#i believe elias believe it's more fun to never give his kid a straight answer

[mollysunder]

What if the big twist in Protocol is that Jon and Elias both exist, they're married, and Gwen's their kid. Gwen's working for the OAIR cuz Elias put her on one of his classic elaborate goose chases that involves boring desk work and disturbing misadventures.

[contrabbandiera-di-elia]

I really can’t believe I was able to finish it on time! But I did! No beta, of course. And actually, it’s most of a blurp than an actual fic, I’d say. I just had this idea that I wanted to finalize it, but I didn’t have much time to do so. I think it’d work better as a 10k fic with everything described in detail, but... well. You have an idea, and I had fun writing it, so please enjoy!

PS: Forgive me the rushed ending, I literally finished writing it a few minutes ago. Also, forgive me for all the mistakes. It was beted in a rush too.

Elippo Week 2020 Day 2 Past or Future

—

Filippo never really thought about being a teacher. He wasn’t a model student in his school days and definitely didn’t choose his studies to become a teacher. But somehow, he became one. A few years passed since he started teaching art in one of the middle schools in Roma, but he still wasn’t fully used to it. And not only him. His friends and family never got tired of making fun of him, a light-minded scatterbrain, taking on such a responsible position. Eleonora still couldn’t believe that they really let him take care of a group of children even though he was still a child himself. Filippo tried his best not to comment on that.

But what was an even bigger surprise for everyone around was Elia Santini becoming a teacher. When he decided upon this career after high school, most people laughed at him. Especially his best friends who knew him all too well to know that he plus teaching sound like a bad idea. But surprisingly for everyone, he actually made it and became a middle school PE teacher. Although his friends still joked that Boccia wouldn’t be happy knowing that his top PE skipper ended up teaching PE, Elia proved to be an excellent teacher. The kids loved him, and he seemed to be really into what he was doing.

And by some strange coincidence, Filippo and Elia ended up teaching in the same school. Which should be great, after all, they used to be roommates for quite a time, they should be goods friends, and it should be lovely to work together.

Only that it wasn’t.

For some reason that remained unknown for Filippo, Elia didn’t really like him. To the point of avoiding and ignoring him every day at work. This was a few years long dislike that Filippo couldn’t understand. Especially since their roommates' days were wonderful. Just one day Elia suddenly became cold and distant and then moved out without giving Filippo any particular reason. Which bothered him every day because usually he didn’t mind people disliking him, but there was something in Elia that—

“Mr. Sava?”

Filippo snapped out of his thoughts, quickly looking away from the soccer team practice. Unfortunately, the art classroom had its windows facing the school’s soccer field. This meant that each week he had a chance to observe Elia Santini half screaming half laughing at the bunch of middle schoolers. And sometimes playing with them. These times Filippo liked the most. There was something alluring in Elia playing soccer with a group of students, taller than everyone else around him but surprisingly fitting between them. Filippo supposed that although he was almost thirty, he still had something of a teenager in him.

“Yes, what is it?” He sighed, moving away from the window. He wasn’t even interested in soccer in the first place. What was the point of staring at the school’s team practice every week then?

—

“On Tuesday I nicely asked him whether he’d like a coffee as I was making one for myself anyway and he said ‘no need’...”

“Uh-huh.”

“...but then I saw him making himself a coffee just a minute later!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why he declined my offer then? Does he hate me so much that he couldn’t even accept my kind coffee offer?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Martino, are you even listening to me?”

“Uh-huh.”

Filippo sighed with irritation, taking a generous sip of his drink. He and Martino were meeting up almost weekly, mostly to let Filippo rant about how much Elia’s coldness bothered him. The thing was, Martino seemed to be less and less invested in his stories. Which made Filippo annoyed because not only he wouldn’t help him with getting the information from Elia, but he didn’t even want to listen to his hardships.

“It’d be easier if you just told me why he’s like that.”

“I already told you that I have no idea,” sighed Martino, not even trying to hold back an eye roll.

“And I’m supposed to believe it? You’re friends for years, of course he’d told you!”

“Well, surprise surprise, he didn’t. I tried to ask him, but he’s always saying that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He’s acting like nothing ever happened. So I don’t know… Maybe you really imagine things, Filo?”

This time it was Filippo who rolled his eyes. He knew he didn’t imagine things. Especially since he vividly remembered how different Elia was when they were living together. They used to spend a lot of time together back then. And it wasn’t only because they lived together. They’d hang out in each other’s rooms all the time, watching movies and stupid reality shows together, damn, even doing some chores together just to spend some time together. And then suddenly, Elia became cold and distant, and that’s how it was since then. It wasn’t just Filippo’s imagination. It was something more, and Filippo made a matter of honor to know why.

—

“Hey, what did I say about playing fair?!”

“Oh, come on!”

“Don’t ‘come on’ me! Go, do your penalty pushups.”

“Don’t be like that, Santini…”

“Add 10 for not respecting your teacher.”

“No way!”

“And the other 10 for pointless discussions. You want to keep bidding, Mancini?”

Filippo smiled against himself, looking at this scene. Elia might have tried to be all sharp and demanding, but at the end of the day, most of his students liked him. Probably because behind this hard-guy façade there was a laid-back guy willing to talk and hang out with his students after school, taking them to see a match or something (not that Filippo was interested in it). Not that Filippo had a bad reputation among the students. Well, maybe among the homophobic ones. But the kids generally liked him, at least those from the art club. Unless they were excellent actors and only pretended.

