#i can't believe this is the first piece of digital art I'm posting in months TT

[bunny-boy-pansy]

Stupid purple fuck (original image below)

[aerinis]

Doing my belated 2023 art review. Putting it below a read more because a lot of stuff happened this year and some of it is kind of heavy.

2023 was a pretty good year for me, both personally and artistically. I had a couple of annoying minor medical issues that I'm still dealing with, but I'd say I was able to maintain my goal of drawing at least one little doodle a day for most of the year. I will say though that the vast majority of what I drew this year - probably like 95% - was personal art. Hopefully someday I'll be satisfied enough with it to post it. I'd also like to spend 2024 focusing more on painting and practicing landscapes. I spent the first three months of the year working on a piece for a local art gallery competition, which actually ended up getting accepted and subsequently spent the rest of the year touring around the state in several different exhibitions. That introduced me to the wonderful world of trying to figure out how the hell digital prints and shipping work, but everything turned out fine in the end. It remains the largest piece I've ever made at 18"x24", and hopefully once I get it shipped back to me I'll be sending it off to my parents. I also found out that I HATE writing artist's statements, like fuck off you don't need to know my background, just interpret the piece however. I'd like to post here, but I want to make sure first that it hasn't been uploaded to the internet by any of the galleries since I'd like to keep my personal info off this blog lmao What's funny is that I feel like I've come so far as an artist ever since I submitted that piece, that every time I look at the B-grade prints I have lying around I'm like "oh my god this looks terrible, I can't believe this got accepted". I guess that's just what being an artist is like Following that, I took the next month off from art, which was a nice little break. I did a bunch of art parties in FFXIV, which are always great for improving, because as counter-intuitive as it seems the best way to get good at art is to be forced to draw a whole bunch of different things under strict time limits. I feel like I can definitely see my lineart improving as the months go on. I also started working more with color, my eternal nemesis, and I'm hoping next year I can really start to nail down a style. I did Art Fight for the first time ever in July and it ROCKED, definitely going to do it again this year and I'm still pretty proud of the drawings I did. I love an event where it's socially acceptable for me to draw people's OCs. I think I'll probably focus on doing more WoW OCs this year. Unfortunately July is the busiest month for me at work, where I'm waking up at 5AM for basically the entire month straight and working in 100+ degree weather, so we'll see if I can maintain the energy for it.

And now the heavy stuff. Some of you might know that I'm pretty involved in the secret finding community in WoW, and back during BFA when we spent 11.5 months trying to find Jenafur, I did paint-overs of a bunch of cat memes to try and keep spirits up during the hunt. Unfortunately, the Make-A-Wish kid who created the pet ended up passing away in April. You can read about her life here in this article that will make you want to guillotine a chemical executive, and this older interview from 2020 about the secret. But what really got to me was this one line from the PCGames interview:

And like, I don't want to be presumptuous but like. I think she was talking about my art. Every time I posted on she'd comment on it, and she even DMed me about them. This line fucking destroyed me. I'm not even going to exaggerate. For several days after we found out about her death I was a wreck. The thought that my silly little drawings actually had an impact on someone and made their life a little brighter just ruined me. The bill she was fighting for ended up passing, and I hope that someday the idea of 'forever chemicals' will cease to exist.

Downer ending but I'm kind of too bummed out to write more

[trutimeline]

idislikecispeople, The Most Infamous Dyscourse Blogger: Part 1.0, Rumors

idislikecispeople, also known as many names throughout her time on Tumblr (such as Adele, Kat, Mami, Samantha and Sayaka), was a former Tumblr blogger who became infamous for coining the term "tucute", among many other controversial things she has posted on her blogs. This was supposed to be one, very long masterpost about her, but Tumblr's post editor is a bitch and won't let me do that.

In this post, I'll be debunking or confirming rumors commonly spread about idislikecispeople. The rest of my posts about her will each be dedicated to a specific controversial belief she held or situations she got into. For simplicity's sake, I'll be referring to idislikecispeople as Kat for the rest of this post and future ones.

Rumors

Kat Coined the Terms "Truscum" and "Tucute"

Verdict: Partially True

Kat coined the term tucute, but she did not coin the terms truscum or transmedicalist.

Here's a screenshot of Kat's original definition of a tucute:

Transcript:

What is Tucute?

What does tucute mean?

Tucute is basically just the opposite of truscum, it’s a term and community for trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis individuals created to separate anti-truscum from truscum and to serve as a safe place from truscum and from cis people, where they believe that being trans requires dysphoria, we do not,where they think that being trans is a medical condition, we do not,and where they deny numerous gender identities on the basis that it “discredits the trans community” we do not.

