#i am going to be a bit of a debbie downer about the carry over choices i'm sorry

[jzargo]

i always knew it was a longshot for my dreams of romanced fenris showing up to throttle solas if hawke was left in the fade but. damn. 😔 that really was a decision that was just thrown into inquisition for shock value huh. like there's no repercussions at all for that. good to know.

[sleepysnk]

i got horny and wrote this after some ideas you guys gave me!! thank you again to those who suggested it, i hope you all enjoy! ♡

All For Me

Pairings: Porco Galliard x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, unedited sorry for errors

A laugh escaped (Y/N)'s lips as Reiner told her another joke.

An annoyed sigh left Porco's mouth at the sight of her giggling and smiling at Reiner's jokes. He hated the way Reiner looked at her, all those sweet laughs should be all for him and only him. Porco was never one to show his jealousy, he always failed to admit it because he was just stubborn like that.

Reiner and (Y/N) had been close friends for awhile. She knew him since high school and Porco was introduced to her when she started hanging out with Reiner.

The two had been dating for about a year and a half, she fell in love with everything about Porco. He was perfect to her and she wouldn't trade anyone else to be with him.

(Y/N) had always been very reassuring, Porco had jealousy issues and he was afraid that someone might take her away from him. He was always scared she could do better. Of course he believed her, but Reiner could be a little too close for his liking. He knew the two were friends, but sometimes he felt like Reiner could swoop in anytime and take her.

Porco watched from afar as the scenario unfolded, the bar was pretty packed tonight and it was Reiner's idea to go out. Of course (Y/N) was all for the idea of going out.

He sat watching as Reiner and (Y/N) sat in the booth and talked. Porco swirled his drink around, the ice cubes clinking against the glass. There wasn't much he could do anyway, Reiner asked her to come sit there and Porco wasn't one to interrupt.

"Don't be such a debby downer Pock,"

His eyes averted towards Pieck who had a beer in her hand.

His yellow eyes rolled, annoyance clear on his face. "I'm not a debby downer... I just wanted to spend tonight with (Y/N)," he replied and took a sip of the drink.

Pieck sat down in the stool next to him. "I'm sure everything is fine. (Y/N) and Reiner are just friends! You have nothing to worry about," she said, patting his shoulder.

A scoff came from his mouth. "Some friends huh.." Porco replied, placing his glass onto the counter. "I gotta run to the bathroom, keep me updated." he added and stood up.

(Y/N) laughed again as Reiner told her another joke, he was always one for jokes.

"You're quite the jokester tonight," she said, smiling as she calmed down from laughing.

The blonde chuckled. "I am quite the jokester. Say uh.. I wanted to ask you about something if you don't mind," he said and placed his hand onto hers.

Her eyes grew wide as she looked around the bar for Porco. She didn't see him anywhere. Worry ran through her as she pondered on where he could be.

"Sure! What's up?" she asked and nodded her head.

Reiner squeezed her hand a bit. "I wanted to ask if Historia was single.. I know you two are close and I was wondering if you could set me up," he asked.

Relief ran through her veins. "Well.. I'm not exactly sure if she is. I can ask for you through," she replied, smiling.

He laughed a bit, smiling in the process. "Thank you really.. I just don't know how to approach her," he said.

(Y/N) nodded her head. "No worries! I can help you out," she said and giggled a bit. "We can do it together,"

"Hey."

(Y/N)'s head snapped back to see Porco standing behind her, his hand on her shoulder. He didn't seem too happy by the way he was staring down Reiner, his eyes seemed to notice his hands on hers.

"Hi babe! What's up?" she asked, smiling at him.

Porco looked down at her. "Can we get out of her baby? I kinda want to go home. My head hurts," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

She blinked a bit and looked towards Reiner. "Sorry to cut it short Reiner. Text me, okay?" she said, standing up and grabbing her purse.

The blonde sent a smile her way. "No worries"

She waved at Reiner before Porco took her hand into his, the grip was tight. He lead her outside the bar and towards the car, she felt the chill of the night air hitting her skin causing chills to go down her body.

She couldn't help but notice how Porco was in a rush to get back, he practically dragged her outside to the car which made her question what was going on.

Sitting in the car she felt Porco's hand slide onto her thigh, giving a small squeeze onto the flesh. He was driving kind of fast and she couldn't help but notice how his jaw was clenched, his eyes never leaving the road. His eyes flickered a few times towards her form.

"Did you have a good time?" she asked, trying to break the tension between them.

Porco cleared his throat before speaking. "Mhm.. I can see you did," he said and turned the wheel.

Her gaze panned over to the road, they were almost home. She wanted to just get out of the car and drop the tension.

-

Within a few minutes the two arrived back at the apartment they shared. (Y/N) fidgeted a bit as Porco unlocked the door to the apartment, pushing the door open so she could get inside.

Porco tossed the keys onto the kitchen counter. (Y/N) stared at him as she removed her shoes, he looked pissed. She tried recalling if she said or did something to piss him off, Porco could be a hot head sometimes and it bothered her when he acted this way.

"Porco.. what's wrong?" she asked, breaking the silence.

Silence.

He didn't even bother responding, his eyes averted towards her but no words were spoken.

She began to become frustrated. "Okay you know what? Give me the fucking silent treatment. I'm going to bed," she said and walked past him.

That's when she felt the grip of his hand around her arm, his hand squeezed the flesh of her arm tightly so she stopped in her tracks. A slight yelp escaping her throat.

Her body was now in front of his, Porco's eyes bored into hers.

"You know.. it really pissed me off when you sat with Reiner the whole night. You know how much it pissed me off?" he asked, his voice low next to her ear.

She swallowed thickly. "I-I'm sorry Porco.. he just wanted some help," she said and looked down at the ground.

He used his hand to tilt her chin to look at him. "Seeing Reiner touch you really pissed me off (Y/N).. you know how I feel about him," he replied.

"Porco.. please, Reiner is just a friend. I love you," she said and chewed her bottom lip.

Porco smirked. "I'm gonna have to show you who you belong to.." he said, moving his hands down to her hips giving them a small squeeze.

She felt the print from his cock against her belly. A small gasp escaped her lips as Porco lifted her up, her legs wrapped around his waist. He carried her to the bedroom and lied her down on the bed.

He hovered over her form, his lips pressed onto hers enveloping her into a rough yet passionate kiss. She slightly moaned into the kiss as Porco's tongue swiped over her bottom lip asking for permission, she opened her mouth a bit so his tongue could enter her mouth. The hot muscle explored her mouth.

Her hips moved upward to brush against his.

A chuckle escaped his throat. "Eager are we? Don't worry princess... I got you," he whispered, kissing her neck.

Her breath hitched as she felt his tongue against her neck, he slightly sucked at her sweet spot leaving a mark on her skin. A small whimper escaped her mouth feeling his kisses trail down her chest.

He pulled her dress down her legs, tossing it to another part of the room. Her skin was exposed to the cool air, goosebumps formed onto her skin making her shiver a bit.

He leaned down, kissing in between her breasts causing her nipples to harden. He used his hand to play with her bud as he continued kissing down her stomach.

"P-Porco.." she whimpered as she felt his lips against her skin.

The ache in his pants worsened as he heard her whimpers.

Porco smirked as he got to her panties, noticing the wet spot that formed darkening the material. He licked his lips hungrily at the sight. He opened her legs, hooking his fingers under the hem of her underwear and removing them within one swift motion.

Her body was growing hot feeling his touch, her skin tingled and electricity was running through her body.

Her pussy glistened in the light, making Porco's cock twitch. "Fuck.. your pussy is so wet. Is this my pussy baby? Who can make you this wet?" he asked, looking up at her.

She let out a shaky breath. "Y-You.. only you," she replied.

He kissed at her thighs. "Good." he said before leaning in and running his tongue along her folds.

A moan escaped her lips as she felt his hot tongue exploring her pussy. She bucked her hips into his mouth.

He held her hips down with his arm, forcing them onto the bed. His tongue flicked over her bead, causing whimpers and cries to escape her throat. He shoved one of his fingers into her core, knuckle deep in to feel her walls.

"Porco! Fuck!" she cried out in pleasure, throwing her head back.

The feeling of his tongue along her nerves made her mind cloud, her jaw was slack open as he continued pumping his fingers inside of her. Her walls fluttered around his fingers.

Porco shoved another digit into her, pumping at a quick pace. His fingers curled against her g-spot, making her vision go white and causing her back to arch off the bed. He pushed her back down and looked up at her with blown pupils.

"Keep your hips on the bed." he ordered, slowing the pace of his fingers.

Her fingers dug into the sheets as he continued working his fingers in and out of her pussy which was now dripping. He used this tongue to suck on her clit, squeezing the flesh of her thighs. He felt the hardening of his cock as he ate her out, begging to be freed.

The knot in her stomach began to tighten up as her orgasm slowly approached. Tingles danced along her body, her mind clouded from the pleasure.

"P-Porco..! I'm g-gonna cum.."

Those words made his eyes flicker upwards towards her face, he could see her eyes squeezing shut and her jaw slacking open with moans and whimpers escaping.

He hummed against her clit, causing vibrations to run along her folds. She suddenly reached her orgasm, her walls tightening around his fingers as her cream coated them. He removed his fingers which were coated with her arousal, he took a look at her pussy which was leaking cum.

He ran his tongue along her clit, lapping up the cum that leaked from her pussy. She cried out in pleasure at the overstimulation, her pussy throbbed with need as he continued to eat her out.

"I love the way you taste..." Porco said, leaning up a bit exposing his lips which were covered with her cum.

She swallowed thickly as he continued licking her folds. A layer of sweat began to form against her skin at how hot the room became.

Her hands found their way into his neatly combed hair, she dug her fingers into his scalp, a few strands becoming undone and flowing down towards his forehead. His hands hooked around her thighs as his head slightly moved around against her clit.

"Porco.. mm! Fuck..." she moaned, moving her hips upwards against him.

He used his thumb to circle her clit as he continued to lick along her dripping folds. Another orgasm began to approach, her moans becoming louder and the grip on his hair tightened.

"Fuck! Baby! I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna cum so fucking hard!"

Porco's tongue flicked against her bead, he squeezed the flesh of her thighs tightly which forced her hips down. Her legs became shaky and her eyes saw white feeling his tongue savoring her.

Tears pricked at her eyes as her orgasm took over her body.

"Oh fuck Porco!" she yelled, pulling strands of his hair.

Tears escaped her eyes feeling her high, electricity danced along her body from her stomach down towards her legs.

Porco sat up, his chin covered in her arousal. The wet spot in his pants showed as the fabric was darkened. Strands of his hair were now messy and undone. His eyes still blown with lust.

His belt unbuckled, pushing his pants off and removing his shirt. Her body shivered as he hovered over her, his eyes exploring her body.

He ran the tip of his cock against her slick folds, earning a moan from her lips.

"You want me inside of you..?" he asked and leaned his body down towards hers. Their chests against each other.

"Y-Yes.." she replied, moving her hips against his.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please."

He smirked, positioning himself at her entrance which was now dripping with arousal. He pushed himself inside of her, a groan escaped his throat as her walls hugged his cock. A moan slipped out of her mouth as he began to move his hips slowly into her.

"You're so fucking tight.." he groaned as he thrusted into her.

Her toes curled as his cock began to push into her, the tip of his cock brushing up against that spot inside her. Her vision going white as he hit against it with every thrust.

"Baby! Right there! Porco.." she cried, squeezing her eyes shut as he fucked into her.

Feeling her velvety walls around him made Porco go crazy, he clenched his jaw as he felt her tightening around him every so often. Groans escaped his mouth feeling the pleasure.

Her arms went around his neck, bringing his face down so he could engulf her into a hot kiss. She brought her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into her core.

"You like when I fuck you like this princess? You can be such a slut sometimes.." Porco said lowly in her ear. He slightly bit at her neck, causing moans to escape her mouth.

Her walls tightened a bit as the words escaped his mouth. She felt that familiar band in her stomach forming, her body feeling hot as his thrusts continued. Euphoria danced onto her skin.

"P-Porco.. I'm going to cum," she cried, throwing her head back.

His own orgasm was approaching, feeling his cock twitching inside of her and his thrusts becoming sloppy. His mind was going crazy.

He put his hand around her throat and leaned down towards her ear. "I'm gonna cum deep inside of you.. fuck, do you want that?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Y-Yes.. please!" she cried.

"What's my name..?"

"Daddy.."

"Who's the only one that can make you cum?"

"You daddy.."

A smirk formed onto his face. "Good girl," he said, thrusting quickly into her.

Her walls tightened around him as she creamed around his cock. Porco hit his own orgasm, a loud groan coming out of his mouth as his cum coated her walls.

The two breathed heavily for a moment as they recovered from their orgasms. Porco sat up, removing himself from her tired cunt and watching as a mix of his and her cum leaked out of her pussy. He smirked at the sight.

He lied down next to her, pulling her against his chest. "I love you.." he said, rubbing circles into her hips.

She kissed against his jaw. "I love you too.." she replied.

"Your love will always be all for me, right?" he asked and looked down at her.

She looked up and cupped his cheek. "Yes of course babe," she said, smiling at him.

He pulled her against his skin. "Good.." he said and lied his chin against her head.

[deadontheinsidebut]

Hi! Not sure if ur still continuing mha but could I get headcanons for when reader is always sad and it’s j a thing and she jokes abt it but bakugou is j super worried and sad when she is thank you!! Have a nice day/night!