“Ugh, I wouldn’t want to be your student. You make me remember why I was skipping PE in my school days,” Filippo started, approaching Elia with a smile. The younger man stiffed, looking at him with a mixture of shock and annoyance on his face.

“What are you doing here? I’m in the middle of the lesson!” He hissed. Filippo only shrugged. It’s not that he didn’t know it. It was hard not to notice a group of screaming, running kids.

“Yeah, well, you’re avoiding me at the hallways, you’re avoiding me in the staff room, the same with school events and the schoolyard… I figured it’s time for the desperate measures.”

Elia said nothing, only clenched his jaw and looked back at his students, trying to pretend he doesn’t see nor hear Filippo. Typical ignorance strategy Filippo knew all too well. Not that he was planning on giving up. He already thought it through. During the lesson, Elia couldn’t escape from him. And if somebody asked, Filippo could say he came to ask Elia if he could use the hall for the upcoming art club exhibition. Doesn’t matter that Elia wasn’t a decisive person.

“Don’t you think it’s getting a little bit ridiculous? You’re doing it for years now, and you wouldn’t even tell me why.”

“I can’t see you doing your pushups, Mancini!”

“Come on. It’s not that hard. Just talk to me.”

“I’m in the middle of the lesson, Filippo.”

“Tell me and I’m gone then.”

Elia glanced at him as if he was considering it as an option. Filippo wondered whether he was genuinely annoyed beyond the point or maybe impressed his stubbornness. Or perhaps neither of this. It was really hard to figure out Elia sometimes. Or at least for Filippo.

“You should know it yourself. After all, you used to laugh at it all the time with your friends, thinking I don’t hear you. But well, I did.” Elia wrinkled his nose, his eyes focused on the kids playing… whatever, it’s not that Filippo paid any attention.

“I don’t understand,” he confessed because he genuinely didn’t. He had no idea which jokes Elia meant. There were so many, he was joking around with his friends all the time. He had no idea which ones could possibly affect Elia so much. They were generally some kinky stuff. Did Elia had a problem with kinky? He could just say so instead of moving out and becoming cold and distant.

“Don’t tell me you don’t remember. All those jokes about seducing me for fun...”

Filippo tired to remember those times when he was living with Elia and jokes he was making with his friends. They, in fact, did joke like that. Nothing special, just light jokes. About how Filippo should seduce his straight roommate just like in pornos just for sex. How fun it’d be and stuff. Filippo usually tired to silence them so they wouldn’t make Elia uncomfortable. Looked like he failed.

“These were only jokes and—"

“Yeah, only jokes, but you knew that I—"

“And I had no idea they’d disgust you! I mean, I know you’re straight, so did my friends, which is why we joked like that. About seducing my straight roommate and stuff. I mean, I don’t know, maybe they were more serious than I was, but for me, these were only jokes. I thought you’re chill enough to understand that. If you told me these kinds of gay jokes annoy you, I’d stop making them.”

Elia looked at him, confinement clear in his eyes. As if it wasn’t the answer he was expecting. For a second, it crossed Filippo’s mind that maybe didn’t understand it. Maybe Elia was aiming at something else. The question was… at what?

“Wait, so you didn’t know that I…?”

“Did know that you what?”

Elia looked away, suddenly looking shy.

“Nothing. Nothing, really. It’s... it’s all in the past anyway,” he decided with an awkward shrug. It didn’t really seem convincing, but Filippo decided not to press further. He felt that the conversation was going in a good direction, and he didn’t want to ruin it. All he wanted was to clear the misunderstanding and close the case. He could interrogate Elia some other time.

“Okay, so… I’m sorry for the jokes. I didn’t know they make you feel bad,” he tried. Elia started shaking his head before Filippo even finished talking.

“No, I’m sorry too. I should talk to you instead of… you know.”

Filippo nodded. For a while, they were standing in silence, neither of them knowing what to say and do. Finally, Filippo decided that he took enough time from Elia’s lesson. He was probably close to eventually getting into trouble.

“Okay, so… see you around?” He asked. Elia smiled, which made Filippo smile too. It wasn’t perfect, still very very awkward, but Filippo believed that was the start of a completely new era of his history with Elia Santini.

[greenlightfic]

Looking for a little bit of hope these days

 Sunday 10:21 – March 29, 2020 – I can feel your eyes in the back of my head

 Edoardo has been awake for the last ten minutes. To be fair, he didn’t do much of sleep, instead he tiredly drifted in and out of the haze the whole night. But now he is awake, fully awake.

He sits down covering his body with the sheets, already missing the warm his bed irradiated. Edo doesn’t know if Federico’s up already and he wonders if he should keep on ignoring him or simply talk to him. But talk to him about what exactly?

The tall guy sighs, brushing his big rebellious curls out of his forehead while he lays down again. It’s way too early for him to be this messed up. But it seems like Federico thinks otherwise because Edoardo hears a subtle knock on his door, followed by another one longer and louder.

“Buddy, are you awake?” Fede asks, and he could just ignore him, pretend he’s still asleep but he also knows that he can avoid him forever, not when they live together. So, Edoardo push the sheets away from him and walks to the door, opening it to find his best friend still wearing his pajamas and holding two cups of coffee.

Edoardo takes one, silently thanking his friend with a nod, and walks again to his bed, covering his legs and resting his back against the headboard. The skinny guys follow him close and sit in the opposite side of the bed, also covering himself with a blanket.