What are the prerequisites to be a part of the tucute community?

You have to be trans, nonbinary, and/or non-cis in general

You have to accept all pronouns and gender identities

You haveto believe that dysphoria is not necessary to be trans

You have to dislike truscum

You cannot side with truscum or believe in their ideology

You cannot misgender anyone no matter how mad they make you

You cannot be an ableist whatsoever

Did you invent the tucute community? Why?

I indeed did coin the tucute term and community and anyone who says otherwise are creeps who are trying to steal it from me and redefine it for their own nefarious doings. I started this community so anti-truscum could separate themselves from truscum and cis people who are a part of the truscum community, it serves as a safe space from both truscum and cis people.

I’m cis, can I be tucute if I believe in your movement and want to help?

No, you can’t be tucute if you’re cis, you can only be a tucute ally, and you need to be sure to never speak for or over a trans person.

I see a lot of tucuties being just as harmful as truscum, what will you do about it?

There isn’t much I can do to them other than ask them to stop aligning with the tucute community, and of course, that doesn’t mean they will. Also be noted that truscum and cis people will pretend to be tucute just to tarnish the name of the tucute community, so tread lightly, you might be talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Spread the word, use the tag #tucute and join the army today!

[A digital drawing of Sayaka Miki from Puella Magi Madoka Magica in her magical girl form, with a banner underneath her reading "Tucute 4 U!"]

(source) (source)

Kat Was a Cisgender Woman Who Lied About Being a Transgender Woman

Verdict: False

This rumor primarily comes from a post on Kat's oldest known Tumblr blog, chromaghost, where she claims that she wasn't MTF and only tagged a selfie as such because she thought that transgender people were "cool".

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: are you a mtf? i seen it tagged on one of your photos.

No lol. I wanted to post it to the tag because transgender people are cool :3

(source) (source) (source)

However, Kat addressed this post and made it clear she very much was a transgender woman multiple times on her later blogs. This claim can also be confirmed with nude photos Kat posted online, which I don't feel comfortable spreading, so you'll just have to trust me on that one. I also don't feel comfortable directly encouraging you to go and dig up those nudes, as most of her nude photos were either taken when she was a minor, spread without her consent and/or were uploaded because people pressured her into posting nudes to "prove" she was a transgender woman.

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: you bound with ace bandage in one of your selfies. i don't know what to think about you anymore. according to some people you're a 27 year old cis woman scamming us, but you say you're a 22 year old trans woman. i want to trust you but i don't know if i can. i'm sorry.

Rest assured I’m not 27 years old lol. What you’re referring to is a less than graceful ~art piece~ we did (”Playing a Boy” or something) on deviantART when we were 16/17 (?) and really ill-informed. I ask you to not take that as how I stand currently – as I have learned so much more since, and I have a penis and I was designated male at birth because of it (feel free to purchase a passcode to our nsfw blog to see for yourself). At the time we were developing breast tissue but still had to appear as a ‘boy.’ Don’t bind with Ace bandages, kids, it can damage your rib cage, something we didn’t know at the time.

(source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of two prescriptions, estradiol and spironolactone, both prescribed to Adele Sheffield.]

grandtran still gonna think I photoshopped it or what

(source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: In other words, you aren't gonna cough up the pics because you know you can't fake that shit because you're actually cis. Cool. BTW why do you keep changing your story about the blog, and if the blog was run by you when you were in denial about being trans because of self hate, why were the pics tagged mtf and you were constantly saying trans people were cool?

Yeah I’m not gonna do something for y’all and get nothing in return except more doubt from you, you see how one sided that kind of request is? Also its technically considered sexual harassment, just because its on the internet, you’re a coward (whats your username btw?), and you think I’m cis and you want me to prove time and time again to you that I’m dmab doesn’t justify sexually soliciting someone when they’re not comfortable in being solicited – for free no less.

At first I genuinely had no memory of that blog, it was only active for all of 2 months and for some reason I moved onto a new email and new tumblr, and I haven’t the foggiest why. As for the whole “me claiming to not be ~mtf~” I don’t have any memories from that time, I can only assume it was a lot of dysphoria fueled self-hatred and wanting to be seen/pass as a cis girl lesbian.

