#i am literally a queer person and mlm ships will always be important but the way y'all will throw women under the bus to see ur bb boys kiss

[zmeydeva-arch]

people say misogyny has improved in the rpc and at large i would say sure but my god... the way some of y’all talk about your “best boy’s” canon female love interests just oozes hatred. you don’t keep that energy when the tables are turned and your male fave is actually the one acting up in the relationship. i think it’s totally fine to dislike a canon ship and choose to disregard it in your portrayal because you don’t think it serves the way you want to write your muse. although, when that choice is based on the fact that you are painting a woman as “abusive” when she maybe is, at best,  a little mean to the man in question you gotta step back and think about why you are interpreting her that way. also funny that two men can banter and you think that is cute and flirty but god forbid a woman get a bit quippy, now she is a villain! 

[leviismybby]

I am going to be honest. I think my love for Levi is dissipating which just makes me sad. There's just too much discourse going on around his character that just makes me feel like a split personality type of thing idk. On Twitter most canonize him as queer/subby. And some people here try to force more suffering onto him. Which I stick to canon and know there's no proof of it but when everyone keeps saying it it just kind of feels like an attempt to override canon. There's nothing wrong with headcanon but now people treat so much headcanon as canon, spreading misinfo and then people run with it. At some point I feel like is something even canon if so many people disregard it. I know technically it is canon but then to me personally I can't help but feel disturbed. I know I should stick to reading only canon materials but I have already read the manga and watched the anime. I would like to read extended materials from fans but doing it has only left me with a nagging feeling because there's so much weird but popular takes about his character. So much that people actually believe. I see it on Twitter and Tiktok, literally tens of thousands, even millions of people believe these takes. And now that Aot is over, they are going to have that takes as canon forever. The thought is just crazy to me. The Erwin x Levi(Eruri) tag on Tiktok has 1.1 billion views that are full of different takes. It's just outrageous

You shouldn't let them do that to you anon and I will be honest with you, I don't have twitter and I do not engage with the fandom on tiktok for more than one reason, shipping being a large one. Erwin and Levi are an mlm ship, mlm ships have always been more popular amongst fandom, funny thing is, even today, Eren x Levi is still the most popular ship which is nuts. What I do is I engage with the fandom on here and on YouTube, on YouTube mostly people who aren't really part of the fandom are on there so they see those characters for what they are. I can't change someone mind on how they see Levi, if they see him as some subby clingy uwu boy for Erwin or whoever, good for them, it just proved to me that the ship they follow is more important than Levi's character. Also, I doubt that, what I have been seeing since aot ended is people on tiktok and twitter actually calling these people out and telling them that Levi deserves better treatment from the fandom. They can't overrun canon Levi, they aren't the author nor are they that big, trust me. It may seem like Eruri is huge online but it's the minority. In real life aot fans mostly never engage in ships or ridiculous takes because canon is enough for them, most are shocked to learn that people ship Levi with Erwin or whoever. Shippers aren't as powerful as they seem, anon haha. I think the best for you would be to avoid toxic apps such as tiktok and twitter. YouTube would be my best recommendation, people on there are normal and you won't find shippers running all over the place.

[loldragoon-ffxiv]

I’ve gotten anon hate occasionally around this topic for the entire time I’ve been shipping Feldspar with Fennie and, usually, I just ignore it because I don’t like to give hate anons the satisfaction of my response. But it’s increased in prevalence now to the point where I feel the need to defend myself.

If ONE MORE person accuses me of fetishizing mlm relationships or being a “fujoshi” because of my gender and because of Feldspar’s relationship I am going to literally lose my shit. I have spent 3+ whole-ass years developing this character and his ship and for you to dismiss and minimize that as just fetishization really upsets me.

Even though it was probably a waste of my time, I decided to kind of explain why I made the decisions I did, and why I disagree with the accusation that there is anything fetishizing about Feldspar or his story. Hopefully, it might give someone other than a hate anon some interesting insight into Feldspar's character.