—Bakugo worried about his sad s/o

Hi!! Yes I am going to continue writing for mha hehe☺️ ty for sending in this request I was struggling with it for a bit but I hope you like it!! Sending love xoxo

Genre: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF

Your self deprecating jokes were the usual but honestly, Bakugo was done with them

His usual snotty demeanor was now slightly softer as he turned to you laughing about how you were such an annoying person and that you were so sad about it

“Oi shitty woman, if you don’t stop with those damn lies I’m gonna come over there you idiot”

He’s so worried about you he can’t even insult you properly and you make your way over to him and ruffle his hair teasingly

“Stop being such a Debbie downer, Katsu! Lighten up!” You say, realizing that his hair was extremely soft for such a wild man

He grabs hold of your wrists and glares down at your dumb, grinning face

“Are you trying to make me mad or something? You’re the one that’s being a ‘downer’ not me,” Bakugo scolds

You can see his eyes shift to somewhat of a worried look but it quickly disappears as he drags you off to the kitchen

“Sit down and don’t move,” he demands as he lightly pushes you onto the chair

You’re patiently awaiting his return, hearing him rummage through your room for something before returning with your favourite furry blanket

The last thing you saw was his scowl before he glomps you with the blanket, ultimately turning you into a burrito

He starts to laugh at your pathetic state, bending over his stomach as you scream muffled profanities through the blanket

But what you don’t know is that he’s also making you a cup of tea to go with your sadness, something that always manages to calm him down

It’s not when he’s carried your burrito lookin ass to the couch that he reveals the warm tea to you and looks away annoyingly, leaving you to your own devices as he goes back to do his own thing

You’re sipping the tea and giggle, pulling the blanket up towards you chin as you thank the heavens for your dumb ass boyfriend

BNHA Taglist: (send ask/comment to be added)

@mrs-kuroojinguji @koushisun @luvkeigo @katsushimaa @stcrryskies @animatedarchives @hajibee @softieshoto @shoyosun @spicyness @sstardusty @kenmakodzu @avis-writeshq

[t-lostinworlds]

Subverting Expectations (Shawn Mendes)

A/N: Am I being extra with the title? Maybe haha. Anyhow, here’s a quick birthday blurb I wrote that may suck since I really wrote this in a few hours (yay me *gives self a cookie* aslkalska) Hope you enjoy!

AND HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO YOU SHAWN! ILY 

Summary: Shawn expected his birthday to not be as happy since you couldn’t make it, but it was his birthday, of course there was a surprise.

Warnings: Fluff and typos.

Word Count: 2.2k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

"Come on man, lighten up, it's your big day. I'm sure she has a good reason why she can't make it." Brian tried his hardest to comfort the birthday boy, but much to no avail, Shawn didn't even bother to move a muscle. He was all bundled up in his bed on the bus, a deep frown etched on his face as he stared blankly at the conversation shown on his phone.

They were on their way to New York at this hour to celebrate his 21st birthday, but Shawn couldn't find his excitement anymore as he re-read the two text messages his girlfriend of 2 years, sent him just last night and one this morning.

iMessage from Y/N: Hey bub, I am really really reallllyyy sorry to tell you this over text but I don't think I can make it to New York :(( Something came up with work and I can't say no unless I want to jeopardize my job. I feel soo awful right now but I will make it up to you in due time, I promise. I love you with all my heart my wonderful rockstar. Happy birthday. xx

iMessage from Y/N: Hey baby, my boss just said it's a no phone event so I won't have access with my phone the whole day. I really am so so sorry Shawn :// I will make it up angel I promise. I love you loads x

Shawn had been so thrilled for months on end leading up to this day, not only because he was turning into the big twenty-one but he was finally going to see her after months of being away. But now, even that plan has flunked and he wasn't sure when he was going to see her, if it was sooner or later.

The young man's hopes were definitely crushed with those simple text messages, and he doesn't even have the energy to get up anymore. Sure it may sound a bit too extra, but he just misses her so damn much and he was looking forward to celebrating this special day with the love of his life.

"Bro, don't make me drag your ass out of bed." Brian's voice echoed around the space again, followed by a loud thump as a pillow was thrown right at Shawn's face, making him drop his phone on the floor.

"Seriously dude?" The curly boy reached for the device with a groan as he shot his friend a death glare, to which Brian only shrugged. "We're almost there, get up or I'll be throwing something less soft than a pillow."

"Okay fine. Jeez, I didn't ask you to become my dad all of the sudden." Shawn grumbled, sitting up fully with a deep sigh as he ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she sends all her love to you dude. And she would want you to have as much as you can; it's your big day." Brian gave his friend a reassuring smile, trying his best not to say anything or else Y/N would definitely kill him for good this time.

"Yeah, I know. I just really wish she was here."

***

"Does he suspect anything?"

"Not a single clue. Idiot has been moping around the whole day." Connor chuckled as he helped you with your bag, loading it in the car as quick and as low key as you can, making sure both of you will go unnoticed.

Connor's alibi of buying more film not raising any suspicion in Shawn's mind, and you were thankful.

You couldn't help but feel bad a little though, knowing that he was probably so gutted when he found out you couldn't make it, or at least that's what you made him think.

What you told him wasn't entirely a lie, but you've managed to charm your way out of the situation, thankful that your boss was an understanding person. You owe that woman a lot.

Though the last text was totally made up, since you can't find the courage to lie to him more when he calls you, and knowing your man, you best believe he's going to blow up your phone.

Besides, he is turning 21 after all, a little surprise won't hurt.

"And none of you has managed to slip something up this time?" You raised an eyebrow at your companion, Connor scoffing in response as he placed a palm flat on his chest, feigning offense.

"Are you doubting our ability to keep secrets Y/N?" The young boy teased, to which you only roll your eyes. "Oh please, I haven't forgotten Amsterdam." You stated, still remembering how both him and Brian managed to slip that you weren't missing Shawn's first show after all.

"Touché."

"Come on, party starts in a few hours and I need to get ready." You laughed as you nudged Connor to get in the car, the boy nodding with a chuckle of his own as he slid in the backseat.

This was going to be a fun party.

***

You went straight to the back once you got to the venue, keeping your head down low as you met with Jake who stood just beside the cake that sat at the table.

"Hey there kiddo." The big man chuckled as he brought you in for a hug, you returning the gesture with a bright smile of your own, casting your eyes at the cake once the two of you pulled away.

"Is it heavy?" You asked, wondering if you would be able to carry it with ease without it toppling over. It was a cute cake to say the least – a simple three tiered cake with the colors of blue, pink and purple in swirls, sort of like a galaxy with the tour flowers littered everywhere along with musical notes, and of course, with a guitar right up top – and you definitely don't want it to end up on the floor.

Jake only gave you a knowing nod as he gave the cake a once over. "It's nothing you can't handle."

You flashed him a genuine and grateful smile. "Thank you so much Jake. Are we set?"

"Yup, you should hear Brian yell in just about a few minutes."

***

Meanwhile, Shawn was across the room from where you were hiding, constantly checking his phone to see if you had responded to any of his texts, also while trying to keep up with the conversation with his friends.

Shawn had a smile on his lips while he talked, going around and thanking each person for coming and for greeting him happy birthday, but that smile never did once reach his ears for the whole duration of the party.

He was being a Debbie Downer at his own birthday bash but he just can't help it. He hasn't spoken to you the whole day and he was worrying himself sick just thinking about where you are and if you were okay.

It was maybe the hundredth time he's checked his phone when Brian pulled it straight out of his hands.

"Dude what the fuck?" If looks could kill, Brian would've been straight up dead as Shawn glared at his friend, nowhere near pleased with what he did.

"Relax man and enjoy your party! You're being so grumpy right now and you're ruining the mood." The ginger boy joked, punching Shawn's arm playfully with a loud laugh.

Shawn sighed, a hand threading through his curls as he thought about how awful it might have looked, that he was mopping around when a lot of people went their way to celebrate his birthday with him. "Fine, I'm sorry. Just give me my phone back."

Brian did so as he handed the 21-year-old his phone, giving his arm a comforting squeeze as he said. "Just enjoy your night man and besides... It's cake time!" The boy yelled the last part at the top of his lungs, making sure that his voice was heard through the loud thumping music.

Everyone cheered at Brian's announcement, the DJ quick to transition the tune to the usual happy birthday song as the crowd sang along. "Happy birthday to you..."

People started to slowly make way for the cake at it slowly approaching the birthday boy, the crowd singing with bright smiles as the sparklers on the cake glowed high and bright, just enough to hide who was actually carrying it.

Shawn smiled, waving his finger in the air as if he was conducting an orchestra as he was relishing his moment, giving his friends and family thankful glances, heart filled with nothing but love and gratitude from them.

"Happy Birthday dear Shawwwn, happy birthday to you!"

A series of applause was heard soon after, Shawn laying his eyes back on the cake as the sparkler started to die down, but before it could fully go out, Jake came into view, taking the caking away from the holder's hand.

And when Shawn finally saw who it was, he felt his whole world halt, full stop.

"What? Did you really think I'd miss your big day?" You giggled, tilting your head to the side as you opened your arms wide. Shawn stood frozen in his spot for a split second, glancing at Brian who shoved two thumbs up in the air before casted his eyes back on you, a mixture of shock, and confusion followed by pure joy flashing on Shawn's face as his brain finally registered what's in front of him. And that was when he ran – like really ran – into your arms as he buried his face right on the crook of your neck.

“You’re so sneaky. I hate you but I love you.” The boy whispered against your skin, his voice soft and gentle but with a little hint of annoyance that you couldn’t help but giggle.

A chorus of Aww's filled the air as Shawn held onto you as tight as he can, scared that if he lets you go, you might disappear before his eyes. Your heart was melting at the seams as you rubbed his back comfortingly, the more so when you heard a soft sob escape his lips.

"Oh baby, are you crying?" You pulled away slightly with a pout, hands going to cup his face to get a better look at him and sure enough, your boy stared right back at you with glossy eyes, bottom lip quivering as he lets out tiny sniffles.

"I just miss you so much." He croaked, resting his forehead against yours as he grips at your waist, the look in his eyes enough to make your tear up a little, an adoring smile on your lips as you pulled him down for a sweet and loving kiss, both of you sighing in a combination of pure relief and content to finally be this close again.

The howls and cheers from the people around you made the two of you pull away with wide grins, a giggle heard from you as wiped away the tear the ran down his cheek with your thumb before your finger got lost in the mesh of his curls and oh how you've missed that feeling. "I miss you too Shawn, happy birthday bubba."

Shawn's never left your side after that. He was somewhat attached to your hip as the two of you went around to room to great new and old friends. Him introducing you to some people with that proud smile on his face and that made your heart grow ten times its normal size.

It was an hour later and a few drinks more when you can tell that he was close to being fully drunk as he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself anymore. Always leaving kisses on sensitive spots and trailing his hand too far down your back as you sat on his lap right on the couch.

"Can we go back to the hotel now please? I just wanna love on you." Shawn whispered in your ear, a pout on his lips as he looked up at you with those pleading eyes.

You couldn't help but giggle at your boy, shaking your head in the process as you boop his nose. "You can't ditch your own party you dork." Shawn shot you a wink, bottom lip now caught between his teeth as he chuckled deeply. "Watch me."

A hearty laugh filled the air as you  threw your head back, his offer sounding tempting but you can't just steal him from his own party now can you? "Okay how about I make you a deal: you be a good boy for the rest of the night, enjoy your party, have the greatest fun and in return, I'll be your good girl after hours."

Before Shawn could even get a word out, you dipped your head lower, placing a soft kiss just behind his ear as you whispered, "Plus, I have one more surprise for you later tonight too." You felt Shawn shudder a little under you, hopeful and now blown out eyes looking at you expectantly, a growl like chuckle rumbling in his chest.

"Oh really now? Then it's a done deal miss."

And throughout the rest of night, the birthday boy had the widest smile the world could have ever had the pleasure of seeing, so grateful to be surrounded by so much love and so happy to have you by his side to celebrate this special day that would for sure be a night to remember.

The more so when it was finally left to only you and him back at the hotel, alone and in love with all the time in the universe.

-:-:-:-:-

Like and Reblog if you enjoyed! x

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[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 18: Purple Moon

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

A/N: I’m unintentionally making this a PLL/Motley/The Dirt fanfic and I ain’t sorry Enjoy and thank you!

WARNINGS: Drugs, Language

TAGS: @madamsixx​

READ ON AO3 

PREVIOUS/NEXT

July 1984

 "Number 325" someone announces from the inside of the advising office. Sammi rested her head against a bulletin board with inspiring quotes for students and reminders of the new semester. She looked down at her ticket, seeing 334 in bold black letters that made her groan in her seat. "Number 326 for Mrs. Stogger," the speaker said in the lobby of the academic building. Sammi looked around at the people waiting to speak to someone just like her, a mix of ages in the hall. People brought books to read or sketchbooks to draw, or had their friends pass the time. Sammi only carried her notebook that was filled with tasks to do at Elektra. In terms of school, she was officially alone. She read over what she needed to get done by the end of the week. She also flipped through to see what she needed to finally have a degree in her hands. She interrupted her train of thought when Sammi heard someone elegantly sit on the wooden chair next to her. Sammi glanced up from her notebook for a moment to find a familiar face. A tall slim girl with long brunette hair read through her journal, writing down at a fast pace. Sammi looked over at her scholarly sense of style, appreciating it from afar like always. Sammi went back to keeping her eyes to the front of her, trying to keep her mind occupied. 

 "Oh hey, you're Samantha. The new secretary, right?" the girl said, making Sammi's eyes grow to her. She had a friendly smile to her, with soft dark eyes. Sammi smiled shyly at the girl, picking at her nails, and nodded. 

 "Yeah, it's Sammi outside in normal life. And You're one of the interns at work?" said Sammi politely. 

 "Of course, and yes, I'm Sabrina," said Sabrina, extending out a hand to Sammi, which she gladly accepted. "I didn't know you studied here. I thought you would've already graduated by now," 

 "I almost was but decided to be adventurous and travel earlier in the year. I'm kinda surprised also to see you here. I've never seen you around on campus before," said Sammi. 

 "Well that's because I just transferred from Sacramento, I really needed a change of scenery. I'm happy I have another familiar face to talk to while on campus," Sabrina said, putting her notebook in her messenger bag. 

