#i can really only describe it as trying to calm down a very aggressive dog who literally just saw another dog while it's being taken out fo

[angeltism]

hate getting jealous @ ppl I genuinely like and enjoy the company of for silly ass reasons

[blueboyluca]

Last night I took Topaz to club. We did this sequencing work for five minutes, then the rest of the night I worked on her chilling out. We did some good sitting on the raised bed near the field until the other dogs started running, then she had a freak out. So I moved us very far away and waited for her to offer to get on the raised bed again. Then I worked on 300 peck. We got up to 21 the first try, then she had another freak out when she heard someone's tunnel cue. So I took her away to walk around a bit, then came back.

When she got on the raised bed again, we got up to a 29 count before she jumped off – but no freak out. We then did a lap of the field and she didn't bark at anyone. Then we came back to stand near some other trainers and dogs and she only made some mild frustration sounds, which was because she wanted to get near them to be friendly rather than to be antagonistic. So that was actually nice to see.

I'm trying really hard to frame this more optimistically in my brain. That things can improve if I work at it. But I've had another week of feeling utterly terrible after she was aggressive with my grandfather, starting to worry that maybe I'll never be able to have visitors over and what if in future she bites a judge? Some things we've made good progress in and others we just plateau or go backwards and I have no idea how to move forward again.

Next week I have an appointment with a behaviour vet. I would like to get her on some medication to trial it. If I was to anthropomorphise her behaviour, I would describe her as paranoid. I think that maybe a low dose behaviour medication might be able to bring her baseline down so she's not on edge all the time when around other people and dogs. I can see that she wants to be social and play and sniff and relax, but she doesn't seem able to in many situations. We've only in the last two months managed to see consistent calmness at home.

I'm trying for this dog. I love her. I still feel crippling shame about her. I haven't told her breeder about any of this yet because frankly I don't know how. I don't know how to talk about it without it verging into either blame or shame, neither of which I want. The mean selfish part of me just feels angry that all I want is a dog to do agility with and every dog I get is wrong for it in some way. I don't know why things look effortless for so many others and I feel like I have to fight tooth and nail to just feel like things are OK. But that's not helpful to anyone, so I try to let it go.

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[emsemotional]

out of line

Okay so this is a little baby one shot  based on my mental health advocate!mickey headcanon that I posted a little while back. I used to write a lot for various fandoms back in high school, but it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, and even longer since I’ve shared anything I’ve written with anyone other than @lewslew, so please be nice- I definitely have some room to grow with characterization and timing. 

This is taking place post-finale, so I’ve taken some liberties regarding what everyone ends up doing after the series. In my mind, Mickey and Ian buy the Gallagher house themselves, because they’re Southside boys at heart and they need a backyard for their dog (duh). But they’re waiting on their Westside lease to end, so Lip, Tami and Liam are staying in the house while Lip and Debbie fix it up and renovate a little (you can find my whole hc on what everyone’s up to post-series here). I was talking to @iansfreckles a while back about a possible Gallagher/Tamietti family dinner- I’m so interested in how this would go and how the families’ dynamics would interact. SO, this takes place at said Gallagher/Tamietti family cookout, right as Lip and Tami are moving out of the house, and Ian and Mickey are moving in. Cami and Brad’s kids are with Aunt Oopie, I dunno I didn’t want to write them haha. 

Content warning: ignorant/rude comments about individuals with mental illnesses and language akin to that of the show

-

Tami had almost said no when Cory asked to bring her new boyfriend to the Gallagher house. Between the Gallagher and Tamietti families, there were going to be plenty of big personalities under one roof, as is. But Cory had actually asked this time, and she had just babysat Fred during a last minute highlight appointment. Tami had reluctantly agreed and her sister had seemed so happy that she almost forgot her hesitation. 

Looking back, Tami’s decision was questionable. Lip had been able to prepare his family for the rest of the Tamietti’s, explaining the family dynamics and topics to avoid. Chad was a wildcard.

He had burst through the front door laughing loudly beside Brad and Cami, who didn’t seem to think the joke was as funny as Chad did. Cory and Bob followed them in, annoyance clear on Bob’s face. Tami and Lip moved to the door to greet their visitors, Tami depositing Fred in Carl’s lap, where he was sitting on the couch. Carl immediately grabbed the toddler under his arms, grinning at him and lifting him up above his head, making propellor noises on his way down. 

This, this is what Tami had wanted her family to see. The Tamiettis had made it clear that while they tolerated Lip, they thought Tami could do better. They thought he was ill equipped to help raise a family, constantly doubting his ability to provide, and his dedication to his family. Tami had tried to explain Lip’s role in his own family- the patriarch of the Gallagher home, a man who had been taking care of people for his entire life. Perhaps the only way for the other Tamiettis to see the value in the Gallagher side of Fred’s family, was to observe it first hand.

Lip made it to the Tamiettis first, shaking Bob’s hand and taking the handful of bags and jackets that were thrust into his arms. 

“No show Brad!” Tami cheered, hugging her sisters, “You made it!” 

Brad rolled his eyes, lightly clapping Tami on the shoulder, “Yeah, yeah, I’m here.”

Cory turned towards her sister, a wide smile on her face, “Tam, this is Chad, the guy I was telling you about?” 

Tami turned to shake his hand, finally giving him a good look. Truth be told, he looked like every other guy Cory had seriously dated- some tall, brunette, conventionally attractive, straight laced kind of guy. He didn’t seem any different from the other business majors, fraternity boys and bar bouncers that Cory had intruded her to. 

“Tami right? So great to meet you, thanks for inviting me!” 

“Of course, nice to meet you too! Come on in, you guys!” 

The Tamiettis settled into the living room, Cami choosing the seat next to Carl, cooing down to Fred, “There’s my favorite nephew! How are you sweet boy?” 

She ran a gentle hand across Fred’s head before introducing herself to Carl, “I’m Cami, Tami’s sister.” Carl swallowed a smirk at the rhyming names, nodding, “Carl, Lip’s brother.”

“Ah, the one buying the house?” 

“Nah, that’s Ian and Mickey, they’re upstairs somewhere. I’m the cop,” Carl stated proudly.

“Fuck the police!” Mickey’s voice called into the living room in response, as a flash of red and black hair came tumbling down the stairs. All the Tamiettis turned to watch Mickey jog through the living room with Franny on his shoulders, Ian chasing after them. 

“Get him Uncle Mickey!” Franny squealed, “He’s gonna catch us!”

“I’m a little busy running, kid. Hit ‘em or somethin’,” Mickey grunted, scrambling to hand his niece a rubber ball previously balanced on the back of the couch. 

Franny wound up her arm, tossing the ball at Ian’s head with all her six year old might, “Take that, Uncle Ian! You’re dead!”

Ian groaned dramatically, clutching his face and sliding onto the ground. He let out a theatrical sign and closed his eyes, finally defeated. 

Franny cheered as Mickey lifted her off his shoulders, “We did it! We killed him!” Franny dropped down to the ground to check that Ian had accepted his defeat, poking him in the back with the toe of her shoe.

Mickey gave her a crinkly grin, the kind he reserved for Franny and Ian alone- unguarded and childlike. “Sure did! Pretty badass if you ask me.” 

Ian got to his feet, tickling Franny’s stomach as he addressed the room, “Hey, sorry we were in the middle of… a game.” 

“Liquor store robbery!” Franny cheerfully announced. 

 Franny began introducing herself to the unfamiliar faces, sharing that she was in the first grade, enjoyed playing with guns, and wanted to be a welder like her mommy when she grew up. As Liam and Debbie descended the stairs, and the rest of the Gallaghers and Tamiettis introduced themselves, Tami marveled at how smoothly things seemed to be going. No one was yelling, or aggressively drunk, or making a thinly veiled classist comment- yet. 

The two families quickly settled into a comfortable chatter of introductions and the conversation, surprisingly, continued to flow without a hitch. They soon made their way outside, where Debbie and Bob chatted while manning the grill. The other family members scattered across the yard- Liam sat in a lawn chair typing on a laptop, occasionally asking Lip for grammar advice. Ian, in the middle of telling some wild story from his EMT days, was fully emerged in conversation with the rest of the Tamietti family while Mickey and Carl considered how many crimes Carl could theoretically arrest him for, arguing over how many years Mickey would have to serve. 

Everything was great- until Chad decided to open his mouth. They had finished dinner and were crammed into the living room, escaping the Chicago windchill. Chad was sharing one of his own work stories from the construction site he worked on, describing a man who had wandered onto the site and started yelling at Chad and some of his coworkers that week.

“Totally off his rocker,” Chad commented, “He kept telling us about how we were tearing down his house, and that he didn’t give us permission to do this. Just screaming at us, swearing, and he wouldn’t listen when we kept telling him that he trespassing, y’know? Just super crazy- needed a fucking Xanax or something.” 

Ian tensed, fiddling with the ring on his left hand while the other Gallaghers exchanged pointed glances. Tami began to interrupt, clearly in attempt to change the subject, but Chad continued. 

“The next day,” he explained, “the very next day, he came up to us and was asking to bum a smoke, like he didn’t fucking flip his crazy ass on us yesterday, I swear he must’ve been like bipolar or something, acting like we were old pals. Must’ve gotten carted off or killed or something, haven’t seen him since.” 

While the Tamiettis offered a polite chuckle, the Gallaghers remained silent. 

Mickey, who had been sitting on the couch next to Ian, looked up from his folded hands. “So you got something against bipolar people? It’s a fucking mental illness man.” 

Chad smiled, backtracking, “Hey, nah, calm down. He’s just some crazy homeless dude, who cares?” 

“He’s not just some crazy guy, he’s a person with a disease, the fuck’s wrong with you?” Mickey asked. 

Ian placed a hand on his husband’s shoulder shaking his head. “Mick, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”

Eyebrows raised comically high, Mickey stood and crossed his arms. “Um, fuck that, it does matter! You’re not a fucking punchline Ian. This is our house, yours and mine, and no one’s going to be talking like that in my house. Obviously no one else is going to say something, and you shouldn’t have to, so I will. I won’t stand for that shit.”

The Tamiettis exchanged horrified looks as the Gallaghers mostly just looked at the floor. Finally Lip spoke up from where he was standing by the TV, “Mental health is uh… a sensitive subject around here. We just… we take it seriously, y’know? First hand experiences and shit.” 

Cory opened her mouth to speak but she quickly stopped when she saw Tami swiftly shake her head in her direction, suggesting she stay out of it. 

Mickey lightly rubbed his eyebrow, “Yo, douchebag, apologize or get the hell out of my house.”

Chad raised his hands in surrender, “I didn’t realize it was such a big deal man, sorry.”

Mickey rolled his eyes with a huff, turning on his heel to walk towards the back of the house. Wordlessly, Ian followed him out the back door, leaving the living room in a heavy silence.

After a moment, Chad breaks the silence, “Look, I really didn’t mean to start something, I was just telling a story. Should I go out and apologize again, try to talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Liam replied, “You should give Mickey some time to cool off.” 

“Yeah,” Lip agreed, “I wouldn’t follow them out. Mickey… he gets protective? Always has been, of Ian. Our mom was bipolar, and so’s Ian. He’s stable, doing great, but he’s, uh, he’s been through a lot. It’s just not good joke material around here.”

Chad nodded, silence overtaking the room again. Franny looked up from her coloring book, clearly bored with the turn the night had taken.

“I’m gonna go play with Uncle Mickey and cheer him up!” 

Debbie chuckled from her seat across the room, “Yeah, go bring them some beers Franny.” 

“Okay!” Franny chirped, hopping to her feet and skipping into the kitchen. Debbie gave a soft smile as she watched her daughter, on the way to hang out with her favorite uncles. 

-

From his seat on the back stairs, Ian watched Mickey pace through the yard, grumbling about “Fucking Northside yuppies… and their ignorant bigoted asses… what the fuck is wrong with people?” He glanced over at Ian, his expression softening when he noticed the defeated look on Ian’s face. Mickey paused his pacing, coming to sit next to Ian on the steps. 

“I’m sorry, I know I prolly embarrassed you. Was I out of line man? I just got so fucking mad,” Mickey quietly mumbled, looking down at his hands in his lap. 

Ian gently shook his head, “Don’t apologize. You weren’t out of line… I think I’m just disappointed, y’know? That comments like that still get to me? I should be over it by now, every reminder that I’m sick or different shouldn’t still sting like that. And why do I have to be the one that the conflict and the drama revolves around? Why not fucking Carl or Liam or god… anyone else just for once?

Mickey’s expression softened even further. He nudged his knee into Ian’s leg, “What’s that shit you told me when Terry died? Trauma doesn’t always make fucking sense and recovery isn’t… oh shit, what’s the word? Linear! Recovery isn’t linear. Doesn’t make you fucking weak, just means you’ve been through some shit.”

“Yeah. I guess it was easier to tell you that than it is to tell myself.” 

Mickey hummed in agreement and the two sat in silence for a moment before the back door creaked open. A tiny red head shoved her way through the doorway, arms wrapped tightly around two bottles, frosty with condensation. Franny sat down on the steps between them, silently handing her uncles their beers. Ian accepted his with a dry chuckle, thanking her. Mickey ruffled her hair, offering a small smile. The voices from inside had faded and the night was relatively calm, other than the occasional siren or dog barking. 

Franny, not looking particularly concerned, looked up at them to ask, “Uncle Mickey, why’d you get mad at that guy?”

Mickey rubbed at his eyebrow and let out a sigh. He looked towards Ian, a silent request for him to take the lead on this conversation. He was confident in his ability to discuss the stupidity of princesses or the importance of wearing gloves during a legitimate liquor store robbery with his niece. He knew how to play, and joke, and how to be there when she woke up from a bad dream, stumbling down the stairs with bedhead and snotty tears. Mickey had grown into his role as an uncle, but he still doubted his ability to talk about the tough stuff with anyone other than Ian. 

Ian cleared his throat, taking a second before asking, “Franny, do you know what it means to make a joke at someone else’s expense?” 

Franny’s eyebrows scrunched together and she shook her head. 

“It’s when you make a joke to kind of make fun of someone else. Like to tease them. Y’know how we make cop jokes around Uncle Carl because he’s a cop?”

She nodded, and Ian continued, “That guy… Aunt Tami’s sister’s boyfriend, was making a joke and it ended up being at my expense. That’s what made Uncle Mickey mad. He didn’t mean to make fun of me, but he kind of did. That’s all. Uncle Mickey was just sticking up for me.”

Franny sat for a moment, deep in thought. “I didn’t know he was talking about you.”

“No, he wasn’t. Not directly. He was telling a story about someone else. But he made a comment about him being bipolar. D’you remember when we talked about that? That I have bipolar disorder?” 

Franny nodded, “That’s why you take your special medicine.”

Ian continued, “A lot of people don’t really understand what that means, and sometimes they make jokes about it that aren’t really funny. They’re just kind of… mean. So that’s why we got upset.”

Franny considered this for a minute and asked, “Do you want me to go tell mommy? She says I should tell her if someone’s being mean. She can fix it.” 

Ian smiled a little, patting her little back and shaking his head, “Nah, mommy already knows, she heard. And I think Uncle Mickey did a pretty good job telling him that what he said was wrong.” 

Mickey let out a sarcastic laugh, “And I got more to say to that piece of shit if I ever see his Northside yuppy fucking face again.”

“I think he got the point Mick,” Ian sighed, “Don’t waste your time.” 

Franny shrugged “Mommy and Uncle Lip and Aunt Tami were all still talking in there when I left. Mommy told me it was a good idea for me to come out here.” 

Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand, bumping their shoulders together. “Whatcha wanna do, man? We can head back to the apartment, go to the Alibi and get tanked, I don’t care, it’s up to you.”

“Don’t know, I’m tired of running from things. And you were right Mick, it’s our fucking house. Could we just sit out here for a little while?” Mickey ran a thumb across Ian’s hand and mumbles so quietly, in that voice he only uses with Ian- “‘Course we can”

Having completed her task of delivering beers, Franny stood up and put her hands on her hips, “I’m going to go inside, I won’t let anyone be mean to you Uncle Ian.”

Ian looked up to lock eyes with his niece, “I appreciate it Fran, thanks.” 

She stood up and gave Ian a kiss on the top of his head, no doubt a gesture she’d picked up from some other family member, likely Mickey or Fiona. Ian smiled as she turned away to walk back into the kitchen.

After a few minutes Ian jerked his head towards the door, “Y’ready?” 

Mickey hummed in agreement, standing and offering back his hand to help Ian up. They walked over the threshold of the kitchen into a conversation clearly about Mickey’s exchange with Chad. The Tamiettis were all sitting down in the living room, with the Gallaghers mostly standing, leaning against the various remaining surfaces. Lip’s hands were in his hair, a plain indication of his frustration and exhaustion. Tami abruptly stopped talking, in the middle of what seemed like an impassioned rant. She seemed unsure of how to continue now that Ian and Mickey had reentered the house. Debbie, sat on the couch with Franny in her lap, was scowling, while Liam absently stared at the wall, clearly wishing he were anywhere else. Carl quickly walked into the kitchen from where he had been leaning up against the living room door frame, clapping Ian on the shoulder.

“Hey, why don’t you guys go take a walk or something for a sec- I think Lip and Tami have it handled.”

Lip spoke up from the living room, “Yeah, it’s okay.”

Mickey tensed, bracing himself. “No, it’s not fucking okay Phillip-“

Lip grumbled something about that not being what he meant, shaking his head, while Ian quietly interrupted his husband, forcing him to make eye contact. 

“No, it’s not, but I don’t want to just keep going over it, Mick. I’m not in the mood to educate him. I’m not saying it’s okay, but I want to move on. Lip can handle it.”

Carl nodded and repeated himself, “Go take a walk, come back in ten. Lip and Tami got it.” 

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a joint and pressing it into Ian’s palm with a smirk. 

“Rolled this for later, you guys take it.”

Ian raised an eyebrow at Mickey, who let out a sigh with a slouch, “Fine. Be back in ten.”

-

The two of them return to the backyard, Tami’s yelling resumed, her voice carrying all the way outside. 

 “M’sorry, I know I keep talkin’ when you just want it to be over with,” Mickey mumbled, looking down at the dead grass in the vacant lot beside the house.

 Ian grabbed him by the back of his neck, fingers brushing through Mickey’s short hair, “Hey, no. I… I appreciate you sticking up for me- seriously. I’m just tired… tonight’s not supposed to be about me y’know? It’s supposed to be about Lip and Tami, and Fred, not me. I just wanted to be Lip’s brother tonight, not the crazy brother, the sick brother. I just don’t wanna be the one that causes the issues anymore.” 

“You didn’t cause this Ian. You being bipolar didn’t fucking cause this- that asshole, opening his mouth and not knowing when to shut it- that’s what caused it. I get that you just wanna let it go, and I will, but if he say’s something else-“

“If he says something else you can beat the shit out of him.”

Mickey grinned, looking up to meet Ian’s gaze. “Fucking fantastic. You wanna smoke this bitch?” 

He grabbed the joint out of Ian’s hand and pulled a lighter from his flannel’s front pocket.

Ian finally cracked a smile, one that actually reaches his eyes, “Free weed? Fuck yeah.”

Mickey tossed the lighter to Ian, who caught it and lit the joint with a practiced flick. He took a couple hits and closed his eyes, smiling again as he exhaled the smoke. He handed the lit joint over to Mickey, along with his lighter and jerked his head in the direction of the van in the backyard, “Wanna go sit?” 

Mickey nodded and breathed in a sharp inhale, heading in the direction of the passenger seat door. 

Ian climbed up into the drivers seat, letting out a deep sigh, “Feel like I’m in high school again- sneaking around with you, trying to find somewhere to be alone.” Mickey chuckled and passed the joint back over.

 They smoked in silence for a while, Ian nudging Mickey with his elbow as the ember approaches the filter, “You want the last hit?” 

“Nah man, that’s yours,” Mickey shakes his head.

Ian took it, stubbing out the butt on the van’s dashboard and tossing it onto the floor. 

“Still wanna kick his ass?” He asked, lazily turning his head towards Mickey with a grin.

Mickey rolled his eyes, “I think I can contain myself.”

“Yeah?” Ian breathed, inching his face closer to his husband’s. The moon, freshly risen, highlighted Ian’s face, illuminating the dash of freckles across his nose.

Mickey didn’t answer, opting to close the distance between them, pressing a soft kiss to Ian’s lips. Ian’s hand came up to cradle Mickey’s face, thumb gently brushing his cheek.

And if they didn’t make it back inside for a while, so be it. 

[wedreamedlove]

MLQC Men Headcanon Notes

Now that I’ve spent more time with these men (it’s getting close to 2 years!) I wanted to share the general thoughts, themes, motifs, etc. that I keep in mind when I’m writing their character.

This is 1000% headcanon territory, so feel free to take what’s useful and ignore what’s not LOL but I’d also love to see people add in their own “character reference cheat sheet” to this!