I have a whole (poorly organized) essay under the cut here but the general summary is this:

I did not create Feldspar with the intent, necessarily, of being in an mlm relationship, though he has always been a queer character. His relationship with Fennie was fully organic.

Feldspar’s queerness, and the very specific way he navigates it (through fiction), is largely based on my own.

I personally have a lot of problems with the yaoi/BL genre and have intentionally not perpetuated a lot of those problematic dynamics in my own writing.

Feldspar is more than his ship

The writing and content that I post might imply otherwise, but I did not originally conceptualize Feldspar as an RP character. My start in the FFXIV fandom was in fanfiction, and primarily in NPC/canon character fanfiction. I’ve always had something of a niche in kid-fic/multi-generation fic, including in other fandoms, and FFXIV was no different. I tend to look at characters in virtually anything and go “I wonder what kind of kids they’d have.” It’s a reflex.

Feldspar was kind of unique (and interesting to me) because he was my first attempt at tackling the concepts of nature vs nurture as an adopted character. Parts of Feldspar are pulled directly from his bio parents, like his appearance, his stubbornness (Zoisite), and his kindness (Haurchefant). Others are more a result of his upbringing, like being more shy and bookish, and his talents lying in cooking and gardening rather than combat. I’m not going to make an argument that sexuality is hereditary, but my decision to make Feldspar bisexual, originally, was largely based on Haurchefant and Zoisite’s sexualities.

And then I decided to have him raised in a remote hunting camp, far away from anywhere he’d see any kind of reflection of himself. A very important part of Feldspar’s character is that he’s spent most of his life feeling like an outsider: being adopted, having the Echo, being a Half-Elezen, his atypical skills and interests, and also his sexuality. Not to mention that I threw him into an unfamiliar timeline as well.

That’s why, when he met Fennie, they seemed to understand each other right away. Fennie was the first person that Feldspar met that he actually had things in common with. They were both bookish and interested in Arcanima. They were both Half-Elezen, they both had the Echo, their mothers were both WoLs (in their respective universes/timelines), they were both stuck in the past, and they were both queer characters. This isn’t to say they’re the same character, because they definitely are not. The ways they’re different are just as important to their dynamic as the ways they’re alike. They’ve also evolved as characters to better complement one another, but they really did just click as soon as they met. They were both good complements and foils, narratively. In some ways, Fennie was an example of what Feldspar Could Have Been™ in Feldspar’s eyes, considering he was still very resentful about his upbringing when they first met.

I hadn’t intended to ship Feldspar at all. Originally, I had Feldspar (and Ichelle) going back in time as the WoL and changed it so that my characters could fit in with @scholarlostintime’s characters, because at this point we’d already been writing fics together with a shared universe. But when we started RPing, it just worked out that the two of them had chemistry. Their relationship also largely developed without much intent on our part. We were originally planning on writing them as friends. Then they both went and caught feelings.

Feldspar’s queerness is based on my own

Feldspar grew up in a relatively conservative culture, and as a result, did not really see much queerness out in the open. When he was desperately trying to understand himself as a young, queer kid in the middle of nowhere, he did what a lot of people do and turned to books.

It’s sort of a meme/character quirk that Feldspar is really into romance novels, but that was an intentional decision on my part. Every character I write is to some extent a piece of myself, and this is one piece of me that I’ve never seen represented anywhere else.

As a young queer kid who grew up in the USian south, I also was constantly seeking out queer narratives everywhere I could find them. Because of my age and also my interests, this was mostly slash fiction. I voraciously consumed (and produced) anything remotely queer that I could get my hands on: mlm, wlw, poly, trans, you name it. I wanted to read things that capture what it feels like to be isolated, and not to relate to the people around you, but with happy endings where everyone is in love and living their best lives. I wanted to write happy-ever-afters because I never saw queer characters in any canon media that survived long enough to have a happy ending.

