#i am sure they would work their way to a nice healthy symbiotic relationship

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

i think that after his horrible horrible breakup crowley should get really into abba. idk. trust me on this guys .

[monkberries]

I would only ever admit this on anon but…. I just don't find Paul and Linda that romantic? Like I know they were both happy with what they had so my retroactive opinion is just unnecessary bullshit, but sometimes I see people point to them as the ideal couple and I just don't really "get it". To me Paul and Linda are a pretty textbook example of someone with very powerful anxious attachment (Paul) finding someone with a deep-seated need to please/satisfy others (Linda) and their emotional pathologies feeding on each other until it creates a symbiotic balance. (And btw I don't blame or judge either of them in the slightest, or consider them to be "toxic", bc anxious attachment is an involuntary reaction to severe abandonment trauma and emotional neglect that a person very much does not choose to experience, and excessive self sacrifice is very common in women esp from a certain generation and also not something to demonize.) And if that symbiotic balance was a positive thing to them then it really is wonderful and should be celebrated as a positive relationship. And yet... when I hear stuff about Linda getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night because she was taking care of the farm, the kids, the house, and providing support to Paul in his musical career, it grates on me that so many people think this is ideal. It's not *bad*, btw -- if that's what people want they should go for it! I just wonder if it should be *aspired* to. But, again, they were happy with each other, and that's more than I can say for my own relationships. And I know I definitely lean too hard to the "I can take care of myself" side of things, so I should probably take a few steps back and give them the benefit of the doubt. I might just not recognize their idea of happiness bc it doesn't suit me personally, and that's no reason to judge them. Still, when I hear stuff like "they never voluntarily spent a night apart" I just think holy shit that's some pathologically anxious and paranoid attachment. (And yet… I know someone irl who says they only believe love is real bc of Paul and Linda. So clearly there's a certain magic here I'm not picking up on.)

I love this, anon, and thank you for telling me. I feel similarly in that I am so independent as to be pretty near hermit-like, so spending every night with someone for 30 years sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. Whatever worked for them, I guess.

The whole "never spent a night apart" thing does ring faint "hmm is this healthy?" alarm bells. It actually also reminds me a little bit of the way my father (a pastor) and other male pastors we knew would work when they had to meet with women alone. They would never drive them anywhere alone, there always needed to be someone else in the building if they were in the office together, door open, so on and so on. It was to keep any impropriety from going on. I wonder if there was a similar antiquated vibe in Paul and Linda's relationship, where he made sure to spend every night with her (or she made sure of it?) so as to assure each other no funny business was going on.

Or I dunno, maybe it was just a nice relationship and they really did like each other that much.

[anon-rebel-writes]

Of Pink Fairies and Teenage Boys - 2

Hi everyone! I hope your day has been going well!

The second chapter is finally here! I’m really sorry for the long wait! I found myself writing the future chapters instead of the chapter that I needed to upload XD

This part is a bit shorter than what I wanted it to be, but I still like it! I hope you enjoy it too!

It begins under the cut! <3 Ao3 Link

Soft humming pulled Luka out of his sleep. He turned his head towards the sound and saw Marinette floating around, cleaning and tidying his room. Marinette, the fairy girl, because his life totally needed more chaos than normal.

She must’ve heard him shuffling around because she whipped her head to him and flew up to his face. “Good morning, Monsieur Couffaine! How was your rest?” Luka managed to sit straight and wiped his face quickly to help wake himself up. Usually he would wake up with his back feeling strained, but surprisingly he felt pretty good.

Well maybe not surprisingly, Marinette probably had something to do with his relaxed body, seeing as her magic is what made him fall asleep. But he couldn’t help feeling bad about it all, this poor girl was using her magic on him. Suddenly his mind filled with cloudy thoughts, he was supposed to help people, not the other way around.

Taking a deep breath, he plastered a smile on his face for her. “It was great! I’m feeling a lot better now. I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already have, so you can leave if you need to.” Marinette gave him a big pout for her little body, her hands landed on her hips as she glared at him.

“Monsieur Couffaine, I’m not leaving you. I can feel how unhappy you still are. Fairies can detect emotions very easily, especially human emotions, you’re all so transparent with your feelings.” His facade disappeared and he ran his hands through his hair. “Right. Sorry, I just don’t like bothering people,” he looked down at his lap and let his hands play with the fraying hem of his shirt.