(I’m especially curious because, due to being of Asian diaspora, I write best in English but my understanding of the characters come from CN/JP text). Incidentally, if anyone feels ANY of this when reading my fics, then that’s all I could ever ask for LOL.

LI ZEYAN

He is Capricorn² and, while the game doesn���t make explicit mentions to this, I associate the element earth with him because of this. He’s described with attributes like being steady, calm, and always in control. He is the epitome of an immovable boulder and things revolve around him, not the other way around. I like to draw on imagery of unbending steel and/or the stable ground.

Meanwhile, like the goat of his astrological sign, every step he takes to climb to his goal is assured. He doesn’t do anything spontaneous or without thought, so if he does lose control and act without thinking then it has to be a momentuous occasion. Basically, it’s really important to me that if I write a loss of control, then it’s likely to be the centerpiece.

Keeping in mind that his Evol is time control, I also like to try and subtly weave an atmosphere of how everything happens at his pace. Winter being his season only adds onto this because the world stills when it’s covered in snow; everything becomes muted, hushed, and slowed in this season.

The chemistry in his romance arc is how his pace and control gets disturbed, but he adapts quickly and learns to go along with these moments of whimsy. Or more like that’s his character development and how love changes him.

His canon (spirit) animal is the cat and lion. Felines go along very well with the emperor or noble archetypes he has in all his AU cards, because cats are stereotyped as being independent and haughty animals. He’s not big on PDA or excessive skinship, but he’s not disagreeable to them either. Too much stimulation and, like a cat, he’ll probably show exasperation. Ignore him for too long though and he’ll come to share his presence with you.

For me, his love is shown through quiet acts of service that don’t have any attention drawn to them. Him just being in the same room or giving his attention is how he emotes his love.

He’s quite low-key in his normal life so he doesn’t seem like someone who gets confused over commoner things, but there are also moments where he spends an enormous amount of money without blinking. If life can be made easier with money then why not, right?

Keywords: Calm. Steady. Earth. Immovable. Control. Exasperated Affection. Time. Cats. Literal Capricorn. Winter. Mature.

ZHOU QILUO

First thing that comes to mind is the sun and heat. Fire is his element and so I go for stereotypical imagery like flares of passion and burning bright. He switches expressions and moods at the drop of a hat and he’s a mood maker to the extreme, but there’s no hiding the way he shines with his love for his love.

However, because he’s also Helios, it’s really important for me to play around with dualities and explore the other side of this positive imagery. So, just like how the sun can bring warmth and life, it’s also a deadly laser something that can hurt people by blinding them or setting fires. It’s also fun to remember that the moon only has light from the sun’s reflection.

Game-wise, I believe Helios has been described with cold and ice imagery but, because I try to keep that imagery for Li Zeyan, what I like to consider instead is that extremely cold things can “burn” you too. Frostbite can also be called ice burn.

The sky is repeated imagery for Luoluo too, because of his eyes, but I’ll admit I’m still uncertain about how to interpret this for his character. Generally, the sky represents freedom but...? How I approach this is that the sky doesn’t discriminate and protects everyone below it (echoing his quote about how he protects the light in the dark).

On this note about the sky being welcoming, I view Luoluo’s love as one that accepts his love no matter what they’re like and he grows together with them (unlike the two adults, Li Zeyan and Xu Mo).

However, again, it’s super important to remember his duality and just because he’s a playful mood maker doesn’t mean he’s not able to switch into a serious and mature mode. He keeps his innocence and warm heart despite the darkness he’s seen and understands.

His canon animal is the bear which also makes me tilt my head. I can only see this as how bears are seen as both cuddly and cute, but also fierce and protective. He was also given a stag but... no one uses that LOL.

Keywords: Fire. Passion. Playful. Innocent. Little Sun! But Moon. Spring. Sacrifice. Darkness. Sky. Mischievous. Mood Maker.

BAI QI

Every single cell in his body is attuned to his love. You ever lose your phone and then, for the rest of the day, you feel as if you’re missing an important piece of yourself and you have intrusive thoughts wondering where it is? That’s him. You ever see something so cute you experience cute aggression and don’t know what to do with yourself? That’s him. You know those dogs that strain at their leashes on the streets because they want to go and greet you? That’s him.

It’s all about the yearning.

I know, I know, I wrote essays about how he can survive without his love and how he’s someone who carries both love and a greater justice BUT let’s not kid ourselves that he doesn’t revolve around his love like Jupiter around the sun.

Anyway, so the game shoves wind descriptions down our throats. It’s literally another vehicle for him to emote his love and, to be honest, I don’t do much with it other than use it for that. I talked about it extensively in my character essays, but I suppose I play with the irony of how he’s only free because he has a home can return to. [Loneliness SR Wind and Care Call] “Because I have a place for my heart, I can fly anywhere.”

I don’t believe the game emphasizes this any more than it does with the other men, but I try to always have a point of contact between Bai Qi and his love because, again, the yearning and vibrating with All That Love. He’s such a physical character (military archetype) that I also want to emphasize that in writing.

In addition, I’m all about him being the most feral of the men. Heck, his canon animal is the wolf which is great for both its stereotypical and non-stereotypical meanings, such as being a lone wolf and ferocious animal but also a pack animal that can’t survive on its own and needs a pack. Meanwhile, NW717 is described in-game as a monster.

Look, one of his signature descriptions in the game is resting his chin on or against his love’s head and nuzzling them. I’m not baselessly trying to push my kink I swear.

So, like how Bai Qi said in [Light Bath SSR: Tenderness Call] that maybe he only shows his gentleness towards select people (his love and mother), he’ll give the person he loves all the warmth of his being but, oh boy, I see him as being a beast who will remember his true nature upon being chained; the “chain” of love gives him the reassurance he needs to be truly free... in all its meanings.

Keywords: Ginkgo. Summer. Primal. Wind. Love is love is love. 3-Point Contact. Wolf. Yearning. Vitality. Justice. Freedom. Physical. Restraint.

XU MO

First, given how vocal I am about Elex’s changes, this is probably going to be the most drastically different section out of everyone vs. their English version.

Soft. Light. Gentle. Kind. Gossamery. Feathery. Ethereal. Faint. Whenever I write him, do I literally open up a thesaurus to find synonyms for gentle, light, and soft? Yup! LOL.

Fun fact, in CN and JP the word for “smile” and “laugh” is the same character and so sometimes there is ambiguity when translating if there’s no clear markers. The writers definitely had a word in mind when they wrote the scene, but unfortunately we don’t have the ability to check with them at every use and so sometimes it does come to subjective interpretation.

For me, Xu Mo is characterized by a lot of quietness. Game-wise, there are enormous usages of silence and descriptions of emotional fluctuations in his eyes so Significant Silences and Looks are a major thing with him and in my writing for him, which is why I always choose “smile” over “laugh” if there is any ambiguity in the line (I believe Elex leans towards chuckles).

On a similar note, the game also gives him a gigantic serving of descriptions that only ever use the word for “light, slight, faint, soft, gentle” in JP and CN. It gives him a very floaty and dreamy feeling, even if he’s doing something physical. So, it’s important for me to keep a similar atmosphere when writing and make everything feel as if it has to be shared in a whisper.

A bonus here is that it doesn’t require much to turn this ethereal feeling into a melancholic one, so you get that dash of angst that layers over everything. Leave a few things unknown here and there, incomplete actions, eyes that get averted and Boom. Angst.

Shifting gears, but if my imagery of Bai Qi’s love is like a tense, vibrating, and restrained chain of yearning then Xu Mo’s love is like a flood barely being held back by a dam. Knowledge of the quantity and weight behind the dam is terrifying, but it’s safe to be submerged inside it. Much like Luoluo and Helios, Xu Mo also has a dangerous duality in Ares and so I also like to play with this imagery.

So, on this point, I like to preserve an underlying sense of darkness (all-consuming possessiveness, etc.) and envision that he also wishes to stain his love in his colors, like a drop of ink on white paper and how it seeps into every fiber of the paper until the whole thing is saturated with him.

Incidentally, I’m reminded that—whenever possible and natural—I want to exclusively use water imagery with Xu Mo. The game supports this too! He is described with extensive water imagery and so I try to use water metaphors, analogies, and similes.

I try to make sure every sense is present, but I feel like the game emphasizes (especially with the red thread of fate imagery) that Xu Mo and his love are connected at a soul-deep level and so I always keep in mind a mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect.

Lastly, his canon animal is the fox (we ignore the black goat LOL) so contrasting his elegant, scholarly, and gentleman’s air with a black belly, teasing, and mischievous air is also important! Sexual but with, you know, class.

Keywords: Butterflies. Monochrome. Artist. Red Thread. Autumn. Melancholy. Water. Soft. Gentle. Light. Faint. Dreams. Spiritual. Fox.

LING XIAO

I’m getting more comfortable with him, but he’s still shrouded in so much mystery. If every one of the other men treat their loves with gentleness though Ling Xiao is definitely one who isn’t afraid of roughhousing. He’ll act first and then ask for forgiveness afterward, if needed.

But I like to keep in mind that, for all his roughness, he’s still a good kid at heart and when he saw MC’s skirt rising up when he tried to pull her over the fence he immediately stopped. So, a bit of a bully but without any humiliation.

Intelligent, strong, and dangerous but hiding all of that beneath a devil-may-care attitude and someone who does things on a whim. I don’t know what to do much with his canon animal being the shark except to attach it vaguely to this point and think that, as an apex predator of the sea, it does things at its own pace (somehow, it gives me the image that he likes to bite... but, uh, that’s probably just me LOL).

Keywords: Mercurial. Lightning. Sarcasm. Physical.

[bilbao-song]

heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>

first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted

sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.

anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol

.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):

so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15

THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry

also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild

to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!

anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho

to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow

tl;dr: yes

[undertaker1827]

Hi!! May I request Sebastian and Ronald w a s/o that sleep talks? She rarely does but when she does sleep talk its just her yelling out iconic meme? Bonus of the sleep talking get progressively more aggressive, like its starts w “put GERARD BaCk!” And then the next time she yells “bitch gon step on my fucking toe bitch w them fucking cowgirl fucking boots bitch DIGOISTIN” (oki ik this is so old but its iconic😂😅)

Why hello yes of course you can!! Sorry this took me so long to write, hope it’s what you wanted I tried so hard I really did ahhh

Masterlist

-

Sebastian Michælis

You had never really been one to talk in your sleep. Given that mostly Sebastian avoided doing it all together - he didn’t actually need to sleep as a demon - he would often just hold you while you rested. If he had nothing to do which involved a deadline, he found laying with you to be quite the comfort after a long day filled with incompetent servants and constant complaints from his Young Lord over wifi speed. If Sebastian had told the boy they’d got the fastest broadband anywhere, he’d done it a thousand times. He would allow his hand to stroke back through your hair, fingertips lightly grazing your scalp whilst you slept peacefully as he mulled over the days events. Granted, it gave him time to think, but more importantly he enjoyed knowing you were safe, finding that the thought gave him peace of mind.

One night, he was doing just that. You had gone to sleep a couple of hours ago, Sebastian laying on his back and you curled into his side, your head resting on his chest and him holding you tightly. You were slumbering peacefully, or at least he thought you were. You had started mumbling something intelligible, though Sebastian had to remark to himself that you sounded incredibly confused. He continued to listening to your mumbling until you finally came up with a sentence he could understand. You turned to face the demon, eyes open wide and expression entirely serious, stating, “Road work ahead? Yeah, I sure hope it does!” You proceeded to close your eyes and bury your face in Sebastian’s chest, resuming your usual calm breathing pattern as if nothing had ever happened. So amused was the demon at your apparent distress that his hand had paused, half hidden in your hair and his shoulders were jumping with silent laughter that he didn’t even try to cover up.

The next time you talked in your sleep, some several months later, you had rushed in from work, collapsed on Sebastian’s sofa then lost consciousness about five minutes later. From what you had told him, it was something of a stressful day and there was one colleague in particular you were ready to murder in cold blood. When you started mumbling, he immediately rushed to your side, phone in hand and determined to catch whatever you said this time on video. He still remembered your nervous confusion from the last time so clearly that it sounded like you were speaking aloud every time he thought of it and chuckled at the thought of something similar happening again. By the end of a good 20 minutes, all recorded so that the viewer would be entirely unaware of Sebastian’s silent chuckling, you had told someone to come back as you hadn’t finished insulting them yet, claimed you “sits but did not fits”, accused someone else of having harboured a red dot the entire time and ended with a disgusted “I had fun once. It was awful.”

When you woke up half an hour later, Sebastian immediately brandished his phone in your face to make you watch something he claimed was inordinately funny, without telling you what it was first. As you watched sleeping-you gradually get more upset through the video, your smirk grew until you were laughing long with your boyfriend.

“I knew it!” You announced at last, “My soul and Grumpy Cat’s are linked!!”

However, it was your most recent escapade, in Sebastian’s mind at least, which was the best. It was once again the middle of the night, Sebastian holding you close as you slept blissfully on. You started muttering something he couldn’t decipher, then quietened down again, only to start up once more. As he listened to your slurred speech, he decided what you were doing would be better classed as grumbling than muttering, clearly very annoyed over something. Then, and this was the only way he could possibly describe it, your grumbling simply intensified. It continued doing so until you were practically yelling, but he couldn’t understand a word you were saying. That was until the very last moment, when you screamed, demonically if he did say so himself then claimed in a false, almost sing-song tone, “Everything’s fine.” Having said your piece, you flopped back down, face buried in a pillow and said nothing more for the remainder of the night. If Sebastian’s eyes held a little of a glimmer in the morning than usual, you certainly thought it suited him - though you were ignorant as to what had caused it.

Ronald Knox

Ronald had been entirely unaware that you talked in your sleep at all. You had never mentioned it to him, either by way of warning or whilst relating a funny story that had come about because of something you said unconsciously, and it became apparent to him that his was because you had no idea you did it. You barely ever spoke a word, but sometimes, sometimes you did; these cases were, in Ronald’s opinion, some of the most iconic things you ever said.

He first discovered your sleep talking when he had come in very late from dispatch, having been left with mountains of paperwork, and quietly slipped into bed next to you. He gave a lopsided grin when you automatically moved closer to him until you were wrapped securely in his arms with your head resting on your shoulder. The reaper found he couldn’t get to sleep immediately, so instead settled for taking in your slightly dishevelled, beautiful appearance. Some of your hair was pressed into a strange angle from how you had been laying and he couldn’t see your glittering eyes, but all he could think was how amazing you were. He was disrupted from his thoughts quite quickly though. You began muttering, sounding most distressed, however he was able to pick our at least part of what you said.

“I’m disgusted, I’m revolted, I dedicate my entire life to my Lord and Saviour and this is the thanks I get.” By the end of your speech, you had curled up into a ball and all but hidden your face from Ronald entirely. The reaper couldn’t help his grin as he put a hand up to your back and ran it along your spine comfortingly, soothing you as best he could. He only hoped you would wake up before he left for work in the morning so he could tell you what had happened.

It wasn’t until a few months later that you talked in your sleep again. This time, you had been watching something of a movie marathon with Ronald only for your eyes to drift close halfway through the third film, head falling heavily onto his shoulder despite your best efforts to stay awake. The reaper was neither surprised nor bothered by this development, simply continuing to watch the film with an arm slung securely over you. You both stayed like this for a long time, the film a good two thirds of the way through, when you started shifting around a little bit, a hand moving to grip his arm. Then, you whined. Literally whined, as though you were a heartsick dog. That alone brought a lopsided grin to Ronald’s face, but what really did him in was when you started telling someone how nice their hair looked, then followed it up with, “Why can’t you just tAke thE cOmpLimeeEEE-” which just descended into unintelligible whining again. Honestly, he was surprised his laughter didn’t wake you up. He couldn’t even keep a straight face when he related the story to you later on.

His favourite instance, however, occurred when you had spent the day walking around London together, just exploring the streets and seeing things you had never really taken much notice of before. It was late when you got back and you decided to stay over at Ronald’s place rather than make your way back to your own. You had both settled down, slumbering in each other’s embrace when your loud, frantic voice yelled out through the room, startling Ronald awake even as you carried on sleeping.

“Din-din in T minus five seconds!!” The reaper almost fell out of the bed in shock, whipping around to see where the threat was only to realise what your actual words were. A chuckle escaped his lips as his gaze fell back to your sleeping form, face pressed against a soft pillow. He leaned down, intending to lay a gentle kiss on your shoulder. As it happened, you threw an arm out to the side so suddenly that he didn’t have time to catch it or dodge, meaning he got smacked straight across the face. You jumped up to scream, “Evacuate the kItcHEN!!” Proceeding to lay down again and resume peacefully resting as if nothing at all had happened. You had left Ronald sitting up with a hand pressed against one eye, the other held in front of him to fend you off if necessary yet a smirk still on his lips. He soon descended into full on, cackling laughter, so loud that he startled you awake and was left incapable of telling you what happened for a good ten minutes, though during that time you managed to pry his hand away from his face to find he had a blossoming black eye. You were mortified when you discovered that you were the one who had given it to him, but that just made it funnier for him.

[regrettablewritings]

Can I request a Love head canon with Geralt please? I just read the pre-relationship one you did for Jaskier and I absolutely loved it!!

I mean... I can try 😅 Though, I think it should go without saying that Geralt isn’t exactly synonymous with love and affection as we relatively human beings interpret them . . .

Who said “I love you” first?: Assuming we’re sticking strictly to the verbal expression of the phrase, I believe you already know the answer to this. After all, it’s simply not in Geralt’s nature to be the most talkative person, much less vulnerable and affectionate. And that’s referring to his nature as being Geralt of Rivia and not specifically his nature of being a Witcher. You could wait an entire run of three human lifetimes and still potentially have to wait just a bit more to hear Geralt willingly say, “I love you” in this manner. It’s nothing against you, of course, but it’s better for you to recognize this and accept it than force otherwise. Besides, it’s not as though he doesn’t appreciate it: Deep down, Geralt is beyond startled that you would willingly apply such affection and devotion to him of all people, and a Witcher at that! Though, if you’re willing to stretch the expression one uses for “I Love you”, then it’s arguable that Geralt said it first, in some way, considering that . . .

What are their primary love languages?: Geralt is a very . . . sexual being. Physically aggressive. And considering his complex relationship with Yennefer, it therefore would stand to reason that his primary expression of “love” comes in the form of physical touch. Hell, if love languages were a thing acknowledged of the period (and if Geralt ever even cared to acknowledge them), he might’ve grunted and agreed so himself, even if only to get the conversation over faster. But the longer he spends having you as his companion, the more evident it becomes to him that this may not be the case. The thing is, physical touch can be more than just sexual release -- but for him, that’s all it ever was, simply because it was easier for him to do when Yennefer was still around. But since then, he’s come to recognize that perhaps he has more to offer than he gave himself credit for: Geralt operates through acts of service. Geralt is never going to be the most openly expressive one of the bunch, even when it pertains to you. But he’s always going to show his care for those whom he has a soft spot for by assuring their safety and well-being -- in odds and ends, so to speak. He’s never going to write you sonnets or wax poetically to you; he will rarely hold your hand just for the sake of doing so, or be the best at offering words that could technically be comprehended as affectionate. But when he notices you’re tired, he won’t hesitate to place you on Roach’s back -- an absolute honor, considering his protectiveness towards the mare. He’ll make sure that you’re warm and sheltered when you break camp, even if it comes at the cost of his own comfort (not that he feels much of a difference after this point anyway). If he thinks you may be doing something or even considering doing something that might put you in harm’s way or cause you mental or emotional pain, he’s unafraid to shoot that shit down (he loves you enough to let you hate him, so to speak). It may be the bare minimum that he saves you from a death of cold or starvation or hazardous encounters, but for him, it’s a way of showing he at least respects your right to continue living. He doesn’t really expect anything back besides respect. And perhaps some . . . physical comforts. But, once again, to his surprise, he’s not solely focused on physical touch when it comes to you. At least, not as intensely as he normally would be. What Geralt specifically appreciates form you is words of affirmation. But only from you: None of that showy, obnoxious nonsense that Jaskier calls music. Geralt likes feeling recognized as a person, questionable as that sort of title might actually be. He just likes being talked to to a degree, over small things. The affirmations come where you openly appreciate him for his efforts and bravery, and even when you thank him for taking care of you. Being a Witcher is a thankless job. But hearing you appreciate him for everything, big and small, and acknowledging his more humanistic traits at the same time? It does him more good than both you and he ever thought it could.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?: The closest you get is when the two of you are either in a very crowded market place or are running and you’re having trouble keeping up: He’ll hold your hand to assure you don’t get separated or left behind. There’s also, of course, the preservation of body heat when the both of you wind up breaking camp on a particularly cold night.  But other than that, I wouldn’t expect much in the ways of affection.