If you’re really gonna solicit nudes from a trans woman (a second time) as they do sex work to try and stay on their feet without offering anything in return just so your transmisogynistic ass can get off to trying to tell me my dick is fake isn’t classy at all. I perish the thought of what you’re parents would think of this behavior from you. But yeah, feel free to send some money to my paypal so I can get the gender markers on my records changed because that’s gonna cost a lot apparently, and I’ll definitely send you the dick pics you want. :)

(source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A picture of a a hospital bracelet on Kat's wrist. The patient's name is Adele Sheffield and her sex is labeled as "M".]

(source)

Kat Lied About Having Diabetes To Get Money From Tumblr Users

Verdict: False

This doesn't need much commentary from me, just view the screenshots below.

Transcript:

To the people who keep harping on me buying a $15 video game for my mental health 7 MONTHS ago “with my donation money,” well, here you go, some proof, links and screenshots provided

So for everyone spreading misinformation about me spending $15 on a video game for my mental health, here’s a full list of reasons why there is no way, shape, or form I spent my paypal money on it:

Yes, I spent $15 of my own money after selling one of my possessions, not denying it:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she shows off a copy of Fall Out: New Vegas, marked with a price of $14.99. The date of the post is marked as July 21, 2014 at 06:28.39 PM.]

Be sure to look at the date, July 21st, 2014 6:28 PM. Now lets look at my first donation post asking for help:

[A screenshot of a Tumblr post by Kat where she asks for donations to be able to afford insulin because she has no insurance. The date of the post is marked as July 20, 2014 at 08:14.00 PM.]

Hmm, one day before the purchase of said game, July 20th 2014 at 8:14 PM. Now, I’ve never heard of a video game store — much less a non-chain video game store accepting payment for video games in the form of virtual Amazon gift cards, have you? Oh, but you’re gonna say, “well you bought the game with your paypal donations anyway!” Well, here’s exhibit C:

[Another screenshot of a separate post made by Kat where she is also asking for donations to be able to afford insulin. The date of the post is marked as July 23, 2014 at 12:27.46 PM.]

Again, looking at the date of this posting which is the original donations post, you can see it was posted on July 23rd, 2014 at 12:27 PM, a full 2 days after I had bought the game. Now, if there’s no way for me to use Amazon gift cards for a real life video game store, then how can I go back in time a minimum of 2 full days to give past me $15 to buy said game, hm? This isn’t even accounting for the fact that I didn’t even have my own bank account associated with it until over a week later, and it surely doesn’t account for the fact that it takes up to 5 days to transfer from paypal to your bank account. All the dates are linked to the original unedited posts so you can see for yourself, and for added measure my first deposit was on August 14th, 2014:

[A screenshot of a deposit made by Kat. The date is marked as 08/14/14.]

Oh but yeah, anti-sjs, truscum, and the like took damniwishidthoughtofabettername’s postthey used to gaslight us with misinformation and you all bought it. Tell me how I could misuse donations that I could not use outside of Amazon and money I didn’t even start receiving until a full two days later, let alone the fact that there’s no way I could have transferred said money and used it two days prior as of the date of the paypal donations post.

I hope some of y’all could reblog this and get the word out, I’m sick and tired of people buying into that misinformation that person did solely to gaslight me as a means to try and disrupt my donations drive.

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

[A selfie of Kat holding up a vial of Novolin to the camera.]

Hey anon, I don’t feel comfy giving you my receipts (because doxxing is a thing) but here you go, a selfie with my most recent insulin purchase. 👽

(source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source) (source)

Transcript:

Anonymous asked: Getting desperate for money again I see. How is your fake diabetes lately. I bet your blood sugar is like 800 this time and you're still able to be alive somehow.

You got me, I’m ~totally faking~

[A selfie of Kat. In the background several items used by diabetics are seen such as insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.]

[A picture that gives us a closer look at the background of the previous selfie.]

[A selfie of Kat holding up two vials, one of Lantus and the other of Humalog.]

Gee, must be one dedicated faker, right? To have hundreds of dollars of insulin equipment and insulin itself. Hmmm… Insulin syringes, glucose tablets, a blood sugar tester and test strips.. oh and insulin, hmmmm….

Oh and because you didn’t learn from last time you don’t die instantly when your blood sugar goes over 600 lol, something anyone who studies endocrinology can tell you, and I would know, being a diabetic, having to be hospitalized numerous times for ketoacidosis where the blood sugar has been too high for too long. Things you clearly do not know and you’re just jumping on the disableist bandwagon. I have an idea of who you are anyway, just doing this for future reference.