With his head down, he couldn’t see her pout disappearing and a sympathetic look took over. Before she could give him encouraging words, loud groaning came from the other side of the divider. Luka’s eyes flew wide open and he tried to grab Marinette to hide her. “Miss Fairy! You have to hide!” The divider flew wide open and a very dazed Juleka appeared, “What did you just call me?”

Her sluggish eyes pierced through him as she scowled, “I’d be offended, but I’m honestly way too tired to care about it.” Luka’s eyes flew to Marinette but she set a finger on her lips and winked. He stared at her a little longer before Juleka walked over to him and the tiny fairy fazed through her body. “Dude, are you good? You’re acting weirder than usual, and you’re usually pretty weird,” Juleka squinted and leaned towards him. “You seem off.”

This was crazy. Yesterday Luka learned that fairies were real, now his fairy (his fairy, wow that sounds insane) could faze through people? And Juleka couldn’t see her? Maybe this was a dream and Marinette wasn’t even real. While a huge part of Luka wanted to scream from the utter chaos that was running through his mind, a tiny part of him was hurt.

He’s been off for a while, didn’t she notice that before? He tried to push the bad thoughts out of his mind and faked a smile for her. “Sorry, Jules. I just had a weird dream. Don’t worry about me, okay?” Although Juleka didn’t seem convinced, she also appeared too tired to argue.

She scanned him over one last time before shuffling out of the room. Once they were sure she was gone, Marinette popped in front of Luka. The bright smile on her face completely contrasted Luka’s disoriented expression. “Yeah, uh, what was that?! She can’t see you?! Are you even real?”

Marinette rolled her eyes playfully at him and sat on his shoulder. “You’re not crazy, Monsieur Couffaine. I’m hiding myself from other humans for my own safety.”

Luka narrowed his eyes at her and lifted a hand to catch her. She moved into his palm and he brought her to his face. “Hey, why do Fairies wanna help humans anyways? Didn’t you say humans were known to attack you or something?” Marinette sighed and began running her hands along the lines of his hands.

“Fairies get our magic from emotions. Human emotions are strong and powerful, so we come here to feed off of them. Negative emotions happen to be the strongest, so we come by whenever humans feel depressed. It’s a symbiotic relationship! We get the magic so we can stay alive and healthy, and you end up feeling better!”

“So if you take my negative emotions, I don’t have to feel sad again?” Luka sat back down on the bed and let her lay on his lap. He was beginning to understand the situation. She shuffled to get a better seat, “No, we don’t take the emotions away. Just- oh! Think of it as a pond with lily pads!”

And he was lost again. “Your emotions are the water, and the lily pads are the magic you give off. You’re a fish living in the water who can’t use the lily pads. So we fairies take them off the water and it helps bring light into the pond. Make sense?”

“Other than the fact that you compared me to a fish? Absolutely.”

Marinette giggled and flew out of his lap. He watched as she dove into his dresser and pulled out a pre-planned outfit for him. It was a simple t-shirt, one of the few ones he had that hadn’t been ripped, and some simple blue jeans. Luka lifted an eyebrow at her, a smirk tugged at his mouth. “You’re planning my outfits too? A fairy who loves fabric and plans outfits.”

Marinette’s face lit up and she threw the outfit at him, moving to sit down on his amp. “Looking good means feeling good! I don’t know if you could tell, but I always look good.” She pressed her hands together and gave him a little pout, “Please trust me, Monsieur Couffaine? I think the outfit looks nice...”

Her pout made his stomach do weird flips. He sighed and laid the clothes on the bed next to him. “You can call me Luka, y’know. ‘Monsieur Couffaine’ is way too fancy for me- and please don’t say that ‘Sounding Nice means Being Nice’ because I promise you, I’ll find a way to make it awkward.”

She gently shook her head and waved her hand at him. “Fine, ‘Luka’. I’ll call you whatever you want. But I’m still trying to get a feel for you, so if you don’t like the outfit, we can find something better later, okay?”

While he knew he would like it, considering how simple of an outfit it was, he still was thankful she was willing to be patient with him. He finally stood up and began fiddling with his shirt. “Just - um - Look away please?”