 "Honestly, me too. I would see you around the office but never got a chance to talk" said Sammi, soon seeing a long dark haired tan girl who looked as tall as Sabrina walk towards them. She threw her bag to the floor and dropped herself onto the chair next to Sabrina, gaining her attention. The girl looked like a full athlete, with toned arms and legs from whatever they did. She tossed her hair over to one side, fixing her grey tank top. 

 "Hey S. Do you gotta wait long?" the tan girl said, peeking over Sabrina to see the small Samantha, knees tucked under her. "Oh sorry, I didn't see you there! I'm Emma," the girl extended her hand to Sammi, gaining a smile. She tilted her head for a moment, trying to remember the small girl.

 "Sammi. Um, have I seen you before?" Sammi asked, raising an eyebrow to Emma. 

 "Yeah we went to the same high school. You were on the volleyball team, right?" Emma asked, tying her shoelaces together. 

Sammi nodded, "Yeah I was, were you a grade below me?" 

 "Correct on that, I was also on the swim team. You're one of Tommy Lee's sisters, right?" asked Emma

 "Yep I am, now I'm getting that question asked a lot," Sammi chuckled along with the girls. 

 "I'm sure you do. Since it looks like you know Sabrina, do you wanna go get a bite to eat after this? Unless you have other plans to do," Emma asked, Sabrina, smiling at Sammi to try and get her to say yes. 

 "Totally!" Sammi said, in perfect timing for her number to be announced. 

October 26, 1984

 Sammi and Sabrina walked down the halls of Elektra records, passing the records and plaques hung up on the walls. Sabrina held eight hot coffees while Sammi scanned at the multiple folders that were in her hands. Both of the young women entered an empty conference room, a long, mahogany table in the middle of the room. They placed each coffee with a folder on the office chairs, even matching the assigned names. 

 "You don't have to stay for this meeting, do you?" Sabrina asked, throwing out the cardboard coffee trays into the trash.

 "No, Mr. Harrison had let me go early. Em's heading to your place at 7, right?" Sammi asked, fixing her blouse a bit from any wrinkles and pushing up her glass from slipping off.

 Sabrina nodded, adjusting her ponytail. "I don't know why she wants to go to this club so bad. She would not stop blabbing about it in class," 

 "Because you've never had a night on the strip yet even though you've lived here long enough," Sammi muttered, peeking down the hallway. Soon a team of suited men appeared marched in unison towards the young women. Mr. Harrison, a man who was taller than everybody with every inch of hair white as snow stepped in first, seeing Sammi and Sabrina. He scanned the office, nodding in approval and patting them on the shoulders. 

 "Thank you, girls, for the setup," Mr. Harrison said, rubbing his hands together. 

 "You're welcome, Mr. Harrison," Both girls said in unison. 

 "I would say you're free from being my shadow, Samantha. Have a good weekend for both of you," said Mr. Harrison, walking away to sit at the table's head. All eyes immediately went straight to him. Sabrina and Sammi smiled professionally at everyone, closing the door behind them on their way out. 

 "Okay well, maybe I'm busy with stuff of my own? You haven't thought about that?" Sabrina asked Sammi, throwing her hands in the hair as the two walked to the rest of the office. They walked past all the cubicles of co-workers, some they've never even talked to since working at Elektra. Sammi passed Sabrina's desk, grabbing the water bottle she left there by accident.

 "Studying doesn't really count if you're a walking encyclopedia, S," Sammi said, walking into the empty breakroom. She sat down by a big circular table, taking a sip of her water. Sabrina sat right next to her, grabbing an apple in the middle fruit basket.

"And what's wrong with wanting to study more?" Sabrina asked, sticking her nose in the air with pursed lips making Sammi give a tight-lipped smile to hold a giggle.

 "Nothing, but it's healthy to breathe fresh air. Even if that fresh air just has a bit of tobacco smoke in the mix," said Sammi, checking her freshly done red manicure. "Plus, we deserve a little fun. Midterms ended, and I already know I did great so I'll just reward myself," 

Sabrina shrugged with a growing smirk on her face taking a bite of her apple. "Are we gonna meet up with your people?" 

Sammi looked up to think for a moment, "Athena said yes. Tommy is in love with Emma, so yes. Vince will go anywhere I'm at. If Nikki isn't in a mood, he'll come. And Mick isn't feeling so good. I dropped off some food at his place before work," said Sammi, holding five fingers to Sabrina. 

"Awe Tommy is so dumb to think Emma would love him back like that," said Sabrina, pouting out her lip like a sad child. 

"You don't mind that we're gonna be with them, right?" implored Sammi. 

Sabrina raised an eyebrow, "No? They're all pretty cool, crazy beyond belief, but I still like them. Nikki seems like a tough nut to crack, though. And Emma seems to love everyone," 

"Awesome. I'm glad you and Em like everyone. For once I don't have to worry," 

"And you shouldn't. If I didn't like them, I probably would have only hung out with you at school or here. Plus, I like to see people go batshit crazy sometimes. It's like free front entertainment," Sabrina said with a smile. Sammi felt at ease with Sabrina's words, not worrying about the happiness and comfort of others on the Crue. "Oh, by the way, you're doing Em's hair," 

Sammi rolled her eyes, "At this point, she's gonna need to pay me to be her hairstylist," said Sammi, making Sabrina laugh.

* 

 In the cozy warm apartment that was reasonably close to their college, the three girls looked in their bathroom mirror to get ready for their night. Sammi sprayed the last bit of hairspray into Emma's loose curled hair, running her fingers through it to make it perfect. Sabrina wiped any extra nude lipstick from the corner of her mouth, feeling happy with her look. Emma leaned closer to the mirror, smudging a bit of black eyeshadow on her waterline to make her bronze eyes pop. Sammi pulled down a bit of her low cut blue velvet dress, checking her rear in the mirror. Emma tied a thin white scarf around her flare blue jeans that matched her pink top perfectly. "Where'd you get the bell bottoms, Em?" asked Sabrina, adding a necklace that matched her white dress. 

 "Found them at a garage sale! Pretty groovy even a decade later, right?" said Emma, walking out to put on her silver chunky heels in Sabrina's bedroom. Sammi smiled at Emma, spritzing some of Sabrina's perfume on her that smelled of crisp lilies from her nightstand.

 "Okay, you ladies ready for the night?" asked Sabrina, clapping her hands together as she walked into her bedroom. 

 "Someone seems finally happy to be going out," said Emma, bumping her hip against Sabrina with a smile. 

 "I don't want to be a Debbie Downer for most of everything. Besides Sam was right, we should have fun," said Sabrina, grabbing her perfume from Sammi's hands to spray some for herself. "Do you when Athena was gonna start heading over to Purple Moon?" asked Emma. 

 "No idea, but let's just wait and see when we get there!" said Sammi, swinging her black purse over her shoulder. 

* 

For being open for only two months, Purple Moon was the craziest club in all of West Hollywood. Let's Go Crazy blared throughout the two-story club with laser color lights jumping off the walls in the darkness. The three brunettes danced in the sea of people, bodies of strangers pressed up against each other. Sammi swayed to the beat of the music, feeling happiness around her already feeling the buzz of her drinks. As Emma looked out from the sea of people, her eyes grew with excitement when seeing three cool people. Athena, Nikki, and Tommy pushed their way to meet the girls. Nikki had a growing discomfort with this crowd, unlike Tommy loving the music. Athena turned Sammi around, engulfing her in a big hug with a smile on both faces. 

"This place is so cool!" shouted Athena, giving hugs to Emma & Sabrina as she danced around the sea. Tommy hanged his arm around Emma's neck, kissing her on the cheek while Emma shifted her gaze to the girls. Sammi couldn't help but look past Nikki in hopes of finding a shaggy-haired blonde with them. She hugged Nikki, tip-toeing to his ear. "Where's Vince?" Sammi shouted, scrunching her eyebrows together. 

"Your boyfriend didn't like the idea. Wanted to hang out with our friend Razzle," Nikki shouted, shrugging his shoulders. He eyed Sammi up and down, wrapping his hands around her waist. "You look beautiful. Didn't think a girl your size could feel up a dress like that," Nikki smirked, pulling Sammi into him. Sammi dropped her shoulders, slightly pushing away from Nikki. Athena grabbed Sammi's hand, twirling her around as the music changed to another upbeat song. Sammi glanced over to Nikki's discomfort, seeing him find his way to the crowded bar with Tommy behind him. Sammi tried her best to dance with the girls around her, but she couldn't remove the disappointed look on her face. 

"You okay?" Sabrina asked, leaning down to Sammi. 

Sammi shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah… Just wish Vince would've come," 

"Ignore it. Go get a drink and relax," Sabrina said, turning Sammi on her heels to the direction of the bar. Sammi smiled as she walked away from the dancing girls and passed the sweaty bodies. She squeezed between Nikki and Tommy on the bar, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. 

"Here Sam, have my drink and smile!" Tommy shouted, hanging his arm around Sammi's shoulders and slid her a random cocktail. Sammi smiled, taking a sip of the drink and wrenched at the taste of the alcohol. It was more potent and something that could get anyone drunk fast. It was precisely what Sammi needed for this night. As Tommy disappeared into the sea to find his new favorite girls, Nikki sipped his drink, eyeing Sammi with the color lights bouncing off her. 

"Really didn't think you'd let a guy ruin your night," Nikki whispered loudly into Sammi's ear, making her turn to his direction. Sammi sipped the random drink, thinking about Vince. "Wanna head upstairs? Fewer people to be annoyed by," Sammi looked over her shoulder, seeing all their friends enjoy their time together. Sammi thought they wouldn't miss her if she went away with Nikki. She nodded to the bassist getting a smirk and a hand to hold as he led them through the crowd. The second floor was designed mostly to be a balcony with some space to dance for overpacked nights. Even with a 'do not cross' sign up, Nikki and Sammi sneaked up the dark brick stairway. Dropping herself onto a small leather loveseat, Sammi laid her legs in Nikki's lap as she downed the rest of the strong drink. From the second floor, the music wasn't loud in comparison, seeing no speakers around them. Nikki rested one arm on the loveseat's head and the other playing with Sammi's heel strap. The two stared silently at each other for a moment until Sammi felt Nikki's hand rise up her leg. She tossed her legs off him, sitting up straight while lowering her dress a bit. 

"You're good, Nikki?" Sammi asked, feeling the buzz of alcohol go to her head and batting her eyes. 

"I am now that I'm with my best friend," Nikki slurred, draping an arm around Sammi and pulling her to his side. Sammi chuckled and rolled her eyes, dropping her head back. "What? You don't believe me?" Nikki asked. 

"Do you make out with all your best friends?" Sammi smirked at Nikki. Nikki scuffed at Sammi, taking the rest of his drink. "If I am then thanks," 

"My ass wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, unlike some people," Nikki said, raising his eyebrows for a moment. Sammi's smile went away from her face, looking out at the balcony in front of them. 

"Fucker should've told me he didn't want to come," Sammi mumbled under her breath, picking out her cigarettes from her purse. "He really just said he didn't like coming to a fucking club?" Sammi asked, lighting the tobacco stick. Nikki nodded, making Sammi roll her eyes and checking around to see no one catch them up there. 

"Yeah I think he was gonna show Razzle the Tropicana on Hollywood Boulevard. Apparently, that ain't got that in England," 

"So he wanted to go see half-naked girls basically 10 minutes away from me? That's fucking nice," Sammi spit out with annoyance, blowing smoke into the atmosphere

"But hey you like that so you gotta deal with the rockstars. A nice boyfriend," said Nikki, pulling out his stash from his back pocket. He poured a short chunky line in the back of his hand, snorting it like a healthy routine. Sammi looked over to Nikki, biting her lip for a moment as her eyes shifted to the drugs. Nikki could see the curious little face Sammi had one, making him smile mischievously. Nikki poured a bit more on his hand, not even needing to say a word for Sammi to understand. She closed one nostril and snorted the chunky line, feeling the string hit her. She hadn't done drugs since the beginning of the year, and her body was already feeling it. Her eyes began to water, making Sammi pinch the bridge of her nose to stop any tears. Nikki snorted some more before finally moving back into the loveseat. 

"And then he fucking asks why I still keep a distance!" Sammi shouted, flicking her bud into the dark corner. "Next time you all are on tour, you better keep an eye out for me on him!" Nikki chuckled at Sammi, slowly getting closer to her.  All of a sudden, Sammi jumped up onto her feet, almost losing balance as she pulled Nikki up from the sofa. Nikki felt immediate dizziness from the sudden movement, ultimately colliding against Sammi. He hung onto her waist, seeing her face so close yet so far away. Sammi slightly moved away from Nikki, trying her best to maintain distance. 

"Come on, let's go back dancing!" Sammi shouted, pulling Nikki by the hand as they stumbled down the stairs. Nikki tried his best to feel comfortable, happy the coke was making a bit of an effort in doing so. The crowd felt bigger to Nikki now, unsure if it was always like this while pushing past everyone. Sammi was oblivious to her surroundings, just trying her best to find their friends. Nikki let go of Sammi's hand for a moment, holding a tight grip onto her waist, trying his best to not lose her. Sammi didn't react, she felt great and happy, and being with people she loved made her more comfortable. Sabrina could finally see Sammi and Nikki again, making their group yell with excitement. Alcohol filled in their systems with possibly a mix of drugs could help any situation for this night.

* 

 "Why is food so much better when you're buzzed?" asked Emma, tossing a tater tot into the air and catching perfectly into her mouth. Athena, Sammi, and Tommy clapped alongside Emma as the six of them all sat together in a dark red restaurant. The Rainbow Bar and Grill, where girls offered blow jobs right as they saw Nikki and Tommy. Of course, they wanted to be one ounce respectful and turned the offer down just to have a bit to eat.  Sabrina rolled her eyes with amusement, sipping on her orange soda while Nikki chugged a small whiskey bottle. 

 "Because carbs love alcohol. It's a science I can't explain," said Athena, chewing on a chicken tender. 

 "We probably burned all the food we ate today from dancing, so eat up," said Sammi, glancing at Nikki right beside her. "You're not hungry?" 