(source)

[petra-creat0r]

Howdy there my Creative Creators! Oh wow, I haven't talked to you since last year! Ha, get it? Because it's a new year now. Not just that! A new decade! I haven't experienced a turn of a decade since I was 6! Back in 2010! Wow, can you believe it? Well, I don't have much to celebrate the arrival of 2020, but I do have some stuff to update y'all on. And doodles. So let's get to it!

First of all, because it's a new year, I need to update my signatures. Should I have probably just removed the year from my signature? Probably. Am I going to insist on putting the year in my signature so I can keep track of everything? Yes. So here are the new signatures that will be found on all of the comic panels and or pieces of art that I create this year. (If I make any digital art pieces this year... I can't guarantee)

Any ways! I'll probably be able to draw and post more because (hopefully) my new approach to scheduling will give me more free time, well... Free time that isn't just time taken away of when I should be working on something and I'm just procrastinating. So yeah! Expect more posts guys! And expect not all of them to just be new ask blog updates.

Also, here's the first panel made in 2020, no context until the next update comes out on Friday this week.

And yes! All of you heard me right (or read me right I suppose). The next AtDFF update will be thus Friday! One of my New Year resolutions was to be better at scheduling my activities, homework and work so I procrastinate less. Starting January 3rd, I will be attempting to update AtDFF every Friday! Spreading my work into different sections throughout the week and communicating better with my background artist (and girlfriend). Also, I'll be updating AYC ever Monday. So yeah. No more month long waits between updates. And hopefully we'll just miss the point where it takes me two years to progress two days into the comic. Yep. It's been over a year since I started the comic and it was set on August 18th, 2018. It's only passed one day in comic time... But with around 5 updates per month, we should totally get to School Daze before August 18th, 2020! (Depending on how 2nd semester of Sophomore year treats me.)

Happy New Year and see ya later Creative Creators.

Alright. That's all. Whew! Welp! I wish all of you a new year and decade! So just relax, take care of yourselves and have some doodles while we all prepare for the chaos that this new year (and new decade) will inevitably bring.

[hangonimevolving]

The Iron String.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance

Here we are. It's August. Five months plus since the start of the U.S. pandemic, lockdowns, and general disruption to society. Over 5.26 million confirmed cases in the United States alone to date, and 167,000 deaths. Our world around us has changed.

Much of the last two months of summer for me were spent in an agonizing holding pattern concerning the almighty School Question. What would happen in the fall? Would schools be reopening? If so, how would that look - would we just act like life is normal, or would there be modifications to help prevent transmission of the virus? If so, what on earth modifications are even possible for young children that are reasonable, and to which little kids can even feasibly adhere given their ages and needs? If it proves too difficult to reopen schools, what would be the plan? Would there be some sort of virtual learning program, and how would it differ from the shifts that happened this past spring, with teachers scrambling to educate themselves on distance-learning technologies and teleconferencing utilities in order to teach a room full of kindergartners on Zoom? Surely, with several months to ponder the possibilities and plan for vairous contingencies, schools would be more prepared with better, more structured and thought-out plans for fall, than what they had in the spring... right?

Er, wrong. WRONG. The short version of how this situation ended, at least in our geographic area, is that the public school system (and my own kids' small, family-owned private school) made the decision to reopen to face-to-face teaching by the middle of July. Late in the game, both also hastily threw together a virtual option for students - but the virtual option was tantamount to a continuation of the fly-by-night Zoom teaching that had been put into effect at the very start of the lockdown.

I for one was entirely disappointed and disgusted with this. With SO much time to plan, this is really the best that could be done?! Bruh, NAW. I wasn't having it.

So blah blah blah, hem, haw, blah. Research, research, research. Reading, millions of review websites, forums, blogs, legal defense funds, Department of Education website, nonprofits, clubs and associations and collectives.... a phone call with an old friend from high school with over 10+ years experience, and a series of long and informative text message exchanges with two other friends, one a veteran with over 15+ years with three now-adult children, another a mom about my age of children about my kids' ages, facing this situation just like me and working through options just like me...... and, after all this, I knew exactly what I would be doing. What WE would be doing, in our family.

By June 13, it was official, and it was all systems go.

Ladies and gentlemen.... I am officially a homeschooling mom. Like, a LEGIT homeschooling mom. As in, I am doing a 100% parent-led homeschooling curriculum plan, FULL-time, with my two children.

I won't lie. In a million, bajillion, baskillion years, I don't think I ever intended to find myself in this place. I'll also say with honesty, that I have admired from afar the rare few homeschooling families that I somewhat know, and the flexibility and creativity with which they approach academics and learning in general.