What are their favorite things to do together?: The lifestyle you both lead (well, that Geralt leads -- you simply adopted it by association) doesn’t exactly lend itself well to couples’ hobbies . . . But the two of you haven’t bitten each other’s throats out yet, so clearly you’re doing something right, no? You aren’t quite sure what it is, but you heavily suspect that it might be when you ask Geralt to tell you about the creatures he’s encountered. Not in the “Tell Me Stories of Your Amazing Feats” kind of way, but more so in a manner of “Please Make Me Aware of the Weird, Strange, and Horrific Beings Lurking in This World and How To Combat Them”. Which suits Geralt well enough, as he tends to skimp on the details and doesn’t care to describe battles or anything of the sort. He knows that you’ll never be a Witcher, but it surely couldn’t hurt you to have an awareness of the world around you. Besides, he’s witnessed far too often the slaughtering of perfectly harmless creatures due to ignorance -- he feels a sense of relief when you express an interest in learning how to differentiate beasts with intentions of harm and beasts that simply want to be left alone unless provoked.

Who’s better at comforting the other?: Neither of you is especially great at it, but for different reasons. Though it should at least be said that you’re better skilled at comforting than Geralt is: You by far are the more emotionally available and intelligent one between the two of you, so the efforts you put forward are at least more overt. However, given that Geralt is a rather standoffish person and not especially prone to expressing vulnerabilities of any kind, it’s hard for you to know if you’re getting through to him. He won’t make it blatantly obvious if something is bothering him unless it’s bothering him in a way that earns his aggression -- and even then, he doesn’t need comfort, he needs you to gently chide him and calm him down as one does to an agitated horse or dog. Or a wolf, in this case. Meanwhile, Geralt . . . just isn’t the best at comforting people. At least, not in the most traditional sense. When he tries to be, it comes off very awkwardly, the words not filled confidence as much as they are hesitancy. It’s only made worse by the fact that his gruff, barely-used voice just isn’t compatible with the words he tries to use. Which is why he feels the best he can really offer to do is just say nothing at all. He won’t reject you or even flinch if you were to bury yourself into his side, instead just slowly placing an arm around you and trying to give a consoling, if stiff, pat on the back. Please know that this is him trying his best, and that he’ll be far more relieved than you’ll be if you actually do find some semblance of comfort in his seemingly low-effort efforts.

Who’s more protective?: Geralt wouldn’t consider what he does protection -- it’s simply what he, well, does. He’s always fighting creatures (and people) in self-defense or for a cause of some kind. And whenever Jaskier joins the two of you, or once Ciri becomes a part of his life, the job only intensifies. Him keeping you alive is simply common decency, lover or not. But if one were to ask someone who’s more emotionally observant like, say, a certain bard who occasionally accompanies the two of you, then he would beg to differ: Geralt is fiercely protective of you, he just does so quietly. Contrary to his stony nature,he does value your well-being. And even if you’re a commendable fighter, he acknowledges that it’s not as up to snuff as his own, making him feel more obligated to assure you come out of encounters alive and well. This is more obvious in the wilderness, of course, but when it comes to civilization he tends to become a bit more lax. He trusts you enough to measure your options when, say, some men at a pub are making particularly bawdy comments about you. He also trusts you to know when to whip out that knife you always keep on you. However, you needn’t worry about him turning a blind eye, should things threaten to escalate: Whether you’re at a marketplace buying some necessities, or paying for your meal at a tavern, Geralt is never so far away that he can’t keep a close eye on you or be unable to step in, should the environment intensify.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?: Geralt likes verbal affirmations, yes, but don’t discount physical: At least he doesn’t have to talk or respond when at the end of a long day, you sit next to him and nuzzle your head up to the crook of his neck. Plus there’s the whole intimacy he experiences for the first time in its true form when you and he finally decide to take that step.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?: Hm. It’s hard to say, especially considering that Geralt is a hard person to apply music to, much less music with a narrative or one that actually sounds like anything he might listen to, particularly in a romantic setting. I had to push past that mindset just to pick anything, and what that got me to conclude was something along the lines of “Love Like You” by Rebecca Sugar or "Resilience” by Thomas Newman. Maybe “My Blood” by Twenty-One Pilots. I can’t place exactly how or why, especially sound-wise, but these just stood out to me in particular . . .

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?: You two don’t really resort to nicknames, actually. “Geralt” isn’t exactly an easy name to harvest a nickname out of, and he doesn’t do anything that particularly warrants one in reference to an idiosyncrasy. The closest you ever got was trying out “Wolfy” in reference to his title as “The White Wolf” but the look the attempt received, coupled with your own realized distaste for it, made you drop it in an instant. And Geralt just isn’t the sort to apply nicknames in the first place.

Thank you for requesting this! I hope I did okay . . .

[lousimusician]

Sex Pollen Part 1

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary: You and Peter decide to break into your dad's lab when Peter comes across an interesting plant.

A/N: This is me aggressively ignoring the events of endgame by writing something with Peter. Also I think that movie fixed my writers block because I've been writing nonstop this whole week.

Warning: Language, smuttyish(kinda)

[Peter and the Reader are both 18]

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Peter quietly observed you while you were hunched over your desk in the corner of your room, playing around with a piece of technology you stole from your dad.

Peter was currently on the ceiling, looking down at you. He was incredibly bored and as much as he loved to just admire you while you concentrated, he couldn't stand the silence that came with it.

He watched as you quietly got frustrated and leaned back in your chair, head back and eyes closed. Peter took this as his que and slowly lowered himself, upside down from the ceiling by a web. He stopped once his face was leveled to yours. He watched as you took in calming breaths, and the little furrow in your eyebrows form, telling him that you were thinking.

To say he was completely and utterly crazy for you was an understatement. Peter was head over heels for you and was pretty sure he'd die for you if it came down to it.

He felt his cheeks redden as he realized he may have been gazing for a little too long and realizing how creepy that was, decided to break the silence by saying, "I'm bored."

Your eyes shot open as you sat up quickly, banging your head against Peter's. "Oww." You whined. You pushed your chair back, putting some distance between the two of you so you could see him better. "Peter! Don't scare me like that."

Peter smiled sheepishly, rubbing the spot on his forehead that you bumped. "Sorry but, I'm bored." He said again.

You shook your head, fighting the smile that tugged on your lips. "Then go do something."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, be Spider-Man. I'm sure there's someone that needs to be saved." You said, maneuvering around him, to pick up the tech you were playing with. "How do you do that?" You said, referencing his position, "Doesn't all the blood rush to your head?"

"No." He said simply. "I don't wanna go out. I want to hang out with you."

"Aren't you literally doing that right now though." You smirked. As you admired the wiring you were staring at. 

"Ha ha ha." He said sarcastically. "I mean, I want to do something fun."

You looked into his puppy dog eyes and immediately found yourself giving in. "Fine," you sighed. "How 'bout a movie?"

"I dunno, we always watch movies."

"Okay then do you wanna go out or something?"

"No." He said shaking his head. "Whenever we go out together you get too much attention."

You paused. "...Well, my dad has been working on a new suit for you, if you wanna check it out."

"Wait really!?" Peter suddenly exclaimed, jumping up, which caused him to fall down on the ground, making you laugh loudly. "Shut up." He grumbled.

"Anyway, how does sneaking into Tony Stark's lab sound?"