“I heard you coming home last night. Past midnight” Federico tries after his friend starts drinking.

“Yeah,” Edo looks at him above his mug, “Eleonora wasn’t feeling well so I just… stayed a little longer.”

“Why are you lying to me?” Fede suddenly asks with his forehead furrowed.

“What?” Edoardo replies with the same expression.

“Elia told me you almost got into a fight.” Federico waits for a second, expectant for his friend to defend himself. After Edoardo avoids his eyes, he decides to continue. “Are you gonna tell me what happened or you gonna keep ignoring me?” the boy demands.

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Edo protests.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re my father, waiting for me to confess some stupid shit”. He moves his hands angrily between them.

“Then don’t lie to me!” Federico says a little too loud. He sighs and massages the furrow away from his forehead. “I’m just trying to understand the situation here, man” he tries again, with a calm tone. “I see you talking with Alice, then I don’t see you anymore and then Elia tells me you almost got yourself into a fight. I’m just… worried”. Concern fills every corner of his face, and Edoardo hates him and loves him for that. Sometimes he wishes they weren’t so close, that Federico didn’t know him that well but he also knows he wouldn’t be himself without Federico.

Instead of keeping avoiding the topic, Edo chooses to talk to him, after all, he’s his best friend.

“Eleonora has a classmate, a douchebag. He was at the club and he tried…” There’s a word for that; he knows it. Both Sana and Eleonora had given them all enough lessons for him to understand the meaning of harassment but, for some reason, placing the situation into that word was harder than he could’ve imagine. “He tried to kiss her and to make her go home with him, even when she said she didn’t want to.” Edoardo is looking at his bed but still can feel Fede’s body tensing in front of him. “What happened?” the young man asks slow.

“Nothing. I saw her face and I walked to them. Ele told me I got in… just in time” he whispers the last words.

Federico pats his leg. “The hero”, the compliment makes Edoardo smiles down to his mug.

“What happened after that?” his best friend inquires, carefully.

“I drove her home”.

“And?”

“And she made tea”.

“And?”

“And she told me some things about her past and we hug and stayed like that until she was too tired to stay awake”. Edoardo closes his eyes for a second. He’s scared of looking at Federico, the excitement on his voice had grown so big Edoardo couldn’t tear his eyes away from his own hands.

As he predicted, the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is Fede ginormous smile, it makes his eyes look very small.

“And?” Federico asks again, biting his bottom lip to hide his obvious smile.

“I came home” he shrugs.

“Edo!” his best friend hits his leg playfully.

“I don’t know, all right?” It’s now or never, Edo knows it. “It felt really, really nice to be with her like that…” Federico was back to smiling his brightest. “But” Edoardo holds up a finger, “but it’s just a crush, okay? I’ll go away as fast as it came”.

“You sure about that?” Federico isn’t smiling anymore.

“Yeah. She’s the first girl I’m actually close to and I just… mixed my feelings. It’s the same that happened with Nathan’s sister, remember?” he doesn’t wait for his friend’s confirmation. “We were kids and she was older, pretty and the first girl to actually talk to us so we all crushed so hard on her. This is the same”. He’s sure it isn’t the same, but he needs to believe it.

Federico isn’t looking at him any longer, he’s tracing with his finger the mug, thinking. Meanwhile, Edoardo’s heart is trying to come back to normal, saying all those thoughts out loud was easier than he thought but it also made them real, and he still isn’t sure if he wants them to be.

“Okay”. Federico says after a while.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay”, he shrugs. “If you think it isn’t worthy risking your friendship, I got your back. I think you should tell Ele how you feel but I won’t push you” he’s offering him a warm smile and Edoardo is so thankful for his existence at this moment.

“If I talk to her, everything changes and when the crush goes away it would be too late to repair our bond. I might ruin the whole group.

“Hey!” Federico’s looking at him with narrow eyes. “Don’t think about us, okay? We will be fine. Think about you. Do it, or not but not because of you, because of you, all right? I don’t want you to play the hero right now. Just… focus on you”. He sighs.

Edoardo doesn’t know how to answer to that so he just nods and extends his fist to Federico to bump his but the boy pushes it away and leans in to give Edo a one arm hug and he gratefully accepts it.

 Sunday 15:50 – March 29, 2920 – Will you be my future or just and escape?

 Edoardo is nervous. He was just fine ten minutes ago, studying in his bed, focusing on his work. But now he’s nervous.

Rocco told him Alice asked for his number and now he doesn’t know what to do. Does he contact her first? Does he pretend he doesn’t know? Does he ignore her? There are a thousand different scenarios playing on his mind right now and Edoardo isn’t sure of which one is worse.

His phone’s screen illuminates with an unknown number calling. It seems like Alice doesn’t want him to go through all those scenarios again. He accepts the call, if he wants to get over his crush, he gonna need some help.

Inhaling he places the phone on his left ear, resting his head against the headboard. “Hi?”

“Edoardo Incanti.” And his name in a pretty girl’s mouth triggers him and confident Edoardo’s back. He smiles. “I was waiting for your call”. He smirks and is sure Alice’s smiling, too.

“Why to expose me like that?” she laughs.

“Rocco’s my friend. We don’t keep secrets from each other”.

“Can’t wait to hear what you have to tell them about me”. Edoardo bits his bottom lip.