 Nikki draped his arm around the young girl's shoulders, stealing a french fry from her plate. "I might be hungry for something else," Nikki winked, making Sammi only chuckle and stuff another french fry into his mouth. Sammi squinted her eyes to Nikki's other arm, trying to see the red mark in the dark. 

 "Hey did you go to the doctor or something? What's with the marks?" asked Sammi, almost grazing her finger before Nikki winced away from her.

  "Don't worry about it, Princess," said Nikki. 

 "Be careful, Sixx. Remember Sammi has a boyfriend now," said Tommy, flicking Nikki's ear with a dumb giggle. 

 "Yeah, who would rather see a mud wrestler with his other friends than me," said Sammi, feeding another fry to Nikki. 

 The girls around them all raised their eyebrows to Sammi, confused, and surprised by the thought of Vince's decision. Tommy shot a dagger look at Nikki, hitting his leg under the table as a form of communication. Nikki only shrugged his shoulders and took a bit of what was left on Sammi's plate. 

 "You mean that mud strip club up on boulevard?" asked Sabrina, pointing out towards the window in the direction of it. Sammi nodded as she took a sip of her cocktail. "Okay now, your sour face makes sense," 

 "Damn didn't think Vince would piss you off that fast," said Athena, turning her head as she felt a hand on her shoulder. As if by magic, Vince and a long-haired British man wearing a top hat stand right in front of the group's booth, holding drunken smiles. They both had drinks in their hands, almost already finished. Sammi pursed her lips at Vince, looking away to see Tommy quiet and glancing at everyone. 

 "Oh Vince! Razzle! How were the mud wrestlers?" shouted Nikki with a smile on his face, not bothering to move away from Sammi. Vince's smile soon disappeared as he looked at Sammi's scowling at him with a glare. 

 "Oh it was great! I never knew America could be like this!" said Razzle, his thick accent, making it hard for some to understand in their intoxicated states. He hung onto Vince, happy as a child in a candy shop. "Hey youse are some gorgeous women. What are you all's names? Especially this dark-haired beauty," said Razzle, kissing Emma's hand only to make her cringe. Sabrina and Sammi covered their mouths to hold in their laughs to Emma's discomfort. 

 "I'm Emma. This is Sabrina and the girlies over there are Athena and Sammi, Tommy's sisters," said Emma, yanking back her hand from Razzle's grip. Razzle raised an eyebrow to Emma, smirking down at her. 

 "How do you do, I'm Razzle. A nice gentleman from England who would adore any woman like yourself," said Razzle. 

 "Yeah well… no thanks. So Vince, how was your night?" asked Emma, tilting her head. 

 "Um it was good. Listen, Babe, can we go for a smoke outside?" asked Vince, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket. Sammi shared knowing glances between Emma and Sabrina, motioning them to let her out of the booth. Sammi gave an icy look to Vince, heading straight for the door. Nikki kept a smirk as his eyes followed Sammi, shrugging to Vince. As the two walked out, Razzle sat next to Emma as he tried to put on the charm. Athena and Tommy eyed the couple walk away, slowly growing with worry. 

"You know if you didn't want to hang out with me, you should've said something when I called you," said Sammi, crossing her arms as she faced Vince outside the busy sunset strip. 

"It's not that I didn't wanna hang out, Razzle came by my place all of a sudden, and I couldn't say no. Come on, Sammi, don't be mad at me," said Vince, wrapping his arms around Sammi's waist and leaving soft pecks on her cheek and neck. Sammi only pushed him away from her, clenching her jaw at Vince. "I didn't fucking do anything! You're really gonna be pissed I saw chicks?" 

"Yeah because your dumbass didn't fucking tell me! Nikki said you didn't want to come! Besides, I never liked seeing other girls before I got with your ass!" shouted Sammi, about to walk away from Vince until he got a hold on her arm. 

"Oh really, Nikki told you that? And you also don't think I could be mad at you for having Nikki's arm around you? You really think I like seeing that? You're gonna believe him?" shouted Vince, looking right into Sammi's eyes. 

"Tommy fucking hit Nik when he ratted you out, just fucking admit it," slurred Sammi, looking past Vince instead of giving eye contact. Right away, Vince was able to see Sammi's pupils bigger than usual, making her eyes almost black. "Are you high?" asked Vince. Sammi yanked her arm out of Vince's grip, almost stumbling onto the concrete. 

"So what if I am? Are you going to be more 'pissed' at me now," said Sammi, scowling at Vince. Vince scuffed at Sammi, shaking his head as he looked away from her. 

"Why do you keep doing coke?! Why do you keep listening to Nikki?!" hissed Vince, stepping right into Sammi's face. 

"Oh shut the fuck up about Nikki giving me some coke, it's getting old. You can't say shit if I want to get high. Because I'm pretty sure if we went a fucking drug clinic, you'd be way worse than me," slurred Sammi, trying once again to move away from Vince. 

"Oh don't give them that, Sammi. We're both two completely different people when it comes to that shit," said Vince, wrinkling his eyebrows together in a frown.  

"Oh really? Because last time I checked, I'm a rockstar's girlfriend who works at a record company," said Sammi, returning to her icy stare. "Just admit you're wrong for leaving me hanging for some big tit bimbos, and we can go back inside," 

"No, I'm not gonna fucking apologize. From the looks for it, you and Nikki seem to have gotten close like always tonight. Pretty sure if I asked A, she'd tell me," said Vince, matching Sammi's face. 

"You've got to shut up about Nikki and me every single time I'm around him. If you didn't want us without you, you would've fucking come!" said Sammi. 

"Fuck this, I'm out of here. Tell Nik and Tom they can take care of Raz, and call me when you're done being fucking stubborn," said Vince, shaking his head and beginning to head down the strip. 

"In that case might as well find a new girlfriend!" yelled Sammi at Vince, glancing around at some of the people staring right at her. She combed her fingers through her hair, marching back inside as the heels of her shoes clunked on the wooden floor. Walking closer to her table, she could see Emma had already moved away from Razzle and closer to Athena. Everyone reacted like foxes, turning their heads as soon as they saw Sammi come over. 

"Where's Vince?" asked Athena, scrunching her eyebrows together. 

"Gone. Stubborn ass didn't wanna say sorry," said Sammi, holding out her hand to Nikki to retrieve her purse. "I'm sorry guys, but I'm gonna head home, it's getting late anyway," 

"Wait, do you want us to come with you? We could crash at my place if you want, Sam," said Sabrina, looking up at her as she glanced over to Emma. 

"Only if you two want to, I don't want to ruin your guys' fun," said Sammi. 

"Trust us, Sam, you aren't. Do you wanna head with us, Athi?" asked Emma, smiling playfully to the other girl beside her. 

"Athi?" asked Tommy, frowning at the two girls. 

"Totally if Sammi's in a mood. Later boys. It was nice to meet you, Razzle," said Athena, sliding out of the rounded booth and waving toward the English man. 

"You boys have fun tonight, don't get too crazy without us," said Sammi, passing air kisses to all the men. 

"Goodbye loves, hope to all your pretty faces very soon," said Razzle, smiling happily at everyone. Sabrina chuckled along with Razzle, hooking her arm around Sammi's.

"Get home safe, ladies. Take some Advil, Princess," said Nikki, finishing his drink and motioning for another to the waitress. 

"We will," announced Sammi as all the girls headed to the strip, feeling the California breeze hit them right away. The four girls trailed down the street, Athena trying her best to haul a cab for them. Sammi suddenly felt the lows of her high go away, developing a headache with all the noise around her. She leaned on Sabrina for support, trying her best not to look suspicious to Athena. 

"What's it gonna be, my place or yours?" asked Sabrina, glancing at Sammi. 

"Mine. I have PJs to spare for you all," said Sammi, crawling into the small backseat of the cab.

"What did you tell Vince while you were arguing?" asked Athena to Sammi, looking over the two girls. 

"To find a new girlfriend because I'm not gonna say sorry for being around Nikki," mumbled Sammi, leaning her head on the window and shutting her eyes. Athena, Emma, and Sabrina all exchanged looks almost trying to read each other's minds. 

"Well, in that case, tomorrow morning should be fun,' said Emma. 

"Yeah, I doubt I'll see his ass tomorrow," mumbled Sammi.

One week later 

A knock on the door surprises Sammi, looking up from her pile of books on the small dining table. She checks the watch on her wrist, wondering if it could be Athena fresh out of work. The knocks got a bit stronger, finally made Sammi walk over and look through the peephole. She immediately rolled her eyes, swinging the door open with a hand on her hip. In the hallway stood a sheepish Vince, holding a dozen red roses. He didn't look right into Sammi's eyes, only extending his arm to pass on the flowers. 

"That's it? You're not gonna say anything?" asked Sammi, crossing her arms and scowling at her boyfriend. 

Vince scuffed, scratching his head before straightening up. "I'm sorry for going out and not telling you. And I'm also sorry for being a jealous little bitch," 

Sammi unexpectedly chuckled at Vince, calling himself a bitch, taking the roses out of his hand. "I'm sorry for being stubborn and telling you to find a new girlfriend. I hope this isn't your way of telling me you did." said Sammi, smiling carefully at Vince. He walked into the apartment, engulfing Sammi in a tight hug, happy to feel her accept it. 

"I don't think I'd call anyone my girlfriend if I fucked this up," said Vince, kissing Sammi with such love. "I know I can't get mad at you wanting to have a little fun like me or be around my friends. I just like to see you still be the same Sammi as I met," 

"Vince, I'm gonna be okay, but I do love that you care. It really does mean a lot. Besides, that was my first high since the beginning of the year, I'm not gonna go crazy," 

"And you're right, you're a grown adult who is way more responsible than most of the people my age I know combined. Also, my house is getting a little lonely without you," said Vince with an adoring smile. 

"Well that's what happens when you buy a mansion for one person that's also drastically far away from me," 

"So we're good? We can go out tonight and head over to mine?" asked Vince, wrinkling his eyebrows together in worry. Instead of a verbal answer, Sammi kissed Vince deeply, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

"Yeah we're good, dumbass…" muttered Sammi. 

[artificialqueens]

Beauty in the Sheets - Chapter 3 - (Branjie) - Thankyoumissvanjie

A/N: dun dun dun…. Y'all ain’t ready. Thank you all so much for the amazing response to this fic. It’s been crazy. I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter too!! <3 <3

Summary: “That all? You don’t got some secret wife somewhere, waiting dutifully at home for her beautiful blonde woman?” She was looking close to monitor Brooke’s reactions, trying to figure out if she was being lied to. 

“Nope. No wife.” Brooke looked Vanjie directly in the eye, not blinking, not twitching as she said it. 

“Honest?” She had to check one last time. And as Brooke gave a tiny nod, Vanjie could feel a small weight being lifted from her shoulders.

LINK TO AO3

“Why do you look so fucking smug this morning? You’ve only had a single cup of coffee and you already look ready to seize the day? You got some coke mixed into that, mama?” Katya was huddled in her chair, her sweater so big it almost functioned as a blanket. She was sniffing her extra-large “black-as-her-soul” cup of coffee, hoping that the damps created by the caffeine would make her wake up faster. 

“Me?” Brooke tried to feign innocence but could feel her mouth curl into a satisfied smirk. 

“Don’t go all mysterious girl on me. Honestly, what could make you such a ray of sunshine in the morning? You’re usually a pain in the ass before you’ve had at least four cigarettes. So what’s the T, hon?” The raised perfectly drawn eyebrow usually worked on Brooke. Katya having a secret power of drawing out the truth from everyone.

Just not today.

“Oh, nothing. I just had a really good night, slept like a baby,” Brooke seemed all loose, warming her hands on the warm cup as she smiled softly, her eyes closed as she took a deep breath. 

A plate was loudly placed on the table, making Brooke’s eyes snap open as Detox sat down next to Katya. 

Her neon hair and brows made her look like an alien when coupled with the fancy interior of the restaurant, but then again, Detox had a way of always looking out of this world in every setting.

“Why is Hytes smiling? It’s too early for the ice queen to be that sunny,” Her voice was dry as she wrinkled her nose at the small smile on Brooke’s face. 

“Jesus guys, I am not the horrible in the morning,” looking around at all her friends and colleagues, who all seemed to either shrug or look away from her. “Am I?” Brooked tried to catch the eye of just one of them.

“I mean, you’re not that-“ before Nina could soften the blow, Katya interrupted her from her sweater cocoon.

“Mama, morning, day or night, you are always prissy and uptight. But we love that about you. Our very own uptown socialite bitch,” Katya sent Brooke one of her blinding smiles as she took a big gulp of coffee. 

“Fuck you, guys. I am a delight,” Brooke muttered, making the whole table chuckle.

“Chiiiile, we love you, honey. But they ain’t calling you Ice Queen just for the fun of it,” Shuga’s voice was filled with mirth, as she shrugged at Brooke. 

“Guys, guys. B is actually smiling. It happens two times a year, so let’s just all enjoy it,” Nina could see the smile slowly falling from Brooke’s lips, her best friend’s moods always fickle and quick to change.

“Whatever you say, boss. So what’s the plan for today?” Katya’s eyes lit up at all the possibilities, as she was the only one who was feeling up for this tour. She never got to go to any fancy places like this, so she wanted to soak it all up, so she could tell Trixie all about it when she got home. 

“Uhm,” Nina swallowed her mouthful of yoghurt, looking at the tired yet anxious beauty queens in front of her. “Girls, shouldn’t we all wait until after breakfast where the whole group is gathered?” Almost in sync, all the occupants around the table lifted one brow, looking at Nina with unimpressed looks.

“Okay. I am SO excited because I’ve planned THE BEST day, for all of us. First, we’re going to the spa, to get that quality girls time - no Debbie downers allowed. Yes, I am looking at you, Brooke!” The excitement in her voice made it difficult for any of the surrounding women to keep a scowl on their face. The joy of Nina West an infectious commodity.

“Bitch!” The indignation in Brooke’s voice was ignored as Nina kept on speaking.