"It sounds great, let's go!" He said, excitedly jumping up and grabbing your wrist, pulling you with him.

~~~~~~

While the two of you were scheming on how to break in. Bruce Banner had currently been the only occupant of the lab.

He stood with a gas mask on his face as he studied a plant in front of him.

A week ago, the Avengers had gone on a mission after a few aliens landed on earth and claimed they wanted to "Take over the planet". It had been pathetic really, the aliens were wiped out in half an hour.

But while on this mission, after Hulk had finished "smashing" the last of the aliens, he had reverted back to himself. Finding that Hulk had taken him onto one of the alien ships.

Bruce looked around at the strange tech, while he stood up, already heading for the exit. That was until something had caught his eye and started to draw him in like a moth to a flame. 

It had been a plant.

It stood tall, about seven feet in height. It was absolutley beautiful. It had pink flowers that mimicked the shape of a heart and it was quite literally glowing.

Bruce touched the plant, his fingers coming back covered in a pink dust, which he naturally assumed was the flowers pollen. He leaned in, realizing it smelled familiar.

But the strangest thing happened after.

His heart started to practically beat out of his chest and before he knew it Hulk had come back.

Once he had calmed down and turned back into himself an idea struck him. He quickly plucked a flower off the plant and stuck it in a box that he found in the corner of the ship.

Not a single Avenger questioned why he now carried a box with him on the ride home.

And now a week later, Bruce stood in front of the plant which had grown two feet after it had been replanted, running tests on what exactly it could be.

"Ah Banner." Thor's booming voice sounded, as he stepped into the lab. "I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to-" Thor stopped, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he looked at the plant that sat in front of Bruce. "Why do you have that plant?" He asked genuinely curious.

Bruce looked up at Thor, surprise written all over his face. "Wait, you know what this is?" He said, voice muffled by the mask. He stepped around the table to approach Thor.

"Of course." Thor said, mildly offended. "Where did you get this?"

"Found it after the mission last Friday. It made me turn into Hulk, so I figured it could be useful if Hulk ever chickens out on me again." Bruce quickly explained. "What kind of plant is it?"

"It's called a Sex Pollen Plant." Thor said, stepping around Bruce to approach the plant. "It belongs to that specific race of aliens we fought. The plant helps the aliens to breed since they find it very difficult on their own."

Bruce scrunched his face in shock. "What does it do?"

"The pollen arouses the alien that breathes in the pollen- that may be why you turned into the Hulk, it raised your heart rate. I'm immune to it of course."

"Wait- I brought a sex plant into the compound." Bruce asked in shock, utterly horrified of his own judgement on the situation.

"Yes and I suggest you get rid of it. I have heard the affects of the pollen on a human could be very severe."

"H-how do I get rid of it?"

"Hm, I suppose I'll do it then. How have you been able to contain it?"

"I had this box I took from the alien ship, but it's too big now, so I've been putting it in one of the quarantine rooms just in case."

"Alright, come with me. I may have something that can help dispose of it safely." 

"Okay, let me just lock up the lab." Bruce said.

The two of them stepped out of the room and Bruce pulled off his gas mask once the lab was locked.

Thor and Bruce headed towards the elevator, walking through the living room where the two spotted you and Peter sprawled out on the couches. They shot you two a greeting before leaving.

Peter's head snapped towards you. "I can't believe sending in Thor actually worked. Do you think either of them know what we're planning?"

You smiled, shaking your head. "No, I was too vague when I told Thor to get him out of the lab, and I love the guy but he isn't exactly the smartest person I've met. Now let's go, I don't know how long we've got." You said, trailing ahead of him.

You easily unlocked the lab, Peter following behind you.

As usual the lab was filled with tables with piles upon piles of weird tech, ranging from projects your dad or Bruce had been working on to discarded scraps that should've been tossed or moved out.

You immediately got distracted from the task at hand when you spotted one of your father's latest projects, "Alright, go find your suit." You muttered, walking towards the table.

Peter looked around the lab, trying to find some sign of the new suit he'd hopefully be getting soon. But to be honest, it was a bit of a wreck. With two scientsist's working there, the lab got a bit messy. So instead of Peter being able to locate the suit, which actually was placed nicely in the back of the room, his eye was drawn towards something else.

And it was beautiful, and definitely something he's never seen before.

Off to the side was a plant that had stood at two feet. Pink and glowing. And it was as if he couldn't control his movements while he walked towards the plant.

Now standing in front of it, his finger traced the petals of the glowing flowers, making his index finger come back with a pink dust on it, which he could only assume was its pollen.

He leaned in, breathing in it's scent.

He expected a normal flowery smell but, instead it smelled like you.

He pulled away for a second, and narrowed his eyes at the plant in confusion. But only for a few seconds, before being compelled to smell it once again.

Peter's eyes fell closed as he let the scent dance around him. There was no other way to describe it other than it being completely you.

Sweet and calming. It smelled like lavender and jasmine, with a hint of peaches, your perfume, your body wash, your shampoo, and that very specific scent that belonged to you and only you.

Peter was completely lost in it, breathing in deeply, treating it as if it was a drug he could never get enough of. The different layers of your scent completely engulfing him, making him feel warm and content.

His chest blossomed with warmth that spread down all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes and to the very crown of his head, that made his whole body feel like it was buzzing.

But he snapped out of the trance he was in when he felt a rush of blood travelling south. He tensed up, quickly turning around to see if you were still distracted.

He turned back around and backed away from the plant. And that was when he had noticed his spider senses had been going haywire. The hair on his arms standing up straight as goose bumps rose.

And whatever the plant had did to him was getting worse.

He felt warm, too warm. Like he'd start to melt soon.  

He leaned on the table behind him, panting. A flood of arousal coursing through him. 

From the end of the lab you heard Peter's panting breaths, causing you to look up and see his hunched over form leaning on the table behind him, sliding onto the ground.

"Peter?" You asked in concern. "You okay?"

He groaned at the sound of your voice, his eyes shut tight, trying to gain control of himself. But it wasn't working, inappropriate thoughts flooded his mind immediately wandering to what you would sound like letting out high pitched whines and moans of his name with that same voice, while he bent you over one of the tables and pounded into you hard.

He moaned at the thought, your eyes widening in shock at the sound not quite sure if he was in pain.... or if it was something else.

You stared at what was in front of him on the table, and knew whatever it was was the cause of Peter's state right now.

You quickly ran over, crouching down next to him.

You gasped, "Oh my God." His face was bright red as a thin layer of sweat collected on his skin. He was out of breath, eyes screwed tightly shut. But what caused your own face to turn red was the very prominent buldge in his pants. You cleared your throat. "Peter can you hear me?"

He slowly opened his eyes but immediately wished he hadn't, his pupils blown wide at the sight of you. Eyes trailing over every bit of exposed skin on your body, just picturing what it would feel like pressed against his own.

"(Y-Y/N)." He stuttered out a whine. "I-I-...S-something's...happening."

"Oh, shit." You cursed.

Peter wanted nothing more in that moment to pull you down into a kiss and pin you to the floor, grinding his hips into yours, but he still had enough mind to know how wrong that would be.

"Okay, alright, okay. This is what I'm gonna do." You said frantically. "I need to find Bruce-"

"No... d-don't go.." He didn't know why but he knew that if you left, it would only get worse. That even just your presence made him feel a little better and that he might just go insane if you left him. "Please... s-stay.."

It was too overwhelming, instead of his senses being dialled to 11 it felt like they were at a fucking 20 now. Hyperaware of you and only you, every movement, every breath, the beating of your heart, everything.

"What? B-but Pete-"

A gasp cut you off. Your head snapped towards the doorway, where Thor and Bruce stood.

"Thor, the kids got in." Bruce said in terror.

"B-Bruce!" You yelled in relief. "I- I don't know what's wrong with him- he just sorta collapsed, and he's acting really strange."

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, this isn't good." Bruce said rushing over to Peter. "Thor how do we fix this."

Thor looked down at him in pity, standing next to Bruce who was crouching on the opposite side of where you were. "The only known cure for someone who has been contaminated by a sex pollen plant is, well..sex."

Your head snapped towards Thor. "W-What?" You shrieked. "Is that what that thing is?" You started yelling angrily.

"Yes, and it must be with whoever's scent he smelled on the plant."

"Oh for fuck's sake, who brought a sex plant into the tower!"

"F-fuck, (Y/N)." Peter moaned loudly, eyes training on your figure. Getting more aroused at just how fucking hot you looked when you were mad. 

"Ah," Thor said, coming to a conclusion. "And it would seem that it would be you Lady (Y/N)."

You cleared your throat, opting to ignore Thor's last comment. "Okay what are we gonna do?" 

Thor looked at you in surprise, "Lady (Y/N) do you not know what sex entail-"

"Shut up Thor. I know how it works- but there's gotta be another way to help him." You gulped, looking down at him.

Bruce sighed, "I think- I think I'm gonna have to tell your dad. I'm pretty sure this isn't something I can fix in an hour by myself."

You huffed. "Fine, but we can't leave him here. Let's take him to his room."

You reached out and grabbed his arm, but at the loud moan he made due to the skin to skin contact you let go.

"I probably should have mentioned." Thor started. "That you shouldn't touch him."

"W-what? Why?"

"(Y/N) Please." Peter whined, trying to grab your wrist but you quickly pulled it out of reach.

You looked up at Thor. "It'll make him," Thor paused searching for the right word. "Eager? And you don't want that if you plan on looking for another cure- see he's trying to touch you now." 

Thor was right, just that small bit of skin to skin contact seemed to have sent Peter into a frenzy. Your head snapped down at him, as you realized he was just about to put his hand up your skirt. You quickly grabbed his hand, holding it in a tight grip so he'd stop getting handsy. Your other hand quickly grabbing his free one too as it came nearer.

"Fine, then Thor take him to his room."

"N-no." Peter stuttered. "Please, I-I need you." He said as Thor picked him up, making you let go of the hold on his hands. "No! Let go!" He yelled at Thor. "(Y/N)!"

Thor headed for the door while Peter began struggling violently in his hold.

Bruce shook his head. "Tony is not gonna like this."

You scoffed. "Y' think?"

------------------------------------

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[luxurxously-pale]

Words Left Unsaid six

warning- ddlg/little space

word count- 4499  

series masterlist   previous chapter 

Reid, being Reid, immediately took notice of her body language. “Yes...” he trails off and looks her up and down. “Are you okay?” He asks her softly “is there something you would like to tell me?” He asks her. He wasn’t sure how to approach this. The dogs starting licking on her face, noting her distress too

Adelyn let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, she avoided his eyes looking anywhere but him. She immediately looked in the direction he pulled her from to see if Jake was still there. “I uh we should probably head back to your house?” She said it more like a question, she wasn’t sure why she wanted to be at his house rather than hers but all she knew was she wanted to be away from the public, there were way too many variables to focus on

He nodded even though he was ready to interrogate the living hell out of her when they got home. He took a quick peak around to see if he saw anything suspicious. He grabbed her hand and immediately dragged all four of them out of the alley. He started speed walking to get back to his place. “You have a lot to explain.” He warns her as he watches his apartment building appear

Adelyn avoided his gaze the entire walk, she withdrew her hand from his almost immediately focusing more on the beautiful dog that was happily trotting alongside the two agents. She glanced up at him hearing his voice she gave a slight nod, her brain drifting to the painful memories of the past

Reid quickly got them in the apartment, locking the doors. He then went and made sure that all the windows were locked even though he was up pretty high. “Now either you can tell only me the story of how you know him and have an emotional support puppy or you could tell the whole team. Your pick.” He tells her softly as he scoops up the dogs

Adelyn followed him basically running up the stairs, she let out a small breath feeling slightly better now that he secured the room. It didn’t stop her from walking around the apartment to check each room. She felt foolish but she also knew it was the only way she could focus on a conversation. She turned to him hearing him speak, she chewed on the inside of her lower lip her eyebrows furrowed, “I know- knew…him.” She muttered out, she walked back toward the couch with the intent to sit down but it was useless- she started to pace as she was going through all the situations possible and impossible, “I- how the fuck is he even here?! He- I-'' she spoke mostly to herself, “I did everything right..I got rid of the house, cards and all even changed my last name!” She shook her head still pacing angrily- she knew by the time Spencer would stop her she would break down, she didn't know who to trust in the moment-though she truly did know who to trust but in the moment her brain was fried

Spencer watched her start having a breakdown. He put the puppies down on the couch and wrapped her in a hug. Most times he wasn’t one for hugs but he figured she really needed this. “It’s okay. Let’s take some deep breaths then we will start.” He tells her softly. “Let’s just focus on taking breaths. In and out. Let’s calm our mind.” He at one point was considering becoming a therapist, he went to school for it too for a little bit. He ended up not liking it. “Now start when you and your body feels ready.”

Adelyn flinched immediately when he wrapped his arms around her, she was about to fight against him until she heard his voice. She let out a small sound- it was a mixture of fear and relief. She took a few minutes before she let out a few shaky breaths. “I- he-'' she shook her head a little leaning into him a little more, “I was engaged to him..” she muttered, “I was with him for 4 or so years..we got engaged after the third..then as the fourth approached I called it off..'' She knew she would have to continue so she did without prompting. “It was fine the first year..then as we went into the second I noticed he changed..sure he went out a lot was a very closed off person but he started to get aggressive…controlling. Then by the third he was..” she paused to take a breath she clenched her jaw letting herself calm down so her voice didn’t sound as watery “By the third well..” she let out a bitter laugh, “He was constantly on about  how i shouldn’t go out, I shouldn’t dress like I did..how I wasn’t enough.” She frowned a bit, “The middle of the third year he started to get physical..” she trailed off leaning into him to the point she was basically hanging off of Spencer

He stood there and hugged her, he softly and slowly grabbed her hand, making sure she knew where his hand was going. He let his thumb caress her hand. He made sure not to make any sudden moves as he didn’t want to startle her. Though hearing that another human being could hurt someone for no reason angered him greatly. How could someone be so cruel as to do that to another human? He never understood it. “Remember to take deep breaths'' he didn’t know what else to say other than that. Sure he was a genius but no one had discovered how to take another person's pain away. He really wishes he could take all those terrible memories away. He wanted to say sorry but he was almost sure that he would sound stupid. “Do you need to sit down?” He asks her softly

Adelyn was damn near shaking like a leaf, she never spoke about this with anyone. She was constantly moving from place to place. She thought the BAU was a good place to settle considering how safe it seemed. She nodded a little hearing the words ‘sit down’ she followed him to the couch staying glued to his side, “After I left…he’s been following every step..I thought I got far enough but apparently not…I didn’t know what he truly did.” She frowned feeling stupid considering she had been training to be a profiler much to his disliking- which was also a part of his sick motive when abusing her

He sat down, keeping his arms around her. He listened to her, trying not to show his anger as that’s not what she needed right now. What she needed was someone to hold her and listen. He could take care of his anger later on, now wasn’t a good time and might scare her off. “Well I’m here now and I’m going to protect you.” He says confidently. “If he wants to get to you, he’ll have to get through me first.” He tells her. “Now this is a weird question but what’s your favorite smell?” He has a perfect plan for her to relax.

Adelyn couldn’t find it in herself to calm down but hearing him utter the promise of protecting her, her rigid body started to become putty against him. She let out a laugh hearing the odd question, “My fav-'' she paused a minute to think, “Uh..I’m not really sure? I guess the smell of a beach? I’m not sure how to describe it..it’s been ages'' her voice came out small almost a whisper

He nods and slowly unwraps himself from her and plops the puppies on her. “Now I’ll be right back.” He promises. He quickly rushes to the bathroom and runs her a bath. He found the closest ‘beach’ smelling bath bombs he could. Yes he had bath bombs and was prepared to fight anyone who laughed at him. Baths are calming and recommended by doctors. He walks back out and grabs some cookies and milk, putting them next to the bath. He shuts off the water before walking out to her “I ran you a bath with some snacks. Something to help you relax your muscles and brain.” He explains

Adelyn nodded a little before she cuddled into the fluff of a puppy, the puppy didn’t put up much of a fight. She looked up at him with a curious look, “I..” she frowned, feeling foolish for what she was about to say but she knew he wouldn’t judge her, “I don’t want to be alone..” she looked down, finding the pattern in the puppy’s fur to be much more interesting.

He stands there and thinks for a moment. “Well I could always just face the door while you lay there.” He suggests “well if you’re comfortable with that.” His face turns into a very dark red. He didn’t want her to think he was some type of creep. “I just want to do whatever makes you comfortable. Though I do suggest you take a bath as doctors always talk about how helpful they are for your mind.”

Adelyn nodded a little, she chewed on her lower lip and gently moved the pup that was on her lap, “Do you have bubbles?” She questioned quietly, “If you do we can just use that to cover me…if not I don’t mind we are both adults..I trust you Spence.” She wasn’t quick to trust but something about him made her feel safe..comfortable.

He nods “of course I have bubbles. Who doesn’t keep bubbles.” He asks her as if she just asked the world's stupidest question. He went to the bathroom and poured some in before walking back out. “I once read an article that said humans like hot baths because it reminds them of the womb so I tried to match womb temperature but that’s hard to do with a bathtub so I did the best I could.” He informs her, happily

Adelyn let out a small giggle, she slowly felt herself relaxing. It helped that Spencer was the biggest dork in the world. She followed behind him quietly listening to him, she let out a loud laugh hearing the fact, “Spence..” She paused a minute to look down with a big smile. It was similar to his signature smile, “You’re a big dork.” She giggled a bit before she quickly hugged him, her head resting on his chest

He smiled down at her and was taken aback by the hug but quickly hugged her back. He rubbed her back softly “I just want to create a relaxing environment for you. I can’t imagine what it was like having to relive that to tell me.” He explains to her “you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for and I’m proud of you for telling me. You don’t ever have to keep stuff from me. You know that right?” He asks her softly. He wasn’t a touch type of person but he really liked hugs from her

Adelyn felt herself blush at his praises, she knew she had a soft spot for them but coming from him it felt completely different. She nodded a little before she begrudgingly let go of him, “I know..” she gave him a sad smile before she took a deep breath, “Alright pretty boy turn around and get the bubbles.” She giggled a bit

He chuckled as he pointed toward the gallon of bubbles he had put on the counter. He turned around and faced the door. He made sure he sat where you couldn’t even see the toilet that was near the bath, in the corner of his vision. In his mind she had trusted him with her privacy and he needs to make sure he takes it very seriously. “I hope the bath isn’t too cold.” He tells her softly

Adelyn nodded a little undressing, tying her hair up in a bun trying to ignore him in the room even though she desperately needed someone with her. Before carefully pouring the bubbles into the water, she got distracted when he spoke, pouring way too much. She let out a small sound of surprise and annoyance, she dipped her finger in the water, “It’s perfect.” She smiled a bit before slipping into the tub carefully. She let out a content sound submerging herself to her shoulders. “alright…you can look now.”

He slowly turns around, unsure if this was going to make her uncomfortable. He stood up to sit down on the toilet. “I love baths. They just give me the type of relaxation that nothing else can. Not even books.” He chuckles softly as he looks down at his hands, not sure where to look. He was clearly a little nervous. He didn’t want to accidentally disrespect her.

Adelyn giggled a little, “who would’ve thought, our very own Spence liked baths and relaxing.” She teased looking over at him she took in his nervous state and let out a small giggle, “Spence…as much as I appreciate you not looking I'm completely covered…I may have put WAY too much bubbles so I’m most definitely not going to be giving you a free show.” She smiled

He chuckles softly “I know but..” he trails off “it’s just you trusted me enough to be in the bathroom with you and I’m scared that I’m somehow going to break that trust. I know that sounds stupid but I guess I’m just nervous.” He shrugs softly. “You’re a great person and I really don’t want you to be mad at me or anything.” He explains to her. He wasn’t one for explaining how he was feeling though he felt comfortable with her. It was like how he was comfortable with telling Derek things. Just he’s known her for a lot less of time

Adelyn smiled a little she was about to reach over and grab his hand but she knew for one, water would get everywhere him included and for two she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so she simply looked up at him with a comforting smile, “Spence..it’s not stupid! You’re literally the sweetest guy there is.” She smiled more, admitting it with a light blush, “I won’t get mad I promise I know you have no malicious intentions..at least I hope not.” She joked a bit hoping to soften the somewhat tense air. She wasn’t sure how but he had effectively calmed her down to the point she basically forgot Jake was in town.

He chuckles softly “you know the roof has an amazing view if you want to go check it out after your bath.” He suggests it to her. “I like going up there after hard cases and just talking to the stars. It’s actually really nice because believe it or not the stars don’t talk back.” He jokes with her as his smile comes back to his face. “They are great listeners, don’t even interrupt!” He exclaims

Adelyn's head tilted back as she laughed her eyes crinkling at the edges, she shook her head a bit and looked up at him, she then realized she didn’t have a change of clothes causing her to purse her lips a bit, “Hey Spencer” she dragged out the last syllable before putting on her best pout paired with puppy dog eyes even though she knew he wouldn’t care about her question, “Do you have a shirt I could borrow?”

He nods “of course I do.” He tells her “I’ll go grab some clothes quickly. He came back with an old band tee and some sweatpants. “I know they’ll be a bit big on you but I didn’t think you’d mind as it would be comfy. I’ve always found baggy clothes better than any other type of clothes.” He tells her as he lays them on the counter “if you’re ready to get out, I’m going to quickly step out so you can do whatever you need.” He tells her

Adelyn smiled a bit and she got slightly anxious with him stepping out but allowed it knowing she couldn’t lean on him forever. She waited five more minutes before she got out drying herself off. She was glad she took a shower before she went to his house, sliding on the pair of panties she wore before since they were still basically clean. She glared at her bra, not wanting to deal with it, so she simply slid on the T-shirt. She looked at the pants and held them to her hips snorting a bit seeing they would definitely fall off, she shrugged a bit folding them nicely, she was hoping Spence wouldn’t be uncomfortable with her leaving off the pants along with her bra- she was comfortable enough with him that she didn’t care. she cleaned up the slight mess she made and headed back to him.

He was on the couch with the puppies cuddled up to him. He cracked open a book while he waited for her. When she walked back out she almost took his breath away. She looked adorable in his hoodie and no pants. He quickly drew his gaze away, knowing that he’d soak in her appearance all day long if he could. “I’m glad I could help with her bath.” He speaks, breaking the silence

Adelyn set the pants down on a chair before carefully folding her bra into the bag she had brought with. She looked over with a smile, “Thank you by the way…you have no idea how much it means.” She quietly walked over sitting down next to him, the dogs made it almost impossible to give personal space but she personally didn’t mind. She looked over at him with a soft smile, her eyes full of vulnerability, “You’re the first person to calm me down- not only so fast but really in general.”

He smiles softly at her “I’m really glad I could help you.” He was so happy he could help her. He loved helping people, that’s why he joined the FBI after all. Though another part of his mind was going elsewhere as he couldn’t stop thinking about how soft her lips must be. “Are you hungry or thirsty? Or tired?” He asks her, he was trying to keep himself distracted from the thoughts that crept in from how good she currently locked

Adelyn shrugged a bit leaning into him without really thinking about it, it was basically instincts at this point. She wasn’t sure what she wanted at the moment besides him as stupid as she thought she sounded. “Just you.” She mumbled her eyes drooping a bit, the whole event taking a toll on her.