Marinette quickly nodded and fazed through the wall to give him privacy. But Luka was sure that her glow seemed a little brighter than normal, although it could’ve just been his imagination. Honestly after finding out that fairies were actual creatures, he wasn’t sure what was real anymore. He was still doubting Marinette’s existence.

After changing and letting Marinette inspect the outfit to make sure it was perfect, he quickly waved goodbye to Juleka and began to head out the boat. The fairy sat on his shoulder to keep up with him.

“So where are we going next? Oh, let me guess! School, right? I’ve heard about human schools. They seem so fun! I’ve always wanted to go into a school and pretend to be a human! ‘Hello my learner-person. I am a human girl, Marinette! Give me my learning please!’ How was that?! Convincing?” She was so enthusiastic about school, honestly it made him feel a little bad that he wasn’t going there.

“Very convincing. With a little more practice, you could...totally pass for a human?”

The way she wiggled her feet in delight made his cheeks burn. He couldn’t help but imagine her reactions to other human things, everything about her was so cute. “Thank you! But I don’t think I could ever actually be a human, being a fairy is way better. I’ll leave the humaning to the humans.”

They shared a small laugh before he began riding his bike to pick up his deliveries for the day. “But um- We’re not going to school. It’s the summer, school is out. I’m actually going to my job.” She hummed an acknowledgement as she held tightly to his shirt.

After collecting his first round of pizzas, he decided to let her sit in his basket. They rode in silence for a while, with the occasional gasp and excited shriek coming from Marinette as they passed some interesting humans.

“So...how long are you supposed to be with me? Not that I mind- I mean, you’re cute- Or uh, fun. Sorry, I never usually stutter like this. Not that there’s anything wrong with stuttering- wow I suck at words…” Marinette looked up at him and gave him an easygoing smile, which used to be his thing but clearly life has been against him lately.

“Well that kind of depends on you? However long it takes you to become happy, that’s how long I’ll be around. Hey, speaking of happiness and jobs and happiness for jobs, how does your job make you feel?”

Luka looked at the basket filled pizzas and the little fairy. While she was adorable, it was clear she wasn’t much better with words than he was, which comforted him a bit. Luka obviously wasn’t a huge fan of deliveries, but he needed the money. More specifically, his family needed the money. “I mean... it’s a job. I don’t think anyone’s job makes them happy. Especially not when they’re my age, most people would rather never work again, right?”

The fairy stared at the sidewalk they rode on. She seemed stuck on contemplating his question, her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes seemed distant. “Yeah, I guess so.” Luka wanted to ask what she meant, but they reached his first delivery, a simple apartment complex. He grabbed the order and let Marinette sit on his shoulder.

Walking to the specific apartment, she stared at everything they passed in awe. She made small comments on a few people they passed and a few pictures they saw on the wall. As they got to the specific flat, they waited for the person to open the door.

“So what're your career goals?”

Luka looked at the girl and raised an eyebrow. “You’re still thinking about that?” Her eyes brightened and she quickly nodded her head. “Of course! I’m very interested in you! I mean- not interested! I am! But in a professional way! Not in a weird romantic way! Oh gosh, imagine! It’d be another Adrien situation-!” Marinette covered her mouth as she realized what she said.

His brain felt like it shut down. Interested? In me? He tried to shake away those thoughts and focused on something else she said, “Adrien situation? What’s that?”

Before the fairy could answer, the door swung open. After a quick exchange of pizza and money, they made their way back down the apartment building. “So… how about those career goals?” Luka looked at Marinette and saw she was obviously trying to avoid the previous topic.

“Well...I’m really curious about the Adrien situation. If you can’t talk about it, I understand, but I would love to know?”

Marinette grew quiet for a bit. He grew nervous that he overstepped his place. “Sorry-” “He was my friend.”

Luka sat her back down in his basket as he began riding down the sidewalk. “Friend?” She looked up at him then moved her gaze to the path ahead of them. “Well, he was more than my friend. I...might’ve had a huge crush on him...”

Fairies having crushes was definitely a strange concept, but he supposed that it made sense. Since their magic had a lot to do with emotions, it seemed reasonable that they felt love too. Although for some strange reason, his heart felt like it was tightening.