“I am talking, massages and bubble bath’s that smell more expensive than Dior’s perfume department. Then after lunch, we are going mini-golfing, which will be so dang cute, that we’ll ‘awh’ ourselves through every obstacle.“ and with a small smile, Nina took a sip of her green tea. Feeling quite proud of what she had planned.

She was met with silence, as they all looked impressed. Brooke was casually smiling into her coffee. Nina tried not to think too hard about why her best friend was in a good mood. She knew that she and Vanjie had probably slept together, her best friend always had a weakness for beautiful women.

But that talk would have to wait. 

“How the fuck did you convince Ru to pay for this?” Trust Chad, to be the one to go straight to the point. She had worked for Ru for almost a decade, so Chad knew that the shrewd bitch didn’t spend money on her employees unless you forced her to. 

“A lady never reveals her sources, but I can tell you that I had a great talk with Michelle a few months ago,” Nina’s shrug made all of them laugh, as they all knew that Michelle had a direct line to Ru, the woman often working as a liaison between the two parties.

“Honey, you’re a genius!” Shuga said almost in awe. 

“Why do you all think that I’m your boss?” Nina flicked her hair over her shoulder, giving them all a wink, making the table erupt once again in loud laughter and giggles. 

Catching Brooke’s eye, she mouthed a soft “thank you,” to her, as it had been her idea to go directly to Michelle. 

Brooke waved her off with a smile, taking a sip of coffee, as her eyes travelled over to one of the other tables. Without turning around Nina knew who was sitting there. 

Knew that she would most definitely see Vanessa with the same smile on her lips, like the one on her best friend. 

This would never end well.

Lips were softly kissing their way across Vanjie’s collarbone, her body drenched with sweat, making her feel sticky. She was still trying to catch her breath, having just come… again, at the mercy of Brooke’s ridiculously talented hands

“Brooke, girl. I need a moment,” Vanjie tried to push her head away, but it was more a pat on Brooke’s slightly tousled hair than anything, her body still loose and almost weak after the two orgasms. 

“But I’m comfortable here,” the words were mumbled against Vanjie’s skin, as Brooke kept on peppering her with small kisses all over her body. At the moment she was worshipping the dip in her clavicle, making Vanjie shiver with overstimulation. 

“Mama, give a girl a fucking break!” Vanjie laughed as she once again tried to push Brooke away.

With one final peck on her shoulder, she moved away from Vanjie, rolling onto her side, leaning her head on her arm, her eyes trailing all over Vanjie’s body. 

“Sure, let’s take a moment,” Vanjie looked into those blue eyes and felt herself get lost. There was something about Brooke. The way she carried herself, the way she was so unapologetic about herself and sex. It was refreshing. 

It was powerful.

It was so fucking hot. 

“Jesus mama,” Vanjie felt her heart rate slow, making her able to think a bit more clearly, “So, you gon’ tell me why you lying ‘bout yo name? I mean, Bella, really? What you think this is, some Twilight bullshit?” She raised her eyebrows, trying to make Brooke see that she couldn’t sex her way out of this. 

Though, if Vanjie was honest she probably could. 

“It’s simple. Anonymity.” Brooke said it all very calmly, shrugging one shoulder, trying to convey that it was really not that big a deal. “I mean, It’s hard being this hot if girls know your name.” 

It all seemed very practised, and it made Vanjie narrow her eyes in suspicion.

“That all? You don’t got some secret wife somewhere, waiting dutifully at home for her beautiful blonde woman?” She was looking close to monitor Brooke’s reactions, trying to figure out if she was being lied to. 

“Nope. No wife.” Brooke looked Vanjie directly in the eye, not blinking, not twitching as she said it. 

“Honest?” She had to check one last time. And as Brooke gave a tiny nod, Vanjie could feel a small weight being lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t know what the fuck they were doing, but she was not ready to give it up. 

Feeling brave and ready to give back to the woman, who had been very giving the last couple of hours she leaned closer. Her lips slowly trailed up Brooke’s arm, teeth softly biting here and there. 

“I thought you needed a moment?” Brooke tried to keep her voice steady, but her gasp at the end made Vanjie smile, feeling victorious, knowing that she had found a small crack in the otherwise impenetrable armour.

As she leaned closer, Brooke rolled over onto her back, Vanessa crawling on top of her, her hands caging her in, as their lips met. Nipping and teasing. Teeth clashing and biting. It was soft, it was rough. Brooke’s hands grabbed Vanjie’s ass, the rough touch making her moan in delight. 

“What do you want? Tell me,” The words were whispered against Brooke’s lips, that softly curled into a smile.

Then before Vanjie had the chance to say anything else, Brooke’s hand trailed to her hips, grabbing them tightly as she rolled them over. 

As Vanjie found herself on her back, she glanced into those bright eyes, her breath catching slightly as they held promises of a long night. 

“I want you,” and with those three words, she captured Vanessa’s lips in a searing kiss, that made her toes curl and her fists grab at the covers. 

Two tables over a different set of ladies from Bloomingdales were sitting, almost mirroring the blonde skincare possé. The cradling of coffee cups and huddling in oversized sweaters made them stand out against the other patrons, who all looked ready to go out on the golf course. 

Silky kept glancing over at Vanjie, who seemed to be in a daze. Her coffee cup stood untouched and, more alarming, was the fact that the plate holding a warm and fresh croissant also hadn’t been touched yet.

That never happened.

Silk guessed that this freak occurrence had a lot to do with a blonde and tall stranger sitting approximately 20 feet away from them. But she was a good friend, so she kept her mouth shut. 

“What’s up with Vanjie?” A’keria was staring curiously at her, trying to figure out why her friend looked so out of it, and more importantly, why she was so quiet.

“Fuck if I know.” Shrugging at Kiki, Silky decided to bring her friend back to this plane of existence.

“Yo, Vanjie!” She tried to find that perfect yell that would make Vanjie snap out her sex induced coma. 

No such luck.

“Vanj, girl?” A’keria snapped her fingers in front of Vanjie’s face, which seemed to do the trick as her brown eyes seemed to lose their fog. 

“Jesus, what? Can’t a hoe just sit and mind their own business for a mo?” Vanjie took a big sip of her coffee but almost spat it out again, “Holy mother of fucking saint Michael, that’s hot. My tongue!” the whole table started laughing, as Vanjie tried to somehow stifle the pain by patting her tongue. 

“‘Ness. Girl. What do fuck is you doing, hoe?” Silky laughed as she handed over her glass of water, “Like girl, how’s your head?” looking over her glasses, she stared at Vanjie gulping down the water, waiting for an answer. 

“Haven’t gotten any complaints, bitch!” The loud foghorn voice, smiling eyes and sassy snap told them all they needed to know. 

“Aaaaand she’s back. Jeez, girl, you can’t scare Aunt KiKi like that, she be getting war flashbacks of you going 2018 Christmas sale on her,” Silky was quick to duck, as Vanjie threw a napkin after her. 

“Bitch. You swore a motherfucking oath that you ain’t ever be mentioning that again! Y'all did, so don’t you think I don’t see all them chuckles. I remember and the receipts will be kept!” Vanjie pointed at all of them, Plastique and Ariel giggling, while A’keria just raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Dumbass hoes, all of yous,” she muttered into her coffee, trying hard not to look over at Brooke’s table. 

She still felt tingles all over her body after this morning. 

The transition from being asleep to waking was slow. Vanjie felt warm and comfortable. The duvet clearly having a higher thread count than the shitty IKEA polyester hell she kept at home. Her muscles were exquisitely sore, while her mind was still high on the night she had. 

A warm and soft hand trailed over her stomach, making her suck in a breath, as the touch sent tingling sensations down to her toes. 

“Morning,” the word was whispered against her ear, the small puff of air making her shiver. The hand on her stomach settled right above her pubic bone.

Not moving any further. 

“Hey,” She tried to turn around, wanting to see Brooke in the morning, wanting to have a clear picture of how her blonde hair would look tousled with sleep and sex.

Did she have those puffy morning eyes or was she blessed with perfect doe eyes 24/7?

The hand on her stomach kept her from moving. 

“You know what would take this morning from good to great?” Brooke’s morning voice was raspy and low, it made the tight knot of sensation in her lower stomach bloom.

“No?”

“Watching you come by my hand in the shower.” And with that, she jumped out of bed and walked over to the bathroom, her naked ass on full display. Brooke opened the door to the bathroom and walked right into the shower, turning on the water without a care in the world.  

She never closed the door, giving Vanjie front seats to the show, as she was lying frozen on the bed, seeing a blurred outline of Brooke naked body through the tinted shower glass.

Before Vanjie’s brain even had the chance to ponder the invite her feet were already carrying her across the floor towards the real-life Aphrodite that had somehow found her way to this particular hotel room. 

“What took you so long?” Brooke’s voice was teasing, her back faced Vanjie, as she lathered her body with lemony soap. The suds accentuated all her curves, Brooke having been gifted with the body most women would kill for. 

“You only came once last night.” It was something that Vanjie hadn’t thought of in the moment, but as the night progressed she realised that Brooke seemed to not really care about herself or her own pleasure, as she kept on showering Vanjie with tantalising touches and sensual kisses. 

“And?” Brooke’s voice hitched slightly, making Vanjie smile as she leaned closer to place soft kisses on her pale back. 

“Lemme do something ‘bout that, Mami,” the combination of the warm water and Brooke’s skin was heady. The zesty lemon scent seemed to surround them, Vanjie realising that the citrusy smell would end up being an aphrodisiac for her. 

Her hands went around to Brooke’s front, softly caressing her stomach, the muscles tight. Brooke tensed, as Vanjie’s hands touched raised skin, the bumpiness of it making her intrigued. 

A scar? How had she not noticed that before? Before she had time to say anything, Brooke turned around facing her. Her eyes held a determined glint, while the slightly upturned smirk gracing her lips would’ve made Natalie Dormer cry in envy. 

“Huh. I seem to remember saying, that the quality of my morning would increase by making you, not me, come, Vanessa?” and with that Brooke leaned down and captured her lips, slowly backing Vanjie up against the shower wall. 

Vanjie wanted to kiss Brooke forever. Her soft, plump lips were intoxicating as they covered her own. Everything seemed to disappear as the kiss deepened. Vanjie’s heartbeat and Brooke’s tongue the only two sensory inputs that her mind and body could handle.

The water from the shower did nothing to quench the fire burning in Vanjie’s body, as Brooke’s hands roamed all over her body. Pinching and caressing her breasts. 

As they parted to finally breathe, Vanjie quickly glanced down at the scar. It was large and pale - it seemed old, but before she found her voice to ask what had happened there, Brooke’s hand was distracting her, as it touched her inner thigh. 

Vanjie gulped, knowing how talented those fingers were; her whole body clenching in need of their tantalising touch. 

Brooke leaned her forehead against Vanjie’s the water cascading down over both of them, none of them caring that it got in their eyes and mouths. 

“Tell me you want it,” Brooke’s voice was like velvet, and Vanjie wanted to follow any and all commands made by the goddess in front of her.

“Please, I want it,” She didn’t care that she sounded needy. Vanjie didn’t care that this tall, secretive blonde could make her do anything.

She tried to capture Brooke’s lips in another searing kiss, but she leaned back. 

“Again,” Her voice was commanding, making her weak in the knees. 

“Fuck… I… Mami. Please.” She was like a drug, and Vanjie was not ready to give it up yet - if ever. 

Her fingers slowly crept closer, teasing her, making her moan desperately. 

“One more time.” This time the words were said directly against her lips, the soft touch sending a shiver running down the length of her spine. 

“Please, fuck me!” The words flew out of her. Vanjie didn’t care anymore. She just needed Brooke to touch her. 

Then. 

Finally. 

As Brooke’s long and slim fingers touched her centre, Vanjie felt her legs go weak. Brooke immediately placed a thigh between her legs, ensuring that she wouldn’t suddenly fall. The contact made Vanjie gasp, as her body was flooded with a warmth that ran from her toes to her fingertips.  

“You are so wet for me, Vanessa,” The way her name sounded on her lips made Vanjie groan, her head hitting the wall behind her, as she felt herself getting taken apart by Brooke’s skilful hands. 

It was the sweetest torture, as her fingers played her like a violin. Taking her from major to minor and hitting all her notes - even G. 

The intoxicating mix of the two fingers pumping in and out of her together with the thumb on her clit, made Vanjie climb towards a crescendo she didn’t even think was possible to hit. Her muscles tensing, body feeling hot, while her breathy moans seemed to reach a higher pitch. 

“That’s right. You’re so good.” Brooke whispered it against her lips, as she added a third finger. Vanjie almost screamed at the sensation. The stretch a delicate balance of being too much and just enough. 

“So close, please.” Vanjie couldn’t recognise her own voice. The desperate tone coupled with the breathiness made it softer than she ever thought was possible. 

“Please what?” Even with her eyes closed, she could hear the smirk in Brooke’s voice, and she would have glared at her if she had the strength. But at that moment it didn’t matter that Brooke was painfully aware of the power she had, all that mattered was that she stopped playing with Vanjie and gave her what she needed. 

“Please. Make me come,” The moment the words left her lips, Brooke’s thumb started to touch Vanjie’s clit in earnest. The pressure was just right, which coupled with the fingers setting roughly entering her, made Vanjie cry out, her whole body clenching as she came right then and there. 

“Ugh, I hate you,” Katya’s loud groan could be heard in all corners of the large spa facility, making all the other patrons turn to look at her, trying to decipher what was going on. 

“What have I done now?” Brooke walked out into the pool area, looking every bit the middle-class trophy wife fantasy in her white one-piece bathing suit. 

“That,” Katya motioned vaguely at Brooke’s body, her face a mixture of disgust and admiration. “Jeez, Barbie. Could you give the rest of us a chance?” Katya loved Brooke to pieces, but she envied her body. The way that Brooke carried herself as if she didn’t have a care in the world. 

It was admirable. 