I would definitely not go so far as to say that Feldspar is a self-insert or that he resembles me much in any other way, and as a woman, my queer experiences are fundamentally different than they would be as a man. But part of the fun of being a writer is exercising my empathy to be able to identify with a character that’s not entirely based on myself. Otherwise, I’d only ever write memoirs.

Fennie and Feldspar are relatively wholesome, actually

One of the side effects of consuming a ton of queer fan content in my youth is that I have spent the better part of my life reading a lot of problematic stuff. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten a lot better about curating what I read, but there’s also a lot more content out there.

I didn’t really get into anime or manga until late college, and while I was somewhat aware of fujoshi culture, I didn’t really identify with it. Not that western slash fiction doesn’t have a lot of the same problems, but there are a few specific tropes in BL that have always put me off. Namely, the lack of consent, and the lack of ACTUAL queer representation.

This is probably going to get far more into Fennie and Feldspar’s sex lives than anyone has ever asked for, but Fennie was Feldspar’s first sexual partner. The fact that Fennie respected Feldspar’s boundaries early on in their relationship is a very large part of why they have so much trust now, and that trust is the foundation upon which their sex life is built. They have their raunchy moments, sure, but no one is ever having their boundaries crossed, or their autonomy violated. Reciprocity is a big part of their dynamic. They’re both, more than anything, concerned with each other’s pleasure.

Fennie and Feldspar are also openly queer characters and are unashamed of it. Neither of them sees the other as their “exception” or like their relationship is something they ought to be ashamed of or that they ought to hide. They mention each other to everyone they know. They are happily married with kids. They have careers that they love and they encourage each other in them. They have healthy relationships with their families and others.

In some ways, you’re right, anon. The boys are somewhat of a girlish wish-fulfillment fantasy of mine. My wish is that anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality, is capable of having a happy ending with their love and a bajillion kid OCs.

I’m not going to apologize for it.

[other-cullen-ficrecs]

MLM!Cullen Fic Rec List

Inspired by this post. Here is my fic rec list of some of my favorite fics with queer Cullen. Happy Pride :)  🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈

Cullen/Dorian

Only True in Fairy Tales by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary:  In which Dorian is a special forces operative, Bull is his partner, and Cullen is the guy they're sent to rescue. Hijinks ensue. // Words: 110150

Modern AU. Dragonflies_and_Katydids makes me read the weirdest stuff. But their work is always captivating. The more ridiculous set up the better outcome, I promise. This one is both ridiculous and absolutely perfect. And somehow one of the very few modern au fics in which Cullen's lyrium addiction is well transfered without making it literal.

Fashionably Late by tsurai

For the tumblr prompt: Cullen/Dorian Soulmates AU? <3 "Maker’s breath, this is absolutely the worst timing, he thinks distantly." // Words: 1038

This is but a tiny thing but I'm a sucker for a soulmate AU. Would I love it more if it was 150,000 words? Yes. But I'm just greedy.

COLD HANDS, WARM HEART by spicyshimmy, stonelions

Summary: Cullen and Dorian's friendship deepens. Cullen is a romantic. Dorian is literally cold. Cullen is no longer certain what he would consider surprising. Mages and Templars working in perfect cooperation, perhaps. Evil and corruption disappearing into the ground along with the blight, blood magic falling so far out of favor it ceased to be. A united Thedas: that would be a surprise. // Words: 25369

I think this is most recced Cullrian fic and for a good reason. Slow burn, drama, all the delights. 

Light In This Darken'd Time Breaks by RamonaDecember

Summary: Cullen wouldn't say he hates mages, not anymore, but he can't see himself ever trusting one again. Dorian is no exception. The mage is off-color, self-important, and all together too much for Cullen to deal with. So why is it that every time Cullen is at his lowest, Dorian seems to be the only person by his side? // Words: 121289

Slow burn with 121289 words, what more do you want?