“Good things only, I’m sure”. Alice laughs softly in the other line and Edoardo takes his opportunity. If he wants to get over his crush, he needs to act, now. “But…” he starts sitting straight. “If you want to make sure we could meet tonight. You know, so you can tell me what I can and cannot tell my friends”. Alice’s silence for a few seconds and Edoardo can hear her walking around a room.

“And where would this meeting take place?” she’s playing it cool. Two can play this game, Edo thinks.

“There’s a bar a couple of blocks away from my house. You interest?” It’s a clear invitation to more than just a few drinks and Edoardo smiles brightly when Alice accepts it.

“21:00? Is it okay to you?” she asks low.

“It’s perfect for me. I’ll send you the address in a second, all right?” he’s resting against the headboard again, relaxed.

“Okay. See you tonight, Edo” he bets she’s laying down.

“See you tonight”. He hangs up and rubs his hands together.

“Fede!”. He youths calling his friend.

A minute after, his door opens. “What?” Federico asks walking to his bed.

“I need you out tonight” Edoardo lifts his brows with intention but his best friend looks at him with confusion. “Oh, God!” he covers his mouth with both hands. “Ele?” he asks smiling and Edoardo’s stomach sinks. “No”. it’s the only thing he says.

“Did Alice text you? Fede tries again, cautiously.

“Yeah” Edoardo says less enthusiastic. “We’re going out tonight and I thought, you know, to have the house alone, in case, you know…” he’s rambling looking at his hand. The excitement he felt when he hung up left his body the moment Eleonora was mentioned.

“Yeah, of course” Federico’s speaking loudly. “Yes, man” he smiles. “I’ll cuddle with Chicco” he jokes, lighting up the mood. “You have fun” Fede smiles warm and if Edoardo didn’t know him the way he does that would’ve been it. But he knows it, and he can see the concern on Federico’s eyes and his stomach drops again.

 Sunday 22:02 – March 29, 2020 – You never get to heaven in a night like this

 Edoardo closes the door, turning the lights on. “Where’s Federico? Alice asks looking at him with a grin from head to toe.

“Not here” Edoardo answers, smirking smugly. Alice smiles back and waits for Edoardo to close the small distance between their bodies, and Edoardo does it, gladly. He knew they would end up here when Alice decided to sit in the bar, too close to each other, and automatically played with their feet before they even finished their first drink.

He wants it. He wants this. Alice rapidly pushes his jacket off and, after throwing it somewhere away from them, Edoardo’s hands find the girl’s back and they start waking. Alice’s moving backwards, letting the tall boy guide her through the corridor to his room.

Edoardo kicks the door shut, pulling the girl’s blouse up. He usually takes it slow, but he hasn’t been with someone in way too long and it seems like Alice doesn’t want it slow, either. His mouth falls open when he sees the tiny green lace bra. He sure wants it, and his jeans are feeling too tight already. He turns the lights on and walks closer to Alice again, instinctively placing his hands on her bare skin, stroking her side.

“The lights” she murmurs kissing the sensitive skin around his ear, pushing him to lay on top of her. Edoardo tries to ask what she means but a groan is the only sound that his mouth produces when she pulls out his hair. “The lights” she repeats, breathing from her mouth while Edo kisses her jaw. “I light the lights off” she holds his face between her hands and kisses him passionately. Edoardo breaks the kiss and quickly does as he was asked. When he comes back to his bed Alice’s kissing him again and he holds her tight, trying to push the thought of a pair of green eyes watching him in the dark away.

 Monday 17:30 – March 30, 2020 – I’m chemically drawn closer to you

 “So, did you have a ‘boy night’, last night?”

“Hm? Edoardo asks closing his notebook.

“The boy night” Eleonora repeats ducking her head to meet his eyes. “I saw Chicco story” she smiles.

“Oh, that” he says looking at her. They’re in her house, on the kitchen table, each one of them focused of their respective homework or at least Edoardo was until her question pushed him back to reality. “I… I didn’t go” he avoids her eyes and decides to play with his pencil instead.

“Why not? Weren’t you feeling all right? She asks closing her book, giving him all of her attention. Eleonora, sweet Eleonora, always caring too much about everybody. Constantly making sure those around her are okay. Which makes lying harder. Edoardo feels like shit lying to her but he can’t tell her the truth. He can’t tell her he spent the night with someone he never even mentioned before. So, he chooses to lie and feel awful about it. “No, I mean, I just felt a little cold and with a headache.” He looks at their empty mugs. “I had to study anyway, so I just stayed home.”

“Do you feel better now? When he looks up, she’s smiling so warm that his heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, it’s probably a cold or something” he shrugs “Nothing to worry about”.

Eleonora scans his face with narrowed eyes. “If you still feel like this in three days, I’m taking you to the doctor” she half jokes holding a finger up.

“I’ll keep you updated” he suggests smiling fondly.

“Deal.” Eleonora offers him her hand to shake. He takes it and places his other hand on top of hers, feeling goosebumps in his back.

The bell rings. Eleonora’s hand disappears from his grip. “It’s probably Eva” she guesses standing up.

Edoardo stands up after she starts walking and rest his long body against the room’s entrance, watching her.

“What are you doing here?” Eleonora interrogates someone Edo can’t see.

“Hi, ragno, I missed you too” A guy replies making his entrance to Ele’s home and Edoardo quickly recognizes him. Filippo Sava. He throws his arms around Eleonora and lifts her up a few centimeters. She smiles and he spins with her still on his arms. They meet eyes and Edoardo feels dizzy.

