#i can't bear the physical pain the injustice brings

[dalfurawa]

i will never forgive how they treated han jipyeong in start up!!!!! the writers made him give everything and gave him nothing in return!! NOTHING!! the only thing he had going on for him was his relationship with dalmi's grandma but they ruined that as well!! kim seonho carried for real

[cooking-with-hailstones]

One day they will make a 3D Zelda with hair that doesn't mildly bug me.

I love Zelda, I love so many aspects of her character designs. She's such a cool character. But her hair consistently breaks my immersion in a way that many other characters just don't, so I am compiling a silly little list.

My credentials for this are the fact that I am a person with long hair who dabbles in hairstyling and I like doing my hair with braids and ribbons. I am also in theater, and purveyor of historical hairstyles.

This is a very unserious and rambling rant, so please bear with me! No shade and no harm meant. This is me having fun.

Alright, down to business.

CATEGORY 1: NO BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW THICK IS YOUR HAIR? OFFENDERS: BOTW/TOTK Zelda

That is a thicccc braid she's got there, but she simultaneously has long flowing hair (botw) that would need to be incorporated into the braid, OR her hair is shoulder length (totk) and you cannot physically make a braid that looks like that with hair that short. ALSO, the braid is very thick, starting from the crown of the head, while not incorporating any hair around it?

It looks like a fake braid headband (which is, I believe, what most cosplayers end up using). If you reeeally wanted to give her a headband, you could use a circlet or a ribbon.

Which brings me to...

CATEGORY 2: PHYSICS DEFYING RIBBONS OFFENDERS: SS Zelda and TP Zelda

I really do not understand this design choice at all. Ribbons are used to style hair in the real world all the time, but the only way I can conceivably see these ribbons staying in her hair is if they're made of velcro, or they're sticky. Either way, sounds painful. (Cosplayers how do you pull this off? I'm assuming glue?) Now, hair wrapping using string, ribbon or fabric is a common practice in many parts of the world, but you need strong tension, a full wrap around the hair, and these wraps usually begin at the scalp. An artist friend said that this was likely a way of getting around having to render braids. Which, fine, I am not an artist, but then why not just have those two locks of hair falling forward like normal? All you need to do is delete the ribbons. And if you insist on having that splash of colour, maybe you could give her some earrings or something?

CATEGORY 3: THE DE-BUTCHIFICATION OFFENDERS: OOT Zelda, Tetra

So I have no issues with the respective hair of any of these characters. My qualm is the immediacy of the transition, and the resulting sudden new length. Because I guess Zelda has to be super femme and that means she has to have long flowing locks when she transforms out of her pirate outfit/masculine sheikah disguise, so no more short hair for you! (Also, you can't be cute and femme and have melanin, apparently?? But that's a whole other issue...)

(And despite my beef with the overly chonky braids, I must give kudos to totk Zelda for righting this injustice. #shorthairzeldarights)

HONOURABLE MENTION: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN FIGHT IN THESE CONDITIONS OFFENDER: AOC Impa

I just had to include this, because I otherwise love the design for Impa in AOC, but the way I feel about this hair is similar to how most of tumblr feels about boob plate armor. You mean to tell me that this highly trained, stealth and combat expert fighter would wear her hair this long and this loose, when she is often in melee situations where someone grabbing and pulling your hair could absolutely be deadly?? Nah. (She also suffers from the same "how is your hair so thicccc??" issue as AoC/BotW Zelda)

Anyways that concludes my very silly rant. I will again add the disclaimer that I know dick all about character design, I just know how to style my thigh length hair with ribbons and braids. If you disagree, or you have any that I missed, I welcome your thoughts!