I have also been increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with the academic progress of my own children... Dr. Spouse and I have had long discussions where we've tried to speculate on the things that we haven't been satisfied about in our kids' schooling. The list has been long. But even as we were able to identify specific shortcomings in our children's particular educational environment, I've felt a rising sensation of control-freakism and bootstrapism in my chest, that has whispered to my conscience: "if you feel something is wrong here, don't sit around waiting for someone else to fix it. And, when you articulate your concerns in a constructive, non-threatening, but clear way, and people have smiled and nodded and claimed they'd follow up on those items, but in the end, they havent taken those concerns seriously - then it is time to man the f&* up and TAKE CARE OF THAT SHIT yourself. Because YOU are the only one you can trust. YOU are the only one who can do it right, in your own view. So either do it, or stop feeling dissatisfied about it."

So here it is. Our original plan, prior to the pandemic, was to switch the kids to the local (A-rated) public elementary school for this coming year. We had hoped that a change in environment, teachers, and the accountability of being a reputed school in the public school system, would mean more organization and oversight, and that hopefully this would translate into better academic progress in our kids.... but the pandemic changed all our plans, and besides, I don't know if more "in theory..." type things ever really translate to palpable, effective change at the individual level (at least not for me anyway, I never have such luck).

Rather than seeing this weird, surreal circumstance has having forced me into the homeschooling decision (which, maybe it sort of did) - - for reasons I can't explain, I dove headlong into it, with great excitement and hope. I can't really figure out how I have been as enthusiastic or jazzed about it as I have been - - but lookie, I'm jazzed! Seriously. From the moment we made the decision to do it, I felt like a 1,000-lb. weight was lifted from my chest. No more feeling anxious or on the edge of my seat about decisions that are being made outside of my control. In this matter - I stopped waiting for other poeple, and I TOOK CONTROL. For my own kids, anyway.

I'll write a detailed post at a later time about some of the particulars of the homeschooling plan that I am using, the research I did, the materials I ended up purchasing, the knowledge and insight I required while in the preparations phase, and other stuff. But, for now - I've droned on long enough. I'm gonna share some pictures now.

To bring it back to the start of this post - - with this homeschooling plan, I have found my iron string. I literally felt this resounding, reverberating sense of CONFIDENCE the moment that I decided to do this, and effectively brought Dr. Spouse on board. NEVER, in my life, have I felt so right about a decision. I feel a tremendous inner harmony about it - like I've come home to myself, if that's not too weird to say.

Sooo.... here are pictures of Week 1 of our great homeschooling adventure.

Obligatory "First Day of School" picture....

Our newly-tweaked home office - - now serving as our homeschooling classroom!

Particularly proud of our new training clock, our large-format calendar, and the "today's date/weather" board that I made with vinyl die-cuts from my Cricut, some chalkboard-surface Contact paper, and some rainbow sparkly duct tape :)

Spanish class: kids use a fun new app for two class sessions a week

Dey working on simple addition/subtraction with Teddy Bear Counters

Dey slaying his worksheets in Handwriting class - we're doing both print letters and cursive

Vev learning to tell time, and to recognize and convey the time in both analog and digital notation

After reading several history textbook chapters on the origins, diets, nomadic lifestyles, housing practices, and modes of dress among prehistoric humankind - we did a "History in action" lesson where the kids were given 10 minutes to construct a shelter out of a "mammoth skin" (blanket), "two tree branches" (pool noodles), and several large "rocks" (throw pillows). They didn't need the full 10 minutes :)

Vev enjoying one of his first chapter books - an "I Can Read" reader during a Language Arts learning block

After a week reading science textbook chapters about the earth's atmosphere, we conducted science experiments to better understand the properties of air! The boys had a "paper race" using construction paper and pieces of cardboard as fans, to race two paper structures across a finish line. They discussed their expectations and each articulated a hypothesis about which paper would travel faster, prior to conducting the experiment; afterwards, we determined whether our "guesses" (hypothesis) were accepted or rejected :)

This is just a smattering. There's been so much, and in only four days. I can't believe how much we are able to learn and cover in our homeschooling time. And the crazy thing is, we are able to do Phonics and Grammar, Reading, History, Read-aloud time, Math, Spanish, Handwriting, and Science in only about 3 hours per day. We integrate things like art, movement, current events, and practical life skills into pretty much everything we do, but on occasion we are even able to do a discrete, planned-out period of time for these topics too.

The iron string is taut, and secured in its proper place. We are ready for it to guide us through this school year.