“Edoardo Incanti” Filippo places Eleonora back on her feet and walks to him with an arm extended. “What a surprise to find you in my little sister’s home” he smiles brightly and Edoardo clumsily shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Filippo” Eleonora walks to them. “What are you doing here?” She’s using a tone Edoardo only remember her using it with Martino and the scenario makes him smile.

“I have a few days off”.

“What did Elia tell you?” Ele crosses her arm.

“Is there something he has to tell me?” Filippo smiles fades away and concern covers his face. “Or maybe something he hasn’t?” When his forehead’s furrowed, he looks more like his sister, Edoardo thinks observing him. “Eleonora.” He demands impatiently.

“There’s nothing to say” she scoffs with shaky voice. “Why aren’t you with him?” she asks, changing the topic.

Edoardo watches Filippo scan his sister face for a few seconds and then drift his eyes to him again.

“No way I’m gonna show up on my boyfriend’s door looking like this, ragno” he points at his body. “I gotta take a quick shower, a nap and then I’ll be ready. You gotta keep the magic alive. Don’t you think, Edoardo?” Filippo raises a brow to him.

“Uh… yeah” Edo clears his throat. “Yeah, I mean, I think Elia would be happy to see you, despite your look but it’s nice from you to… want to look handsome for me?” Edoardo isn’t sure if what he’s saying makes any sense and Filippo amused smile only confuses him more.

“I like you”. Filippo winks an eye to him. “So, tell me, what are your intentions with my little sister?” Filo’s invading Edoardo’s personal space and the tall boy thinks how different from one another these siblings are.

“Filippo” Eleonora slaps his arm.

“Yes, ragno?” he replies innocently.

“Didn’t you want to take a shower?”

“Oh, no. I can do that later” he waves her away from him. “I’m having a conversation with my friend Edoardo here”. Edo laughs, what else can he do?

“Filippo” he’s sure he had never seen her this irritated.

“What?” Filo turns to face her.

“Stop”.

“I’m just trying to get to know your friend, Ele” he puts too much emphasis into the word ‘friend’ for it to sound casual. “What’s your Hogwarts house? Filippo askes him intertwining his fingers.

“Okay” Eleonora closes her eyes briefly and fixes her hair. “I can make Giovanni and Luca to leave the house alone for Elia tonight” she steps closer. “Or I can make sure they don’t leave Elia’s side the whole night” Eleonora smiles with narrowed eyes.

Edoardo’s having the time of his life. He had never seen Eleonora like this and the way Filippo reacts to each word that come out of her with his whole body is surprisingly entertained. Edo knows he should leave but he’s having too much fun right now.

After a few seconds of silence Filippo turns to him. “I’ll be here a week; we will meet again” he squeezes Edoardo’s shoulder and turns to the opposite direction, heading to the bathroom and taking his suitcase in the way.

Once the older guy disappears from their sight Eleonora’s head falls against Edoardo’s arm. “I’m sorry” she murmurs.

“It’s okay” he says laughing. “He’s funny”.

“No, he’s not” she replies and Edoardo can feel her pouting. His hand find the back of her head and he plays with her hair lightly. “It’s fine. I like him” he assures her grinning and he swears he feels her smiling against his skin.

[lingenthusiast]

Do you want to talk about it?

Mercoledì - 27 febbraio 2019 - ore 21:34

Filippo: (21:34) Thanks for this evening, Eli Filippo: (21:34) I hope you had as much fun as I did

Elia smiled when he saw the messages. He did have fun. A lot. Talking, fooling around, taking, making out, talking, shagging, talking some more… It was nice and he loved that it started to become a regular thing. When he and Filippo first started meeting, he always thought it was a one-time-thing. Even after the third and fourth time, he was fairly sure that Filippo was in it just for the fun. After seeing each other several times a week for two months straight and texting whenever they were not around each other, he was positive they were dating, even though it wasn’t official. Somehow, it didn’t need to be.

Summary: Elia’s father is verbally abusive and Filippo is there for him afterwards.

warning: toxic parenting, verbal abuse, physical abuse mentions

and thanks once again to @loving-nicotino​ for reading through this <3

Filippo: (21:34) Thanks for this evening, Eli Filippo: (21:34) I hope you had as much fun as I did

Elia smiled when he saw the messages. He did have fun. A lot. Talking, fooling around, taking, making out, talking, shagging, talking some more… It was nice and he loved that it started to become a regular thing. When he and Filippo first started meeting, he always thought it was a one-time-thing. Even after the third and fourth time, he was fairly sure that Filippo was in it just for the fun. After seeing each other several times a week for two months straight and texting whenever they were not around each other, he was positive they were dating, even though it wasn’t official. Somehow, it didn’t need to be.

Elia: (21:34) I did have fun, yes Elia: (21:35) Thanks right back to you Filippo: (21:35) Especially for the second bj Filippo: (21:35) I give you an A+ for that one Elia: (21:35) Excuse me, all of my bjs are A+ Filippo: (21:35) A++ then Elia: (21:36) Thanks, teacher Filippo: (21:36) That sounds kinky Filippo: (21:36) I like it Elia: (21:36) I bet you do

He was grinning like mad when he unlocked the front door of their house and walked the stairs up to their apartment. It was a small but beautiful apartment, exactly the right size for him, his mum and his two younger sisters. When his mum had left his father a few years ago, she had left the house to him and Elia was glad for it. It was his family home, yes, but he didn’t really associate good memories with it. His father wasn’t the best human out there, he was selfish and short-tempered and kind of a loose cannon, especially with Elia. It has always been like that and Elia didn’t really know why. They’ve never had a good relationship and Elia was very happy whenever he could go a few weeks without seeing him.