“He never felt the same way. Which was fine! I didn’t mind. But he ended up falling in love with a human girl, I think her name was Kagami? He was so...in love.” Her demeanor turned bleak as her glow dimmed. Luka was about to stop her before she started weakly laughing. “That’s okay though! I’m happy for him, really. But because she was a human, that meant he couldn’t be with her. So he gave up his powers to live in the mortal world.”

Luka made his way to the next stop, a small, cosy house. He stopped his bike and waited in front of the residence while she talked. “You can do that? Fairies can just...give up their powers? Can you get them back?” Marinette shook her head. She quickly looked around and noticed that they already made it to their next destination. “But that’s fine! Like I said, I’m happy for him! Come on, Monsieur- I mean- Luka. We should continue your job! Then you can tell me more about yourself!”

He gave her a sympathetic smile and began moving the pizzas to get this next delivery. “Y’know, I may not be a fairy and magical like you, but I’ve heard that I’m a good listener. If you ever wanted to talk- Or not, I mean you don’t have to.” His hands felt a bit clammy. Why was he feeling so strange? His chest felt like it was being pushed down, was it her magic?

Marinette flew up to his face and gave him a sweet smile. “Luka, it’s my job to make you happy. Not the other way around. Come on, let’s go! I wanna get all your sad juices outta ya!”

She flew ahead of him towards the door, completely ignoring how her words made his face change colors drastically.

The rest of the day went fairly normally, aside from a few strange stares from people they passed by. This confused Luka until he remembered that he was the only one who could see the tiny floating girl in his basket. By the time they got home, the sun was starting to set. He made his way into his cabin, seeing as his mom and sister weren’t home yet.

Once they entered his room, Marinette flew into her hoodie/bed and stretched as she snuggled into it. “Today was fun, I love learning about humans… especially about you. Your life is so fun…” Her words slowed as her glow dimmed. She seemed to be falling asleep already.

Luka rolled his eyes at her playfully before laying down on his bed himself. “Yeah, I love having you around. Having a fairy friend is pretty cool. It’s nice having someone to talk to.” Her eyes opened slightly as a lazy smile took over her face. “Fairy friend?”

He chuckled at her and pulled the hoodie a little more over her body. “Yeah, Fairy Friend.”

[doggroomerrants]

Challenges @ work

So now that I have gotten my little intro out of the way, the next thing to get out of the way is my most immediate thoughts and the main reason why I started a journal. 

I HAVE SO MANY CHALLENGES! And I don’t like to talk about them super directly to people because I also feel compassion is necessary if one wants to survive the grooming industry. But I need a way to let the frustration out! I can’t keep it bottled in!

So, here goes one of them... (There’s more but this one needs a whole few posts dedicated to it)

-Clients- 

Why do we have such a complicated relationship with the very people who keep us in business? The truth is that we need eachother! (Or their dogs need us, anyway.) This is supposed to be a symbiotic relationship! Why do we butt heads so much!? I’ll tell you why: Some of us seem to be unwilling to compromise. We forget that the priority should be the pet - ALWAYS. So regardless of who we are or whether we like the client’s/groomer’s personality, we need to put the dog’s needs first. And dogs need grooming as part of a well balanced, healthy life. 

Now, that being said. I notice that a lot of pet owners have unrealistic expectations on what their dogs should be/look like, therefore they have unrealistic expectations on what a pet care worker needs to do in order to achieve said ideas. At the risk of sounding old fashioned - I blame social media for this. 

I don’t know if you have seen this but there are countless of social media platforms and accounts of INCREDIBLY talented groomers out there. Who put out pictures of amazing, mind blowing work! Honestly, the amount of times my jaw drops when I am scrolling through instagram is countless. There’s tones of posts on facebook, videos on youtube, tiktok, pinterest... you name it. And when we see that, as groomers, we understand there is a lot that happened behind the scenes. There was a lot of work that came before the nice instagram picture. We know, and through this perspective, we are able to appreciate it in a very different way than the average person does. There are a lof or pet owners seeing this cute pinterest doodles and they want, no sorry, they NEED that look.. I mean, understandably so, they do look super cute... But then are dissapointed to find that their groomer couldn’t quite pull it off. 

Your dog may look cute as all heck, but not quite like you hoped and there are many different factors as to why your groomer wasn’t quite able to give you the pinterest look you were hoping for. Many of which we would love to talk to you about, if only you would listen. Please just listen, I promise we mean no harm. 