His breath hitched in his throat a bit as she leaned into him more. He had to make himself focus on his book so he could actually be a supportive friend and make sure she was okay. His arm went around her and his hand went up to her hair to play with it. “Why don’t I read some of the books?” He asks her. He didn’t wait for an answer as he softly started reading aloud and playing with her hair.

Adelyn basically went limp when he started to play with her hair, she let out a small sound of agreement when he offered to read. She brought her legs up curling into his side more, after about 5 minutes of him reading to her she passed out completely content and feeling safe

He continued reading for another ten before he softly closed the book. He carefully got up and grabbed a blanket. He laid it over her and kissed her head softly. “Sweet dreams.” He decided they would talk to the team in the morning about Jake. Until then he wanted her to be well rested. He walked back to his room and laid in bed, thinking about her until he finally drifted off to sleep

Adelyn made a small displeasing noise when he moved but simply fell back asleep, she woke up around 3am panicked, she shot up looking around and relaxed slightly realizing she was okay. She got up hesitantly and carefully, quietly slipping into Spencer’s room. She climbed into his bed feeling like a child, she didn’t want to wake him so she simply slid beside him under the covers cuddling into his side

In his sleep he cuddled up to her, wrapping one arm around her. By the morning they had both the dogs laying in between them. Spencer woke up early like usual. He groaned as he sat up and looked around. His eyes landed on Adelyn, she was even pretty while asleep. He got up and started to make some eggs for her when she woke up. That and coffee.

Adelyn shifted a bit feeling the bed move when Spence got up before she simply cuddled into one of the dogs that was closer to her. She woke up 10 minutes later when the dog she was laying on aggressively got up running to the window barking seeing a bird. She made a displeased sound squinting at the dog

Spencer jumped a little bit when he heard the dogs barking and walked into the room. “I’m sorry for them waking you up.” He chuckles softly as he grabs one of the dogs. “They’re so vocal. Who would’ve guessed.” He shrugs with a smile “there’s some eggs and coffee in the kitchen.” He informs her

Adelyn looked over hearing him and she smiled sleepily at him before making grabby hands at him like a child, she wasn’t sure why- okay maybe she did know why but she wouldn’t admit it but she wanted to just stay in bed all day with him or at least have some sort of physical contact. She never realized how much she craved it when she had a bad day, she had gotten a taste of it from him and she was suddenly addicted it was like he was one of the most expensive street drug there was

He smiled softly and picked her up. “Let’s go eat in the kitchen. We can lay in bed for the first half of the day then we have to talk to the team about what happened yesterday okay?” He asks her softly as they walk out of his room. “We can’t avoid that forever.” He informs her as he sits her down at a stool

Adelyn let out a noise of surprise she wasn’t expecting him to lift her, she let out a small noise letting him know she was listening, she cuddled into him yawning quietly, she stilled a bit realizing what he was saying, “Do we have to Spence?” She asked quietly once he set her down. She looked at the table in front of her picking at the fraying table cloth

He nods softly “I know you don’t want to but I also know you don’t want to live in fear for the rest of your life.” He tells her as he places a plate and cup in front of her. “So let’s get him behind bars as fast as we can so then we don’t have to deal with him anymore.” He grabs himself his own cup of coffee. “Only temporary pain for a long time of relief”

Adelyn nodded a little and looked down. She let out a small breath, she felt bad but she ignored the food grabbing the mug taking a sip of it, she curled into herself as she held the warm mug, “I..He has a pattern.” She whispered

He nods as he listens to her “we might want to save this talk for the team as a whole. Everyone else can do a better job than just two people.” He explained to her. “So we will finish up our food and then we will go cuddle in bed for a little bit? Does that sound good to you?” He asks her “though by noon I’m calling the team.” He informs her

Adelyn nodded a little and gave him a slight smile over the mug, she curled into herself a little more suddenly grateful about how petite she was. She chewed on her lip, “I’m not that hungry..” she frowned, “I’m sorry…” she wasn’t sure why but she started to tear up feeling awful for not eating something he clearly made and from how kind he was being

He kissed the top of her head “it’s okay. You’re reliving a traumatic event. It’s normal to be scared and not want to eat. We will try again later.” He tells her as he picks her back up, chuckling softly as he does so. “Let’s go read some books for a little bit.” He tells her, carrying her back to the room.

Adelyn nodded a little and she set her head on his shoulder sniffling a little. She had noticed before when she got like this- she felt somewhat floaty, like she didn’t have a care in the world, she simply wanted to just simply…be. She never drew attention to it considering she had bigger things to worry about, but with Spencer she seemed to just simply slip into that floaty headspace

Spencer was starting to pick up on more and more signs that she liked acting younger at some points. He read a book a while back on DDLG and started connecting some behavior to her. He didn’t know how to bring it up, so he didn’t. At least not for now. He laid in bed and read a book to her until noon. “It’s time for me to call them.” He tells her softly

Adelyn listened as he read to her cuddling into his side, her head resting on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat and voice calmed her down to the point she started to toy with the ends of her hair, a habit she noticed a while back. She had a bad habit of sucking her thumb or and a habit toying with the ends of her hair when she was in this headspace and when she was completely content. She tensed a bit hearing him mention calling them, she chewed on her lower lip her eyes welling up with tears due to stress, “I-“ she frowned a bit and looked at the book her had in his hands, she let out a small defeated sigh muttering a small okay her voice an octave higher than usual.

He played with her hair for a couple minutes “while I’m calling them you should most likely get dressed as you know how much they love being in our business.” He chuckles softly. He slowly gets up off the bed and grabs his phone. He dialed hotch. He knew he could get the team to his house faster than anyone else.

[himooonlight]

who are you? pt. 4 (reggie x reader)

pairing: reggie x reader

word count: 4.4k

plot: you dream about reggie constantly and when you see him perfoming with julie, you decide to ask her about him

warnings: confusion? EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE THOUGH, I PROMISE

A/N: look who is back :) I wanna thank @i-should-be-writing-my-own-fic for being so sweet to me and giving me such a thoughtful feedback about the story. that gave me the motivation I needed to keep writing - so keep in mind that comments help the writer, ok? just hope I’m not disappointing anyone with this chapter by the way… and sorry again for taking forever to update.

here's chapter 1, chapter 2 and chapter 3

it’s @carolineeforbes' gif, by the way; I’m not sure how to add that “gif by…” at the end (cause I’m old and I know nothing about html)

As soon as the last class of the day ends, I make my way to Julie's locker so we can go to the cafe together. I haven't seen Reggie all day, but something tells me he's just as nervous as I am. Waiting for her, alone, I let my mind go to him, remembering his sweet smile.

  There's something about him that gives me peace. It's not explainable or rational; it's just there. An invisible feeling that makes me ecstatic, blissful because he exists. And if that's not love, if it's something else, I can accept and live with it knowing that he taught me how to feel visible, alive.

  Ironically, he is none of those things.

  - Y/N, hi! - Nick's voice greets me. - How are you?

  Nick is alone too. His blue eyes are darker than usual and his aura makes me shiver - more so than yesterday, his presence is heavy and disturbing. And I can't understand why. His clothes are darker than usual and even his cute freckles look more aggressive, if that's possible.

  Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me, but I can almost swear I see the own devil in the smile on his face. His whole body looks stiffer and more brutal, making me step back mindlessly and look around for somebody that could confirm that his eyes are actually trying to hurt me.

  I'm out of my mind, for sure.

  - Hey, Nick. - I say. My voice is breathy and low, matching my demeanor. - I'm alright. How about you?

  I don't really wanna know about him and it's borderline annoying how my body is responding to the situation. My hands are shaking so much I have to hide them in my pockets. When my eyes start watering, I understand just how terrible the situation really is.

  - Why are you so afraid of me, hum? - There's an eerie glow in his eyes that can only be described as demonic. Nick is following my every move, almost like he is trying to control my actions or read my mind. When he gets closer to me and lets his thumb meet my right cheek, a single tear rolls down, to what he smiles. He's enjoying the situation. - It's just me.

  It's not him. It's not Nick.

  I don't know what is going on, but this person is evil.

  I can smell Nick's breath and see it too. It's purple and dense and I'm for sure out of my mind, because I can see it all around us as if trying to suffocate me.

  The purple mist swirls around my head and vanishes quickly while my tears dry. Nick's smile disappears and his stare holds something heavy like betrayal. He looks disappointed, annoyed, angry, all together.

  - I can't believe this. - He murmurs, stepping back. The boy is imitating a lost puppy or a spoiled kid that isn't getting what he wants. - Your soul is…

  Nick looks so shocked and that gives me strength. The sudden vigor allows me to break our eye contact and recompose myself, just in time to blink and get an image in my head like a daydream. But it wasn't a dream or my imagination; it feels like a memory, just like what I experience with Reggie.

  I see a big stage. The curtains are embroidered with CC's and everything is either black or gold. There's a tall man standing in the center, with the same aura as Nick, and the same expressive eyes. He's screaming for attention and validation.

  The man is wearing a velvet suit and sparkly shoes. I can tell he's narcissistic and have some kind of power over people, because nobody around the place is looking directly at him. They all look scared and conflicted; probably because he demands attention but makes them feel bad about it.

  Someone opens the curtain a little bit more and I can see a big glass box filled with water. Three assistants wrap his hands and feet with chains and when he sees me staring, a devious grin spreads across his face, making me shiver and get an urge to run.

  I manage to do that, going back to the school halls in real life, ignoring all that happened in my mind just seconds before.

  Nick is nowhere to be seen and my body is not shaking anymore.

  - Hey, Y/N. - Julie says. Flynn smiles at me and I try my best to do the same, but I'm still overwhelmed by the feeling of being controlled. - Are you alright? Not to be that person, but you look like you've seen a ghost.

  Flynn laughs while her friend winks at me, lighting up the mood. Still, I can't wrap my head around what just happened. I feel sick to my stomach, dizzy and they probably can see it in my face that I'm not fine.

  - Don't know if Reggie said anything to you, but they talked and Alex doesn't feel ready to go to the coffee shop yet. He's afraid that they're going to move on and disappear and he's not sure if that's what he wants now. - She explains. Flynn nods her head the whole time, agreeing with everything Julie says and making me wonder how much she knows. Probably everything. - But, really, are you feeling ok?

  - I think I just need to go home and sleep a bit. - After trying my best to assure them I'll be fine, I start making my way to the parking lot. We're not the best of friends, so I don't feel comfortable explaining anything, especially when Reggie's nowhere to be seen. - I'll see you tomorrow, ok?

  I can't find my sister's car when I get to our usual spot, so I just stand there, calming my senses and looking at the sky. It's a beautiful day with a few clouds and it's impossible not to find solace in the pretty blue infinity.

  The clouds are moving in all its glory. The cumulus clouds are very fluffy and not very high in the sky, letting me notice their cotton-like appearance distinctly. It's so peaceful that I can't stop my mind from wandering to Reggie and that same feeling of harmony and happiness that he makes me feel.

  - Julie told me you were not feeling well. - The boy startles me, making me jump and almost scream. - Did you fall? Did you eat something bad? Maybe you should go to the hospital. I should know that considering I died from a bad hot dog. What did you have?

  His wide eyes and fast words make me laugh, forgetting everything that happened previously. He tries to touch my hand and signs when that doesn't happen. I do the same, regretting momentarily the day I met him.

  I know I love Reggie. That feeling, however, is like getting tickled and laughing out loud. For someone just passing by, it might look like we're having fun, but it's also painful and excruciating. A smile doesn't necessarily means joy; sometimes it's just a mechanism to stay positive. And positivity is very important when the person you love is a ghost.

  - I'm alright now, don't worry. - In cue, Daisy arrives. - Wanna go home with me? - I ask, covering my mouth with my hand, pretending to yawn. He follows me without answering and the way Day looks at me as soon as I get inside tells me that she believes her little sister is simply happy with the tickling. - Hey.

  - Well, well, well. Look who is in love.

  Reggie sits in the backseat and it's inevitable to feel nervous. It doesn't really matter that Day can't see him; the only important thing is that we haven't talked about feelings yet and now he knows how I feel.

  He knows what I feel: love.

  Suddenly I am drowning in dichotomy, a bipolar feeling of relief and nervousness. 

  I am relieved that the "decision" is no longer in my hands.

  It's like that child's game, hot potato. The ball would pass in a circle and if the song ends and you are holding the object, the responsibility to run after someone is in your hands. Every time I held the ball as a kid, I felt excitement, anxiety and nervousness and yet I still enjoyed playing the game, even with the risk of losing. 

  Reggie knowing how I feel is basically that same feeling of not knowing whether I would have to run or be disappointed and relieved at the same time for not being chosen. The next step is his to take; to either stop the music or continue singing.

  - Sis? - Daisy's voice brings me back to the car and all the consequences. - Are you ok?

  - Yeah, yeah. Just a bit nervous about some school stuff.

  I met Reggie in school, so it's not exactly a lie. Josh's voice rings in my head saying "I ain't calling you a truther" and making me wish I could tell everybody about how I met Reginald and how much I like him.

  - We went from love interest to school project. Y/N, we really need to talk. - Reggie's remarks make me roll my eyes. - What am I to you? And you don't need to be nervous, darling. It's just me.

  It's just me.

  Same words that left Nick's lips.

  I feel shivers running down my spine, remembering everything. His gaze, the strong perfume and my own thoughts all over the place. What about my soul? What about me that scared him so much? And that stage? The magician?

  Too many questions for someone that just wanted a few answers.

  - Reggie, please, we'll talk later.

  Oh, no.

  Daisy is looking at me like I am crazy and she's possibly right. There's no way I am not losing my mind by now.

  - Who is Reggie?

  Oh, no.

  - Reggie?

  - Yeah, you just said his name. Is this part of your school thingy? - She bounces like a little kid, making me breathe normally. She's not about to ask if I lost my mind, great. - Practicing some of those insanely creative theatre games? How does this one work?

  Oh, yes.

  - I have to create this character, right? - Reggie scoots closer to listen to my explanation, sitting on the edge of the seat. I can see him through the rearview mirror and he has a curious expression on his face. A very cute expression that makes me smile. - For the whole day I have to talk to him, Reggie, like he really exists. - Daisy beams and that gives me courage to continue. - I get extra points if I get to make somebody else speak and interact with him, so do you wanna try?

  I really ain't a truther.

  The thing with my family is that they are incredibly supportive, especially Daisy and my dad. My sister's bad temper is not even half as intense as her supportive-big-sister-mode. Probably because of that that I don't have many friends - because it is very easy to get lost in my family's love. They make me feel like I don't really need other people, like nobody else would be as important as them, so why try? I've always had friends here and there, but opening up and trusting is a whole different story.

  Maybe that's why Reggie had such an impact on me; because he made me realize that the world is bigger than my little bubble, than what meets the eye.

  - I need to know a little more about this Reggie dude. Characteristics, please.

  - Reggie, what do you want me to tell her? - I look at him, turning my head to face his way and the view makes my heart melt: he's staring at us with thankful eyes.

  The boy is on the verge of tears. Happy tears, apparently. It feels so heartwarming to see his big white smile and his freckles from up close.

  - I… I don't know. What do you want her to know about me?

  - Well, Day is more than just my sister. - I reply while Daisy just smiles, keeping her attention on the road. - She's my best friend, so I'd like her to know everything about you. I know she'll like you anyways cause you're both sweethearts. You two like Star Wars and she says she hates puns, but that's a lie. And you're always making jokes and being adorable, so that's a start, right? You'll get along just fine.

  - What about appearance-wise? Is he cute? - My sister's question has Reggie laughing and blushing. Their interaction is so cute and the tears on Reggie's eyes say the same.

  - He has deep blue eyes, a pointy nose and some freckles that look like the galaxy. For all I know he could have the whole bear keeper constellation on his face, I swear. - The way he observes me speaking foolishly about him is encouraging and sweet. He seems to be admiring me too, intrigued by the way I describe his features.

  - Bear keeper constellation, hum? He should watch out for poisoning then.

  My sister giggles scares the hell out of me and by Reggie's silence and wide eyes, he's panicking too.

  - What? - I mumble.

  - Icarius? The wine story? - She tries explaining, but seeing my confused semblance, she continues. - Icarius died because some people thought he poisoned them with wine. They didn't understand alcohol back then and well, he died for nothing. Poor guy. After all, a god really did trust him with the wonders of wine because he was such a great person and he basically died for that. For being too good. - She shrugs like it's nothing, like I am not surprised and startled by the coincidence. I never heard that story in my life. - But what else? I wanna know more about him.

  Reggie shakes his head and closes his mouth, blinking a few times in the process. I take my time to study him once again, ignoring my own surprise.

  - He's funny, positive, loves animals and can be a bit of an airhead, but that's cause he's very creative and imaginative. He is a bassist, likes flirting and I'd say he uses jokes as a way to cope with sadness.

  I can't look at him while saying those things, so I fix my posture and stare at the car in front of us. It's too personal and I don't know how he truly feels about me and the way I read him. After all, I officially met him yesterday and every single dream could be wrong. My version of him could be wrong.

  I could only hope I was right and he would keep singing in that silent game of hot potato.

  - The only important question left is: what's his Harry Potter house?

  And that's how we spend the rest of the day watching Harry Potter, with Reggie sitting beside me with his eyes glued to the tv screen. When Chamber of Secrets ends, my parents get home and Day quickly explains that we'll be having company for dinner. Reggie doesn't leave my side for a second and even though I could speak to him when my sister was around, my parents might think differently, so I don't really hold my breath.

  - We have company for dinner, dad. - Daisy says.

  - Oh, really? - My dad asks. He's already in the kitchen, so we follow him there. Reggie sits on the counter while Day helps with the food and I just stand by the door, looking at my family. - Who is coming?

  Daisy does something funny with her eyebrows, teasing me, and I roll my eyes, because that's very rich coming from her. Reggie is silent, just studying our reactions and conversations, so I decide to imitate him, sitting by his side. I want him to feel included in the family, like he belongs there, like he is welcome in our house.

  - Dad, this is my friend Reginald, but you can call him Reggie. - I say, pointing at the boy next to me. I know they can't see him; it would be impossible considering he is dead. Reggie's eyes, however, beg for love and appreciation, so I don't mind making a fool of myself if that means I get to make him feel comfortable. - He'll be eating dinner with us tonight, if that's alright.

  - Well, sure. - My father answers, with a smile on his face and no second thoughts whatsoever. - We're happy to have you here, Reggie.

  Daisy winks at me and Reggie is astonished with my dad's answer, especially because he really is looking and speaking in his direction, to the place I pointed. That probably makes him feel alive, but I don't really have time to say anything else because soon enough my dad walks up to him and goes for a handshake. My dad doesn't wait for Reggie's hand to shake it, but the boy doesn't mind and lets his transparent skin go through my dad's solid body, trying any kind of connection he can.

  - Cold hands, hum? But are you really just friends with my daughter? Cause I don't recall any friends staying for dinner before.

  It's not really a surprise that my father would participate in any kind of experiment, project or whatever he thinks this is; his trust and love for me are the only irrational part of him and he is very good at that - trusting me with his eyes closed. As Daisy explains everything to him, his tired figure just keeps cooking dinner and making a few questions here and there. He starts with the basic "how was your day?" and moves on to "bassist that loves country music? That's new. I would like to listen to your music, Reggie".

  He's not weirded out by the situation and that makes me wonder if I should tell him the truth. Or at least half of it. Maybe he wouldn't understand everything, but at least I'd feel lighter. When he starts telling us the positive stories that he's seen in the hospital today, Reggie interrupts his monologue by leaving the kitchen, so I follow him.

  - What's wrong? - I ask, indicating my room. He goes in and I close the door. - Is everything okay?

  He doesn't answer for a moment. He just stands there, looking out the window. His torso is covered in the same black leather jacket that I've seen so many times before in my dreams and his hair looks perfect. He looks perfect. Even when he sniffs and starts crying.

  He looks perfect and I'm freaking out.

  - I am so sorry for today, Reggie. It was never my intention to make you feel bad, I swear. That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel whatever you're feeling; I'm just justifying myself really. - I start mumbling, letting the words come out of my mouth with no filter. - You don't have to stay, if you don't want to. You can leave and we can talk tomorrow... I don't know.

  He's not singing in our game of hot potato. Reggie's sad and it's painful to see him like that, crying, perhaps even regretful. After the heavy day, I can't stop myself from crying too, feeling unwanted, wrong.

  My heart hurts.

  My heart hurts for him, almost like we share the same body.

  - I forgot how much I missed being alive. - He says, letting his fingers roam his cheeks, cleaning any signs of tears. - It's not just about dying young, you know? It's like ordering a pizza that you know will never arrive, but you still don't order another one. You just keep waiting and waiting. And you can almost taste it; the cheese, the smell, the love in the shape of pepperoni… but it's still not enough. Being a ghost is not enough for me, Y/N. I need to make my own pizza or order something else.

  A glimpse of determination in Reggie's eyes makes me feel uneasy. If Alex said he didn't want to find out, "ordering something else" is off limits. Going alone to the cafe looking for answers could mess their friendship and hurt all of them even more.

  - Are you sure you can't wait a little bit more? We can wait together, if it helps. - My reasoning is not the best in the world; I am basically bargaining more time with him. - We can finish Harry Potter, I can show you some music. And, of course, you still have Julie and your friends, right? Maybe the pizza will arrive, Reggie. Have a little faith.

  He opens his mouth a few times, trying to say something, but nothing comes out. He shrugs and turns around, staring at the window again. Outside, the weather is the same and everything looks peaceful. But inside of him, things are different. His world is not the same as it was when he entered my house.

  He wants answers now.

  - What kind of music do you wanna show me?

  His smile is not reaching his eyes, but I take whatever I can get, grabbing my phone quickly and playing Taylor Swift. He falls in love with her banjo songs, like I knew he would, and then shows me some of his favorite musicians. We talk about movies and he's impressed to know that Back To The Future is a classic, considering that none of his friends liked it back then.

  It's so easy to talk to him. His overflowing attention and care is noticeable and heartwarming. It's not like he's just answering me, no, he's making conversation, showing interest and curiosity about me, about the things I like. And I do the same with him, because I wanna know everything there is to know, everything he wants me to know and love.

  With him so close to me it's very easy to forget he's not alive.

  - You know what I was thinking? - He asks with his face so close to mine that I can even count his freckles.

  - No. - I whisper and he chuckles. - What is it?

  - I really wish they could see me. Your family. They are so nice. I really wish my unfinished business involved them too so they could see me. - Reggie sounds sad again, so put my hand on his knee, not really touching him. We're sitting on the floor, with our backs resting on the wall and our legs close to our chests, looking like two lost kids. - At least I've got you.

  - Your parents probably miss you too, you know? Don't you think we should look for them? Do you think it would help?

  - I am not sure anymore. I think I want to know, but at the same time what if I get disappointed? What if they don't care about me anymore? Don't think about me at all? Or what if they do? What if they can't move on? - He touches my hand softly and I can tell he has to focus a lot for that to happen. - It's also scary to see what they've become. To see what my future could've been.

  He doesn't say anything else after that. His thumb tries stroking my skin and it takes a while until he finally succeeds. My heart is about to get out of my chest and I stay still, afraid that he'll run away like he did the night before.