Cullen/Bull

Jump In by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is almost terminally awkward, Bull and Dorian are literally brothers (because why not?), and Bull tries really hard to be good. Or: In which Dorian tries to set up his brother and his roommate, if he can avoid killing them for being so clueless. (You might get cavities from reading it. Don't say I didn't warn you.) // Words: 33700

What did I say about Dragonflies_and_Katydids and ridiculous premises? But if you're as delighted with awkward Cullen as am I - enjoy.

Dragons from Stars in an Empty Sky by Midna_Ronoa

Summary: The one in which Bull takes Cullen dragon-hunting. // Words: 10423

Fluff and smut and dragons!

Stuck on the Puzzle by thespectaclesofthor

Summary: Once, back in Kirkwall, Cullen had an arrangement with a member of the city guard that satisfied his needs. But time changed all things, and he despaired of ever finding a similar arrangement again - that was, until he met The Iron Bull. Problem being that Bull seemed to care far more about sorting out the nitty-gritty of such an arrangement than Cullen ever has. // Words: 235586

No fic rec lists that can involve Bullen canot do without Stuck on the Puzzle. If you haven't read it - please give it a try. As far as I'm concerned - the best fic in the fandom. And definately one of the best fics in general. <3

Cullen/Dorian/Bull

Exit Light by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots. // Words: 77427

This premise is actually very close to canon, compared to some other stories by the same author recced here. The angst? Delightful. The smut? Delicious. The exploration of issues? Delectable! Cheff kisses all around.

to burn cool and collected by toomanyhometowns

Summary: Dorian hums. "Here is the function of the spell: Upon invocationne, ye caster's spyryt shal sterte to ye form of whomsoever mofte recently achieved releafe by hys hande." He taps the page in punctuation and looks back up. "And then there's a lot of text about the vast joys we may experience together, et cetera, et cetera." // Words: 16121

Ok, this list shows more than anything that my main delight is issues and angst wrapped in with porn. Anyway - cracky premise (body swap!), and angsty, sexy outcome.

Hold by queeniegalore

Summary: Everyone knows Cullen doesn't trust magic. But he trusts Dorian and Bull, so maybe they can make this work. // Words: 6654

Issues? Trauma? Kink? I'm a one trick pony when it comes to recs.

Cullen/Cole

Okay now that we’ve gotten the obvious out, let’s enjoy the trully unexpected enjoyment.

Into The Light (Cole/Cullen Ficlets) by Sinister_Kid

Summary: A series of what I hope are tasteful Cole/Cullen fics that don't exploit or overly sexualize Cole's developing character. Based on a prompt I filled out of boredom in which I imagined the spirit actually hearing someone's pain like a physical noise in his ears that caused discomfort. Explores the option of making Cole more human, with my own original take on how that affects him as a character, and depicts Cole developing romantic feelings for the Commander as he discovers what it means to be human. // Words: 20454

I admit I don't often read Cole shippy fics but this one stays true to the info in the summary and it is careful and tasteful. Also Cullen learning to speak with Cole properly - <333

Cullen/Varric

Verse & Volley Triptych by boycoffin

Summary: POSSIBLE TITLES: This Shit Was Even Weirder: A Surprisingly Not-Doomed Romance In The Shadow of the Apocalypse The Commander and the Rogue already taken, Antivan maritime smut with an elf girl in it How The Hell I Ended Up With That Guy: A Tale for The People Who Keep Asking Me About It In Bars The Short and Curlies that's just terrible Love Among the tropey garbage A Tale of Two Names pretentious and unclear The Penman's Paramour Memoirs of a Moron (That He's Going to Regret Publishing and Will Never Hear The End Of for As Long As He Lives) // Words: 133354

One of the very few fics in which I can not only accept but love 1st person POV. Crack. Slow-burn. Pennames. Lovable OCs. DELICIOUS. Also a fic that made me start this blog, so love all around.

Cullen/Krem

Last but not least, my delightful fave (maybe, possibly, probably) and involving a shameless self-plug because it’s the month of pride.