When he opened the door to their apartment, he immediately noticed the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. Was his mum really cooking? She hardly ever did because most of the times she was too tired from working as a head secretary of a large company and caring for her three children. Elia and his 15 year-old sister Greta helped her a lot with the household and their little ten year-old sister Alessia - they didn’t really have a choice to be honest other than helping out, but it was okay. Everything was better than living with their father again. As it happened so rarely, it was always a nice surprise when his mum was cooking. Then they would all sit together at their dining table and talk a lot, remaining at the table until their mum sent them all to bed, one by one. These were wonderful evenings, full of laughter and joy and Elia’s heart was filled with warmth at the thought that today was one of these. Until…

— Eli? — Greta rushed out of the kitchen. The expression on her face was torn, as if she couldn’t decide which emotion she was feeling. — Yep, it’s me, sorry for being so late — He pocketed his phone, pushed his shoes from his feet and put them in the corner where all their shoes were piled on top of each other. — Did mamma cook? I’m starving! — Not mamma — Greta said and then, he suddenly understood.

He froze and stared at her. His face was drained of colour in a matter of seconds and his legs felt wobbly. He wasn’t prepared to see his father now. He always needed at least five hugs from his mum and his sisters before he was ready to face him, like hoarding reminders that he was loved, so he could use them as a mental buffer against whatever insult his father threw his way. Today he didn’t have these. And not only that, today he felt weirdly betrayed. He didn’t get any warning beforehand, not even a message either from his mum nor from Greta.

His father appeared in the hall.

— Hello Elia — He said. Unsurprisingly, his voice was just as cold as usual. — Hey papà — He replied and mechanically put his backpack on the floor, not really daring to meet his father’s eyes. — We cooked Coq Au Vin — Greta quickly said — Do you want some? You haven’t eaten yet, have you? — You cooked? — Elia asked, an uncertain smile on his lips. His sister was literally the worst cook in this family. — Nah, papà did the cooking and I did the… cutting vegetables. — That sounds about right. — His voice was still small but he grinned at her for a quick second. — Is Alessia in bed? — Of course she is — His dad replied — Do you know what time it is? It’s past 21:30. Elia just nodded.

Half a minute later, there was a full plate of coq au vin in the microwave and Elia watched it rotating to give his eyes something to focus on. He felt his father’s eyes on him, watching him with piercing eyes that made him all nervous. — Where have you been this long? — He asked. — I, ehm — Elia swallowed, his throat was dry. — I’ve been with friends. We were studying for the exams next week. — Greta said, you’ve been with your Mathematics tutor. Mathematics tutor, nice one, Greta. Elia blinked and swallowed again, thinking about how far off from studying the things were, that he did with Filippo. — Yeah, ehm, one of them tutors me in Maths. — Suddenly, he became all aware of that he was now sitting at the dinner table with his father although less than an hour ago, he had still been kissing Filippo. And before that, they had done way more than just kissing. Suddenly, he felt all dirty. He felt the desperate need for a shower and clean clothes, paranoid that his father would notice something, anything. Because that would end badly. — One of your friends? — His father asked sharply while his panic level rose steadily. — Yes, one of my friends. — Was his hair okay? Wasn’t it all messed up after sex? Did he smell of Filippo? Of another guy’s perfume? Or did he maybe smell extra sweaty? Was his dad sharp enough to notice that? — And your mother trusts you on that? Elia swallows yet again. — Yeah — He then answers — She does. — Until nine o’clock? — He had to work all afternoon. His father nods briefly, his eyebrows raised and Elia wasn’t sure whether he actually believed him or whether he just let this one slide. Greta handed him knife and fork and sat down at the table with them. — Thanks, love — He mumbled and gave her a small smile. The smile, however, was only short-lived. — Do you always make her serve you? — His father asked, his voice unpleasantly ringing in Elia’s ears — Who do you think she is? Your personal maid? Elia froze again. He really couldn’t do anything in his father’s presence without being targeted for the most random thing, when his father decided to harass him. His whole body started shaking and he quickly sat on his hands to at least hide them. — He doesn’t make me serve him! — Greta jumps to his defence. — You stay out of this — Their father snapped at her. — I don’t think she’s my maid — Elia said quickly, trying to keep his voice calm — And I didn’t ask her to give me the cutlery, she just did. — It’s just that I was still standing, so it was kind of natural to hand him knife and fork. We normally split chores — Greta explained, not necessarily intimidated by her father. She probably knew that he would never do anything to her, she just had to be careful so he wouldn’t make him any more angry at Elia. — Eli does all the cooking and I set the table. He does a lot around the flat, papà. The most of all of us. — He does all the cooking? — His father repeated mockingly — Good you’re all still alive then. Elia stared at his feet. This had to be over eventually. — You know, he’s a good cook, papà — Greta said, her voice had a certain edge to it, now . — If he’s such a good cook, how come he doesn’t teach you anything? — Their father continued to rant. He turned to Elia again — Have you actually seen her in the kitchen? She doesn't know shit! Don’t you think it’s your responsibility to help your sisters? — You’re a chef — Elia shouted — Why don’t you teach her? You taught me! — Are you really talking back right now? — His father stood up and leant towards Elia, threateningly. In this moment, the alarm on the microwave went off. Elia looked at it briefly and decided to ignore it, unsure of how his father would react if he left the argument just like that. Of course, this was the wrong thing to do. — What are you waiting for? That someone will go and get it for you? Are you kidding me? Elia’s eyes started to sting when he wordlessly stood up and got his plate out of the microwave. It was really hot to touch but he didn’t care. — May I eat in my room? — He asked quietly, afraid of the answer but he wanted to leave the kitchen so badly that he took the risk. — Does your mother allow you to eat in your room? — His father started once again. Elia just exhaled slowly, tried to blink the tears away and sat back down at the table. — This family is a mess. Does Antonella teach you any manners at all? Or does she just let you do whatever you want to do? You wouldn’t behave this badly if you stayed with me, that’s for sure. Elia just stared at his plate. He wasn’t hungry anymore, not at all.