  - You are not your parents, Reggie, just as I am not mine. As much as they are responsible for us to some extent, it's not as if we are a property being marked by our last name. Our family is not our whole world; if anything, they're the cheerleaders who stand outside the field cheering for us. Well, - I feel his gentle touch more prominently so I turn my gaze to our connected hands. - at least it should be like that. But anyway, I'm very proud of you. You are a beautiful, loved human being with an incredible capacity to love others. Alive or dead, you're full of life and that's amazing.

  I don't want to extend the topic too much, just in case he's not ready for it, but I know that our parents also lost individual characteristics when they became parents. They didn't have their own names anymore; they were "my father" and "my mother". It seemed that they were less their own and more ours, as if their value was linked to their children in some way.

  - I… thank you. - Suddenly I can't feel his touch anymore. Disappointed, we stand up at the same time and again, we're so close I can memorize the exact shape of his lips. - You have no idea how much I… I needed this. Needed you. How much I need you. I'm happy we found each other, Y/N. I really am.

  - Me too, Reggie. I just wish our timing was a bit better, you know?

  - Yeah… I mean, the world is so old, right? At least we got some time here together. Let's just enjoy it from now on. Like it's now or never. - He smiles brightly again and I imitate him. - That's one of our songs, by the way. You need to hear -

  The doorbell startles us. Reggie and I laugh at our own reactions and I go get the door. When I open it, Nick is there, with arrogant eyes and an infuriating smile.

  - Hey, Y/N. - He says. - I think we need to talk. Now.

  - Honey, who is this? - My mother asks me. Just like Daisy, she has that pretentious grin that tells me she thinks we're more than friends. - Is this Reggie that your dad was telling me about? Come in, sweetheart. Dinner is almost ready.

  Mom runs to the kitchen, probably to tell the others about the news, and I'm scared again. If looks could kill, I'd be just like Reggie now.

  - Oh, so Reggie is here too? Good, that way we can kill two birds with one stone. - Reggie comes to the rescue, but he looks just as conflicted and confused as me. - And just so you know, you're one of the birds, Y/N, and I won't let you escape again.

  - What is this little dude talking about? - Reggie asks.

  Nick's head turns to Reggie's direction and I feel sick again. It's hard to breathe and the purple mist coming out of the blonde's mouth is scarier than before. He's standing at my door, invading my house and threatening me. Everything is too much, my own body, my own thoughts and the house feels smaller and smaller.

  - I am talking about you, your friends and this rat right here. I've been looking for you for two lifetimes already and I'm not letting you go again. Not without getting my revenge first.

taglist: @revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts

[diamcndgirl]

under the ‘read more’ you will find a full interview about the one and only penelope hainline.

BASIC QUESTIONS

first name? penelope.

surname? hainline.

middle names? bernadette (after the broadway legend bernadette peters).

nicknames? penny (most common) and miss piggy.

date of birth? may twenty-eight, 1998.

age? twenty-three.

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

height? 5′2.

weight? 120lbs.

build? athletic/small.

hair colour? blonde, but known to wear different wigs.

eye colour? bright blue.

glasses or contact lenses? glasses for fashion and fashion only.

distinguishing facial features? her big eyes and tooted up nose.

which bodily feature is most prominent? chest. while she lost most of her weight her chest is still relatively large for her size.

make up? penny loves make up, spends almost as much time doing her make up as she does picking out her outfit.

type of clothes? all types of clothes! she loves clothes but is known mostly for her high fashion looks. she creates her own outfits from time to time. but she loves high fashion and designer clothes.

how do they wear their clothes? penelope has an outfit for literally every occasion. basketball game? she’s got a jersey with her name bedazzled across the back in pink. painting? she’s got a total get up and special painting beret. her clothes are an extension of herself. she loves having fun with her clothes.

race / ethnicity? white.

are they in good health? over all, yes. she’s slimmed down and is in a lot better shape. she does karate/kick boxing to keep in shape but honestly she still eats like a pig.

PERSONALITY

what words or phrases do they overuse? “excusze moi”, “moi”, “thank yoooou.”, “oh dear..”, “totally”, “shut up!!”.

are they more optimistic or pessimistic? hmm, is there a middle ground? honestly, overly optimistic about her own talents and overly pessimistic of other’s. she is absolutely positive she’s perfect at everything she does.. but as for other people? it’s all their fault anything goes wrong.

are they introverted or extroverted? extroverted, extroverted, extroverted!

do they ever put on airs? literally all the time. like i said penelope thinks she’s perfect at everything straight out the gate... doesn’t matter if she’s done it before or not. which means she always puts on a front like she is great at everything.

what bad habits do they have? not many, her mother was good for breaking bad habits young. but, the ones that stuck are: emotional shopping, emotional eatting, sleeping in, and interrupting people.

what makes them laugh out loud? a lot. penny laughs at everything and anything.

how do they display affection? physical touch and gift giving... she’s always been one for big displays of affection. so she’s one for holding hands, kissing in public, and showing out with big gifts.

how do they want to be seen by others? perfect. she wants to be seen as perfect. anything less is just a no.

how do they see themselves? not so perfect. while she acts like it on the inside she is constantly nit picking herself, the way she dresses, and every little thing about herself.

strongest character trait? tenacious. she’s got a strong grip on herself and her life.

weakest character trait? overly confident. while she’s got a go and get it personality she also has a tendency to over over board and think bigger than her ability.

how competitive are they? extremely.

do they make snap judgments or take time to consider? snap judgments all the time with everything. then it takes a good while to convince her she’s not correct about it.

how do they react to praise? highly. she loves praise. anything to hear that she’s as wonderful as she thinks. “oh please. you’re so silly.. tell me more.”

how do they react to criticism? not good.. she hates being told she could be better at something.

what is their greatest fear? failing. be it in her career choice or relationships. to fail means her mother was right and so were all the kids when she was younger.

what is their philosophy of life? go big or go home.

what will they stand up for? their friends. what they believe in. people with smaller voices than her own.

are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoors.

what is their sinful little habit? kissing strangers when she’s tipsy.

what sense do they most rely on? her sixth sense-- or at least that’s what she says. penelope picks up ‘vibes’.

what quality do they most value in a friend? loyalty.. and a good fashion sense.

what do they consider an overrated virtue? forgiveness. you don’t always have to forgive someone.

if they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

what is their obsession? fashion, rupaul’s drag race, kylie minogue, and fancy chocolate.

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

is their family big or small? who does it consist of? small. there are only three members: her mother bonnie a retired model, her father jim a business lawyer, and herself.

what is their perception of family? she loves her parents. they gave her everything she could ever want.. but they did let her down in a lot of ways. so it’s a tad screwed.

do they have siblings? none that she knows of. her father wasn’t a very faithful man and neither was her mother.

describe their best friend. penelope had a best friend growing up. kaiden russel. sadly, after going into high school the pair didn’t stay connected and she moved onto a more popular crowd and hasn’t truly had a ‘best friend’ since then.

ideal best friend? hm, someone who can keep up with her all the while keeping her in line. someone who listens and doesn’t mind her rambling. also they’ve got to have a great fashion sense and killer personality.

describe their other friends. penelope has loads of friends. while she may be a bit of a mean girl she doesn’t have trouble making friends. especially since moving to elias. she’s been able to calm down on the venom and let friendships grow.. she still worries about people not

do they have any pets? back home she has a biscon friese named pinky. she’s trying to convince her land lord to allow the dog to stay.

who are their natural allies? wally, georgette, daphne, and buzz.

who are their surprising allies? rita. they’re very much opposites attract and have a surprisingly great friendship. while they’re an odd pair penny has her back just like rita has pen’s.

PAST AND FUTURE

what was your character like as a baby? as a child? loud, chubby, and a little too in your face.

did they grow up rich or poor? rich. her parents wouldn’t have it any other way.

did they grow up nurtured or neglected? right in the middle. one parent nurtured with gifts and the other neglected with words.

what is their greatest achievement? prom queen, except it was a fluke. next would be getting into walt academy.

what was their first kiss like? hm, not great. it was with the smelly boy on the back of the bus because the cool kids dared her.. she was promised to sit at their lunch table then got tricked.

what is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? she told her mom she hated her.. like multiple times.

what are their ambitions? become a fashion mogul and build a huge empire.

what advice would they give their younger self? don’t listen to axel.. ever.

what smells remind them of their childhood? chocolate and tears.

what was their childhood ambition? be the next britney spears.

did they have an imaginary childhood friend? she didn’t have many friends besides kaidan. so she created friends from her stuffed animals.

when was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? besides being stood up.. probably being told her latest design wasn’t good by her teacher.

LOVE

do they believe in love at first sight? yes, she’s a hopeless romantic.

are they in a relationship? clearly not.

how do they behave in a relationship? she’s a fun partner. but she’s very about herself. while she’ll cover them with attention and love.. she’ll always be her first priority.

when did you character last have sex? it’s been a hot minute. penny isn’t big on hook ups. she wants to be in love.. or in ‘really like’ before she puts that out there.

what sort of sex do they have? again she wants to make love not have sex. she’s more about pleasing and being pleased. and she just really loves kissing and cuddling.

has your character ever been in love? nope, she doesn’t even know what it feels like.

have they ever had their heart broken? her feelings hurt but her heart wasn’t broken by axel. just hurt really bad.

CONFLICT

how do they respond to a threat? with a bigger threat back. penelope is very confrontational.

are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? tongue, girl has a mouth and can say very hateful and mean things.

if your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? her diary. she’s kept one since she was a child. it’s important to her.

what are their phobias? spiders and bugs in general.

what is their choice of weapon? her purse and the taser she keeps in it.

what living person do they most despise? axel and his band.

have they ever been bullied or teased? yeah, her whole childhood.

where do they go when they’re angry? to cry in a pillow then to the gym to punch away her aggression.

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

what is their current job? jobless socialite student.

what are their hobbies? fashion design/sewing, karaoke, and karate.

educational background? she’s currently in college for fashion design.

intelligence level? she’s about a 8/10 on the intelligence scale. she has always done well in school but def isn’t a valedictorian.

do they have a natural talent for something? sewing. she can make an outfit in under an outfit and it will be perfect.

do they play a sport? are they any good? kick boxing, doll. she’s great. and karate. she’s a black belt you know!

FAVORITES

what is their favorite animal? her pup. but she likes flamingos strangely enough.

which animal do they dislike the most? spiders.. and bats.

what place would they most like to visit? paris. again and again and again. she hopes to live their one day. but as far as new place to visit would be london.

what is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? can she say her own reflection?

what is their favorite song? love at first sight by kylie minogue or the call by the backstreet boys.

music, art, reading preferred? ooo, this is hard for her because fashion is art to her but she loves singing. we’ll say art to be safe.

what is their favorite color? pink, all day everyday.

POSSESSIONS

what is in their fridge? lots of leftovers and food prep. penny doesn’t cook very well.

what is on their bedside table? a picture of her puppy, her phone, a ring dish with her everyday jewelry, and a cute lamp.

what is in their purse or wallet? junk on top of junk and things she needs to clean out.

what is their most treasured possession? her diary and her grandmother wedding band.

SPIRITUALITY

who or what is your character’s guardian angel? she’d believe it’s her father’s mother but then again with her fate she doesn’t think she has one.

do they believe in the afterlife? yes. but she’s not sure it’s like the ‘good book’ says.

what are their religious views? believes in a god but is not practicing any strict religion.

what do they think heaven is? heaven would be a happy life where she’s treated like a princess on a throne.

what do they think hell is? reliving prom night over and over again.

are they superstitious? a bit. she wont place her purse on the ground, doesn’t step on cracks, and little things like that.

what would they like to be reincarnated as? hm, a butterfly.

how would they like to die? in their sleep.

what is your character’s spirit animal? a peacock.

what is their zodiac sign? gemini sun, gemini moon, cancer ascending.

VALUES

what do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? murder.. or having their heart broken.

what is their view of ‘freedom’? she’s not sure... it seems like there isn’t such a thing these days.

when did they last lie? she told her teacher her outfit was cute.. it wasn’t. it was tacky and she hated it.

what’s their view of lying? penny doesn’t lie often.. maybe fib and tell little white lies.. but never about anything major.

when did they last make a promise? hm, she doesn’t really make promises because it’s hard for her to keep them.

did they keep or break their last promise? again.. she probably broke it.

DAILY LIFE

what are their eating habits? awful. she works out to keep off the pounds.. but penny has never ate healthy and probably never will.

describe their home. chic chaos? clothes and accessories everywhere, pictures of herself and pup everywhere, her sewing station a hot mess.. lots of color and fun.

are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder.

what do they do first thing on a weekday morning? drink water and write in her dream journal.

what do they do on a sunday afternoon? her weekly skin care routine.

what do they do on a friday night? a night on the town. she’s probably dragging a friend to karaoke or on a ‘friend date’.

what is the soft drink of choice? she’s a mountain dew girl.

what is their alcoholic drink of choice? sangria or margaritas. she’s simple.

MISCELLANEOUS

what or who would your character dress up as for halloween? probably wanda from wanda vision.. she has no idea. or she’ll try to get a date and force them to be her vision. or maybe princess peach.

are they comfortable with technology? very much so. social media queen.

if they could call one person for help, who would it be? probably howl.. she just learned about magic.. that has to fix everything.

what is their greatest extravagance? her princess tiara, her father bought when she turned sixteen. it’s diamond encrusted and also has pink diamonds.

what is their perception of redemption? obviously she think shes got the greatest redemption story of all time.

what would they do if they won the lottery? give it to charity for publicity... whoops.

what is their favourite fairytale? the twelve dancing princesses.

what fairytale do they hate? princess and the pea.

do they believe in happy endings? yes, and she hopes she gets one.

what is their idea of perfect happiness? honestly, a good marriage and sucessful career.

what would they ask a fortune teller? who she’s going to marry and if he’s loaded.

if your character could travel through time, where would they go? to meet anne boleyn and tell her what’s going to happen.

what sport do they excel at? karate.

what sport do they suck at? anything with a ball.

if they could have a superpower, what would they choose? super strength or flying.

[isrustandstardust]

1. What’s been the best day of your life so far and why?

Hard to decide, I had so many great days.

2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?

It was with my best friend at the time, in my parents garden. It was early morning after a night spent talking, her lips were really soft.

3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?

I could have handled a break up better. I ended up hurting someone I cared for.

4. When was the last time you laughed so hard that tears fell from your face and what was it at?

With my husband, yesterday night. We were actually making fun of someone we know.

5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?

Moving in with a guy I barely knew in a city 400km away from all my family and friends.

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?

Nothing comes to mind rn.

7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?

I have my arms covered in scars. All of them are from self harming.

8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?

In another house, maybe abroad.

9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?

I’m for the free of choice. I’ve tried drugs only a few times and not drinking atm.

10. What are your views on religion?

Brainwashing shit.

11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?

Yes, more than once. I tried, twice, when I was 21 and going through a lot. The second time I almost succeeded and woke up in the hospital after being unconscious and intubated for a week.

12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.

- I am bipolar, borderline and have a schizoafective disorder.

- I dream about Satan and the end of the world on daily basis.

- When I was little I used look for little animals to bury and exhume after a while to see how decomposition works.

- I’ve been into witchcraft and rituals since I was 16.

- I write backwards like Leonardo Da Vinci.

13. What’s your zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality?

I’m a Scorpio and it fits perfectly.

14. Pinpoint a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

When my storyboard teacher remembered me from my online test because it was a perfect score.

15. Discuss your first love.

We were young and trying too hard.

16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 5 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.

- Don’t mess with me - Brody Dalle. It’s from the soundtrack of a game I love.

- Distance - 4bidden. It relaxes me.

- As the rain comes down - 0K(ill)’s. Because I’m working on their new videoclip.

- 8-MQ 16.10.2001 - 0K(ill)’s. Because it’s inspired by an Italian female serial killer. The title is composed by her initials and date of death.

- Rock and Roll - Gary Glitter. It makes me want to misbehave.

17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Iceland.

18. What’s your earliest memory?

My dad taking me to Collodi.

19. What are your views on mainstream music?

It’s heartless and all about making money.

20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?

High: starting officially my character designer career. Low: my mother in law and old dog passing away in less than a month.

21. What are your strongest beliefs?

I believe in being direct and honest. Do no harm but take no shit.

22. Who are you closest to in your family?

My dad maybe.

23. How important do you think education is?

It’s fundamental.

24. What’s one of your favorite shows?

My 600lbs life XD

25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?

I’m more secure of myself and my capabilities.

26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.

- Tom Hiddleston.

- Mads Mikkelsen.

- Hugh Dancy.

- Michael Fassbender.

- Matthew Good.

27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.

3 Iron, in the mood for love. Because they’re sad but huntingly beautiful.

Stoker because psycho killers turn me on.

The fountain because is eternal and heartbreaking.

28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?

I am fascinated by fictional characters. Like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, again psycho killers.

29. What kind of person attracts you?

Intelligent people.

30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?

My body is giving up on me xD

31. Name something that you miss.

The lake.

32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.

- Doing at least 15 designs.

- Double up my workout time.

- Completing my very first song.

- Take that online course I’ve been postponing for lack of time.

- Get a hold of a camera and go shooting.

33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point?

Highlight: doing a shit ton of sales on my shop. Lowest point: I don’t recall one, it’s been a pretty good month so far.

34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?

Being the side chick.

35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why?

Not being good enough. It can be traced back to my mom being a terrible mother.

36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?

- Natacha Atlas - GAFSA. Because it’s in the soundtrack of 3Iron.

- Morcheeba - Over and over again. I find I’d perfectly fitting.

- Portishead - Wandering star. Because it remembers me of someone from my past.

37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?

I had a plush of a rhino called Mr. Turkelton [Scrubs reference] that was so dear to me. It’s with my ex, we bought it together and he kept it. Still miss him tho.

38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death?

My mother in law. She was more of a mom to me than my own mother.

39. What is your purpose in life?

Being happy and create beautiful things.

40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?

I do not remember, but I guess it was during my mil’s funeral.

41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do?

I would love to spend a day with the Mass Effect’s cast playing the game!

42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?

Tool. Because I’m a masochist.

43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.

Likes:

- Being open minded.

- Being stubborn.

- Being so will powered.

Dislikes:

- Being insecure.

- Being so unable to handle rage that I keep extremely calm until the moment I explode and get cruel and violent.

- Being unable to let go of things that enrage me.

44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make?

I’m pretty good at it. I love to make fresh pasta.

45. What was the last decision you regretted making?

Drinking that glass of milk, now my stomach hurts.

46. Who’s opinion of yourself do you value the most?

Mine. And then my husband’s. I don’t care of no one else’s opinion.

47. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever said to another human being and what drove you to say it?

I demolished a guy who was in love with me telling him exactly what I knew it would break him. I did it because he tried to act like I was his property and then got aggressive when I didn’t act accordingly.

48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?

Nasty things don’t get to me, I don’t listen to what people say, especially when it comes from someone I don’t care for or I despise. The things that hurt me the most was saying goodbye to someone I was not ready to let go.

49. You can ask your favourite celebrity 3 questions and she’s taken a magical truth pill so she will 100% answer honestly, what do you ask?

Maybe some technical stuff, Idk. I have no ‘favorite celebrity ‘ so...

50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?

I don’t care about leaving a mark in a dying world tbh.

51. What makes you most angry?

Liars, incoherent people, delusional people, copycats.

52. Who do you think is a really underrated artist and what do you love about them?

There are a lot of really underrated artists out there trying their very best and being bashed by online algorithms. Support the artists you like!

53. What are the main qualities you look for when thinking about a significant other?

Intelligence, honesty and having moral values.

54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?

The first that comes to mind is waiting at home for me to return with a hot bath ready and a bed full of rose petals. It’s a cliche,Iknow. But I was young and in love.

55. What is one of your favorite memories?

I have so many, but thinking about the past makes me feel bittersweet.

56. What do you do when you really want to impress someone?

I just act normal, if they’re impressed, good. If not, it’s ok.

57. What are your 3 favourite animals and why?

- Snakes: They’re so fascinating.

- Crows: they’re extremely intelligent.

- Sharks: natural born predators.

58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?

A trip to Paris and a trip to Disneyland.

59. People always go around saying ‘oh I’m their biggest fan’, but what does being a truly big fan of someone mean to you?

Idk, I just like people. I don’t obsess over them.

I obsess over things I like, but not over some individual I don’t know.

60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?

I want more money XD

61. What is something you feel like you are really good at?

Drawing. Hopefully making music, but it’s way to early to say.

62. What is something you feel like you can get better at?

Drawing, there’s always room for improving.

63. What is something you feel like you are really bad at?

Hiding when I despise someone. And bowling.

64. If you were given $3,000,000 to put towards 3 charities/foundations ($1 mil each obvs), what would you choose and why?

Wildlife protection, animal shelters, planet’s preservation.

65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?

My roommates came back from Xmas holidays one day earlier to have dinner with me because I was alone. And another brought me Xmas dinner a few days before.

66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I work :/

67. What’s something that’s on your bucket list?

Make a nice home studio.

68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?

I would actually change the opponent party. They’re dreadful.

69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?

Xmas, because it feels like happiness.

70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you rememer even though they were a complete stranger.

A stranger helped me when my nose was bleeding like crazy and I was alone in a mall. He also bought me an orange juice.

71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?

Motoko Kusanagi.

72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?

Reptile - NIN. Don’t know why.

73. Put the 7 deadly sins in order of the one you commit the most to the least.

Wrath - Lust - Pride - Sloth - Greed - Gluttony - Envy.

74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?

I’m already married and we danced over Christian Woman by Type 0 Negative XD

75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?

