#i am never beating the peer-reviewed ocd allegations. i just haven't talked about that shit much before because i thought. well. idk.
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prof sent the first chapter of all the books we're going to read and guys i think 'paul takes the form on a mortal girl' is going to be this semester's 'killing myself novel'
#just from that first chapter. idk something about reading it and then being in a classroom where everyone else has read it. um. uh.#feels like. augh. i'll say something by accident because i have a horrible habit of interrupting people when i get crazy about something#like when i was little and i would practice just like saying normal shit because i thought that if i was thinking about something#people would be able to hear it. or i wouldn't have any control over what i would say.#like nooooo everyone will somehow find out i am a lesbian but like weird and wrong with it. just by all having read a specific scene#i have to take a catholic approach. in centering myself i am being vain. no one can see no one caaaaares accidental telepathy isn't reallll#i am never beating the peer-reviewed ocd allegations. i just haven't talked about that shit much before because i thought. well. idk.#that it was like. just normal high femme camp neuroticism. and maybe it still is that. who knows.#last semester's killing yourself novels were hangsaman and fledgling btw
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