#i am worthless. the subject of the card is worthless (which hurts bc my main fave oc boy whom i totally don't project onto). and i nor my
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sudden crippling certainty that i am shit at everything i love and should p e r i s h for this sin and crime...
#don't u just love how dramatic i am#also idk wtf. why this is such a problem rn.#the first tarot card i've drawn isn't as impressive as the one(s) after it; and for some reason my mind has decided that this means#i am worthless. the subject of the card is worthless (which hurts bc my main fave oc boy whom i totally don't project onto). and i nor my#efforts will ever be worth what i want it to be worth.#GAH.#that's an unfair thing to think. besides; idk why it's so important for it to be important to other ppl to... guess it's in part the whole#'it's not what i thought it was to them'. which does not come from art at all XD#and i'm venting here bc it helps *gently flips the bird*#also how do i save the playlist youtube makes outta the songs i'v elistened to bc daaannng#i'm actually sorry to the things i create for not creating it well enough - does anybodyelse feel that way? i'm desperate bc i'll never be#able to match the love for my stuff with equivalent skill at portraying it. idk why this hurts so much.#maybe yet another thing where skill is made out to be more important than what it really is.#siiigghhhs so this totally has nothing to do with art and everything w/ my Issues TM#well then i just need to stop overthinking. yeet.
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