The thing is that we are more than just Fur-Stylists, and your dog is more than just a picture. We work on all kinds of different dogs - with different personalities, lifestyles, histories and training levels. Some are more cooperative than others, some are more resilient to stress triggers than others, some are more trained than others, some are maintained at home more than others. And we need to take everything that encompasses your dog into consideration, in order to figure out the best way to work with them in a safe manner. Yes, that also means that appointments will be scheduled according to this as well - not just according to when it is convenient to you. 

Please just try to remember that if you want your dog well cared for, sometimes you will need patience and an open mind. Remember that your dog is also an individual and they won’t ever be EXACTLY like any other dog - and every other dog won’t be exactly like yours either. So next time you go in for an appointment and you are not happy with the end result, make sure to bring it up in a respectful way (Groomers, you need to be willing to listen too!) and see if there is a happy medium that can be achieved. If you find that you want to try a different groomer, that is totally fair too. It is your dog, your decision. 

Just maybe leave the rude treatment aside? I cannot tell you the amount of times people have just about chewed my head off because I apparently missplaced my magic wand and couldn’t make an appointment slot magically appear,  or I couldn’t magically make their dog look like the completely different breed depicted in the provided pinterest picture, or I had to shave down a coat due to severe matting... Remember that I do my best to treat your pet with the utmost kindness and respect and it’s only fair that you extend that same courtesy to me. I am a human, just like you.

[snkret-photography]

Symbiosis

The manner in which we attract people has always stirred an interest in me during late night insomnia. What is it about the people around us, those we gravitate to? What drives that attraction? Especially in light of the fact in the realm of friendship, opposite attraction isn’t one we typically employ. As a matter of fact, nailed down the nuances of the person, similarity is a more appropriate measurement. But still, the question plagues me: why are these your friends?

For background, I have sourced the worst descriptors as a pompous, manipulative, egotistical, selfish bastard who can’t spare the thought of being anything short of a bitch without the slightest refrain for people’s feelings. People had nice things to say but who cares, we live for the drama so let’s be a little dramatic. And I find the nastier descriptions are more derived from the fact I really enjoy being the bitch in a given situation. I fucks with a good argument. Debates are healthy. Keep that same energy because even when I’m not mad anymore, I fucking will. To the point of shrewd descriptions, neither I nor my closest and even not closest of friends would describe me as such... all the time. Which launches the paradox of the descriptions of people I’m interacting with. Makes you question if everything is just an act. (Maybe in another post).

I have upbeat friends. Like super upbeat, positive, nurturing, give back to the world, selfless friends. The kind who you really want to punch in the face because who can afford to be that positive all the damn time. The type of friends that anytime you just bought yourself something really expensive and unnecessary, they just donated an equal amount to help the less-fortunate and your bank accounts looking the same right about now. My friends are nothing short of everyday role models and God’s top angel brigade. And that is VERY contrary to my entire attire. Like I’m crabby… on Saturdays. I wear a frown proud to Friday meetings and adorn the crown of misery to add a length of black to every setting. I’m mean and vicious without rhyme or reason and quick to put you in your place if I assume you’re stepping one toe nail out of the lines I’ve drawn for you. I don’t greet strangers and generally when people meet me, it’s after being given some spiel about how I won’t like them and they need to be prepared for me not to be receptive. In fact, I believe I touched on this before but it’s always someone giving anecdotes of me. Only in work settings am I really ever “the positive” one but that’s more so because I enjoy working and have no problem entertaining a conversation. But work isn’t necessarily the place where I go to make friends and quite frankly, when I’m out with friends, I don’t want new ones. How Drake say it? No new friends, no new friends, no new friends, no, no new.