Someone told me I look like Butterfly from Death Proof and like Amy Lee from Evancescence.

I really don’t see it.

76. What’s one thing you can not live without?

Art. And music.

77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?

Going away.

78. Do you hate someone.

No, I dislike a lot of people, I think the world would be better off if some of them would die, it I do not hate them.

79. What are 3 things that have happened in your life that you’ve never forgotten? Big or small, just things you know you won’t ever forget and still seem crystal clear now.

- Almost dying.

- Getting married.

- Signing for my very first house.

80. What comes first to you out of friendships and relationships, and why?

They’re equally important.

81. What’s your favourite children’s tv show/movie?

Muppets: a Christmas Carol.

82. What song makes you cry the most?

Together we will live forever - Clint Mansell.

83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?

Operation Petticoat.

84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?

Trying human flesh.

85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?

A lot. Just, a lot.

86. What’s your biggest fear?

Being abandoned.

87. What is your favorite food?

Red meat, pistachio ice cream.

88. Least favorite food? Why?

Celery.

89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why?

Not that I recall of.

90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?

I always keep a journal, I write in it pretty much everything, dreams, feelings, ideas, thoughts.

91. When was the last time you said something nice to someone & what made you do it?

This morning to my husband, because he deserves it.

92. How do you feel when someone says something mean/disrespectful towards your fave celeb?

Couldn’t care less? Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, even if it’s a shitty one.

93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?

Milena Quaglini’s.

94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?

Violante, Lavinia and Artemisia.

95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?

I have two. Valeria and Maria.

96. How did your name get chosen? What’s the story behind it?

My dad found it in a sci-fi book back when he was a teenager. It was the name of the first baby girl born on the moon.

97. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for each of your faves e.g. waiting in line for hours, getting up early to see them on tv etc?

I watched a streaming reunion in the middle of the night on N7 day.

98. Are you a virgin?

No.

99. What are the stories behind your tattoos/piercings and if you don’t have any, would you like any?

I have wings because I’ve always been obsessed with winged figures and angels.

I have a lot of movies/books quotes because they all means something to me.

I have cherry petals because of Hagakure.

The snowflake is the reminder of a very important person.

The moth is for my self destructive tendencies.

The witch is a homage to me.

The strawberry is a silly Adventure Time reference.

The snake is a biblical reference to both Lilith and Satan.

The Santa Muerte and the black goat are both linked to my beliefs.

100. Do you want to say something to the world?

Stop being stupid, stop making stupid people famous, open a book.

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Share My Bed (pt 2)

read part one here! 

word count: 2.5k

warnings: mentions of sex, cussing, peter is still nuts about ping pong i’m sorry 

A/N: I’m glad you guys liked it and wanted a part two :)) also thank you to everyone who sent asks giving ideas and what not :) also i’m sorry if this is trash but i’m really tired 

also tagging @itsametaphorbriansblog should i start a tag list?? 

using the same gif bc it’s pt 2

Peter jolted awake after the smell of bacon and eggs floated into his room the next morning. He looked to his side, trying to find (Y/n), but seeing nothing. He hopped out of bed, planning to make a run to the cafeteria kitchen to grab the fresh food before anyone else could. He turned around while slipping on his goggles and saw another figure in Warren’s bed. 

“Oh-oh my god, (Y/n) what the-” Why is she in Warren’s bed? Does she know she’s in Warren’s bed? 

Peter snuck over to Warren’s side of the room, gently pushing one of his fluffy wings over, revealing more of (Y/n). Warren had an arm draped over her waist, his chest pressed against her back. Peter started poking at (Y/n), hoping she would wake up without alerting Warren. “(Y/n).. (y/n) wake up.. come on,” he whispered, poking her cheek repeatedly.

“Wh-what? What’s happening?” (Y/n) voice was groggy and raspy, eyes barely being able to see anything, still adjusting to the morning light. “Peter? What-”

“Why are you in Warren’s bed?” He was whispering screaming at her, still trying to not disturb Warren. She looked over and saw him peacefully snuggled into her. Wow, he actually looks like an angel, she thought. She looked back at Peter, eyes rolling before she began whisper screaming back, “I didn’t want to be! You kicked me out of bed, you dick!”

“I did not!” 

“Uh-yes you did, you were like a dog running in it’s sleep.” 

“Well that doesn’t mean you have to go jump into bed with some random guy. Come on, I’m getting you out of here.” Peter grabbed (Y/n) arms and started to pull her from Warren’s grasp. “No, Peter, stop. It’s 7 am on a Saturday, I’m going back to sleep.” Peter just shook his head, I will not have my friend taken from me by some newbie, he thought. He continued to tug on her arms, almost pulling her completely off the bed until Warren tighten his grip, pulling her back into his chest. He nuzzled his face into her neck, wings wrapping around her once more. His eyes fluttered open, all the movement had woken him. 

“Morning.” His voice was gravelly, still heavy with sleep. Once his eyes finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, Warren saw a very angry Peter looking down at him. “What?” 

“Can I talk to you, bro? In the hallway. Now.” Peter stormed out of the room and into the hallway, waiting for Warren to follow. 

“Why’s he mad?” (Y/n) shrugged, feeling cold once Warren unwrapped his wings from her body. He stood up, not bothering to put on shoes before stepping out into the hallways. Warren cracked the door, figuring Peter wouldn’t want (Y/n) listening in. 

“What the hell? Best friends are off limits!” Peter was turning increasingly red, which was easy for him to do considering how pale he was. “Wait-since when are you guys best friends? I thought you only just started hanging out?” 

“It doesn’t matter! She’s my friend, you will not get involved with her because then who am I supposed to hang out with?” 

Warren was getting frustrated with Peter. Peter had been at this school longer and seemed to have no problems making friends, whereas Warren had only met one person who was interested in talking to him (besides Peter), which was (Y/n). 

“Peter, you have tons of friends. I need a friend and I want it to be her.” 

“So you just want to be friends with her?” Peter raised his eyebrows, knowing that people who just want to be friends don’t cuddle like (Y/n) and Warren were. 

“Yeah. Yes, just friends.” Warren nodded his head, keeping his eyes on Peter. He knew lying was bad, but when he saw Peter relax his shoulders, he knew it was the right thing to do, just for a little while until he spoke to (Y/n) about how she feels towards him.

“Good, good. Come on, I’ll teach you how to play ping pong after we grab some breakfast.” Warren was surprised that Peter wanted to spend time with him. I have friends, he thought. I have two whole friends. Warren wanted to slap himself for being so excited over something so small, but he was happy. It was only his third day at the school and he had already met some great people who liked him and who he liked back, one as more than a friend. 

Warren followed Peter into their room to slip on his shoes before heading to the cafeteria when he saw (Y/n) grab her pillow to leave. “Hey, (Y/n)... where you going?” (Y/n) just stared straight past Warren, ignoring his question, instead looking to Peter. “Thanks for letting me stay, it won’t happen again.” She left with a slam of the door.

“What-um, what was that about?” Peter shrugged as a response. “Sometimes girls are just like that. She’s probably just missing her own bed.” Warren wasn’t convinced. She seemed actually upset, but he figured he would wait to ask about it when he saw her later, considering he didn’t know where her room was and was too shy to ask Peter, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. Even though it wouldn’t be the wrong idea, he thought. You shouldn’t have lied, Warren, now how is he going to trust you when he finds out?

Warren pushed the thoughts down, instead focusing on Peter’s words as he described the art which is the game of ping pong. 

(Y/n) rushed back to her room, face burning, knocking loudly to wake up Jean and Scott. “Let me in!” Scott answered the door, only wearing boxers. “What do you need?” 

(Y/n) rolled her eyes. “I need you out of my room. And I need to talk to Jean.” 

Jean was awake at this point. “No, you can’t just kick Scott out.” 

“Uh-yes I can. I get kicked out of here all the time and it’s actually my fucking room, so get out Summers before I make you.” (Y/n) pushed Scott into the hallway and locked the door behind her. He started pounding on the door. “I don’t have my clothes!”

“Get over it! I need to talk to Jean!”

Jean stood up, grabbing his clothes before opening the door to hand them to him. (Y/n) slammed the door again, “No! Scott can’t be in here, it’s personal and I’m pissed and need to vent, so please just sit down and listen.” Jean took a seat on her bed, head feeling cloudy from waking up and having to move so much so suddenly. 

“So! What does it mean if a boy invites you into their bed? Apparently, it means they just want to be friends! Did you know that? I certainly didn’t know that. I would’ve thought that if a boy invites you into their bed and wraps their arms around you, it meant he was interested in you, right? But! I guess not!” (Y/n) took an aggressive step towards her bed, before throwing herself down, screaming into her pillow. She felt the mattress dip next to her. 

“Tell me more, I’m listening.” Jean started to brush her hair out of her face, but (Y/n) just buried herself further into her pillow, too embarrassed to speak. “Did Peter come onto you?” 

(Y/n) sat up, shaking her head. “No.” 

“Then who..?”

“Warren.”

“Who’s that?” 

“His new super cute roommate. I swear he looks like an angel, and not just because of the wings.”

“Wings? Oh god, is it the guy who tried to kill us last year? (Y/n), no! He’s dangerous with those metal, knife wings, and-”

“He doesn’t have those anymore. He had these huge, feather wings and he held me with them last night.” Jean’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you actually cuddled with a guy you just met? Who tried to kill us last year?” (Y/n) nodded sheepishly, “Peter kicked me out of his bed, like literally kicked me. And it was freezing because someone wouldn’t let me in to grab a blanket, and he offered so..” 

“I’m sorry about that. I know I’ve been a lot lately with Scott and everything, but I just like being close to him. I mean, what if something like last year happened and we died? Life is so short and-”

“I forgive you, you can stop talking.” She nodded, realising her friend was actually upset. “Why do you think he’s not interested in you? It sounds like he is.” (Y/n) shook her head, eyes meeting Jean’s. “I heard him tell Peter. Said he wanted to be just friends. Don’t know why I’m surprised, no one is ever interested in me.”

“That’s not true, come on. I have a feeling he was just saying that. He’s probably shy.” (Y/n) shrugged, not answering. “Let’s go grab some breakfast, yeah? Then we can have a girls day at the mall. That’ll cheer you up!” 

“Fine. I’ll go find Jubilee and tell her. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria.” (Y/n) stood up, making her way to the door before Jean grabbed her arm. “You should also invite Jubilee’s roommate. That new girl who helped us out against Apocalypse. I think her name’s Ororo. She seems nice.” (Y/n) nodded, speeding across the dormitories into Jubilee’s room.

Peter was sat in his room that afternoon waiting for (Y/n) to drop by. His foot was tapping rapidly in an attempt to calm himself. Warren was sat on the other side of their room, attempting to catch up on the classwork he had missed while being on bed rest. Finally at 8 o’clock, Peter sped off to Jean and (Y/n)’s room, worried something might have happened. (Y/n) answered when he knocked, wearing a face mask. Peter looked over her shoulder and saw Jean, Jubilee, and Ororo wearing the same. “Hey Pete, it’s girls night. Sorry, no boys allowed.” Ororo let out a yell of agreement from behind her, making Jubilee laugh and almost choke on her soda. 

“How come you didn’t come by? I was waiting for our ping pong game.” His eyes showed that he was worried. Maybe she was actually upset this morning, he thought. “It’s girls night, so Scott didn’t come over and I didn’t get kicked out.” 

Jean spoke up from behind her to add on. “And I realized I was being a bit of a dick kicking her out everyday so Scott won’t be coming over as much.”

“O-oh. That’s, that’s good then. Yay for you.”  Peter stepped back into the hallway, about to run off before (Y/n) followed, peeling her face mask off as she spoke. “What’s up? You seem.. sad?”

“...I liked hanging out with you. Warren was enjoying it too, I could tell. He said he wanted to be friends!” 

“Yeah that’s kind of the problem,” she muttered, but of course Peter was able to catch every word. “The problem? You don’t like Warren?”

“No-I, uh. I do like him, Peter. Like I like like him. But I heard him say he doesn’t like me so I’m not sure if I want to spend a lot of time with him yet.” 

“Oh.. you like him? That’s... fun.”

“Why did you say it like that?” Peter opened his mouth, then closed it to think before speaking. “It’s just- I don’t like the idea of you dating him because then you would only come to our room to see him, not me. And- and I know it sounds sad, but you’re one of my closest friends, even though we just became friends. Just- not a lot of people can handle my.. personality and energy. They get annoyed, but you don’t and I don’t want to lose that.” 

“Peter, you aren’t going to lose anything, okay? First of all, just because I date someone doesn’t mean I would abandon you, right? And second, he doesn’t even like me so it’s not relevant.” 

Peter shrugged, “He might’ve lied to me because he sure did seem to like you while you two were cuddling. You know what, I’ll go ask right now.”

“Peter, no! Don’t-” (Y/n) was cut off as a blur of silver sped down the hallway, towards Warren. (Y/n) took off after him despite knowing there was no way she could catch up. “Peter stop!”

Warren sat up fast from his bed when he saw Peter crash through the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” Peter ignored his question. “So earlier when you said you didn’t like (Y/n) that was a lie, right? Because she totally likes you and was sad because she heard you say you just wanted to be friends and I don’t like seeing my friend sad so I hope you were lying to me.” Peter’s words tumbled out of his mouth so fast that Warren tried to piece together what he said. 

“She-she likes me?” Once the words left Warren’s mouth, (Y/n) burst through the door, pushing Peter over. “Peter don’t you dare!” She looked at Warren, her face red from her sprint down the hallway and from embarrassment. “Did he-um, did he say... anything? Because if he did, it’s a lie.”

“I already told him.” (Y/n) (if possible) felt her face get even hotter. Her eyes met Warren’s before she turned and took off, heading for the safety of her own room again. 

“What should I do?” Warren looked at Peter, who decided to stay on the ground finding it quite comfortable. “If you like her I would tell her, but if not don’t hurt her or I will hurt you.” 

“What happened to ‘best friends are off limits’?” 

“That was before I saw her so upset. Plus she told me she wouldn’t abandon me so I’m okay with it.” Warren nodded before pushing off his bed, making his way to where he assumed (Y/n)’s room was. He soon realized he didn’t know the exact room so he knocked on a few, hoping to find her. 

Finally one of the doors opened to reveal Jean. “Can I talk to (Y/n)? Please.” Warren could’ve sworn his mouth had never been this dry. Jean stepped aside, allowing him to come in. He saw Ororo and Jubilee stretched out on the floor, then he saw (Y/n) curled up in her bed, head under her blanket. Warren slowly approached her before pulling off her blanket. “C-can I talk to you?” 

She opened her eyes, meeting his, nodding. (Y/n) didn’t move, wanting Warren to talk to her where she was. “O-okay. So-um, yes, Peter told me and- I.. I like you too. I’m sorry you heard what you did, but Peter was on my case about liking you and I don’t know...” Her eyes widened, “You like me back? Oh my god.”

Jean laughed from across the room at the tone (Y/n) used, one of pure shock. Warren nodded, his eyes flicking from her lips to her eyes. (Y/n) sat all the way up and started to lean forward. Warren met her halfway, pressing his lips to hers. They broke apart seconds later, remembering they were in a room with others. 

“It’s girls night, no boys allowed!” Ororo successfully broke the silence, making Jubilee and Jean erupt into laughter. (Y/n) looked to them and then back at Warren. 

“Maybe you guys could take girls night somewhere else, hm? Give me and Warren some time to talk..” Jean’s eyes widened, “You’re kicking me out for the night?”

“Oh come on, Jean. I would do it for you and you know that.”  

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

Plea for My New Self

Sanders sides Vampire College AU - it’s gay - it’s full of fun fluffy tropes - a bit o’ hurt/comfort - mostly fluff

Words: 4,648  Warnings: Food, Anxiety Characters: Virgil, Roman, Patton, (Logan & Deceit mentioned) Ships: Moxiety, Prinxiety Eventual LAMPD/CALMD Universe: Plea for my New Self Genre: Fluff

Chapter 25: The Star

Chapter 1 for New Readers - ffn mirror

   Virgil wished he could replace his whole IT class with laying side by side with Logan on their laptops and learning to code. Learning is three times as fun when it’s paired with kissing your boyfriend, and it’s already pretty damn fun. Logan really lights up when he’s learning and Virgil loved watching him smile while they went over some extracurricular learning. The class was even less dreadful afterwords. Or perhaps Virgil was just walking on clouds still from Logan’s very gentle kisses. Virgil plodded back to his dorm afterward to catch up on his new online class homework for the week so he could get it out of the way.

   Roman must have left to practice his pieces again since he wasn’t in the dorm when Virgil got back. After being will all three of them at lunch, it was a little lonely in the dorm by himself. Virgil didn’t mind the time to focus on his schoolwork, but he must have gotten used to working quietly with Roman across the room already. Either that or there was just a little bond separation melancholy going on. Virgil didn’t fully know how all this bullshit worked with Broods. He hadn’t made one since D, and Virgil didn’t remember much before they met. He knew someone who might though, someone he promised he’d text. Virgil pulled out his phone and texted Emile.

   ‘Hey, you busy? This is V. Ro gave me your number,’ Virgil sent.

   ‘Not at the moment. I have an appointment in 20 minutes. Roman mentioned he’d been bothering you to text me. Did you want to set up an appointment?’ Emile sent back. Virgil groaned in objection. This was about how he thought it would go.

   ‘No. I’m not interested in opening up that can of worms. Thomas said you could help with disambiguation and I wanted to know if there were any Brood facts I didn’t know. Like, for instance, if I just miss my friends or if there’s some bond bullshit happening right now.’ Virgil sent back.

   ‘There’s a little of separation anxiety with the bond, yes. (Perhaps also an instinct to protect being on high alert.) The bond isn’t bullhonkey, V, it’s a wonderful thing to share with others.’ Emile responded.

   ‘Tell that to the last time Deceit and I broke up.’ Virgil sent back bitterly.

   ‘I wouldn’t know what happened there, friendo. you’d have to tell me.’ Emile sent.

   ‘Let. Sleeping. Dogs. Lie. Emile.’ Virgil texted with clapping emojis. ‘What about emotional disambiguation?’

   ‘As Remington puts it, I’d love it if you spilled the tea. But I can’t force you to talk about anything you don’t want to.’ Emile sent. Remington? Wow, that’s an older one. Maybe he was like Virgil and kept his name for the most part. ‘The best tip I can give you, without you attending a couples session with your friends, would be that they should do it the same as you.’

   ‘The same? I thought Brood couldn’t shield.’ Virgil texted curiously.

   ‘Not as thoroughly as you or your Blood, but there’s power along the bond. Especially if they have fresh venom. They wouldn’t be protected from psychic or emotional attacks like you, but they could go about their day mostly unaware of you, say, harboring centuries of guilt.’ Emile sent back. That bitch.

   ‘Exactly how much did Roman tell you?’ Virgil texted, feeling annoyed.

   ‘Just because Roman isn’t a client doesn’t mean I won’t keep our vent sessions private.’ Emile texted back. Virgil groaned and smacked his head against his desk.

   ‘great, fantastic, magical,,,’ Virgil sent, tapping his foot furiously and scowling. 

   ‘Do you often use sarcasm to cope with stressful situations?’ Emile replied.

   ‘I’m rethinking that double date with Remy now’ Virgil responded.

   ‘All right, I’ll drop it. Remy is very excited to punch you.’ Emile texted back.

   ‘Same. Do you have any hints for Remy’s emoji code? I’m this close to cracking it.’ Virgil sent back, changing the subject.

   ‘The dancing girl is a mood but also a modifier.’ Emile texted.

   ‘I already knew that, Emmy. tell me about the wrench.’ Virgil sent with an eye roll emoji.

   ‘It means a problem or some kind of labor, usually.’ Emile replied.

   ‘Damn, more metaphors? Maybe I’m not that close to cracking it.’ Virgil responded.

   ‘Good luck, V.’ Emile sent with a smiling emoji and a waving emoji.

   Well, that was a thing that happened. Virgil wasn’t making an appointment with Emile unless Pat and Ro really struggled with shielding. Virgil got the distinct feeling that Emile was like a dog with a bone. And Virgil just really didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t a sad business recluse anymore, and that was plenty of progress for now.

   It would still be light out for a few hours, but Virgil could invite Patton over early. He wasn’t sure if they were available right away, but if they wanted to draw together tonight, they probably wanted to hang out, anyway. Virgil shot Patton a text and turned back to his computer to read some fiction.

   Virgil only read a chapter when Patton sent a few celebration emojis and some arrows pointing up. They came knocking on Virgil’s door a few minutes later, and it sounded a little like they were dancing in the hall behind the door. Virgil got up from the computer desk to let Patton in, feeling very amused and endeared.

   “Virge!” Patton chirped and leaped into hug Virgil in a manner that could only be described as aggressive friendship. Virgil was surprised by the sudden hug attack and backed out of the doorway with Patton still clinging tight. “I missed you so much!” Patton nestled into Virgil’s chest.

   “I missed you too, Pat. Can I close the door?” Virgil asked, bewildered and bemused by Patton's clinginess. It had been hours, not days.

   “Sure,” Patton tittered, not letting Virgil go. Virgil rolled his eyes and used one arm to lift Patton and turned to close the door. “To the bed!” Patton cheered. Virgil chuckled and picked up Patton and carefully maneuvered the both of them into Virgil’s loft. And it was a feat of angling and gravity alteration since Patton refused to let go. Patton wasn’t afraid to use their strength for aggressive friendship.

   “You want to learn how to use the telepathy and stuff or do something else until the sun sets?” Virgil asked, wrapping his arms around Patton, who finally let go slightly to readjust themselves to sit more comfortably on the loft.

   “Teach me the brain magic!” Patton cheered.

   “I’m glad you’re enthusiastic, but it’s better at first if you’re calm,” Virgil said with a little chuckle. Patton seemed to try to settle down by making an impassive face, but their cheeks puffed up a little with the effort and it made Virgil break out laughing.

   “Virge,” Patton whined and stuck out their lower lip.

   “Sorry, sorry,” Virgil said, still chuckling. Virgil took a deep breath and focused.

   “How do you do that?” Patton asked curiously.

   “Ages of practice, so I tortured my boyfriend less. Take a deep breath, hold it, and let it out slow and try not to focus on a specific emotion,” Virgil supplied. Patton took a few tries but did settle down.

   “I did it!” Patton said excitedly. “Whoops,” Virgil broke out laughing again.

   “You’re just a bundle of emotions in a meat suit, huh,” Virgil said.

   “Gross, Virge,” Patton grimaced and stuck out their tongue. Virgil and Patton both took a breath together and settled back down.

   “Alright, this stuff is all about projection. I just want you to start by thinking about a shape and get it firmly in your head,” Virgil instructed.

   “Okay,” Patton said with determination, squeezing their eyes shut.

   “Don’t try so hard, or you’ll hurt yourself, hon,” Virgil warned. Patton’s face loosened.

   “Now what?” Patton asked.

   “You’ve got it solidly? I want you to mentally push it at me. Visualize it flying to me if it helps. Hit me in the head with your shape,” Virgil said. Patton’s mouth shifted around like they were mulling something over. “It’s okay if it takes a while. Once you do it the first time, It’ll open the path and be so much easier after that,” Patton stiffed and loosened, almost going through a face journey in Virgil’s arms. “Keep breathing normally, Pat,” Virgil chided when Patton started breathing shallowly.

   “This hurts my head,” Patton groaned, opening their eyes and pouting at Virgil.

   “Then you are trying too hard. Just picture yourself throwing something at me and it hitting me in the head or something. It doesn’t have to be complex, it just has to connect,” Virgil said softly.

   “I don’t want to imagine that!” Patton whined and chewed on their lip.

   “It can be a pillow or shooting a water gun or something. I just need you to connect with me at a distance,” Virgil explained consolingly, ruffling their hair a bit.

   “Distances suck,” Patton pouted again, pushing out their bottom lip and wobbling it dramatically.

“You’re literally in my arms, Patton, the distance is mental. You just need to feel yourself, your object and me, and make me and the object connect. It’s much easier than the other methods,” Virgil offered, feeling a little exasperated but keeping even. He knew it was hard at first, but Patton was being a little melodramatic about it.

   “What’s the other methods?” Patton asked curiously, dropping the ridiculous pout for curiosity.

   “Astral projecting or me forcefully opening it, which would hurt like hell,” Virgil said. “I can’t teach you how to project, and I’m not willing to force it open. Hit me in the head with a snowball or something. A ball of kisses. A tiny dragon. It doesn’t matter as long as you feel the shape firmly in your head to connect yourself to it,”

   ‘Unicorns!’ Patton thought loudly.

   ‘Pat, I flubbed my lines! Why are you shouting about unicorns?’ Roman thought back loudly.

   “I think you pushed too hard, Pat. If you project that hard Deceit and Roman can hear you too,” Virgil said with a chuckle. “You opened the connection though. All you have to do now is just try to project the thought you’re focusing on a little less,”

   ‘Sorry, I’m just teaching them, and they were very enthusiastic as usual,’ Virgil thought to Roman.

   ‘Yeesh, it scared the shit out of me,’ Roman thought back.

   ‘Daffodils?’ Patton thought at Virgil, much quieter this time.

   ‘Are lovely flowers,’ Virgil thought at Patton. Patton screeched in excitement and wriggled excitedly in Virgil’s arms. ‘I’m not sure if he heard you, but why don’t you apologize to D for the sudden thought of unicorns?’ Patton laughed and looked up and to the side. A classic thinking face. It was adorable.