Swordplay by orphan_account

Summary: The Bull's Chargers are undisciplined, untested, and unprofessional; but Cullen can't stop thinking about their lieutenant. // Words: 3910

I have a soft spot for whoever Krem being shipped with not knowing he's trans at first. But also oblivious, pining Cullen <3

If you have been starving, a creature of bone by missivesfromghosts

Summary: Cullen is content with where he is. He has a life and a purpose. He’s doing the Maker’s work and he’s cut the Chantry’s leash on him. He barely thinks about the fact that he’s trans anymore. The last person who knew he was born anything different, barring his sister Mia, died during the Blight. This works for him. That is, until he starts falling for Krem. // Words: 769

A tiny thing but I have a soft spot for the idea. Also what's better than a ship with trans character? A ship with two trans characters. Keep that in mind for further recs actually.

Sweet, Merciful Andraste by Tainaron

Summary: PWP. Honestly, Cullen should invest in walls and a ceiling that don't have holes if he's going to keep having such loud sex. Pure, unapologetic smut between trans men who love each other. // Words: 4187

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  What more do you want from me? Sometimes porn is just porn. Enjoy.

Champions of the Just by Tainaron

Summary: En route to Griffin Wing Keep before the battle of Adamant, Cullen falls prey to an injury that reveals a shameful secret about his trauma with magic. As Cullen struggles with his past, his duty to the Inquisition, and his love life, he becomes increasingly uncertain if he’s the target of an assassination attempt or just his own personal demons. // Words: 67885

Well, I also have some plottier and angstier fics in my rec disposal. This one actually explores the problems Krem and Cullen could encounter in their relationship and all within the canon plot line. Plus bonus points of Cullen actually interacting with other Chargers.

cabbage: a love story by psikeval

Summary: Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile. // Words: 18932

Creme de la creme of Krem/Cullen fics <3 Fluff, crack, porn <3 This delightful series has it all! 

[two-sides-samecoin]

holy shit dude, leave byler fans alone!! stop putting your "aggressive byler fan" stuff in the tag because we do not care. if you want to criticize constructively then that's okay, but, you're not doing that, you're just blatantly shitting on us and being rude in our tag. you are the one being aggressive here.

and i'm sorry to break it to you but having a same-sex couple in a show like stranger things actually would be groundbreaking and it's ignorant af to say otherwise. yes, obviously, other forms of media exist. LGBT people have always known this because we have to actively search for niche media in order to find representation.

a ship like byler being canon in a show as famous and mainstream as stranger things is something we never ever get and it would mean the world to us, especially because unlike 99% of mlm ships, the byler fandom is majority queer people. we're not the straight girls fetishizing the ship, we're actual gay and bi people who want to see people like us represented on-screen.

you being asexual doesn't give you the right to speak on all queer people, especially not gay or bisexual people...so maybe don't do it? keep your passive aggressiveness and rudeness to yourself.