It was sexy.

It was fucking annoying. 

“Sorry?” Brooke shrugged as she got in the water, her hair clipped on top of her head, to ensure that it wouldn’t get wet.

“Oh mama, I see that smirk, I know you fucking aren’t,” Katya did her flailing laugh that sounded more like a wheeze, almost falling on her ass, as the stones were slippery and not safe for a signature Katya guffaw. 

The area next to the pool slowly filled up with the Bloomingdale ladies, all in different varieties of swimwear that ranged from classic and modest to sexy and trendy. 

Only Nina and Silky noticed how Brooke and Vanjie’s eyes kept searching the other one out when they thought that the other one wasn’t looking. 

Though Vanjie didn’t even try to hide her stare, as Brooke emerged from the water. It was as if the whole room stopped for a second to admire the water softly dripping down her pale and perfect skin. 

Nina wasn’t affected by Brooke’s beauty, probably because she had seen in it from every angle since high school. She quickly clapped her hands to get the attention of her stunned employees. 

“Ladies. The time has come for you all to give yourself some well-earned tender-loving care. This is Mrs Kasha Davis, who will be taking care of all us the next couple of hours. Now before I let her take the floor, I just want you all to know that you will be spending time with someone that you don’t work a counter with nor have roomed with so far. I have the lists up here, so you can see who will be getting a spa treatment with whom. Now, Kasha, take it away,” 

“Nina is such a team mom, it’s a miracle that she hasn’t gotten her own football team of little monsters yet. Was she always like this?” Detox leaned against Brooke’s should, softly whispering as the very proper and motherly looking woman from the spa started talking.

“Oh yeah, you should have seen her at my we-weirdly big production of 30th birthday. Honestly, she had colour-coded lists and everything.” If Detox noticed Brooke’s stuttering, she didn’t call her on it. 

“… depending on which list you are on, you will either be getting a luxurious massage, a delightful facial or a beautiful manicure,”

“God. This woman is too happy for me,” Detox complained, still keeping her voice low, as a soft groan left her body. The idea of being in the proximity of such happiness almost too much for her. 

“D. Everyone is too happy for you,” Brooke giggled, though she stopped immediately the moment she saw the disapproving look, Nina was sending them. 

“Now ladies. Get ready for some pampering and self-care!” 

And with that the small woman clapped her hands in delight, once again drawing a groan from Detox, though this one was drowned out by the scampering of everyone trying to get to Nina and the lists. 

Brooke stood in the back and waited for either Shuga or Chad to arrive with a list. 

“B, honey, you are getting a manicure with Big Silk. Chile, she is going to keep you entertained, that’s for sure,” Shuga exclaimed as she looked over the list.

Brooke had a vague memory of someone named Silky over at the Mac counter. 

Fuck, she hoped that she didn’t know anything about her and Vanjie. 

“Bitch, if yo messy ass be saying anything to Brooke, I will make sure that ain’t ever seeing the sun again. I might be tiny, but I will kill you,” Vanjie was almost vibrating with anxiety over the thought of her best friend spending any alone time with Brooke. She tried hard to keep her tone low so no one heard what she was hissing at Silky. 

“Boo, would I ever do you that dirty?” Silky placed a hand on her chest, feigning shock. 

“You would, and you has, hoe. So don’t be playin’ all innocent with me!” Vanjie’s eyes narrowed, as she pointed a finger at her friend. 

“Miss Vanjie. I am offended and hurt that you be thinking about me like that,” Trust Silky, to turn on the charm, trying to appear harmless, though she tended to be the worst wing-man a lady could ever want. 

“Mary, I got three words for you. Tampa, 2016, Dana.” The stare that Silky received told her that Vanjie still hadn’t forgotten nor forgiven her for that night. A night that both of them had promised to never talk about. 

“Alright. Imma be a good girl and leave lil Miss Seven alone. You have fun with Miss Fame and that facial, boo.” Silky turned around and walked over to Brooke who was standing in the back, looking less than enthused about the whole ordeal, while Vanjie wanted to bite her nails at the thought of leaving those two women together for any length of time. 

This would not end well. 

“… Bitch, I was motherfucking ready to do so!” Silky’s loud voice was filled with mirth as she finished her story. Her hands were getting painted by a cute nail technician that tried to hide her smile at the story, as she applied a sparkling layer of purple polish to Silky newly filed nails. 

“And you said that?” Brooke’s voice was incredulous, as she looked over at her, her body fighting against the chuckles, as she needed to sit still, so the pale pink polish wouldn’t get all over her fingers. 

In comparison to Silky, her nails were kept short and rounded. 

“Honey, I swear on the lil baby Jesus, I was ready and then they wouldn’t even give me the motherfucking chance to do so!” It was clear that Silky wanted to talk with her hands, as she kept on fidgeting instead of being able to wave her arms around. 

“Holy shit, Silk.” 

And then they both broke down laughing. Both of them almost wheezing after air. Their cheeks hurting from having laughed almost constantly the last 30 minutes. Silky was a wild ride, and Brooke had no choice but to follow her lead. 

“Hoe, you ain’t too bad,” Silky said, catching Brooke’s eyes, though her face turned serious. 

“Is this the point where you give me the shovel talk?” She had been waiting for this moment ever since she realised that she would be spending alone time with Vanjie’s best friend. 

“Nah, Vanj a big girl, she can handle her own shit. Just… Be careful, Miss Brooke. Life ain’t been too kind on her, don’t be one more bitch on her long list of shady hoes!” The sombre tone made something hurt inside of Brooke because she knew that her name would in all likelihood end up on that list. 

Because she couldn’t give Vanjie anything more than what she already had.

It just wasn’t possible. 

“I promise you, I won’t,” the lie turned her mouth ashy. Brooke had always been a good liar, but this time she felt bad about it.

Interesting.

“Now bitch, look at them nails! Silky ‘bout to get herself a man with these!” and with that, the seriousness was gone and Brooke tried to follow along with the Ganache show, trying to kill the pit that was slowly growing in her stomach. 

“Honey, I feel reborn! That massage gave me back ten years. And Julio wasn’t bad to look at either, chile!” Shuga’s voice rang throughout the locker room, as all the ladies were getting ready for lunch. 

“Oh mama, that facial went deep. I feel like a real woman, now. Trixie’s not gonna know what hit her. How about you Miss Brooke Lynn, you got them nails did?” Katya went over to Brooke, who was applying her makeup, her glasses resting on the tip her nose as she concentrated on getting her mascara on without also poking out her eye. 

“Oh yeah. It was good, Kat. Silky was-” Brooke trailed off as her phone vibrated on the table in front of her, instantly diverting her attention from the conversation.

Steve will pick you up at 5 pm. Bill is turning 60 and he’s celebrating it at the Ritz. Remember, you must talk to Charlene and Diana tonight. Wear the purple gown (you know the one) with the gold underneath. Strappy heels, hair up, contacts and the diamond earrings I got you for our fifth anniversary. 

- P

Fuck. 

Brooke felt her heart rate pick up speed as her palms turned sweaty. She quickly opened up her calendar trying to figure out if she had overlooked something, knowing that it was improbable. 

31st of August, Saturday. 

Retreat with Bloomingdales

All Day

Nothing. 

Shit. 

“B, you okay?” Katya’s voice dragged her out of her spiralling thoughts, making her realise that not only was there a world outside of her panic but that she needed to quickly find somewhere quiet and empty, so she could figure out what she was going to do. 

“Oh yeah, just something I need to deal with. Uhm. Right. I’ll see you all at lunch.” And with that she quickly gathered all her stuff, dashing out of the room, leaving her friends behind perplexed at the fact that Brooke had gone out into the world, without ensuring that she looked perfect. 

Storming out, she looked for anywhere quiet, finally settling on an accessible toilet. Walking in and locking the door behind her, she quickly sent a text. Knowing what havoc it would cause. 

I’m not in town, so that won’t be possible - B

Less than ten seconds after she had fired off the message her phone started ringing, the caller ID showing that Patrick was calling her. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself down, knowing that panicking would do nothing good for the conversation she was about to have. 

“Hello, Patrick,” She kept her voice low and pleasant. 

“Brooke Lynn. Where the hell are you?” Even if he wasn’t in front of her, Brooke could imagine the way that he was pinching his nose. Trying to calm himself down so he wouldn’t yell at her. The slight vibrato in his voice betrayed him though. It was clear that he was losing his calm. 

Or he would.

“I’m in Albany,” She knew that the words would send him flying off the handle, the fact that she was that far away, would ruin all the plans he had carefully made for what would probably be a very important and strategic night for his overall campaign.

It was always a very important and strategic night for his campaign.

“ ALBANY? Why the fuck are you in Albany, it’s Bill’s birthday today, you know how fucking important this is?” She moved her phone a few inches away from her ear, as his anger made the decibels increase. 

“Well, I guess Scarlet forgot to put it in my calendar, so no, Patrick, I didn’t know,” She understood his anger. But it wasn’t her fault that his secretary had forgotten to keep Brooke updated. 

“Even if you didn’t know, you are supposed to fucking tell me, when you leave town. Every. God. Damn. Time.” The accusation was fair, though the fact that he overlooked Scarlet’s mistake made him roll her eyes. Of course, he would hold his hand over her.

“And YOU are supposed to always give me a 24-hours warning whenever there is an event, so really…” she was holding her phone so tightly, she feared that it might break in half. It had been weeks since they had last seen each other, summer always having fewer events of this type than fall. 

She hated when he treated her like a child that needed to be reprimanded. She wasn’t a child, she was his… Whatever you could call the ridiculous arrangement they had. 

“Jesus, Brooke Lynn. Fuck. Okay. I’ll send Steve. He’ll probably be there in two hours. You better be ready.” She hated the way he always insisted on calling her Brooke Lynn. He was the only one who did that. 

She hated how he had no regard for her feelings on the matter. 

“I promise,” her voice held little conviction. He always managed to make her feel small. All of her friends might see her as a bossy bitch, but they never saw her with him. How he just managed to strip away all her confidence and control. 

“I ask for so little,” His voice sounded so sincere as if he honestly believed the lie he was telling. 

“I know,” Brooke had to placate him, she knew that tonight was already going to be difficult, there was no need for her to make it even worse. Her legs turned to jelly, making her glide down against the door she was leaning against. 

Not caring that the floor was probably filled with bacteria and dirt. 

She leaned her head against the door. Feeling the panic settle deep in her stomach.

She felt sick.

“You better be the most perfect wife tonight,” The way he said it, all business, no warmth, created a lump in her throat. There was once a time when being his perfect wife had been the best thing in the world.

How the hell had it come to this?

“Aren’t I always, dear?” Her voice cracked a bit. His anger and coldness heavily implied that they would have a shouting match later, something that always left her feeling raw and useless.

Click. 

He hung-up.

Shit.

[thechillingadventuresoflili-blog]

Sorry, guys. This chapter is really long. Anyway, here is chapter twelve. Please show your love. As always, dedicated to @zeciex and @lovelykhaleesiii

Chapter Twelve Trip To The Past

Trying to get Michael to let her leave was like pulling a tooth. After she told him about what the witches were trying to learn about him, he fought with her about going and refused to tell her why he didn’t want her to go.

“Michael, it doesn’t matter. I want to know. I will tell you everything I learn.” Lilia told him as she zipped up the suitcase carrying the things she would need. “Why are you so scared?”

He sighed and looked at her. “Because that house is where my grandmother died. Because of me.”

Lilia looked at him and placed her hands on her hips. “You would think that I would have left you when you killed my father, but no. I’m still here.” She walked over to him and placed her hands on his cheeks. “I’m falling in love with you. Satan’s son and the humanity that I see in you.”

Michael smiled and sighed. “Please be careful. Some of the ghosts in that house are very dangerous.”

Lilia rolled her eyes and kissed his nose. “Ye of little faith. I should blow your eardrums out.”

He chuckled and shook his head, slipping a small piece of paper into the back pocket of her black skinny jeans. “Meet me here when you get back. I’ll tell them that I need open air now that I’m the Alpha.” He kissed her ear and walked out of her room, looking at her one more time before she left with Behold and Madison. “Please, don’t leave me when you get back.”

Lilia looked at him as she picked up her bags. “I love you, Michael Langdon. I’m not leaving you.”

Michael nodded and walked off to his room as she went down the stairs to the others, who of course were not ready yet..

She couldn’t help but feel weird about stepping into the dead’s territory. She had read up on the house before she discovered she was a witch and had walked by it a few times when her mom died. The house had drew her in and she associated that with the Banshee in her, but she was always scared to go in.

When they were all ready, they took the elevator up to the outside and where a limousine was waiting for them all.

“This is so unfair. Why don’t we have a car service?” Lilia looked at Behold and crossed her arms as they rode to Los Angeles.

“Because we aren’t rich like them, sweetie.” Behold told her as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“What is up with all of you and her?” Madison asked. “I mean, come on.”

“We all adopted her when John Henry found her in jail three years ago after her mother died.” Behold said. ���John Henry and her mother split up right before she was born because Ariel had asked him to become a teacher for the warlocks and her mother didn’t want to live with a group of men with no control of their powers.”

Lilia looked at Madison. “What about you? Why did Michael have to save you from Hell?”

“None of your business, bitch.” She growled at her.

“Aw, are we jealous that I get Michael?” Lilia smiled and leaned over to ruffle her hair. “Too bad, little girl. Keep it to yourself.”

Arriving in L.A meant that Behold and Madison had to go buy the house for the Coven and made Lilia wait in the car. During one of her trips to the outside world, she had bought Michael a phone and that’s who was talking to while the two pretending to be happy couple bought the house.

“I miss you, Michael. I miss my classroom. I miss my students.” She told him as she leaned back into the car seat.

“I know you do.” Michael chuckled. “Trust me. They miss you too. Baldwin has taken over your class.”

“Oh, god. Tell him I said not to adjust my chair. He can use his own.” Lilia laughed and bit her nail. “What am I walking into, Michael?”

