed at this comment. I leaned forward and unbuttoned two buttons. "Now you look like your going to a party."

"Thank you expert. Stay in the car, I'm going to open your door, the bouncer works with him and we have to go all out on this act." He nodded his head at the bouncer a few yards away.

I wish this wasn't an act.

He opened the door, offering his hand. I took it with a gracious smile, interlacing our fingers. We walked up to the bouncer, who had an ipad with the guest list in hand. Penelope had hacked into their list and added our names, well fake names.

"Mr and Mrs. Adler." Spencer spoke as I leaned into his side. The man scrolled through the list, he tapped our names and opened the door.

It opened to a large room, filled with dozens of people. I leaned up on my tippy toes and whispered into Spencer's ear.

"If we die, I'm going to kill you." I pulled away with a smile, patting his shoulder. His Adam's apple bobbed while he gulped. "So, what's this guys networth, I mean he seems pretty damn rich to throw a party like this." He looked down at me quizzically. "I know you know what it is, I'm sure you have researched him extensively. So what is it?"

"6.2 million dollars." He recited, looking towards the crowd, scanning for the man in question.

"Wow, I can't imagine being that rich! How old are his kids, maybe I can date one."

"Be careful what you say, someone might think we are suspicious." He pulled me into his side, kissing the top of my head.

This night is going to be agonizing. "There he is." We made our way to him slowly, stopping at small drink stations. Just as we were about to get to some seats near him, a server came up to us.

"Hello! Welcome. Would you guys like anything?" She handed Spencer a very small menu. I could see the slight confusion in his eyes. It was truly a weird thing to do at such a big party.

*Salad*

*Potato Soup*

*Fruit Bowl*

*Veggie Bowl*

"I'll have a salad, and the lady will have a fruit bowl." He pointed to the seats we were on our way to. "We will be over there. Thank you." He put his hand on the small of my back, leading us to the seats.

"How did you know I wanted a fruit bowl?"

"You bring some kind of fruit cup to work every day, I'm observant." Right as we were about to sit down, another couple took the seats, not even noticing that we were heading there.

"Well damn. I say we stand next to his table until our food gets here, then we go to the other corner of the room and observe, then we catch him making the deal." I led him to the space by the table. After just a few minutes of waiting, the young lady who took our orders he returned, holding a small bowl of salad and a fruit bowl.

"Have a good night!" She chimed, how can someone be so happy with so many people around?

We ventured to the other side of the room, I grabbed two glasses of champagne from another server on the way. I peered at Spencer over the skinny glass, he was staring at his salad.

"What, is there something wrong?"

"Why is there so much white stuff on it? It's not ranch, I know what ranch looks like." My giggle was muffled slightly by the glass.

"That's what she said." He raised one eyebrow. Then a look of realization came over his face.

"You have a dirty mind." He mixed together the salad to distribute the 'white stuff'. We subtly stared every once in a while over at the mans table.

His name was Anton Todd, but his customers called him Ton. He was someone who frequently assassinated people. He was a hitman to be exact. We had an outside source tell us that a new customer would be coming in to request business, so we could kill two birds with one stone.

So far the man we knew as Cole Kamargo had not come to ask for Antons *services* yet. We had been standing in this corner of the room for a while, just watching him. That's when I caught his eye.

His gaze was terrifying, it struck me right through my soul, and I just couldn't stop looking. He squinted at me, tilting his head. Spencer shook my shoulder.

"Y/n, stop staring at him." It was like being lost in someone's eyes in the worst way possible. I watched as he stood from the table, making his way over with a sour look on his face.

"Shit shit shit shit." I mumbled as he got closer.

"Shit is right. Do you trust me?" I kept my eyes on the man.

"Of course." He grabbed my hips, pushing me against the wall behind us and kissed me hard. He trailed his left hand up to the back of my neck, holding me there. I gasped in surprise, leading him to slip his tongue in my mouth. Meaning we were full on making out. I pushed my hands into his hair, gladly accepting the kiss and sighing into it. Suddenly, Spencer was pulled from me. And there he stood.

Anton.

"Tell your girl to stop fuckin' staring at me." He spat, glaring at me.

"Sorry sir, my wife has ADHD, she zones out frequently." He rushed to my side and pulled me into his side protectively. Anton rolled his eyes and left the area.

I looked up at Spencer, his cheeks were a deep shade of red, and he was touching his lips.