I got COMPLETELY sidetracked… my friends…. annoyingly positive angels. Yes. I am not. Also yes. So why do we click? I don’t really know but you’ve read this far so you might as well let me put this philosophy minor to use and jump to a conclusion. Balance. I mean, that makes total sense. We balance each other out. I provide a dimmer view of humanity and the happenings and my friends provide a light. Now, here’s how I got to this theory:

For things to have a balance, and a proper balance is key, there needs to be homeostasis derived from a symbiotic relationship. In an age where I can substitute the physical presence of a person with a Facetime call or back/forth text conversation, symbiotic develops a much looser meaning. But alas, we depend on each other for something that allows us to live and create homeostasis. But none of my friends are positive or super heroes in the same manner. I have friends that are legit saints and others that are strictly positive but damn they sin. So the relationships we have differ. When I call on them, it’s often for different reasons. I have closer and deeper relationships with some over others but I never discount the value they add. My friends are people I actually grow with and can count on when I’m headed into a new venture. There is even the ones who inspire me to try something completely out of my wheelhouse and take risks. My friends are also HIGHLY emotional and damned be if that shit ain’t draining. But that’s where the symbiosis comes in because your boy is a logic fiend. I make pro/con lists for big decisions and simply make lists and posts it for everything else. Exhaust your options, make an educated decision, whole nine every time.

Having a preference for logic often times makes me more pessimistic and fearful of my own emotions. A creative who don’t fuck with emotions… that don’t even type right. But I am highly in-tuned with the emotional states of other. I just often don’t care to operate there so the bitch you get. After years of sugar coating and making feedback palatable has left me in a position to simply give information however it comes to me. Take it how you will,  just focus on what I’m saying over how I’m saying it. Those with sensitive friends will know that this approach does not go over without some push back. Why you always got to be so mean? Why can’t you be more sensitive? Why can’t you make better decisions because I know we’ve had this conversation before. And it’s always over a dude. Like sis, date yourself. Bro, jerk the fuck off. And yet, my friends still lean on me for emotional support or creative feedback because, and I quote, “you’ll always tell me what I need to hear, regardless of if it’s what I want to hear.” AND YOU GODDAMN RIGHT.  Something I’ve noticed among my friends is that because of how nice and pleasant they are, people often times don’t give them bad news, or at least show a reluctance to. They try the whole, compliment then take a jab or dance around the subject or good news/bad news. They bullshit. There are enough bullshit people in this world, a little brute honesty and realism would carry us all quite far.

So I give it to them straight and they keep me positive. Opposites attract theorem. Best I got? Not quite. And I shall broaden this to a population topic despite an improper sample size and no control variables in place. (Did I ever mention I really love science? Like not just concepts, lingo and all fields except chemistry.) It is more in the factors of nature vs nurture and runs inline with our own interests. The natural inclination of man is towards survival and survival in social context refers to friends and lovers. The whole opposites attracts theorem is derived out of the concept of balance but also from the point of differentiation. We are naturally inclined towards those different than us in the gene theory that to breed stronger offspring, more variables need to be in the equation to give the child the ability to survive in conditions. The inception of a child is a 2 part system of dominant genes and mutation. I want to nerd out and really get eloquent and quote some shit but I shall simplify it to the example of a parent with seasonal allergies and one without, the hope is the offspring won’t have them. This theory loops in well to Darwinism, the strong shall survive, and thus the idea is to breed for strong genes. This theory, mixed with century racism also led to a lot of in-breeding as aristocratic family lines believed that “pure” blood was the way to keep genes strong and ensure a strong bloodline. West Virginia and Staten Island both share the fall-out of that belief, high autism rates. When you mix similar genes, it’s not really the trade one over the other nor mutate to a better gene, but rather mutate to a dysfunctional gene. In a friendship setting, we often see two people who are very much alike. You know the common tale of the girls joined at the hip and the bromances. But often times, in friendships where there is a distinct difference in the perceived personalities of the friends, we go with the opposites attract theory. Now broaden it. It’s not always that they are distinctly different. Often times the two have very similar personalities and interests yet the approach to the outside world is different. Which boils down to how they were raised and the beliefs they hold. But at their cores, they share a lot of the same characteristics. Even more so, and to my point, it’s the idea of interest. We always have our own interest at heart, even in altruism. The fact of giving back to someone without physical return does not discount the emotional return that is exchanged. You can trade a good for a service. And if you have ever taken NYC subways, you know you can sub a dollar for a smile. We often times invest in friends that we know have our best interests at heart. I give blunt advice, not necessarily because I have something to gain but because without a full picture, you cannot make an informed decision. We should all be out here making informed decisions. My friends give hope and kindness, which is not bountiful in this world. They are optimistic and caring and go out of their way to make sure I’m good. So I feed on the hope they provide and they make more informed decisions. Together, we navigate life knowing that we can fall and get up on our own… but we don’t have to.