As soon as Elia stored his plate in the dishwasher, his father let him go. It was late anyway and while his dad sat down in front of the TV, Elia and Greta both went into the bathroom to get ready for the night.

When they were out of their father’s sight, Greta turned to Elia, her bad consciousness written all over her face. — I’m so sorry, Eli — She whispered and touched his arms awkwardly, unsure of whether she was allowed to hug him or not. — A heads-up would have been nice — Elia sighed and pulled her close. She immediately put her arms around his waist. — I’m so sorry — She said again, her voice shaky — I thought you wouldn’t come home tonight anyway, and you shouldn’t know papà was here because then you would have come home for sure. — Of course, Greta — He replied — I would never leave you alone with him. — He’s okay when it’s just us — She assured him. — Really. Elia swallowed. He knew she said it to calm him down, to stop him worrying when his sisters were alone with their father but it still stung. He knew, he was a red rag to his dad but he didn’t know why. Anyway, Elia would never be able to forgive himself for not being there to protect his sisters if his father ever insulted or even hit them.

As soon as he said goodbye to a still totally guilt-ridden Greta, he escaped to his bedroom, closed his door and checked his phone. His mum had tried to call him and left several messages.

Mama: (22:06) Elia, sweetheart, I totally forgot to call you. This day is such a mess, I’m so sorry. I had to go on a two-day business trip with my boss because my colleague fell ill and couldn’t go, so I had to jump in. I tried to get your aunt to watch you for the next two days but she couldn’t, so I had to call your father. If it gets too much between the two of you, you can stay at one of your friend’s if their parents are okay with it. It’s only two days. If you need to talk, call me. I love you, mama

He was only a second away from calling her right on the spot, longing for his mother’s comforting words but then he stopped. She was on a business trip and he was not a little child anymore who needed his mommy. Other than that, he would cry as soon as he heard her voice and she would notice and then she would call his father or tell him after the trip and they would fight and his father would only get angrier at him.

So he took a deep breath and closed his mother’s chat. He went back to the other messages, checking who else texted him. His gaze quickly landed on one name.

Filippo: (21:37) can we meet again tomorrow or do you have other plans? Filippo: (21:39) are you home yet?

Filippo. They have talked about what was going on in Elia’s family before and Filippo had been nothing but understanding. He hasn’t been awkward about it, he hasn’t laughed when Elia’s eyes had been shining with tears when he - very briefly - talked about the relationship with his dad. With Filippo, he could talk about things like that, about things he didn’t really want to talk about with any of his friends. With Filippo, though, it didn’t feel weird. With Filippo it was fine.