"Thank you. Also, you're a good kisser." I remarked, nudging his side a bit. He looked down at me with wide eyes. "What? Am I not allowed to compliment your kissing? It's good!" I laughed heartily, looping my arm into his.

"Ditto." A smile grew on his lips. I could get use to this. Spencer noticed an available seat near us, so he sat patting his lap.

"Excuse me?"

"Come sit on my lap!" He chuckled.

"I'm glad your getting use to the idea of me being your *wife*." I sat on his lap, leaning my head back onto his shoulder. My hands made their way to the heel of my foot, slightly slipping my shoe off. "These heels are from Satan I think." I rubbed at the sore skin.

"My tag is itchy." Spencer pulled at his collar, relieving the so called *itch*.

"These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaining about your tag you whine ass." He turned his head to me, kissing my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I can put some neosporin on it when we get home. I mean, when we get-get you home." He stuttered, the tips of his ears once again turning an extravagant shade of red. I kissed his jaw.

"Thank you *baby*." We were then interrupted by a woman next to us.

"How long have you guys been married?" The lady leaned over the booth, a ring was clearly shown on her finger.

"8 years." I answered quickly, before Spencer could say a contradicting answer.

"Wow! You guys look so young to be together so long. How do you guys keep it so... so beautiful?" She tilted her head at the question.

"What do you mean?" I asked, reaching my hand into Spencer's hair and playing with it momentarily.

"You seem so in love. You act like teenagers, I don't think I've looked that in love with my husband since we first met." She huffed.

"You just have to find someone who's easy to love." He leaned his head on mine. "I've never had a doubt in my mind that she was the one." The words stuck with me, I felt like they would be embedded in my soul for eternity.

"I think I need to get a divorce." She sunk into the seat, I watched as her husband come back and sat with her, she gave him a weak smile.

"Okay, we need to leave this area before we become homewreckers." I whispered, pulling him to his feet and fleeing into another direction. "We must be amazing actors." I laughed nervously.

"Yeah, actors." He murmered, but before I could comment on it, I saw Cole making his way to Anton.

"Spencer! It's Cole!" I screeched quietly. We discreetly made our way near the table, quickly catching the conversation and relaying it to Hotch.

Cole spoke of the horrible things he wanted done to his wife, it made me sick.

"FBI, get on the ground!" I pulled my gun from the left holster that Spencer had for me. I couldn't exactly *hide* a gun on this white dress. Spencer pulled his gun as well.

"We have you surrounded by sharpshooters aimed and ready to fire, so I suggest that you comply." Morgan came in soon, cuffing the both of them and leading the men to cars.

We now remained outside, sitting on the stairs of the large building.

"I enjoyed being your husband for a night." Spencer laughed, nudging my shoulder.

"And I enjoyed being your wife." I played with the fake ring on my finger. "Okay. Fuck it. Did you mean any of the things you said in there?" The words spat from my mouth quickly.

"Like what?" His voice was shaky.

"Like, that you never had a doubt that I was the one. Or was that part of the act. I would totally understand if it was, you're an amazing actor if it was because it honestly had me believing-" He put his finger to my lips.

"Yes, I meant it."

"Thank God." I grabbed his jaw with both hands and brought him to my lips. He smiled into the kiss, deepening it. His hands ran up and down my back slowly.

"I wouldn't mind doing this every day." He remarked, gesturing between our lips.

"I wouldn't either pretty boy."

[grimoireoffolkloreandfairytales]

for fandom blorbo asks, do russian fairytales count as a fandom?

Oh, how could they not, when so much of my life has beeen consumed by them? Thank you so much for this ask, really amde my day, hope you won't be bored by my rambling:

blorbo: Predictably I know, but... who else but Baba Yaga? She is so ambigious and complex, and there are so many interpretations of her. She wants everybody to leave her alone in her woods, and knows everything; she mistreats her servants, and will help lost stranger because they were polite; she is pushed in oven so many times, and she is immortal. She is child eater and pseudo-mother figure; she is the threshold gaurdian who sets lethal tasks and donor who provides advice and mcguffins. She has no past and no background, and she has three sisters; she is the archetypal wicked witch, and such unique and recognizable character; the one and only, and her name is often not even written with capitals as if it was title or species. She stands at boundaries, and belongs nowhere; she is teacher of moral and personal lessons, and foreign being of wilderness. She is Devil's grandmother, and she is demonized pagan goddess of nature/death/initiation/snakes/winter/earth/ whatever theory you are trying to sell us now. Its fascinating how such a fairy tale character inspires people to read so much in her yet still remains undefinable.