Okay I see why I’m being annoying and aggressive but also I put the aggressive fans for a reason!!! Because I’m not including people who just vibe with it. Literally a lesbian character exists and y’all ignore her. Also I get that me saying my sexuality is annoying but I’m also kind of trying to make a point that people like me don’t get any rep. Legit someone saying that they were asexual in ‘sex education’ was an amazing thing for us. Which also ‘sex education’ is a huge hit in Netflix and it has black gay representation so there’s also that. But it was so big for asexual people because we don’t get anything. Meanwhile half the shows who do get queer representation only talk about people who are gay and the main popular ones. I didn’t even know asexuality was a word that I could use until like maybe 6 months ago. (I’m in college rn so I feel like that should tell you something). And I’m not being the voice for other queer rep. Saying that this ship is groundbreaking is making one big generalization of queer people. I have talked to my friends so many times (who are queer) who just don’t give a shit about byler at all. Because they don’t agree that it is good representation. So I do know from experience that some people don’t consider it groundbreaking. Also while this isn’t the topic people who are on the ace spectrum and other sexualities get shit compared to gay and bi and lesbian people. I legit have seen stories on tumblr saying how some people aren’t even welcomed in pride parades. And while that’s in real life and this is a show it’s still important because that’s how people get treated. It’s also common for people on the ace spectrum to actually define what it means to be ace instead of people just knowing. I really am a chill person but this is why saying byler is groundbreaking hurts me personally. Because people actually have gotten so much representation meanwhile others are left in the dust. It just hurts me seeing the fandom I love talk about this ship as if it’s some savior and worship it so hard that I feel alienated. That I feel like I’m somehow wrong for just wanting them to be friends and for friendship (which has been the main theme since season 1) to be the main theme. Instead I’m meet with ship wars and gross accusations that I’m somehow the enemy. Also I’m not trying to weaponize sexuality. Im just trying to be myself and be open about it because so many other people get to be open about their sexualities online so why can’t I? Why can’t I say that it hurts me that I barely get any rep? Why can’t I say that to me saying byler is revolutionary is doing more harm than good for my mental health?? Because seeing mike and will be friends to me is more groundbreaking than a ship. To me seeing two boys who are vulnerable with each other and love and care about each other because they are friends is something that I find more groundbreaking than a stupid fucking ship war.

[beetlemancy]

You know, one thing that pisses me off about the Liam "queerbait" crowd is that like... In C1 the problem was that the relationship was explicitly canon but not endgame. In C2 the problem is the relationship is endgame but not explicitly canon enough (in game anyway). What do these people think Liam and Matt aren't willing to do? Have a clearly canon mlm romance? Cause that happened last campaign. Have an endgame mlm romance? That happened this campaign. It just has to be everything or else it's not enough, who cares if the resolution makes sense for the characters, am I right? Who cares if both parties have always been extremely guarded and kept things vague and ambiguous? If they don't kiss at the end and start dating immediately then it was all for nothing. It's like all the romance and meaningful time spend together up until the very end, canon Shadowgast or not, means literally nothing to some people. If it isn't exactly the type of classic romance you want then it doesn't count? People just aren't as willing to be open to different kinds of relationships for queer people as they are for cishet ships and it makes me sad. It's more important for there to be a mlm relationship (to the exact measure you wanted) than for it to be natural and make sense. And somehow they're the same people who talk about rep points. Doing it for rep points, to me, would've applied more to sacrificing the characters' personalities and still ongoing development to be able to say "look, they kissed and are dating! We have a mlm romance on the show!" than what actually happened.

This is already a show full of rep everywhere, of all kinds, handled with care and respect. If it's not someone's kind of rep, fine. If you need flashier, more explicit, clearer, absolutely fine. But this isn't a show for general audiences that's airing on television. The cast don't have a moral responsibility to rep anything explicitly (or at all for that matter. They never even promised Shadowgast would happen, and if it hadn't that would've been well within their right), to normalize anything for the audience. This is a webseries for adults, played by people with their personal issues, interests and needs they're working through, through these very personal characters, that people decided to watch and I would expect them to be able to accept and respect the subtler representation even if it isn't what they personally needed or wanted. But alas, it seems some people can't do that.

Sorry to bring more disk horse to your askbox, you don't need to answer this if you don't want to of course. I just felt like venting cause Shadowgast is my otp since I laid my eyes on them and I never wanted them to get together right away at the end. And I knew that this would be the response when it inevitably happened that way, cause that's how these two characters have always been built, since their very first appearances.

Don't apologize, this is .. basically every Thought I've had as well, but written down more precisely than I can right now <3 I don't even have much more to add. Just,,, T H I S. So much this. And, I hope its okay that I did publish because so much of what you said is so on point!

Especially this: "This is a webseries for adults, played by people with their personal issues, interests and needs they're working through, through these very personal characters, that people decided to watch and I would expect them to be able to accept and respect the subtler representation even if it isn't what they personally needed or wanted"