Elia quickly listened whether his father was still watching TV and then made a silent wish that the volume of the TV was loud enough so that he wouldn’t hear him talking. He took off his clothes, put on a clean t-shirt and laid down in bed. He dialled Filippo’s number and dragged his duvet over his head to block as much noise as possible. — Hey — Filippo’s voice cheered through the phone. Elia couldn’t breathe. It felt as if all the weight was lifted from his shoulders but someone kicked him in the stomach at the same time. — You can’t get enough of me, can you? — Filippo said contently, a smile evident in his voice. — No, I can’t actually — Elia answered. He aimed for joking but his voice was shaking. Filippo was quiet for a second. — Are you okay? — He asked then, as if he wasn’t sure. — My father is here — Elia just said. Filippo understood. — What? Why? — He asked, alarmed, all traces of delight now gone. — My mum had to go on a business trip at short notice. — Okay… Fuck, Elia! Are you okay? — No, don’t worry, I’m okay… physically — He added for the sake of honesty. —  He just made it clear that he doesn’t like me. But I knew that anyway, so… it’s okay. — Oh babe, I’m so sorry. Do you want me to pick you up? You can stay at mine. — Elia thought about it. He thought about the smell of Filippo’s apartment, the smell of the sheets, that were so familiar by now. He thought about Filippo’s bed, about lying in there, next to this gorgeous young man. He thought about cuddles and soft little kisses and comfort... He exhaled shakingly. — I would love to but I shouldn't sneak out. I don’t know how he’s going to react. — His whole body tightened at the thought of that. — I’m not 18, yet, Fili. Filippo swallowed audibly. — Are you safe in there? Elia stayed silent for a while. He was safe for now, yes and he would have to go to school early the next morning. He would try not to attract his father’s attention when they were in the same room, so he should be fine. His father was so angry tonight because Elia had been home late but that was only because Elia didn’t know. Tomorrow he would be smarter than that. — Yes, Fili, please. Don’t worry — I will be more careful. He added silently. Filippo’s voice got angry. — I swear to God, Elia, if he touches you only once, I’ll call the police. — No, Fili — Elia said, his voice wobbly but determined at the same time — You can’t do that. Best-case scenario would be, they come to check, they don’t believe me and my father gets angrier than he has ever been which, believe me, we don’t want that. And worst-case scenario would be that I couldn’t go back to living with my mum. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about it, a lot. So please, don’t tell anyone. He was full-on crying now and his voice became thinner with every word but Filippo understood anyway. — Okay — He quickly said — I would never do anything if you’re not okay with it, Elia. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make it worse. I’m just worried. Elia let out a sob. — I shouldn’t have told you, I’m sorry. — What? — You’re worrying. I don’t want you to worry. I’m going to hang up now, sorry for... Filippo interrupted him. — Of course I’m worrying, when I know you’re with this asshole of a father! But it’s okay, Eli, it’s not your fault. Oh babe...  — Filippo sounded miserable.  — Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to talk about it? — About what? — About what happened after you came home? — I don’t know? Do you want to hear it? Filippo did want to hear about it, so Elia told him everything what has happened and how he was feeling about it. It felt strange to talk about it in so much detail and it felt a bit like he was going through it all over again but even though he was still crying, he felt better afterwards. — I love Greta — He added after a short while. His voice was so quiet that Filippo hardly understood him — I love her with all my heart but sometimes she makes me so angry, just because she can do whatever she wants and it’s fine. When I watch her working in the kitchen, I get so aggressive, that I have to leave. If I would hold a knife the same way she does, my father would probably stab me with it. But with her… it’s okay, because it’s Greta. With me, it’s not okay, because it’s Elia. — He wiped the tears off his face with the back of his hand. — I’m so sorry, Eli — Filippo said softly — He’s a bastard and I hope you know that. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, nobody does but you the least of us all. You’re the most kind-hearted person I know. — Don’t say that — Elia said, half smiling, half sobbing. — I’m really not. — Of course you are! — Filippo insisted, his voice firm now — Look at you. I don’t even know how you do it! If I were you, I would be so bitter because you had to go through so much shit, but you’re not bitter at all. You’re so positive and optimistic and open-minded and funny and lovely and just nice. You help your mother so much at home! You take care of your sisters. You are always there for your friends, always supporting them. — I mostly make fun of them. — Elia interjected, a bit overwhelmed by Filippo’s warm words. — We both know this is your way to show a person how much you like them. Elia froze. He hadn’t known Filippo had picked up on that. There was a pause, Filippo considering his next words. — And you are so perceptive. You immediately know when something is wrong. And you care, so much. You ask what’s wrong and you want to make it better because you can’t stand when another person is feeling bad. Elia hid his face in his pillow. — You make me sound like a saint. Filippo laughed. — I wouldn’t go that far but for me, you’re as close to a saint as it gets. You are so giving. Look how sweet you are with me, Elia. I mean, you do give awesome blow jobs and the sex is always so good but there is so much more to it. I don’t know whether you notice but you constantly ask me how I’m feeling, whether I’m comfortable, whether I need anything - even though I’m your first guy. This is normally the other way around. You just care, you know? And since day one you cook for me whenever I say I’m getting hungry, even though we are always at my apartment. — I was afraid of being intruding at first. — Yeah sure, let me tell you, it’s the absolute worst to have a lovely guy cook for you after sex. Filippo chuckled softly and Elia smiled into his pillow. Elia noticed that at some point during Filippo’s little speech, his heart had actually slowed down a bit. His breathing was more even now than it has been since he walked through the front door earlier tonight. They were silent for a while. — There’s so much I like about you — Filippo whispered at some point. Elia whiped the remaining tears off his face. — There’s a lot I like about you, too — He whispered back. — We’re not talking about me tonight. Today, it’s your turn. — I don’t know whether it’s a good idea to meet tomorrow — Elia abruptly changed the subject because suddenly it felt, as if he couldn’t handle all these emotions inside of him. There was so much hurt, there was hate, but there was warmth and gratitude and love as well. — Okay. Then any other time — Filippo said and it sounded as if he wanted to protest but chose not to. — Whatever you are comfortable with. Elia nodded and drew his legs closer to his chest. — Can we text and call tomorrow? It really helped to talk to you. —  He then asked sheepishly. — Of course. I’ll have my phone on me all the time, okay? And we can talk about whatever you want. We can talk about your dad or your sisters or about anything. Or if you just need to be distracted, you tell me, okay? Elia nodded again, even though he knew that Filippo couldn’t see him. Again, there was silence. — Thank you for being here for me, Fili. For talking me down. — Thank you for being in my life, Elia. — Thank you for being in mine. There was a long pause, the weight of these words slowly sinking in. — Can you tell me about your day? — Elia then asked. Filippo promptly started talking. He talked about photoshoots and weird poses and annoying people and after a while, he actually got a laugh out of Elia.

They talked a bit longer and when Elia began to drift off, Filippo continued talking about the most random things he just happened to come up with. He stayed on the line until he was certain, Elia was asleep. Only then he dared to hang up.

Filippo (00:12): thank you for calling me Filippo (00:12): thank you for trusting me with this Filippo (00:12): you’re the strongest person I know Filippo (00:16): and I mean it when I say, I’m glad that you’re a part of my life now