(I think it obvious my favourite, and very biased and not very fulproof interpretation is ''What if God was omnipotent, omniscient and without beginning and end; and also grumpy mean grandmother with aching back who has grudge against everything around her and just wants to argue with her cat and spin in peace.'')

scrunkly: Ivan The Tsarevich. People in my opinion don't appreciate him enough, which fair I understand, we are all little fed up with third son who is stupid but lucky, and Ivan is sometimes jerk, but still! I admit, I am biased, because my view of him is '' a pretty and naive twink who only wants to be trophy husband of much smarter and powerful woman and tend to animals, and good for him!!!'' Also I love Vasilisa the Beautiful, yes girl, go play with your doll and be kind and good woman who becoems tsaritsa because her clothing is SO good, and also burn your stepfamily to ashes.

scrimblo bimblo: This is gonna be weird answer, but, Marya Morevna. I know, I know, Deathless came out and it is probably most famous retelling, at least in Western sphere, but though good book I would love if people realized source-Marya Morevna was brutal warlord empress who regularly slaughtered battlefields, conquered kingdoms day-to-day, and unfairly got shoved in passive role because she didn't tell her trophy house husband about evil wizard she kept locked up in basement without food or water. I also love all Vasilisas the Wise, especially her as The Sea Tsar's daughter. I am sorry, smart magical water women are my weakness. Oh! And Alyoshka from Alyoshka and the Robbers, maybe? Has anybody translated that tale in English or do I gotta do it myself?

glup shitto: Baba Yaga's cat. I love animals and I love cats and I love animals that help fairy tale ehro because of kindness and I love snark, and this thing has it all. I want kids' horror tv series about this cat's adventures as aide to heroes.

poor little meow meow: What is problematic in these tales? Hmm, can't be Koschei Deathless ( i love him as withered old man who uses black magic to remain immortal and preys on princesses but gets betrayed by animals and is also treated as another annoying little kid by Baba Yaga, not sexy dark god, sorry haha, but it's good book really). I love Grey Wolf, even if he is dastardly trickster? Also any and all dragons and rusalkas and such creatures.

horse plinko: Poor Ivan probably, haha, but I also love putting his elder brotehrs though tortures haha.

eeby deeby: Hmmm... Not sure. All those mean greedy elderly emperors, I suppose?

Anyway, thanks a lot for this, and sorry for rambling!

[casually-inlove]

Hello! I absolutely love your posts, as they are so well written and thought out. I'd like to ask, what do you think about future interactions with Guanshan and Qiu? Do you have any head cannons? I can't stop thinking about the motorbike chapter. I'd feel like they'd get along. I'm sorry if you've already answered this type of ask before; I just feel like you're good at analyzing the characters of 19 days. Thank you!

Hi there~ Thank you very much for your words! 💕 In truth, I always get half-embarrassed when re-reading my old posts with a fresh eye because I inevitably stumble across awkward wording, leftover phrases and similar things, haha. 

You know, I loved the chapter and that panel myself. In fact, it may be one of my favourites involving our grumpy white-haired hitman. Coincidentally, I have penned down Qiu and Mo headcanons in this post. It chiefly concerns Tianshan, but there are a few paragraphs dedicated to Qiu, so let me quote:

Despite feeling cowed by He Cheng, he is inexplicably drawn to Brother Qiu. Well, it’s not exactly inexplicable – Mo is completely sold on that pimped-out bike and Qiu’s flashy style of driving. It doesn’t take him too long to start awkward exchanges with the aloof man. Qiu doesn’t mind it. Out of all four, Guanshan is the only guy he can stomach, partly because Guanshan doesn’t run his mouth much, and partly because Qiu’s secretly touched by being addressed as “Mister”.

As it turns out, Qiu runs a smallish bike workshop. His love for motorcycles goes beyond riding one; he’s a very good mechanic too. Something is calming about changing the oil and polishing chrome plated parts, tuning engines and fixing tyres. There’s music to motor’s deep rumbling.

At some point, Mo begins to pop by, and eventually, ends up inviting himself in. Qiu sees no harm in it and after a bit of grumbling, he lets the young man help him with simple tasks. Eventually, he starts tipping Mo. It’s not much, but it helps him feel better about having a youngster in his garage.