“I don’t know, baby. I do know that most of them hate me. Especially my birth mother.” He sighed into the phone and she heard the creak of the chair in his room.

“Wait. Your birth mom?” She raised an eyebrow as she listened to him. “She’s dead and in that house?”

“Yeah. I have a birth mother. She died giving birth to me.” Lilia could hear the tears forming in his voice as Madison and Behold walked back towards the car.

“Hon, I got to go. I love you. Bye.” She didn’t even wait for him to say it back before she hung up. “So, we good?”

“Murder House is ours.” Behold shuddered as they drove to the house.

Driving up to the house, Lilia’s stomach clenched. This was not how she thought she would be meeting his mother. Especially if she hated Michael. She wondered what had happened in this house. When they arrived and stopped in front of the house, she tilted her head and smiled.

“This place is beautiful. I can see why it has so many deaths.” Lilia looked to the others and saw them looking at her like she was crazy. “What? I like old things.”

“Please. This place is a shithole.” Madison said as she got her bags.

Getting their luggage and walking up to the house, Lilia could feel her power weakening from how many dead were there. They reached the steps and she was already out of breathe, leaning on Behold as he tried to unlock the house magically.

“Oh, you’re that kind of house.” Behold said and Lilia laughed.

“Just use the key.” Madison whined as they waited for the door to be opened.

“Debbie Downer.” Lilia scoffed as they all walked in.

They weren’t expecting what they saw when they walked in. The house looked lived in. It was very different then the realtor said.

“I thought this place was abandoned.” Lilia asked them, placing her bags on the floor.

“That’s what the realtor said.” Behold looked around and tried to use his powers. “Huh. They’re off. That’s never happened.”

Lilia felt woozy and collapsed onto the couch, looking at them. “Mine are being drained. Stupid Banshee blood. This house is using my powers to fuel itself.”

“Where are all the ghosts?” Madison asked her. “I thought this place was jam packed with the dead.”

Lilia tilted her head at the stupidity of the question. “Ghosts can choose who they want to see them. They are just hiding right now.” She looked all around them. “Good thing Behold knows a spell to make them appear to us.”

Behold picked up his smaller case and walked upstairs with Madison in tow. “We’ll be back, Lilia. Stay strong.”

She nodded as they disappeared downstairs. Lilia closed her eyes and tried to reign her powers before she slept throughout this visit. She needed to know her own information so that way she wouldn’t be left in the dark while Michael and the idiot witches fought. She needed to be as strong as Michael. No, she needed to be as strong as Lilith.

Lilia felt the wave of power from upstairs roll through the entire house and she opened her eyes. Before her was an older woman dusting the fireplace and muttering about some woman named Constance.

“Hello?” Lilia stood up and felt stronger than before. Her speaking had caused the old woman to jump. “I’m Lilia Snow-Moore. You are?”

She could hear Behold and Madison walking into another part of the house, but she kept her eyes trained on the maid.

“M-My name is Moira.” She stuttered as she went back to dusting. “I’m sorry. I have to do this. I can’t handle another rant from Constance.”

“Who is Constance? Is she related to Michael Langdon?” Lilia walked over to the woman and looked at her. “Please, tell me.”

“She was his grandmother. She treated him oddly.” Moira looked at her, stopping her dusting. “She would praise him and hide away the evidence of his wrong-doings. Especially when he killed people.”

Lilia raised her eyebrows. “He was homicidal even then? Figures.”

Moira smiled at her and sat on the couch. “He aged overnight when he was about five. The very next day, she brought a priest here to get whatever evil was in him out. He killed the priest because the latin was hurting his ears. He may have looked about eighteen, but he was still just a five year old boy.”

As Moira told her the story, Lilia’s heart broke for her lover. She had no idea his pain was this bad. No wonder he didn’t want her here.

“She kicked him out after the priest thing and then killed herself. After that, I stopped paying attention to him. I was too busy doing stupid tasks for her.” With that, Moira walked out and went to Constance.

Lilia went to follow her when the old blonde woman walked into the living room to inspect the work of the maid.

“You’re Constance Langdon?” She asked her.

Constance looked at her with a smile and nodded. “Why, yes, I am. Who are you?”

Lilia’s blood boiled as she saw the resemblance in this woman to Michael. “I’m Lilia Snow-Moore. I came with Madison and Behold.”

“Ah. Another user of witchcraft.” Constance tsked as she turned to the fireplace, running her finger along the mantle.

Lilia rolled her eyes as she insulted the maid for what seemed like the millionth time and flinched when Constance threw the glass.

“Are you two ladies okay in here?” Behold called out and walked into the room.

“The old crone is having a temper tantrum over what Moira said to her.” Lilia scoffed and leaned against the wall.

“What do you want for the information about Michael Langdon?” Madison asked her, walking to the middle of the room. “Because we aren’t leaving until we get our answers.”

“Well, if you really do have witchcraft at your disposal, then why don’t you just abracadabra that goddamn bitch out of my afterlife, huh? Bless me with some peace and quiet.” Constance asked of them.

Lilia scoffed and muttered, “Like you deserve it, bitch.” She followed the other two to the backyard and looked at what used to be the gazebo. “The Harmons built a beautiful gazebo here when they lived here. It was torn down by the city after they died. I think Moira is here.”

“Then, you two can start digging.” Madison told them as she cocked her hips to the side and looked at them.

Lilia sighed and grabbed two shovels. They dug for what seemed like hours. She was tired and sweaty. She could feel her phone buzzing from texts from Michael. He was the only thing that kept her going. She knew that she needed the information that they had.

They had finally reached a lot of bodies when they finally stopped. Lilia had never seen a grave like this.

“Holy shit. How will we tell which one is hers?” She asked Madison, who reached out a hand for on of the skulls.

“Well, this one isn’t hers. The aura is way too wrong. Moira’s would be far too morose.” She then tossed the skull behind her.

“Have some respect. That was a person.” Lilia scolded as Behold handed Madison another skull.

“Why are we digging? I know a good spell that could easily bound Moira to the closet.” Behold told Lilia.

“No. This is the only way to get Constance to open up.” Madison said as she nodded. “This one is her. Get the rest of her.”

They gathered the bones of Moira O’Hara and brought them in through the backdoor. She was sitting on one of the barstools surrounding the kitchen island. She turned around and smiled sadly.

“Have you come to banish me?” She said so sadly.

Lilia walked up to her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “No. We have something that belong to you.”

Behold handed her the bag and watched as she broke down with tears in her eyes. “You have a choice, Moira. Where do you want to be buried?”

“There’s only one place I’ve ever wanted to be.” Moira told them with tears rolling down her face. “With my mother.”

“Go. I’ll stay here.” Lilia said to them as they left to bury the maid with her mother.

When they finally got back to the house, Lilia, Behold, and Madison were in front of Constance, looking at her as if she had lost her mind.

“We are kind of in a hurry.” Madison said to get her to talk.

“Well, where to start?” Constance told them what she knew about the boy.

Listening to the old woman’s side of things made her want to burn her soul and send her to Hell where she belongs. She could feel her blood boiling as Constance recounted the life of the beautiful man she had come to love with all of her being. Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks as the woman finished and walked away from them.

“Oh, my God.” Madison said as they walked up the stairs to find someone else to talk to. “What have we done?”

“You’ve let a man more powerful than Cordelia take over. Who cares if he is the Antichrist? You don’t know him.” Lilia defended him.

“He could destroy the world.” Behold said.”

“Are we even talking about the same man?” Lilia asked him, turning to him. “His grandmother tried to have a priest exorcise him and then kicked him out. He was still a baby. Just in a grown man’s body.”

“Lilia, you are too blinded by love to see what we see.” Madison told her, pushing past her to the room where Ben Harmon was masturbating and crying.

“Maybe Madison is right. We can handle it from here, Lilia. Go back to the school.” Behold patted her on the arm and walked past her.

More tears fell down her eyes as she thought of what might be being said about her lover in that room. She couldn’t take it anymore. Lilia walked away from them and from the school. They weren’t with Michael. Not really. They were just using him for his power.

She went back downstairs and picked up her bags. Pulling out the address of the house he was staying at, she concentrated on the address and transmuted to Michael Langdon, the Antichrist.

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Fate & Destiny: Life at Bobby’s

Pairing: Dean x Nell

Characters: Dean, Nell, Sam, Bobby, John, Nell’s grandparents.

Summary: Nell’s life back state side.

Warnings: angst, prying on private life, protective!Bobby, light humor, a little fluff.

Word Count: 1166

Fate & Destiny Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Nell hadn't seen Gabe since she yelled at him to leave a few weeks ago. He hadn't really crossed her mind for the fact that she was finally back where she belonged. She had a chance at reuniting with the Winchesters, which made her feel so much better.

Since arriving at Bobby’s she had done everything in her power to help him around, and earn her keep. She didn’t want to have him do everything while she sat around bored out of her mind. She would help Bobby take calls, she would help with research, and do a bunch of other things that Bobby needed help with.

“Nell, I’m running to the library to do some more research for John. I’ll be back soon.” Bobby said walking into her room.

“Do you want me to answer phones while you’re gone?” She offered looking up from her homework.

“If you want to. Just let them know I’ll get back to them once I get back. Just don’t answer the FBI line okay?”” He said to make sure he wasn’t making her put hunting before her school work.

“Okay. See you in a little bit.” She said before he shut the door.

Bobby felt bad leaving her alone. She had been through so much already, and he didn’t want to make her feel like he was mistreating her. He cared about this little girl, which is why he took her in because he wanted her to feel like she wasn’t alone in a world that had made her feel so alone.

It had been an hour since Bobby left and things had been kind of quiet, until Nell walked down to get a glass of water before she went back to studying. The phone for the house started ringing as she reached for the faucet.

She ran over and answered it not even thinking.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Nell?” a voice spoke on the other end.

“Hey John.” She became very timid very fast.

She hadn’t spoken to this man since before he left her and the boys in the motel room to go on a hunt. She hadn’t wanted to see him let alone talk to him since she read the message he left at her grandparents house.

“Is Bobby around?”

“He left about an hour ago to get some books from the library for you to get some more information.”

“Oh well, I already figured everything out. When he gets back will you let him know I’m bringing the boys over?”

“Yeah I can let him know.”

“Thanks. We’re a couple hours away still, so hopefully he’s home by then.”

“He should be. I actually think I hear him pulling up now,” she said looking out the window, “yeah he’s home. I’ll let him know.”

“Thanks Nell,” he said sincerely before hanging up.

Nell ran out to see if Bobby needed any help carrying books in and everything.

“Nell how’d everything go?”

“Well there was only one call and it was from John.”

Bobby was confused because she sounded happy that the call was from him. He didn’t want her to get hurt again because of him.

“Oh and did you say I would get back to him when I got back?”

“I was, but he said that he already solved it and took care of whatever he was hunting. Now he’s no his way with the boys.”

“Now that makes a lot more sense as to why you’re all perked up.”

“Why because Sam and Dean are coming over?”

“Yeah you haven’t seen Sam since you got arrested, and you haven’t seen Dean since they sent you off to Europe. If I were you, I’d be excited too.”

“Bobby, I am excited to see them because of that. I just hope that this means I get a second chance to patch things up with Dean. I didn’t handle the situation very well the last time…”

“Nell, stop blaming yourself for that. He was the one who should try and fix things with you. He was the one who ultimately chased you away. So don’t think for a second that you are the one to blame. He was all caught up in impressing some girl he barely knew rather than trying to keep the two of you together.”

Bobby was furious with Dean. Once John had brought Dean back for the first time, He confessed what really happened, and Bobby let him have it. He was so tired of seeing people being tossed from home to home, thinking that nobody cares about them. Bobby wanted Nell to know that his house was a place she could go to if she ever needed to get away from that feeling.

“Bobby I don’t blame him he had no clue what he was doing. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences. I should've never followed him to that convenience store in the first place. I wasn’t thinking right.”

“Still, he should’ve thought about how you felt before saying something that made you want to leave in the first place.”

After a couple hours of them talking things through and finally piecing things together, John and the boys finally showed up.

Bobby went open the door and immediately Nell wanted to run and hide. She had this feeling of terror that for whatever reason Dean hated her.

Dean walked into Bobby’s house no thinking. He threw his stuff down in the kitchen and walked to the living room. Sam ran upstairs to the room that they usually shared and found it occupied.

“Nelly you’re back!” Sam yelled as he ran up to give her a hug.

Nell was in tears she was so happy to see little Sammy again after what seemed like years. Dean didn’t believe that Sam was telling the truth. John had failed to mention that the girl was finally back.

“Sam stop playing around okay? Nell is gone and she is never coming back.” He yelled up to his brother from the living room.

“Oh come on don’t be such a Debbie Downer Dean.” Nell said walking down the stairs.

Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Her voice was the very thing he needed to hear in that moment. He immediately looked over to see if he was hearing things or if it was really her. Sure enough there stood the girl whose presence he had missed so much.

Now, normally Dean would never just run up and hug someone, but he ran up to her that day, and held her close. She was his best friend in the whole wide world, and he thought he had lost her forever. Now that she was standing in front of him, he never wanted to let go for fear she would disappear the moment he did.

They stayed up till the early morning hours that night catching up on everything they had missed. These were the best moments ever that year.

The moment two best friends were finally reunited. 