   “No response,” Patton said. Virgil hugged them close.

   “He’s probably just out of range. You’ll have to text him first for him to reach out to you,” Virgil said.

   “How come I didn’t have to connect with Roman or D for them to hear me?” Patton asked.

   “It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s basically because I’m the conduit. If I was somehow incapacitated, it’d stop working. You’re thinking through me to him. I just won’t hear unless you want me to,” Virgil explained and stroked Patton’s hair.

   “Wow,” Patton’s eyes sparkled. “Wait! Hair!” Patton shouted and raised up an arm suddenly, smacking Virgil in the face. Patton looked concerned and Virgil rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a half-smirk.

   “What about hair, Patton?” Virgil asked testily.

   “You made Roman’s red, right? I want to make mine pastel rainbow! It’d be too hard to do myself and my hair would get fried,” Patton supplied.

   “I think I would need a reference picture,” Virgil said, a little confused. “You know it feels wrong, right?”

   “I know, and it’s a small price to pay for cool hair,” Patton said firmly, with a little nod. They reached into their pocket and pulled out their phone. “Like this,” They said, showing a photo to Virgil on their phone. It was dyed vertically across the hair, a side-swept style that was a few inches longer than Patton’s short loose curls.

   “Did you eat enough for me to grow your hair? Deceit says it makes him ravenous,” Virgil asked, raising his eyebrow.

   “You can grow my hair!?” Patton shouted with wide eyes. Virgil flinched back at the volume and Patton looked apologetic.

   “Maybe?” Virgil supplied, shrugging. “If I picture that specifically, it might make your hair grow and I don’t want to take the chance of you passing out,”

   “Let me eat some pizza!” Patton said excitedly, sitting up and climbing down the ladder. They pulled the leftovers from lunch out of Roman’s fridge with a little shimmy. Virgil chuckled at Patton looking eager as they extracted a piece from the box. “Even if it doesn’t grow, I got more pizza, so it’s a win-win,” Patton smiled slyly.

   “I can’t argue with that logic,” Virgil chuckled and sat back on his loft, watching Patton eat cold pizza a little faster than was probably safe. “Pat, it would be the worst turning story in history if I had to Blood you because you choked to death on pizza,” Virgil chided. Patton slowed down and turned to Virgil, looking a little pale. “Just slow down,” Virgil rolled his eyes and motioned with his hand. Patton nodded and ate at a more reasonable pace.

   Patton pulled out a sports drink from Roman’s fridge while putting away the rest of the pizza leftovers. They climbed onto the bunk and sat expectantly in Virgil’s lap with a bright expectant grin. Virgil sighed and placed his hand on Patton’s head, raking his fingers through Patton’s hair, trying to replicate the photo. Patton writhed uncomfortably in his arms and made a very sickened face.

   ‘Holy shit, what the fuck is that?’ Roman thought at Virgil as the last threads separated from his fingers.

   ‘Um, sorry, Pat wanted their hair dyed. I didn’t realize you’d be able to feel it,’ Virgil apologized.

   ‘Ugh, I feel like I got digested by an eel or something. Never do that without warning me again,’ Roman thought at him, rather uncharitably.

   ‘Fair. Sorry again,’ Virgil thought sheepishly back at him.

   “Okay, so Roman felt that so I think it’s only fair to not do it again today, so I hope you like it. But it grew your hair,” Virgil said, still feeling sheepish.

   “Ugh, that really is awful,” Patton groaned. “My hair grew, though?” Patton asked hopefully and pulled out their phone. They checked their hair in the selfie camera and squealed in delight, though sounding a little tired. They opened the sports drink and chugged half of it after a second of admiring their hair. Then opened back up the camera and flipped the hair around some more, playing with the strands.

   “Glad you like it,” Virgil said jovially. “Do you want to work on shielding so we can maybe disturb Roman’s rehearsal less?”

   “Okay. Roman said it was something about separating the emotions, though, and it all feels muddled to me,” Patton said, sounding less than optimistic. Virgil dropped his shield, and Patton’s face settled into a soft smile.

   “We can work on that. Roman’s feeling determined. So you can just look up something that makes you sad. I’ll do something that makes me happy. Anything you feel other than sad is me or Roman. And you just need to know what isn’t you instead of knowing who's feeling what,” Virgil offered.

   “Why can’t I look up happy things?” Patton pouted.

   “Because happy and determined are like warm colors, so you need to be on the cool colors spectrum of the rainbow. You can do melancholy or scared if you like. It’s easier to separate if it’s opposite enough,” Virgil explained. “We don’t have to do this now,”

   “No, I feel bad about bothering Roman twice…” Patton grumbled and trailed off.

   “That’s the spirit! Focus on that feeling. I’ll just be proud of you,” Virgil said with a smile. Patton was confused for a moment, but their face returned to dower and they raised their hand to their chest and seemed to consider something with their eyes closed. It was a little frustrating there was no way to guide Patton further without the basics. Virgil tried to keep his concern at bay and focus on being cheery while Patton carefully parsed out what feeling meant what. Virgil had to switch from proud to hopeful, his anxiety opposing him too much in his head.

   “I think something changed that wasn’t me?” Patton said, sounding confused.

   “That was me. That’s good. Are you getting it?” Virgil asked, his hopefulness being bolstered.

   “I think so,” Patton mumbled.

   “Can you visualize your emotional energy as separate from the others?” Virgil guided them. Patton nodded and scrunched up their face again.

   “Visualize a shield around yourself and your energy and force it like you forced out a unicorn,” Virgil said, trying to guide them as Emile recommended. And then Virgil was rammed into the wall by an invisible force. He exhaled in surprise and looked around quickly for a moment.

   “Holy shit, Pat,” Virgil mumbled, pressed against the wall while Patton was balled up and concentrating.

   “Hey, don’t cuss, Mister- Why’d you stop holding me?” Patton opened their eyes and looked in confusion at Virgil. “Why are you sitting weird like that?”

   “I think you’ve got a gift,” Virgil said, in awe, slacking as the force receded back into Patton. The confusion slowly morphed in to shock on their face.

   “What?!” Patton cried in excitement after they realized what Virgil meant. “What is it? What did I do?”

   “You’ve got a shield. Like a literal one. You projected like a force field out of you,” Virgil said, hugging Patton gently and rocking slightly with excitement.

   “I thought you had to give me venom or whatever for that?” Patton said, bouncing excitedly in Virgil’s arms.

   “Well, you still have fresh venom in you and you’re extremely blessed, I suppose. That was faster than Deceit even got his gift,” Virgil offered, not entirely sure himself of how it happened.

   “Well shoot, now how am I supposed to block off my emotions?” Patton asked, suddenly sobered.

   “Um. This might have been another one of those ‘you’re thinking too hard’ things. And you need to do it passively instead of actively, maybe?” Virgil offered, still feeling thrown for a loop about the whole shield thing. He really only knew how to use his gift. He’s heard of shield gifts before, but never how it’s different to put up a mental shield instead of a physical one.

   “Well, now all I feel is excitement,” Patton said, sounding pretty cheery despite the disappointment.

   “I can try to be sad when Roman finds out and assuredly gets jealous,” Virgil offered facetiously.

   “Oh, no! He’s gonna be so upset!” Patton frowned. Then Patton must have realized the three moods were separate again and tried another time. Virgil braced himself for hitting the wall again, but it didn’t come. Which is great, since Virgil really didn’t want to have to explain to the college why there was a person-sized hole in his wall. Patton exhaled and looked around. Virgil didn’t feel Patton at all anymore. It was like they were completely disconnected.

   “Um, I think you have a mental shield better than mine, Pat, because I can’t even find a strand of you,” Virgil said, a little baffled. Patton bounced around again, cheering and whooping. Even choking a little and coughing they got so excited. “Pat, breathe!” Virgil said, holding them upright.

   “I did it so fast!” Patton said after catching their breath.

   “I guess you have a skill with shielding. Maybe that’s why you got a gift for it?” Virgil supposed.

   “Nuh-uh, it’s because I want to protect my friends. I’m sure of it,” Patton said, beaming.

   “Well, it’s not like I could ask Hecate, so I’ll defer to your judgment,” Virgil shrugged and leaned back against the wall with Patton in his arms.

   “You sounded like Logan for a moment,” Patton giggled.

   “So how does shielding yourself protect your friends?” Virgil asked curiously, interested in Patton’s reasoning. “And don’t say human shield or I will go berserk,” Virgil added angrily.

   “Maybe if I can project it through the bond thing? I’d have to figure out the difference between you and Ro and you’re both just so extra,” Patton stuttered.

   “Patton, there’s no way you’re not at least as extra as me,” Virgil rolled his eyes.

   “I didn’t say I wasn’t!” Patton laughed. Virgil could feel them bubble back up in his chest again. Patton sighed wearily. They must not be able to hold the shield long.

   “Glass houses, Patton,” Virgil warned playfully, pulling Patton up into a tighter embrace and rubbing his cheek against the top of their head.

   ‘You two are an emotional roller-coaster and I give up trying to rehearse anymore!’ Roman thought loudly. ‘See you in a few minutes,’ He added mentally in frustration.

   “Uh… not it,” Virgil said, the concern heavy in his voice.

   “I don’t want to break his heart!” Patton whined.

   “I want to break it just as much as you!” Virgil objected.

   “You’re the alpha-thing!” Patton stated.

   “Come on, we just started dating, I won’t be able to get the words out,” Virgil groaned. “I’m already scared enough he’ll change his mind!”

   “I’m not lying to him,” Patton pouted.

   “Is a lie of omission really that bad?” Virgil pleaded.

   “Lying is wrong!” Patton crossed their arms and shook their head.

   “Well, I think that means you’re voting to tell him the truth,” Virgil supplied. Patton made a shocked scoff and looked away. Patton never pulled out of his arms, though.

   “Fine, but you’re gonna hold him and put out calming vibes while I do it,” Patton said grumpily.

   “I will have to do a lot more than put out calming vibes,” Virgil rolled his eyes.

   “You’ll make out with him if you have to!” Patton said angrily.

   “That’s kind of… manipulative, isn’t it? More than just helping him to keep calm?” Virgil asked, feeling kind of weird about the suggestion.

   “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Patton mumbled. “I just don’t want him to hate me,”

   “I don’t think he’ll hate you, Pat,” Virgil offered in solace. “We’ll find out soon, though, I can feel him nearby,” Virgil added, his voice heavy with concern. Patton stiffened and swallowed. Roman came through the door a few tense minutes later.

   “Okay, now you two are feeling all weird and conflicted, what’s the with emotional madness and how do I stop it?” Roman asked, walking over to his desk and pulling the camera out of his bag. He hooked it up to his laptop and looked over to them when neither answered. “Hello?” Roman asked, waving his hand at them.

   “We’re having unshielded cuddles time if you want to join us, pal,” Patton offered hopefully.

   “You’re both acting weird,” Roman said, raising his eyebrow, walking over to climb up with them.

   “We’re both a little worried about your reaction,” Virgil supplied. Roman climbed up and Patton scooted out of Virgil’s lap to let Roman take their place.

   “I can’t react until you tell me whatever the big deal is,” Roman rolled his eyes, and Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman. Patton leaned up against them both nervously and smiled weakly to Roman. Roman just raised his eyebrow at them.

   “I’ve got a shield,” Patton said quietly.

   “Like Virgil’s?” Roman asked for clarification.

   “No, it’s my own,” Patton explained.

   “I thought humans couldn’t shield like vampires can,” Roman said.

   “Emile says you can, though it’s not exactly the same,” Virgil supplied. “But Patton’s talking about something different,”

   “What? But that would- I mean… Oh,” Roman sounded confused and upset.

   “I’m so sorry, kiddo,” Patton said remorsefully. “Do you need me to leave?” Patton asked mournfully.

   “No. No! I- It’s fine, Pat. It’s not like you got any say in it. I’m not mad at you,” Roman said, feeling stiff in Virgil’s arms. Patton exhaled in relief and Virgil continued to stare at Roman in his arms. “I’m not mad at you either, you drama queen,” Roman said, sounding a little sour but not angry. “Have you two been pulling a Virgil and freaking out over my reaction this whole time?” Roman relaxed in Virgil’s arms and even smiled.

   “Hey,” Virgil objected. But it was fair. “Maybe,” Virgil admitted quietly.

   “You two are idiots, I’m not going to hate you because I’m jealous. What kind of man do you take me for?” Roman explained, sounding a little affronted.

   “I guess I did pull a Virgil,” Patton mumbled.

   “Hey,” Virgil objected again. “I don’t like my name being used as an adjective,” Roman reached up and ruffled Virgil’s hair.

   “Then stop acting like one. I love the new hair, Pat,” Roman said and ran his fingers through Patton’s new colorful locks. “Is it longer?”

   “Yes, Virge can grow hair, too. It takes a lot out of you, though, oof,” Patton said, sounding more upbeat than before.

   “Does that mean you can grow out your hair if you want to wear it longer?” Roman asked.

   “Yeah, I used to wear it very long in the past. I've mostly kept it shorter this century, though. My hair doesn’t grow otherwise,” Virgil answered, still feeling a little unnerved, and his voice was somewhat shaken sounding still. Roman gave Virgil a lopsided smile and sat up to kiss Virgil on the lips.

   “Quit worrying about it. Pat’s lucky, but I’ll have my time to shine,” Roman said gently. Patton’s heart jumped next to Virgil.

   “Thanks. You know I can’t help it,” Virgil mumbled.

   “If I could help it we’d all have cool powers and you wouldn’t be a sad-sack anymore,” Roman said playfully. Virgil pouted a little.

   “Virge isn’t a sad-sack,” Patton pouted with Virgil.

   “You’re right, Virge is a sad-sedan. This bad boy can fit so many centuries of sorrow,” Roman said, patting Virgil on the head.

   “Oh, my Hecate. You did not,” Virgil laughed boisterously.

   “If my darling must speak the language of memes, then it is a language I must learn,” Roman said cheerfully. “Whatever an immortal vampire is doing being a meme lord, I will never understand,”

   “He was probably bored and lonely, like every other meme lord,” Patton said with a little smirk.

   “Darling, I think you just got roasted by Patton of all people,” Roman said and kissed Virgil’s cheek. Virgil groaned and flushed slightly.

   “I’ve been hiding for centuries, you’d think I’d be less transparent by now,” Virgil lamented. Patton patted Virgil’s shoulder affectionately. “What do you say I order some real nutrients for you two and then we can head out to sketch that sculpture when the sun’s set?”

   “We have plenty of pizza,” Patton objected.

   “And you grew 2 inches of hair and are surely replete of essential vitamins that cheese pizza most certainly does not have,” Virgil reminded them.

   “Oh, I heard about this place that has killer bhudda bowls with seared salmon, let’s get that. It’s supposed to be, like, enough nutrition for the entire day,” Roman suggested. “There’s a guy in the practice hall who orders that before locking himself in a room until they kick him out. He says they’re delicious, and he doesn’t feel the need to eat for hours after,” Roman said with piqued interest. Patton sighed and nodded.

   “That does sound nutritious,” Patton conceded. Virgil smirked and pulled out his phone to go order them.

taglist: @elizabutgayer​ 

[dekuinthelake]

Happy Birthday Bloodborne

Seeing as it’s the 5th year Bloodborne has graced this mess of a planet with it’s omnipotent light I figured write a little thing about how much the game means to me. I’m going to get fairly personal so if you don’t like that kinda thing feel free to skip.

The first time I beat BB I didn’t think much of it, honestly. I’d had a rather basic playthrough where I didn’t see pretty much any of the optional bosses or do any of the story. I did as Gehrman suggested and just hunted some beasts. I took a break from it for a while and didn’t return to it until my life started getting... Difficult. 

My parents a year prior had gone through a rather turbulent divorce. In the wake of this, my sister and her boyfriend moved in so we could all help my dad pay for his house if only just barely. At the time we all knew even with four of us we didn’t make the type of money to help make payments and the inevitability of him loosing the house was a constant and looming stress. Worse still, my sister only agreed to move in if she was added to the mortgage, meaning she could threaten to sell on a whim, a privilege which she started using to strong arm me and my dad in to behaving a certain way. Her boyfriend was verbally abusive towards everyone, but especially condescending to her. Tension grew between all four of us, but especially between me and the boyfriend. I could ask my sister if she wanted to go out to lunch and catch up and she’d respond, “Let me ask my BF”. His control over her became apparent and the wedges he was intentionally drawing between her and our family was impossible to ignore.

All the while I was working a 4AM shift at a Zoo in the winter and barely getting any daylight or human contact since I had to be in bed so early to wake up for the drive. I cleaned a mile of glass in the dark every day non stop, only to have it be dirtied the moment the park opened. No matter how hard I worked to keep the park as clean as I could, even to the point of putting on dust masks to knock down spider, the higher ups weren’t happy with our companies work. As our contract was rapidly coming to an end, rumors began to circulate that we might not have it renewed if things didn’t improve. Worse still, someone had been stealing from the supply closet. Supposedly only the managers knew the code, and this sparked massive distrust in the Zoo staff towards our department to the point keys were taken away and our lives were made harder by no longer having access to vital shortcuts around the park which made getting from place to place take even longer in the miles long local. 

This futility and rage sparked the most obsessive play through of a game I’ve had to date. Undeniably, these situations were hopeless and lonely, and Bloodborne is a game that understood exactly how I was feeling. The Hunt is, after all, an eternal nightmare. No matter how many beasts, kin, or humans you kill, it’s an unending loop of uncertainty and oppressive danger. The tenuous state of things in Yharnam was uncomfortably familiar. Only in the game, it was far easier to focus on the things I could control.

The weapon I wielded. The stats I chose to upgrade. Which path I wanted to explore. The fluid combat enabled more split second choices every second, helped in large part by a generous stamina bar. More so than Dark Souls, Bloodborne expects you, the player, to take charge. You either commit to an aggressive plan and kill the beasts, or you die. 

When I first started, I played extremely cautiously and likewise did not have a lot of success. On new game +1, however, I began to realize that vital element. Hesitate and you die. Commit entirely and live. The more I played, the more I meditated on the very nature of what this game was communicating to me. 

In my actual life, I hadn’t come out as trans yet and it was something I was viciously debating internally. Earlier that year I tried to commit suicide. I half came out in the hospital, telling the ICU nurses my name was Mike. But even in the psych ward I was terrified to speak to social workers and groups about those feelings... Being that I had 6 hours completely alone and in the dark, it gave me time to listen to a lot of media by trans people. I distinctly remember one video where a trans woman was describing what dysphoria feels like and openly sobbing. I was starting to understand the core of why I hated myself, my body, and my current situation so much. 

But I was afraid. Even after the epiphany that I wanted to come out, I had a lot of doubt on if I could afford HRT, if I could commit to it, and what people would think. I worried starting T and in turn second puberty would bring back my horrible temper that I had going through it the first time. When I say I had rage problem, that’s putting it mildly. I’ve punched people before just for touching me when I was younger, and with the situation between me and my sister’s boyfriend getting more tense by the day I was rightfully concerned it might erupt in to actual physical violence. 

And so... I continued to come home from being alone all to spend most of my time alone playing Bloodborne. It was a great game to keep my mind off of things because of how much focus it demands to play. Funny enough, once you get good at it, the beasts are also a great punching bag.

A lot can be said about how Blood Vials aren’t the best method of healing. Having to stop boss attempts because you need to go farm some red Estus isn’t great design. However, running around that first part of Yharnam with the beast claws just shredding through citizens like a wild animal is possibly the most cathartic thing in my life at the time. It made me feel powerful, unstoppable, and like I was in complete control. I knew exactly how to handle the big pats one by one, and eventually I got skilled enough to just run into that big mob by the tree and stop people anyway because of how good the audio queues are at letting you know when you gotta dodge. I spent hours in both this location AND Chalice Dungeons farming for Echoes and consumables to the point that controlling my character in Bloodborne feels as natural as walking. 

I started beating the game faster and faster. I was on +5 difficulty and working on the DLC by myself when things escalated... 

At this point, I knew staying at my dad’s house wouldn’t be possible. The verbal fights between me and my sister were getting more and more prevalent. More than that, I knew it was time to come out and I didn’t feel secure doing that in an environment that was actively hostile. The plan was to save up, move out with two friends... But moving out came far faster than I had anticipated. 

A few days after my birthday, we had a family meeting. I don’t remember what sparked it, but we all sat around and voiced our complaints with each other. When it was my turn to speak, I brought up the fact my sister’s boyfriend had been intentionally isolating her on top of in general just being a jackass to her. He’d make her get things for him, call her stupid when they played games... The works. I don’t remember what he said that sparked it, but I remember the feeling... A really familiar feeling I hadn’t had in years. My pulse thundered in my neck so hard I couldn’t hear anyone over it. I started yelling incoherent shit. My sister stood in front of him because I was aggressively stepping forward. It was that temper I thought I’d knocked coming back. If she hadn’t gotten in the way, I’m absolutely sure I would have pummeled that man. I hadn’t felt that way since I strangled a kid in school to the point he nearly passed out.

 It was then I knew I had to leave. By nature, I’m violent. I hate it. But the decisiveness which I’d slowly been building helped me find the courage to admit this.

I took off in my car and just hauled ass to the highway. I had a bloodborne CD I’d been playing on my way to and from work. It sounds silly, but larping I was just a hunter during those crushing morning shifts was helping me keep going. Sure it was hopeless, but I felt bad ass to keep trying. I needed to have an unbreaking will to deal with this dilemma. Having so recently made a second attempt to kill myself, I had this powerful urge that no matter what I couldn’t end up there again. So, I decided not to beat myself up about it and just accept that I had to move on and away from what little family I had left.   I remember not really thinking words. I listened to Gehrman’s music on repeat with the windows rolled down going 78 miles an hour and just... Screaming. Literally screaming as loud as I could in to the night. Over and over again until it hurt just to breathe. 

Even though I felt betrayed by the people I thought were closest to me there wasn’t anything I could do but endure. 

Eventually I arrived my current roommate’s parent’s place where they were living at the time. I told her and her husband what happened. We went to the store for something. I got a call from my dad saying my sister was threatening to move out and apparently had yelled at him for not keeping me in line despite the fact at one point he’d physically gotten up and started yelling in my face to calm down. That was it. I asked my friend’s parents if I could move in temporarily and... That was that. 

The next day we gathered up all my things. I had to leave my dogs which was possibly the most agonizing part. 

But that night? I beat the orphan of Kos by myself on +5 on my computer monitor plugged in the wall and set on a box. Doing that was this weird extreme elation. It’s like I’d defeated two massively difficult, seemingly impossible tasks in one day. I’m glad I had help with the moving, though. Unlike Kos, that would have been impossible alone haha.

That weekend passed and I went back to work at the Zoo as normal. After I finished my shift, however, every employee in my company was called to a meeting. This was it. We all knew what was coming. We were to be laid off in December, giving us 3 months to find new work or apply to the company that was taking over the contract. 

In the wake of this news, moral plummeted. No one really tried that hard. I was coming in high to work every day and drinking with a coworker during our shift while we tired our best to continue work. That last month I worked there was a weird drug addled haze of extreme emotions mixed with ignoring them in favor of listening to VaatiVidya lore breakdowns of Bloodborne. 

I was going home and spending hours on art inspired by the general vibe of the game and my impossible to digest feelings. I’d lost my job, home, and family. I don’t know if I would have survived without both Bloodborne and my art as an outlet.

In the following months, I had gotten to New Game +7 and started recording myself trying to kill bosses without healing. Even though to this day no one watches these attempts but me, making them was frankly vital to keeping me distracted and focused on something I could control. 

There was a time where I didn’t think Ludwig +1 was beatable but... Here I am two years later happily having 100% Bloodborne and beaten every boss on +7, most of them without even needing to heal. 

The biggest lesson I took away from this game was persistence and decisiveness. The Souls series in general made me realize something huge that to this day has helped me fight my depression back. I’m a stubborn fuck who will grind and grind and grind until I finally achieve victory.

Fight for the progress you want to make. Things seem hopeless a lot, but you have to keep going. With effort, you can change anything you want to in your life.

Two years later, I’ve been doing HRT for 1 year and 3 months. I just had top surgery done. I’m working a job I like that’s got normal daytime hours and pays more than any work I’ve ever had with benefits. I don’t think I would have had the tenacity to stick to these things without realizing a fundamental aspect about my personality thanks to the help of Bloodborne specifically. 

I can endure, learn, grow, adapt. 

Thank you, Fromsoft. I hope this conveys a shred of what this dumb little game means to me. I needed Bloodborne so much when I moved out. I’m so glad it exists.