Qiu turns out to be a very patient mentor – not only does he show Guanshan how bikes work, but he also teaches him the basics of riding one. Mo ends up listening to him with his mouth slightly agape. Any new bits of info he soaks up like a sponge, and Qiu is, in every respect, a wellspring of knowledge. Bikes, engines, self-defence, hand-to-hand fighting, etcetera.

He Tian doesn’t approve of their bonding time. He doesn’t trust Qiu. That man – he has never been able to see through him. Heaven knows what kind of orders he’s been given, and, more importantly, by whom. There’s a nagging fear prickling his nape that Qiu reports to his father. It has always been this way. Someone always kept an eye on He Tian: who he socializes with, what he does, where he goes. His father had him placed in a panopticon.

The one time He Tian tries to tell Guanshan to keep away from Qiu, the red-haired young man casts him a weird look and brushes him off. He Tian doesn’t relent though, he pops by Qiu’s garage the next evening and catches Mo during his bike routine. The latter doesn’t take him seriously though and calls him paranoid. Things escalate pretty quickly when He Tian attempts to tell him that Qiu is dangerous.

All in all, I see Qiu and Mo sharing some sort of quiet rapport. Out of all four teenagers, I could picture Qiu finding Mo to be the most tolerable, in no small part because the latter comes off as earnest and hardworking. Besides, I imagine that Mo has some practical life skills — he can probably fix things, he knows how stuff works, he can probably hammer a nail. That’d probably impress Qiu — here’s a teenager who isn’t pampered and who doesn’t expect “adults” to do stuff for him. 

[brownskinsugarplum76]

The New Girl, Part 1

I'm going to hijack something else from you today, @m-faithfull. 😁 I saw you post this pic a little while back, and I was itching to write for it. Here you go, a leonine Robert going in for the kill. 😬 Just felt like making him a little more forward this time around.

Thanks to @starchild0985 for the argument idea a while ago, and thanks to @firethatgrewsolow for the sanity check on the emotional stuff. ❤️❤️❤️

Not smut yet, but there are "adult undertones." 😎

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You round the corner with the food cart and hear them before you see them: the blaring radio and the boisterous, British-accented speech. And then there's a fearsome, metallic crash--a large, glass something, likely hurled into trash can.

You park across from the doorway, look into the room, and take a deep breath. It's your first night on the job, your first time serving a bunch of rock stars and their entourage. You've heard the stories and know that anything is possible in the green room: arguments, fist fights, food fights, hasty sex, even musicians too drunk or high to perform. But it's not just anxiety about the possible mood in the room that gives you pause. You are a huge Led Zeppelin fan, and you are as ashamed about your pink polyester work dress as you are excited to meet the young legends. You've daydreamed about meeting Robert, in particular, but certainly never under these circumstances.

You're glad to have had time to pull your copy of Led Zeppelin IV out of your locker while no one was looking and stash it on the bottom shelf of the cart, hidden behind the long, white tablecloth. An autographed vinyl would be a happy memory of the night, even if everything else went crazy.

Bonzo starts talking, and you realize things are not as jovial as you'd hoped.

"All I'm saying, Perce, is less talk between songs!" Bonzo's voice is colored with exasperation. "We both know damn well that you're just scanning the crowd to skim the finest birds off the top for yourself, innit?"

You're not sure if you should make your way into the room or stay out of the fray for a while. Since no one has noticed you yet, you decide to watch what happens next.

"How do you mean, Bonzo?" Robert's voice has all of the charm you'd expect to hear, but you don't know if his soothing tone will be enough to defuse the situation.

"All I'm doing," Robert continues, "is showing love and gratitude to the audience and setting the scene for you lot to release the sturm und drang, as it were."

"Fucking hell, Robert. Admit it, that's not the release you're most worried about! The crowds are bigger than in Birmingham, but you haven't changed your horny bastard ways one bit, matey…"

"It seems the song does indeed remain the same," Jimmy muses with a chuckle.

"I'm just surprised he ain't have a knee trembler onstage yet. G, Pagey, you're really lucky he didn't hump a pillar when you came to check him out back then. That's the sort of bollocks that I don't miss from this one." He frowns and takes a huge sip of his beer.

It seems this story is new to Jimmy and G, the imposing man you understand to be the manager. Both men exchange glances and shake their heads.

"Fuck it all!" Robert uncrosses his arms and picks up a cigarette package and lighter from the table. "Don't believe me, then." He turns his back on his critics and lights a cigarette.