Fate & Destiny taglist:

@atc74 @bella-ca @ericaprice2008 @mirandaaustin93 @snffbeebee

[vickisventures]

“He who plants a tree, plants a hope.” – Lucy Larcom

Whew!  What a wild 2 weeks.  We left Arizona on a Sunday and got to Alamosa, CO on Monday.  I was, foolishly, hoping for a few days of rest after working so much at our last job; but I found out that we still had several things to work out and check out before we could plant our seedlings.  We spent the next 3 days making trips back and forth to Alamosa and to our land.  We found out that the community center in Forbes Park did NOT have their bathrooms open.  We weren’t too happy about that since those were the only restrooms within 10 miles, but 2 acres of nature were going to have to work!  Friday morning, we left early to drive to La Veta to pick up our 150 free seedlings.  We had a mix of trees but mostly Ponderosa Pines which I LOVE!  We were blessed by having Seth, a friend of Steve’s from his Bell Helicopter days, come to help us.  So, we met up with him and went to our land with our baby trees.  We worked all day with only a short lunch break.  Steve dug the hole, I planted the seedling, and Seth put up the tree guards (to protect against wildlife) and spread mulch.  Then Saturday, we repeated the process.  We were disappointed in how many we planted per day, but it took a lot more time than we’d thought. I think, in the 3 days, we had every type of weather imaginable.  Seth had to return to Amarillo on Sunday, so Steve and I finished the job by ourselves.  We finished planting around lunchtime and after lunch spent the next 4 hours watering.  Since we do not have water on our property, this wasn’t an easy process.  We filled up every plastic bin and bucket we had with water by the office.  Then we would carry buckets and gallon jugs around the property watering each and every seedling.  If the land was a bit flatter, it wouldn’t have been so tiring, but then it wouldn’t be the mountains either!  I think we went to bed every night by 8:30pm (after taking several Tylenol).  We were so glad to be finished.  We just hope that we have a lot of trees survive.  We know that we will lose some, but we are counting on God to help us out since we can’t go too often to water them.  While planting, I would try to pray over every few seedlings...praying our hard work would pay off.  We will probably go back and water them in 3 weeks.  Thankfully, it’s only about a 3-hour drive. 

We left Monday and drove to Durango to our next RV park job.  Upon arrival, we met the managers, Keith and Susan.   My first impression was that they were friendly.  They took us to 2 sites and told us we could choose.  They told us during the interview that they didn’t have workamper sections, but I’m not sure I agree with that.  Sure, we are all in 3 different sections (there are 15 of us-8 RVs) but all are by the highway...not the best of sites.  After we got parked we were talking and they told us that we would have until Friday off.  Somehow, we started talking about hours and I mentioned we were supposed to work the morning shift and Susan said, “We only need help with the afternoon shift.”  I know my face showed surprise and dismay.  I didn’t quite know what to say...we’d told Keith on the day we accepted the job that we wanted the morning shift and he said that shouldn’t be a problem, that there’s always some that want the morning and some that want the evening.  Well, he neglected to mention that they needed a lot more people working the evening shift than the morning.  Also, even though we told them months ago, it seems that since we were the last couple to arrive, we didn’t get a say in the schedule.  We went and spoke to Keith the next day and we could hardly get a word in edgewise.  Then he kept telling us stories about how people preferred the evenings because it was super busy and most people ended up wanting to switch to evenings.  I was pretty upset for a few days but finally decided to let it go and leave it to God.  So far we have been in training and have worked the morning shift (8am-1pm) but later this week we are working 1-6pm.  We close at 6pm for now but starting Memorial weekend, we will stay open until 8pm.  

I have had a really hard time trying to be positive.  I am having trouble finding things I like about this park.  I think we were very spoiled last summer...we just had a fantastic experience and it’s hard to beat that.  This park is not surrounded by mountains or Ponderosa Pines.  We have highway noise 24/7.  The lower part of the park has a parking lot feel because it is new.  They are planning to put in trees this summer but for now it’s dry and dusty.  Our site is not as bad.  We do have some smaller trees around and one day, we’ll have water that will run beside our site.  It is water that is used for irrigation and is controlled by the city.  They will open it up in about a month.  I am hoping that will help us feel like we are in the mountains.  There are some mountain views in the park but not really where we are parked.  I’m sort of disappointed in Durango, I was thinking it would be more mountainous and prettier. (It’s been years since I was here.)  We did go hiking today and it was pretty on parts of the hike but with very little shade.  We will find better hikes, I’m sure.  

The office work is pretty standard.  They use a different system than I’ve used before and it has some pros and cons as all of these systems seem to.  I am figuring it out with the help of some cheat sheets I have created.  Learning the rules and ins and outs of the park is also something that takes time since every park/manager is different.  I had really hoped they would decide to keep us on days, but I was told that another girl needed to be kept on the morning shift so the manager “could keep an eye on her.”  Supposedly, she’s been making some careless mistakes.  So, what I’m hearing is-IF I am screwing up and making inaccurate statements to guests, then I might be put to work in the mornings. Hmm.  I have had a few deja vu moments where I felt like I was back working for Janet—those awful days at Meridian…because the manager tends to talk about other workers mistakes to other workampers.  Steve had a moment too where he was told to do something and then another workamper told him that Keith wasn’t too happy with how Steve had done the job.  The problem wasn’t Steve. The problem was that Keith neglected to be specific about how he wanted it done and somehow expected Steve to read his mind.  Steve is hoping that was just a one-time thing. If not, I guess they will have to have a talk!

I will hopefully have a happier, more positive blog the next time.  I really didn’t want to sound like Debbie Downer but it’s just nothing to brag about yet. Hopefully, we’ll settle in and things will be easier and more fun.  But buckle up for a long ride just in case!

[emkish]

2019

I haven’t written in a long time. To be really honest, this year was not great. I’ve been emotionally all over the place since March. Did I mention that it is December? 

January-February - we pretty much spent all months working on the house. No sink, no stove, no kitchen, no lives. For Valentine’s Day, we cleaned the construction area and ordered Marco’s pizza. So romantic. 

March may have been the worst month of my life. I still can’t think about March without losing it. I’ve never experienced the pain of losing a loved one, not to mention watching a swift decline over the course of 3 weeks knowing there was nothing I could do to help him. My family feels broken and nothing will ever be the same. I get choked up anytime we sing a song in church that mentions dying, I keep imagining the rest of my family dying, and I still cry multiple times a week. I have to read until I fall asleep every night, or I can’t sleep because I just keep thinking about those last few weeks and the final day in the rehab center. I’m so thankful that the last words I ever said to my grandpa were “I love you.” In his raspy voice, he said “I love you too, sweetheart.” And that was it. Less than 2 days later, he was gone. 

Joyful Elainna comes out when other people are around, but I’ve not felt joyful inside since he died. How can I? Something is wrong and missing and it’s only going to get worse. My grandma is going to die someday. My parents are going to die someday. I don’t think I can handle the pain of watching my family die. Once was more than enough. 

I feel like I should be better by now. I am a little better than I was, but I’m not sure that I’ll ever be fully okay again. I can sometimes think of a memory and smile. But, there are WAY more tears than smiles. I still don’t know how to fully process through my grief, and have used a variety of strategies to push it aside. TV, reading, podcasts, etc. Songs at church don’t make me feel joyful anymore - they just make me feel sad. How can I shout for joy when I feel so awful on the inside? I still don’t know how to process through my grief or how to make it go away. 

Taking care of my grandma has also been a little bit exhausting. I love her and am happy to spend time with her. It’s just sometimes hard and emotional. 

I don’t remember much about April. Ben and I went to NYC after Aly’s wedding. 

May - we celebrated our anniversary, and I took an impromptu trip to Florida over Memorial Day weekend with Lauren and a few of her friends. 

June, July - I sat by the pool and read. A LOT. It was so refreshing to not have soccer, to not have to tutor, and to actually spend a summer relaxing. It was also good to get out of the house and not do house work. A much needed break. 

August - 1st year teaching a K/1 class. I miss Megan so much. Teaching is so much less fun without her. She was my work buddy, and now she’s gone. I honestly don’t want to have kids, but only about two years until I am done teaching. Once I quit, I don’t ever think I will go back. Megan moving buildings gives me even less incentive to stay. I like my team (most days), but I’m just kind of over it. I like the kids. I hate the paperwork. I don’t like raising other peoples’ kids and needy parents. I don’t like all the extra crap that I spend hours of my life doing. I love my kindergarten kids. I am hopeful that I will get to keep most of them next year. 

September - a blur. 

October - started working on the downstairs bathroom again and painting more things. Got the house together a little more. 

November - house work, TV watching, decorated for Christmas. Thanksgiving celebrations, and able to run most of the Drumstick Dash, which after last year I was not sure I was going to be able to do. I was sick a lot during October and November.

December - WInterlights, Festival of Trees, Christmas preparations, more painting and house work, etc. 

I hate being such a Debbie downer about this year. It was just really hard. There were lots of good moments squeezed in with the hard, it’s just hard for me to highlight those when the hard was overwhelming. 

Hoping 2020 will bring healing and joy.

Songs that carried me through this year:

Yes I Will

Reckless Love

Isn’t He

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: Preseason GM 2 - CBJ - Sabres Avengers

So last night was fun. How about we do that again but this time without the most fun players from that game? Okay, that’s a little mean. For real though, if Rasmus Ristolainen isn’t on last night’s roster but also isn’t on tonight’s roster I am kinda confused about what kinda look he’s getting at Training Camp. Ralph Krueger did want any professional does when they get hired to a new job: work with the situation at hand whether he created it or not. The Charging Buffalo Podcast posited a very interesting alternative reality to this trade we all feel is imminent where Risto has a comeback year and learns how to hold possession and play the defensive side of the game. While I think that possibility is even slimmer now that this first week of Training Camp has gone this way, I still wouldn’t mind seeing him stick around… assuming the jury has their verdict on him before the Trade Deadline. Unless there is some breaking news on this front before the Toronto games this weekend I hope this is the last time I need to talk about this. Even if we do get this long awaited Risto trade look to @716sportspost. They’re a great follow if you like any Buffalo Sports so if and when the trade happens you can read my “Farewell Rasmus” there first. But enough speculation and self-promotion, let’s talk about the game in all its lethargic beauty!

The goalie tandem was Linus Ullmark and Andrew Hammond. Seeing Hammond on a Sabres roster was a fun reminder that time is a flat circle. Ullmark on the other hand I had an eagle eye on. Even after all the goals against this game I still think he’s the future starter. I am super bullish on my favorite Swedish goaltender and if he’s going to instill any confidence in fans who have less faith in him then me, which is most every other fan, then he’ll need to show consistency this season. The defense pairings were a bunch of likely AHLers or waiver candidates plus Brandon Montour and Jake McCabe. Will Borgen, the guy who would definitely be on the opening Night roster in a world without two Rasmus and a Jokiharju, had a lot to gun for tonight. He just didn’t pull the trigger. The forward ranks were feast or famine with Casey Mittelstadt centering a line of C.J. Smith and Sam Reinhart. That’s the feast, here comes the famine: Vlad Sobotka centered a line of Kyle Okposo and Matej Pekar. *Debbie Downer music* WAH WAH. Olofsson, Asplund and Ruotsalainen were the noteworthy guys of the bottom six but let me tell you, nothing was truly notable about this game. I guess Columbus iced a lineup rifer with NHL starters but most of the regular names on that team sound like nobodies anyway. This game was so boring I wish I had recorded it and put it on later in the night to help me get to sleep.

I joked about Vlad Sobotka showing off this rumored revival of skill, but he stuck to his brand and disappeared only to resurface like the Shark in the Meg to destroy a good play and thicken the plot. Kyle Okposo was so bad it triggered Sabres twitter. Again, we’re really just going to have to ride that one out folks. The best option on that front is hoping Seattle takes them in their expansion draft but them feel like long odds if you ask me. How about some good stuff: Montour looked good but if he didn’t that’d be a problem. Arttu Ruotsalainen looked smooth which was refreshing for this game. Jake McCabe deserves a mention if only for him scoring the only Sabres goal of this game. Just like this whole game it was a goal hardly worth mentioning. The score line ended up being 4-1 for the Blue Jackets. Perhaps the stuff we can take from this game is how it advances the plot of this preseason. @theboonarmies, Sabres Twitter’s only Australian as far as I can tell, called it the three acts in any good film: Ralph Krueger’s three phases of Training Camp.

In morning skate comments Krueger laid out three time-based phases for the evaluation of talent and what not for this Training Camp. I called this the MCU of Sabres Training Camp. Phase One was Training Camp opening until… well now. You might assume the end of Phase One means that now we can expect the first round of roster cuts. I sure hope so but let’s have some fun with this: who’s our Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and Hulk of Phase One? I point out those Avengers because they got origin films. Here’s my picks: Jimmy Vesey is Iron Man because I hate you but unfortunately you’re here to stay for the next few phases. Captain America is Henri Jokiharju because he’s back from the dead and here to win the day! Thor is Tage Thompson because his movie in this phase wasn’t that good but there is promise there still. Hulk is John Gilmour because that dude may not have a good chance of making the roster but he’s going to smash his way there! We’ll see what Phase Two holds, but we’ll probably see a slightly different roster by the end. Who knows what lineup we’ll have to face to cap off Phase Three and face the Regular Season, AKA Thanos! Oh yeah, I was supposed to be talking about the phases of Sabres Training Camp. Krueger, who I guess is Nick Fury in this bit, said Phase Two will run through the two Toronto games right up to before the last two matchups against Columbus and Pittsburgh. Maybe we’ll get more cuts then too. Finally Phase Three carries us right up to the end of Training Camp and finalizing the roster for the regular season. In this Sabres MCU of sorts Krueger gives us a clear plan to hold onto when things get rough like tonight. I don’t know what kinda plan Phil Housley had but I didn’t see this much of it.

Well that’s it for today. Turns out this blog relies a bit on the Sabres giving me some material to riff off. There wasn’t much here tonight. Drop a like, comment and let me know who your Avengers are for Phase One of Training Camp. The problem with that bit I guess is that the team-up film at the end of Phase One was good… not so much the Sabres’. I’ll have a lot to talk about with these two Leafs games this weekend. I always vomit words when we play the Leafs. I was really hoping to drag em for the Mitch Marner situation but like most things in their rebuild it has come together brilliantly before I had the chance to. Don’t worry, I won’t be complimenting our northern neighbors come Friday. Hopefully we get a proper broadcast for those games. Bring me the cuts!!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. Casey Mittelstadt didn’t look fantastic tonight. I’m going to stay out of the fear bunker on that one over one measly preseason game but I’m definitely locating the door.