You get a glimpse of his pout and his elegant fingers, marveling at how cute he looks when he's upset. Somehow this vision has neutralized any red flags raised by Bonzo's stories. You don't know why you can excuse Robert for things that would make you cold to anyone else. You are a little wary, but you know any objections you have left could be swept away with something as light as his sinful whisper in your ear, the brush of his lips against your neck, and the feathery touch of his fingers on your bud.

You are in danger of slipping deep into fantasy and decide to enter the room now to save yourself. Part of you wants to get your work over with, get your autographs, stargaze at the band and leave, but part of you wants to offer whatever comfort you can to the grumpy Robert before your eyes--just about anything he'd ask for.

Everyone else has moved on in a few different conversations. This ends up being a lucky occurrence for Robert, who is still sulking alone and notices you first.

He drops the hand with the cigarette by his side while he familiarizes himself with you. Then he lets loose with a dazzling smile.

G, the rest of the band, and the others in the room focus on you a beat later, while Robert quickly stubs out his cigarette in an ashtray. "And food saves the day. Your timing is impeccable, darlin'. Allow me to be your knight in denim and help you with that cart." He sidles up to you and rests one hand on your shoulder and the other on top of your hand. He winks at you, and you step aside so he can move the cart.

You drink in the sparkly, mostly open button-down that is hanging off of his broad shoulders, thankful that it ends just above the bulge in his jeans that won't be denied, so you can sneak a peek.

He is every bit as flirtatious as you've gleaned from the radio interviews. You get the impression that he doesn't mind the uniform you're wearing, that he's looking way past it in his mind, that he'd still flirt with you if you were wearing a potato sack. It is both a relief and something that leaves your stomach jittery.

"Our wonderful caterer…" he stares for a long time at the general region of your name tag, licks his lips, and relays your name with a wicked grin, "has brought the real food. Orange juice for Jimmy? And sandwiches and crisps for the rest of us. No need to gorge on three-day-old bananas anymore… Although there's one aged almost 25 years that's highly recommended, if you're into that sort of thing…" Robert murmurs the last part for your ears only.

You blush and are stunned by his boldness, but you get your bearings quickly, realizing things will be as out of control as you anticipated. You can't deny that you would love to spend some time alone with Robert, and you're ready to see what other bold moves he has in store.

You steady yourself to throw some of your own boldness his way. "Well, they are good for you--delicious and incredibly filling… And I do like them ripe, personally, so…" You reply just as softly and gaze into his eyes.

Inside of the stare, the two of you are zapped by a mutual, high-voltage flash of interest. Your heart races, and your body throbs.

"Prime example, this is!" Bonzo interjects from the couch. "Percy Plant plucking another flower for himself!"

"Not now, Bonzo," Robert mutters, still looking into your eyes.

You blink rapidly, realizing all eyes are on you. "Sorry… It's my first night here… I-- I've got to set these things out," you stammer to Robert. You want him, but to have things so very obviously play out in front of so many people… A curtain of shame weighs heavy on the lust that has engulfed your body.

Before you can pick up the tray of sandwiches, Robert steps in. "Allow me, love." He notices your conflicting emotions and removes all of the food from the cart for you. You're glad for his help because you feel lightheaded. The last thing you need to do is drop a tray of food on your first night and draw the ire of the rambunctious group.

"What's this, then?" Robert has peeked under the tablecloth and has found your record. "Fancy some autographs from us heathens?" He holds up the album for everyone to see.

"One of my favorites. I must commend your good taste." Jimmy's tip of his glass to you and his friendly words lighten your tension. Your thank-you to him is for his compliment as much as it is for the lifeline to normalcy that he has thrown.

Robert places a hand on your shoulder. "You know what? I'll let the rest of the lads sign first. You look like you could use some help getting this cart back where it belongs, yeah?"

You get the sense that Robert genuinely wants to blot out your embarrassment, but you know that he has other, wolfish desires alongside his altruism. You're okay with that, and you don't question why.

"That would be great." A weak smile grows stronger on your face as you think of how exciting a stolen moment with Robert will be.

"Yes, allow me to drive this for you then?" He begins to push the cart to the door.

"Thirty minutes until showtime, Robert," G calls out, knowing he won't return right away.

Robert doesn't respond to G but does motion for you to join him in the hall. You tell him which way to turn. You're back to bursting with excitement again as you leave the room in the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.